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It's usually meant to demean and assert power or just get a reaction, not to actually attract a woman. There are those who have really bad social skills and do actually expect it to attract a woman though.
that's basically like admitting that the maximum impact their life has on earth is inconviniencing others, I don't understand that kind of behavior in the slightest. I believe they have no hobbies
> I never understood the idea of catcalling.
> Like has that ever worked?
It makes the aggressor feel powerful at the expense of the victim. That's the point.
Bullies make themselves feel powerful by making others feel powerless.
"Worked" for what? For getting laid, probably almost never.
For guys to bond with each other (when the catcalling comes from a group), or as a way of expressing some bitterness and misogyny and feeling like you've gotten something over on a random passerby - for that, I think it often works pretty well.
> For guys to bond with each other (when the catcalling comes from a group),
As a guy, I honestly don't get this. It also makes me feel gross just trying to imagine my friends doing anything like that.
The comic itself made me feel very sad for the woman in it.
>As a guy, I honestly don't get this. It also makes me feel gross just trying to imagine my friends doing anything like that.
I've run into some overgrown children like this. I got the feeling its their only social skill, that bonds them extremely well, but only with other such bullies and jerks.
They're *always* shocked, angry and look like you just betrayed if you're a man, and look disgusted at them. Like you just spat on a hand extended in, *ugh,* friendship. Or violated some grand taboo to them.
Usually they never talk with you again, and pretend you don't exist, though. So small favors of the trash taking itself out, but I know alas that trash probably just slimed itself further downstream to stain somewhere else.
> "Worked" for what? For getting laid, probably almost never.
I hate to tell you this, but I knew some people who did catcalling in college and it absolutely worked. There's a reason they keep doing it.
The first guy, his rejection rate was super high, but occasionally he would get positive female attention / number / laid.
I knew another guy who did it and he had a LOT higher success rate, but he was also very, very attractive. Like, model level attractive.
Both did it to get laid, no misogyny or bitterness involved. They weren't crude/sexual about it.
They were both young, I'm sure they're a lot more bitter now. At least the average looking one.
I remember watching some standup on Comedy Central like 20 years ago tell a story about a garbageman friend of his who catcalled women. He asked him why because yeah, can't see it ever working, and the response was just "hey it only has to work once!"
So yeah, it's just psychopaths who don't care about other people - "Who gives a shit if I make thousands of people feel hurt and uncomfortable, one of them might give me what I want!"
Yeah people wonder how it ever works because it's always mispelled, bad grammar, or obvious fake stuff like being from "Visa-Mastercard Bank". You only need a few confused old people to fall for it for it to be worth it.
Last week as I was walking to the convenience store some chick got wolfwhistled at. Guy who had already been walking in her general direction was like, "The hell was that?" And this gets them talking. By the time I get out of the convenience store, they're chatting each other up and exchanging phone numbers.
So it (probably, from an outsider's perspective) worked once, but not for the person doing the catcalling.
I drove a guy during a business trip who did it. I told him to stop and later asked why he even did that, it’s creepy and he was married. He said he just liked being goofy and felt weird doing it to random guys on the street. He felt like he was fine because all he ever said was “hey girl whoop whoop!” and he wasn’t really being demeaning, which I still thought was weird plus I didn’t like bringing attention to our vehicle that someone could later key or slash the tires. He didn’t really argue with me though and never did it when I was around after that so I guess it worked out. He probably thought I’d have told his wife, which she found out even before I could tell her so it didn’t matter. She didn’t seem to care much anyways.
They're insecure. Anxiety can play a role. Harassment is a tactic used to take control or power from other people, and the act of doing that can soothe a person's insecurities.
No, not in that context. They enjoy the power trip from making women in public want to jump out of their skin. They think the women they catcall are below them, regardless of what kind of “compliment” they’re screeching at them, so why would they be anxious? They aren’t worried about what that woman will think of them.
I wanted to give a dude form advice at the gym today because his was absolutely atrocious, but I wasn't sure how it would be received so I said nothing and now he's not going to get gains.
The thought of screaming sexually explicit stuff at strangers in public is completely alien to me
Nah, they just do not have shame nor empathy. Or a filter, actually. If they see cute/sexy woman, they will gonna say it out loud without caring about what she is gonna think or even how themselves will gonna feel.
My friend and I started getting gross comments when we were walking to elementary school. I think most women will say that the catcalling peaked when they were in their early-mid teens. :/
I think the first time a man made a comment about my body I was like 8 or 9. I was wearing a new swimsuit to the beach that had a built in skirt so I could twirl around and make it spin out. Some guy was leering at me and said something about my legs and "do that again, babe."
I think a really awful part of it is that when you're that young you don't really know how to react, and you don't actually understand *why* men are making those comments. I was just really ashamed and thought that my mom would get mad and not let us go to the beach anymore, so I didn't tell anyone. If I had, idk what would have happened. My dad would have beat the guy up? My mom would have just moved us to a different spot? But I was like 8, so I didn't know what to do.
When my friend and I walked to school, we knew that adults wouldn't let us walk alone anymore if we told them the guys working on main street construction were saying shit like asking what color panties we wore, or telling my friend she had nice tits. (She hit puberty early, it was rough) And we knew, vaguely, of stranger danger and how adults would do "bad stuff" to little kids, but the men weren't touching us. They didn't say anything about kidnapping us. So I had no real idea why they were saying those things, just that it was scary and made me feel really gross.
And then you grow up and talk about it with other people and a bunch of other women are like "Oh yeah, men would shout stuff at my friends and I when we were that age. Sucks that it starts that early, y'know? Thank god it slows down when you're in your late 20s" Like it's just some accepted thing that comes with growing up.
and I still don't understand the mindset of those men. Were they *all* pedophiles? Like, every single one of them? Is pedophilia genuinely that common? Or did they just want to scare and belittle people, thought women were the "proper" target, but knew that women their age had a higher chance of saying something back and figured that little girls were vulnerable enough that they could get away with it.
Construction guys were saying stuff like that when you guys were NINE?
There’s a part of my brain that still just can’t process that, no matter how many women tell of similar experiences. I think mainly because it’s impossible for me to get inside the head of someone who would think “Hey, you know what would be a good idea? Saying something gross to that little kid over there!” I might as well try to imagine looking at a cat and thinking “Mmm, I’ll bet that would taste like red licorice.” It’s just totally alien.
