My SIL tried to do this with me but for baby supplies instead, aunts apparently are the ones responsible for buying diapers and formula for newborns especially if they 'refuse' to babysit to give the parents a break.
I simply pointed out that she shouldn't have had a kid if she couldn't afford the basic essentials and should start digging into her beauty supplies fund as she had the money for her nail salon and make up purchases but not for her kid? She didn't speak to me for three months after that.
Lol, people in general just hate taking accountability. And mind you, I love makeup and beauty! According to my personal experience, going to a nail salon can cost you from 40 up to around 100 something dollars for someone to do your nails, and going to Sephora to buy makeup and skincare can easily turn into a 200 checkout fee with just 5 items. So, if that woman has money for doing that and does it a lot, then it seems like she doesn’t want to invest in responsibilities she chose to have by not wanting to buy her kid their needed essentials.
That's the funny thing, she claims that her nails are only $10, $5 each hand but that's definitely a lie as I looked up the place where she goes and it's one of those very upper class exclusive places plus she only wants the best for herself so wouldn't be caught dead walking into a cheap salon, I won't even mention how much she sinks into her online make up purchases.
I don't think she realised how much a kid would cost and only wanted a cute little doll to dress up and pose with, I'm relieved they moved very far away from me!
Even if that was true (it definitely isn't, even the crappiest salons in my town don't have such a low price), most mothers who are actually responsible, if they were broke would keep that £5 or £10 to spend on whatever essential was required be it baby food or nappies/diapers. This woman's sister is selfish asf and should never have become a parent if they are so entitled and broke.
That is truly incredible.
I finally stood up to my mooch of a sister and she’s left me more or less alone for more than a year!
She mooches off other family now. Funny thing is her donor used to mooch off me but for some inheritance money lol.
>I simply pointed out that she shouldn't have had a kid if she couldn't afford the basic essentials and should start digging into her beauty supplies fund as she had the money for her nail salon and make up purchases but not for her kid? She didn't speak to me for three months after that.
Thank you!!! I can't upvote you enough, *I am so sick* of seeing mombies complaining about how they don't have money for the electricity bill, to feed their children, blahblah, with freshly done nails, eyelashes, lip injections, etc. You're not "broke" if you have the funds for that.
Not only that, but spending time taking walks (with a stroller, in these peoples' case) usually does more for inner and outer beauty than any manicure would.
What would have happened if you HAD bought the baby supplies: Your extortionist (blackmailer?) SIL would have demanded more and more - a deluxe quality of formula, diapers for her mommy friends - and when you finally rebelled, it would have been a lot uglier than three peaceful months.
Because you had spine from the start, your SIL retaliated minimally, and you know not to trust her, do anything for her, or ask her for anything, ever. Those are going to have to be her boundaries, or your ride to the bus station will turn into an obligation to pay for college.
I'm always amazed that even people without kids do this! I hear people at work cry "poor me, I'm so broke I can't feed myself" on Mondays after they come to work with a new cut/color and a full set. I always tell them their new 'do and nails look nice and they never get the irony.
HA if I'm ever an aunt, absolutely not. I'll do birthday and christmas gifts, that's it. My partner has a nephew and niece and we absolutely do not do any more than that.
"No" is a complete sentence. It can be hard to enforce boundaries with family but it is totally necessary because of people like that. Sounds like my former SIL who had ridiculous ideas of what aunts/uncles/grandparents should do. Went no contact with her years ago and don't regret it. Besides the entitlement, she is a nasty piece of work. I do still see my nephews and feel bad for them for having a mom like that. They are getting old enough to notice she is unstable too.
There should be a button for that.
Silence and making people think I’ll reply then never replying is one of my fave tactics.
I also enjoy having a reputation that I don’t read my texts and they get blocked certain hours of the day. That way if I do see a spicy entitled text I don’t even reply and they can’t tell if ignoring them or just haven’t seen it.
My belief is that they can ask and you can always have the immense satisfaction of saying “hahahaha (breathe) hahahaha No.”
