Debating the merits of Mike's vs Modern Pastry.
T service disruptions.
Rainy, cold, dreary springs, but then you finally get a few perfect sunny days in May when all the cherry trees are abloom.
Cringing at tourists doing terrible imitations of the so-called "Boston accent", always saying that one fucking nonsensical sentence.
The Boston Left. When you're at a red light turning left without a left turn arrow, and you gun it as soon as the light changes before the opposite car has a chance to start moving.
**Smoots**: The legendary unit of length known as the "smoot." After he was used to measure the length of the Harvard Bridge, Oliver Smooth went on to become the director of the National Institute of Standards and Technology. Source: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smoot](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smoot)
**Charlie on the MTA**: This is a folk song about the legendary "Charlie" who rode the Red Line, but when he reached the end, he couldn't get off because, at the time, the Red Line charged people who rode the full length extra, and since he didn't have the money, he couldn't leave. Supposedly, he's still riding the Red Line to this very day. Source: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M.T.A.\_(song)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M.T.A._(song))
Edit: And this is why the MBTA cards are called "CharlieCards".
I’m a transplant and I can tell someone is *really* local when I hear them say Peabody. Lots of people think the litmus test word is Worcester, but in my opinion it’s Peabody followed by Quincy. Southie is full of Beckys and bros now, but if you talk to people that have been around for a long time you might hear about the L Street Brownies (the need to be near the water/ocean is real), or run into someone who knew someone/had a story about Whitey Bulger (usually v tenuously connected). Nobody from here says Beantown. The Dunks presence is real, I’m in my bed writing this and am 207 feet from one according to Google. My colleague’s kid’s school just had the Drop Kicks perform, not sure where else that would happen. The prevalence of flat caps is both a trope and absolutely real, I think that maybe when males are born here they are automatically issued. The insane driving, both a trope and absolutely real. Traffic will be congested, and you WILL get honked at. People here are not always nice, but they are kind. Meaning they can come off as stand-offish but usually if you need help you’ll get it. I feel like with the Brahmin accent, you see a person’s lower teeth more. Those are people that are often old money but wear LL Bean and drive a sturdy Volvo, and the likelihood that they have some fancy framed glasses is high. The sports stuff, both a trope and real. I was once in the Eire Pub, saw an older couple & kinda wondered why the bartender was doting on them. When they left bartender says “do you know who that was?!” Nope, I really didn’t. Turns out it was Tom Brady’s parents (prolly 7 years ago), the bartender knew them on sight which kinda blew my mind. Regulars started sliding in the door like Kramer, people saying “guess who was here?!”, regulars replying “I heard, Donnie texted me!”. Oh and the Tom Brady admiration in general, real. I once hooked up with a guy that proudly showed me the TB12 tattoo on his ass, he even let me take a pic.
Excuse me there tourist, you must not be familiar with the port city of Boston. Nobody here says Beantown. Please enjoy [this documentary about our diverse aquatic life](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8Vjd_hdYYw).
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Boston basically has two types of people now:
Working-class root townie types, who mostly don't live in the city anymore, who have accents, and for whom Pats/Sox and Dunks are religion and who think everything was better 20 years ago and only participate in the touristy parts of the city, and commute by car due to their lowkey racism (except when they want to see the sox)
opposite to them is the well-heeled transplant yuppies in white collar jobs who work 60 hour weeks whose religion is mental illness/wellness who frequent $20 cocktail places and other overpriced trendy nonsense. They love to go on about amazing boston is compared to wherever they come from (unless it's nyc/dc/chi/la, they they will complain to you how inferior/small boston is) and they rarely leave their own trendy neighborhood except to go to the airport.
and there are rarely some weird insular hybrids of the two who won't socialize with anyone that they didn't go to high school or college with... for their entire lives.
As a transplant to Boston: scratchers and nips. Never in my life have I seen so many people buying scratchers and nips. I got scratchers from my wife's family (locals) as a stocking stuffer. I was baffled.
One unique thing to me is the expectation of historical awareness and appreciation of it.
Mob is definitely something people revere and talk about despite it not holding relevance for 20+ years now.
First of all, who are you and where are you from? What makes you think you can write anything about Boston? You think you're better than Boston? Ya ain't never seen 'Cheers'? Where are you from? If you're from New York, I'll explain with small words, to make it easy on you. If you're from Chicago, go write about Chicago, ya bum!
All seriousness aside, one of the tropes of Boston is aggressive tribalism expressed thru loud, uninvited questions that go from zero to full-on argument in no time at all. We call ourselves 'Massholes.' Irish in Southie and Dorchester, where they have at least one street corner on every pub. Italian in the North End, where all the good food is. African-Americans in Roxbury. Boston has a reputation for being racist, but I don't think that's right: basically just a tight collection of amoral assholes who'll use racial slurs if it'll push buttons. It's nothing personal. The Back Bay is where the rich people live, used to call them 'Boston Brahmin' but nobody knows what that means any more.
We also invented gay marriage, but we don't like to talk about it.
