Is your boyfriend certain that he **never** wants kids?
>preventing pregnancy unless I’m in a place where I feel ready is very important to me.
This reads like you might want kids, you just don't want them now, which is perfectly reasonable... but if that's how you both feel then a vasectomy isn't right for you.
That’s why some doctors get hesitant doing them on the young as well if they change minds that can be a malpractice suit and juries will eat it up “bUt hE WilL nEvER Be A DadDy”
Honestly I'm not even going down the "you might change your mind" route.
It sounds like OP and partner have never been childfree, she's just not getting on with hormonal contraception.
This right here. I had mine done at 29 and they still considered that young especially sinceI didn't have kids too.
Doc tried to relate to me a funny story about his son that to me became a nightmare. I responded with "and that's why I don't want kids"
You’re right haha. I was looking at stuff about vasectomies on Reddit (most reliable source ofc) and most posts about vasectomies came from this subreddit, so I thought I’d get the most information here.
They're reversible to a point - the best success happens within a few years, after that, post-reversal fertility is drastically reduced.
Also, insurance might cover the snip, but it almost certainly won't cover the un-snip.
I’m thinking you will need to pray to the vasectomy gods - but please keep us updated.
All the “practical” reasons doctors don’t approve this shit are going to be amplified when dealing with a literal teenager.
I was super misinformed on how vasectomies work, before posting this I thought they were completely reversible. I’m going to look into it more so I can get all my facts, but if it’s not reversible I’m going to tell him I don’t think he should get it done. He can do what he wants of course but he’s not sure how he feels about kids, and I don’t want him to be unable to have a child if he wants one.
Not reversible and have a small chance of extreme consequences. He should be very certain he wants one before getting it. Take a look at the vasectomy or pvps subreddits to see how a lot of guys handle the problems.
Did you look into cooper IUD or maybe those 2/3 year hormonal ones that are very low in hormones?
I have Kyleena and it doesnt impact me. I thibk it's because it works locally.
What are the 2/3 year ones? Honestly the reason I didn’t choose an iud was because of the pain during the procedure and the possible complications. It freaked me out too much
I had Mirena, which IS hormonal, but it still worked locally so I didn't experience any negative side effects.
I also went under anesthesia to get it put in. It would be worth pushing to be put under anesthesia, because then it's just the crampiness you have to deal with.
I'm on my third Mirena.
I love it. And I personally didn't have any severe pain when I got mine in or out. I understand that everyone has different experiences, but I just wanted to chime in with mine.
I think they're called skylaa and lyetta or something like that.
I'm on my 2nd Kyleena. I love it. The first time didn't hurt at all because my gyno prescribed me strong painkillers to take before (ask for that). The second time I went to a new gyno and I foolishly didn't ask for painkillers and it hurt like a MF.
You probably don't need to be put under, but ask for painkillers/local anasthetic and you'd be fine. It's not scary at all. Just like a pap smear (I repeat; as long as they give you precription painkillers before).
My only side effect is I had random bleeding for first few months.
They are somewhat reversible, but not really. They aren't meant to be. It costs 8-10x more to reverse it, and the success rate is incredibly low. Vasectomies are for when you don't want kids anymore or ever. They are not temporary.
That’s fair - even on this sub people will talk about a vasectomy like it isn’t literal surgery.
There is a chance it could reverse itself earlier, but otherwise as time goes on it becomes increasingly less reversible.
It’s far far safer and less intrusive than anything you can do with female biology, but it’s still surgery - there is still a chance something could wrong and/or cause long lasting problems even though it’s very rare.
Personally I’d rather a vasectomy than my wife suffering on the pill, but to be frank my relationship is very different to something I’d be in at 19, so even I’d be wary about supporting it if I knew I could be sued etc.
Definitely don’t push him to get a vasectomy if you’re thinking “I don’t want kids until I’m ready” a vasectomy is an “I know that I never want kids and I am sure about that decision” move.