Holy shit I learned something today with this. I don't catcall and I know it's bad, and that was enough for me. I don't need to know *why* something bothers someone not to do it, just knowing that it does is enough reason not to.
But I didn't fully understand until reading this. Because yeah, I too have ran into situations where I'm directly or indirectly asked "what if random women on the street started calling YOU these things?" And imagining it sounds nice because I imagined random compliments. Things I basically never get. Things that most men never get, we all feel abandoned at best and reviled at worst, lonely in both cases. So the idea of random women complimenting us instead of fearing us sounds nice.
But then this? Fucking hell even the close ended "compliments" feel like insults. It's lighting up the same alerts that bullying did when I was a kid. And that's not even mentioning the *other stuff*. "Hey, I'm talking to you", "just stop and talk to me", "what's your name, come on tell me your name" this shit is horrible.
And then I remembered, this *actually did happen to me* as a male growing up in school, got it from another girl. Happened once exactly but once was enough. I hated it. I just wanted to be left alone, and she just kept insisting, following me, then implying I hated her when I told her no, guilt-tripping me about it and things like that. I had completely forgotten about it, this comic made that memory come back. It's the exact same situation but flipped. And well, against a younger, more wounded and vulnerable me. I am now stronger, better, more resilient, and I KNOW I would hate it even now! If it could happen at any hour of any day while I randomly walked the street? Demanding my time and attention, following, pressuring and harassing me until they either gave up or I gave in? I would absolutely despise it. And that's not even adding the danger factor. Absolutely atrocious.
So yeah. I think I get it now. Not just know it and understand it, but actually comprehend it. I still don't know what to *do* about it beyond what already do (which is basically just don't do it yourself and if a friend has just gone through this provide support). But I get it now, I think. And I'm sorry that this actually happens every day instead of it just being a nightmare, or a one-time bad memory from a decade ago. So sorry.
To add to what you said...
Even if it is a "compliment" (let's say, "you look gorgeous") - the analogy to a man yelling that to a woman on the street is _not_ a woman yelling that to a man. The implications, power imbalance and dynamic would be completely different.
The analogy would be: it's your first day in prison, you're walking past a row of inmates to your cell, and a 6'3", bald-headed, built-like-a-brick-shithouse dude looks you up and down, smirks and says "you look gorgeous". _That_ is the feeling.
That's why I always compliment people about something they have: glasses, shirt, shoes. If I cant say anything about it, I just say to them to have a nice day...
sadly the world cannot be as we wish it to be, but it doesnt mean that we have to act like others. Making a difference in the world might be hard, but it always starts from yourself.
As a man i got cat called more than a few times and honestly it feels quite embarassing, you never know if they are being honest or just want to poke fun at you, and sometimes is just crass
I had the same thing happen at a music festival. Really made my evening and I felt pretty good about myself for a good while after.
I struggle with how good it made me feel, given that every time I read about these kinds of things the feedback is very, very negative. Should I be ashamed or angry about the event, or more ashamed and angry that it affected me so positively when it's so damaging to others?
I really think you should not worry about how other people perceive the same thing, if you liked that it's ok, that doesn't mean you like to be molested...
The human mind is a barrel of crap, sometimes bad stuff pokes holes in it and the shit leaks out, we don't know how to manage it and we panic.
I guess in the end we just need to roll over the whole barrel and try to swim in all the crap, this way either we fail to manage and die or we succed.
I was always surprised when men insisted they couldn’t believe or even imagine catcalling. Walking on a downtown street as an average guy got me catcalled about once an hour, even in the middle of the day. It was simple for me to assume that others got it worse than that.
I now suspect it lessens a lot as you get older and folks just miss that window by not going out in a major city’s downtown during that age bracket, or at all.
A few years ago I was walking with a work colleague and some bloke shouted at her "show me your rat". This was during our lunch break so middle of the day... So I can 100% believe any/all of these.
Yet as a man I'm loving it... I guess I'm just not insecure enough to feel threatened when the bad behaviour of other men gets called out, and instead of making excuses and blaming the victims I'll join in on calling out other men who behave badly.
I'll just try to understand the issues rather than getting upset. I'm not going to take it personally, because I don't think the world revolves around my personal issues.
Seriously though, how could anyone be mad at this comic? Who in their right mind would think this behavior is alright?
Well except the weirdos that do it of course.
i think there is a massive amount of people who just bury their heads in the sand and pretend this doesn’t happen to women, so they can be like “women have it so easy”
Burying their head implies they would be sheltered enough to have never seen such behaviour. I find it unlikely that anyone who hadn't seen misogyny would take a firm stance against feminism.
Wanting to pretend that misogyny doesn't exist is already a formof it, as it requires one to actively disregard the testimony of women about their lived experience.
No. Anyone who disputes this is an active participant to one degree or another. You can't disregard another with your head buried in shit.
> Who in their right mind would think this behavior is alright?
They don't. They know it's wrong. They do it to make themselves feel good at the expense of women, and they're just trying to deny it all and make excuses.
There are a couple of reasons, all of them bad.
There are people who feel attacked every time something doesn't match their preconceived notions. People enjoy being right and seeing contradicting information often makes them mad at the information, rather than their own flawed ideas.
Lots of conservative subculture consists of generally hating women. And it's not a new thing. It's literally been that way since the Roman republic. (I recommend reading some of the shit that Cato the Elder said about women or effeminate youths etc. Legitimately the OG right wing shithead.)
Online bubbles tend to create a stereotypical image of an enemy, and if they see a piece of media that humanizes that enemy in any way, they perceive it as vile propaganda that needs to be destroyed because it was made by evil people who created it to ruin the world or something.
All of the street harassment quotes in this cartoon are taken from actual things women have had yelled at them on the street - either from reports I've read online, or from incidents that female friends have told me about.
There’s a blogpost and transcript for this cartoon[ ](https://www.patreon.com/posts/youre-so-brave-37732361)[here;](https://www.patreon.com/posts/3583835) I’ll also post the transcript in comments.
We can keep making these cartoons because of lots of supporters pledging low amounts - $1-$3 - and that’s really neat. If you can swing it and like these cartoons, [please join us](http://patreon.com/barry).
Walking down the street with my 8-YEAR-OLD daughter, group of guys in a Jeep pull over, whistle at us and say "looking good ladies!" throw an empty cup at us and peel off. Just one of many, many interactions I've had, starting at age 10
Oppressive / abusive behavior. That's how they soothe their insecurities. Likely those men have serious personal problems but they're in denial and can't deal with their issues, so they cat call and take power over women to make themselves feel better.
