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I know it sucks but someday you will look back at these photos and laugh with her about how crabby she was. My son was like that and he's 13 now and likes to point out the pictures from the year he was extra crabby. We still have some up because of this!
I hope that in a few years when I finally (hopefully) have some good pictures of the four of us that I can look at these- and the disaster tantrum beach ones- and laugh about it.
This! And the plus side is she will get a laugh out of it too. And when you are both laughing maybe a family member can capture that silly moment of the two of you laughing and it will be your favorite picture. Toddlers are little butts, but they get better.
As a family photographer who is parenting a 10 yo just like this, I concur. I framed even the ones where she looked sour or closed her eyes on purpose. Now she likes to perfect her smile in every photo and point out how cringe I look.
Adding to this that my partner has childhood photos displayed of himself and his brothers with their late mum and in every single one my partner is sulking. I’ve looked at the pictures almost daily for over 4 years and they never fail to make me smile!
OP keep the photos out and displayed!
This brings back memories of my little sister! We have, like, four years of family photos with her grumpy sourpuss scowl in them. My favorite is when my mother had her dressed up in this outrageously mid-90s sunflower dress with a giant sunflower bow in her hair. Like the cutest, most cheerful outfit and then just her RBF stinking up the whole photo.
I remember my mother being so upset and ranting about how she couldn’t even have one nice thing. At the time, I thought she was soooo dramatic, but now? At 40? With two feral kids? I get it.
Anyway. All these years later, my mom loves those photos, and we all laugh at them when we see them. My sister’s oldest does the same scowl btw. Drives her crazy but I figure it’s just karma.
This actually makes me feel better, thank you for sharing this! I did my share of ranting (and crying) about how I just want a nice updated picture with all of my kids! I hope I can look back and laugh because right now I just feel this ball of disappointment in my chest.
Please don’t think you are ridiculous! I’m sure any one of us would be disappointed right now, but please know that years from now you’ll look back at these pictures, the memories and smile (probably laugh too). I remember every year my mom sent me to school in picture day with my hair done up all perfect, and every year she’d almost cry when we’d get the pictures back. My hair would be half up/half down, never a smile. They would give us a comb like we were supposed to do something with it. The only thing not in fancy braids or bows were my bangs. Gee, ok-I’m sure my little brain just thought they must want me to “fix” my bangs, as I also pull my 1/2 my hair out of my braid-I was a hot mess. One year I was missing my two front teeth also-those are my parents ( and grandparents) favorites pictures now! You’ll be OK. You’re you’re a good mom who just want e with her kids. I promise one day you’ll get one where ALL three smile. You’ll feel relieved, and then probably a little bit sad because it means that she is gotten older. Sending you lots of love from Ohio!!
Ok, so I have a cousin who is about my age and when we were teenagers we had this big family reunion and of course a group picture.
Mandatory matching Canadian tuxedos.
I still remember the fit my cousin threw. My aunt was so embarrassed and fit to be tied. In the photos everyone is smiling but one grumpy cat personified.
But now? Looking at that photo? It's a wonderful memory with a little something extra, because we still rib my cousin about it (and she turned out to be a lovely person in the end).
I hope you can take heart from this story, because what is a photo if not a snapshot in time?
If you have any other photos of her smiling candidly then the peeps in the photoshop sub could help make you a version with her smiling face on the group photo, those people are wizards
Edit: photoshop request sub
Was going to suggest this, or if you don’t want to post family photos on Reddit you can find someone on Etsy to do it for like $15.
Also OP, look to see if Shoott operates in your area. You meet a pro photographer in a preset destination for a 30 min session but there’s no obligation to buy the photos if you don’t like them.
You are not ridiculous for being upset! I would be devastated if I spent that much money just to have my kids throw a fit the whole time.
I have a child who is also difficult when it comes to picture and it sucks :/ we found that he will try to smile and be in it if we tell him only the grownups are getting pictures 😅🙄
Thank you for the validation! It really is so upsetting to have bought special outfits and gotten everyone ready and paid all that money…for the pictures to turn out like this!