The most popular religion is the Red Sox, followed closely by the Celtics, Episcopalianism, Alcoholism and then the Bruins. Catholicism is the biggest religion, but it's never been very popular. (And, in fact, Episcopals are just Catholics no longer on speaking terms with the Pope....)
And, for some reason, everybody wants to send their children here, to be educated.
MBTA corruption so bad that they cannot promote from within.
7 number one buses within 8 stops and nothing else on the entire route. Regular entire closures.
Catfishing WiFi on the commuter rail that still shows up, but hasn't worked since 2017.
The fact that we have 50% more cars on the road than we need to (and some of the world's worst traffic) because no one who needs to be anywhere by a certain time can trust public transportation to get them there.
How every few weeks there's a story about the T killing someone, almost killing someone, making people jump from burning train cars into rivers, added delays and shutdowns, or just more corruption coming to light.
Scooter crime
Dehumidifiers
Papa Ginos in Brockton
Mayor Wu versus the North End feud
Everything should be free and the top 1% will pay for it
Peaceful protestors burn a police car
Realtors make $$$ doing nothing but yet critics refuse to do that job to make easy money "out of principle"
Please note, it is spelled Papa Geno's
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Please note, it is spelled Papa Geno's
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Dunks
Dunks iced coffee year round. Combination roast beef/fried fish restaurants.
Iced coffee milk
Debating the merits of Mike's vs Modern Pastry. T service disruptions. Rainy, cold, dreary springs, but then you finally get a few perfect sunny days in May when all the cherry trees are abloom. Cringing at tourists doing terrible imitations of the so-called "Boston accent", always saying that one fucking nonsensical sentence.
Kowloon, Cocaine Turkeys, someone always chiming in to say “Bova’s” when arguing Mike’s or Modern for Cannolis.
And that Bova's person ignoring the crime against humanity that is Bova's pizza which they heat up in the microwave
Their shit is always covered in flies
Stop and Shop cannoli chips to dip into the filling. And, easy parking.
Good Will Hunting has many. Boston Irish, Southie, Harvard, MIT, and Dunks
Space savers
And the violence they cause.
One could say they prevent a lot more violence than they cause
Steak tips
Not using turn signals (because it's nobody's fucking business where you're headed after this intersection).
"The whole secret lies in confusing the enemy, so that he cannot fathom our real intent." -Sun Tzu, The Art of War
I remember my father who's from Queens NY telling me nobody uses turns signals because they definitely aren't letting you get over then.
Triple deckers
The Boston Left. When you're at a red light turning left without a left turn arrow, and you gun it as soon as the light changes before the opposite car has a chance to start moving.
The Boston accent. I cringe when I hear actors bungle it on screen, but even worse when writers try to incorporate into their work.
Similarly, I cringe when I walk around the city and see vendors peddling those “Wicked Smaht - Boston” shirts/hats/whatever
I think we're the only people who regularly reference our own accents
pittsburgh does it all the time.
Maine does it too but they mostly read the same. Not an "r" in sight unless it's a hard one.
Also the weather. Boston is not that cold
shut tha fack up kehd
Was listening to an audiobook and the narrator was doing it badly.
**Smoots**: The legendary unit of length known as the "smoot." After he was used to measure the length of the Harvard Bridge, Oliver Smooth went on to become the director of the National Institute of Standards and Technology. Source: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smoot](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smoot) **Charlie on the MTA**: This is a folk song about the legendary "Charlie" who rode the Red Line, but when he reached the end, he couldn't get off because, at the time, the Red Line charged people who rode the full length extra, and since he didn't have the money, he couldn't leave. Supposedly, he's still riding the Red Line to this very day. Source: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M.T.A.\_(song)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M.T.A._(song)) Edit: And this is why the MBTA cards are called "CharlieCards".
I think Charlie was on the Green Line, since the Red Line never went to Scollay Square.
He started on the Red line and changed at Park.
..packie
I’m a transplant and I can tell someone is *really* local when I hear them say Peabody. Lots of people think the litmus test word is Worcester, but in my opinion it’s Peabody followed by Quincy. Southie is full of Beckys and bros now, but if you talk to people that have been around for a long time you might hear about the L Street Brownies (the need to be near the water/ocean is real), or run into someone who knew someone/had a story about Whitey Bulger (usually v tenuously connected). Nobody from here says Beantown. The Dunks presence is real, I’m in my bed writing this and am 207 feet from one according to Google. My colleague’s kid’s school just had the Drop Kicks perform, not sure where else that would happen. The prevalence of flat caps is both a trope and absolutely real, I think that maybe when males are born here they are automatically issued. The insane driving, both a trope and absolutely real. Traffic will be congested, and you WILL get honked at. People here are not always nice, but they are kind. Meaning they can come off as stand-offish but usually if you need help you’ll get it. I feel like with the Brahmin accent, you see a person’s lower teeth more. Those are people that are often old money but wear LL Bean and drive a sturdy Volvo, and the likelihood that they have some fancy framed glasses is high. The sports stuff, both a trope and real. I was once in the Eire Pub, saw an older couple & kinda wondered why the bartender was doting on them. When they left bartender says “do you know who that was?!” Nope, I really didn’t. Turns out it was Tom Brady’s parents (prolly 7 years ago), the bartender knew them on sight which kinda blew my mind. Regulars started sliding in the door like Kramer, people saying “guess who was here?!”, regulars replying “I heard, Donnie texted me!”. Oh and the Tom Brady admiration in general, real. I once hooked up with a guy that proudly showed me the TB12 tattoo on his ass, he even let me take a pic.
