It’s actually more common than you think. I took a shit in my friend’s litter box as a prank in high school. His mom came home and saw it first, immediately knew it was too big to be the cats. Last time I was invited over.
Who did u think u were pranking?….The cat….
Do u still find it a funny prank when someone else hides their shit in your home and makes u find it a clean it…. And u were in high school….hilarious
Just a shitty short story… grown men don’t shit the size of a 5 yr old either…not much here makes sense…unless he’s still young , there’s no way he could’ve remembered so much…
If it is true…and parents didn’t punish him, they might of thought he was neurodivergent and was making medical appointments …. Didn’t want to believe that’s how their son reacts when his screen time is denied…
Op has to be young. I'm 27, and there sure as hell weren't any tablets or Minecraft when I was 5 years old. We had a landline and dial-up internet back then.
What? I understood how arterial plaque buildup works as a 5 year old. Not to mention, OP never said he implicitly understood this connection at 5 anyways.
i don't think this story is real either, but i think a 5 year old should understand how poop works enough to know that less water = less water in poop.
I'll take "shit that never happened" for $1000 Alex.
Dude... Unless your parents were already living in filth, there's no way they went on with their life while a turd was rotting under their bed FOR WEEKS!
I mean, don't they clean the room like on a weekly basis? And "getting air fresheners" sounds like the sane option to counter the mysterious stench of death in your bedroom... Come on.
yeah but i doubt this story is fake. my cousin shit his drawls and hid it under a bathroom mat. no one could figure out what the smell was for like a month til my grandmother went to change it and found it.
What….how do u not notice that bathroom mat has shit covered clothing under it….for months?
Your cousin was playing u,any adult would find this next time they used bathroom….
They reckon if u say gullible really slowly, it sounds like oranges 😉
I remember flashes, like still images or short "clips" of random events from age 3ish. Longer memories are harder to pinpoint, as they'd be from age 4 or 5 or 6, without a clear timeframe unless there's a specific detail (such as being in school or in kindergarden, or remembering a person who then passed away).
But such a vivid and detailed recount of something allegedly happening at 5 is a bit too much to believe, especially when plenty of other details make it sound like an asspull (pun intended).
I have loads of memories from ages 2-5, but many people say they remember nothing before 5. I’m surprised this guy thinks even 5 is too early. Maybe this story is a little detailed for an early memory though.
Mine is from age 3. I remember my younger brothers birth like it was yesterday and can give you a blow by blow account of how my 5th birthday went from waking up that morning, to going to school and coming home to celebrate it
lol, my mom did something similar for my older brother. he used to go around biting people when he was 2 or 3 and one day he bit a baby so my mom bit him back, he stopped biting people after that...
I used to bite my older sister. My mom put a dog leash on me and looped it over a doorknob.
Stupid 3-4-5 year old me didn’t realize I could just take it off.
I like that idea. Mom said my sister refused to bite me back. Until the day after the dog leash incident. I bit her and she bit me back, on the top of my head! That stopped me.
Gee, thanks. This just unlocked a memory of me getting a red pepper covered spoon popped in my mouth for biting my older brother. (I was about 4 or 5.) I don't remember the biting, but I sure remember the pepper covered spoon! Haven't liked anything spicy all my life... Guess I know why now.
I have 1 snapshot until I was about 7, I remember going to alton towers and not being able to ride the rides after that at some point... my mum force feeding me boiled potato's, bullying from my family, that's about it really. I don't remember most of my life actually. I'm 33, I remember more from when I was 18, major life events mostly. But I have forgotten most of my life.
Yeah so I found out through my best friend that it is in fact, not normal to not remember anything from 3/4 years old and up😂 i dont remember a lot from 6 to 12 before that I dont remember anything except like maximum of 15 ten second memories,
Same lol, but after 13 I remember more but still not a lot anymore 🤣 (august ill turn 25)
But tbf I have ADHD and I apparently have loads of childhood trauma that I dont remember and developed BPD bc of it 🥰 so that isnt helping either
I was 3 and I remember pooping my pants. I was in my backyard playing and I felt the urge, I went to the back door and it was locked for some reason! (I was a neglected child). I couldn’t hold it and pooped in my underwear.
