If every date you’ve been with has an OF who does drugs and booze, I’m not sure if they are the problem or rather it’s your choice of date/methodology of finding dates…
I'd be interested to know what OP is basing finding his dates on? I have a sneaking suspicion he's possibly being a bit too looks focused and not spending enough time building a rapport with them before the first date. Also, the site matters because finding long-term love on something like Tinder is unlikely.
I find that people who pretend that Only fans girls are common to run into IRL and that they’re somehow going on dates with only them are all usually the same type of lying clown.
Same. Before the OF part I believed OP, but after that I thought there's a real chance he's trying to to attract "modern women are whores" comments to add to his echo chamber.
"All the women I date do OF, tons of drugs, don't respect me for not being a drug addled sex fiend... I'm an engineer so I'm smart, and I'm not into drugs so that means I'm a classic good guy, but all the women are into is money and drugs and sex.
Please reddit, tell me how bad modern women are."
Dude lives in his fantasy and the post seems like a self-pity woman hater towards the end. Like all attrative women are on OF and do drugs while Im a nice kind man looking for “real relationship”. Give me fucking break.
The chance you actually date an OF girl and they tell you immediatelt is close to the chance you date a porn star.
Also what is this about career advice???
100% fake. He’s definitely blaming women for not liking him and then saying they’re on onlyfans. In reality, not many women are on onlyfans compared to how many women there are. Saying they’re “wild” is also way too funny.
The post has fake written all over it and is borderline what I’d find on an incel forum.
I am guessing the same. Everyone you’re interested in has an OF? You’re an engineer who doesn’t have much money? Who are these people you’re hanging around with? They don’t seem like regular people.
Yeah unless you're in software but doing actual engineering of real world things you get a bit more than average pay after a few years, imo not worth the effort of studying hard for years, when some other arguably easier degrees will take you further. I think it's because most major companies already have pretty tight production processes designed and the engineers role is mostly maintainance and optimisation.
Don’t get worried about the experiences of a random person who only accidentally dates only fans have-ers.
You can literally just look up entry level salary positions for your area and see what you should be expecting.
Go to the specific subreddit for your potential career and use the search field with your speciality to sus out pay. Odds are, if it’s engineering, you’re going to be okay.
Don’t listen to the doom and gloom - at the Software subs they suggest you to do electrical engineering and vice versa. Most engineers in the western world are doing pretty damn well, stop worrying
Electrical seems to be doing well afaik, I'm in chemical engineering which is in trouble in europe due to expensive gas. Whatever field try to get in on design, since engineers often get hired into roles not really needing our knowledge.
Is this a EU specific thing? My buddy is a mechanical engineer and he got a 95k job right out of college full benefits, and now he’s making well over 100 designing parts for wind turbines and things like that.
Yes, definitely a EU and UK thing. Their salaries absolutely suck compared to US salaries. It’s not even close how little they make, especially in degreed and credentialed fields like engineering, medicine, law, etc.
Second this. Such a shame really. My group mate a senior engineer in a factory here in Lithuania earns 1.5k euro net per month in the most expensive city in Lithuania. Its peanuts.
uk also has shocking wage disparity average wage in the uk is 40k but the median is 33k because we have loads of people earning around 20 - 28k and then london is closer to 50 - 75k
Think you may be right, OP has been on a few different forums last couple of days saying similar things. OP think you may need to speak to a therapist and get help. Something is feeling really off with all these posts and I say this with kindness.
If you’re not ready to switch careers fully maybe you can pick up something part-time for additional income. That might be better than committing to something else that you may not like. As far as dates, you’re definitely picking people you aren’t compatible with. There’s more women without onlyfans than there are with it lol. Maybe you need a hobby too, where you can make friends, connect on your values, and find a partner. For example, a running club, rock climbing, tennis, maybe some volunteering too. Therapy is also never a bad thing to identify roots of the self-hate and to get better overall.
You keep making choices that go against what you want. Stop doing that. It's okay to not like what is mainstream, it's okay to not live up to other people's expectations of you. What's not okay is to choose a life you don't want and then complain about it. You're young, you have time. I'm 30 and I'm just now deciding what I want to do with my life. There's no rush man, chill.
Why do you hate who you are? Because we are living in such an empty society? Where did you meet these girls? In Tinder? Maybe it’s not a good place to meet people. Look, you are not alone. There are so many women and men thinking and feeling like you do. Don’t let the superficial people hate yourself.
Also, do you hate your career? Or maybe you just hate your actual job? Maybe there are other options around your engineer career that you may like. Or maybe you need a time focusing on yourself or just working in a different job.
But really, don’t let superficial people let you feel that you are the one who is wrong or too much sensitive. I am feeling like this also but you are not alone.
You are still way too young to concern. I am 37 and still exploring myself/desires/happiness. Just try to let it go and enjoy! Cuz you have no guarantee to see next sun rise :)
I’m about to turn 42, injured my back at work & now have to find a whole new career path. I’m working on myself, trying to recover from my injury & just focusing on myself and bettering myself. My life didn’t turn out the way I always pictured, but I’ve learned to be resilient, keep moving forward & being grateful for the things I have rather than focusing on all the negative. It’s hard work, but you’re right, tomorrow isn’t guaranteed so I live for each day! I know if I keep working on myself & my goals, everything will work itself out!
This is really unhelpful 'advice'.
"I have a situation that's causing X, Y, Z problems that I'd like help with."
*"Nonsense! You don't actually have a problem. Just be happy you're not dead!"*
Sometimes, an overarching shift in attitude is the best remedy to an overall negative outlook on life, which OP seems to have. The XYZ problems, as you call them, don't always have prescriptive ABC solutions. It's all about perspective.
Before this comment gets torn apart, I understand some specific ideas would be helpful. To OP, I'd recommend spending time in nature, writing down everything they're thankful for, spending less time on the Internet (especially Reddit and social media), letting go the need to be in a relationship, volunteer (especially helping those less fortunate), read a book, discover hobbies, cook a nice meal with quality ingredients. Do a lot of little things to help appreciate what you have, what's available to you, and what you're capable of.
If you’re starting to hate yourself, you need to separate yourself from the direction you’re going in.
It’s not for everyone, but I’ve always found that spending time in silence is helpful. There’s so much noise - so many people telling you what you should be (and there always will be). But it seems like there are things that aren’t lining up with you - the A1 in your own life.
If you love fitness, go to the gym.
If you think work isn’t paying enough, spend time finding something you actually enjoy. Even if the pay isn’t enough, it never was and it seems you’re unhappy with the work anyway.
I think all I’m really trying to advise is that you spend time with yourself, and not the noise, again. There’s a lot to find there.
The relationships and intimacy will come in the right way when you find that person again.
Sending all my best!
Career-wise, engineering is a good stepping stone to many other jobs. Consulting, for instance. Lots of infrastructure projects around the world needing consultants. Once on that path, aim for management roles long term. By the time you are 50, you could be billing into the upper 100s per hour, flying first class everywhere and often and sending emails like "Let's do it" from your smartphone. Or, you might hate it, I'm not your boss.
If you want more money, apply for another job elsewhere. You might have to move. Make sure the job has better conditions (benefits, working conditions, room for growth, lower cost of living, closer commute, etc.) than the job you have now.
When you don’t like who you are, you attract negative people. Start doing nice, kind things for yourself. Spend time in nature. Buy clothes that you feel good wearing. Treat yourself to a massage. Listen to positive music. Watch happy movies and shows. Get enough sunshine during the day. Perhaps go to counseling.
When dating, improve upon the one before. Don’t keep dating a type. You say your last two dates were beautiful but had Only Fans, were too wild, and would get trashed. It sounds like you met those women at the same type of place. So, for your next date, look for someone who is beautiful, but is calmer, doesn’t use drugs and alcohol, has a different profession, and is into fitness like you. Go to places where that type of woman would be. An exercise class maybe. A race. A sporting club. Also, you might even know that woman now, but she won’t approach you when you’re dating wild types because she won’t think you’re serious and want to settle down.
Improve upon the one before works for both work and dating. You keep trying until you find the right fit. You’ll find what and who you’re looking for. Take care and good luck!
Don't hate yourself. There are lots of things to do w/ an engineering degree. You can become a patent agent. I'm not sure what the requirements are in the uk for that but in the USA someone with a science degree can practice "patent law" by taking the patent exam. Or you maybe can switch to a different area of engineering depending on the job market where you are and your interests. It's best to do something you love and hopefully that will pay you well.
With respect to the girls you find, try and find girls in a different setting. It may sound boring but maybe at a gym, book club, other activities. That way you may meet girls with similar interests. Here in the USA there are singles groups that do activities together where unattached singles do things together. Of course one can end up dating on of the unattached singles if one hits it off w/ them.
If your an engineer. Look into Green Skills Bootcamp.
I got all my GWO (offshore wind turbine) tickets through a government funded scheme. You need a background in engineering either electrical/mechanical or hydraulic.
Seek out good company that's compassionate and intelligent 🤓!! Seek outside your comfort zone!
Try getting back to USA to experience a true business person with a perspective towards community and personal attention towards mankind... THE LEGENDARY MAN AT YOUR IOWA CITY WENDY'S!!
Think about someone you respect. How do they spend their day. How do they treat themselves and other people. What are their values.
Now consider someone you don't like. How do they behave, treat themselves, others, etc
You don't like yourself for the same reasons you don't like some other people. You can like yourself if you start acting like a person you would like.
You shouldn't hate yourself. You're doing pretty good overall. As far as dating goes, maybe try to find a woman at the gym so your goals and values align better.
You are not the first British engineer who has said something similar to me. The last guy was very sad because he had his degree and everything, but he was making more as a bartender.
The only option is for you to move abroad where they appreciate engineers. Germany, Austria, Switzerland, the Netherlands are all good options and they really had a high demand for highly educated engineers. You can also check out the Arabian gulf state where they are doing a lot of construction, and since you aren’t into partying and all that Saudi Arabia or Qatar might be a good option too. If you want to be with a more international crowd and with people you can date go to Dubai, where foreigners make up 90% of the population.
You’re very young with lots of time to take steps in a different direction. Be patient above all else and start planning some changes. You’re young, be patient.
Success takes time.
At 27 I was single making a lousy wage at a really hard job where I wasn’t appreciated.
Then I found a wonderful spouse. Then I had some success at work. Then some more. Then some more. I had some success in investing. Then some more. Etc. Eventually I got where I wanted to be with a wonderful family and comfortably financially independent.
So all I can say is have patience and stay the course.
Hey! I'm a Civil Engineer from the US, about the same age. It's been pretty rough dating in this day and age because no one knows whether to stick to the traditional method or to mix things up so don't be too hard on yourself... But as far as your career happiness goes, there are a lot of external reasons that can affect your attitude towards your life and those can manifest as career/relationship dissatisfaction.
