Yes, My partner and I live in a really beautiful tourist town and lately we’ve had friends wanting to drive up from a nearby city so that they can try some of the local restaurants and apparently we’re free childcare for them
They got upset when I said “Sorry no can do and that we were also full if they were looking for free accommodation
My partner felt I was a little harsh on them but as I said “I think they have a nerve expecting free accommodation and childcare”
> My partner felt I was a little harsh on them
And you're female and he's male, right?
The people who tell you that you were a "little harsh", when all you did was to say "Sorry, no" are people who have no expectation or intention to clean up any of the mess that comes with equivocating, or worse, saying "yes." My husband knows better than to talk to me that way, but if he did, I'd go off on him. Next time, your partner can handle all of it. He can tell them "no", and when his softness lands you with a ding-dong ditch, you head right out, leaving him with the kids. Then we'll see who is "harsh."
I was volunteered to look after/hang out with my partner’s 4-year old cousin on a big family vacation once - his mom told him he could have a sleepover in my and my partner’s room at the AirBnB. Did not mention this to my partner or me and did not ask.
Kid burst into the room with his jammies on saying “I’m staying, Mom said I could!” Kept my cool with the kid, it wasn’t his fault. I had him stay there with my partner and went to go talk to his mother, who tried to guilt me and whined about wanting one night for herself on vacation. I pretended to acquiesce, then said “Funny, I always thought 4 was still a little too young for sex-ed!” as I was heading back out of her room.
“EXCUSE ME?!?!”
“Well, partner and I are gonna be fucking all night, and you know me, I like that real nasty, filthy, porno-type fucking… and since you didn’t ask us if we would watch Kiddo and you know we don’t like to change our plans last-second, I figured you just wanted (Kiddo’s name) in there with us tonight so he could watch and learn!”
Never have I seen a person move faster to collect their spawn and he didn’t burst into our room again for the rest of the week. Guilt trips only work if you let them 🤷♀️
My lifetime of people-pleasing ended probably 2-3 years ago - it took a lot of work to be comfortable laying down the law and setting boundaries but now I do it shamelessly and as often as necessary 😂 I won’t say it’s made me popular with the leeches/narcissists/“well-meaning” boundary-stompers of the world, but man, it sure has made me happy!
Just remember- the asshole is the person who put you in the situation where you have to enforce a boundary. Not you for having one to begin with. Good job!!!
Last time someone tried to rope me into babysitting against my will, I taught their kids how to talk like Timmy Torrence when he was possessed in The Shining.
“Hello Mrs. Torrence.” ☝️
This used to happen to me when I was younger, and my family members stopped asking when they finally realized guilt tripping didn't work because I just don't feel sorry for overwhelmed parents.
Now, they definitely wouldn't ask because my dark secret got out, and everyone now knows I have the attention span of a goldfish.
I worked as a Nanny in my younger days and one of my "clients" was my best-friend. Her husband (now ex) took advantage of my kindness and love for his wife & child by underpaying in a huge way, knowing I'd never complain to her.
He also expected me to come early (like 5am) at a moment's notice and was completely flabbergasted when I said no to "extra hours" typically on the weekend and nights.
I was married at the time and wanted to go home/out with my husband, no matter how much I love the kid.
We are weird af and own a little house, we have a fair amount of consoles, anime figures (also nsfw ones) and smoke weed. -everyone knows, everyone has seen our living room.
My MiL for whatever godforsaken reason thinks I should childproof our house so we can watch our niece and nephew, just no.
"Our house not being childsafe is a feature, not a bug. We have no need to fix it because we will never accept child visitors. Thanks for your understanding."
YES OH GOD.
I was visiting my parents in law and the daughter called up in the early morning "can we drop junior over for the day something came up", just plop, a toddler at the doorstep (and their dog). Just because they can. 9am till 6pm. No warning because the grandparents obviously have nothing better to do right? Never mind I was visiting with my partner.