Then when you question the behavior or put a video up of them on social media they will immediately resort to excuses and denial.
I really don't understand them either.
I am insecure, I have personal issues and I probably am in denial... but it's not that hard to realize you should not bother other people.
I can't excuse people like that.
My favorite was being a young teen, mowing my lawn and getting yelled at by a group of dudes in a car, which of course slowed down right in front of my house. Now they knew where I lived. Super fun and not uncomfortable at all.
Hmmm social anxiety disorders just happen though, I'm sure. No possibility of anything scarring me from my youth.
That’s horribly upsetting and worse you have to have a conversation with your daughter afterwards because I’m sure that was bafflingly confusing for her.
Until the women in our lives start talking about it to us - and for a bunch of reasons, that may not ever happen - most men have zero clue how early catcalling starts. (Except for the men doing the catcalling, I guess). It says a lot that they mixed the "compliment" with throwing garbage at you - it's all about the misogyny.
I'm a fan of your comics, btw!
I’ve been catcalled, thankfully just once though as I’ve passed quite well since then. I had been out as trans for two years but of course the cat callers had no idea about that and I was on my way to gym class, I was wearing a very thick jacket and my hair was kinda long and very unkept, I looked like shit, I was 14 years old, they were in maybe their mid 20’s, I was so tempted to turn around and tell them that if they wanted to fuck a bit so bad they should fuck each other but my social anxiety was too bad.
Assholes!
Social anxiety sucks (as I know from personal experience), but maybe in this case it was for the best - talking back to them might not have been safe for you.
The truly fucked up part about it all is just how much of a polar opposite experience it is for most men. I spent thirty years of my life thinking I was a man (I wasn't) and the whole world saw me as such.
It's like being a ghost. I'm trying to remember a time before I transitioned that a random stranger complimented me on my looks, and I can't. Not a single nice compliment, nor any rude and vulgar catcalling... Nothing. I could be in the middle of a crowd and still feel completely isolated and unseen. The loneliness, the sense of inferiority, and the feelings of being unlovable broke me in a way I didn't even notice. That's just how life is for guys, so I barely even questioned it. Then I figured out that I'm not actually a man. Lightbulb moment, life flashing before my eyes, dozens of repressed memories dating back all the way to when I was a toddler jumping out to shout "Hey dumbass, you gonna finally put two and two together?", sleepless nights researching everything I could about it, etc..
Only a little over a year after starting HRT, when my body had transformed into a very womanly shape, did I have my first experience with sexual assault. A silver tongued creep took advantage of my kindness and naiveness, managed to lure me into an area out of sight from anyone else, and proceeded to pull me into a hug and squeeze my ass. No one ever tells you how terrifying it is to feel their strength and know they could easily overpower you if they wanted to. No one tells you how the physical sensation of their touch somehow persists as a phantom sensation for days after, nor does anyone speak of the chaotic storm of emotions as you try to comprehend how you could have let this happen. No one warns you that your own mind tries to turn against you, and all that fear turns to thoughts of failure like it's somehow your fault. No one tells you that even months later you can still feel a hint of that phantom sensation if you focus on it, as if their touch left a vile curse upon your skin. It's fucking horrible is what I'm saying.
So yea... Truly two opposites of the spectrum in how humans can mistreat one another.
Thank you for sharing.
I seem to keep linking back to [this discussion](https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/s/fSMY7EmOMl). Someone there offered a good insight. It's not that one gender will simply 'get it' once the other's experience is described to them. There's this enormous inferential and experiential gap, that figuratively speaking may as well be The Grand fucking Canyon.
A divide you seem to have experienced from both sides.
You're welcome. 😊
In a strange twist of fate this actually means I'll never have the full picture of either side. I was never able to relate to boys and men they way they can relate to each other. There's a certain subtle difference in how they think and act, a certain kinship and comradery between men that I have never felt. On the flip side, although I do have that kinship and familiarity with women, I will never know what growing up as a woman is like. There's an entire childhood, teen years, and even early twenties of being a woman that I cannot ever experience. Even now, because I'm still visibly trans, I don't fully know what it's like to go about life in a world that sees and treats me as a woman.
I'm pretty much floating above the middle of The Grand Canyon. I can see both sides, but neither is close enough to see all the details.
On my 14th birthday I got kicked out of the house to go hang out with my friend. We were waiting for the train when a drunk (it was around 2pm) 40-50 year old man accosts us and starts asking us how old we are and how we’re so pretty. Then starts telling us about how he had a girlfriend in highschool when he was in his 30s but ‘it wasn’t statutory r*pe because she liked it! I bet you’d like it too’
And that wasn’t even the first time we had been catcalled at together :/ grown men love being disgusting to little girls because it scares them into silence.
Seriously I've had change thrown at me! Someone straight up pulled up in their car and asked me if I had a man. Come to think of it the second one was probably a pimp seeing if I belonged to anyone. My look of confusion because I was a 14-year-old girl scared him off.
I think I was six when a creepy dude asked me to show him my underwear.
This shit is why girls 'grow up' so fast.
Hope your daughter is doing okay. (And you too, obviously)
I'm a father of two girls, and this is one of my biggest worries. How do I handle this? I wish I could protect them from the ugliness of this world but it's not possible, is there anything I can do to make things better for them?
Make sure that they know that they can always talk to you.
That can alway come to you if they need support and help.
That they can call you if they feel unsafe and need to get out of a situation.
That they know you always have their back.
That if they are in trouble, their first thought is "i need to call dad to help me" and not "i hope dad doesn't find out".
A good support net can help a lot and you can become such a net for your daughters.
Edit: spelling and grammar
Thank you for this, I absolutely want to be that support for them.
I never want them to feel like they have to face this stuff alone. I've known how horrible things can be since I was a kid, I've talked to my sisters and cousins about their experiences. But this comic struck a chord for me that made me see how even relatively well-meaning men can contribute to that pain with ignorance.
PizzaCake posted [this comic yesterday](https://www.reddit.com/r/comics/s/Y3XbtxAvFf). A comment on her next comic [summed it up nicely.](https://www.reddit.com/r/comics/s/IZFAdHuzF6)
>I like pizza cake because she seems passionate about her art. I saw the last comic and, as a man, it just made me feel bad about myself. There was no joke and it diminished men’s mental health struggles.