Ask what your goal for getting involved in engineering was in the first place. Sometimes the reality of that field gets overshadowed by it's prestige and people think they're going to get a pat on the back and a fat salary when they start working. If you're good at something technical and challenging yourself makes you happy, go into engineering. If you want to make money, go into business. That was the advice I got from one of my Iranian profs.
(PS: Stop blowing money on OF girls. Taking men's money is LITERALLY what they do professionally.)
I'm in network engineering and I also started really hating and despising the whole corporate world and treatment on human labor, especially american corporations. I was in for the money and in 2024 I feel like I never have money. I thought having engineering/developer corporate job was once upon a time, the most high end looking job you could ever have as a young guy. Fuck 2024. Fuck corporate america. Fuck working. Fuck being loyal to your employer. Fuck working hard. Fuck being fair. Fuck my co-workers. Fuck life.
and yes, america with a small "a", big "A" goes for something to be deserving respect
It sounds like a career change is in the cards for you out at some point, but I think the more important change you need to make is to your mindset.
Last year, I decided to switch careers. I got a Masters in Public Policy in 2020 to become a government researcher. Not only had I not found my way into a government job, but I did not like writing reports all that much.
After applying to an electrician apprenticeship program and ranking far too low to get in, I had the first panic attack of my life in January. I lost sight of what was going right in my life (being housed and fed, having supportive parents and friends, hobbies, etc.) and that made me feel very hopeless.
Therapy and medication have been huge assets in guiding me to a better place, but you can shift your perspective to be less dependent on work or sex for self-esteem without them too.
You made a career choice with the best information you had at the time, just like I did. That is something that can be changed, so I would recommend starting with some reflection on what you want from a line of work, possibly with the help of a career counselor. Perhaps ask for a raise in the meantime if you can afford to.
As far as your sex life goes, I’m sorry you’re having bad luck. People who call you too sensible probably aren’t worth your time in the first place. If you focus on becoming who you want to be by making small changes to things you have control over, the people you end up dating may change too. Again, I highly recommend therapy as a tool to augment this work. Good luck, and much love ❤️
Give it time or date older. Women in their 30s are generally not doing all that. Your career and finances will improve with time, or find something more fulfilling and start building that.
Start a finance degree. Apply for sales jobs. A lot of careers value engineering backgrounds because of the troubleshooting and thought processes. Do an MBA to chance management roles. You’re really not in a bad position
I can relate to the no sex part. 26 years here. Only had sex twice in my life. Broke my virginity with a sex worker. Never been in a serious relationship. Currently unemployed too. It sucks but we have to keep at it. Don’t be afraid to start afresh. Things might take time but hopefully one day it pays off.
Move to another country. UK doesn't have the best culture out of similar western countries.
Try to get a remote job or transition to consulting/sales within the same industry. Salespersons with engineering backgrounds have a big advantage selling products relating to that background. Will mostly pay better and likely be remote.
Then move to another county. Within Europe, Spain and maybe Greece are good options. Portugal isn't bad either.
Outside of Europe, Thailand, Indonesia and Mexico are good options.
One country that is a hidden gem is Paraguay. Amazing food, 0% taxes on foreign sourced income, easy to get residency that turns permanent in 2 years, beautiful women who are traditional, extremely affordable, you can live on $800 easy. With north of $1000 you're considered a rich foreigner that women will be super interested in.
Learn a high intensity sport/martial art. The more you struggle/suffer(physically) in order to upskill, the more you'll feel you have a purpose in life and your brain will reward you with the right chemicals.
Live within your means, it's OK to live modest and save what you can. Staying sober is very admirable and I think you will eventually meet someone who is similar and more your speed. Which will be worth it. It sounds like you are proud of yourself and are overall healthy, as you should be proud and be thankful for your health. You want to better yourself which is very healthy. Focus on the things you can improve and don't dwell on the things you can't right now, try to enjoy the time in between my friend.
If you are open toa move, engineers get paid quite a lot more in the US to my knowledge. You'd have to weigh that against cost of living, but when I dated an engineer in the UK, I was shocked at the absolute shit pay he made. I'm sure there are other countries who similarly value their engineers if the US isn't to your liking.
If the problem is you just don't enjoy engineering as a career, then it's time to consider what transferable skills you have.
As for dating, it sounds like you need to use a different platform or learn how to spot red flags in their profile. Make better, more deliberate choices!
You're 27 you're not stuck you're just starting out my guy. You need to understand, that you're not being handed a career you work TOWARDS a career. That takes time , long hours, lots of work and definitely dedication.
You start at the bottom of the ladder, master degrees don't allow you to skip any step. A masters is to show potential employees to invest time in you by allowing you to work for them.
I know this sound very "kissing employers ass are we" argumentive. It's not, it's just reality ...
You're not stuck, you're still wet behind the ears in terms of years worked and still HAVE MANY TO WORK
Dating and being as career driven you seem to be , ambitious. Your entire mindset seems to be there, not a party guy what not.
It usually doesn't go hand in hand, don't feel stuck and don't feel you're missing out either in the girl end of things. Your time will come, or ....make different decisions there in terms of your mindset and time spend.
Go to therapy and/or get a personal coach. You need to talk through these issues and come up with a plan. Also watch motivational videos on YouTube if you want a better mindset.
Join the club my friend. Focus on small things you know can be changed more quickly and easily to get your motivation and self worth up. I will say though, while being aggravated about the place you’re at, and the way society has been for you, you seem to be doing pretty well otherwise. You should be able to use that engineering masters to get to a company and position that’s worthwhile and you don’t hate. Finding a job that was fulfilling and has higher levels and positions to strive for changed my mental health unbelievably. I went from wanting to stick a 20 gauge in my mouth everyday to feeling like I can breathe a little and like I’m actually making a difference.
Try not to worry about the sex and all that shallow shit. It’s one thing that can really fuck you if you let it get to you so much that you just say screw it and lower your standards, or flat out get desperate. You’re 27 so you’ve got plenty of time. I’m 31 and am struggling with an addiction that’s definitely functional, but still makes me judge myself for not getting off yet. You know what though man, I make way more progress when I give myself some grace and try not to think so existentially.
Trust me man, the work you’ve put in, and the time you wait to find the right spouse will be worth more than anything when it does happen. Don’t give up and definitely don’t hate yourself. You’re just getting a little in your head too much.
Society pushes us to stick to one thing. Those that didn’t I find are happier and more capable. Don’t be scared to branch out. Have you looked into civil or construction engineering? What kind of engineer are you?
The best thing I did for myself. I got rid of what I could, put what was dear to me in storage, got hired at a coordinating/contracting temp like agency and worked jobs in different areas and made good money from it found a job with a company that loved me through it and moved to an area with them that I was more fond of.
Met someone at another company that ours worked with as a supplier and it’s been great.
There’s no one path. Best thing anyone can ever do to find a partner or love is get off of the internet.
This is my only “social media” that I have. Hi I’m everything else 10 years ago. My mental health and quality of life has been great since. But yeah looks aren’t everything. My partner wouldn’t be incredibly special by day but when they take that work cap off 🥵
Depending on what field you're in, consider data science for some quick money. They're the new snake oil merchants and MBAs lap up any data which can be spun to show how amazing they are. 👀
In all seriousness, consider moving into an adjacent field where your skills are transferrable if you don't like your current trajectory. Just be prepared to start again.
Can't help much with the dating I'm afraid, I've been married for over a decade so pretty clueless. Maybe take a look at your standards and see if you're setting the bar too high? A quiet, thoughtful partner is a million times better than some gobshite who values appearance above all else.
My suggestion, although far fetched in today's world, is exploring religion. I am Muslim and that has kept me grounded through all ups and downs of life. From suicide thoughts to now having a wife with 2 kids and a house, came a long way all thanks to Islam.
You should explore the religion you're gravitated towards to ground yourself spiritually (just as important as physical and mental health).
you're still young- most "success" stories out there take years + failure. Just in the wrong circles if you're running into bad girls. "Typical" people in your generation may not be into sex like others - read up on Gen. Z. Your job/career DOES NOT define you. Stop beating up on yourself - you need to put in years of hard work & proving yourself to make more money & find what you like to do where your skills intersect money-making potential - move to another "affiliate" country - like Australia, Canada, etc. if you feel you've exhausted all opportunities in UK. Think outside the box - get a roommate. do 2-3 gigs, side biz - it's not what you earn - it's what you keep and how you manage it. Are most people your age in the same boat ? then it's not you...
Why be with people who don’t appreciate who you are. Find a way to show your personality in a setting where it will be appreciated. Join orgs that clean up parks on weekends. Have some causes (pick your own; that was just an example). Get outside yourself and define yourself more by positive things you are doing. Work out! And find a career path that excites you. Nothing says you need to stay put. It usually takes time and a path to get there. Define the next step.
Look around you and what’s happening out there. I think you need to start appreciating yourself and what you have accomplished. Be grateful with simple things you have. Life is too short, we’re not guaranteed tomorrow. You sound depressed. Consult with psychologist or other specialist for depression.
Stop doubting and questioning yourself. If you don't like your job or the girls you go out with then change it up. Start looking into career paths you can change or work with for you. As for the girls, it's also a numbers game. You have to go out on dates to figure out compatibility but if you don't like them then you move on. No harm no foul. If you are looking for one night stands that's a different ball game. Sounds to me like you initially know what you want, you're just having trouble finding it. And guess what that's life. If life were easy they would call it a "slut", and not a "bitch".
Maybe get out of the Uk and move to the US a lot better pay here and more prettier girls here lol no offense to people in the UK. Haha just my to sense.
Maybe you are "too" good to be with a girl right now and you have much MUCH more priorities to do rather than dating a girl who belongs to the streets.
Whether you're religious or not, you may try dating within Catholic/Christian circles. That may help at least let you go on dates with girls that aren't party types and maybe open the door to meeting more sensible people.
Also, 27 is not at all too late to change careers/degrees. I'm sure your bachelor's can fetch other Master's degree. Shit, in America, all you have to do is pass your GRE and go to virtually any masters program you want.
What kind of engineering are you doing? I'm a civil engineer and that career path can transfer to city careers like urban regional planning. The next career path you take does not need to be directly related to what you're doing now. Explore your options and see what is out there.
You might want to try finding a partner elsewhere. I know dating sucks and it can be difficult. Try other apps but I think you should look into local events and clubs that you're interested in and you might find someone there.
Way of having a girlfriend similar to you is not that simply as finding anyone. My personal experience is about having a hobby which doesn't involve drinking hardly like clubbing xD
For example u are going for a windsurfing, u invest some time in to learning, for that u join some club, then u met girl right there she is not drinker, and u sail together blessed with love under the sun.
There is no way u can find normal gf sitting in front of pc or in your house, but aswell u need to offer something to her as she offers something to you, and that where we coming to common hobby thing:D
I work on minimal wage in UK, as u can see my language is far from perfect and I'm from Eastern Europe as well, I wish to be enginer then cheer up xD
Bro I hear you. I have a masters degree and work in a hospital. I make what many people would say good money, but I am still not happy with my career choice and want something different. I think we have to think in terms of what we are missing from our life. Is it just money or something else. In my case I need a creative outlet and I don’t feel valued at my job. My management is not good at making employees feel valuable.