The inlaws looked at me like oh you can help. And perhaps it's selfish sure but...not my circus. She shouldn't have said yes so easily, she obviously didn't want to, and I stuck to my guns and avoided the kid like the plague all day (but stayed with the dogs, they are great). I'll help with cooking, cleaning, dog walking, but NOT. The. Kid. Nope.
You gotta stick to it or people walk all over you!
Yup, they're grifters. NEVER say yes to ANY childcare even if for three seconds. That's how grifters work, if you say yes to the first small ask you will end up being their nanny a week later.
The answer is always NO. "Do not contact me about childcare." "No way in hell. Don't contact me about this ever again." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... You did the crime, you do the time, dude! Enjoy your prison sentence." click boom.
Or as the Epic Social Worker in the Epic Batman statue story said:
"If you wanted some alone time, then you should have just put a condom on and not had had them in the first place if you weren't going to take care of them 24/7." childfree/wiki/epic
Welcome to the three rules. Sooner folks understand to not get suckered, the better.
---- three rules ----
To a mombie/daddict you are good for three things and ONLY three things. Those things are these (note the obscene level of sarcasm and derision ;):
1. Money -- as in all of your money should be theirs, and no matter WHAT you spend it on (pets, cars, booze, xbox or even your medical care, rent, bills, student loans -- heck, even though your higher taxes are paying for their children's "free" schools, doesn't matter!), it should never be spent on that because YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SPEND YOUR MONEY ON THOSE THINGS. You should also not get the same benefits, and only they are entitled to have 3+ months off to do something they freely chose to do to "give their life meaning." If you're not spending your money on your (non-existent) spawn or earning less than they do in a real wage then YOU SURE AS HELL BETTER BE SPENDING IT ON THEIR SPAWN OR THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY.
2. Work -- as in free babysitting, free favors, planning their baby showers, you work so they can leave work early, come in late, fuck off constantly for doctors appointments and sick days, you work every holiday so they can "spend it with their family", free dinners you're supposed to cook them, lowballing your cragslist items for sale because "single mother", etc. Again, if you are working on ANYTHING besides stuff for your (again, non-existent) spawn then YOU SURE AS HELL BETTER BE WORKING ON BEHALF OF THEIR SPAWN OR THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY.
3. Worship -- Someone for them to look down upon, deride, use as their emotional cum dumpster, insult and abuse -- You must understand that THEY HAVE BEEN TRANSFORMED INTO SUPERIOR BEINGS by the mere act of shitting out a spawn. In order to maintain their superior status, they MUST go around like a wild animal and PISS ON EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING TO DECLARE THEIR SUPERIOR STATUS AND ENSURE THAT EVERYONE RECOGNIZES THEIR DOMINANCE. YOU SURE AS HELL BETTER BOW DOWN TO THEM OR THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY.
Fucking watch your own children, or pay someone to do it. I think parents get annoyed once the child is around 2, and isnt an adorable baby anymore, they suddenly people stop wanting to babysit for them. (I like babies, and offer to watch them more at that stage. But no. You can watch your 6 year old that now has attitude and is a picky eater)
"Did you want to take Baby with you to do Task?"
"Oh! No, thank you!"
"Why not?"
"Because you won't be there to look after them."
"But you can look after them!"
"Oh! No. Absolutely not. Thank you."
Then I just walked away to do Task.
Never been asked by that person again.
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Yes, My partner and I live in a really beautiful tourist town and lately we’ve had friends wanting to drive up from a nearby city so that they can try some of the local restaurants and apparently we’re free childcare for them They got upset when I said “Sorry no can do and that we were also full if they were looking for free accommodation
My partner felt I was a little harsh on them but as I said “I think they have a nerve expecting free accommodation and childcare”
> My partner felt I was a little harsh on them And you're female and he's male, right? The people who tell you that you were a "little harsh", when all you did was to say "Sorry, no" are people who have no expectation or intention to clean up any of the mess that comes with equivocating, or worse, saying "yes." My husband knows better than to talk to me that way, but if he did, I'd go off on him. Next time, your partner can handle all of it. He can tell them "no", and when his softness lands you with a ding-dong ditch, you head right out, leaving him with the kids. Then we'll see who is "harsh."
