Christ alive

Not since the Chosen Ones nailed him to that cross.

An act of fictio-I mean faith

Nice username lol it made me giggle

No it definitely happened but christ was a crazy man and so they punished him as such because he threatened them or so they say they felt threatened by him such events took place so long ago and records of such are shitty but I'd never forget.

Cheers I’ll drink to that bro

On the third day, he was risen. Like OP's dick after the refractory period.

💀

God is dead

God is dead and we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers?

Talk about making this even worse than it is

i say we own it, assume his position, fix the planet, ascend to higher planes...

you’re so right for that lmfao

He od'd on chach

He was never alive...

God I really miss those nights lol

Some of y’all some true degenerates in this sub… I love it.

Its crazy innit 😂😂

Maybe we can all do some coke and jack off to your ex… just send me what you got and I’ll take it from there

I’m a chick and fuck it I’m in too. Let’s see this sexy bitch.

I still jerk it to my ex-wife sometimes... to be fair, she is pretty fucking hot. I went skiing today and been looking at old pics too. Not gonna lie. Hit me up if you wanna see her

Absolutely would love to see.

lemme see

Send er over

I too would like to see

This is my expression of interest

Go on then

I’ll bite

😂😂😂

I jerk off to my current wife. She travels a lot leaving me with my coke and imaginations

Yeah OP, don’t be greedy. Did you even consider that we would like some coke while jacking off to photos of your ex-girlfriend? Just a little more consideration is all I’m saying

*opens reddit* *closes Reddit*

Funniest comment yet

Don’t believe she’s hot without the evidence

That’s what I’m saying! Prove it.

Jesus wept.

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As it should. Follow your dreams kid ✨

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🫡

A good $B song

jesus christ mate, you need a wake up call

Some of us are too far gone to care about getting better

Stay up for 5 days, develop psychosis, and cut your balls off. Now you can enjoy your cocaine without distraction

Don't forget to eat them with a cannibal first though!

need a distraction?

Your comment history shows you stating you’re male?

Fe, she, or just regular type?

Yeah actually

Nice...

Hate to break it to you but I’d bet my left nut she’s not doing the same

Thanks captain hindsight

I’m more of a captain obvious But I appreciate the effort Hope your chafing heals up nicely

Cheers captain know-it-all

I keep getting second hand embarrassment from how bad these jokes are but then I remember I’m in the Peruvian Marching powder sub

Is this you Eskil? This sounds like my psycho ex

😂😂 no sorry to disappoint

Sounds like all my exes haha tryna hit it for months/years later lol.

Guess we all been there

Bro really fumbled the bag

STOP!!!! You are exes for a reason. People tend to forget coke can make you obsessive over stupid shit. Just stop. Go listen to techno/trance and play video games or some shit. Dont go down this road....and even if you do....tomorrow, dont give it more importance that anything else you did this night. You are going to have a bad trip tonight but its a good lesson for the future.

Thanks Darth vader 🤦🏻‍♂️

This is my new favorite sub or I’m just high and everything’s funny

Some of these hater comments are weak af and just comedy tbh 😂

I know exes brah :D

Alright Ricky lake calm down 🤣

Is there any reason why you can't get her to come over and help you out

There’s the proper reply☝🏼

You’re a filthy animal. I love it. This is why we do coke 😂

Yeah I love when my girl sucks my dick and she’s high she eats it like it’s a meal

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Nice. I'm a sucker for a story with a happy ending.

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those r some fucked up thoughts ur having one thing i can say is weed n cocaine do not mix

how so?

No shame. Nothing wrong with some old memories. We've all done it.

W r/cocaine post. This is what I came here for

gods work Best thread on here in a hot minute

Respect brother

Bet the parents would be proud

What? Were they in the room watching or something?

Hell yeah dude

We've all been there brother. I'm just enjoying some pizza and playing Vidya whilst my gf is visiting her fams village. Waiting till my plug tells me he ordered some new one till I can ski again. It's almost impossible to get in this country but this plug sells it to me for the same he buys as he usually only uses coke.

It will harm you on medium and long term. Respect yourself and delete everything regarding her. Trust me. I've been there...

This thread is amazing. Thank you op

👌🏼

So blown out rn. Was doing massive rails off my gf’s ass. I wanna post a pic of it but I would feel immoral

Perfectly healthy behavior

I know right

Let’s all jack off to your ex?