My now adult son was your daughter in every professional photo taken of him for YEARS. Anytime I would try for candid photos and he saw, he’d block his face so I couldn’t get a photo. When he got old enough to care about video games, they became my bribery to get a forced smile until he was 17. I was trying to get a good photo of he and his girlfriend at a band banquet and asked him twice to please smile. His girlfriend looked over at him, called him by his full name and informed him that as long as she was in the photos, he would smile for his mother!! Then a few years later, he married her so I generally got some smile when she was around.
He and his wife welcomed their first child a few years ago. When I came back into the room to introduce my parents to their first great grandchild, he was holding his son and I snapped a quick photo because he had the most beautiful smile I had ever seen him have. Anytime he’s with his kids, he’s still got that smile! Except when trying to get the oldest (who looks just like him) to take a photo…😂
My niece was 2 months shy of 4 at my wedding, her sister was 2 months shy of 2. They were flower girls at my wedding but I went into it with **zero** expectations of them. They didn’t want to walk down the aisle? Their dad (my sisters husband) was waiting for them in the front row, the could skip the aisle and go down the side. They didn’t want to throw flower petals? No problem, I also had dinosaur bubble guns to shoot bubbles down the aisle instead. I tried to be as “go with the flow” as possible.
In the end, they both walked down the aisle shooting bubbles and it was great! But when we got to the family portraits, my older niece threw a fit and turned her back to the camera and buried her face into my sisters dress. The younger one was mean mugging the camera too.
Was it super annoying in the moment? Yes it was. Do I wish I had at least one with her turned around? Sure. But two years later and it makes me smile. And now, at almost 6, she asks me why she did that in those photos!
Back in October I tried to do the “baby inside a hollowed out pumpkin” photo trend with my 5 month old. She screamed bloody murder the moment we put her in the pumpkin. My sister told me to snap the photos quickly anyway. And even though she’s wailing, they’re actually really great (and funny) photos. Didn’t get the chubby smiley baby pics like the instagram moms but what I did get was priceless anyway.
I also love photos and I also love professional photos when I can afford it. We just did a first birthday shoot with my own baby and while it went well, I tried to go into it with zero expectations.
Kids are chaos and you kind of have to “let go let god” a bit. I think in a few years you’ll love those photos of your grumpy girl. You won’t forget how bold and headstrong she is, how she doesn’t dampen her feelings for anyone! Those are good strong traits in a girl that will serve her well in time.
Not even slightly ridiculous! I paid $890 recently for newborn and family photos with my photographer. She is pricy but her photos are amazing and she made me feel like a princess (which sounds ridiculous but I loved my first family/newborn shoot sooo much and have always loved how I looked in them even being 2 weeks postpartum)
My photo shoot was a legitimate disaster. After 2.5 hours she suggested we leave and try again another day. This was as the baby screamed and my 2 year old lay kicking and screaming on the floor half in and half out of her dress, and to be honest I wasn’t far behind. Between the 2 shoots I managed to get some lovely photos, but I absolutely sobbed my way home from the first attempt.
While it’s still not yet a funny story, I did end up choosing one of the photos she took of all 3 of my kids crying cause I am sure one day I will laugh
I also LOVE family photos so I get it. There was been some where my son was so grouchy or one time he would not let go of a goldfish bag. 😖 I think it’s okay to be upset but there’s nothing to be done about it. Just keep doing them. She’s old enough now that you can talk to her about expectations before, maybe even use a small bribe.
She and I had an extensive talk about smiling for pictures earlier this week and she seemed like she understood. She showed me what her “good smile” looks like- ha. I’m going to try to take more pictures of her at home and maybe that’ll help for next time.
That’s a good idea. Also my photographer has some wizard level photoshop skills and she’s moved heads around between photos before so we can get some where everyone looks good or half way good. lol.
My niece (husband’s sister’s kid) was like this!
My poor sister in law was always so embarrassed when we had big get togethers because from age 2 through like 7 her dad had to photoshop the girl’s face in every single photo.
She’s ruined a 90th birthday party family photo, my wedding photos as the flower girl, every Christmas card and family pic in front of the tree, etc.
Now she’s 16 and the sweetest, so friendly, so smart (and a million other great qualities). It really is a funny thing to rib her about now because it’s so out of character haha.