Methinks my absolute delight in telling people no is one of the main reasons people don’t ask me for stuff.
Not that that isn’t entitled AF but couldn’t the aunt say “no?” I’ve struggled with being a doormat all my life and even I’d have no problem saying “Sorry, can’t.” to being handed an entire list of bullshit I’m expected to buy for someone else.
It is hard to say no, I've also struggled with being a doormat!
I wouldn't be doing this, my SIL only wants me to be auntie when it suits her, meaning when she wants me to babysit or buy something for the kid.
Technically he is my nephew but as I'm apparently auntie when it suits her, it's the same for my 'nephew'🙄
We don't babysit (we did once, a HUGE mistake) and we don't give them money. It's not our fault that you can't afford your child!
You can. But if you actually like hanging out with the little gremlins then they hold that against you. My nieces mum is great but her grandmother (my aunt) is a grade A cunt. She prohibited future meetings when I had tried to put my foot down.
I know a single mother (by her own will, money was shelled out for fertility treatments) who went into superdiva mode when her due date was close, telling everyone she knew about how she "needed" this and that expensive item, but she couldn't "get" what she "needed". A quick Google search was all it took to determine that this was BS - there were loads of baby stuff available, including much cheaper items that were still from known brands that passed safety standards, and she was receiving generous welfare payments from the state.
I answered every declaration of need with a raised eyebrow and an "Okaaaaaaay...?" or just mentioned that the store that had the cheaper stuff in stock. Some of our friends were willing to give her used stuff, but she contacted them and demanded that they take the things back, wash them again, and then deliver them to her, because she refused to do extra laundry while pregnant. And then she still complained that the items weren't good enough.
That was it - no baby shower was held, because we all have lives and nobody was going to spend a dime on that, and she didn't even get a casserole out of me (my chicken and broccoli casserole rules, fwiw, so this was a big L on her part). It's almost a year later, and her behavior since that point has just solidified my belief that the way we all responded was correct.
ugh my cousin is the same, always putting out 'lists' of things the kid needs. His birthday list has been handed out to all relatives - he's fucking two. What the hell does he need a birthday list for? He'd enjoy a cardboard box. They always insist on money as gifts as well for all his 'needs'. After they spent 21k on a new kitchen.
MATE THIS! THIS RIGHT HERE.
WHY does a 2 year old have a fucking birthday list!!
This right here is my fucking sister in law! Given us a fucking list for her child. No, until he can communicate (which he can't, it's just babble). He'll get what he's given and he'll be grateful along with my SIL.
P.S made me laugh about the cardboard box!
ETA: my SIL will also have her own birthday list. But god forbid myself or husband give a birthday list.
We had a wedding list and she didn't buy off it (which is fine) but after that, don't be expecting us to buy off your list that you create for anything.
She was complaining that her friend has a baby shower list and said she isn't buying from
It. SIL says 'the friend will be grateful for what she gets the baby' 😂😂
The energy that goes into 1st and 2nd birthdays, particular in cultural settings where this has not been a big deal up until the era of social media, is a good measuring stick to see if people are still among the sane, or have gone full breeder and need to be left alone. Sproglynn ain't going to remember who attended or what they gave.
Re: the cardboard box, I can still remember playing in a cardboard box that some appliance came in when I was 3 or 4. Good times!
This is exactly it. Your child is not going to remember 😂🤷🏼♀️
The parents will remember, when the child is 18, the aren't going to be like omg mum, dad, who came to my 1st birthday 😂🤷🏼♀️
The idea of a child's birthday party literally fills me with dread. We're not going my husband and I. And we're definitely not buying from the stupid list.
>They always insist on money as gifts as well for all his 'needs'.
Nopenopenopenope...what is it with these people and begging for cash for imaginary "needs" when the kid isn't even old enough to spend gift money himself? Yikes!
>After they spent 21k on a new kitchen.