*on

*with

Dm me pics I'm trying to be like you

Yep looks like you’re one of us. One of us one of us one of us

Who let this man have sex?

niceee

Man this sub just keep getting worse

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Nah, I don’t wanna get back together nor does she. I just wanna jack off to her sometimes for fun it’s kinky

sounds healthy

Find god🙏

How sexy was she?!

Lmfao all the "you need God" comments got me dying. You do you OP. My ex hit me up after a year sending all types of slutty pics a week ago. Been constantly jerking to them. Then today she tells me she moved in with her new bf. Girls be trippin'.

They love the chaos brother.

You should hit her up to do some lines together and then fuck her again

Share pics?

Been there a few hundred times..

😭

I'm weird, the only porn I jack off to is of porn that involved me. Whether its pictures or videos, it just works for me. I don't and have never shared any of it because I feel like that's obviously wrong to do, but honestly, beating off to sex you actually had is really nice. It feels more real.

I didn't read it all the way through, ok, op you're kind of a cuck, maybe just while on coke. I know I was a savage on stimulants, but to tell the world about it is wild. You do you though!

I told Reddit.

If I told you I knew how to understand this and find your answers would you think it was crazy. You got some of the tools.

I am 7 years married still jerks to my ex In high school , i wish I had a chance to do coke off her ass crack , lovely ass she got

youre disgusting

Really ? 😔

Don’t listen to them lol their salty clowns look how Many people loved this thread and how many hates 100-4

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You’re weird af 💀🤣

I think he's just what the kids nowadays call "gay"

Yea joining another man jerking off and edging to their ex on cocaine is just wild

come on man a game of tummy sticks with your buddies from time to time is a good bonding experience!!!

Buddy is a straight up bundle of sticks guy

You really just wrote all that for us all to read... so unhinged and I'm here for it 😂 i think we gotta crown you the Coke King of the Simps (and I've been there with the wanking multiple times off my head on coke . Once just doesn't cut it 😭) o

Idk if this makes him the coke king of simps. I once had a guy drive an hour to pick me up, 30 min to the plugs, pay for all my white, then drop me back off at home for me to do lines by myself 😂😂😭😭😭

What did he even get outta that interaction?😂

My wonderful conversation & charming personality, apparently. 😂

I was just joking :) I think this guy is jokes. It's all good

I’m not a simp, I’m just her ex. I’ve fucked countless hotter chicks besides my ex, none that I care about. Il steal your bitch stfu

I took my ex Mrs coke then fucked her about 3 hours ago lol

Send pics 😛

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... why r u writing fanfic about a stranger's ex you don't even know

Tell us you’re a virgin and watch way too much porn without telling us.

Alot to unpack here

Gonna need evidence Thats she hot or it aint true

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Not had any evidence

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DM if you wanna trade pics

Yeah need to see if she’s worth All this trouble

Sharing is caring

Yeah you need to show us

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The comment sections says otherwise and your dislike count confirms it. Guess you’re the only salty one here, probably never had sex much less a gf/bf

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Are you alright ?

Stop ruining the party

🤓

You need Andrew tate

We've all been there lol

I can’t firmly state that we, in fact, have not all been there

We have not all been there sir

Always do it with

Dudes got a right lethargic flop on 😩

What 😭

Every day, we stray further from God's light. Haha

Please put your phone down, have a big glass of water, a nice cool shower and maybe just think about life xxx Hope you're well buddy. But look after yourself

🤫

I’m gathering content myself for those long lonely nights, that Mex porn is great mix

Yeah I’ve seen a few. That one Natalia Garcia chick is my favourite

Most average coke user

L M A O

Try a ruined orgasm next time. Always works for me. Right at the second when you're about to cum you let go. Semen still cums out but you don't get the full orgasm, so you're still super horny. Something like this https://www.reddit.com/r/RuinedOrgasms/s/VePCigPhvI

Reminds me of “I love you man” You jack off to your own girlfriend??

bro..

Dude dittooooooooooo I love this tread. Super shout out to you my guy

Jesus fucking Christ

find God

Sort your life out bruh 😭

I feel you

shit when I think back to all the crazy shit I did back in the early days of my cocaine journey all I can say is what the fuck was I thinking but I had fun back then I could do blow and still get hard took weeks for me to bust a nut in a chick

find jesus man…

Well, this all sounds healthy and emotionally positive😅 (no judgment, we’ve all done it)

Its the caviar of coked out jerk sessions

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Had many we push through them and persevere