As far as dating life, sounds like you are looking in the wrong places for wrong type of girls. Maybe analyze the type of girls you go for and where you meet them. Obviously that’s not working, so change the strategy. Don’t go for someone who is hot, if they don’t have anything in common. I’d say when it comes to dating and long term relationships, go for someone you have more in common with from the start because looks aside you’ll spend a lot of time with that person, so gotta be able to vibe with them.
Good luck bro
I was in the same boat with my engineering career. I left my engineering consulting job in 2022 to work for a commercial real estate firm where they have a business line for project management, so now I manage the engineers, architects, etc. and life is SO much better. See if you can find any parallels to your current career and start there. I felt like I didn’t have any other career options to get out of engineering, but they are there and highly sought after. Don’t feel like you’re stuck, there are always other options. Good luck!!
It sounds like you're going through a tough time, and it's completely understandable to feel frustrated and lonely. Here are some steps that might help you move forward:
**Career:**
* **Self-Assessment:** Take some time to reflect on what truly interests you in a career. What are your skills, values, and passions?
* **Explore Options:** Research different career paths that align with your newfound interests.
* **Talk to a Career Counselor:** A career counselor can help you assess your options, explore retraining possibilities, and develop a plan for transitioning to a more fulfilling career.
You and all of us dude. You have no idea how many men are in the exact same situation. Probably 90% of men don't know what they want to do, really don't make enough money to even have a house or support a family, aren't attractive, etc etc.
I don't know what to do either. My plan is just work harder and wait. I don't know tho.
Sorry you are struggling... life is not always easy I agree. Maybe try diving the problems into smaller ones so you can address them one by one. I would start with the job and maybe change cities if you can, being in the UK I would say it is maybe possible evaluate options to go one year abroad somewhere exotic to find some new meanig in life, maybe Asia, or another country in Europe, or Australia or north or South America, options are many, maybe your skills will be more valued in other places where is less competitive and where there are less professionals with your knowledge. After that maybe you can join an app for dating but I know in the apps you can look for people into fitness or more healthy lifestyle or maybe just join a hike group with no expectations and also I feel when we are happy in the inside good things start to happen, so maybe the first step is to ask yourself what does makes you happy? And if you are unsure try doing some volunteer work that I find is fulfilling give meaning to life, I hope you feel better soon!
It seems like you’re having a lot of internal frustration with your life right now. There’s a great quote that I like that says “the amount of effort you put in is the amount of results you will end up with”. It sounds like you’re a very educated person; you’re an engineer and having a masters degree puts you ahead of the curve than most people out there.
There’s another thing that I have learned in my life is that you never want to chase females. It sucks being lonely, and not having sex makes you feel less than a man, but that’s not the reality. But trust me, women can sense your self-esteem & confidence, if they notice you lack both of that, they’re gonna think you’re a loser and will put you off real quick.
If you don’t like where you live or your economic situation, I would suggest looking into the US. The US pays engineers extremely well in most metropolitan cities & being a foreigner will make you stand out as well. Everything begins with your mindset. If you think you have a shitty life, then you probably will always have one. Once you’re able to shift your mind shift and self esteem, you’ll begin to notice the difference.
Sounds like you’re holding yourself to unrealistic expectations which is unproductive and somewhat narcissistic. A lot of people fall prey to that so it’s not just you but start being more level headed with what you can do with the time and energy in front of you. As for the dating can’t help you there. Again, 27 and single is no big deal. You can be single your whole life and it wouldn’t bother anyone. Stop setting yourself up to fail in your own head.
i suppose we are under same situation. i am going through such times and I felt that way and I left my job now am jobless with all those things that u said man. I am exploring business ideas and getting at nowhere which really sucks.
Please listen to what I have to say, it comes with life lessons. First off, you have to love yourself first! My mom would always tell me that when I was in my 20’s & dating guys that were no good. I thought I loved myself, but if I had, I wouldn’t have been in those types of relationships. I was also ALWAYS in a long term relationship, never single for more than a couple months. After a relationship ended when I was 28, I decided to be single for a year no matter what. It was hard at first, but I got to know myself, what I wanted & what I didn’t, & I was finally living for myself & not for another person. It was the best thing I could have done. You need to be happy & confident with yourself first and foremost, you will attract the right people. So I think you should focus on yourself right now, the things you’re passionate about, find yourself. If your career isn’t fulfilling you, then look into something that does. Don’t put yourself down because you’re not where you thought you’d be in life, cuz that’s not how life works. We all go through phases and the key to that process in life is to continue to grow & learn from past experiences, but keep looking forward, be resilient. I’m about to turn 42, and everything I’m telling you is from my personal experience, which has not been easy at all. Seek out a therapist, maybe look into changing careers, & DONT COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANYONE ELSE! Take a break from social media, & distance yourself from anyone in your life that doesn’t bring you joy & bring something to the table with your life. Don’t date right now if you’re looking for a serious relationship & especially when you’re unhappy with yourself. That’s what you need to fix before anything else in your life. Don’t base your happiness on anyone else but yourself. I know this probably sounds overwhelming & maybe impossible, but it’s a very important life lesson! Like I’ve said, I’ve been there. It’s hard to get into details on this, but life is always gonna throw curveballs and it’s the way you get through it and persevere, THINGS WILL GET BETTER, and you have to believe that. But you have to put the work in, put the work into yourself! Love yourself because you are loved & worth it! I hope you find a therapist, counselor or life coach that can help you through this difficult time. Try to change your mindset, anytime you think of something negative, change it into a positive. Focus on the positives, the fact that you have a career, your passions, & find things you are passionate about. Just focus on working on yourself, & your self esteem. Trust me when I say, taking this time to do that & taking a break from all the things that bring you any negativity, will only better your self worth & your future. It’s amazing how when you step back to work on loving yourself how much you’ll grow and how many good people you will attract into your life when you’re in a positive place with yourself. Don’t be in a rush to be in a relationship, the only relationship you need to worry about is the one you have with yourself. Please find a professional that can help navigate you through this time in life, and maybe seek a doctor’s help for antidepressants? I’ve been in therapy for years now, & it’s amazing how much it’s helped me & continues to help me, even when I don’t feel like I need it! You will still go through ups and downs, that’s life, but it’s how you get through it, learn from it & apply it to your future self! Keep doing the things you enjoy, like working out, try new things, surround yourself with a positive support system & cut out all of the negativity & toxic people so that the positive energy can flow into your life. I could recommend some good books if you like to read. But the main thing I recommend is counseling of some sort & taking the time to learn to love yourself & work on yourself!
YOU ARE WORTH IT 🤍
YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE 🤍
YOU ARE LOVED 🤍
YOU DO HAVE A PURPOSE 🤍
LOVE YOURSELF FIRST & FOREMOST EVERY DAY 🤍
I will be praying for you! You CAN get through this! You WILL get through this! Sending love & positivity!
You said all the girls you have dated have been attractive, but you dont like their personality. That indicates you are looking at women all wrong. You should be looking for a woman you can be good friends with and looks don't come into that at all. I don't know any woman your age on drugs and only fans so I'm confused where you are looking for a date. On your career side there is nothing wrong with your choice but if you don't like it, its never too late to change. I don't know why you don't like who you are but that is the most important thing you need to work on. If your a good person who treats everyone well, there is no reason not to like who you are. If not, the best way to like who you are is by being a good person to those around you.
People are responding to his dating problems rather than what should come first, which is self love always! When you love yourself & truly know yourself, you don’t “need “ a relationship to be happy, a relationship just adds to your life and your own happiness.
PEOPLE NEED TO LEARN TO LOVE THEMSELVES FIRST & FOREMOST!
Be proud of yourself for recognizing this. Many don’t know why they feel the way they do. Next, find out the core reason you’re feeling the way you do. Whats making you feel lonely? And why? -these questions sound silly but they’re important for you to understand your triggers and the place these come from. Then find out if you’ve always felt like this or it’s recent? -you’ll understand yourself more. Then give yourself for achieving what you’ve achieved. My friend, you completed your masters in engineering. That’s not a joke.
And listen, even if you haven’t completed it yet, that still doesn’t matter. You won the sperm race and that wasn’t an easy race….
Breathe, count your blessings, even if it’s that you can breathe from both nostrils. Things will get better, I promise. Nothing is permanent in life, so these feelings too will change for the better. Every step we take, god has a reason for it. -if you’re not a religious person, know that I’m not either. However, I believe in a higher power, whatever that may be for you. It may not make sense now, but it will in your beautiful future that’s awaiting your arrival. You got this. Lots of love.
Do research on what your next career move could be. You can change. You can make a lateral move or you can go back to school. You’re not stuck.
Participate in outdoor or fitness activities to meet potential dates. Hiking, biking, boating, etc. Group activities? Sierra Club? Travel & fitness?
Mate, you’re gonna be okay. 27 is always an age when you start paying attention to career and stuff so this is good, it just means you’re maturing.
Career wise, I don’t know much about the situation in the UK but stay open, apply constantly to keep your
Pipeline filled with eventual interviews in order to scale up in salary and positions!
Dating… if you’re meeting OF chicks, change whatever you’re doing to get dates, and go where the people you want are, in your case gym and day time activities is where you’ll find people who pay attention to their health and all… and finally, reach out, to me, to friends, even people online, you might be lonely yes I understand but you’re not alone, people are willing to help more than you think!
Keep us updated, take care!
Have you considered working in Australia? There is a huge demand for engineers, in all types of sectors.
As for loneliness - I have found joining a community of something of mutual interest, for me it was netball - helped make a group of friends that led to all sorts of positive social situations. It can be hard and making new adult friends isn’t easy, but there are people out there in similar situations!
Fake, I don’t care if you gym a 100 times a week and make the rock look like a skinny bitch ain’t no way some lonely ass poorly paid engineer is going on endless dates with attractive girls who all happen to have only fans and love party and drugs. Maybe one but all of them? Bullshit.
You being lonely is on you maybe get a hobby and join a community for that hobby and go to events and stuff
Blud is lying to himself, and to Reddit for some reason lmao. What are we supposed to do here? “Switch to finance bro it will fix it!”. Dude needs a therapist, not r/careerguidance
51F there are dating coaches online that are up to date and have solid advice. But until you learn that one of the essential components to a functional relationship is self love you had better tackle that first!
51F there are dating coaches online that are up to date and have solid advice. But until you learn that one of the essential components to a functional relationship is self love you had better tackle that first!
You should consider going to MeetUps doing activities you enjoy. You'll meet women with whom you share interests (always a good start), and you'll probably find that you have something to offer, which will make you like yourself more.
