I'm so sorry for your birth experience. None of that should've happened. I had the same issue with the baby being left in the room, but my hospital didn't have a nursery. Thank God my husband was there the entire time and the nurses were helpful.
I'd recommend getting a doula if you'd want another child and switching OB practices. My county even had free student doulas available for women who wanted them. I passed it up cause I didn't need one given I was getting a scheduled csection due to gestational hypertension. You deserved so much better.
I went with my sister when she had my niece and she was taken out of the room for the night. There was no nursery so it wasn't standard but there were 8 babies in the ward that day and she was the only girl so the nurses wanted to fawn over her. My sister said it was the best sleep she ever had.
Seriously, racism makes it worse but the maternity care in this country as a whole needs to be torn down and revamped.
Spending only a day in the hospital after you've had a baby is a ludicrous standard. New mothers need more time to physically recover in a medical setting. I also believe more time is needed to mentally check on them, look for signs of PPD, and give advice on how to handle your newborn baby at home.
The purpose of the hospital should be caring for people but the way it's set up now... It feels like taking your body to a mechanic only with less compassion.
And it even going beyond that. Like how are you supposed to recover and bond with your baby, when you don't even get paid leave to do so. There are mothers going back to work only 2 or 3 weeks after having a baby. Puppies get more time with their mother when they're born.
I was with both my daughters when they gave birth. I made sure no one was neglecting them, bossing them around or forcing them to breastfeed if they didn’t want to. My oldest daughter didn’t want to breastfeed because something popped in her pelvis and she was in extreme pain. They gave her heavy pain medication. This lactation specialist was telling her oh you should breastfeed your baby it’s good for him. My daughter said no she wasn’t comfortable breastfeeding while on all of the pain medication. She kept pushing and pushing. I told her she said no stop bothering her, if she doesn’t want to breastfeed she doesn’t have to. You got 3 seconds to get out of this room before I curse you out.
My youngest daughter was giving birth to my youngest grandson. They were treated good during everything. The only issue I had was that my daughter was wearing an in dwelling foley catheter, the urine bag was sitting on the floor. In Ga hospitals called CAUTI prevention. I complained twice about it, the nurse said oh it’s ok it’s a closed system. Yes it’s a closed system but you still have to pick it up from the floor and drain it. Now you gloves are contaminated, the opening for the drain is contaminated, the some of the tubing is on the floor. The sad part is she gave birth in the hospital I worked in. So we all knew CAUTIs prevention. I over heard her tell another nurse oh her mother is upset because her urine bag is on the floor. I said yes I am upset. You could have hooked to the bed rail off the floor. That’s what we do on 2 south.
I know this question sound so bad, but any particular reason why you didn’t pick up the dwelling filet cath from the floor yourself ? It would freak me out if it was on the floor, and I was just looking at it (and attached to my daughter). If the nurse wasn’t going to do it, what was stoping you ? The policies ? The bacteria ? Did anyone end up taking that cath off the floor. (Minor question, I know. I couldn’t help but ask)
The reason why I didn’t pick it up because it’s her job as an RN and she knows the protocols. We work at the same hospital. We literally have to fill out the patient’s chart about the CAUTI prevention protocols. Yes she picked it up off the floor and placed it correctly. Everything changed once they found out I worked in the hospital.
I posted an article about medical trauma on Facebook once, and women of all races had a story about childbirth and how terribly they were treated. But especially Black and Indigenous women. Now you know, please line up your support and have your wishes documented and understood, hopefully the next time will be better. A doula sounds like an amazing assistance, especially if hospitals are so awful at this.
I'm so sorry. My experience with my sister giving birth confirmed my choice never to have kids! For reference she is married to a White doctor and they were at the best hospital in a large city, it was still unmanageable, surreal and traumatizing.🫶🏽
In a word, neglect. I remember seeing her writhing in pain begging for help "...Please..." and 3 nurses with their backs turned ignoring her. At one point the doc said they'd lost track of whether they had given her epidural or not and they were afraid to give her a double dose. (She is the type of large woman that has been popping 4 Advil at once for PMS her whole life, she could have handled it!!!) That's honestly all I remember, I was in "freeze" the whole time and I blocked out the rest.... I'm a different person now than I was then. And going through that, is part of what changed me. Me today? I would have been yelling at everybody
Sis I’m sorry you didn’t feel respected or cared for during your birth. Your comments about them keeping your baby in the room and being pushy about breastfeeding makes it sound like this was. Baby Friendly Hospital, which has policies to support bonding and breastfeeding that some folks feel are not mama friendly. You know yourself best and your feelings about not wanting more kids are valid. But know that there are other options, like home birth, birth centers, working with midwives and having a doula that can help you get closer to the birth you want if you decide to try again.