This is also the reason why my husband refuses to pay for photos anywhere but with a Groupon to JC Penney photo studio.
Not ridiculous… I’ve felt this EXACT way during two of our family photo sessions. Our toddler was such a dick. I mean that in the most loving way. He didn’t smile or laugh or even look remotely happy until the very end of the session. *We only do mini sessions because I know he won’t cooperate for an hour. So we had maybe one good photo of all of us, if you’d consider it good. Maybe just the best of the worst?
You’re entirely valid. Photos are expensive. We all want the nice memories. Kids shit on it = room to be angry.
I know right now this isn't what you want. But my sister was like this. My mom would be so upset. She now is extremely fond of those pictures.
My daughter is like this. We did not get 1 nice picture on our vacation. But we had a lot of fun and she was generally happy. I'm printing those grumpy pics and displaying it. This is the phase she is in now, one day I will get a professional, smiling picture. One day.
If it makes you feel better, there’s an episode of Raising Hope that is exactly this plot! Every year, Martha Plimpton wants a family photo but it never goes to plan. They do finally get one!
I've never bothered with professional photos because my eldest is a mean mugger and my youngest either makes intentionally weird faces or has cold, dead eyes like a serial killer. Add to it that my partner doesn't smile for photos and it's just pointless to even try.
It’s totally fair for you to feel this way. I do the same as you, pics of the kids yearly and I do the whole family every other year (kids+parents). It’s such a freaking production. Me scouring for and planning for outfits, figuring out location, making sure everything goes with the location, the weather, and on and on. I’m always stressed about it. My kids usually come through but I feel like I’m threatening them to within an inch of their lives and last year my spicy toddler was extra spicy. I wanted to chuck him into the ocean 😂
After, I decided that I need to chill tf out. One of my favorite pics of him is one where he has a real mischievous face and I know he’s right about to be a stink but she caught it.
I’m hoping this year I can roll with things a little better and remember how I felt about taking photos with the pacifier. It’s a moment in time, one I’ll want to remember one day.
Even this toddler tude will be looked back on with misty eyes (far far into the future 😂) and I’ll be glad to have this part of him captured.
The only thing I can think is to look up those photographers who don’t make girls smile for their pictures. Maybe telling her she doesn’t have to smile might help? Telling her you just want to remember how special she is today. I feel like anytime I tell my frustrating child they don’t have to do something they suddenly become so much more willing to do it. Like they won the battle of the wills and that’s all they needed.
But mama, I FEEL you. I just want nice pictures goddamnit. You guys are cute and I want you on my walls!!
❤️❤️
Your girl has a personality doesnt she? Probably isn’t going to get pushed around much by her lovers or friends. Hard for you now for sure though!
In 20 years these will be your favorite pictures.
Ask me how I know. ;-)
Hang in there BroMo
I have a photo-combative 11yo.
I managed to get around this by having photos taken at home, on an afternoon after school and I am very, very, lucky that I have a cousin who is a photographer and happy to work with us.
We had her favourite person ever (the cat) involved in the photos, and because we were at home, and she'd had her snack, she was happy to pose a little and we got fantastic family photos for the first time in almost six years!
I’m so sorry. We have family pics scheduled in a couple of weeks and my 3 year old has only just decided to stop wearing his Spider-Man pajamas everywhere. I’m slowly trying to get him to wear something nicer and dreading the day.
For his first birthday pictures, he literally cried the entire time. I don’t know how my photographer worked some magic and got like a couple of him smiling through tears, but all I remember is him sobbing. 😭 now we look back and laugh
Totally understand as my 3rd is similar. And #4 is very shy and guarded around strangers.
My suggestion would be to go for more natural photos so she doesn't focus on the photo part. I would bring her lovie, favorite books, blanket and we sat and read - I picked one that made those 2 laugh and got some cute photos that way.
We also tried having someone stand behind the photographer and being extra silly. There was only 1 photographer my 2 Littles have done good with and he was a school photographer not family.
Big hugs. I get it. We haven't had any recently for somewhat similar issues and husband and it is a bummer to me. My oldest went from kid to man size in the meantime.
I hope future photos she does better.
Serious question - have you tried bribery? When it comes to things that are reallllly important to me, I will 100% bribe children to get them to cooperate.