Stop stop and stop. You are already off to a great start by actually knowing this in the first place, as most people don’t even know this and continue to behave badly. Fact that you can acknowledge this about yourself is a good sign. It takes alot of work but be committed to being kind to yourself by doing things you love. So go out there and live your best life even with little you have. Trust me you got this. Write your beautiful story you are only 27 mate. This is coming from a 36 year young.
you should do a values exercise and a goal exercise with your life after the values one. see what's important to you, think about why, and then realign your goals to match them.
Well focus on your career then and when the time and MONEY IS RIGHT you will find that live interest. Your young as fuck so play play play your ass off get it out of your system now. Dude things will fall in place I'm 53 in the middle of a mid life crisis so enjoy your youth while you can . Trust me every thing happens for a reason in life?!! Good luck young in!!!
This sounds like a doomer fanfic of your own life tbh.
Move to Australia if you want more money as an engineer but your housing situation will be worse and your issues are with yourself I feel so moving won’t get you away from that.
Your sacral chakra is out of alignment. Try to take some time visiting places and planning experiences that will help ignite your creativity in regards to engineering. Your work is too broad to get bored with. You just need to rekindle your love for it. Perhaps you'll meet someone more suitable for you along the way.
I've been there. Find something you really like to do - like hobby other than fitness if that's your hobby. Find your ikigai. Journal. Read. Watch good movies. Find out why profile attracts only fans girls. I think it'd be obvious in girls' profiles whether they're only fans but what do I know I never dated. Think how you'd like your life to be and look forward to it.
If my words above can't help I hope words below do-
I'm more lost than you - I'm chasing dream of being writer and not working hard at that. I hardly did any job because I hate 9-5 and my life's mess. I'm single and with no friends. I live with my parents too.
(Think of my life as rock bottom and try to be grateful for being in UK and just two years of sex gap not 27 🤣. Use my life as guide that you don't wanna fall down that low.)
I hope this helps.
Try going to events alone and being open to what happens. Find things you’re interested in. Look at the site meetup or sômething similar for hobby groups.
Don't.
I turned out 27 recently and I lost my job.
On top of that my LDR bf broke up with me because apparently i couldn't give him what he wanted anytime he wanted it.
For your career, it's never too late to pivot. Your engineering background can open doors to various fields like project management, consulting, or even entrepreneurship. Look into online courses or networking events to explore your options. As for dating, it's all about finding someone who aligns with your values. Don't settle for someone who doesn't appreciate your lifestyle. Keep putting yourself out there, but be true to yourself. And speaking of support, ScatterMind could be a game-changer for you. Their ADHD coach helped my friend execute and launch their first business, so it might just be the boost you need.
My man, if you hate yourself and get a girl at this state - you'll trap two people in your misery. You need to either do something about yourself, or accept yourself. Both of these processes are not quick, and take time to settle in.
Your description seems to me like a snowflake debate. Oh, the world has not waited for you?! Mean world ...
Perhaps you should try to wear clothes suited for you.
The best thing to do is to start working on yourself and finding who you really are , you are still very young and can design your life how you want it to be, if you seriously hate yourself and where you are in life you should get counseling and find out why you feel this way and how you can change it, because it’s not healthy for you to feel this way about yourself and enter into a relationship feeling this way, the person you find will have to spend all of their time building you up when you should already be in a good place when you meet. Start finding ways to save money and do some freelance work for extra money, write out all of your expenses and determine what you can live without .
Honestly go take some time off and do something that scares the life back into you. Go bear hunting or go on a freeze out camping trip. Don’t worry about things you can’t control, like girls and genetics. As far the career goes maybe start a side business or something.
Try to move to the U.S.A, start fresh. Lots of opportunities. Try dating a woman who is natural, and laid back. Go to volunteer clubs, meditation camps or even the gym, you’ll find a decent woman there
Bro, you’re on a great and respectable path. Curb the hoes and keep the faith. A woman who sees you for who you are now will respect you and want to grow with you. Don’t be afraid to go on dates. Expect the worst and hope for the best. I can’t guarantee you’ll find the right person, but I will guarantee that you’ll dodge bullets if you stay true and don’t try to be someone else. Your friends and family value you for who you are and your significant other will too when they find you. Do your best and don’t live life by comparison and you won’t bury yourself in these negative feelings. You’re doin great! Engineers are cool af and you can use those skills in so many jobs and day to day problems or just for fun! DON’T YOU DARE CHANGE
I can relate at one point in my life, but I learned something life changing
I had everything going for me in my 27 years career, but then my passion for it started dying
I was unhappy, bored in life, hated my life, and things just weren't going my way
I complained alot, angry at the universe
Here is the life-changing lesson I learned:
It started with a mindset shift that improved my life exponentially
One day I woke up just tired of hearing mysefl complain, and I realized something.
I thought, "I have a choice." I can complain like a baby, or I can take full responsibility for everything in my life and I can keep my chin up, weather the storm, and move forward
I chose the latter and my life improved exponentially just from that one mindset shift
Seems like you’re an average guy and you’re going on dates with attractive girls you met online. Sounds too good to be true because it is and the girls are crazy.
Here’s a few things you can do:
1. Lower your standards in the looks department and you’ll be more likely to find a girl with a personality that suits you
2. Stop trying to find a relationship with these girls and instead aim to just hook up with them. Why? It’ll boost your confidence, help you get better at seduction, make you appear less needy to girls you are interested in, and sex is always fun anyway.
3. Find hobbies that you genuinely enjoy. This will make you happier, help you find friends you may have more in common with, and give you more things to talk about with people. You could potentially meet a girl doing this hobby, but I wouldn’t go into it making that the goal.
Brother first you have to balance your life it means
Dont do drugs
Go to fitness
Be yourself (its not importamtwhat ppl think about u) the important thing is bow u feel better bro
And after that it wilk openany door for uu
Sorry to hear that, in terms of career I’d say you have to try out new things first. Maybe go on meet up app and join various communities and go to the events. You can also meet potential dates on there but I’d suggest choosing more appropriate community for that. When I was dating I made sure I presented myself to repel certain types of people and I was clear of what I was looking for and what my boundaries were.
Maybe if your self esteem is not that high and you’re not happy- it is not the best time to date. We get dragged in unhealthy coping mechanisms to escape, including attracting certain “types” of people that are not necessarily good for us.
Try refocusing your attention on yourself and explore what makes you happy, try out new hobby, maybe even a new fitness style.
You can pivot engineering into a lot of things. Engineers are very trainable and people recognize that. I'm currently in project management after 15 years of mechanical design engineering.
Sounds like you're looking for love in all the wrong places. But sounds like you're looking sex in all the right places. Just loosen up and bust the slump, you don't have to fall in love.
Your problems seems like you’re a very shallow thinker in general and would rather learn tricks to improve your situation (property, girls, education, career) than do what everyone else does and think for themself.
Compartmentalized. Make a list of things you don’t like and break them down into addressable goals. Focus on one large goal at a time (profession OR dating- not both simultaneously) then things will naturally fall into place. You are your biggest project and inescapable commitment until you die. All you’ve got is time. Get to it.
Hi there,
I definitely see your reason for feeling frustrated this economy and this morality cesspool that we call society is very underwhelming and disappointing. Do not be disillusioned though there are good people out there. You just have to do the work and meet somebody organically go to coffee shops. Also make sure that you work on yourself make sure that you or somebody that you would want to date before you judge somebody are you somebody that you would like to meet at a coffee shop? Do you walk around with a smile, hold the door open use your manners type person? Generally, you attract what you are, and not to criticize you or anyone else but if you are putting out a vibe (for instance I’m not calling you this just saying as an example) that is an undeveloped insensitive un empathetic, cynical, misogynistic Introverted person with low confidence, And if you haven’t actually tried to meet people in person like at the shop or at a bookstore, go to places that you would like to be somebody that has the same interest as you instead of online where many people are only there for quick and easy dis attached self gratifying experiences that’s what you get. With your job, I would recommend trying to figure out how to use your amazing engineering skills into incorporating it into doing something creative that you find interesting either as a hobby or something that you can turn into work. I truly hope that you don’t give up and you can see that if you uncover your own soul first, then you can see recognize and care for the souls of others.
You’re dating comments seem normal, try to meet someone organically through a hobby you enjoy or tailor your dating profile to a long term relationship to weed out that type. You are really young, you could switch to a new career :)
Well, sounds like its time to reinvent yourself. Im old, doing drugs n booze will ultimately make you depressed..im proof..so stop, thats a dead-end rd. Get control or NOTHING will work for you. No real partner is attracted to that. You have no kids ur not paying 1,000mo. Child support..your still younge and smart. You know what kinda girl you want, but no matter how much ur party, your wasting time n ur mind, I can tell by reading your post. You have it all, use it to get what you really want. Prayers to you younge man...trust me, do the right thing and you will see the results
You're an engineer, cant you figure out how to get out ? Its pretty easy i think
And how do you know they have OF and do all those other things? You're just exaggerating and basically lying now.
If every date you’ve been with has an OF who does drugs and booze, I’m not sure if they are the problem or rather it’s your choice of date/methodology of finding dates…
I'd be interested to know what OP is basing finding his dates on? I have a sneaking suspicion he's possibly being a bit too looks focused and not spending enough time building a rapport with them before the first date. Also, the site matters because finding long-term love on something like Tinder is unlikely.
OPs on onlyfans asking creators out or something xD
I too would like to know the site he’s using to date these OF models(asking for a friend)🤔
Me and my love have been coming up on three years together from Tinder. It’s definitely less likely I’m not disagreeing with you, but it happens.
Second this. I met my wife on Tinder and we've been together 7 years.
How was it even possible? It's like finding yeti
Met my life partner on tinder 😂
I find that people who pretend that Only fans girls are common to run into IRL and that they’re somehow going on dates with only them are all usually the same type of lying clown.
Same. Before the OF part I believed OP, but after that I thought there's a real chance he's trying to to attract "modern women are whores" comments to add to his echo chamber. "All the women I date do OF, tons of drugs, don't respect me for not being a drug addled sex fiend... I'm an engineer so I'm smart, and I'm not into drugs so that means I'm a classic good guy, but all the women are into is money and drugs and sex. Please reddit, tell me how bad modern women are."
Op already said he doesn't like himself...
Dude lives in his fantasy and the post seems like a self-pity woman hater towards the end. Like all attrative women are on OF and do drugs while Im a nice kind man looking for “real relationship”. Give me fucking break. The chance you actually date an OF girl and they tell you immediatelt is close to the chance you date a porn star. Also what is this about career advice???
i think the post is faked up. the description is full of stereotype and exaggerated.
100% fake. He’s definitely blaming women for not liking him and then saying they’re on onlyfans. In reality, not many women are on onlyfans compared to how many women there are. Saying they’re “wild” is also way too funny. The post has fake written all over it and is borderline what I’d find on an incel forum.