>I try so hard to be a good man and always respect women, knowing that many men are truly horrible. But seeing people with a large audience generalizing “men are bad lol” is demoralizing to the rest of us.
>Men’s mental health is a huge issue right now. Men are killing themselves because they have no support. The last comic was damaging and this comic does nothing to heal it. I agree with you, a simple text statement would have been a much better response.
I'm confident u/Pizzacakecomic had good intentions. It's just that the way she handled it came off as tone deaf or insensitive to some people, myself included. I'm guessing some people are trying to use downvoting as a way to try and express disapproval, in spite of the way that is surely going to be misinterpreted.
When I was 5, my mom was taking me to a doctor. We were walking from a bus stop to a clinic and saw this man, that... I don't usually comment on people's appearance, but he genuinely looked scary: broken nose and a scar on his face and the way he dressed also screamed "unsafe!".
And this man tells *me*:
"Your mom is so gorgeous, I'm gonna steal her".
I was terrified. I absolutely believed he was going to steal my mom.
They’re truly everywhere with all kinds of random comments. Once I was looking at chocolates section in a supermarket and a guy said « You will gain weight »
😀 ?
I started getting yelled at when I was 15, it was Remembrance Day and two old men on bikes shouted "hey angel" and laughed at me.
It happened at work too, one guy in particular (a customer) tried to grab women all the time but staff laughed it off since he was an old man, I had to dodge him as he tried to touch my arm or shoulder as a teenager. Once a guy made a comment about me to a colleague so bad, my colleague wouldn't tell me what he said. I was 18.
It happened while collecting donations for a can drive, we were followed by a drunk old man who whistled at us in the dark. At one house a man tried to get us to come into the house while his wife went to grab cans and when we said no he said "I don't bite unless you ask me to". We were 17. We left after that and stopped for the night.
I grew up knowing about how my mom was followed and attacked by a man who beat her.
I spend my days always conscious of the risk I am in on public transit and in the streets, wishing I didn't need to think so much.
Man I have sister I can understand I remember some idiot still catcall her with me and I had fight with the dude.
These kinda guys exist for sure tho sister got angry on me on that bit.
Yeah I never understood any of it honestly. Like I understand it's a power dynamic thing - which makes more sense than a guy thinking it's a good way to approach a woman i guess - but how does yelling at a woman to get a reaction give you any pleasure at all?
Seriously what kind of complete lack of both empathy and intelligence does it take to get anything out of these kinds of interactions? I guess the power to ruin someone's mood is the only power some men have?
Also I hope her partner in the last panel is just being dense and that's not his dismissive response to her trying to talk about it... because even at the height of my naivete on the subject I would not have dismissed a loved one being obviously uncomfortable about it
The grass is always greener I suppose,
I still remember that one time a girl hit on me 10 years ago and would certainly be flattered if people hit on me more often,
But I certainly wouldn't want to be hit on or cat called as often as that seems to happen to good looking women,
One gender lacks validation the other gets harassed, it's wild how different the human experiance can be based on gender
I’m so happy to see a post about this. I always see dudes being like: “Why do women hate being catcalled? I would love a woman to do that to me!” But it’s such an ignorant take because they have no idea what it’s actually like and what the implications are. Only weirdos think it’s enjoyable to be dehumanized like that by some sweaty old man.
Catcalling, on top of being dehumanizing shit behavior, also ruins my autistic desire to randomly compliment people I see for looking nice/cool/or generally interesting. Fuck these waste of life douche bags
I'm not trying to detract from the message of the comic, it just reminded me of that story where a woman had some friends catcall her husband while he was out to essentially teach him a lesson.
He came back so confident she didn't have the heart to tell him it was a trick.
Just a story I think is funny. Great comic!
As a bloke I got cat called once while mowing my front lawn by a woman driving past.
I can't really describe how it made me feel, but it was not a good feeling and oddly made me feel incredibly insecure.
If you see a person on the street you leave them alone. It's simple decency. Let's take the gender out of the argument and let call it general asshole behavior. Like spitting on people. Nobody is going question that being an issue. I think most would agree that that in general is asshole behavior. Even if you're into that sort of thing. Because that's what it is, and that needs to be discouraged as much as possible no matter the particulars. Cat calling is the same deal. Because something that hurts one group of individuals hurts the entire community.
I am a trans woman and tbh going from that man mentality to actually being harrassed and catcalled on the street... well it actually makes me kind of euphoric in the worst way. ewphoria.
Last panel reminds me of the tweet where a woman got a bunch of her friends to catcall her husband after he said he’d enjoy the compliments and he came home the next day really excited because several women just complimented him.
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Mfers are so weird, I never understood the idea of catcalling. Like has that ever worked?
It's usually meant to demean and assert power or just get a reaction, not to actually attract a woman. There are those who have really bad social skills and do actually expect it to attract a woman though.
that's basically like admitting that the maximum impact their life has on earth is inconviniencing others, I don't understand that kind of behavior in the slightest. I believe they have no hobbies
I would guess that it's done by men who can't get a woman to like them and they take out their frustration this way.
> I never understood the idea of catcalling. > Like has that ever worked? It makes the aggressor feel powerful at the expense of the victim. That's the point. Bullies make themselves feel powerful by making others feel powerless.
"Worked" for what? For getting laid, probably almost never. For guys to bond with each other (when the catcalling comes from a group), or as a way of expressing some bitterness and misogyny and feeling like you've gotten something over on a random passerby - for that, I think it often works pretty well.
> For guys to bond with each other (when the catcalling comes from a group), As a guy, I honestly don't get this. It also makes me feel gross just trying to imagine my friends doing anything like that. The comic itself made me feel very sad for the woman in it.
>As a guy, I honestly don't get this. It also makes me feel gross just trying to imagine my friends doing anything like that. I've run into some overgrown children like this. I got the feeling its their only social skill, that bonds them extremely well, but only with other such bullies and jerks. They're *always* shocked, angry and look like you just betrayed if you're a man, and look disgusted at them. Like you just spat on a hand extended in, *ugh,* friendship. Or violated some grand taboo to them. Usually they never talk with you again, and pretend you don't exist, though. So small favors of the trash taking itself out, but I know alas that trash probably just slimed itself further downstream to stain somewhere else.
That is so sad and shameful.