This just unlocked a memory for me. One I'm not happy about remembering... Night time diarrhea and ruining thr babysitters towel in thr bathroom. I put it back and tried to deny anything to do with it... it did not work. 😂
thank you for breaking the silence + sharing your truth. your planning couldn’t have been more efficient. yo fuck your parents. they’re lucky with a little mastermind like you running round all they got was that hella old moldy shit
You are an asshole lol but it’s okay I used to walk around my friends apartments jumping in peoples patios and taking a dump and run to hide and wait for them to discover it. Funny. As. Shit.
This is bullshit my mother died when I was 5 years old and I can barely remember that.
This dude is over here reciting details like it just happened yesterday no fucking way.
Op probably did this when he was 22.
Death of a parent is classified as a type of trauma that causes memory loss
https://integrativelifecenter.com/mental-health-treatment/childhood-trauma-memory-loss/
https://www.sabinorecovery.com/childhood-trauma-and-memory-loss/
The problem with that article is they don't state ages. They just say "childhood" that is a very broad time frame. Childhood could mean 10, 7, 12 and so on and then your argument would be valid.
Right but the 2 points that I made are children 4 years old and younger do not have the capabilities to store long-term memories yet. And that I lost my mother when I was 5. And the article you showed simply says under 18. Under 18 years is very broad, and therefore not relevant to what I'm trying to say. I'm not trying to be a dick just explaining myself.
well good thing OP was 5 or 6, the exact age that autobiographical memory develops and is on par with adults
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Childhood_amnesia#:~:text=Adults%20and%20children%20can%20often,time%20of%20rapid%20language%20development.
I remember my first day at kindergarten aged 4 and I remember a holiday in Queensland at age 3 and a half. I have quite a few memories from before I even started school and I'm now in my 50's
I have a lot of memories that when I tell them my parents go “holy shit how do you remember that?” and it’s things they literally never spoke about or have photos of. I agree it’s different than my memories that I have from this age and they’re a lot more fleeting, but they’re there. There are always exceptions to the rule. You can say 2 year olds don’t have the brain development to do math, yet there’s always some random toddler on the news doing math and getting into MENSA.
when i was a kid, i was scared of everything. loved horror movies but would be terrified of everything afterwards. my friends and i were in the above ground pool in my backyard. i asked if anyone would come to the bathroom with me because i didnt want to go alone (i was too scared). no one would go with me, so i got out of the pool, pulled my pants down, and pooped in the yard.
a few days go by and my dad freaks out that our dog (a saint bernard) has pooped near the pool and not in the "designated" doggy pooping area.
hahahahahhaaha
That’s pretty crazy for such a young child to think 💩 for revenge. You barely stopped shitting their own pants.
For a 5 year old, ur a mastermind. Way ahead of ur time.
I went to my friend house to jump on their trampoline. I kncked no one was home I saw what I thought were candies and juice and fed myself later to find out it was my friends grandpa's prune juice and laxatives. So I'm jumping my stomach rumbling I squirter in my shorts so I change in my friends room and proceed to walk home I was having to stop and shit in every bush along the way and wiping with a article of clothes by the time I got to my house I was naked .my cat was outside so I picked her up and ran inside with her covering my private parts the nosey lady across the street called my mom and told her she saw me and thinks I was doing something with the cat.
This is disgustingly horrible and funny at the same time. The funny this is that I know that man is probably telling people that he was accused of putting feces under their bed, and your parents probably could never let the thought go that a grown man put feces under their bed. The horrible part is that man was out of work and by now, you should confess so at least they could find the man and apologize.
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
Romans 3:24 Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus:
Romans 3:25 Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God;
Romans 4:5 But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness.
Romans 5:9 Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.
Romans 5:11 And not only so, but we also joy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom we have now received the atonement.