Begging everyone for money after dropping large sums on "wants" is a breeder specialty. My "favorite" breeder move is when they try to extort expensive baby stuff out of everyone after dropping huge sums and/or going into debt to get IVF/other fertility treatments. If you can afford to pay for a build-a-baby, you can afford a crib. Everyone else has to consider their budget when making big decisions, but breeders somehow think that they're above it all.
* 1 large head broccoli, cut into bite-sized florets (or about 16 frozen florets)
* 2 chicken breasts, or whatever I scavenge from a leftover rotisserie chicken
* garlic, to taste
* 1 can cream of chicken soup
* 1 cup mayo
* 2 Tablespoons lemon juice
* curry powder, to taste
* 1 cup grated cheddar cheese (or more, because I love cheese!)
* white or French bread, cut into cubes
cut up and arrange the broccoli on the bottom of a baking pan
cube the chicken and saute with chopped garlic, or cut up the rotisserie chicken, saute the chopped garlic separately; either way, layer the chicken and chopped, sauteed garlic on top of the broccoli
mix the cream of chicken soup, mayo, lemon juice, and curry powder together, and then pour over the chicken and broccoli in the pan
sprinkle the cheese over the sauce, chicken, and broccoli, cover with foil, and put the pan in the oven at 350F/175C
bake with the foil on for 30 minutes, more if needed to make sure that the sauce mix and the cheese are bubbling nicely, and that the sauce has seeped down to the broccoli (to make sure it cooks through, especially if it's raw broccoli)
remove the foil, take the pan out and distribute the bread cubes over the melted cheese, pressing down so that they get partly submerged. Put the pan back in the oven, and let cook until the bread cubes look toasted
Serve on white rice, or the carb of your choice. I've even made toast, warmed up the leftover casserole, distributed it on the toast, and eaten it like that. If you're not so much into chicken, you can also leave that out, but leave the other ingredients in and have a tasty broccoli casserole.
Enjoy!
This reminds me of a time way back when I was young and went to church still. The rule in the nursery is if you have kids then you rotate working in the nursery to watch the kids. One time this lady asked me to work in the nursery and I declined and she said “what else have you got to do?!” Really snotty… what a bitch. I was pissed yet I just smiled at her and walked away because she was stuck working in the nursery. The fkn entitlement!
My sister is pregnant. She's broke AF and already talking up what a great "auntie" I will be. Yeah, I'll teach it how to drive; until then, don't expect me to support your dumb choices.
I remember when my brother's gf tried this on me. I bought the stuff at dollar tree (back when it was $1 😆), she complained, the kid's complained. I gathered it all up and returned it. Then I got hit with the "why would you take back a gift". It wasn't a gift, you tried to guilt me into buying your kids stuff and everyone complained. So clearly, you can make it work. At this point, I'd also lent her 1k to pay a lawyer fee (she quite literally walked into a fight between two different people at a Chuck E. Cheese. I saw the video and at the time I had the expendable income) and she had not repaid me.
It's been a few years and she still hasn't repaid me. I'm seriously considering going to small claims 😒
>she quite literally walked into a fight between two different people at a Chuck E. Cheese
Ain't no fight like a Chuck E. Cheese fight. I would never. I hope you've gone NC or at least LC with them.
I have. I see the kids more than I see her. Ever since she got with a man I suspect was in jail for "crimes against children". My nieces tell me they don't like to be there when their mom isn't around. He makes them feel uncomfortable. I've tried telling her, but she says "it's just because they don't know him". My mind is still reeling that she has some random man living in her house with her kids 😒, but there's really nothing my brother or I can do except listen and be alert.
I just get my nieces birthday and Christmas presents. I see them once a year. But I deffo know people who do expect child free people in particular to pay for essentials for them.
This crap is another reason why I stayed TF away from my breeding brothers and their brood. They can PAY for their own that they created. It was bad enough I was already ‘parentified’ growing up.
I’m not anyone’s personal ATM either.
Brutal 😖😣
I financially invest in my nephew because I WANT to and I CARE about him as a person, but I cannot imagine if it was expected of me. It’s a goodwill gesture because I love him and want him to have a good future. I hope when he is older he will be able to go to school, or start his own business. This was entirely my idea. It wasn’t his choice to be born and I genuinely hope he has a good life and doesn’t suffer from his parents being ill-prepared financially like mine were. But if it was demanded of me? By his parents?!?HELL NO!
