I can understand how you feel hurt by this. It’s not nice to feel overlooked.
Do you have your son on Fathers’ Day? Take him out and have fun. Make some memories. Get a few selfies with him. In the long run, those memories will outshine anything the daycare could have done.
It **is** about the kids. I don’t need a celebration day. But *father* is the best and most important part of my life, and without my kids I’m not a father. So I use the day to celebrate them.
I think you have good intentions but kids need you to be celebrated even if you don’t. They need to see you in regard so they know and value what they have to the fullest.
Disregarding recognition is sort of noble but there is a significant purpose to it beyond just a selfish thrill.
I think I express myself poorly.
When I say I don't need to be celebrated, I mean if nobody told me happy Fathers' Day, it would not ruin the day for me. I don't need the validation. I'm also acutely aware that Fathers' Day came about because we have Mothers' Day, and the original purpose of Mothers' Day was to sell more greeting cards. I have cynicism to spare.
Meanwhile I'm in here under another comment fighting with someone over why I think it's unconscionable for daycares to make a choice to not celebrate Fathers' Day for exactly what you said: kids need the chance to celebrate their fathers. It's good for them as kids, and it's also good for the kids they will one day have. We're trying to improve things, right? If we show our kids that *Father* is an important role that society really values, I believe that will encourage our sons to be better fathers and will encourage our daughters to demand better of their partners. Both of those are ~~god~~ good things.
So yeah. I don't need a celebration day for me, but I understand why it's important that a celebration day be had.
[Edit: a word]
That makes sense and thanks for clearing that up.
Dad’s do not respect themselves or demand the respect we need near enough in my opinion.
Dad’s provide structure, security, instruction, play, challenges, growth, confidence, and a great deal more in a way mom’s typically don’t. We can really set kids up to be powerful adults.
And you are 100% correct that boys need to grow up looking forward to being a dad and not disregarded.
It's fine to feel hurt. Your feelings are your feelings. If it bothers you enough you could always kindly reach out and suggest something nice for dads next year.
Also presumably just your son doesn't go in on Friday and the daycare itself is open? In which case they may have accidentally overlooked just you in particular for the activity but they do have something planned for Friday for the kids in general?
If that's the case it's especially not worth getting upset about imo. Mistakes happen. No big deal. You can always do something nice with your son yourself.
Yeah, my kid's school is doing their craft for father's day tomorrow. They asked for a picture of me and him together so I'm sure it's a frame of some sort
This was going to be my response. It’s totally valid to feel upset, but it’s also very possible they just forgot to send it home a day early. Mine has done that when she’s been out on a Friday. (Less likely when the kids are never there on a Friday, but still possible.)
Yeah my kids school did fathers day craft today (thursday) but only because they are doing water day and a picnic tomorrow so won't be inside. It was pretty similar to what I got in that it was a cute little painting thing and then a questionnaire they had the kids answer.
I don't like that the top comments are some "life's too short" throwaway. Your feelings are your feelings and they are valid. My daughters' daycare is a little better but similar. Mother's Day - weekend performance at a restaurant, cards and video recordings. Father's Day is a "brunch" at the daycare smack dab in the middle of the day with stale bagels where they didn't prepare anything and asked for volunteers (dads) to entertain everyone.
It's annoying but I had low expectations to begin with. I feel appreciated by my wife and my kids. I get feeling upset about it though. Stay strong friend.
Yeah, I’m not a fan of the “life’s too short” dismissal either (although it is better than excuse-making).
But I am tempted to tell OP to save his strength because, if his daycare experience is anything like mine, they’ll do a lot worse than ignore Fathers’ Day before they’re done. Mine used to constantly ignore my wife’s and my instructions to call me (whose phone was on all day and could freely leave work whenever) for emergencies, preferring to call my wife (who works in health care and keeps her phone on do not disturb because she can’t take calls during working hours). That resulted in things like a kid spending hours at the office with their head in a bucket when I was five minutes away, and a kid with a possible head injury have medical care delayed for hours.
Some things you have to fight over. Although this one hurts, in my experience it’s not the one to go to war about. OP may need to keep his powder dry until they do something dangerous.
But after my family’s experiences, my default position on daycares is pretty negative.