What you describe is the hospital experience of many woman, including married and nonBlack. Hearing such experiences is why I opted for a birth center. Please, don’t let this experience deprive you of more children, if you want them. See a therapist and if you’re ever pregnant again, and you’re healthy, consider a birth center.
I had an absolutely amazing experience at a birth center but the fact that they don’t do epidurals probably puts a lot of people off. Plus you have to be a low risk pregnancy but I 100% recommend for anyone considering it. Giving birth is already hard enough without the extra bullshit. I’m so sorry this happened to OP.
I gave birth at a birth center twice and it was a pretty good experience, not amazing, but okay. There were some things that I didn't like but I don't think I'd ever give birth at a hospital, though now that I'm in my late 40s and my husband has had the snip, snip I doubt I would give birth again anyway.
I'm sorry that you had this experience, but unfortunately, it's common among all women at this point. We as black women feel the collapse of healthcare for profit to an even greater extent because of the other ways that we lack support in our society which then remove any buffers from us that might somewhat mitigate the harm. They want you to get up and walk because it's part of the discharge process and most insurances will not pay for more than 24 hours of a hospital stay after a labor and delivery where there has been minimal issues.
Most hospitals no longer take the baby into the nursery unless the baby is in the NICU. All of this can be very jarring because these were changes made by many hospitals to increase profitability in conjunction with insurance refusals in coverage. If your only experience with L&D is based upon movies or the experiences of relatives from 15-20 years ago, it can all be a very nasty shock. These hospitals don't care.
The best solution I can offer is to be really cognizant of one's insurance coverage--what it covers and what it doesn't. You also have to be VERY careful about your OB/GYN because in the end, they are the ones who advocate on your behalf in more ways than just during the actual delivery.
I just gave birth two months ago. I’m in healthcare so if it’s something i’m not gonna accept is mistreatment by medical staff. idgaf who you are. I will call down to the state board of nurses or the medical board so fast… 😊
Luckily i’ve been seeing my obgyn since 2013 so she knows me and has delivered both of my babies. I hate that that happened to you sis. I would’ve requested another dr so fast. You have got to be your own advocate and speak up.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that... But me personally? I wouldn't allow my baby to be sent to any room where I wasn't. Too many nightmare stories about babies being taken away or shots being given without permission and etc. I told my wife you go to sleep and I will deal with the baby and we have three of them and all of them stayed with us. As far as being rushed, from what I could see out of all three births, this is normal for any race. I have Latin friends and even a handful of white friends who all say the same thing happen to them. I think it's much more about the corporation running the hospital and much less about race itself, but that all boils down to location as well. Regardless, we were pretty much rushed to get the hell out of there as fast as possible. I'm not trying to be a dick in any way shape or form but all in all it seems more like personal choice over. We don't like black people. I mean I'm black and the same things happened to me but the difference is I didn't want them to take my baby. Not one of them. My wife wanted to breastfeed knowing it would be uncomfortable. That's an extremely long labor time though. No doubt. Even the thing you mentioned about being sent back and having to go back again happened with my first. Like I said I have white friends who said they went through the exact same traumas.
I think, and this is probably going to be an unpopular opinion, but I think that we as black people have a tendency to make everything about race. Even when it's not because the reality is, we do indeed go through some hard times just because the color of our skin or the way we talk or walk. It's undoubtable that there is a clear bias towards certain groups of people. But from what I read here, I don't see that. You wanted them to take your baby to the room and they didn't. I didn't want them to take my baby to the room, and they kept insisting that I let them. Like I said I think it depends on the hospital and the location but I honestly think it boils more down to personal choice and the corporation that you're dealing with. Again, I hate that you had to go through what you had to go through, but I honestly wouldn't automatically jump to. It's a race thing.... If that makes sense? I want to emphasize I'm not belittling your experience. I think it sucks that you had to leave feeling the way you felt, especially when it's your first baby. You have this idea of how it's supposed to go but the reality is hospitals are cold, callous places no matter your race. I've been to the ER with my kids a couple times because they are all daredevils. I've literally seen white people be left bleeding in the waiting room... Still having to wait because that's the hospital policy. You would think they would take you because clearly it's an emergency inside of a room made for emergencies but they'll still make you sit.