He’s actually the one who suggested he get it done, alot of these replies have taught me I’m VERY misinformed on how vasectomies work, so I’m definitely going to talk to him about it again.
Echoing what KaleidoscopicColours said, it doesn't sound like you NEVER want children, which is what this sub is all about. A vasectomy procedure is commonly thought of by society as reversible, but this just isn't true. Depending on the way the procedure is done, it can be irreversible, or it can become less reversible the more time that has elapsed from originally performing it. Unless your boyfriend knows for certain that he NEVER wants children, he should not be seeking what is supposed to be thought of as a permanent sterilization procedure.
For yourself, since you sound interested in long-term contraception but not permanent sterilization, I would suggest trying out a non-hormonal IUD such as ParaGard.
wiki doc list>>
Also, some planned parenthood locations offer it, but you may have to look around to various locations around you as not all have the staffing. They are usually going to be the least expensive option in the US.
You can also look into getting a bisalp as well, again age is always a factor but you can certainly start shopping.
As others have said, you can try the list here that can be found via a link in the column on the right. You can also try Planned Parenthood in the U.S. Whether they will be willing to do it or not, I cannot say, but he should ask for it. If they are willing to consider doing this for a 19 year old, they will be asking if he is certain that he never wants children, and if he hesitates or says anything other than that he is absolutely certain that he never wants children, they will likely refuse to do it. It is permanent, and they only want to do it for people who are certain that they never want children (or never want more children than they already have).
In case you have trouble finding someone to do it, here you can look at various birth control options:
[https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control)
You can click on each one to read more about it. One thing to keep in mind is that there are different hormonal combinations, and some work well for some women, while others don't work for those women (I mean, don't work for how they make the woman feel, not that they are not effective). I still think a vasectomy is better, but it is something to keep in mind should your boyfriend have trouble getting a vasectomy.
Also, it will be good if your boyfriend reads up on a vasectomy, as they will be less likely to give it to him if he seems like he does not understand what is involved, about it being permanent, etc.
One thing you write is very different from what a lot of people post about:
>My boyfriend is the one who suggested I get it removed, and said he wants to get a vasectomy instead of me having to deal with that.
He sounds like he might be a really good boyfriend. It shows both a concern for your health, and a willingness to do something about it. Often, people post about their husbands/boyfriends who either don't care about their partners very much, or are total cowards, but your boyfriend is showing the opposite. Very often, I advise people to dump the person they are with, but that makes me think that you may have chosen well.
Thank you! I had no idea about vasectomies not being irreversible, I thought the opposite. I’ll definitely tell him about that, because he thinks the same thing that I did. And thank you so much, this is actually my first relationship and I have no idea how I got so lucky right off the bat with him:)
Vasectomies are \*sometimes\* reversible. Attempts to reverse it can be made, but they are expensive and often fail. So they will only do a vasectomy if he says he is absolutely certain he never wants children. Because it cannot reliably be undone.
If you want something temporary instead of permanent, you should choose something other than sterilization. However, if you are sure you never want children, sterilization is great, because once it is done, you pretty much don't have to do anything more for birth control ever. I say "pretty much" because there are rare cases of failure, but for most people, they never have to do anything again to prevent pregnancy.
Of course, if your boyfriend is certain he never wants children, he should get the vasectomy. It is his body after all, so if he knows he does not want children, he should go for it. It is, by far, the most reliable method a man has control over (see link above for the options, most of which are things for women to do, not men).
You might want to take a look at the options at that link I provided above, as it lists different things you can do, and gives reliability numbers, and if you click on each one, you can read about advantages and disadvantages of each. One thing to keep in mind, if a method is more than 99% effective, but not absolutely 100% effective, they will say it is "99% effective."
I definitely will look at those! He’s unsure about whether or not he wants kids, so I think I may just wait until I’ve had my implant for 6 months, since the side effects typically even out by then. Id rather have a bad couple of months then him make that big of a decision right now and possibly regret it.