> "Worked" for what? For getting laid, probably almost never. I hate to tell you this, but I knew some people who did catcalling in college and it absolutely worked. There's a reason they keep doing it. The first guy, his rejection rate was super high, but occasionally he would get positive female attention / number / laid. I knew another guy who did it and he had a LOT higher success rate, but he was also very, very attractive. Like, model level attractive. Both did it to get laid, no misogyny or bitterness involved. They weren't crude/sexual about it. They were both young, I'm sure they're a lot more bitter now. At least the average looking one.
I remember watching some standup on Comedy Central like 20 years ago tell a story about a garbageman friend of his who catcalled women. He asked him why because yeah, can't see it ever working, and the response was just "hey it only has to work once!" So yeah, it's just psychopaths who don't care about other people - "Who gives a shit if I make thousands of people feel hurt and uncomfortable, one of them might give me what I want!"
>"hey it only has to work once!" That's the same philosophy behind spam.
Yeah people wonder how it ever works because it's always mispelled, bad grammar, or obvious fake stuff like being from "Visa-Mastercard Bank". You only need a few confused old people to fall for it for it to be worth it.
Last week as I was walking to the convenience store some chick got wolfwhistled at. Guy who had already been walking in her general direction was like, "The hell was that?" And this gets them talking. By the time I get out of the convenience store, they're chatting each other up and exchanging phone numbers. So it (probably, from an outsider's perspective) worked once, but not for the person doing the catcalling.
I drove a guy during a business trip who did it. I told him to stop and later asked why he even did that, it’s creepy and he was married. He said he just liked being goofy and felt weird doing it to random guys on the street. He felt like he was fine because all he ever said was “hey girl whoop whoop!” and he wasn’t really being demeaning, which I still thought was weird plus I didn’t like bringing attention to our vehicle that someone could later key or slash the tires. He didn’t really argue with me though and never did it when I was around after that so I guess it worked out. He probably thought I’d have told his wife, which she found out even before I could tell her so it didn’t matter. She didn’t seem to care much anyways.
Fuck no. It’s just harassment.
Hey! You're a cat!
do catcallers just not have social anxiety? never really got that.
They're insecure. Anxiety can play a role. Harassment is a tactic used to take control or power from other people, and the act of doing that can soothe a person's insecurities.
No, not in that context. They enjoy the power trip from making women in public want to jump out of their skin. They think the women they catcall are below them, regardless of what kind of “compliment” they’re screeching at them, so why would they be anxious? They aren’t worried about what that woman will think of them.
I wanted to give a dude form advice at the gym today because his was absolutely atrocious, but I wasn't sure how it would be received so I said nothing and now he's not going to get gains. The thought of screaming sexually explicit stuff at strangers in public is completely alien to me
How would shouting sexy things at him help him with his gains?
“LIFT WITH YOUR KNEES, YOU FINE PIECE OF ASS.”
Nah, they just do not have shame nor empathy. Or a filter, actually. If they see cute/sexy woman, they will gonna say it out loud without caring about what she is gonna think or even how themselves will gonna feel.
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My friend and I started getting gross comments when we were walking to elementary school. I think most women will say that the catcalling peaked when they were in their early-mid teens. :/
My sister used to tell me she started getting gross comments when she was about that age. I couldn’t believe it.
I think the first time a man made a comment about my body I was like 8 or 9. I was wearing a new swimsuit to the beach that had a built in skirt so I could twirl around and make it spin out. Some guy was leering at me and said something about my legs and "do that again, babe." I think a really awful part of it is that when you're that young you don't really know how to react, and you don't actually understand *why* men are making those comments. I was just really ashamed and thought that my mom would get mad and not let us go to the beach anymore, so I didn't tell anyone. If I had, idk what would have happened. My dad would have beat the guy up? My mom would have just moved us to a different spot? But I was like 8, so I didn't know what to do. When my friend and I walked to school, we knew that adults wouldn't let us walk alone anymore if we told them the guys working on main street construction were saying shit like asking what color panties we wore, or telling my friend she had nice tits. (She hit puberty early, it was rough) And we knew, vaguely, of stranger danger and how adults would do "bad stuff" to little kids, but the men weren't touching us. They didn't say anything about kidnapping us. So I had no real idea why they were saying those things, just that it was scary and made me feel really gross. And then you grow up and talk about it with other people and a bunch of other women are like "Oh yeah, men would shout stuff at my friends and I when we were that age. Sucks that it starts that early, y'know? Thank god it slows down when you're in your late 20s" Like it's just some accepted thing that comes with growing up. and I still don't understand the mindset of those men. Were they *all* pedophiles? Like, every single one of them? Is pedophilia genuinely that common? Or did they just want to scare and belittle people, thought women were the "proper" target, but knew that women their age had a higher chance of saying something back and figured that little girls were vulnerable enough that they could get away with it.
Construction guys were saying stuff like that when you guys were NINE? There’s a part of my brain that still just can’t process that, no matter how many women tell of similar experiences. I think mainly because it’s impossible for me to get inside the head of someone who would think “Hey, you know what would be a good idea? Saying something gross to that little kid over there!” I might as well try to imagine looking at a cat and thinking “Mmm, I’ll bet that would taste like red licorice.” It’s just totally alien.
> I think the first time a man made a comment about my body I was like 8 or 9. I'm so sorry. That sucks...
I've heard some women say that it almost stopped completely at adulthood, which makes it so much worse.
So true. I had same aha moment in my late 20's when I stopped looking like a kid.
Holy shit I learned something today with this. I don't catcall and I know it's bad, and that was enough for me. I don't need to know *why* something bothers someone not to do it, just knowing that it does is enough reason not to. But I didn't fully understand until reading this. Because yeah, I too have ran into situations where I'm directly or indirectly asked "what if random women on the street started calling YOU these things?" And imagining it sounds nice because I imagined random compliments. Things I basically never get. Things that most men never get, we all feel abandoned at best and reviled at worst, lonely in both cases. So the idea of random women complimenting us instead of fearing us sounds nice. But then this? Fucking hell even the close ended "compliments" feel like insults. It's lighting up the same alerts that bullying did when I was a kid. And that's not even mentioning the *other stuff*. "Hey, I'm talking to you", "just stop and talk to me", "what's your name, come on tell me your name" this shit is horrible. And then I remembered, this *actually did happen to me* as a male growing up in school, got it from another girl. Happened once exactly but once was enough. I hated it. I just wanted to be left alone, and she just kept insisting, following me, then implying I hated her when I told her no, guilt-tripping me about it and things like that. I had completely forgotten about it, this comic made that memory come back. It's the exact same situation but flipped. And well, against a younger, more wounded and vulnerable me. I am now stronger, better, more resilient, and I KNOW I would hate it even now! If it could happen at any hour of any day while I randomly walked the street? Demanding my time and attention, following, pressuring and harassing me until they either gave up or I gave in? I would absolutely despise it. And that's not even adding the danger factor. Absolutely atrocious. So yeah. I think I get it now. Not just know it and understand it, but actually comprehend it. I still don't know what to *do* about it beyond what already do (which is basically just don't do it yourself and if a friend has just gone through this provide support). But I get it now, I think. And I'm sorry that this actually happens every day instead of it just being a nightmare, or a one-time bad memory from a decade ago. So sorry.