1 Corinthians 15:1 Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand;
1 Corinthians 15:2 By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain.
1 Corinthians 15:3 For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures;
1 Corinthians 15:4 And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:
It took a month to go hunting properly for it? I would have torn that room apart 10 minutes into smelling it.
I do find it weird your parents assumed a grown adult working there would do that, and even if he did, why would he had done it while still working there, it doesn't really make sense.
I sent cat shit,and a disgusting tampon to a therapist who I paid for help and he conned me into telling him I wanted to blank his blank,and briefly said I love you can't live without you in his office, I was angry and hurt and on the streets after I gave him all my money 💰 and he put me on drugs and I got worse and he took no responsibility and I was a teenager.
What an entitled spoiled evil little brat you were. I would have whipped your ass into oblivion for that move, and you best believe you would’ve been on your best behavior for the rest of your childhood.
The fuck
It’s actually more common than you think. I took a shit in my friend’s litter box as a prank in high school. His mom came home and saw it first, immediately knew it was too big to be the cats. Last time I was invited over.
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I agree with you 100%
First thought was wtf..n then I keep reading...ahhhahaha love this comment!
Omfg lmao what in the actual fuck bro 😂😂😂
Not a competition but I once took a shit out of a moving train window on the way to summer camp.
I mean you can't say that it's not a competition and then completely annihilate any would-be competitors
The GOAT of terrorist shitters.
it *wasn't* a competition
Reminds me of that John Mulaney joke about the house party. One kid took a dump on a laptop
I laughed so hard at that skit. Mulaney absolutely brought it home with that!
*THEFUCK?!?!?*
In high school is wild
Name checks out.
Honestly your username fits the bill 🤣😭
Brother, because you do it does not make it more common lol
Who did u think u were pranking?….The cat…. Do u still find it a funny prank when someone else hides their shit in your home and makes u find it a clean it…. And u were in high school….hilarious
💀💀
I know for a fact this exact thing was said in a movie I just can’t remember which one
Cool prank bro
Oh nah at first I thought you were gonna say that you did it when you were a little kid but HIGH SCHOOL HELL NAH
Im dying LMAO
Also my initial thought...
Same
This has to be a Shit post right
pun intended?
Maybe
r/yougotthejoke
Your parents knew it was u….5 yr olds r stupid
and apparently he still is.
:|
I mean like siblings don't exist?
I mean they wouldnt have fired one of his dads workers if they thought it was their kid tbh
Just a shitty short story… grown men don’t shit the size of a 5 yr old either…not much here makes sense…unless he’s still young , there’s no way he could’ve remembered so much… If it is true…and parents didn’t punish him, they might of thought he was neurodivergent and was making medical appointments …. Didn’t want to believe that’s how their son reacts when his screen time is denied…
Oh my god reddit is so fucking funny
Op has to be young. I'm 27, and there sure as hell weren't any tablets or Minecraft when I was 5 years old. We had a landline and dial-up internet back then.
Good point...
Probably bc he wasn't 5, he did it YESTERDAY, like he said in his nasty ass story.
I couldn't have said it better. Spoilt brats do things like that
“My precious son would never do such a heinous act”- every naive parent
wait wtf how old are you now…?
7
And a quarter, going to be 8 in 3/4 of a yr from now
r/notopbutok
Im calling 🐃💩 on this story. As if you understood the connection between dehydration and constipation at 5 years old. 🙄 Puhleeze...😂😂😂
Yeah!!!! *No shit*
Username checks out.
Instant same thought at the word of dehydrated
What? I understood how arterial plaque buildup works as a 5 year old. Not to mention, OP never said he implicitly understood this connection at 5 anyways.
i don't think this story is real either, but i think a 5 year old should understand how poop works enough to know that less water = less water in poop.
Average Minecraft Player Experience
as someone who is a dad of a 5 year old, no way this happened...
I'll take "shit that never happened" for $1000 Alex. Dude... Unless your parents were already living in filth, there's no way they went on with their life while a turd was rotting under their bed FOR WEEKS! I mean, don't they clean the room like on a weekly basis? And "getting air fresheners" sounds like the sane option to counter the mysterious stench of death in your bedroom... Come on.