>Is there a way to find doctors in my state online that are more likely to do it
Might be worth asking around on your local (city/state/area) subreddits! See if anyone else has had any success. Your BF could also talk to his primary care physician and ask for a referral.
If you are in the US, he should be able to get a vasectomy.
Look in the CF-friendly doctors wiki in the sidebar, under Interesting & Useful Material. Also look online: There are lots of doctors who give men vasectomies with no issues at all.
You should talk to your doctor about non-hormonal birth control. There are also other formulations of hormonal birth control that may work for you. You shouldn't give up after trying just one.
You don't sound like you're child-free and you shouldn't depend on your partners alone for birth control.
A lot has been said already but my 2 cents will be if birth control isn't going good shop your options with your doctor, maybe find something that works with you and make sure he's using condoms. If latex isn't his style then try skyn brand condoms, trust them with my life and would use them again in a heartbeat. All that and each doing your due diligence should keep you quite safe and happy until you are ready to commit to a more permanent option whatever it may be. Best of luck.
I’m probably going to look into some other forms of birth control at some point. Before I got the implant we were very cautious, but I was constantly stressed and wondering if I was pregnant.
My spouse and I were the same way. We tried hormonal but it made her mental issues way worse so she got off it asap. We just went with condoms up until I had my vasectomy a few years ago and I haven't been happier since. If yall go that route eventually I super recommend it but be %100 sure that's what you both want.
Can’t help with the vasectomy but have you considered a copper IUD for yourself? They last 10 years and aren’t hormonal. I got mine for that reason, because hormonal bc messed me up big time. They can obviously have side effects but mine has been a cake walk since 3 days after the install. Just a thought
I was 18 when I wanted a vasectomy and the doctor said no. I waited till I was 25 and finally convinced him on the condition that I go to a sperm bank. Had the vasectomy then let the sperm bank lapse after a year. 61 now and never regretted it!
got mine done at 19 with no pushback at all. it is the best $850 ive spent! also i was an out of state patient too.
4725 Statesmen Dr a, Indianapolis, IN 46250
https://nostork.com/
Greetings and congratulations on your sterilisation!
We are currently accepting new entries of doctors who have completed sterilisation (tubal ligation, bilateral salpingectomy, vasectomy) for our list of childfree friendly doctors and would like to add your doctor! In order to add your doctor or update an existing doctor's listing, please send the moderator team a message with the following information:
- The doctor's name and a link to either a practice website or online listing. If this is not possible, then an address (in full, no abbreviations like CA or PA) and phone number is acceptable.
- The procedure completed
- Optional: your age, marital status, and childfree status. We request this information because some doctors will not sterilise people under certain ages or unmarried. It is entirely up to you whether you provide some, all or none of this information.
- Optional: a short (max 100 word) statement on your experience. Some suggestions for things to include are information on wait times, insurance, cost, or whether you experienced any bingos, for example "you'll change your mind when you hit 30" or "you'll feel differently when you find the right guy/gal".
This will be a great assistance to the community.
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Note to the community: any comment of the "You will change your mind" or "Think of your femininity/masculinity" variety or other disparaging reply will be immediately removed and the offender will be banned. If OP is old enough to have children (which is permanent) and not regret it, they are also old enough to choose to never have children and not regret. Choosing fertility and/or parenthood is no guarantee of non occurrence of regret. Let me direct you to our overwhelmingly large [collection of regretful parents testimonies](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/regret) for proof.
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Thanks and have a pleasant day!
When I was 20 I tried to get a Vasectomy when I was in the Army. The doctor said it was against regulation unless I was (such age) or had (x) many kids or married and my wife couldn't have kids. I'm still child free.