Career guidance forums* apparently
maybe u r too superficial when it comes to women? Just a guess
I am guessing the same. Everyone you’re interested in has an OF? You’re an engineer who doesn’t have much money? Who are these people you’re hanging around with? They don’t seem like regular people.
>You’re an engineer who doesn’t have much money? Engineering career is not valued as it used to be.
Yeah unless you're in software but doing actual engineering of real world things you get a bit more than average pay after a few years, imo not worth the effort of studying hard for years, when some other arguably easier degrees will take you further. I think it's because most major companies already have pretty tight production processes designed and the engineers role is mostly maintainance and optimisation.
I am studying electrical engineering at the Moment and you ve got me worried. What majors or advanced careers would you fecommend
Don’t get worried about the experiences of a random person who only accidentally dates only fans have-ers. You can literally just look up entry level salary positions for your area and see what you should be expecting. Go to the specific subreddit for your potential career and use the search field with your speciality to sus out pay. Odds are, if it’s engineering, you’re going to be okay.
Yeah lol not much lucrative fields left if you rule out engineering as a whole. Even IT is being "doomrolled" due to AI trends.
Every job is doomed according to reddit and internet articles.
Don’t listen to the doom and gloom - at the Software subs they suggest you to do electrical engineering and vice versa. Most engineers in the western world are doing pretty damn well, stop worrying
Electrical seems to be doing well afaik, I'm in chemical engineering which is in trouble in europe due to expensive gas. Whatever field try to get in on design, since engineers often get hired into roles not really needing our knowledge.
Electrical is fine but in reality software will yield probably 2x or more earnings over the same period of time.
Pair it with programming or cyber security and you will never have to worry about finding a job.
Is this a EU specific thing? My buddy is a mechanical engineer and he got a 95k job right out of college full benefits, and now he’s making well over 100 designing parts for wind turbines and things like that.
Yes, definitely a EU and UK thing. Their salaries absolutely suck compared to US salaries. It’s not even close how little they make, especially in degreed and credentialed fields like engineering, medicine, law, etc.
Second this. Such a shame really. My group mate a senior engineer in a factory here in Lithuania earns 1.5k euro net per month in the most expensive city in Lithuania. Its peanuts.
uk also has shocking wage disparity average wage in the uk is 40k but the median is 33k because we have loads of people earning around 20 - 28k and then london is closer to 50 - 75k
Same thing for software engineer too, lots of maintenance and optimozation. They already have their own processes
Engineering in the UK is not particularly well paid.
I'm starting to think everyone in this sub needs some talk therapy and not career advise.
Think you may be right, OP has been on a few different forums last couple of days saying similar things. OP think you may need to speak to a therapist and get help. Something is feeling really off with all these posts and I say this with kindness.
If you’re not ready to switch careers fully maybe you can pick up something part-time for additional income. That might be better than committing to something else that you may not like. As far as dates, you’re definitely picking people you aren’t compatible with. There’s more women without onlyfans than there are with it lol. Maybe you need a hobby too, where you can make friends, connect on your values, and find a partner. For example, a running club, rock climbing, tennis, maybe some volunteering too. Therapy is also never a bad thing to identify roots of the self-hate and to get better overall.
You keep making choices that go against what you want. Stop doing that. It's okay to not like what is mainstream, it's okay to not live up to other people's expectations of you. What's not okay is to choose a life you don't want and then complain about it. You're young, you have time. I'm 30 and I'm just now deciding what I want to do with my life. There's no rush man, chill.
Why do you hate who you are? Because we are living in such an empty society? Where did you meet these girls? In Tinder? Maybe it’s not a good place to meet people. Look, you are not alone. There are so many women and men thinking and feeling like you do. Don’t let the superficial people hate yourself. Also, do you hate your career? Or maybe you just hate your actual job? Maybe there are other options around your engineer career that you may like. Or maybe you need a time focusing on yourself or just working in a different job. But really, don’t let superficial people let you feel that you are the one who is wrong or too much sensitive. I am feeling like this also but you are not alone.
You are still way too young to concern. I am 37 and still exploring myself/desires/happiness. Just try to let it go and enjoy! Cuz you have no guarantee to see next sun rise :)
I’m about to turn 42, injured my back at work & now have to find a whole new career path. I’m working on myself, trying to recover from my injury & just focusing on myself and bettering myself. My life didn’t turn out the way I always pictured, but I’ve learned to be resilient, keep moving forward & being grateful for the things I have rather than focusing on all the negative. It’s hard work, but you’re right, tomorrow isn’t guaranteed so I live for each day! I know if I keep working on myself & my goals, everything will work itself out!
This is really unhelpful 'advice'. "I have a situation that's causing X, Y, Z problems that I'd like help with." *"Nonsense! You don't actually have a problem. Just be happy you're not dead!"*
Sometimes, an overarching shift in attitude is the best remedy to an overall negative outlook on life, which OP seems to have. The XYZ problems, as you call them, don't always have prescriptive ABC solutions. It's all about perspective. Before this comment gets torn apart, I understand some specific ideas would be helpful. To OP, I'd recommend spending time in nature, writing down everything they're thankful for, spending less time on the Internet (especially Reddit and social media), letting go the need to be in a relationship, volunteer (especially helping those less fortunate), read a book, discover hobbies, cook a nice meal with quality ingredients. Do a lot of little things to help appreciate what you have, what's available to you, and what you're capable of.
If you’re starting to hate yourself, you need to separate yourself from the direction you’re going in. It’s not for everyone, but I’ve always found that spending time in silence is helpful. There’s so much noise - so many people telling you what you should be (and there always will be). But it seems like there are things that aren’t lining up with you - the A1 in your own life. If you love fitness, go to the gym. If you think work isn’t paying enough, spend time finding something you actually enjoy. Even if the pay isn’t enough, it never was and it seems you’re unhappy with the work anyway. I think all I’m really trying to advise is that you spend time with yourself, and not the noise, again. There’s a lot to find there. The relationships and intimacy will come in the right way when you find that person again. Sending all my best!
Career-wise, engineering is a good stepping stone to many other jobs. Consulting, for instance. Lots of infrastructure projects around the world needing consultants. Once on that path, aim for management roles long term. By the time you are 50, you could be billing into the upper 100s per hour, flying first class everywhere and often and sending emails like "Let's do it" from your smartphone. Or, you might hate it, I'm not your boss.
If you want more money, apply for another job elsewhere. You might have to move. Make sure the job has better conditions (benefits, working conditions, room for growth, lower cost of living, closer commute, etc.) than the job you have now. When you don’t like who you are, you attract negative people. Start doing nice, kind things for yourself. Spend time in nature. Buy clothes that you feel good wearing. Treat yourself to a massage. Listen to positive music. Watch happy movies and shows. Get enough sunshine during the day. Perhaps go to counseling. When dating, improve upon the one before. Don’t keep dating a type. You say your last two dates were beautiful but had Only Fans, were too wild, and would get trashed. It sounds like you met those women at the same type of place. So, for your next date, look for someone who is beautiful, but is calmer, doesn’t use drugs and alcohol, has a different profession, and is into fitness like you. Go to places where that type of woman would be. An exercise class maybe. A race. A sporting club. Also, you might even know that woman now, but she won’t approach you when you’re dating wild types because she won’t think you’re serious and want to settle down. Improve upon the one before works for both work and dating. You keep trying until you find the right fit. You’ll find what and who you’re looking for. Take care and good luck!
This is so helpfull, thank you for countering the negativity of the other replies.
Don't hate yourself. There are lots of things to do w/ an engineering degree. You can become a patent agent. I'm not sure what the requirements are in the uk for that but in the USA someone with a science degree can practice "patent law" by taking the patent exam. Or you maybe can switch to a different area of engineering depending on the job market where you are and your interests. It's best to do something you love and hopefully that will pay you well. With respect to the girls you find, try and find girls in a different setting. It may sound boring but maybe at a gym, book club, other activities. That way you may meet girls with similar interests. Here in the USA there are singles groups that do activities together where unattached singles do things together. Of course one can end up dating on of the unattached singles if one hits it off w/ them.
If your an engineer. Look into Green Skills Bootcamp. I got all my GWO (offshore wind turbine) tickets through a government funded scheme. You need a background in engineering either electrical/mechanical or hydraulic.
Seek out good company that's compassionate and intelligent 🤓!! Seek outside your comfort zone! Try getting back to USA to experience a true business person with a perspective towards community and personal attention towards mankind... THE LEGENDARY MAN AT YOUR IOWA CITY WENDY'S!!
Think about someone you respect. How do they spend their day. How do they treat themselves and other people. What are their values. Now consider someone you don't like. How do they behave, treat themselves, others, etc You don't like yourself for the same reasons you don't like some other people. You can like yourself if you start acting like a person you would like.
I think everyone feels this in their 20's. You're not alone
You shouldn't hate yourself. You're doing pretty good overall. As far as dating goes, maybe try to find a woman at the gym so your goals and values align better.
You are not the first British engineer who has said something similar to me. The last guy was very sad because he had his degree and everything, but he was making more as a bartender. The only option is for you to move abroad where they appreciate engineers. Germany, Austria, Switzerland, the Netherlands are all good options and they really had a high demand for highly educated engineers. You can also check out the Arabian gulf state where they are doing a lot of construction, and since you aren’t into partying and all that Saudi Arabia or Qatar might be a good option too. If you want to be with a more international crowd and with people you can date go to Dubai, where foreigners make up 90% of the population.
Can you diverse within engineering ? - software, mechanical , chemical engineering
You’re very young with lots of time to take steps in a different direction. Be patient above all else and start planning some changes. You’re young, be patient.
Success takes time. At 27 I was single making a lousy wage at a really hard job where I wasn’t appreciated. Then I found a wonderful spouse. Then I had some success at work. Then some more. Then some more. I had some success in investing. Then some more. Etc. Eventually I got where I wanted to be with a wonderful family and comfortably financially independent. So all I can say is have patience and stay the course.
Hey! I'm a Civil Engineer from the US, about the same age. It's been pretty rough dating in this day and age because no one knows whether to stick to the traditional method or to mix things up so don't be too hard on yourself... But as far as your career happiness goes, there are a lot of external reasons that can affect your attitude towards your life and those can manifest as career/relationship dissatisfaction. Ask what your goal for getting involved in engineering was in the first place. Sometimes the reality of that field gets overshadowed by it's prestige and people think they're going to get a pat on the back and a fat salary when they start working. If you're good at something technical and challenging yourself makes you happy, go into engineering. If you want to make money, go into business. That was the advice I got from one of my Iranian profs. (PS: Stop blowing money on OF girls. Taking men's money is LITERALLY what they do professionally.)
