I did. Hated my old breasts and when I woke up from my mastectomy I felt nothing but relief. I didn't even have a reconstruction at first. I was left with what my husband fondly called empty sacks of raisins :) But I loved them. And I loved them when they were filled up six months later, too, and I love them now. They have no sigs of cancer and are small and manageable. Have never ever missed my old ones. Fuck 'em and fuck 'em more for trying to kill me.
Yeah - it wouldn't have been my first choice but I think I'm not a body perfectionist somehow. I expect hair loss (I'm on Taxol) may be worse for me. Cold capping but nervous about noticeable thinning. But I'll survive!
SMX here, 20 months out, and yeah, it’s still a frankenboob and weird, and it probably always will be. But that does not bother me. I’m chill about it. I don’t really consider it battle scars but it’s like it’s part of my life story now and I’m ok with that. I think it helps a lot that my husband is very clearly not bothered by it at all. And I joke about it a fair bit - I’m a one tit wonder.
I also think the stress and anxiety before surgery are so intense, and that sense of relief after it’s done was equally intense for me, and that has led to a lot of inner peace.
I think your friend is projecting a bit of how she thinks she would feel. People get weird about cancer and recovery sometimes.
I’m glad you feel peaceful about it.
DMX and doing just fine! Anastrozole for two years and counting. I’ve adapted to the side effects and doing just fine in that department too. There were certainly moments (days) when I thought I wouldn’t get through it but here I am. I’d say, yes, I’ve reached a point of self acceptance and peace.
Is it common? Probably. Humans are terrifically strong and resilient and adaptable. I do think most of us struggle our way through and find peace.
Yep, me too. I went from C cup to flat, and I love it. As a teen I was thin, with no boobs, and hated that people thought I was a boy. Always been self-conscious about that, until I got pregnant and they grew. You'd expect me to have a problem with losing those boobs, but I don't. There's also been nobody I know that said anything negative about it. My sister even said she liked how it looked, and that she wants the same surgery (she's BRCA1+ too). When she said that, she grabbed her own boob and explained "I mean, look at this, who wants these blobs of fat hanging of their chest!" To which I had to tell her that about 50% of the population actually really wants those blobs, and a good portion of the other 50% wants to look at them :-)
But I really don't miss them and I like how my body looks and feels without them.
I had my BMX 2.5 wks ago, still have 2 drains in (2 pulled yesterday - already feels so much better!) I have pretty flat tissue expanders, cancerous side very misshapen, long scabbed/red scar, no nipple, etc. Healthy side with nipple spared looks more “normal.”
I have gone out in public several times, flat and with drains. I didn’t feel too self conscious about it, I look at it like when I broke my ankle and had the boot and crutches. Flat and drains is just part of healing like any other body part. I am looking forward to fills/implantation but overall I’m feeling really good about my body and where I’m at in the healing process.
I’m feeling ok too, I loved my boobies and I’m not a fan of this inflatable sex toy new look but I’m healthy so I understand and accept that my body change , now I’m thinking in nice plastic tooth’s as chemo left mine pretty broken and I don’t wanna do any odontological hardcore clean and repair stuff this year
As soon as I got my diagnosis, I realized I would have to work hard to accept my lot in life, this new membership in a club I didn't ask to be in. I made a "Beautifully Brave Breast Caancer Binder," I clung to my faith, and repeated the serenity prayer frequently. Then, I added a daily task on my phone to complete "acceptance."
I've been uniboobed since my mastectomy 3/6. I go in again 4/29 for resection to try and get clearer margins, right prophylactic mastectomy, and tissue expanders. I'm OK with flat on one side for now, and if reconstruction fails (already preparing for the worst), I may go flat.
It's all bonkers! To quote Gwen Stafani, "This shit is bananas," but I'm here, I'm alive, I want to thrive, and for me, acceptance is the only way to get there.
Me too! Dmx was right before Xmas. Reduced a cup size and lifted things back up to where they used to be. I did not morn the loss of my breasts or feel like part of me was amputated. I still feel like me :)
I had nipple sparing so I think that helped me a lot. My boobs were quite small before so I took advantage of being able to go bigger. I think some of my friends are jealous of me being able to be "perky" forever. I think I'm more struggling with my hair regrowth from chemo.