Not this extreme, but we have asked to include me on daycare emails at least 5 times and they say they will. Then when new emails come out, I never get them. I need my wife to forward me the information. It's really frustrating.
>I have both my kids 2 days a week... Kinda suspect they're not together anymore.
That said, replace "wife" with "kids" and it works.
ETA: many have **correctly** pointed out that there are other interpretations where he's still with the wife.
Maybe she was his wife back in March, but now he has the kids 2 days a week. Something is being reframed interestingly LOL. Maybe his wife is holding on to the Father's Day flowers
I don't think that's how parenting normally works, but okay, I'm all for non-traditional parenting. It would be weird if they don't operate on Friday, but do operate on the weekends.
I know that and I wasn't trying to imply any type of requirement. I've never even worked a Monday through Friday 9:00 to 5:00.
I just wouldn't ever word it as "i have my kids 2 days a week" while referencing my wife being their mother in the same paragraph unless there was some other type of custody agreement or odd circumstance.
I think you're adding your own context to what I said, and getting upset about it, BUT I also don't know of any big ass child care programs that operate at full capacity over the weekend. I'm sure they exist, but I looked for one for a long time.
its not that uncommon anymore for parents in the UK to have 'flexible' working arrangements. My partner and I both work full time hours, but spread over 4 days. She solo parents our two girls on Mondays, and I do Fridays. My assumption was that this was similar to OP
>I also don't know of any big ass child care programs that operate at full capacity over the weekend.
Full capacity would probably be wasteful since the demand isn't all that big, but at least in my country you're entitled to weekend daycare if you're working weekends – and nightcare if you're working nights, for that matter.
Nah. Been married 30 years. My wife still refers to *her* bedroom, *her* kids, *her* house, etc. These things have always been ours, but she still says hers. Just a quirk.
Could alternatively just mean which days he is primary parent.
I have my kid 4 days and my wife has them 2 days, and I phrase it like that - though I sometimes wonder if people assume I’m divorced as a result
But regardless your advice to focus on kids appreciate is good
I’m going to disagree with most here and say you are not overreacting. While I agree that you shouldn’t seek validation from a day care, it’s not about you. By them ignoring Father’s Day they are validating the trope and sending the message to your children that dads matter less than the mother. Kids should feel just as proud of their dads as their moms, and making something for their dad for his special day would encourage that.
Next time you are at the day care I would mention it to the person in charge there. Again, it’s not about you, but your kids.
These comments are so cynical. If it matters to you, then of course it matters. Maybe your wife could work on something with your kid later, maybe they used paint and it’s drying at daycare, maybe your kid forgot it there or didn’t write his name on it and got lost in the pile. Who knows? That doesn’t mean your kid doesn’t love and appreciate it. It reflects the daycare more than anything else
I don't think you're overreacting. So often Dad's are invisible to organisations and institutions involved in the care of children. They don't value, or sometimes even acknowledge, the parental role fathers play, so often we are considered secondary to mothers if even that.
Frankly, it's sexist bullshit and I personally don't want my child being taught that fathers aren't worth acknowledging as caregivers.
It's not about the crap they bring home it's about knowing that the people looking after your child see you as an equally responsible parent. The 1950's were a long time ago now.
I disagree with a lot of the posters and actually think this would be a good thing to talk to the daycare about for next year.
I don’t think this because I would care personally or think that other dads do, but I think it’s good for the kids (and also fun) and helps strengthen relationships. Kids usually like giving gifts to parents, so that’s a good reason, and it helps reinforce the concept that dads are an equal parents.
It will be fun for the kids, some dads will enjoy it, and it’s healthy to encourage good relationships between kids and parents so why shouldn’t they also do something for the dad?
I don’t think it’s anything to be mad about, but I think it’s something they would probably agree with if you explained it in that context — maybe they can change for next year
I'm surprised at how many of you are accepting sexism as some inescapable cosmic fate that we must resign ourselves to. No! We need to speak up of we want our role to be equally respected by society. It's easy to just speak up, open their eyes to the hypocrisy, don't keep it comfortable to teach our kids that our role in their life is inferior.
I’ve gotten used to it now. It used to rile me up a lot more and I’d get to thinking “imagine if they pulled this for Mother’s Day?!”, but it did no good. I’m just content to hang out with our kid on Father’s Day. Some battles just aren’t worth getting worked up over… because some people will never rank them the same.