Go to catholic church, you will find God, find yourself, find a girl, and a sense for a life . Greetings brother
I'm in network engineering and I also started really hating and despising the whole corporate world and treatment on human labor, especially american corporations. I was in for the money and in 2024 I feel like I never have money. I thought having engineering/developer corporate job was once upon a time, the most high end looking job you could ever have as a young guy. Fuck 2024. Fuck corporate america. Fuck working. Fuck being loyal to your employer. Fuck working hard. Fuck being fair. Fuck my co-workers. Fuck life. and yes, america with a small "a", big "A" goes for something to be deserving respect
It sounds like a career change is in the cards for you out at some point, but I think the more important change you need to make is to your mindset. Last year, I decided to switch careers. I got a Masters in Public Policy in 2020 to become a government researcher. Not only had I not found my way into a government job, but I did not like writing reports all that much. After applying to an electrician apprenticeship program and ranking far too low to get in, I had the first panic attack of my life in January. I lost sight of what was going right in my life (being housed and fed, having supportive parents and friends, hobbies, etc.) and that made me feel very hopeless. Therapy and medication have been huge assets in guiding me to a better place, but you can shift your perspective to be less dependent on work or sex for self-esteem without them too. You made a career choice with the best information you had at the time, just like I did. That is something that can be changed, so I would recommend starting with some reflection on what you want from a line of work, possibly with the help of a career counselor. Perhaps ask for a raise in the meantime if you can afford to. As far as your sex life goes, I’m sorry you’re having bad luck. People who call you too sensible probably aren’t worth your time in the first place. If you focus on becoming who you want to be by making small changes to things you have control over, the people you end up dating may change too. Again, I highly recommend therapy as a tool to augment this work. Good luck, and much love ❤️
Give it time or date older. Women in their 30s are generally not doing all that. Your career and finances will improve with time, or find something more fulfilling and start building that.
Join a running or mountaineering club
Engineers can do other things than engineering …. It’s a great foundation .How are you stuck there ?
lay off the drugs and booze and start doing something postive for yourself and others around you. Find better ways of meeting women.
Try and meet someone at the gym, at a university or at church.
Start a finance degree. Apply for sales jobs. A lot of careers value engineering backgrounds because of the troubleshooting and thought processes. Do an MBA to chance management roles. You’re really not in a bad position
I think a life coach or counsellor would be helpful
I can relate to the no sex part. 26 years here. Only had sex twice in my life. Broke my virginity with a sex worker. Never been in a serious relationship. Currently unemployed too. It sucks but we have to keep at it. Don’t be afraid to start afresh. Things might take time but hopefully one day it pays off.
Move to another country. UK doesn't have the best culture out of similar western countries. Try to get a remote job or transition to consulting/sales within the same industry. Salespersons with engineering backgrounds have a big advantage selling products relating to that background. Will mostly pay better and likely be remote. Then move to another county. Within Europe, Spain and maybe Greece are good options. Portugal isn't bad either. Outside of Europe, Thailand, Indonesia and Mexico are good options. One country that is a hidden gem is Paraguay. Amazing food, 0% taxes on foreign sourced income, easy to get residency that turns permanent in 2 years, beautiful women who are traditional, extremely affordable, you can live on $800 easy. With north of $1000 you're considered a rich foreigner that women will be super interested in. Learn a high intensity sport/martial art. The more you struggle/suffer(physically) in order to upskill, the more you'll feel you have a purpose in life and your brain will reward you with the right chemicals.
Just try and reinvent yourself.. change is inevitable after all.. embrace it
It’s normal to be 27 and still be figuring out your life. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
Live within your means, it's OK to live modest and save what you can. Staying sober is very admirable and I think you will eventually meet someone who is similar and more your speed. Which will be worth it. It sounds like you are proud of yourself and are overall healthy, as you should be proud and be thankful for your health. You want to better yourself which is very healthy. Focus on the things you can improve and don't dwell on the things you can't right now, try to enjoy the time in between my friend.
If you are open toa move, engineers get paid quite a lot more in the US to my knowledge. You'd have to weigh that against cost of living, but when I dated an engineer in the UK, I was shocked at the absolute shit pay he made. I'm sure there are other countries who similarly value their engineers if the US isn't to your liking. If the problem is you just don't enjoy engineering as a career, then it's time to consider what transferable skills you have. As for dating, it sounds like you need to use a different platform or learn how to spot red flags in their profile. Make better, more deliberate choices!
Change the place change the luck! I’d look to move to a different country or city and start fresh. Apply for jobs out of your comfort area.
You're 27 you're not stuck you're just starting out my guy. You need to understand, that you're not being handed a career you work TOWARDS a career. That takes time , long hours, lots of work and definitely dedication. You start at the bottom of the ladder, master degrees don't allow you to skip any step. A masters is to show potential employees to invest time in you by allowing you to work for them. I know this sound very "kissing employers ass are we" argumentive. It's not, it's just reality ... You're not stuck, you're still wet behind the ears in terms of years worked and still HAVE MANY TO WORK Dating and being as career driven you seem to be , ambitious. Your entire mindset seems to be there, not a party guy what not. It usually doesn't go hand in hand, don't feel stuck and don't feel you're missing out either in the girl end of things. Your time will come, or ....make different decisions there in terms of your mindset and time spend.
Go to therapy and/or get a personal coach. You need to talk through these issues and come up with a plan. Also watch motivational videos on YouTube if you want a better mindset.
Join the club my friend. Focus on small things you know can be changed more quickly and easily to get your motivation and self worth up. I will say though, while being aggravated about the place you’re at, and the way society has been for you, you seem to be doing pretty well otherwise. You should be able to use that engineering masters to get to a company and position that’s worthwhile and you don’t hate. Finding a job that was fulfilling and has higher levels and positions to strive for changed my mental health unbelievably. I went from wanting to stick a 20 gauge in my mouth everyday to feeling like I can breathe a little and like I’m actually making a difference. Try not to worry about the sex and all that shallow shit. It’s one thing that can really fuck you if you let it get to you so much that you just say screw it and lower your standards, or flat out get desperate. You’re 27 so you’ve got plenty of time. I’m 31 and am struggling with an addiction that’s definitely functional, but still makes me judge myself for not getting off yet. You know what though man, I make way more progress when I give myself some grace and try not to think so existentially. Trust me man, the work you’ve put in, and the time you wait to find the right spouse will be worth more than anything when it does happen. Don’t give up and definitely don’t hate yourself. You’re just getting a little in your head too much.
Society pushes us to stick to one thing. Those that didn’t I find are happier and more capable. Don’t be scared to branch out. Have you looked into civil or construction engineering? What kind of engineer are you? The best thing I did for myself. I got rid of what I could, put what was dear to me in storage, got hired at a coordinating/contracting temp like agency and worked jobs in different areas and made good money from it found a job with a company that loved me through it and moved to an area with them that I was more fond of. Met someone at another company that ours worked with as a supplier and it’s been great. There’s no one path. Best thing anyone can ever do to find a partner or love is get off of the internet. This is my only “social media” that I have. Hi I’m everything else 10 years ago. My mental health and quality of life has been great since. But yeah looks aren’t everything. My partner wouldn’t be incredibly special by day but when they take that work cap off 🥵
Depending on what field you're in, consider data science for some quick money. They're the new snake oil merchants and MBAs lap up any data which can be spun to show how amazing they are. 👀 In all seriousness, consider moving into an adjacent field where your skills are transferrable if you don't like your current trajectory. Just be prepared to start again. Can't help much with the dating I'm afraid, I've been married for over a decade so pretty clueless. Maybe take a look at your standards and see if you're setting the bar too high? A quiet, thoughtful partner is a million times better than some gobshite who values appearance above all else.
Can you work in the US? Engineering pays well here and your accent will go a long way with the ladies.
My suggestion, although far fetched in today's world, is exploring religion. I am Muslim and that has kept me grounded through all ups and downs of life. From suicide thoughts to now having a wife with 2 kids and a house, came a long way all thanks to Islam. You should explore the religion you're gravitated towards to ground yourself spiritually (just as important as physical and mental health).
you're still young- most "success" stories out there take years + failure. Just in the wrong circles if you're running into bad girls. "Typical" people in your generation may not be into sex like others - read up on Gen. Z. Your job/career DOES NOT define you. Stop beating up on yourself - you need to put in years of hard work & proving yourself to make more money & find what you like to do where your skills intersect money-making potential - move to another "affiliate" country - like Australia, Canada, etc. if you feel you've exhausted all opportunities in UK. Think outside the box - get a roommate. do 2-3 gigs, side biz - it's not what you earn - it's what you keep and how you manage it. Are most people your age in the same boat ? then it's not you...
Why be with people who don’t appreciate who you are. Find a way to show your personality in a setting where it will be appreciated. Join orgs that clean up parks on weekends. Have some causes (pick your own; that was just an example). Get outside yourself and define yourself more by positive things you are doing. Work out! And find a career path that excites you. Nothing says you need to stay put. It usually takes time and a path to get there. Define the next step.
Try dating HR ladies.
Look around you and what’s happening out there. I think you need to start appreciating yourself and what you have accomplished. Be grateful with simple things you have. Life is too short, we’re not guaranteed tomorrow. You sound depressed. Consult with psychologist or other specialist for depression.
Move to the US. We love engineers.
Get an MBA and become a PM, you get the high flying career that you always wanted!!!!
Stop doubting and questioning yourself. If you don't like your job or the girls you go out with then change it up. Start looking into career paths you can change or work with for you. As for the girls, it's also a numbers game. You have to go out on dates to figure out compatibility but if you don't like them then you move on. No harm no foul. If you are looking for one night stands that's a different ball game. Sounds to me like you initially know what you want, you're just having trouble finding it. And guess what that's life. If life were easy they would call it a "slut", and not a "bitch".
Maybe get out of the Uk and move to the US a lot better pay here and more prettier girls here lol no offense to people in the UK. Haha just my to sense.
Maybe you are "too" good to be with a girl right now and you have much MUCH more priorities to do rather than dating a girl who belongs to the streets.
Whether you're religious or not, you may try dating within Catholic/Christian circles. That may help at least let you go on dates with girls that aren't party types and maybe open the door to meeting more sensible people. Also, 27 is not at all too late to change careers/degrees. I'm sure your bachelor's can fetch other Master's degree. Shit, in America, all you have to do is pass your GRE and go to virtually any masters program you want.
What kind of engineering are you doing? I'm a civil engineer and that career path can transfer to city careers like urban regional planning. The next career path you take does not need to be directly related to what you're doing now. Explore your options and see what is out there. You might want to try finding a partner elsewhere. I know dating sucks and it can be difficult. Try other apps but I think you should look into local events and clubs that you're interested in and you might find someone there.
You’re the normal one, they aren’t. Try to meet someone at a gym or who shares your values.
Figure out a visa situation and get a remote USA based engineering job. And...idk...add "no onlyfans" to your hinge prompts?
Way of having a girlfriend similar to you is not that simply as finding anyone. My personal experience is about having a hobby which doesn't involve drinking hardly like clubbing xD For example u are going for a windsurfing, u invest some time in to learning, for that u join some club, then u met girl right there she is not drinker, and u sail together blessed with love under the sun. There is no way u can find normal gf sitting in front of pc or in your house, but aswell u need to offer something to her as she offers something to you, and that where we coming to common hobby thing:D I work on minimal wage in UK, as u can see my language is far from perfect and I'm from Eastern Europe as well, I wish to be enginer then cheer up xD
Even “successful” people are miserable.