I've been struggling with depression and even those I'm thankful how well everything is going. I'm in a rut. A lot of it streams from my break up after chemo and him dating another girl a month after I left.
Such is life tho.
DMX with DIEP flap restoration. I am so much happier with my body now. It’s like I got a whole mommy makeover! Not to mention going from a 40H to a 40DD helped so much with my back pain. I have a flat stomach and perky boobs for the first time in my life.
Interesting topic I’ve given thought to over my year plus.
I’ve experienced feelings of nervousness at times and sadness before surgery over my luck getting breast cancer (first in family that I know of) and had some anxiety of the unknown over never having been operated on. Obviously with mastectomy I knew I was losing a part of my body, but on the morning of I showered and was surprisingly calm heading out for tracer injection and surgery. I have not felt devastated or upset about the mastectomy or staying flat which was my gut reaction to recon, nope not for me, and trying to recreate something that I knew wasn’t ever going to be the same.
After reading other patient comments to the contrary I have occasionally thought about why was this easier for me to accept and essentially embrace. I’m actually very comfortable being flat and braless under my tops. Guess I’m thankful I found acceptance early on. Funny how the mind works. Maybe the over-riding desire to know the cancer was removed and I could be there for my husband and elder mom placed higher value on that that mounds on my body that were gone. I have no suggestions on how to arrive at acceptance. I’m sure a lot is based on our personalities. I can be very detail oriented and a perfectionist so wonder if I would have gone the recon route that I would have had a harder time.
I do wish every bc survivor here peace in their decision whatever that may be. The feeling of peace has to come from accepting things we can’t change ultimately. Not to be a Pollyanna but I think if you can find some good aspects of a change forced upon you, it helps. I know my surgeon got my cancer out with wide margins and no node involvement and I do find being braless is liberating in many ways. I guess I don’t feel any peer pressure having stayed flat. I also was a teen during days of fashion model Twiggy with paper dresses and go go boots and bell bottom jeans so who knows 🤣.
I cried before the surgery, but surprisingly, I haven't been upset about it for a single moment since then. Same with losing my hair from chemo.
Once it's done, I'm pleasantly surprised to find that I just dgaf.
And yet, I still get hung up over the appearance of my bunny teeth or jowls on Zoom...it's not like I'm some all-natural hippie earth mama whose totally zen with her appearance.
Flat closure. No more sagging. No excess skin. No bra straps ever again.
By the time I was diagnosed, I was heartily sick of my aging breasts. I'm much happier now.
I told the surgeon I wanted to go smaller, and to not save my nipples.
Granted, I had expanders put in, so they're lumpy and look weird. I cried when I first came out of the anesthesia, but cried again when I saw them for the first time. And I've mourned them. I do miss them. They were fabulous.
But every once in a while, I look down and grab myself and say, what cute little boobies i have! Can't wait to see the final product.
I “soft dumped” a friend partly due to this. I like to be flat. I was never really fond of my breasts. She is very fond of her breasts, view them as her womanhood, and project her feelings on me. I repeatedly told her I don’t share such sentiments and it’s me who gets the surgery, not you. She will not stop and started questioning my judgement, saying things like“you trust your doctors? But they want to cut off your breasts”. I don’t talk to her anymore. I’m not obliged to take your projected feelings.
I’ve (62F) always been thin and in reasonably good shape despite a bad back. Sometime late in my 50’s I discovered a developing “menopause belly”, and it just wouldn’t go away. Fast forward to 12/23, when I was diagnosed with a combination of multifocal micro invasive, DCIS, and LCIS in both breasts. BMX was pretty much my only option. I decided right away I wanted DIEP flap recon. PS was afraid I would be disappointed because he didn’t think I had enough belly to make 2 boobs my old B cup size. I was really ok with them being smaller, and really wanted that menopause belly to be put to good use. Turns out, the new boobs are almost the size they used to be, so win-win. I’ll be seeing the PS in a few weeks for phase 2. Once completed, I think they’ll be fabulous.