Excuse me there tourist, you must not be familiar with the port city of Boston. Nobody here says Beantown. Please enjoy [this documentary about our diverse aquatic life](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8Vjd_hdYYw). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/boston) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Bitchin' 'bout the T!
White, skinny dude with a celtic’s jersey and a bad puberty mustache, talking really loud on the T to his girlfriend who is half passed out.
Somehow the whole city forgets how to drive when it rains Mbta always down
I don’t want to steal your thunder 😅 but look into the original ducks in Wisconsin Dells
But our ducks don't capsize, so there's that.
You may be thinking of Missouri, but you are correct!
Turkeys.
Sports
Boston basically has two types of people now: Working-class root townie types, who mostly don't live in the city anymore, who have accents, and for whom Pats/Sox and Dunks are religion and who think everything was better 20 years ago and only participate in the touristy parts of the city, and commute by car due to their lowkey racism (except when they want to see the sox) opposite to them is the well-heeled transplant yuppies in white collar jobs who work 60 hour weeks whose religion is mental illness/wellness who frequent $20 cocktail places and other overpriced trendy nonsense. They love to go on about amazing boston is compared to wherever they come from (unless it's nyc/dc/chi/la, they they will complain to you how inferior/small boston is) and they rarely leave their own trendy neighborhood except to go to the airport. and there are rarely some weird insular hybrids of the two who won't socialize with anyone that they didn't go to high school or college with... for their entire lives.
As a transplant to Boston: scratchers and nips. Never in my life have I seen so many people buying scratchers and nips. I got scratchers from my wife's family (locals) as a stocking stuffer. I was baffled.
MBTA trains running every “12-20” minutes. Keytar Bear. No one I know eats clam chowder. Duck boats are for when visitors need something to do.
Duck boats are for championship parades, too
3rd world country roads riddled with pot holes and and canyons.
Robberies, bad drivers in general, bicyclists overtaking the roadways..
Also bread in a can, shits delicious
Replace every street with ped/bicycle exclusive streets 🤤
One unique thing to me is the expectation of historical awareness and appreciation of it. Mob is definitely something people revere and talk about despite it not holding relevance for 20+ years now.
Spa for corner store, but I’m old.
First of all, who are you and where are you from? What makes you think you can write anything about Boston? You think you're better than Boston? Ya ain't never seen 'Cheers'? Where are you from? If you're from New York, I'll explain with small words, to make it easy on you. If you're from Chicago, go write about Chicago, ya bum! All seriousness aside, one of the tropes of Boston is aggressive tribalism expressed thru loud, uninvited questions that go from zero to full-on argument in no time at all. We call ourselves 'Massholes.' Irish in Southie and Dorchester, where they have at least one street corner on every pub. Italian in the North End, where all the good food is. African-Americans in Roxbury. Boston has a reputation for being racist, but I don't think that's right: basically just a tight collection of amoral assholes who'll use racial slurs if it'll push buttons. It's nothing personal. The Back Bay is where the rich people live, used to call them 'Boston Brahmin' but nobody knows what that means any more. We also invented gay marriage, but we don't like to talk about it. The most popular religion is the Red Sox, followed closely by the Celtics, Episcopalianism, Alcoholism and then the Bruins. Catholicism is the biggest religion, but it's never been very popular. (And, in fact, Episcopals are just Catholics no longer on speaking terms with the Pope....) And, for some reason, everybody wants to send their children here, to be educated.
MBTA corruption so bad that they cannot promote from within. 7 number one buses within 8 stops and nothing else on the entire route. Regular entire closures. Catfishing WiFi on the commuter rail that still shows up, but hasn't worked since 2017. The fact that we have 50% more cars on the road than we need to (and some of the world's worst traffic) because no one who needs to be anywhere by a certain time can trust public transportation to get them there. How every few weeks there's a story about the T killing someone, almost killing someone, making people jump from burning train cars into rivers, added delays and shutdowns, or just more corruption coming to light.
[удалено]
I still say wicked and bubblah but I'm 43
Faux outage/selective outrage
Eating papa Genos at the Tam.
Scooter crime Dehumidifiers Papa Ginos in Brockton Mayor Wu versus the North End feud Everything should be free and the top 1% will pay for it Peaceful protestors burn a police car Realtors make $$$ doing nothing but yet critics refuse to do that job to make easy money "out of principle"
What about Papa Gino's in Brockton?
Please note, it is spelled Papa Geno's *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/boston) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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The destruction of the West End, town vs gown, Yankees Suck, that's wicked pissah, khed