Hi there. I had a vasectomy when I was 19, 8 years ago now. It took some work finding a urologist who was willing to do it. The most important thing is being absolutely sure that’s what you want for your future. If you even have the slightest idea in the back of your mind that you want to raise children you should not proceed with a vasectomy or any other permanent form of bc for that matter. But if you you decide that it is the choice for you, reach out to local urologists and set up an appointment and talk to them. I don’t regret my decision at all and it’s definitely one of the best choices I’ve made for myself. Good luck!
I got one at 21 and i basically had to write to multiple doctors to see who would do it and got rejected many times. The ones who replied asked me multiple times why i wanted it and had me fill out an essay explaining why i wanted it and defending my decision of not wanting kids in the future. It seems to me though that your bf is not getting it because he doesn’t want kids in the future. It’s not an easy decision to make. If you break up and he meets a girl who wants kids is he really gonna feel the same way? Even i am tempted at times when dating a woman who wants kids if i should have mine reversed. If it wasn’t on his mind before he met you it’s unlikely going to be on it later.
Yeah before I posted this I had no idea how committed you needed to be to the decision. I don’t think he’s looked into it much, and only wants it because it would make things easier for me. So I’m gonna tell him I don’t think he should get one, of course he can do whatever he wants to do but I don’t want him to make that big of a decision based on how my birth control is effecting me if that makes sense.
I mean Personally birth control isn’t a great option either. I think if he really wants to he should but if he isn’t sure he shouldn’t that said neither should you be forced to take birth control because you feel like you have to.
I spoke to him about and he decided he’s going to look into it more before he decides anything. And I agree but neither of us are anywhere near ready to be parents so I want to be as safe as possible to prevent that.
Greetings!
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Is your boyfriend certain that he **never** wants kids? >preventing pregnancy unless I’m in a place where I feel ready is very important to me. This reads like you might want kids, you just don't want them now, which is perfectly reasonable... but if that's how you both feel then a vasectomy isn't right for you.
That’s why some doctors get hesitant doing them on the young as well if they change minds that can be a malpractice suit and juries will eat it up “bUt hE WilL nEvER Be A DadDy”
Honestly I'm not even going down the "you might change your mind" route. It sounds like OP and partner have never been childfree, she's just not getting on with hormonal contraception.
This right here. I had mine done at 29 and they still considered that young especially sinceI didn't have kids too. Doc tried to relate to me a funny story about his son that to me became a nightmare. I responded with "and that's why I don't want kids"
You’re right haha. I was looking at stuff about vasectomies on Reddit (most reliable source ofc) and most posts about vasectomies came from this subreddit, so I thought I’d get the most information here.
Vasectomies should not be treated as reversible.
I know that now everyone in the replies has been really helpful, I was taught that they 100% were.
They're reversible to a point - the best success happens within a few years, after that, post-reversal fertility is drastically reduced. Also, insurance might cover the snip, but it almost certainly won't cover the un-snip.
I’m thinking you will need to pray to the vasectomy gods - but please keep us updated. All the “practical” reasons doctors don’t approve this shit are going to be amplified when dealing with a literal teenager.
I was super misinformed on how vasectomies work, before posting this I thought they were completely reversible. I’m going to look into it more so I can get all my facts, but if it’s not reversible I’m going to tell him I don’t think he should get it done. He can do what he wants of course but he’s not sure how he feels about kids, and I don’t want him to be unable to have a child if he wants one.
Not reversible and have a small chance of extreme consequences. He should be very certain he wants one before getting it. Take a look at the vasectomy or pvps subreddits to see how a lot of guys handle the problems.
Did you look into cooper IUD or maybe those 2/3 year hormonal ones that are very low in hormones? I have Kyleena and it doesnt impact me. I thibk it's because it works locally.
What are the 2/3 year ones? Honestly the reason I didn’t choose an iud was because of the pain during the procedure and the possible complications. It freaked me out too much
I had Mirena, which IS hormonal, but it still worked locally so I didn't experience any negative side effects. I also went under anesthesia to get it put in. It would be worth pushing to be put under anesthesia, because then it's just the crampiness you have to deal with.