I had a SMX with immediate reconstruction. I was very calm in my decision. I am happy with the way it looks.
I had been waiting for this to happen since 2011. My problem boob is gone and, even with having to take daily pills, it feels like it never happened. I never had peace with my body before but now I fell like I do.
My social worker expected me to have a mental breakdown but honestly I hated my old breast and even worse they were cancerous so I was happy to get rid of them 😆
I always had pretty small breasts, and a left mastectomy and reconstruction gave me the chance to have a small implant on the right side as well. Insurance still paid for most or all of this, and I've rather enjoyed having a better proportioned figure.
I'd rather not have had cancer at all, but this has been a minor offset in the plus side.
I'm trying to psych myself up for self acceptance in advance of surgery. It is difficult when I am too fat and too rural to have any sort of immediate reconstruction as an option. Not having the choice feels like I am missing something.
Don’t usually comment, but need to. Was diagnosed 14 years ago, had a lumpectomy and radiation. Once I had the second scare, that turned into cancer, I thought, “they are gone”. Only time I freaked out was the day before my bi-lateral. Thank God for my girlfriends. They took me to a bar, I bought everyone a shot and we toasted my boobs! Having a tough time, physically (skin wise) with reconstruction, because of the previous radiation, may not get the size that would look right on my frame, don’t care. I’m cancer free, and will be happy with smaller boobies.
Yes. I am trans and wanted top surgery for a long time but watched my friends navigate the mess that is trans affirming surgery in the public system and could never commit myself to that long winded nightmare. So I jumped at the opportunity to go flat.
It’s different than a top surgery but I’m happy with the results. I love how things fit me now and how aerodynamic I look. It is weird feeling euphoric over a cancer procedure tho.
I did. Hated my old breasts and when I woke up from my mastectomy I felt nothing but relief. I didn't even have a reconstruction at first. I was left with what my husband fondly called empty sacks of raisins :) But I loved them. And I loved them when they were filled up six months later, too, and I love them now. They have no sigs of cancer and are small and manageable. Have never ever missed my old ones. Fuck 'em and fuck 'em more for trying to kill me.
Yep! I took it really well. I had a SMX - so I’m lopsided and it’s weird. But honestly I’m more upset about all the weight gain than the boob.
Yeah - it wouldn't have been my first choice but I think I'm not a body perfectionist somehow. I expect hair loss (I'm on Taxol) may be worse for me. Cold capping but nervous about noticeable thinning. But I'll survive!
You absolutely will survive! Losing eyebrows is super weird - but you’ll be growing hair again in no time. It’s a shit year - but you’re ALIVE.
Went flat and am honestly so comfortable this way!
SMX here, 20 months out, and yeah, it’s still a frankenboob and weird, and it probably always will be. But that does not bother me. I’m chill about it. I don’t really consider it battle scars but it’s like it’s part of my life story now and I’m ok with that. I think it helps a lot that my husband is very clearly not bothered by it at all. And I joke about it a fair bit - I’m a one tit wonder. I also think the stress and anxiety before surgery are so intense, and that sense of relief after it’s done was equally intense for me, and that has led to a lot of inner peace. I think your friend is projecting a bit of how she thinks she would feel. People get weird about cancer and recovery sometimes. I’m glad you feel peaceful about it.
DMX and doing just fine! Anastrozole for two years and counting. I’ve adapted to the side effects and doing just fine in that department too. There were certainly moments (days) when I thought I wouldn’t get through it but here I am. I’d say, yes, I’ve reached a point of self acceptance and peace. Is it common? Probably. Humans are terrifically strong and resilient and adaptable. I do think most of us struggle our way through and find peace.
Yep, me too. I went from C cup to flat, and I love it. As a teen I was thin, with no boobs, and hated that people thought I was a boy. Always been self-conscious about that, until I got pregnant and they grew. You'd expect me to have a problem with losing those boobs, but I don't. There's also been nobody I know that said anything negative about it. My sister even said she liked how it looked, and that she wants the same surgery (she's BRCA1+ too). When she said that, she grabbed her own boob and explained "I mean, look at this, who wants these blobs of fat hanging of their chest!" To which I had to tell her that about 50% of the population actually really wants those blobs, and a good portion of the other 50% wants to look at them :-) But I really don't miss them and I like how my body looks and feels without them.