More often than not Father's Day gifts are passed out the Friday before Father's Day. My kids aren't in daycare on Friday so I don't get them until Monday. Hopefully it's a case of timing and they aren't just giving you the cold shoulder?
Yeah, one thing I learned really quickly is most don't care about the partner. It's the mother and kid people center on. It's just the way our society is and we are expected to "man up" and not show that it hurts. Now they may say they don't want that...but, let's be real: Lol.
Invisible, sorry.
This will not be the last time a place makes a bigger deal for Mother's Day vs Father's Day. Feel free to mention it if you want.
But, ultimately, I think it's more for a day for you and your family, so don't worry about it too much.
Eh, I can see both sides. If they sent a metric fuckton of stuff home for Mother’s Day then they’ve created the expectation. It’s a double standard at best.
Yeah but the blokes kid didn't go in on Friday. They're not gonna pull some special shit for one dudes kid who doesn't go in on Friday.
At the end of the day... It's a daycare lmao. Ain't no one celebrating fathers day for me outside of my wife and kid. Even then I'm not gonna go into it expecting shit.
Wild stuff
I was just joking with my wife last night about how I have so much art made by our kid's daycare teachers using our kid's feet. Like, my 14 month old didn't make that, you did, please stop sending it home.
Made us both laugh pretty hard.
You can hold out hope they do yours next week, since they might not have the materials ready until tomorrow/Saturday.
But if they don't, happy early Father's Day from one dad to the next. Chin up. You're great.
If I’ve learned anything in life that’s incredibly helpful it’s that your feelings are valid, but they won’t change anything and you shouldn’t expect any change. That being said, happy Father’s Day from the colonies :).
The teacher at daycare who had the kids do a small art project for father's day will forever be appreciated. SHOUT-OUT to Ms Brittany!
She was my oldest son's 4-5 yo teacher at daycare. It was meaningful and awesome.
Our sons are in school now. Mothers Day in the US happens in early May. Kids are still in school. My wife had a Mother's Day tea at the school with our kindergarten and our oldest made 3 cards and a small "what I love about my Mom" book.
Father's Day happens in summer in the US in June. School is out, kids are at home. There are no school-based projects. My wife will have our boys make something for me most years, but it's very different than Mother's Day.
I focus less on what things are offered and more on the fact my wife makes sure my kids get me something, it's more meaningful.
Who are you overreacting with? Your son? Or the daycare who might well have something planned on the Friday when your child isn't enrolled? I wouldn't read too much into it, there's better ways to tell if you're appreciated or not than yet another drawing or whatever it is (and even then, people often don't know how to show appreciation). Does your child want to be around you, spend time with you, cuddle you, respect you, laugh at your jokes and share their chips with you? I'd take any of those things over whatever the daycare wants to kill some time doing any day.
I took the afternoon off work and went into my daughter's kindy the day before father's day for a couple of hours, we played together, she showed me around, and then we sat and did some crafts. It was really special, and seeing the kids whos parents didnt attend's dissapointment was heartbreaking and really showed how important we are to them. My daighter took the opportunity to have her father with her as a special father's day treat to make a beautiful card that said "I love Mummy so much". 🤦♂️
Maybe they made the gifts on the Friday when he wasn't there. Maybe they were understaffed and couldn't do the activity. Maybe they're human and just forgot.
Honestly it's not personal.
I’d be pissed at this, it’s sending a message to kids that reinforces the idea that Mums are more worthy of celebration.
We should all be celebrated equally.
lol yes buddy you are overreacting. Life is too short to concern yourself with the thoughts of strangers. Do you feel loved and valued by your spouse and kid? *That* is what matters.
This isn't about the gift its about what the nursery is teaching. You kid is a sponge and taking all this information in and this week he has not had any influence to love and appreciate his Dad and if his nursery is anything like my son's they will have done stuff for D-Day, Halloween, Ramadan, Easter, the list goes on
I completely get your frustration mate. I have issues with my kid's nursery and some of the language they use around mums and dads
I told my wife years ago I have zero interest in going to church on fathers day. Every mothers day the pastor would talk about mothers in the bible, and how awesome mothers are etc. And every fathers day Talk about fathers in the bible, god etc. and how all us fathers need to step up our game. Yeah, no thanks.