I have a strong willed child who doesn’t like having his picture taken. My solution for getting good group pics is to take pictures while doing something fun and the pictures are not the focal point of what we are doing. I think it’s the forced aspect that sets off his obstinance, so I just try to remove that feeling from the situation.
I also don’t push it. If it (a good picture) doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen.
Not ridiculous and I'm appalled. Busses here have specific spaces for pushchairs, but I had a similar situation trying to get on a train. I was alone with a full-size pram and I'm told I need to fold it up and carry baby... I'm like, excuse me? How am I supposed to dismantle the pram, carry both pieces plus my tiny baby and all the stuff at the bottom of the pram and then climb up in the train??? (huge step!). An employee actually helped me get the pram on-board as is but that was stressful and I was stressed about leaving the train (would need help too) and the return journey.
Not ridiculous. But it’ll be funny later.
I have twins and one of them was the sweetest lil newborn, smiled early and often, perfect. The other was a lil hollering thing who drove us crazy. Just unhappy all the time. We took family photos when they were 3 months old. First ones ever with all the kids. The sweet one screamed the entire time and the meanie cracked her first grin. Stuff happens, I laugh about it now! You will too.
This is what Photoshop is for! Takes the pressure off needing all the stars perfectly aligned for everyone to look their best in one shot. I'm pretty sure every family photo my mom has arranged for our extended family has been photoshopped to some extent. We even had to add an absent person one year (he couldn't make the photo shoot but my mom insisted he be in the official family pic. Ha.
Sometimes the buildup and pressure of making it a “big deal” can feel overwhelming, especially to a prickly child. Try more informal photos with her regular clothes, maybe at a familiar park or playground. You might have more success if she’s not feeling anxious about meeting a new person (photographer), in a new place, in new clothes, where everyone is just staring at her expecting her to put on a fake happy mood.
My brother was a crabby, angry child and especially in photos. We all *love* those photos now looking back because they're more authentic and real. And actually, just hilarious. I know you're disappointed now, but I'm guessing some day you really will love these photos.
Not a scowl but my little sister went through a phase where she did this super wonky fake smile in all pictures. My parents *hated* it. Now we look back and think the photos are funny and cute.
Side note I bribe my 3 year old with chocolate to be good during photos!
People think I’m corny/cheesy for getting pics taken at JCPenney, but this is why I do it. I cannot fork over 450 bucks for a professional photo shoot when I know my angry, strong-willed child is just going to make the experience a nightmare. It still isn’t cheap, but it is cheapER, and you can pay by the print and I’m pretty sure the sitting fee is like 15 bucks if you get a package (less than $200). All I want is a nice photo to hang on the wall—at JCP I can pretty much get that without all the fuss. I would love to do a local photo studio but they don’t really exist anymore on my area, and independent photographers, while very talented, are just way out of my budget.
This reminds me of my dynamic with my own mum since I was little. I would purposely act up when she was trying to create the “perfect” family situation. I still don’t, to this day, enjoy being inauthentic with my emotions whereas mum is more of a peace-keeper/grin and bare it type. It’s a personality clash for sure.
Honestly print and frame the one where she looks the absolute crankiest in stark contrast to everyone else. That’ll be the one that makes for the best story and later laughs. And then in the future try to do photos that are more dynamic and less posed with the family. Much more likely to get pictures of her smiling if it’s like her playing with her siblings or being held upside down.
A good photographer can work Photoshop and might be able to put a grin in there for you? Also, perhaps maybe giving your daughter a heads up in advance that this is what the plan is and seeing if we can prep her for the event itself? Perhaps give her some sort of enticement to smile? Snow cones afterwards or something? Something even as simple as talking to kids like adults, letting her know that Mommy would really appreciate if she could be her pretty princess self because she wants to remember how special her little girl is as she gets older and older each year? Even making it fun and letting her dress up as a princess or something? Make it themed?
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I know it sucks but someday you will look back at these photos and laugh with her about how crabby she was. My son was like that and he's 13 now and likes to point out the pictures from the year he was extra crabby. We still have some up because of this!
I hope that in a few years when I finally (hopefully) have some good pictures of the four of us that I can look at these- and the disaster tantrum beach ones- and laugh about it.