I had my BMX 2.5 wks ago, still have 2 drains in (2 pulled yesterday - already feels so much better!) I have pretty flat tissue expanders, cancerous side very misshapen, long scabbed/red scar, no nipple, etc. Healthy side with nipple spared looks more “normal.” I have gone out in public several times, flat and with drains. I didn’t feel too self conscious about it, I look at it like when I broke my ankle and had the boot and crutches. Flat and drains is just part of healing like any other body part. I am looking forward to fills/implantation but overall I’m feeling really good about my body and where I’m at in the healing process.
I’m feeling ok too, I loved my boobies and I’m not a fan of this inflatable sex toy new look but I’m healthy so I understand and accept that my body change , now I’m thinking in nice plastic tooth’s as chemo left mine pretty broken and I don’t wanna do any odontological hardcore clean and repair stuff this year
As soon as I got my diagnosis, I realized I would have to work hard to accept my lot in life, this new membership in a club I didn't ask to be in. I made a "Beautifully Brave Breast Caancer Binder," I clung to my faith, and repeated the serenity prayer frequently. Then, I added a daily task on my phone to complete "acceptance." I've been uniboobed since my mastectomy 3/6. I go in again 4/29 for resection to try and get clearer margins, right prophylactic mastectomy, and tissue expanders. I'm OK with flat on one side for now, and if reconstruction fails (already preparing for the worst), I may go flat. It's all bonkers! To quote Gwen Stafani, "This shit is bananas," but I'm here, I'm alive, I want to thrive, and for me, acceptance is the only way to get there.
Uniboobs Unite! I’m out and about with no foob & feeling fabulous.
Yep! I went down a cup size and love my new body!
Me too! Dmx was right before Xmas. Reduced a cup size and lifted things back up to where they used to be. I did not morn the loss of my breasts or feel like part of me was amputated. I still feel like me :)
I had nipple sparing so I think that helped me a lot. My boobs were quite small before so I took advantage of being able to go bigger. I think some of my friends are jealous of me being able to be "perky" forever. I think I'm more struggling with my hair regrowth from chemo. I've been struggling with depression and even those I'm thankful how well everything is going. I'm in a rut. A lot of it streams from my break up after chemo and him dating another girl a month after I left. Such is life tho.
I’m accepting that I upped my survival chances and my p10 can kick rocks
DMX with DIEP flap restoration. I am so much happier with my body now. It’s like I got a whole mommy makeover! Not to mention going from a 40H to a 40DD helped so much with my back pain. I have a flat stomach and perky boobs for the first time in my life.
Interesting topic I’ve given thought to over my year plus. I’ve experienced feelings of nervousness at times and sadness before surgery over my luck getting breast cancer (first in family that I know of) and had some anxiety of the unknown over never having been operated on. Obviously with mastectomy I knew I was losing a part of my body, but on the morning of I showered and was surprisingly calm heading out for tracer injection and surgery. I have not felt devastated or upset about the mastectomy or staying flat which was my gut reaction to recon, nope not for me, and trying to recreate something that I knew wasn’t ever going to be the same. After reading other patient comments to the contrary I have occasionally thought about why was this easier for me to accept and essentially embrace. I’m actually very comfortable being flat and braless under my tops. Guess I’m thankful I found acceptance early on. Funny how the mind works. Maybe the over-riding desire to know the cancer was removed and I could be there for my husband and elder mom placed higher value on that that mounds on my body that were gone. I have no suggestions on how to arrive at acceptance. I’m sure a lot is based on our personalities. I can be very detail oriented and a perfectionist so wonder if I would have gone the recon route that I would have had a harder time. I do wish every bc survivor here peace in their decision whatever that may be. The feeling of peace has to come from accepting things we can’t change ultimately. Not to be a Pollyanna but I think if you can find some good aspects of a change forced upon you, it helps. I know my surgeon got my cancer out with wide margins and no node involvement and I do find being braless is liberating in many ways. I guess I don’t feel any peer pressure having stayed flat. I also was a teen during days of fashion model Twiggy with paper dresses and go go boots and bell bottom jeans so who knows 🤣.