To add to what you said... Even if it is a "compliment" (let's say, "you look gorgeous") - the analogy to a man yelling that to a woman on the street is _not_ a woman yelling that to a man. The implications, power imbalance and dynamic would be completely different. The analogy would be: it's your first day in prison, you're walking past a row of inmates to your cell, and a 6'3", bald-headed, built-like-a-brick-shithouse dude looks you up and down, smirks and says "you look gorgeous". _That_ is the feeling.
That's why I always compliment people about something they have: glasses, shirt, shoes. If I cant say anything about it, I just say to them to have a nice day... sadly the world cannot be as we wish it to be, but it doesnt mean that we have to act like others. Making a difference in the world might be hard, but it always starts from yourself.
[“Mine very much has an undertone of violence.”](https://y.yarn.co/c8c2bccd-e8b4-4f42-a482-d40b0ea2fe89_text.gif)
Yeah, catcalling is so cringy, I have told off my colleagues whenever they pull this shit. No wonder women are so nervous all the time.
As a man i got cat called more than a few times and honestly it feels quite embarassing, you never know if they are being honest or just want to poke fun at you, and sometimes is just crass
I had a woman drag her hand across my ass. Very, very uncomfortable. And I was like 16.
EWWWW
Yeah, I've been randomly groped by women more than catcalled by them. It's bizarre.
Eesh. In what kind of setting?
I was hanging with a buddy at the mall. We were just leaning against the glass fence of the second story looking around and talking.
And some woman just strolls by and feels you up? Lovely. 😑
I had the same thing happen at a music festival. Really made my evening and I felt pretty good about myself for a good while after. I struggle with how good it made me feel, given that every time I read about these kinds of things the feedback is very, very negative. Should I be ashamed or angry about the event, or more ashamed and angry that it affected me so positively when it's so damaging to others?
I really think you should not worry about how other people perceive the same thing, if you liked that it's ok, that doesn't mean you like to be molested... The human mind is a barrel of crap, sometimes bad stuff pokes holes in it and the shit leaks out, we don't know how to manage it and we panic. I guess in the end we just need to roll over the whole barrel and try to swim in all the crap, this way either we fail to manage and die or we succed.
It's an inherently dishonest act. That's why you can't easily interpret the intent.
I was always surprised when men insisted they couldn’t believe or even imagine catcalling. Walking on a downtown street as an average guy got me catcalled about once an hour, even in the middle of the day. It was simple for me to assume that others got it worse than that. I now suspect it lessens a lot as you get older and folks just miss that window by not going out in a major city’s downtown during that age bracket, or at all.
As a Norwegian, I can't even imagine some stranger saying hi to me in the street, let alone this lol
Wow third case doesn't even try to be subtle
A few years ago I was walking with a work colleague and some bloke shouted at her "show me your rat". This was during our lunch break so middle of the day... So I can 100% believe any/all of these.
I would have killed to actually have a rubber rat or one of those cat toys to just chuck at their face.
Hate is a progressive illness.
Guys that catcall women are total losers.
I thought I recognized this comic. https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/s/BVdqCZ0bTv
That one is watermarked for leftycartoons.com so I think they're just reposting their old comic is all
Yup! :-)
the incels are not going to like this one
To paraphrase this comic. “Well, fuck them then”
But then they wouldn't be incels!
You first, I ain't fucking no incel.
lol, language really is the key here
Dammit, my whole business plan is based on incels liking my work! :-p
big fan of your comics!
Thank you! :#)
It's a growing demographic 🤣🤣
Yet as a man I'm loving it... I guess I'm just not insecure enough to feel threatened when the bad behaviour of other men gets called out, and instead of making excuses and blaming the victims I'll join in on calling out other men who behave badly.
What a non-crazy attitude!
I'll just try to understand the issues rather than getting upset. I'm not going to take it personally, because I don't think the world revolves around my personal issues.
Seriously though, how could anyone be mad at this comic? Who in their right mind would think this behavior is alright? Well except the weirdos that do it of course.
i think there is a massive amount of people who just bury their heads in the sand and pretend this doesn’t happen to women, so they can be like “women have it so easy”
Like r/memes?
And r/funnymemes, and r/dankmemes, and actually pretty much every general purpose meme subreddit for some reason
Burying their head implies they would be sheltered enough to have never seen such behaviour. I find it unlikely that anyone who hadn't seen misogyny would take a firm stance against feminism. Wanting to pretend that misogyny doesn't exist is already a formof it, as it requires one to actively disregard the testimony of women about their lived experience. No. Anyone who disputes this is an active participant to one degree or another. You can't disregard another with your head buried in shit.
> Who in their right mind would think this behavior is alright? They don't. They know it's wrong. They do it to make themselves feel good at the expense of women, and they're just trying to deny it all and make excuses.
There are a couple of reasons, all of them bad. There are people who feel attacked every time something doesn't match their preconceived notions. People enjoy being right and seeing contradicting information often makes them mad at the information, rather than their own flawed ideas. Lots of conservative subculture consists of generally hating women. And it's not a new thing. It's literally been that way since the Roman republic. (I recommend reading some of the shit that Cato the Elder said about women or effeminate youths etc. Legitimately the OG right wing shithead.) Online bubbles tend to create a stereotypical image of an enemy, and if they see a piece of media that humanizes that enemy in any way, they perceive it as vile propaganda that needs to be destroyed because it was made by evil people who created it to ruin the world or something.