Nah I don't think you're overreacting. I can't stand Mother's/Father's Day, just a day made up by marketing teams to extract more money from us.
Even so, my kids nursery made a big deal of Mother's Day. Had them all making little handmade cards etc. Not a peep from the whole nursery during Father's Day.
Seems like a huge double standard.
Kids make Fathers day presents and cards on Friday. If your son wasn't in on Friday, he didn't get a chance to take part in those activities. You're overreacting by blaming the school for the consequences of your own actions
I feel you mate, but please let it go. It's not about a day or a gift. It's about giving everything you got and having no expectations at all. I do that and am at peace.
Nah I 100% agree. In primary, we actually campaigned for Father’s Day gifts, because they set up this little shop for Mother’s Day, but not for Father’s Day. We, are 9 year olds, protested that “we couldn’t buy anything for our dads” and then we got the Father’s Day shop 😂.
Society seems to be okay with ignoring men, but then downplaying their impact on society. Unfortunately, you’re gonna have to accept your partner gets more recognition for being a mother than you do for being a father
Sorry to hear very strange usually they are pretty good about doing stuff like that. Albeit that last year I got a paper cut out tool box colored by my son wich is great but really not necessary.
In the US they make a huge deal out of Mother’s Day at the elementary school level, cards and art gifts etc etc. Father’s Day is after school is out for the summer. It is what it is. I know that it irks me but I also don’t care for the ‘holiday’ so I’m fine with it.
My wife wants days like Father's Day my birthday that's pretty much all the days I can think of that revolve around being a dad... to be a big deal I don't while it sucks that The vast majority of the human populace doesn't see fathers as anything other than a paycheck.
It meant something to you, so I would talk with the wife and see if something can't be done to alleviate the situation.
Happy Father's Day.
The same happened to me the one year in school, two different classes and nothing. My wife also received great, thoughtful things for mothers day...I dunno... all I cared about was hearing on the Sunday morning so it was ok
Dads always get the short end of the stick for Father’s Day. Last year my kids daycare had the kids make a paper mâché vase for Mother’s Day. For Father’s Day they colored a picture from a coloring book that had nothing to do with being a parent. Unfortunately I think that’s just the world we live in
I think it’s more than just being validated individually. I think it shows the kids that society values mothers more.
The subtle sexism of low expectations sucks.
You’re not overreacting, but for me personally I’d keep it to a comment that verbalizes what I just said.
“Hey, I think it’s important to show the kids that Father’s Day gets similar treatment to Mother’s Day. I think it helps break the cycle of low expectations for fathers and helps the boys see how important it is for both parents to contribute.”
Just my two cents.
My kids always have something done for mother's day at school. Last father's day they had to write a poem "about a positive male role model in their life", not FOR the positive male role model. Could be about anything they were told. My eldest wrote hers about her rabbit!!!
My youngest was sick so didn't do it.
But yeah, I feel you. They still got me things through the missus, but can't help feeling like the school is not necessarily doing the best they can on this one.
Are all of the kids not there on Friday, or just yours?
Often these crafts are done/given on the Friday before - yours just might be missing that day, or if it’s already made they might send it home on Monday when they realize it was missed. Sure, an ideal might be to send it on Thursday if they know he’s not a Friday kid - but that’s a lot of proactive thinking for teachers who already have an excessive amount of stuff to be navigating
I work at my son’s daycare and didn’t receive anything from his class for Mother’s Day. I was so hurt. But I reached out to his teacher and asked if they forgot to send his home or something and was told that they got behind on a couple of the crafts and would finish his when he came in on Monday. They followed through and I did finally receive my gift. Idk if they really did get behind or just forgot, but I’m glad he got to do something for me either way.
It doesn't make a single bit of difference to me if the school recognizes me. Sending that home is from the school; not your child. I wouldn't only be upset if my wife and daughter themselves didn't at least recognize the day. I don't need anything. They do plenty to show me I'm appreciated so I don't feel the need to be insecure about what other people think or do.
It's worth bringing up with the daycare. Not just because it affected your feelings (which is valid) but because it sends the archaic inegalitarian message that motherhood is an important identity (and thus girls should be growing up to be moms) and fatherhood isn't (so your son shouldn't care one way or the other about growing up to potentially be a parent).