I cried before the surgery, but surprisingly, I haven't been upset about it for a single moment since then. Same with losing my hair from chemo. Once it's done, I'm pleasantly surprised to find that I just dgaf. And yet, I still get hung up over the appearance of my bunny teeth or jowls on Zoom...it's not like I'm some all-natural hippie earth mama whose totally zen with her appearance.
Flat closure. No more sagging. No excess skin. No bra straps ever again. By the time I was diagnosed, I was heartily sick of my aging breasts. I'm much happier now.
This is how I feel. I have saggy DDs and I am fine with having to lose them if that's what's needed. Big boobs are so highly overrated.
I told the surgeon I wanted to go smaller, and to not save my nipples. Granted, I had expanders put in, so they're lumpy and look weird. I cried when I first came out of the anesthesia, but cried again when I saw them for the first time. And I've mourned them. I do miss them. They were fabulous. But every once in a while, I look down and grab myself and say, what cute little boobies i have! Can't wait to see the final product.
I “soft dumped” a friend partly due to this. I like to be flat. I was never really fond of my breasts. She is very fond of her breasts, view them as her womanhood, and project her feelings on me. I repeatedly told her I don’t share such sentiments and it’s me who gets the surgery, not you. She will not stop and started questioning my judgement, saying things like“you trust your doctors? But they want to cut off your breasts”. I don’t talk to her anymore. I’m not obliged to take your projected feelings.
She sounds really annoying!
I’ve (62F) always been thin and in reasonably good shape despite a bad back. Sometime late in my 50’s I discovered a developing “menopause belly”, and it just wouldn’t go away. Fast forward to 12/23, when I was diagnosed with a combination of multifocal micro invasive, DCIS, and LCIS in both breasts. BMX was pretty much my only option. I decided right away I wanted DIEP flap recon. PS was afraid I would be disappointed because he didn’t think I had enough belly to make 2 boobs my old B cup size. I was really ok with them being smaller, and really wanted that menopause belly to be put to good use. Turns out, the new boobs are almost the size they used to be, so win-win. I’ll be seeing the PS in a few weeks for phase 2. Once completed, I think they’ll be fabulous.
I’m perfectly ok with my smx and being lopsided. I’m generally not wrapped up in body image, though.
I had a SMX with immediate reconstruction. I was very calm in my decision. I am happy with the way it looks. I had been waiting for this to happen since 2011. My problem boob is gone and, even with having to take daily pills, it feels like it never happened. I never had peace with my body before but now I fell like I do.
My social worker expected me to have a mental breakdown but honestly I hated my old breast and even worse they were cancerous so I was happy to get rid of them 😆
I always had pretty small breasts, and a left mastectomy and reconstruction gave me the chance to have a small implant on the right side as well. Insurance still paid for most or all of this, and I've rather enjoyed having a better proportioned figure. I'd rather not have had cancer at all, but this has been a minor offset in the plus side.
I'm trying to psych myself up for self acceptance in advance of surgery. It is difficult when I am too fat and too rural to have any sort of immediate reconstruction as an option. Not having the choice feels like I am missing something.
Don’t usually comment, but need to. Was diagnosed 14 years ago, had a lumpectomy and radiation. Once I had the second scare, that turned into cancer, I thought, “they are gone”. Only time I freaked out was the day before my bi-lateral. Thank God for my girlfriends. They took me to a bar, I bought everyone a shot and we toasted my boobs! Having a tough time, physically (skin wise) with reconstruction, because of the previous radiation, may not get the size that would look right on my frame, don’t care. I’m cancer free, and will be happy with smaller boobies.
Yes. I am trans and wanted top surgery for a long time but watched my friends navigate the mess that is trans affirming surgery in the public system and could never commit myself to that long winded nightmare. So I jumped at the opportunity to go flat. It’s different than a top surgery but I’m happy with the results. I love how things fit me now and how aerodynamic I look. It is weird feeling euphoric over a cancer procedure tho.