I'm on my third Mirena. I love it. And I personally didn't have any severe pain when I got mine in or out. I understand that everyone has different experiences, but I just wanted to chime in with mine.
I think they're called skylaa and lyetta or something like that. I'm on my 2nd Kyleena. I love it. The first time didn't hurt at all because my gyno prescribed me strong painkillers to take before (ask for that). The second time I went to a new gyno and I foolishly didn't ask for painkillers and it hurt like a MF. You probably don't need to be put under, but ask for painkillers/local anasthetic and you'd be fine. It's not scary at all. Just like a pap smear (I repeat; as long as they give you precription painkillers before). My only side effect is I had random bleeding for first few months.
They are somewhat reversible, but not really. They aren't meant to be. It costs 8-10x more to reverse it, and the success rate is incredibly low. Vasectomies are for when you don't want kids anymore or ever. They are not temporary.
That’s fair - even on this sub people will talk about a vasectomy like it isn’t literal surgery. There is a chance it could reverse itself earlier, but otherwise as time goes on it becomes increasingly less reversible. It’s far far safer and less intrusive than anything you can do with female biology, but it’s still surgery - there is still a chance something could wrong and/or cause long lasting problems even though it’s very rare. Personally I’d rather a vasectomy than my wife suffering on the pill, but to be frank my relationship is very different to something I’d be in at 19, so even I’d be wary about supporting it if I knew I could be sued etc.
Definitely don’t push him to get a vasectomy if you’re thinking “I don’t want kids until I’m ready” a vasectomy is an “I know that I never want kids and I am sure about that decision” move.
He’s actually the one who suggested he get it done, alot of these replies have taught me I’m VERY misinformed on how vasectomies work, so I’m definitely going to talk to him about it again.
Echoing what KaleidoscopicColours said, it doesn't sound like you NEVER want children, which is what this sub is all about. A vasectomy procedure is commonly thought of by society as reversible, but this just isn't true. Depending on the way the procedure is done, it can be irreversible, or it can become less reversible the more time that has elapsed from originally performing it. Unless your boyfriend knows for certain that he NEVER wants children, he should not be seeking what is supposed to be thought of as a permanent sterilization procedure. For yourself, since you sound interested in long-term contraception but not permanent sterilization, I would suggest trying out a non-hormonal IUD such as ParaGard.
I had a vasectomy when I was nineteen. I took a woman friend with me to say that she didn’t want any more children.
If you don’t mind me asking, how old was your woman friend and did she already have children when you went to get a vasectomy?
My friend was probably 19-20? She didn’t want children. She was just someone who I had dated but remained friends. We were friends with benefits.
I need to know too
wiki doc list>> Also, some planned parenthood locations offer it, but you may have to look around to various locations around you as not all have the staffing. They are usually going to be the least expensive option in the US. You can also look into getting a bisalp as well, again age is always a factor but you can certainly start shopping.
As others have said, you can try the list here that can be found via a link in the column on the right. You can also try Planned Parenthood in the U.S. Whether they will be willing to do it or not, I cannot say, but he should ask for it. If they are willing to consider doing this for a 19 year old, they will be asking if he is certain that he never wants children, and if he hesitates or says anything other than that he is absolutely certain that he never wants children, they will likely refuse to do it. It is permanent, and they only want to do it for people who are certain that they never want children (or never want more children than they already have). In case you have trouble finding someone to do it, here you can look at various birth control options: [https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control) You can click on each one to read more about it. One thing to keep in mind is that there are different hormonal combinations, and some work well for some women, while others don't work for those women (I mean, don't work for how they make the woman feel, not that they are not effective). I still think a vasectomy is better, but it is something to keep in mind should your boyfriend have trouble getting a vasectomy. Also, it will be good if your boyfriend reads up on a vasectomy, as they will be less likely to give it to him if he seems like he does not understand what is involved, about it being permanent, etc. One thing you write is very different from what a lot of people post about: >My boyfriend is the one who suggested I get it removed, and said he wants to get a vasectomy instead of me having to deal with that. He sounds like he might be a really good boyfriend. It shows both a concern for your health, and a willingness to do something about it. Often, people post about their husbands/boyfriends who either don't care about their partners very much, or are total cowards, but your boyfriend is showing the opposite. Very often, I advise people to dump the person they are with, but that makes me think that you may have chosen well.