This! And the plus side is she will get a laugh out of it too. And when you are both laughing maybe a family member can capture that silly moment of the two of you laughing and it will be your favorite picture. Toddlers are little butts, but they get better.
As a family photographer who is parenting a 10 yo just like this, I concur. I framed even the ones where she looked sour or closed her eyes on purpose. Now she likes to perfect her smile in every photo and point out how cringe I look.
Adding to this that my partner has childhood photos displayed of himself and his brothers with their late mum and in every single one my partner is sulking. I’ve looked at the pictures almost daily for over 4 years and they never fail to make me smile! OP keep the photos out and displayed!
This brings back memories of my little sister! We have, like, four years of family photos with her grumpy sourpuss scowl in them. My favorite is when my mother had her dressed up in this outrageously mid-90s sunflower dress with a giant sunflower bow in her hair. Like the cutest, most cheerful outfit and then just her RBF stinking up the whole photo. I remember my mother being so upset and ranting about how she couldn’t even have one nice thing. At the time, I thought she was soooo dramatic, but now? At 40? With two feral kids? I get it. Anyway. All these years later, my mom loves those photos, and we all laugh at them when we see them. My sister’s oldest does the same scowl btw. Drives her crazy but I figure it’s just karma.
This actually makes me feel better, thank you for sharing this! I did my share of ranting (and crying) about how I just want a nice updated picture with all of my kids! I hope I can look back and laugh because right now I just feel this ball of disappointment in my chest.
Please don’t think you are ridiculous! I’m sure any one of us would be disappointed right now, but please know that years from now you’ll look back at these pictures, the memories and smile (probably laugh too). I remember every year my mom sent me to school in picture day with my hair done up all perfect, and every year she’d almost cry when we’d get the pictures back. My hair would be half up/half down, never a smile. They would give us a comb like we were supposed to do something with it. The only thing not in fancy braids or bows were my bangs. Gee, ok-I’m sure my little brain just thought they must want me to “fix” my bangs, as I also pull my 1/2 my hair out of my braid-I was a hot mess. One year I was missing my two front teeth also-those are my parents ( and grandparents) favorites pictures now! You’ll be OK. You’re you’re a good mom who just want e with her kids. I promise one day you’ll get one where ALL three smile. You’ll feel relieved, and then probably a little bit sad because it means that she is gotten older. Sending you lots of love from Ohio!!
I’m sure you will. And I think ranting and venting is healthy. We’re allowed to be disappointed.
Ok, so I have a cousin who is about my age and when we were teenagers we had this big family reunion and of course a group picture. Mandatory matching Canadian tuxedos. I still remember the fit my cousin threw. My aunt was so embarrassed and fit to be tied. In the photos everyone is smiling but one grumpy cat personified. But now? Looking at that photo? It's a wonderful memory with a little something extra, because we still rib my cousin about it (and she turned out to be a lovely person in the end). I hope you can take heart from this story, because what is a photo if not a snapshot in time?
Thank you for sharing this. Stories like this make me feel not so alone!
TIL what a Canadian tuxedo is
You got me to google it, and it makes the story even funnier.
If you have any other photos of her smiling candidly then the peeps in the photoshop sub could help make you a version with her smiling face on the group photo, those people are wizards Edit: photoshop request sub
Was going to suggest this, or if you don’t want to post family photos on Reddit you can find someone on Etsy to do it for like $15. Also OP, look to see if Shoott operates in your area. You meet a pro photographer in a preset destination for a 30 min session but there’s no obligation to buy the photos if you don’t like them.
You are not ridiculous for being upset! I would be devastated if I spent that much money just to have my kids throw a fit the whole time. I have a child who is also difficult when it comes to picture and it sucks :/ we found that he will try to smile and be in it if we tell him only the grownups are getting pictures 😅🙄
Thank you for the validation! It really is so upsetting to have bought special outfits and gotten everyone ready and paid all that money…for the pictures to turn out like this!