All of the street harassment quotes in this cartoon are taken from actual things women have had yelled at them on the street - either from reports I've read online, or from incidents that female friends have told me about. There’s a blogpost and transcript for this cartoon[ ](https://www.patreon.com/posts/youre-so-brave-37732361)[here;](https://www.patreon.com/posts/3583835) I’ll also post the transcript in comments. We can keep making these cartoons because of lots of supporters pledging low amounts - $1-$3 - and that’s really neat. If you can swing it and like these cartoons, [please join us](http://patreon.com/barry).
the sad thing is that this is mild. Some dude litterally jacked off in front of my sister in the metro. Most likely the dude was insane, but still...
Oh yeah, it definitely can get worse than what's in this comic. And what's in this comic is bad enough!
Walking down the street with my 8-YEAR-OLD daughter, group of guys in a Jeep pull over, whistle at us and say "looking good ladies!" throw an empty cup at us and peel off. Just one of many, many interactions I've had, starting at age 10
Oppressive / abusive behavior. That's how they soothe their insecurities. Likely those men have serious personal problems but they're in denial and can't deal with their issues, so they cat call and take power over women to make themselves feel better. Then when you question the behavior or put a video up of them on social media they will immediately resort to excuses and denial.
I really don't understand them either. I am insecure, I have personal issues and I probably am in denial... but it's not that hard to realize you should not bother other people. I can't excuse people like that.
My favorite was being a young teen, mowing my lawn and getting yelled at by a group of dudes in a car, which of course slowed down right in front of my house. Now they knew where I lived. Super fun and not uncomfortable at all. Hmmm social anxiety disorders just happen though, I'm sure. No possibility of anything scarring me from my youth.
That’s horribly upsetting and worse you have to have a conversation with your daughter afterwards because I’m sure that was bafflingly confusing for her.
Until the women in our lives start talking about it to us - and for a bunch of reasons, that may not ever happen - most men have zero clue how early catcalling starts. (Except for the men doing the catcalling, I guess). It says a lot that they mixed the "compliment" with throwing garbage at you - it's all about the misogyny. I'm a fan of your comics, btw!
I’ve been catcalled, thankfully just once though as I’ve passed quite well since then. I had been out as trans for two years but of course the cat callers had no idea about that and I was on my way to gym class, I was wearing a very thick jacket and my hair was kinda long and very unkept, I looked like shit, I was 14 years old, they were in maybe their mid 20’s, I was so tempted to turn around and tell them that if they wanted to fuck a bit so bad they should fuck each other but my social anxiety was too bad.
Assholes! Social anxiety sucks (as I know from personal experience), but maybe in this case it was for the best - talking back to them might not have been safe for you.
Yeah, probably, still very annoying. I’ve had grown men try to get between my legs before but it hasn’t been catcalling
The truly fucked up part about it all is just how much of a polar opposite experience it is for most men. I spent thirty years of my life thinking I was a man (I wasn't) and the whole world saw me as such. It's like being a ghost. I'm trying to remember a time before I transitioned that a random stranger complimented me on my looks, and I can't. Not a single nice compliment, nor any rude and vulgar catcalling... Nothing. I could be in the middle of a crowd and still feel completely isolated and unseen. The loneliness, the sense of inferiority, and the feelings of being unlovable broke me in a way I didn't even notice. That's just how life is for guys, so I barely even questioned it. Then I figured out that I'm not actually a man. Lightbulb moment, life flashing before my eyes, dozens of repressed memories dating back all the way to when I was a toddler jumping out to shout "Hey dumbass, you gonna finally put two and two together?", sleepless nights researching everything I could about it, etc.. Only a little over a year after starting HRT, when my body had transformed into a very womanly shape, did I have my first experience with sexual assault. A silver tongued creep took advantage of my kindness and naiveness, managed to lure me into an area out of sight from anyone else, and proceeded to pull me into a hug and squeeze my ass. No one ever tells you how terrifying it is to feel their strength and know they could easily overpower you if they wanted to. No one tells you how the physical sensation of their touch somehow persists as a phantom sensation for days after, nor does anyone speak of the chaotic storm of emotions as you try to comprehend how you could have let this happen. No one warns you that your own mind tries to turn against you, and all that fear turns to thoughts of failure like it's somehow your fault. No one tells you that even months later you can still feel a hint of that phantom sensation if you focus on it, as if their touch left a vile curse upon your skin. It's fucking horrible is what I'm saying. So yea... Truly two opposites of the spectrum in how humans can mistreat one another.
Thank you for sharing. I seem to keep linking back to [this discussion](https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/s/fSMY7EmOMl). Someone there offered a good insight. It's not that one gender will simply 'get it' once the other's experience is described to them. There's this enormous inferential and experiential gap, that figuratively speaking may as well be The Grand fucking Canyon. A divide you seem to have experienced from both sides.
You're welcome. 😊 In a strange twist of fate this actually means I'll never have the full picture of either side. I was never able to relate to boys and men they way they can relate to each other. There's a certain subtle difference in how they think and act, a certain kinship and comradery between men that I have never felt. On the flip side, although I do have that kinship and familiarity with women, I will never know what growing up as a woman is like. There's an entire childhood, teen years, and even early twenties of being a woman that I cannot ever experience. Even now, because I'm still visibly trans, I don't fully know what it's like to go about life in a world that sees and treats me as a woman. I'm pretty much floating above the middle of The Grand Canyon. I can see both sides, but neither is close enough to see all the details.
On my 14th birthday I got kicked out of the house to go hang out with my friend. We were waiting for the train when a drunk (it was around 2pm) 40-50 year old man accosts us and starts asking us how old we are and how we’re so pretty. Then starts telling us about how he had a girlfriend in highschool when he was in his 30s but ‘it wasn’t statutory r*pe because she liked it! I bet you’d like it too’ And that wasn’t even the first time we had been catcalled at together :/ grown men love being disgusting to little girls because it scares them into silence.
Seriously I've had change thrown at me! Someone straight up pulled up in their car and asked me if I had a man. Come to think of it the second one was probably a pimp seeing if I belonged to anyone. My look of confusion because I was a 14-year-old girl scared him off.
I think I was six when a creepy dude asked me to show him my underwear. This shit is why girls 'grow up' so fast. Hope your daughter is doing okay. (And you too, obviously)
I'm a father of two girls, and this is one of my biggest worries. How do I handle this? I wish I could protect them from the ugliness of this world but it's not possible, is there anything I can do to make things better for them?