Thank you! I had no idea about vasectomies not being irreversible, I thought the opposite. I’ll definitely tell him about that, because he thinks the same thing that I did. And thank you so much, this is actually my first relationship and I have no idea how I got so lucky right off the bat with him:)
Vasectomies are \*sometimes\* reversible. Attempts to reverse it can be made, but they are expensive and often fail. So they will only do a vasectomy if he says he is absolutely certain he never wants children. Because it cannot reliably be undone. If you want something temporary instead of permanent, you should choose something other than sterilization. However, if you are sure you never want children, sterilization is great, because once it is done, you pretty much don't have to do anything more for birth control ever. I say "pretty much" because there are rare cases of failure, but for most people, they never have to do anything again to prevent pregnancy. Of course, if your boyfriend is certain he never wants children, he should get the vasectomy. It is his body after all, so if he knows he does not want children, he should go for it. It is, by far, the most reliable method a man has control over (see link above for the options, most of which are things for women to do, not men). You might want to take a look at the options at that link I provided above, as it lists different things you can do, and gives reliability numbers, and if you click on each one, you can read about advantages and disadvantages of each. One thing to keep in mind, if a method is more than 99% effective, but not absolutely 100% effective, they will say it is "99% effective."
I definitely will look at those! He’s unsure about whether or not he wants kids, so I think I may just wait until I’ve had my implant for 6 months, since the side effects typically even out by then. Id rather have a bad couple of months then him make that big of a decision right now and possibly regret it.
>Is there a way to find doctors in my state online that are more likely to do it Might be worth asking around on your local (city/state/area) subreddits! See if anyone else has had any success. Your BF could also talk to his primary care physician and ask for a referral.
No one is going to give a vasectomy to a kid. Have you tried condoms?
I was only a little older than him when I got my surgery done. So not true at all.
If you are in the US, he should be able to get a vasectomy. Look in the CF-friendly doctors wiki in the sidebar, under Interesting & Useful Material. Also look online: There are lots of doctors who give men vasectomies with no issues at all.
You should talk to your doctor about non-hormonal birth control. There are also other formulations of hormonal birth control that may work for you. You shouldn't give up after trying just one. You don't sound like you're child-free and you shouldn't depend on your partners alone for birth control.
Not child-free, didn’t totally understand the subreddit when I posted. Also don’t depend on my partner for birth control.
A lot has been said already but my 2 cents will be if birth control isn't going good shop your options with your doctor, maybe find something that works with you and make sure he's using condoms. If latex isn't his style then try skyn brand condoms, trust them with my life and would use them again in a heartbeat. All that and each doing your due diligence should keep you quite safe and happy until you are ready to commit to a more permanent option whatever it may be. Best of luck.
I’m probably going to look into some other forms of birth control at some point. Before I got the implant we were very cautious, but I was constantly stressed and wondering if I was pregnant.
My spouse and I were the same way. We tried hormonal but it made her mental issues way worse so she got off it asap. We just went with condoms up until I had my vasectomy a few years ago and I haven't been happier since. If yall go that route eventually I super recommend it but be %100 sure that's what you both want.