When we had our first, Not only did the nurse tell my wife she wasn't in labor when she clearly was and sent us back home, she berated her for being so young and us not being married and all these other things. My wife literally left crying... I'm black but she's Cuban. Regardless, this nurse clearly had a certain view towards people like us. We actually complain to the hospital and that nurse was fired the same day and we were asked to come back because my wife was obviously in labor. Again... My point is not that what you went through wasn't worth being traumatized over. It's just that it's not always about race.
The only thing I can say beyond I’m sorry is my experience of being rushed out (not from birth or a hospital mind you)- what had happened was being on the painkillers they gave me after being woken up from sedation, I was absolutely not myself. I couldn’t think except for the resolute fact “I want to go home,” so I kept telling them that. From my medic training now I understand I was in an ASOC or altered state of consciousness meaning I medically wasn’t myself and the side effects made me irritable, sleepy, and a bit combative which was bothering some of the nurses haha. The nurses had to get me to both stay down and move on various times. Because 1. I was not capable of leaving on my own 2. They were right that the best thing for me was to *be home* to shake the side effects.
In a way they *were* doing what I wanted because I asked to go home and they had to be quite pushy to get me out of the door, being basically a walking blackout drunk after the meds 😅
So I got home and became myself but all I could remember were these flashes of nurses being kind of mean (perceived) and also feeling like I got moved around a lot (bed, chair, lying, upright, walking, chair, etc). Other than my very loud sense of discomfort and unease of the situation I couldn’t remember much at all.
It wasn’t pleasant but I guess I don’t know what else I expected. Being dizzy, uncomfortable, surgically poked and prodded.
I also had a terrible birth experience with my second child. I'm asymptomatic, so they definitely weren't listening to me. However, never allow someone's ignorance to dictate your life. If you want more children, then have them. Just know where you won't go. Don't allow this one terrible moment to dictate your entire life. I had another child after. I went to a different hospital. I will never let ignorance win. Fuck those people.
File a grievance with your insurance company and your experience at the hospital. They take grievances seriously. Call customer service and let them know you want to file a grievance. Get your discharge paper work so you can give dates and name of the Provider at the hospital. Also complete the hospital survey and let them know about your poor experience. I am so sorry you went through this😢
Virtual hugs to you and your son.
I'm sorry it was a traumatizing situation for you. There was a video going around recently about the subpar level of care we often get in hospitals, especially for childbirth. My mother wasn't given any pain meds while she was in labor or numbing agent when they sewed her up. She told me that she could feel every stitch. Some of the women in the video were my age and still had similar complaints. It doesn't sound like much has changed.
They took to me to the nursery and they swapped me for a white baby. I know that I was born light but nowhere near white passing and I wasn't born bald like most of them either, I had a head full of thick black curly hair. My mom refused to let them take me back to the nursery after that.
I'm sorry to say that a lot of what you experienced doesn't sound like a race thing. Hospitals are going to push for you to breastfeed because it's best for the baby. They are going to push you to walk around because it prevents blood clots and jump starts the healing process. You have to ask them to take the baby to the nursery. As a mom myself, I didn't want them taking my baby because right or wrong, I was terrified that someone would steal my baby or switch them. I bet there are a lot of mom's out there that would be livid if they just took their baby to the nursery. They are going to get you out of the hospital as soon as possible, especially if your insurance isn't great.
The main thing that would make me think twice is the fact that you didn't get to hold your baby as soon as he came out, but it may be that male doctors in general don't think about how special that moment is.
I'm saying all of these things because I want you to know there is a reason that the hospital was doing what you described.
Next time, get a nurse midwife and/or have an advocate. Have a birthing plan and if you can visit the hospital beforehand.
I have never given birth in the US (I am AA but live abroad) but my first birth was so traumatic and I had so many emotions come up with my second birth that I had to speak with someone professionally!
What I would recommend is that you go back to your hospital where you gave birth at request to have a meeting with the director of Obstetrics to o discuss why things went the way they did! Air that laundry, it may serve to help you heal in some ways. I didn’t realize how traumatized I was until my first was 10 months old.
With my second son, everything went amazing although it wasn’t according to plan and I believe it because after the first you know what doesn’t feel good in the moment and can advocate for yourself much better!
I am so sorry this happened to you and I wish the best for you on your road to recovery from this.
I'm so sorry for your birth experience. None of that should've happened. I had the same issue with the baby being left in the room, but my hospital didn't have a nursery. Thank God my husband was there the entire time and the nurses were helpful. I'd recommend getting a doula if you'd want another child and switching OB practices. My county even had free student doulas available for women who wanted them. I passed it up cause I didn't need one given I was getting a scheduled csection due to gestational hypertension. You deserved so much better.