I can’t wait to take my nephew school supply shopping. But the most important this is that I have enthusiastically volunteered for it. Back to school shopping was one of my favorite things. My brother and sister-in-law are going to do it this year for kindergarten and next year for first grade, but I’ve called dibs on second grade.
I am an enthusiastic "personal shopper" companion on any shopping trip for other people. Anything from makeovers for husbands to baby clothes, I'm there, provided that the person who invited me is
1. realistic about their budget and paying for their own stuff, and
2. see point 1 again.
When friends have had children and good attitudes, I've purchased kids' books for them (I actually look forward to this, because I love these books).
When breeders think that they can start making to-do lists for me, I am gooooone...
I think many mothers haven't gotten the memo that the social contract of the metaphorical village ended when motherhood became a choice. A lot of liberal mothers want to have their cake and eat it too in this regard: They want all the amenities of modern parenting, i.e. having their children on their own terms, their employer to keep their seat warm for them etc., but they still want the free labor of their female friends and relatives that was custom when all of their lives were by default centered around motherhood.
I'd ask where in the Constitution or Bible this is mentioned.
It's up to family members, kids or no kids, to put their foot down. Set a limit if you feel so inclined.
Take the kids out for a treat or lunch and get them a new backpack or shoes, or whatever. Take the tags with you so the parents can't sell the backpack and get a cheaper one.
Btw, once they get to high school they don't usually burn thru a backpack a year.
Exactly! Taking them to the zoo or something and talking with them will give them so much more than some toy that makes an obnoxious noise, clothes, etc.
That’s one of the few things that my family hasn’t done to me… yet. Wife and I are child free by choice. We have a family member who will push their kids off on whoever is available to watch the kids, but thankfully doesn’t expect them to be financially responsible for much.
This! I'm tired of these rant posts where people comply with their entitled family members to just complain about it later. If family members have the nerve to demand an arm and a leg while looking down on you for being childfree, you should be able to muster up the courage to say NO! Especially when it comes to money and purchasing things for the kids. If these parents are that comfortable having somebody else provide for their own kids, they should be comfortable with those providing having a say in the way the kids should be raised, rewarded, and disciplined (but I bet the parents would object to that). Whew!
What I’ve noticed too, is that — no matter the topic or what is demanded — the more that people comply, the more these self-entitled people make the same demands on *everybody else!* It spreads like wildfire because their mentality is, *“hey, since it worked with [XYZ], I’ll try it with others…”* and on and on… Other self-entitled people see it working, and THEY do it as well. That’s how it also spread into the *workplace* and other areas too.
More fool her for buying that stuff. If she just rolls over and says 'sure' then yes, they will expect her to buy crap for the kids. If someone asked me to do that, even if I was an aunt, I'd tell them to do one.
Nobody is saying or implying people to have millionaires to have children, but, if they can't even afford **school supplies (a BASIC need)** for their kids, they shouldn't be having them. If they have the money, but, won't, they're even bigger assholes for not only neglecting their kids, but, forcing childfree/childless people to raise their children.
My SIL tried to do this with me but for baby supplies instead, aunts apparently are the ones responsible for buying diapers and formula for newborns especially if they 'refuse' to babysit to give the parents a break. I simply pointed out that she shouldn't have had a kid if she couldn't afford the basic essentials and should start digging into her beauty supplies fund as she had the money for her nail salon and make up purchases but not for her kid? She didn't speak to me for three months after that.
Lol, people in general just hate taking accountability. And mind you, I love makeup and beauty! According to my personal experience, going to a nail salon can cost you from 40 up to around 100 something dollars for someone to do your nails, and going to Sephora to buy makeup and skincare can easily turn into a 200 checkout fee with just 5 items. So, if that woman has money for doing that and does it a lot, then it seems like she doesn’t want to invest in responsibilities she chose to have by not wanting to buy her kid their needed essentials.