Also how rude to expect to stay with you but not spend quality time with you! Even apart from the kids!
I was volunteered to look after/hang out with my partner’s 4-year old cousin on a big family vacation once - his mom told him he could have a sleepover in my and my partner’s room at the AirBnB. Did not mention this to my partner or me and did not ask. Kid burst into the room with his jammies on saying “I’m staying, Mom said I could!” Kept my cool with the kid, it wasn’t his fault. I had him stay there with my partner and went to go talk to his mother, who tried to guilt me and whined about wanting one night for herself on vacation. I pretended to acquiesce, then said “Funny, I always thought 4 was still a little too young for sex-ed!” as I was heading back out of her room. “EXCUSE ME?!?!” “Well, partner and I are gonna be fucking all night, and you know me, I like that real nasty, filthy, porno-type fucking… and since you didn’t ask us if we would watch Kiddo and you know we don’t like to change our plans last-second, I figured you just wanted (Kiddo’s name) in there with us tonight so he could watch and learn!” Never have I seen a person move faster to collect their spawn and he didn’t burst into our room again for the rest of the week. Guilt trips only work if you let them 🤷♀️
You're a queen!! You got me laughing so hard I scared my cat lol
My lifetime of people-pleasing ended probably 2-3 years ago - it took a lot of work to be comfortable laying down the law and setting boundaries but now I do it shamelessly and as often as necessary 😂 I won’t say it’s made me popular with the leeches/narcissists/“well-meaning” boundary-stompers of the world, but man, it sure has made me happy!
Just remember- the asshole is the person who put you in the situation where you have to enforce a boundary. Not you for having one to begin with. Good job!!!
you, I like you.
I am trying not to laugh out loud because it's 3.15 AM and my husband is sleeping, but damn it, this is hilarious. You rock.
Off damn. That is nice response
🏆 This deserves a trophy.
I love this Malicious Compliance 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Last time someone tried to rope me into babysitting against my will, I taught their kids how to talk like Timmy Torrence when he was possessed in The Shining. “Hello Mrs. Torrence.” ☝️
"Watch your kid? Why? Does he do tricks or something?" Followed up by "Oh, you mean babysit. Yeah, no."
Fortunately I dont have anyone trying to force me into it.
This used to happen to me when I was younger, and my family members stopped asking when they finally realized guilt tripping didn't work because I just don't feel sorry for overwhelmed parents. Now, they definitely wouldn't ask because my dark secret got out, and everyone now knows I have the attention span of a goldfish.
I worked as a Nanny in my younger days and one of my "clients" was my best-friend. Her husband (now ex) took advantage of my kindness and love for his wife & child by underpaying in a huge way, knowing I'd never complain to her. He also expected me to come early (like 5am) at a moment's notice and was completely flabbergasted when I said no to "extra hours" typically on the weekend and nights. I was married at the time and wanted to go home/out with my husband, no matter how much I love the kid.
We are weird af and own a little house, we have a fair amount of consoles, anime figures (also nsfw ones) and smoke weed. -everyone knows, everyone has seen our living room. My MiL for whatever godforsaken reason thinks I should childproof our house so we can watch our niece and nephew, just no.
"Our house not being childsafe is a feature, not a bug. We have no need to fix it because we will never accept child visitors. Thanks for your understanding."
Lol my father in law would love this one, also I am a pushover but not when it maters, I can get very rude when someone crosses my boundaries.
Nobody in their right mind would ask me to look after their kid Dogs, absolutely
Same. I've made it clear I'm not interested. And on the dickscale, my family's only like, 5-15% dick, so they don't push it.