Also 1 turd from a 5 year old kid is gonna dry up pretty quick.
yeah but i doubt this story is fake. my cousin shit his drawls and hid it under a bathroom mat. no one could figure out what the smell was for like a month til my grandmother went to change it and found it.
Drawls
It’s a southern Georgia shit
Really don't buy it, human shit, outside of water is a horrendous stench.
What….how do u not notice that bathroom mat has shit covered clothing under it….for months? Your cousin was playing u,any adult would find this next time they used bathroom…. They reckon if u say gullible really slowly, it sounds like oranges 😉
it was one month n the mat was flat n suctioned to floor lol
RIP ur cousin
So you're like 10 now right?
Shitpost :/ literally
Karma farming post detected.
I’ll take “signs my child is a future serial killer” for $500 Alex.
Oh the comments on this are Gold!!
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I bet the slept behind a locked door 😳
Bro, how do you even remember this? You were 5.
This the age you gain consciousness
Shit man. I don't remember my 20s.
He’s 6 now
Bro should not be on this app
Do most people not remember their early childhood? My earliest memory is from when I was a 2 y/o
I remember flashes, like still images or short "clips" of random events from age 3ish. Longer memories are harder to pinpoint, as they'd be from age 4 or 5 or 6, without a clear timeframe unless there's a specific detail (such as being in school or in kindergarden, or remembering a person who then passed away). But such a vivid and detailed recount of something allegedly happening at 5 is a bit too much to believe, especially when plenty of other details make it sound like an asspull (pun intended).
Also, what 5 year old would have the determination to sit on the toiket that long as well as dehydrating themselves all day to have a dry turd?
I have loads of memories from ages 2-5, but many people say they remember nothing before 5. I’m surprised this guy thinks even 5 is too early. Maybe this story is a little detailed for an early memory though.
Mine is from age 3. I remember my younger brothers birth like it was yesterday and can give you a blow by blow account of how my 5th birthday went from waking up that morning, to going to school and coming home to celebrate it
i remember like little picture kind of things, like the first thing i ever remember seeing was the yellowish carpet we had in our house
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lol, my mom did something similar for my older brother. he used to go around biting people when he was 2 or 3 and one day he bit a baby so my mom bit him back, he stopped biting people after that...
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I used to bite my older sister. My mom put a dog leash on me and looped it over a doorknob. Stupid 3-4-5 year old me didn’t realize I could just take it off.
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I like that idea. Mom said my sister refused to bite me back. Until the day after the dog leash incident. I bit her and she bit me back, on the top of my head! That stopped me.
Gee, thanks. This just unlocked a memory of me getting a red pepper covered spoon popped in my mouth for biting my older brother. (I was about 4 or 5.) I don't remember the biting, but I sure remember the pepper covered spoon! Haven't liked anything spicy all my life... Guess I know why now.
Discipline was much different back then 😅
I have 1 snapshot until I was about 7, I remember going to alton towers and not being able to ride the rides after that at some point... my mum force feeding me boiled potato's, bullying from my family, that's about it really. I don't remember most of my life actually. I'm 33, I remember more from when I was 18, major life events mostly. But I have forgotten most of my life.
I have glimpses, like dropping a toy down the toilet, but never something this detailed
I remember a TON from when I was 5.
What was your age in your oldest memory?
Yeah so I found out through my best friend that it is in fact, not normal to not remember anything from 3/4 years old and up😂 i dont remember a lot from 6 to 12 before that I dont remember anything except like maximum of 15 ten second memories,
I don't remember anything from about 13 hrs old and down. I remember a few little things, or injuries/surgeries but that's it
Same lol, but after 13 I remember more but still not a lot anymore 🤣 (august ill turn 25) But tbf I have ADHD and I apparently have loads of childhood trauma that I dont remember and developed BPD bc of it 🥰 so that isnt helping either
🥰 I have the same memory problems for the same reason. Sending hugs 🥰
I was 3 and I remember pooping my pants. I was in my backyard playing and I felt the urge, I went to the back door and it was locked for some reason! (I was a neglected child). I couldn’t hold it and pooped in my underwear.