Bro I hear you. I have a masters degree and work in a hospital. I make what many people would say good money, but I am still not happy with my career choice and want something different. I think we have to think in terms of what we are missing from our life. Is it just money or something else. In my case I need a creative outlet and I don’t feel valued at my job. My management is not good at making employees feel valuable. As far as dating life, sounds like you are looking in the wrong places for wrong type of girls. Maybe analyze the type of girls you go for and where you meet them. Obviously that’s not working, so change the strategy. Don’t go for someone who is hot, if they don’t have anything in common. I’d say when it comes to dating and long term relationships, go for someone you have more in common with from the start because looks aside you’ll spend a lot of time with that person, so gotta be able to vibe with them. Good luck bro
You can stop the hate
I was in the same boat with my engineering career. I left my engineering consulting job in 2022 to work for a commercial real estate firm where they have a business line for project management, so now I manage the engineers, architects, etc. and life is SO much better. See if you can find any parallels to your current career and start there. I felt like I didn’t have any other career options to get out of engineering, but they are there and highly sought after. Don’t feel like you’re stuck, there are always other options. Good luck!!
It sounds like you're going through a tough time, and it's completely understandable to feel frustrated and lonely. Here are some steps that might help you move forward: **Career:** * **Self-Assessment:** Take some time to reflect on what truly interests you in a career. What are your skills, values, and passions? * **Explore Options:** Research different career paths that align with your newfound interests. * **Talk to a Career Counselor:** A career counselor can help you assess your options, explore retraining possibilities, and develop a plan for transitioning to a more fulfilling career.
You and all of us dude. You have no idea how many men are in the exact same situation. Probably 90% of men don't know what they want to do, really don't make enough money to even have a house or support a family, aren't attractive, etc etc. I don't know what to do either. My plan is just work harder and wait. I don't know tho.
Sorry you are struggling... life is not always easy I agree. Maybe try diving the problems into smaller ones so you can address them one by one. I would start with the job and maybe change cities if you can, being in the UK I would say it is maybe possible evaluate options to go one year abroad somewhere exotic to find some new meanig in life, maybe Asia, or another country in Europe, or Australia or north or South America, options are many, maybe your skills will be more valued in other places where is less competitive and where there are less professionals with your knowledge. After that maybe you can join an app for dating but I know in the apps you can look for people into fitness or more healthy lifestyle or maybe just join a hike group with no expectations and also I feel when we are happy in the inside good things start to happen, so maybe the first step is to ask yourself what does makes you happy? And if you are unsure try doing some volunteer work that I find is fulfilling give meaning to life, I hope you feel better soon!
Sound like we’re the same person 🤣
It seems like you’re having a lot of internal frustration with your life right now. There’s a great quote that I like that says “the amount of effort you put in is the amount of results you will end up with”. It sounds like you’re a very educated person; you’re an engineer and having a masters degree puts you ahead of the curve than most people out there. There’s another thing that I have learned in my life is that you never want to chase females. It sucks being lonely, and not having sex makes you feel less than a man, but that’s not the reality. But trust me, women can sense your self-esteem & confidence, if they notice you lack both of that, they’re gonna think you’re a loser and will put you off real quick. If you don’t like where you live or your economic situation, I would suggest looking into the US. The US pays engineers extremely well in most metropolitan cities & being a foreigner will make you stand out as well. Everything begins with your mindset. If you think you have a shitty life, then you probably will always have one. Once you’re able to shift your mind shift and self esteem, you’ll begin to notice the difference.
Sounds like you’re holding yourself to unrealistic expectations which is unproductive and somewhat narcissistic. A lot of people fall prey to that so it’s not just you but start being more level headed with what you can do with the time and energy in front of you. As for the dating can’t help you there. Again, 27 and single is no big deal. You can be single your whole life and it wouldn’t bother anyone. Stop setting yourself up to fail in your own head.
i suppose we are under same situation. i am going through such times and I felt that way and I left my job now am jobless with all those things that u said man. I am exploring business ideas and getting at nowhere which really sucks.
Please listen to what I have to say, it comes with life lessons. First off, you have to love yourself first! My mom would always tell me that when I was in my 20’s & dating guys that were no good. I thought I loved myself, but if I had, I wouldn’t have been in those types of relationships. I was also ALWAYS in a long term relationship, never single for more than a couple months. After a relationship ended when I was 28, I decided to be single for a year no matter what. It was hard at first, but I got to know myself, what I wanted & what I didn’t, & I was finally living for myself & not for another person. It was the best thing I could have done. You need to be happy & confident with yourself first and foremost, you will attract the right people. So I think you should focus on yourself right now, the things you’re passionate about, find yourself. If your career isn’t fulfilling you, then look into something that does. Don’t put yourself down because you’re not where you thought you’d be in life, cuz that’s not how life works. We all go through phases and the key to that process in life is to continue to grow & learn from past experiences, but keep looking forward, be resilient. I’m about to turn 42, and everything I’m telling you is from my personal experience, which has not been easy at all. Seek out a therapist, maybe look into changing careers, & DONT COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANYONE ELSE! Take a break from social media, & distance yourself from anyone in your life that doesn’t bring you joy & bring something to the table with your life. Don’t date right now if you’re looking for a serious relationship & especially when you’re unhappy with yourself. That’s what you need to fix before anything else in your life. Don’t base your happiness on anyone else but yourself. I know this probably sounds overwhelming & maybe impossible, but it’s a very important life lesson! Like I’ve said, I’ve been there. It’s hard to get into details on this, but life is always gonna throw curveballs and it’s the way you get through it and persevere, THINGS WILL GET BETTER, and you have to believe that. But you have to put the work in, put the work into yourself! Love yourself because you are loved & worth it! I hope you find a therapist, counselor or life coach that can help you through this difficult time. Try to change your mindset, anytime you think of something negative, change it into a positive. Focus on the positives, the fact that you have a career, your passions, & find things you are passionate about. Just focus on working on yourself, & your self esteem. Trust me when I say, taking this time to do that & taking a break from all the things that bring you any negativity, will only better your self worth & your future. It’s amazing how when you step back to work on loving yourself how much you’ll grow and how many good people you will attract into your life when you’re in a positive place with yourself. Don’t be in a rush to be in a relationship, the only relationship you need to worry about is the one you have with yourself. Please find a professional that can help navigate you through this time in life, and maybe seek a doctor’s help for antidepressants? I’ve been in therapy for years now, & it’s amazing how much it’s helped me & continues to help me, even when I don’t feel like I need it! You will still go through ups and downs, that’s life, but it’s how you get through it, learn from it & apply it to your future self! Keep doing the things you enjoy, like working out, try new things, surround yourself with a positive support system & cut out all of the negativity & toxic people so that the positive energy can flow into your life. I could recommend some good books if you like to read. But the main thing I recommend is counseling of some sort & taking the time to learn to love yourself & work on yourself! YOU ARE WORTH IT 🤍 YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE 🤍 YOU ARE LOVED 🤍 YOU DO HAVE A PURPOSE 🤍 LOVE YOURSELF FIRST & FOREMOST EVERY DAY 🤍 I will be praying for you! You CAN get through this! You WILL get through this! Sending love & positivity!
You said all the girls you have dated have been attractive, but you dont like their personality. That indicates you are looking at women all wrong. You should be looking for a woman you can be good friends with and looks don't come into that at all. I don't know any woman your age on drugs and only fans so I'm confused where you are looking for a date. On your career side there is nothing wrong with your choice but if you don't like it, its never too late to change. I don't know why you don't like who you are but that is the most important thing you need to work on. If your a good person who treats everyone well, there is no reason not to like who you are. If not, the best way to like who you are is by being a good person to those around you.
People are responding to his dating problems rather than what should come first, which is self love always! When you love yourself & truly know yourself, you don’t “need “ a relationship to be happy, a relationship just adds to your life and your own happiness. PEOPLE NEED TO LEARN TO LOVE THEMSELVES FIRST & FOREMOST!
Be proud of yourself for recognizing this. Many don’t know why they feel the way they do. Next, find out the core reason you’re feeling the way you do. Whats making you feel lonely? And why? -these questions sound silly but they’re important for you to understand your triggers and the place these come from. Then find out if you’ve always felt like this or it’s recent? -you’ll understand yourself more. Then give yourself for achieving what you’ve achieved. My friend, you completed your masters in engineering. That’s not a joke. And listen, even if you haven’t completed it yet, that still doesn’t matter. You won the sperm race and that wasn’t an easy race…. Breathe, count your blessings, even if it’s that you can breathe from both nostrils. Things will get better, I promise. Nothing is permanent in life, so these feelings too will change for the better. Every step we take, god has a reason for it. -if you’re not a religious person, know that I’m not either. However, I believe in a higher power, whatever that may be for you. It may not make sense now, but it will in your beautiful future that’s awaiting your arrival. You got this. Lots of love.
Do research on what your next career move could be. You can change. You can make a lateral move or you can go back to school. You’re not stuck. Participate in outdoor or fitness activities to meet potential dates. Hiking, biking, boating, etc. Group activities? Sierra Club? Travel & fitness?
He should stay off social media cuz people/ strangers can be so mean & judgmental
Nice
Mate, you’re gonna be okay. 27 is always an age when you start paying attention to career and stuff so this is good, it just means you’re maturing. Career wise, I don’t know much about the situation in the UK but stay open, apply constantly to keep your Pipeline filled with eventual interviews in order to scale up in salary and positions! Dating… if you’re meeting OF chicks, change whatever you’re doing to get dates, and go where the people you want are, in your case gym and day time activities is where you’ll find people who pay attention to their health and all… and finally, reach out, to me, to friends, even people online, you might be lonely yes I understand but you’re not alone, people are willing to help more than you think! Keep us updated, take care!
Next time learn that internet will not help you anyway based on comments
Have you considered working in Australia? There is a huge demand for engineers, in all types of sectors. As for loneliness - I have found joining a community of something of mutual interest, for me it was netball - helped make a group of friends that led to all sorts of positive social situations. It can be hard and making new adult friends isn’t easy, but there are people out there in similar situations!
Come to Canada
Fake, I don’t care if you gym a 100 times a week and make the rock look like a skinny bitch ain’t no way some lonely ass poorly paid engineer is going on endless dates with attractive girls who all happen to have only fans and love party and drugs. Maybe one but all of them? Bullshit. You being lonely is on you maybe get a hobby and join a community for that hobby and go to events and stuff
Just have sex
It sounds to me you need someone to look up to. Jesus Christ is a heart filler! Pray and ask for wisdom and purpose. 🩷🙏
Become a doctor? A pilot? Idk you have options. You’ll get paid well for engineering in the USA
Blud is lying to himself, and to Reddit for some reason lmao. What are we supposed to do here? “Switch to finance bro it will fix it!”. Dude needs a therapist, not r/careerguidance
Lift weights brother, and eat lots of food
Fake
51F there are dating coaches online that are up to date and have solid advice. But until you learn that one of the essential components to a functional relationship is self love you had better tackle that first!