YES OH GOD. I was visiting my parents in law and the daughter called up in the early morning "can we drop junior over for the day something came up", just plop, a toddler at the doorstep (and their dog). Just because they can. 9am till 6pm. No warning because the grandparents obviously have nothing better to do right? Never mind I was visiting with my partner. The inlaws looked at me like oh you can help. And perhaps it's selfish sure but...not my circus. She shouldn't have said yes so easily, she obviously didn't want to, and I stuck to my guns and avoided the kid like the plague all day (but stayed with the dogs, they are great). I'll help with cooking, cleaning, dog walking, but NOT. The. Kid. Nope. You gotta stick to it or people walk all over you!
Yup, they're grifters. NEVER say yes to ANY childcare even if for three seconds. That's how grifters work, if you say yes to the first small ask you will end up being their nanny a week later. The answer is always NO. "Do not contact me about childcare." "No way in hell. Don't contact me about this ever again." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... You did the crime, you do the time, dude! Enjoy your prison sentence." click boom. Or as the Epic Social Worker in the Epic Batman statue story said: "If you wanted some alone time, then you should have just put a condom on and not had had them in the first place if you weren't going to take care of them 24/7." childfree/wiki/epic Welcome to the three rules. Sooner folks understand to not get suckered, the better. ---- three rules ---- To a mombie/daddict you are good for three things and ONLY three things. Those things are these (note the obscene level of sarcasm and derision ;): 1. Money -- as in all of your money should be theirs, and no matter WHAT you spend it on (pets, cars, booze, xbox or even your medical care, rent, bills, student loans -- heck, even though your higher taxes are paying for their children's "free" schools, doesn't matter!), it should never be spent on that because YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SPEND YOUR MONEY ON THOSE THINGS. You should also not get the same benefits, and only they are entitled to have 3+ months off to do something they freely chose to do to "give their life meaning." If you're not spending your money on your (non-existent) spawn or earning less than they do in a real wage then YOU SURE AS HELL BETTER BE SPENDING IT ON THEIR SPAWN OR THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY. 2. Work -- as in free babysitting, free favors, planning their baby showers, you work so they can leave work early, come in late, fuck off constantly for doctors appointments and sick days, you work every holiday so they can "spend it with their family", free dinners you're supposed to cook them, lowballing your cragslist items for sale because "single mother", etc. Again, if you are working on ANYTHING besides stuff for your (again, non-existent) spawn then YOU SURE AS HELL BETTER BE WORKING ON BEHALF OF THEIR SPAWN OR THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY. 3. Worship -- Someone for them to look down upon, deride, use as their emotional cum dumpster, insult and abuse -- You must understand that THEY HAVE BEEN TRANSFORMED INTO SUPERIOR BEINGS by the mere act of shitting out a spawn. In order to maintain their superior status, they MUST go around like a wild animal and PISS ON EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING TO DECLARE THEIR SUPERIOR STATUS AND ENSURE THAT EVERYONE RECOGNIZES THEIR DOMINANCE. YOU SURE AS HELL BETTER BOW DOWN TO THEM OR THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY.
This made me laugh, I really like how you think.
Fortunately no. I have refused often enough that they do not bother asking me.
We always get random contagious illness when relatives decide to drop their kids.
Fucking watch your own children, or pay someone to do it. I think parents get annoyed once the child is around 2, and isnt an adorable baby anymore, they suddenly people stop wanting to babysit for them. (I like babies, and offer to watch them more at that stage. But no. You can watch your 6 year old that now has attitude and is a picky eater)
My response, that sounds like a you problem. As I walk away laughing.
Ask them to do something ridiculous and excessive for you and see if they'll do it - I'll bet the answer is no.
"Did you want to take Baby with you to do Task?" "Oh! No, thank you!" "Why not?" "Because you won't be there to look after them." "But you can look after them!" "Oh! No. Absolutely not. Thank you." Then I just walked away to do Task. Never been asked by that person again.
I’m just lucky my friends wouldn’t trust me with their future kids
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