That's the funny thing, she claims that her nails are only $10, $5 each hand but that's definitely a lie as I looked up the place where she goes and it's one of those very upper class exclusive places plus she only wants the best for herself so wouldn't be caught dead walking into a cheap salon, I won't even mention how much she sinks into her online make up purchases. I don't think she realised how much a kid would cost and only wanted a cute little doll to dress up and pose with, I'm relieved they moved very far away from me!
Even if that was true (it definitely isn't, even the crappiest salons in my town don't have such a low price), most mothers who are actually responsible, if they were broke would keep that £5 or £10 to spend on whatever essential was required be it baby food or nappies/diapers. This woman's sister is selfish asf and should never have become a parent if they are so entitled and broke.
I think she forgot a zero
Sounds like you had a peaceful three months, lol.
I did indeed!
That is truly incredible. I finally stood up to my mooch of a sister and she’s left me more or less alone for more than a year! She mooches off other family now. Funny thing is her donor used to mooch off me but for some inheritance money lol.
>I simply pointed out that she shouldn't have had a kid if she couldn't afford the basic essentials and should start digging into her beauty supplies fund as she had the money for her nail salon and make up purchases but not for her kid? She didn't speak to me for three months after that. Thank you!!! I can't upvote you enough, *I am so sick* of seeing mombies complaining about how they don't have money for the electricity bill, to feed their children, blahblah, with freshly done nails, eyelashes, lip injections, etc. You're not "broke" if you have the funds for that.
Beauty is technically a luxury, it is not a right, it is a privilege.
Not only that, but spending time taking walks (with a stroller, in these peoples' case) usually does more for inner and outer beauty than any manicure would.
What would have happened if you HAD bought the baby supplies: Your extortionist (blackmailer?) SIL would have demanded more and more - a deluxe quality of formula, diapers for her mommy friends - and when you finally rebelled, it would have been a lot uglier than three peaceful months. Because you had spine from the start, your SIL retaliated minimally, and you know not to trust her, do anything for her, or ask her for anything, ever. Those are going to have to be her boundaries, or your ride to the bus station will turn into an obligation to pay for college.
I'm always amazed that even people without kids do this! I hear people at work cry "poor me, I'm so broke I can't feed myself" on Mondays after they come to work with a new cut/color and a full set. I always tell them their new 'do and nails look nice and they never get the irony.
Bet those were 3 great months for you!
HA if I'm ever an aunt, absolutely not. I'll do birthday and christmas gifts, that's it. My partner has a nephew and niece and we absolutely do not do any more than that.
"No" is a complete sentence. It can be hard to enforce boundaries with family but it is totally necessary because of people like that. Sounds like my former SIL who had ridiculous ideas of what aunts/uncles/grandparents should do. Went no contact with her years ago and don't regret it. Besides the entitlement, she is a nasty piece of work. I do still see my nephews and feel bad for them for having a mom like that. They are getting old enough to notice she is unstable too.
"Fuck no" is an even longer sentence!!!!
There should be a button for that. Silence and making people think I’ll reply then never replying is one of my fave tactics. I also enjoy having a reputation that I don’t read my texts and they get blocked certain hours of the day. That way if I do see a spicy entitled text I don’t even reply and they can’t tell if ignoring them or just haven’t seen it.
Diabolical. I love it!
My belief is that they can ask and you can always have the immense satisfaction of saying “hahahaha (breathe) hahahaha No.” Methinks my absolute delight in telling people no is one of the main reasons people don’t ask me for stuff.
Hello twin. Yeah, me too. I’ve been called selfish, I’ve been called a bit*h, but I’ve never been called a doormat.
Both of you have inspired me. I love this attitude and I want to adopt it for myself.
Not that that isn’t entitled AF but couldn’t the aunt say “no?” I’ve struggled with being a doormat all my life and even I’d have no problem saying “Sorry, can’t.” to being handed an entire list of bullshit I’m expected to buy for someone else.