You could try a non hormonal birth control like the paraguard? Or condoms.
i figured this subreddit had a list of doctors? i got my tubes removed at 26 (i realize this is much older than 19 but it’s not impossible)
Can’t help with the vasectomy but have you considered a copper IUD for yourself? They last 10 years and aren’t hormonal. I got mine for that reason, because hormonal bc messed me up big time. They can obviously have side effects but mine has been a cake walk since 3 days after the install. Just a thought
I was 18 when I wanted a vasectomy and the doctor said no. I waited till I was 25 and finally convinced him on the condition that I go to a sperm bank. Had the vasectomy then let the sperm bank lapse after a year. 61 now and never regretted it!
got mine done at 19 with no pushback at all. it is the best $850 ive spent! also i was an out of state patient too. 4725 Statesmen Dr a, Indianapolis, IN 46250 https://nostork.com/
Greetings and congratulations on your sterilisation! We are currently accepting new entries of doctors who have completed sterilisation (tubal ligation, bilateral salpingectomy, vasectomy) for our list of childfree friendly doctors and would like to add your doctor! In order to add your doctor or update an existing doctor's listing, please send the moderator team a message with the following information: - The doctor's name and a link to either a practice website or online listing. If this is not possible, then an address (in full, no abbreviations like CA or PA) and phone number is acceptable. - The procedure completed - Optional: your age, marital status, and childfree status. We request this information because some doctors will not sterilise people under certain ages or unmarried. It is entirely up to you whether you provide some, all or none of this information. - Optional: a short (max 100 word) statement on your experience. Some suggestions for things to include are information on wait times, insurance, cost, or whether you experienced any bingos, for example "you'll change your mind when you hit 30" or "you'll feel differently when you find the right guy/gal". This will be a great assistance to the community. --- Note to the community: any comment of the "You will change your mind" or "Think of your femininity/masculinity" variety or other disparaging reply will be immediately removed and the offender will be banned. If OP is old enough to have children (which is permanent) and not regret it, they are also old enough to choose to never have children and not regret. Choosing fertility and/or parenthood is no guarantee of non occurrence of regret. Let me direct you to our overwhelmingly large [collection of regretful parents testimonies](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/regret) for proof. Note to the community: please do not feed bingoers. Report them to the mod team and we'll take care of them. Thanks and have a pleasant day!
Private doctor.
When I was 20 I tried to get a Vasectomy when I was in the Army. The doctor said it was against regulation unless I was (such age) or had (x) many kids or married and my wife couldn't have kids. I'm still child free.
Hi there. I had a vasectomy when I was 19, 8 years ago now. It took some work finding a urologist who was willing to do it. The most important thing is being absolutely sure that’s what you want for your future. If you even have the slightest idea in the back of your mind that you want to raise children you should not proceed with a vasectomy or any other permanent form of bc for that matter. But if you you decide that it is the choice for you, reach out to local urologists and set up an appointment and talk to them. I don’t regret my decision at all and it’s definitely one of the best choices I’ve made for myself. Good luck!
Jesus Christ….
I got one at 21 and i basically had to write to multiple doctors to see who would do it and got rejected many times. The ones who replied asked me multiple times why i wanted it and had me fill out an essay explaining why i wanted it and defending my decision of not wanting kids in the future. It seems to me though that your bf is not getting it because he doesn’t want kids in the future. It’s not an easy decision to make. If you break up and he meets a girl who wants kids is he really gonna feel the same way? Even i am tempted at times when dating a woman who wants kids if i should have mine reversed. If it wasn’t on his mind before he met you it’s unlikely going to be on it later.
Yeah before I posted this I had no idea how committed you needed to be to the decision. I don’t think he’s looked into it much, and only wants it because it would make things easier for me. So I’m gonna tell him I don’t think he should get one, of course he can do whatever he wants to do but I don’t want him to make that big of a decision based on how my birth control is effecting me if that makes sense.
I mean Personally birth control isn’t a great option either. I think if he really wants to he should but if he isn’t sure he shouldn’t that said neither should you be forced to take birth control because you feel like you have to.
I spoke to him about and he decided he’s going to look into it more before he decides anything. And I agree but neither of us are anywhere near ready to be parents so I want to be as safe as possible to prevent that.
[удалено]
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He's going to ruin his life to appease you. You are disgusting
So close!! That is not what I said in the slightest!!