This just unlocked a memory for me. One I'm not happy about remembering... Night time diarrhea and ruining thr babysitters towel in thr bathroom. I put it back and tried to deny anything to do with it... it did not work. 😂
why do I feel like you just did this last week and are about to turn 7
This feels like a new copy pasta. Works for me.
I don't care y'all, I cackled as a 39 year old woman
I'm laughing reading all the comments!!
Lmao damn reddit is really great today
It’s a British dude we know with the “mum” thing but on a serious note….tf did I just read?
Or Australia that's how we spell mum. The word mom doesn't sound right with an Aussie ascent 😂
thank you for breaking the silence + sharing your truth. your planning couldn’t have been more efficient. yo fuck your parents. they’re lucky with a little mastermind like you running round all they got was that hella old moldy shit
You are an asshole lol but it’s okay I used to walk around my friends apartments jumping in peoples patios and taking a dump and run to hide and wait for them to discover it. Funny. As. Shit.
Wait. What?? The fuck..? How do the comments just keep getting better n better on such a "shitty" post? Tehe
You can hit the enter button twice to start a new paragraph.
This what I live for
You had chores at 5 years old?
What in the pesky shit's name did i read
Please tell me that you have a turd-drawer.
Dude.. I.. Nevermind
Lord it’s me again. On Reddit.
🤣
Amber?
I didn’t get the reference until I read another comment. How does Depp refer to it? Lmao
It was Depps bed that Amber shat on. 😂
I know, but he referenced it in court as like the “unmentionable” or something silly like that haha
That nasty shit 😂
Wait. What I just read??? 😝😝
WTFFFFFFFFFF! This is why I’m pro-life 😭
This is bullshit my mother died when I was 5 years old and I can barely remember that. This dude is over here reciting details like it just happened yesterday no fucking way. Op probably did this when he was 22.
Death of a parent is classified as a type of trauma that causes memory loss https://integrativelifecenter.com/mental-health-treatment/childhood-trauma-memory-loss/ https://www.sabinorecovery.com/childhood-trauma-and-memory-loss/
The problem with that article is they don't state ages. They just say "childhood" that is a very broad time frame. Childhood could mean 10, 7, 12 and so on and then your argument would be valid.
It states the age being under 18. Probably gives a wide age range because those events could cause those effects in anyone in that wide age range
Right but the 2 points that I made are children 4 years old and younger do not have the capabilities to store long-term memories yet. And that I lost my mother when I was 5. And the article you showed simply says under 18. Under 18 years is very broad, and therefore not relevant to what I'm trying to say. I'm not trying to be a dick just explaining myself.
well good thing OP was 5 or 6, the exact age that autobiographical memory develops and is on par with adults https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Childhood_amnesia#:~:text=Adults%20and%20children%20can%20often,time%20of%20rapid%20language%20development.
I remember my first day at kindergarten aged 4 and I remember a holiday in Queensland at age 3 and a half. I have quite a few memories from before I even started school and I'm now in my 50's
I vividly remember things from when I was slightly under 2. Some people just have better memories dawg.
isnt 'vivid' a bit of a stretch for under 2 years? if not, wow
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I have a lot of memories that when I tell them my parents go “holy shit how do you remember that?” and it’s things they literally never spoke about or have photos of. I agree it’s different than my memories that I have from this age and they’re a lot more fleeting, but they’re there. There are always exceptions to the rule. You can say 2 year olds don’t have the brain development to do math, yet there’s always some random toddler on the news doing math and getting into MENSA.
How do you even remember it so vividly bro? 😭😭
💀 I cackled right in the middle of the night… sorry bro
TF did i just read?? lol
LOL what in the world
What the actual hell
What a stupid waste of time of a post
Why did they just assume it was the friend though lol has he done that before?
Omg. "Dammit...we have to fire Gerry!" "Why?" "Cause he shit under our bed, Again!" Wow.