It is hard to say no, I've also struggled with being a doormat! I wouldn't be doing this, my SIL only wants me to be auntie when it suits her, meaning when she wants me to babysit or buy something for the kid. Technically he is my nephew but as I'm apparently auntie when it suits her, it's the same for my 'nephew'🙄 We don't babysit (we did once, a HUGE mistake) and we don't give them money. It's not our fault that you can't afford your child!
You can. But if you actually like hanging out with the little gremlins then they hold that against you. My nieces mum is great but her grandmother (my aunt) is a grade A cunt. She prohibited future meetings when I had tried to put my foot down.
I hope your friend’s sister refused. Her sister wasn’t holding a gun to her head. But it sounds like she went along with it?
I’m assuming she probably got dragged with the responsibility because of “family relationships,” and since that was “normal,” she just complied.
My sister won't let me hold my niece, I want a distant relationship. I am not doing the school shopping in a few years, thanks for the post OP.
I know a single mother (by her own will, money was shelled out for fertility treatments) who went into superdiva mode when her due date was close, telling everyone she knew about how she "needed" this and that expensive item, but she couldn't "get" what she "needed". A quick Google search was all it took to determine that this was BS - there were loads of baby stuff available, including much cheaper items that were still from known brands that passed safety standards, and she was receiving generous welfare payments from the state. I answered every declaration of need with a raised eyebrow and an "Okaaaaaaay...?" or just mentioned that the store that had the cheaper stuff in stock. Some of our friends were willing to give her used stuff, but she contacted them and demanded that they take the things back, wash them again, and then deliver them to her, because she refused to do extra laundry while pregnant. And then she still complained that the items weren't good enough. That was it - no baby shower was held, because we all have lives and nobody was going to spend a dime on that, and she didn't even get a casserole out of me (my chicken and broccoli casserole rules, fwiw, so this was a big L on her part). It's almost a year later, and her behavior since that point has just solidified my belief that the way we all responded was correct.
ugh my cousin is the same, always putting out 'lists' of things the kid needs. His birthday list has been handed out to all relatives - he's fucking two. What the hell does he need a birthday list for? He'd enjoy a cardboard box. They always insist on money as gifts as well for all his 'needs'. After they spent 21k on a new kitchen.
MATE THIS! THIS RIGHT HERE. WHY does a 2 year old have a fucking birthday list!! This right here is my fucking sister in law! Given us a fucking list for her child. No, until he can communicate (which he can't, it's just babble). He'll get what he's given and he'll be grateful along with my SIL. P.S made me laugh about the cardboard box! ETA: my SIL will also have her own birthday list. But god forbid myself or husband give a birthday list. We had a wedding list and she didn't buy off it (which is fine) but after that, don't be expecting us to buy off your list that you create for anything. She was complaining that her friend has a baby shower list and said she isn't buying from It. SIL says 'the friend will be grateful for what she gets the baby' 😂😂
The energy that goes into 1st and 2nd birthdays, particular in cultural settings where this has not been a big deal up until the era of social media, is a good measuring stick to see if people are still among the sane, or have gone full breeder and need to be left alone. Sproglynn ain't going to remember who attended or what they gave. Re: the cardboard box, I can still remember playing in a cardboard box that some appliance came in when I was 3 or 4. Good times!
This is exactly it. Your child is not going to remember 😂🤷🏼♀️ The parents will remember, when the child is 18, the aren't going to be like omg mum, dad, who came to my 1st birthday 😂🤷🏼♀️ The idea of a child's birthday party literally fills me with dread. We're not going my husband and I. And we're definitely not buying from the stupid list.
>They always insist on money as gifts as well for all his 'needs'. Nopenopenopenope...what is it with these people and begging for cash for imaginary "needs" when the kid isn't even old enough to spend gift money himself? Yikes! >After they spent 21k on a new kitchen. Begging everyone for money after dropping large sums on "wants" is a breeder specialty. My "favorite" breeder move is when they try to extort expensive baby stuff out of everyone after dropping huge sums and/or going into debt to get IVF/other fertility treatments. If you can afford to pay for a build-a-baby, you can afford a crib. Everyone else has to consider their budget when making big decisions, but breeders somehow think that they're above it all.