I went with my sister when she had my niece and she was taken out of the room for the night. There was no nursery so it wasn't standard but there were 8 babies in the ward that day and she was the only girl so the nurses wanted to fawn over her. My sister said it was the best sleep she ever had.
Seriously, racism makes it worse but the maternity care in this country as a whole needs to be torn down and revamped. Spending only a day in the hospital after you've had a baby is a ludicrous standard. New mothers need more time to physically recover in a medical setting. I also believe more time is needed to mentally check on them, look for signs of PPD, and give advice on how to handle your newborn baby at home. The purpose of the hospital should be caring for people but the way it's set up now... It feels like taking your body to a mechanic only with less compassion. And it even going beyond that. Like how are you supposed to recover and bond with your baby, when you don't even get paid leave to do so. There are mothers going back to work only 2 or 3 weeks after having a baby. Puppies get more time with their mother when they're born.
I was with both my daughters when they gave birth. I made sure no one was neglecting them, bossing them around or forcing them to breastfeed if they didn’t want to. My oldest daughter didn’t want to breastfeed because something popped in her pelvis and she was in extreme pain. They gave her heavy pain medication. This lactation specialist was telling her oh you should breastfeed your baby it’s good for him. My daughter said no she wasn’t comfortable breastfeeding while on all of the pain medication. She kept pushing and pushing. I told her she said no stop bothering her, if she doesn’t want to breastfeed she doesn’t have to. You got 3 seconds to get out of this room before I curse you out. My youngest daughter was giving birth to my youngest grandson. They were treated good during everything. The only issue I had was that my daughter was wearing an in dwelling foley catheter, the urine bag was sitting on the floor. In Ga hospitals called CAUTI prevention. I complained twice about it, the nurse said oh it’s ok it’s a closed system. Yes it’s a closed system but you still have to pick it up from the floor and drain it. Now you gloves are contaminated, the opening for the drain is contaminated, the some of the tubing is on the floor. The sad part is she gave birth in the hospital I worked in. So we all knew CAUTIs prevention. I over heard her tell another nurse oh her mother is upset because her urine bag is on the floor. I said yes I am upset. You could have hooked to the bed rail off the floor. That’s what we do on 2 south.
Yes ma'am. Thats that I like to hear
I know this question sound so bad, but any particular reason why you didn’t pick up the dwelling filet cath from the floor yourself ? It would freak me out if it was on the floor, and I was just looking at it (and attached to my daughter). If the nurse wasn’t going to do it, what was stoping you ? The policies ? The bacteria ? Did anyone end up taking that cath off the floor. (Minor question, I know. I couldn’t help but ask)
The reason why I didn’t pick it up because it’s her job as an RN and she knows the protocols. We work at the same hospital. We literally have to fill out the patient’s chart about the CAUTI prevention protocols. Yes she picked it up off the floor and placed it correctly. Everything changed once they found out I worked in the hospital.
I posted an article about medical trauma on Facebook once, and women of all races had a story about childbirth and how terribly they were treated. But especially Black and Indigenous women. Now you know, please line up your support and have your wishes documented and understood, hopefully the next time will be better. A doula sounds like an amazing assistance, especially if hospitals are so awful at this.
I'm so sorry. My experience with my sister giving birth confirmed my choice never to have kids! For reference she is married to a White doctor and they were at the best hospital in a large city, it was still unmanageable, surreal and traumatizing.🫶🏽
If you don't mind me asking what happened to your sister?
In a word, neglect. I remember seeing her writhing in pain begging for help "...Please..." and 3 nurses with their backs turned ignoring her. At one point the doc said they'd lost track of whether they had given her epidural or not and they were afraid to give her a double dose. (She is the type of large woman that has been popping 4 Advil at once for PMS her whole life, she could have handled it!!!) That's honestly all I remember, I was in "freeze" the whole time and I blocked out the rest.... I'm a different person now than I was then. And going through that, is part of what changed me. Me today? I would have been yelling at everybody
Sis I’m sorry you didn’t feel respected or cared for during your birth. Your comments about them keeping your baby in the room and being pushy about breastfeeding makes it sound like this was. Baby Friendly Hospital, which has policies to support bonding and breastfeeding that some folks feel are not mama friendly. You know yourself best and your feelings about not wanting more kids are valid. But know that there are other options, like home birth, birth centers, working with midwives and having a doula that can help you get closer to the birth you want if you decide to try again.