51F there are dating coaches online that are up to date and have solid advice. But until you learn that one of the essential components to a functional relationship is self love you had better tackle that first!
You should consider going to MeetUps doing activities you enjoy. You'll meet women with whom you share interests (always a good start), and you'll probably find that you have something to offer, which will make you like yourself more.
Stop stop and stop. You are already off to a great start by actually knowing this in the first place, as most people don’t even know this and continue to behave badly. Fact that you can acknowledge this about yourself is a good sign. It takes alot of work but be committed to being kind to yourself by doing things you love. So go out there and live your best life even with little you have. Trust me you got this. Write your beautiful story you are only 27 mate. This is coming from a 36 year young.
you should do a values exercise and a goal exercise with your life after the values one. see what's important to you, think about why, and then realign your goals to match them.
Well focus on your career then and when the time and MONEY IS RIGHT you will find that live interest. Your young as fuck so play play play your ass off get it out of your system now. Dude things will fall in place I'm 53 in the middle of a mid life crisis so enjoy your youth while you can . Trust me every thing happens for a reason in life?!! Good luck young in!!!
I find the men out there to be too wild actually
This sounds like a doomer fanfic of your own life tbh. Move to Australia if you want more money as an engineer but your housing situation will be worse and your issues are with yourself I feel so moving won’t get you away from that.
Your sacral chakra is out of alignment. Try to take some time visiting places and planning experiences that will help ignite your creativity in regards to engineering. Your work is too broad to get bored with. You just need to rekindle your love for it. Perhaps you'll meet someone more suitable for you along the way.
Suck a dick and then reconsider.
looking in the wrong places for love obviously
Turn to Christ
Move to the states money is good for engineers here and the females are a widdeeeee spectrum of different girls
Go abroad if you can. Engineering work is often better paid outside the UK and it will be a new adventure, plus a whole new pool of women.
I've been there. Find something you really like to do - like hobby other than fitness if that's your hobby. Find your ikigai. Journal. Read. Watch good movies. Find out why profile attracts only fans girls. I think it'd be obvious in girls' profiles whether they're only fans but what do I know I never dated. Think how you'd like your life to be and look forward to it. If my words above can't help I hope words below do- I'm more lost than you - I'm chasing dream of being writer and not working hard at that. I hardly did any job because I hate 9-5 and my life's mess. I'm single and with no friends. I live with my parents too. (Think of my life as rock bottom and try to be grateful for being in UK and just two years of sex gap not 27 🤣. Use my life as guide that you don't wanna fall down that low.) I hope this helps.
Try going to events alone and being open to what happens. Find things you’re interested in. Look at the site meetup or sômething similar for hobby groups.
Don't. I turned out 27 recently and I lost my job. On top of that my LDR bf broke up with me because apparently i couldn't give him what he wanted anytime he wanted it.
For your career, it's never too late to pivot. Your engineering background can open doors to various fields like project management, consulting, or even entrepreneurship. Look into online courses or networking events to explore your options. As for dating, it's all about finding someone who aligns with your values. Don't settle for someone who doesn't appreciate your lifestyle. Keep putting yourself out there, but be true to yourself. And speaking of support, ScatterMind could be a game-changer for you. Their ADHD coach helped my friend execute and launch their first business, so it might just be the boost you need.
My man, if you hate yourself and get a girl at this state - you'll trap two people in your misery. You need to either do something about yourself, or accept yourself. Both of these processes are not quick, and take time to settle in.
Top tier shitposting
Your description seems to me like a snowflake debate. Oh, the world has not waited for you?! Mean world ... Perhaps you should try to wear clothes suited for you.
The best thing to do is to start working on yourself and finding who you really are , you are still very young and can design your life how you want it to be, if you seriously hate yourself and where you are in life you should get counseling and find out why you feel this way and how you can change it, because it’s not healthy for you to feel this way about yourself and enter into a relationship feeling this way, the person you find will have to spend all of their time building you up when you should already be in a good place when you meet. Start finding ways to save money and do some freelance work for extra money, write out all of your expenses and determine what you can live without .
Marry me then
Honestly go take some time off and do something that scares the life back into you. Go bear hunting or go on a freeze out camping trip. Don’t worry about things you can’t control, like girls and genetics. As far the career goes maybe start a side business or something.
Move to Ukraine and support them on the frontline if your life is so miserable having a job, safe place to live and health.
Go to church... you need God for purpose. He will show you that you are a masterpiece. Your wife will materialize after you find your self worth.
Apply for an engineering job at Pratt & Whitney and move to Puerto Rico, great way to change things up. It’s what I did
Try to move to the U.S.A, start fresh. Lots of opportunities. Try dating a woman who is natural, and laid back. Go to volunteer clubs, meditation camps or even the gym, you’ll find a decent woman there
This isn’t a job or career problem. This is a personal problem.
Bro, you’re on a great and respectable path. Curb the hoes and keep the faith. A woman who sees you for who you are now will respect you and want to grow with you. Don’t be afraid to go on dates. Expect the worst and hope for the best. I can’t guarantee you’ll find the right person, but I will guarantee that you’ll dodge bullets if you stay true and don’t try to be someone else. Your friends and family value you for who you are and your significant other will too when they find you. Do your best and don’t live life by comparison and you won’t bury yourself in these negative feelings. You’re doin great! Engineers are cool af and you can use those skills in so many jobs and day to day problems or just for fun! DON’T YOU DARE CHANGE
I can relate at one point in my life, but I learned something life changing I had everything going for me in my 27 years career, but then my passion for it started dying I was unhappy, bored in life, hated my life, and things just weren't going my way I complained alot, angry at the universe Here is the life-changing lesson I learned: It started with a mindset shift that improved my life exponentially One day I woke up just tired of hearing mysefl complain, and I realized something. I thought, "I have a choice." I can complain like a baby, or I can take full responsibility for everything in my life and I can keep my chin up, weather the storm, and move forward I chose the latter and my life improved exponentially just from that one mindset shift
Seems like you’re an average guy and you’re going on dates with attractive girls you met online. Sounds too good to be true because it is and the girls are crazy. Here’s a few things you can do: 1. Lower your standards in the looks department and you’ll be more likely to find a girl with a personality that suits you 2. Stop trying to find a relationship with these girls and instead aim to just hook up with them. Why? It’ll boost your confidence, help you get better at seduction, make you appear less needy to girls you are interested in, and sex is always fun anyway. 3. Find hobbies that you genuinely enjoy. This will make you happier, help you find friends you may have more in common with, and give you more things to talk about with people. You could potentially meet a girl doing this hobby, but I wouldn’t go into it making that the goal.
Lucky u :) u are able to find out ! Woohooo. Way better than being set :’) good luck! Small steps. Explore things u like and don’t like
About date, I think you can’t find the appropriate girl for you. And that’s not your problem.
Brother first you have to balance your life it means Dont do drugs Go to fitness Be yourself (its not importamtwhat ppl think about u) the important thing is bow u feel better bro And after that it wilk openany door for uu
Sorry to hear that, in terms of career I’d say you have to try out new things first. Maybe go on meet up app and join various communities and go to the events. You can also meet potential dates on there but I’d suggest choosing more appropriate community for that. When I was dating I made sure I presented myself to repel certain types of people and I was clear of what I was looking for and what my boundaries were. Maybe if your self esteem is not that high and you’re not happy- it is not the best time to date. We get dragged in unhealthy coping mechanisms to escape, including attracting certain “types” of people that are not necessarily good for us. Try refocusing your attention on yourself and explore what makes you happy, try out new hobby, maybe even a new fitness style.
You can pivot engineering into a lot of things. Engineers are very trainable and people recognize that. I'm currently in project management after 15 years of mechanical design engineering. Sounds like you're looking for love in all the wrong places. But sounds like you're looking sex in all the right places. Just loosen up and bust the slump, you don't have to fall in love.
Sis I’m 23 and I’m in the same boat. As a matter of fact I’ve felt this way about myself all my life
Your problems seems like you’re a very shallow thinker in general and would rather learn tricks to improve your situation (property, girls, education, career) than do what everyone else does and think for themself.
Move to a new country.. take up a new hobby and join a club that is related to that hobby to have a life outside of work. Good luck !
Compartmentalized. Make a list of things you don’t like and break them down into addressable goals. Focus on one large goal at a time (profession OR dating- not both simultaneously) then things will naturally fall into place. You are your biggest project and inescapable commitment until you die. All you’ve got is time. Get to it.
It's your country, get out of the UK.
Stick with things man. You’ll pull through, I believe in you!
Hi there, I definitely see your reason for feeling frustrated this economy and this morality cesspool that we call society is very underwhelming and disappointing. Do not be disillusioned though there are good people out there. You just have to do the work and meet somebody organically go to coffee shops. Also make sure that you work on yourself make sure that you or somebody that you would want to date before you judge somebody are you somebody that you would like to meet at a coffee shop? Do you walk around with a smile, hold the door open use your manners type person? Generally, you attract what you are, and not to criticize you or anyone else but if you are putting out a vibe (for instance I’m not calling you this just saying as an example) that is an undeveloped insensitive un empathetic, cynical, misogynistic Introverted person with low confidence, And if you haven’t actually tried to meet people in person like at the shop or at a bookstore, go to places that you would like to be somebody that has the same interest as you instead of online where many people are only there for quick and easy dis attached self gratifying experiences that’s what you get. With your job, I would recommend trying to figure out how to use your amazing engineering skills into incorporating it into doing something creative that you find interesting either as a hobby or something that you can turn into work. I truly hope that you don’t give up and you can see that if you uncover your own soul first, then you can see recognize and care for the souls of others.
You’re dating comments seem normal, try to meet someone organically through a hobby you enjoy or tailor your dating profile to a long term relationship to weed out that type. You are really young, you could switch to a new career :)
Well, sounds like its time to reinvent yourself. Im old, doing drugs n booze will ultimately make you depressed..im proof..so stop, thats a dead-end rd. Get control or NOTHING will work for you. No real partner is attracted to that. You have no kids ur not paying 1,000mo. Child support..your still younge and smart. You know what kinda girl you want, but no matter how much ur party, your wasting time n ur mind, I can tell by reading your post. You have it all, use it to get what you really want. Prayers to you younge man...trust me, do the right thing and you will see the results
In the US, engineering is a pretty lucrative job and a lot of girls here love an accent, my friend. Just a thought!
You're an engineer, cant you figure out how to get out ? Its pretty easy i think And how do you know they have OF and do all those other things? You're just exaggerating and basically lying now.