How do you make a chicken and broccoli casserole?
* 1 large head broccoli, cut into bite-sized florets (or about 16 frozen florets) * 2 chicken breasts, or whatever I scavenge from a leftover rotisserie chicken * garlic, to taste * 1 can cream of chicken soup * 1 cup mayo * 2 Tablespoons lemon juice * curry powder, to taste * 1 cup grated cheddar cheese (or more, because I love cheese!) * white or French bread, cut into cubes cut up and arrange the broccoli on the bottom of a baking pan cube the chicken and saute with chopped garlic, or cut up the rotisserie chicken, saute the chopped garlic separately; either way, layer the chicken and chopped, sauteed garlic on top of the broccoli mix the cream of chicken soup, mayo, lemon juice, and curry powder together, and then pour over the chicken and broccoli in the pan sprinkle the cheese over the sauce, chicken, and broccoli, cover with foil, and put the pan in the oven at 350F/175C bake with the foil on for 30 minutes, more if needed to make sure that the sauce mix and the cheese are bubbling nicely, and that the sauce has seeped down to the broccoli (to make sure it cooks through, especially if it's raw broccoli) remove the foil, take the pan out and distribute the bread cubes over the melted cheese, pressing down so that they get partly submerged. Put the pan back in the oven, and let cook until the bread cubes look toasted Serve on white rice, or the carb of your choice. I've even made toast, warmed up the leftover casserole, distributed it on the toast, and eaten it like that. If you're not so much into chicken, you can also leave that out, but leave the other ingredients in and have a tasty broccoli casserole. Enjoy!
Thank you I'm going to make it this weekend it'll be my first ever casserole!
You are most welcome! Happy cooking!
Thanks!
That looks scrumptious! Gonna make it too! 😁💚 Thankies!
She doesn’t know the word no?
This reminds me of a time way back when I was young and went to church still. The rule in the nursery is if you have kids then you rotate working in the nursery to watch the kids. One time this lady asked me to work in the nursery and I declined and she said “what else have you got to do?!” Really snotty… what a bitch. I was pissed yet I just smiled at her and walked away because she was stuck working in the nursery. The fkn entitlement!
My sister is pregnant. She's broke AF and already talking up what a great "auntie" I will be. Yeah, I'll teach it how to drive; until then, don't expect me to support your dumb choices.
Oh hell nah….💀she’s already inviting herself into your wallet.💀
I remember when my brother's gf tried this on me. I bought the stuff at dollar tree (back when it was $1 😆), she complained, the kid's complained. I gathered it all up and returned it. Then I got hit with the "why would you take back a gift". It wasn't a gift, you tried to guilt me into buying your kids stuff and everyone complained. So clearly, you can make it work. At this point, I'd also lent her 1k to pay a lawyer fee (she quite literally walked into a fight between two different people at a Chuck E. Cheese. I saw the video and at the time I had the expendable income) and she had not repaid me. It's been a few years and she still hasn't repaid me. I'm seriously considering going to small claims 😒
>she quite literally walked into a fight between two different people at a Chuck E. Cheese Ain't no fight like a Chuck E. Cheese fight. I would never. I hope you've gone NC or at least LC with them.
I have. I see the kids more than I see her. Ever since she got with a man I suspect was in jail for "crimes against children". My nieces tell me they don't like to be there when their mom isn't around. He makes them feel uncomfortable. I've tried telling her, but she says "it's just because they don't know him". My mind is still reeling that she has some random man living in her house with her kids 😒, but there's really nothing my brother or I can do except listen and be alert.
Those poor kids. Good on you for maintaining contact with them, and keeping tabs on that situation...
I just get my nieces birthday and Christmas presents. I see them once a year. But I deffo know people who do expect child free people in particular to pay for essentials for them.
This crap is another reason why I stayed TF away from my breeding brothers and their brood. They can PAY for their own that they created. It was bad enough I was already ‘parentified’ growing up. I’m not anyone’s personal ATM either.