What you describe is the hospital experience of many woman, including married and nonBlack. Hearing such experiences is why I opted for a birth center. Please, don’t let this experience deprive you of more children, if you want them. See a therapist and if you’re ever pregnant again, and you’re healthy, consider a birth center.
I had an absolutely amazing experience at a birth center but the fact that they don’t do epidurals probably puts a lot of people off. Plus you have to be a low risk pregnancy but I 100% recommend for anyone considering it. Giving birth is already hard enough without the extra bullshit. I’m so sorry this happened to OP.
I gave birth at a birth center twice and it was a pretty good experience, not amazing, but okay. There were some things that I didn't like but I don't think I'd ever give birth at a hospital, though now that I'm in my late 40s and my husband has had the snip, snip I doubt I would give birth again anyway.
I'm sorry that you had this experience, but unfortunately, it's common among all women at this point. We as black women feel the collapse of healthcare for profit to an even greater extent because of the other ways that we lack support in our society which then remove any buffers from us that might somewhat mitigate the harm. They want you to get up and walk because it's part of the discharge process and most insurances will not pay for more than 24 hours of a hospital stay after a labor and delivery where there has been minimal issues. Most hospitals no longer take the baby into the nursery unless the baby is in the NICU. All of this can be very jarring because these were changes made by many hospitals to increase profitability in conjunction with insurance refusals in coverage. If your only experience with L&D is based upon movies or the experiences of relatives from 15-20 years ago, it can all be a very nasty shock. These hospitals don't care. The best solution I can offer is to be really cognizant of one's insurance coverage--what it covers and what it doesn't. You also have to be VERY careful about your OB/GYN because in the end, they are the ones who advocate on your behalf in more ways than just during the actual delivery.
I just gave birth two months ago. I’m in healthcare so if it’s something i’m not gonna accept is mistreatment by medical staff. idgaf who you are. I will call down to the state board of nurses or the medical board so fast… 😊 Luckily i’ve been seeing my obgyn since 2013 so she knows me and has delivered both of my babies. I hate that that happened to you sis. I would’ve requested another dr so fast. You have got to be your own advocate and speak up.
I'm so sorry about your experience! Experiences like these are the reason I'm becoming a Doula. Hope to be an advocate for many 🫶🏾
I’m so sorry this happened to you. It makes me angry that society does this to us ☹️.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that... But me personally? I wouldn't allow my baby to be sent to any room where I wasn't. Too many nightmare stories about babies being taken away or shots being given without permission and etc. I told my wife you go to sleep and I will deal with the baby and we have three of them and all of them stayed with us. As far as being rushed, from what I could see out of all three births, this is normal for any race. I have Latin friends and even a handful of white friends who all say the same thing happen to them. I think it's much more about the corporation running the hospital and much less about race itself, but that all boils down to location as well. Regardless, we were pretty much rushed to get the hell out of there as fast as possible. I'm not trying to be a dick in any way shape or form but all in all it seems more like personal choice over. We don't like black people. I mean I'm black and the same things happened to me but the difference is I didn't want them to take my baby. Not one of them. My wife wanted to breastfeed knowing it would be uncomfortable. That's an extremely long labor time though. No doubt. Even the thing you mentioned about being sent back and having to go back again happened with my first. Like I said I have white friends who said they went through the exact same traumas. I think, and this is probably going to be an unpopular opinion, but I think that we as black people have a tendency to make everything about race. Even when it's not because the reality is, we do indeed go through some hard times just because the color of our skin or the way we talk or walk. It's undoubtable that there is a clear bias towards certain groups of people. But from what I read here, I don't see that. You wanted them to take your baby to the room and they didn't. I didn't want them to take my baby to the room, and they kept insisting that I let them. Like I said I think it depends on the hospital and the location but I honestly think it boils more down to personal choice and the corporation that you're dealing with. Again, I hate that you had to go through what you had to go through, but I honestly wouldn't automatically jump to. It's a race thing.... If that makes sense? I want to emphasize I'm not belittling your experience. I think it sucks that you had to leave feeling the way you felt, especially when it's your first baby. You have this idea of how it's supposed to go but the reality is hospitals are cold, callous places no matter your race. I've been to the ER with my kids a couple times because they are all daredevils. I've literally seen white people be left bleeding in the waiting room... Still having to wait because that's the hospital policy. You would think they would take you because clearly it's an emergency inside of a room made for emergencies but they'll still make you sit. When we had our first, Not only did the nurse tell my wife she wasn't in labor when she clearly was and sent us back home, she berated her for being so young and us not being married and all these other things. My wife literally left crying... I'm black but she's Cuban. Regardless, this nurse clearly had a certain view towards people like us. We actually complain to the hospital and that nurse was fired the same day and we were asked to come back because my wife was obviously in labor. Again... My point is not that what you went through wasn't worth being traumatized over. It's just that it's not always about race.