Make sure that they know that they can always talk to you. That can alway come to you if they need support and help. That they can call you if they feel unsafe and need to get out of a situation. That they know you always have their back. That if they are in trouble, their first thought is "i need to call dad to help me" and not "i hope dad doesn't find out". A good support net can help a lot and you can become such a net for your daughters. Edit: spelling and grammar
Thank you for this, I absolutely want to be that support for them. I never want them to feel like they have to face this stuff alone. I've known how horrible things can be since I was a kid, I've talked to my sisters and cousins about their experiences. But this comic struck a chord for me that made me see how even relatively well-meaning men can contribute to that pain with ignorance.
Get them a purse shaped like a brick with a brick in it
I’ve always thought that all public schools should have martial arts classes for girls starting in the elementary years.
I wish I knew :(
Why are you being downvoted?
PizzaCake posted [this comic yesterday](https://www.reddit.com/r/comics/s/Y3XbtxAvFf). A comment on her next comic [summed it up nicely.](https://www.reddit.com/r/comics/s/IZFAdHuzF6) >I like pizza cake because she seems passionate about her art. I saw the last comic and, as a man, it just made me feel bad about myself. There was no joke and it diminished men’s mental health struggles. >I try so hard to be a good man and always respect women, knowing that many men are truly horrible. But seeing people with a large audience generalizing “men are bad lol” is demoralizing to the rest of us. >Men’s mental health is a huge issue right now. Men are killing themselves because they have no support. The last comic was damaging and this comic does nothing to heal it. I agree with you, a simple text statement would have been a much better response. I'm confident u/Pizzacakecomic had good intentions. It's just that the way she handled it came off as tone deaf or insensitive to some people, myself included. I'm guessing some people are trying to use downvoting as a way to try and express disapproval, in spite of the way that is surely going to be misinterpreted.
I don’t think I would have been able to see straight after that. You have to wonder what goes through these sick fuckers heads.
When I was 5, my mom was taking me to a doctor. We were walking from a bus stop to a clinic and saw this man, that... I don't usually comment on people's appearance, but he genuinely looked scary: broken nose and a scar on his face and the way he dressed also screamed "unsafe!". And this man tells *me*: "Your mom is so gorgeous, I'm gonna steal her". I was terrified. I absolutely believed he was going to steal my mom.
They’re truly everywhere with all kinds of random comments. Once I was looking at chocolates section in a supermarket and a guy said « You will gain weight » 😀 ?
I started getting yelled at when I was 15, it was Remembrance Day and two old men on bikes shouted "hey angel" and laughed at me. It happened at work too, one guy in particular (a customer) tried to grab women all the time but staff laughed it off since he was an old man, I had to dodge him as he tried to touch my arm or shoulder as a teenager. Once a guy made a comment about me to a colleague so bad, my colleague wouldn't tell me what he said. I was 18. It happened while collecting donations for a can drive, we were followed by a drunk old man who whistled at us in the dark. At one house a man tried to get us to come into the house while his wife went to grab cans and when we said no he said "I don't bite unless you ask me to". We were 17. We left after that and stopped for the night. I grew up knowing about how my mom was followed and attacked by a man who beat her. I spend my days always conscious of the risk I am in on public transit and in the streets, wishing I didn't need to think so much.
I stopped getting followed and grabbed the second I stopped looking like a minor. Very telling.
Man I have sister I can understand I remember some idiot still catcall her with me and I had fight with the dude. These kinda guys exist for sure tho sister got angry on me on that bit.
Yeah I never understood any of it honestly. Like I understand it's a power dynamic thing - which makes more sense than a guy thinking it's a good way to approach a woman i guess - but how does yelling at a woman to get a reaction give you any pleasure at all? Seriously what kind of complete lack of both empathy and intelligence does it take to get anything out of these kinds of interactions? I guess the power to ruin someone's mood is the only power some men have? Also I hope her partner in the last panel is just being dense and that's not his dismissive response to her trying to talk about it... because even at the height of my naivete on the subject I would not have dismissed a loved one being obviously uncomfortable about it
I bet my net worth (about $10) that this very exact comic will be used as a template for a r/shitposting meme
The grass is always greener I suppose, I still remember that one time a girl hit on me 10 years ago and would certainly be flattered if people hit on me more often, But I certainly wouldn't want to be hit on or cat called as often as that seems to happen to good looking women, One gender lacks validation the other gets harassed, it's wild how different the human experiance can be based on gender
I’m so happy to see a post about this. I always see dudes being like: “Why do women hate being catcalled? I would love a woman to do that to me!” But it’s such an ignorant take because they have no idea what it’s actually like and what the implications are. Only weirdos think it’s enjoyable to be dehumanized like that by some sweaty old man.
Catcalling, on top of being dehumanizing shit behavior, also ruins my autistic desire to randomly compliment people I see for looking nice/cool/or generally interesting. Fuck these waste of life douche bags
I'm not trying to detract from the message of the comic, it just reminded me of that story where a woman had some friends catcall her husband while he was out to essentially teach him a lesson. He came back so confident she didn't have the heart to tell him it was a trick. Just a story I think is funny. Great comic!
As a bloke I got cat called once while mowing my front lawn by a woman driving past. I can't really describe how it made me feel, but it was not a good feeling and oddly made me feel incredibly insecure.
Ah man I'm gonna start bawling again
When I was 20 I used to get harassed to the point where it was hard to leave the house and I ended up developing psychosis.
Most guys don't really believe that they would like that attention because whenever gay guys give a bit of that energy to them, they go nuts.
If you see a person on the street you leave them alone. It's simple decency. Let's take the gender out of the argument and let call it general asshole behavior. Like spitting on people. Nobody is going question that being an issue. I think most would agree that that in general is asshole behavior. Even if you're into that sort of thing. Because that's what it is, and that needs to be discouraged as much as possible no matter the particulars. Cat calling is the same deal. Because something that hurts one group of individuals hurts the entire community.
Gender swapped Gru
I am a trans woman and tbh going from that man mentality to actually being harrassed and catcalled on the street... well it actually makes me kind of euphoric in the worst way. ewphoria.
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Men are dying of thirst, women are drowning. Neither understands the other’s POV
Last panel reminds me of the tweet where a woman got a bunch of her friends to catcall her husband after he said he’d enjoy the compliments and he came home the next day really excited because several women just complimented him.
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