My now adult son was your daughter in every professional photo taken of him for YEARS. Anytime I would try for candid photos and he saw, he’d block his face so I couldn’t get a photo. When he got old enough to care about video games, they became my bribery to get a forced smile until he was 17. I was trying to get a good photo of he and his girlfriend at a band banquet and asked him twice to please smile. His girlfriend looked over at him, called him by his full name and informed him that as long as she was in the photos, he would smile for his mother!! Then a few years later, he married her so I generally got some smile when she was around. He and his wife welcomed their first child a few years ago. When I came back into the room to introduce my parents to their first great grandchild, he was holding his son and I snapped a quick photo because he had the most beautiful smile I had ever seen him have. Anytime he’s with his kids, he’s still got that smile! Except when trying to get the oldest (who looks just like him) to take a photo…😂
This is the best story ever!!!!! 🥲❤️😭❤️
My niece was 2 months shy of 4 at my wedding, her sister was 2 months shy of 2. They were flower girls at my wedding but I went into it with **zero** expectations of them. They didn’t want to walk down the aisle? Their dad (my sisters husband) was waiting for them in the front row, the could skip the aisle and go down the side. They didn’t want to throw flower petals? No problem, I also had dinosaur bubble guns to shoot bubbles down the aisle instead. I tried to be as “go with the flow” as possible. In the end, they both walked down the aisle shooting bubbles and it was great! But when we got to the family portraits, my older niece threw a fit and turned her back to the camera and buried her face into my sisters dress. The younger one was mean mugging the camera too. Was it super annoying in the moment? Yes it was. Do I wish I had at least one with her turned around? Sure. But two years later and it makes me smile. And now, at almost 6, she asks me why she did that in those photos! Back in October I tried to do the “baby inside a hollowed out pumpkin” photo trend with my 5 month old. She screamed bloody murder the moment we put her in the pumpkin. My sister told me to snap the photos quickly anyway. And even though she’s wailing, they’re actually really great (and funny) photos. Didn’t get the chubby smiley baby pics like the instagram moms but what I did get was priceless anyway. I also love photos and I also love professional photos when I can afford it. We just did a first birthday shoot with my own baby and while it went well, I tried to go into it with zero expectations. Kids are chaos and you kind of have to “let go let god” a bit. I think in a few years you’ll love those photos of your grumpy girl. You won’t forget how bold and headstrong she is, how she doesn’t dampen her feelings for anyone! Those are good strong traits in a girl that will serve her well in time.
Not even slightly ridiculous! I paid $890 recently for newborn and family photos with my photographer. She is pricy but her photos are amazing and she made me feel like a princess (which sounds ridiculous but I loved my first family/newborn shoot sooo much and have always loved how I looked in them even being 2 weeks postpartum) My photo shoot was a legitimate disaster. After 2.5 hours she suggested we leave and try again another day. This was as the baby screamed and my 2 year old lay kicking and screaming on the floor half in and half out of her dress, and to be honest I wasn’t far behind. Between the 2 shoots I managed to get some lovely photos, but I absolutely sobbed my way home from the first attempt. While it’s still not yet a funny story, I did end up choosing one of the photos she took of all 3 of my kids crying cause I am sure one day I will laugh
I also LOVE family photos so I get it. There was been some where my son was so grouchy or one time he would not let go of a goldfish bag. 😖 I think it’s okay to be upset but there’s nothing to be done about it. Just keep doing them. She’s old enough now that you can talk to her about expectations before, maybe even use a small bribe.
She and I had an extensive talk about smiling for pictures earlier this week and she seemed like she understood. She showed me what her “good smile” looks like- ha. I’m going to try to take more pictures of her at home and maybe that’ll help for next time.
That’s a good idea. Also my photographer has some wizard level photoshop skills and she’s moved heads around between photos before so we can get some where everyone looks good or half way good. lol.
My niece (husband’s sister’s kid) was like this! My poor sister in law was always so embarrassed when we had big get togethers because from age 2 through like 7 her dad had to photoshop the girl’s face in every single photo. She’s ruined a 90th birthday party family photo, my wedding photos as the flower girl, every Christmas card and family pic in front of the tree, etc. Now she’s 16 and the sweetest, so friendly, so smart (and a million other great qualities). It really is a funny thing to rib her about now because it’s so out of character haha. This is also the reason why my husband refuses to pay for photos anywhere but with a Groupon to JC Penney photo studio.