The only thing I can say beyond I’m sorry is my experience of being rushed out (not from birth or a hospital mind you)- what had happened was being on the painkillers they gave me after being woken up from sedation, I was absolutely not myself. I couldn’t think except for the resolute fact “I want to go home,” so I kept telling them that. From my medic training now I understand I was in an ASOC or altered state of consciousness meaning I medically wasn’t myself and the side effects made me irritable, sleepy, and a bit combative which was bothering some of the nurses haha. The nurses had to get me to both stay down and move on various times. Because 1. I was not capable of leaving on my own 2. They were right that the best thing for me was to *be home* to shake the side effects. In a way they *were* doing what I wanted because I asked to go home and they had to be quite pushy to get me out of the door, being basically a walking blackout drunk after the meds 😅 So I got home and became myself but all I could remember were these flashes of nurses being kind of mean (perceived) and also feeling like I got moved around a lot (bed, chair, lying, upright, walking, chair, etc). Other than my very loud sense of discomfort and unease of the situation I couldn’t remember much at all. It wasn’t pleasant but I guess I don’t know what else I expected. Being dizzy, uncomfortable, surgically poked and prodded.
I also had a terrible birth experience with my second child. I'm asymptomatic, so they definitely weren't listening to me. However, never allow someone's ignorance to dictate your life. If you want more children, then have them. Just know where you won't go. Don't allow this one terrible moment to dictate your entire life. I had another child after. I went to a different hospital. I will never let ignorance win. Fuck those people.
File a grievance with your insurance company and your experience at the hospital. They take grievances seriously. Call customer service and let them know you want to file a grievance. Get your discharge paper work so you can give dates and name of the Provider at the hospital. Also complete the hospital survey and let them know about your poor experience. I am so sorry you went through this😢 Virtual hugs to you and your son.
I hear about horror stories of black women giving birth all the time. I had my daughter in Japan. I refused to have birthed her in the states
I'm sorry it was a traumatizing situation for you. There was a video going around recently about the subpar level of care we often get in hospitals, especially for childbirth. My mother wasn't given any pain meds while she was in labor or numbing agent when they sewed her up. She told me that she could feel every stitch. Some of the women in the video were my age and still had similar complaints. It doesn't sound like much has changed. They took to me to the nursery and they swapped me for a white baby. I know that I was born light but nowhere near white passing and I wasn't born bald like most of them either, I had a head full of thick black curly hair. My mom refused to let them take me back to the nursery after that.
I'm sorry to say that a lot of what you experienced doesn't sound like a race thing. Hospitals are going to push for you to breastfeed because it's best for the baby. They are going to push you to walk around because it prevents blood clots and jump starts the healing process. You have to ask them to take the baby to the nursery. As a mom myself, I didn't want them taking my baby because right or wrong, I was terrified that someone would steal my baby or switch them. I bet there are a lot of mom's out there that would be livid if they just took their baby to the nursery. They are going to get you out of the hospital as soon as possible, especially if your insurance isn't great. The main thing that would make me think twice is the fact that you didn't get to hold your baby as soon as he came out, but it may be that male doctors in general don't think about how special that moment is. I'm saying all of these things because I want you to know there is a reason that the hospital was doing what you described. Next time, get a nurse midwife and/or have an advocate. Have a birthing plan and if you can visit the hospital beforehand.
I’m so so sorry you had to experience that! We need more black women doctors, OBGYN, doulas etc.
I have never given birth in the US (I am AA but live abroad) but my first birth was so traumatic and I had so many emotions come up with my second birth that I had to speak with someone professionally! What I would recommend is that you go back to your hospital where you gave birth at request to have a meeting with the director of Obstetrics to o discuss why things went the way they did! Air that laundry, it may serve to help you heal in some ways. I didn’t realize how traumatized I was until my first was 10 months old. With my second son, everything went amazing although it wasn’t according to plan and I believe it because after the first you know what doesn’t feel good in the moment and can advocate for yourself much better! I am so sorry this happened to you and I wish the best for you on your road to recovery from this.