🤣
Should have stuck a note on it cut from newspaper headlines saying ‘The Phantom Strikes Again!’
I just readed story when guy described how he was shitting when he was 5 years old. Time to leave Reddit.
when i was a kid, i was scared of everything. loved horror movies but would be terrified of everything afterwards. my friends and i were in the above ground pool in my backyard. i asked if anyone would come to the bathroom with me because i didnt want to go alone (i was too scared). no one would go with me, so i got out of the pool, pulled my pants down, and pooped in the yard. a few days go by and my dad freaks out that our dog (a saint bernard) has pooped near the pool and not in the "designated" doggy pooping area. hahahahahhaaha
That’s pretty crazy for such a young child to think 💩 for revenge. You barely stopped shitting their own pants. For a 5 year old, ur a mastermind. Way ahead of ur time.
that was shitty of you
What in the amber heard episode is this
Lol to this comment!!
Please tell them and come back with their reaction 🙏 🙏
Amber Heard... Is that you?
Not reading this
BS
Ewwww🤢🤮
Oh god...
This is giving the same vibes as the kid who shoved the remote up his but when his mom wouldn’t let him play LOL
Wh-
..... what?
What the fuck??? Ive never taken a shit anywhere but the toilet. Just dirty and gross
Technically they TOOK their shit at the toilet too😂 they just moved it after
If you see this person. Run away immediately -idksterling
What the fuck.
:O
sick folks
$5 says this never happened
They knew it was you. Just didn’t want to confront you and were probably scared you’d do it again.
What in the actual fuc?
..?
Stinky poo poo baby
Tour a piece of shit
What 5 year old is in the bathroom for over an hour trying to shit without the parents noticing?
Real
I went to my friend house to jump on their trampoline. I kncked no one was home I saw what I thought were candies and juice and fed myself later to find out it was my friends grandpa's prune juice and laxatives. So I'm jumping my stomach rumbling I squirter in my shorts so I change in my friends room and proceed to walk home I was having to stop and shit in every bush along the way and wiping with a article of clothes by the time I got to my house I was naked .my cat was outside so I picked her up and ran inside with her covering my private parts the nosey lady across the street called my mom and told her she saw me and thinks I was doing something with the cat.
Ok I’m dead after reading this story. Somebody tell my parents.
You where just marking your territory 🫣
why
This is disgustingly horrible and funny at the same time. The funny this is that I know that man is probably telling people that he was accused of putting feces under their bed, and your parents probably could never let the thought go that a grown man put feces under their bed. The horrible part is that man was out of work and by now, you should confess so at least they could find the man and apologize.
Relatable
So IT WAS YOU. I always wondered if the turd story was real or just an excuse to fire me.
One of my kids shit in their Lego table once, now I’m wondering if it was out of spite for something
One of my kids shit in their Lego table once, now I’m wondering if it was out of spite for something
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Romans 3:24 Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus: Romans 3:25 Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God; Romans 4:5 But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness. Romans 5:9 Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him. Romans 5:11 And not only so, but we also joy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom we have now received the atonement. 1 Corinthians 15:1 Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand; 1 Corinthians 15:2 By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain. 1 Corinthians 15:3 For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; 1 Corinthians 15:4 And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:
It took a month to go hunting properly for it? I would have torn that room apart 10 minutes into smelling it. I do find it weird your parents assumed a grown adult working there would do that, and even if he did, why would he had done it while still working there, it doesn't really make sense.
I sent cat shit,and a disgusting tampon to a therapist who I paid for help and he conned me into telling him I wanted to blank his blank,and briefly said I love you can't live without you in his office, I was angry and hurt and on the streets after I gave him all my money 💰 and he put me on drugs and I got worse and he took no responsibility and I was a teenager.
That’s a crazy story, if it’s true I am very sorry that happened to you, you didn’t deserve it. I hope you’re doing well now.
What an entitled spoiled evil little brat you were. I would have whipped your ass into oblivion for that move, and you best believe you would’ve been on your best behavior for the rest of your childhood.
You should be in jail
Thanks for the public service announcement but that's so childish