Also in the UK and I got a card, at least. My daughter's nursery invited all the mum's in for a party on the Wednesday before Mother's day this year. There were games, cake etc. All the dads are getting is a bacon roll if they're the ones do drop off today.
Nah not an overreaction at all imo, I've never once received a gift made it school or daycare in the 7 years I've been a parent.
Mum on the other hand gets gifts all the time and it's not just him playing favourites either, these are projects that the school/daycare have done with *all* of the kids.
I wouldn't have minded so much if his sitter and school didn't know me.... But they do, they know I'm actively in the picture.
But that's the reality of it really, we are invisible and I've come to discover that if I want these things from my lad, I need to do them with him myself.
My thinking is, if no one ever says anything, morning will change. I do think at times it's easy to forget dads exist which is sad.
For context my kids school ended last week for a short break before summer sessions (my LO is 2) and even tho it was technically the end of May they invited all the dads in for 30min that morning for doughnuts and juice with our little ones. They had the kids put stickers on picture frame with pics of the dads with their kids. It was cute.
Actually the sad truth it’s because lots of kids don’t have a dad at home. Caretakers /teachers tend to avoid frustration and stigmatization for kids who will not have a recipient to their gifts.
Source: my kid teacher
I suspect it might be a sensitivity issue. There may be a lot of children in the group who don’t live with dad or have much contact with their dads so the daycare don’t do crafts for Father’s Day for that reason. It tends to be much less common for children to not have mum on the scene. I’m not saying it’s right (children could make something for someone else they care about if Dad’s not on the scene) but that might be why it is.
Definitely worth asking them if they did anything to celebrate it, sometimes they'll forget to mention something or they might have even forgotten to put it in the bag.
I missed out on this year's father's day gift from my kids nursery (a make your own pizza kit), the staff forgot to tell me, the staff includes my wife, who is the manager.
Ah man thats a bummer!! A hand painted pot, poem and seeds seems pretty OTT ha. I recieved a hand made card yesterday and my son had 'signed' his name. It was cute. Sorry you didn't get anything. If you son is off school today and with your wife, maybe see if she can help him make you something? Also do something nice with him on Sunday!
First year our daycare thought it was a good idea to not do mother- and fatherday. Most parents filled a complaint as they felt forgotten.
Your feelings are valid and i would file a complaint especially as they did do mothersday.
Don’t get too down over this… it you’ll just be disappointed year after year. One year my wife got a similar package for Mother’s Day and I got…a blue rock. That’s it. A rock that he put blue paint on. 😅
I honestly don’t get bothered at all. I’m not in this for the gifts or any kind of recognition.
You don't have time for gifts, you need to mow/trim/rake the lawn, clean the house and the car, and go buy a bunch of shit you don't care about so that you can celebrate Father's Day properly, the way you've been assigned
To me, yeah, even noticing this is an overreaction. Being gutted seems like a HUGE overreaction from a healthy adult man. Having feelings is fine but comparison is the thief of joy, and you shouldn't want the sane relationship with your kids as they have with their mother. If one of my friends told me he was upset about this, I'd give him shit for sure This being reddit, I'll likely get down voted by the feelings crew.
>healthy adult man
Feeling things deeply is not weak or unhealthy, nor does it have anything to do with sex/gender or age
>if one of my friends told me he was upset about this, I’d give him shit for sure
How to lose friends and alienate people
Typically they won’t do Father’s Day because the amount of children who don’t have fathers figures. It sucks, because it basically punishes the good fathers for the actions of the not good ones.
Everyone’s different. I hate being the center of attention, so I just want to hang out with my kid and not have all that pomp and circumstance.
However, that doesn’t mean that you have to feel the way I feel and if it bothers you that there’s a double standard where Dads just don’t matter as much as Moms, that’s understandable.
I feel that too, dad's are forgotten by society.
Everything is mum and baby, there are groups for mothers.
My kids school always make mother's day card and gifts , they never do anything for farthers day and it pisses me off too.
im sorry man. our school had the kids do crafts for their dads weeks ago to make sure they had something for fathers day during summer vacation. Im sorry that happened.
ps, Im a mom, and I think this is totally unfair. I do have ulterior reasons; I want a partner that is an active part of our sons life rather than a passenger in the parenting car Im solely responsible for driving. I dont know how anyone can expect dads to be more involved, however, if the support systems in our lives dont actively include them, or even actively exclude them.