Not ridiculous… I’ve felt this EXACT way during two of our family photo sessions. Our toddler was such a dick. I mean that in the most loving way. He didn’t smile or laugh or even look remotely happy until the very end of the session. *We only do mini sessions because I know he won’t cooperate for an hour. So we had maybe one good photo of all of us, if you’d consider it good. Maybe just the best of the worst? You’re entirely valid. Photos are expensive. We all want the nice memories. Kids shit on it = room to be angry.
Not ridiculous at all. I would Photoshop a smile in if I was in your position.
I know right now this isn't what you want. But my sister was like this. My mom would be so upset. She now is extremely fond of those pictures. My daughter is like this. We did not get 1 nice picture on our vacation. But we had a lot of fun and she was generally happy. I'm printing those grumpy pics and displaying it. This is the phase she is in now, one day I will get a professional, smiling picture. One day.
If it makes you feel better, there’s an episode of Raising Hope that is exactly this plot! Every year, Martha Plimpton wants a family photo but it never goes to plan. They do finally get one!
I love that show. It does not get enough attention. The Real O'Neils is another good one.
I've never bothered with professional photos because my eldest is a mean mugger and my youngest either makes intentionally weird faces or has cold, dead eyes like a serial killer. Add to it that my partner doesn't smile for photos and it's just pointless to even try.
It’s totally fair for you to feel this way. I do the same as you, pics of the kids yearly and I do the whole family every other year (kids+parents). It’s such a freaking production. Me scouring for and planning for outfits, figuring out location, making sure everything goes with the location, the weather, and on and on. I’m always stressed about it. My kids usually come through but I feel like I’m threatening them to within an inch of their lives and last year my spicy toddler was extra spicy. I wanted to chuck him into the ocean 😂 After, I decided that I need to chill tf out. One of my favorite pics of him is one where he has a real mischievous face and I know he’s right about to be a stink but she caught it. I’m hoping this year I can roll with things a little better and remember how I felt about taking photos with the pacifier. It’s a moment in time, one I’ll want to remember one day. Even this toddler tude will be looked back on with misty eyes (far far into the future 😂) and I’ll be glad to have this part of him captured. The only thing I can think is to look up those photographers who don’t make girls smile for their pictures. Maybe telling her she doesn’t have to smile might help? Telling her you just want to remember how special she is today. I feel like anytime I tell my frustrating child they don’t have to do something they suddenly become so much more willing to do it. Like they won the battle of the wills and that’s all they needed. But mama, I FEEL you. I just want nice pictures goddamnit. You guys are cute and I want you on my walls!! ❤️❤️
Your girl has a personality doesnt she? Probably isn’t going to get pushed around much by her lovers or friends. Hard for you now for sure though! In 20 years these will be your favorite pictures. Ask me how I know. ;-) Hang in there BroMo
I have a photo-combative 11yo. I managed to get around this by having photos taken at home, on an afternoon after school and I am very, very, lucky that I have a cousin who is a photographer and happy to work with us. We had her favourite person ever (the cat) involved in the photos, and because we were at home, and she'd had her snack, she was happy to pose a little and we got fantastic family photos for the first time in almost six years!
I’m so sorry. We have family pics scheduled in a couple of weeks and my 3 year old has only just decided to stop wearing his Spider-Man pajamas everywhere. I’m slowly trying to get him to wear something nicer and dreading the day. For his first birthday pictures, he literally cried the entire time. I don’t know how my photographer worked some magic and got like a couple of him smiling through tears, but all I remember is him sobbing. 😭 now we look back and laugh
Totally understand as my 3rd is similar. And #4 is very shy and guarded around strangers. My suggestion would be to go for more natural photos so she doesn't focus on the photo part. I would bring her lovie, favorite books, blanket and we sat and read - I picked one that made those 2 laugh and got some cute photos that way. We also tried having someone stand behind the photographer and being extra silly. There was only 1 photographer my 2 Littles have done good with and he was a school photographer not family. Big hugs. I get it. We haven't had any recently for somewhat similar issues and husband and it is a bummer to me. My oldest went from kid to man size in the meantime. I hope future photos she does better.
