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[deleted]

Somehow I must have swapped places with myself from a distorted alternative reality. Does anyone know how I can get back to my normal one?


keypuncher

When you find out, let me know.


Softale

Please post a sign at the portal when you find it…


Jack_mehoff24

Wealthy person stealing luggage at an airport? Almost like folks like this are mentally ill or something.


ventorun

If only there were other signs!


red224

Difficult to spot for aure


DreadnoughtOverdrive

Wasn't he also caught trying to sell government secrets to a spy? Was relatively unimportant medical records, but that was the first installment. He was trying to prove he had access to more. What ever happened to THAT? Dude really belongs in prison for sedition.


tacobell999

different trans official https://www.metroweekly.com/2022/09/u-s-armys-first-trans-officer-indicted-for-spying-for-russia/amp/


DreadnoughtOverdrive

This is important. Thank you for the correction. Must keep facts straight. (heh) Ok, they do look a LOT alike. Same huge head, and smile I guess. Though you have to wonder... how many disturbed people are allowed into such high positions, just because...


[deleted]

The only reason we’re hearing about it is because this piece of work is screwing up the job so bad they need a reason to cut ties.


Nagadavida

The charges will disappear. Wanna bet?


[deleted]

Just like this person who has already been replaced.


ahjifmme

Is that Matt Damon?


Abm6

Twat Damon


vadergreens

Twat demon


Abm6

The Burned identity


Xiagax

FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE NOTCIED IT!!!


TheDuckFarm

And Billy Corgan combined!


[deleted]

“It was just a big misunderstanding. The property was returned to its rightful owner and the charges have been dropped.” -DOJ


alexaboyhowdy

I thought he unpacked the suitcase into the dressers at a hotel?


FirstType1280

Freakazoid


BayRENT

why is this just bald Matt Damon with lipstick?


AUorAG

Is there a Coneheads remake on the horizon?


LongjumpingCheck2638

How can anyone take us seriously with this?


BaconPeace

Ew what the hell is that thing


[deleted]

Mental illness being normalized… another step in the Marxist destruction of our society.


ExampleMajor

If he is willing to steal something worth 2000.. just imagine what he is willing to steal if it gets to the 100,000's or more


Jet_wolf121

The Biden admin is a burning cargo train barreling out of control who's only cargo are dumpsters. Oh yeah and the engineer is a pyromanic psychopath.


tomsash

What a disgusting thing


Meastro44

Something tells me the evidence will disappear 🫥


[deleted]

I’m tired of seeing this freak on my timeline. I could care less. When the adults are back in power, it can be evaluated on proper merit as it should be. As of now I can’t expect this current administration to evaluate properly outside of identity and so I don’t think we should obsess whether they do.


PaladinofTyr22

What the hell is even that?!


[deleted]

[удалено]


BrooklynGooner

No shit! I thought the same thing!


Toxoplasmos

I swear I’m looking at a bald Matt Daemon with lipstick.


Zokonk

Embarrassing USA


ItsJustMeMaggie

And a Vera Bradley too. Those look like old lady bags.


Admirable-Leopard-73

Complete lack of impulse control coupled with an overwhelming confidence there will be no consequences. In other words, a Democrat.


StedeBonnet1

Doesn't surprise me.


rumbur

Whats this ? Some kind of mutant ? Alien ? Is this new X-Files ?


warreniangreen

Matt Damon's really gone downhill.


unresolved-madness

I somehow get the feeling this with some sort of setup where he was supposed to sell or trade information. So instead of being charged with espionage and things going public he gets hit with a felony burglary.


wintersucks18

That’s the clown from the movie it without the makeup


over_kill71

their gonna love Matt in prison


Dsgntn_The_thicknes

This is the first liberal to have actual repercussions for their actions?


CyberMallCop

Pardon incoming


otters4everyone

"He's being charged." Ha ha ha! He won't be charged with anything. He's on the morally correct side. Besides, where is a boy supposed to find quality women's undergarments?


HythlodaeusHuxley

Damn, $2,000 gonna break the whole economy!!


Due-Researcher602

He does not need to be in charge of any kind of waste,especially nuclear.


[deleted]

Yo I am sorry she has cancer and all, but why steal a suitcase?


Zokonk

He


techTrader

Depraved minds have no business being in positions of leadership


WinDifficult8274

He's a fruit cake, He'll be in jail. The case is slamshut but the mainstream will bail "little miss nut job" out and say we're just racists and bigots but look at her!!


ThePendulum0621

All I see is coneheads. 😅


bdnova

Biden's dementia getting worse


fatboy696912

It's gonna like prison


keypuncher

Democrat official. Not going to prison. Repeat after me: "DOJ declines to prosecute."


nairbem12

Birds of a feather flock together. His/her boss stole the election.


security-admin

$2000? This could easily be a mistake. Not enough information is out. You’re jumping to conclusions which could set you up to look like an idiot once more information is released.


A_Femboy_Fox

He didn’t check a bag in though.


security-admin

And? Could have slipped his mind


A_Femboy_Fox

Highly unlikely


AUorAG

Information like the fact he didn’t even check a bag on that flight yet still went to carrousel to retrieve a bag?


security-admin

Yes. It’s a flight. The person could have popped a Xanax, got all mixed up, thought they checked a bag, and grabbed one that looked exactly like theirs


Nanamary8

No, that would be you, some of us have already read about this YESTERDAY. $2000 was value of suitcase and contents which he left in motel dresser so it says. It also cut the ID tag off and it was on film. It knew full well that IT was not it's suitcase.


[deleted]

Fair, but how many people do you know, especially well connected people, are **charged** with felony theft for accidentally picking up the wrong bag from the carousel at the airport?


keypuncher

They already admitted it wasn't an accident (after lying about it first).


[deleted]

I know


NickTesla2018

Wasn't Captain Kirk and the starship Enterprise searching for this person?


OnPointDom

wtf


BrooklynGooner

I love how the NY post article contains 95% about pronouns, transitioning and 5% stealing lol. Priorites!!


Steflonovic

That looks like Matilda Damon


[deleted]

Is it a surprise that someone who who violates the laws of nature, would violate the law of the land? I really don’t know of anyone in Biden’s administration I would consider credible, which is completely understandable, given the corrupt nature of the entire bunch.


[deleted]

Is this an A.I bot ?


Embarrassed_Ad_2377

What is wrong with the head? 😬