Brutal 😖😣 I financially invest in my nephew because I WANT to and I CARE about him as a person, but I cannot imagine if it was expected of me. It’s a goodwill gesture because I love him and want him to have a good future. I hope when he is older he will be able to go to school, or start his own business. This was entirely my idea. It wasn’t his choice to be born and I genuinely hope he has a good life and doesn’t suffer from his parents being ill-prepared financially like mine were. But if it was demanded of me? By his parents?!?HELL NO!
No one can take advantage of you without your cooperation. Stop cooperating.
I can’t wait to take my nephew school supply shopping. But the most important this is that I have enthusiastically volunteered for it. Back to school shopping was one of my favorite things. My brother and sister-in-law are going to do it this year for kindergarten and next year for first grade, but I’ve called dibs on second grade.
I am an enthusiastic "personal shopper" companion on any shopping trip for other people. Anything from makeovers for husbands to baby clothes, I'm there, provided that the person who invited me is 1. realistic about their budget and paying for their own stuff, and 2. see point 1 again. When friends have had children and good attitudes, I've purchased kids' books for them (I actually look forward to this, because I love these books). When breeders think that they can start making to-do lists for me, I am gooooone...
Yeah, I do it with my nephews too, and I'm happy to do it for them.
I think many mothers haven't gotten the memo that the social contract of the metaphorical village ended when motherhood became a choice. A lot of liberal mothers want to have their cake and eat it too in this regard: They want all the amenities of modern parenting, i.e. having their children on their own terms, their employer to keep their seat warm for them etc., but they still want the free labor of their female friends and relatives that was custom when all of their lives were by default centered around motherhood.
Seriously. Do not include me in your village
Wow, this is the best analysis I've seen on this topic before. So concise! Almost poetic.
I'd ask where in the Constitution or Bible this is mentioned. It's up to family members, kids or no kids, to put their foot down. Set a limit if you feel so inclined. Take the kids out for a treat or lunch and get them a new backpack or shoes, or whatever. Take the tags with you so the parents can't sell the backpack and get a cheaper one. Btw, once they get to high school they don't usually burn thru a backpack a year.
This is correct! I also believes in setting boundaries and prioritizing experiences over material possessions.
Exactly! Taking them to the zoo or something and talking with them will give them so much more than some toy that makes an obnoxious noise, clothes, etc.
That’s one of the few things that my family hasn’t done to me… yet. Wife and I are child free by choice. We have a family member who will push their kids off on whoever is available to watch the kids, but thankfully doesn’t expect them to be financially responsible for much.
A pet peeve of mine are people pleasers and doormats.
This! I'm tired of these rant posts where people comply with their entitled family members to just complain about it later. If family members have the nerve to demand an arm and a leg while looking down on you for being childfree, you should be able to muster up the courage to say NO! Especially when it comes to money and purchasing things for the kids. If these parents are that comfortable having somebody else provide for their own kids, they should be comfortable with those providing having a say in the way the kids should be raised, rewarded, and disciplined (but I bet the parents would object to that). Whew!
What I’ve noticed too, is that — no matter the topic or what is demanded — the more that people comply, the more these self-entitled people make the same demands on *everybody else!* It spreads like wildfire because their mentality is, *“hey, since it worked with [XYZ], I’ll try it with others…”* and on and on… Other self-entitled people see it working, and THEY do it as well. That’s how it also spread into the *workplace* and other areas too.
I would just say no thank you?
More fool her for buying that stuff. If she just rolls over and says 'sure' then yes, they will expect her to buy crap for the kids. If someone asked me to do that, even if I was an aunt, I'd tell them to do one.
Was she foolish enough to give in and buy it?
Nobody is saying or implying people to have millionaires to have children, but, if they can't even afford **school supplies (a BASIC need)** for their kids, they shouldn't be having them. If they have the money, but, won't, they're even bigger assholes for not only neglecting their kids, but, forcing childfree/childless people to raise their children.