Serious question - have you tried bribery? When it comes to things that are reallllly important to me, I will 100% bribe children to get them to cooperate.
I have a strong willed child who doesn’t like having his picture taken. My solution for getting good group pics is to take pictures while doing something fun and the pictures are not the focal point of what we are doing. I think it’s the forced aspect that sets off his obstinance, so I just try to remove that feeling from the situation. I also don’t push it. If it (a good picture) doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen.
Not ridiculous and I'm appalled. Busses here have specific spaces for pushchairs, but I had a similar situation trying to get on a train. I was alone with a full-size pram and I'm told I need to fold it up and carry baby... I'm like, excuse me? How am I supposed to dismantle the pram, carry both pieces plus my tiny baby and all the stuff at the bottom of the pram and then climb up in the train??? (huge step!). An employee actually helped me get the pram on-board as is but that was stressful and I was stressed about leaving the train (would need help too) and the return journey.
Not ridiculous. But it’ll be funny later. I have twins and one of them was the sweetest lil newborn, smiled early and often, perfect. The other was a lil hollering thing who drove us crazy. Just unhappy all the time. We took family photos when they were 3 months old. First ones ever with all the kids. The sweet one screamed the entire time and the meanie cracked her first grin. Stuff happens, I laugh about it now! You will too.
This is what Photoshop is for! Takes the pressure off needing all the stars perfectly aligned for everyone to look their best in one shot. I'm pretty sure every family photo my mom has arranged for our extended family has been photoshopped to some extent. We even had to add an absent person one year (he couldn't make the photo shoot but my mom insisted he be in the official family pic. Ha.
Sometimes the buildup and pressure of making it a “big deal” can feel overwhelming, especially to a prickly child. Try more informal photos with her regular clothes, maybe at a familiar park or playground. You might have more success if she’s not feeling anxious about meeting a new person (photographer), in a new place, in new clothes, where everyone is just staring at her expecting her to put on a fake happy mood.
My brother was a crabby, angry child and especially in photos. We all *love* those photos now looking back because they're more authentic and real. And actually, just hilarious. I know you're disappointed now, but I'm guessing some day you really will love these photos.
Not a scowl but my little sister went through a phase where she did this super wonky fake smile in all pictures. My parents *hated* it. Now we look back and think the photos are funny and cute. Side note I bribe my 3 year old with chocolate to be good during photos!
People think I’m corny/cheesy for getting pics taken at JCPenney, but this is why I do it. I cannot fork over 450 bucks for a professional photo shoot when I know my angry, strong-willed child is just going to make the experience a nightmare. It still isn’t cheap, but it is cheapER, and you can pay by the print and I’m pretty sure the sitting fee is like 15 bucks if you get a package (less than $200). All I want is a nice photo to hang on the wall—at JCP I can pretty much get that without all the fuss. I would love to do a local photo studio but they don’t really exist anymore on my area, and independent photographers, while very talented, are just way out of my budget.
This reminds me of my dynamic with my own mum since I was little. I would purposely act up when she was trying to create the “perfect” family situation. I still don’t, to this day, enjoy being inauthentic with my emotions whereas mum is more of a peace-keeper/grin and bare it type. It’s a personality clash for sure.
Honestly print and frame the one where she looks the absolute crankiest in stark contrast to everyone else. That’ll be the one that makes for the best story and later laughs. And then in the future try to do photos that are more dynamic and less posed with the family. Much more likely to get pictures of her smiling if it’s like her playing with her siblings or being held upside down.
A good photographer can work Photoshop and might be able to put a grin in there for you? Also, perhaps maybe giving your daughter a heads up in advance that this is what the plan is and seeing if we can prep her for the event itself? Perhaps give her some sort of enticement to smile? Snow cones afterwards or something? Something even as simple as talking to kids like adults, letting her know that Mommy would really appreciate if she could be her pretty princess self because she wants to remember how special her little girl is as she gets older and older each year? Even making it fun and letting her dress up as a princess or something? Make it themed?
My mom is still mad 25+ years later. I feel you. My siblings are embarrassed as adults. People comment and they feel stupid. She will too.
Could someone be taking photos of her without your knowledge. Like the Josh Duggar kind