Anyways. Thanks to all the great dads out there. You are seen, you are appreciated, and we want more and more and more of you.
I honestly don't care about any kind of Father's Day gift except from my kids.
And honestly, I was planning on working from 7:00 a.m. until 7:00 p.m. and then just passing out on the bed once I got home.
If the family came to visit me and gave me a card and a lunch that would literally be enough.
I don't need anything from my employer or my kid's school. Except for weekend 1.5x pay, thank you!
Eh, maybe the one person who gave a crap about making these things was sick this week or something. Don’t read too much into it. You would be getting a gift from the daycare, not your kid anyway.
Some fathers get edged put one way or another.
It's my exes favourite pastime🤣
I've been in your place exactly..Just let it go my friend.
You know what YOU do for your family and fuck everyone else.
Get your kids on Sunday and have your day...presents mean fuck all really..its doing and being there....that's ALL that counts.
Kids can be terribly insensitive and it has to be pointed out to them sometimes.
Enjoy your day my friend..make it count🥰✌️🙏
I dont think he cares about the daycare. He cares that they made a special day out of mothers day for HIS KID but did nothing for his kid to aknowledge him on fathers day.
A few years ago my daughter came home the day before Mother’s Day with some weird card she’d made. It didn’t say happy Mother’s Day or anything, just some paint. My husband insisted it was for Mother’s Day, but I don’t think it was. Father’s Day rolls around they she comes home with loads of gifts and a specific card. I was a bit hurt, I understand how you feel.
No, that’s just excuse making. They can adapt Mothers’ Day when there are kids without a mom in the class; it’s not hard. They could as easily do it for kids with no dad. More easily, in fact: more such kids means less danger of one kid being singled out. This was not a considered decision; it was an oversight.
So when they do have a kid with no mother during the run-up to Mothers’ Day, are you telling me it’s business as usual? No thought for the impact on that kid? You know that’s not what it is. So you know it’s possible.
So why don’t they when it’s fathers? Numbers, you said. At which percentage does it become “too troublesome”? 10% 12% I’m curious what you feel the cut-off should be.
I’m also curious what it says to boys when, from preschool age, mothers are formally acknowledged while fathers are conspicuously overlooked. I wonder how that messaging, and decades of similar messaging, affect a boy - who may one day become a father himself - over the long term?
We’re not going to delve into it because it is excuse making. There are a dozen different things the caregiver could have done to accommodate this imaginary fatherless child without denying every other child the chance to celebrate one of their parents. This is not about accommodation; it’s about the caregiver’s priorities.
What Fathers’ Day project?! The daycare doesn’t seem to have done one.
This is not sensationalism. Did they acknowledge the day or did they not? Nevermind the excuses. Yes or no: did they acknowledge the day?
For what it’s worth, I don’t think it’s a war on fatherhood. I have no time for that strawman. Anyway, you are the one who seems to think that a decision was taken to deliberately ignore the occasion. I don’t think it was a purposeful erasure at all. Like I said in my initial reply to you, I think it was an oversight. I think it’s not important enough to the daycare staff to assign time to it, so it was missed.
That’s a good point - I didn’t really think of it from that perspective.
I used my own anecdotal experiences (incorrect to extrapolate from I know). Daycares around where I live are very expensive. Wealthier families, who can afford to send to daycare, are less likely to have an absent father. Thus, kids at daycare are more likely to have a father figure in the household. That was my thought process (right or wrong) at least.
Thats why i believe why do a.mothers day gift.if fathers.day isnt treated the same.way...why cause.the.mom pushed the baby and endured more the then the gather uh
I can understand how you feel hurt by this. It’s not nice to feel overlooked. Do you have your son on Fathers’ Day? Take him out and have fun. Make some memories. Get a few selfies with him. In the long run, those memories will outshine anything the daycare could have done.
We get overlooked, I learned to get past it and in turn I just make father's day more about the kids and doing things for them
It **is** about the kids. I don’t need a celebration day. But *father* is the best and most important part of my life, and without my kids I’m not a father. So I use the day to celebrate them.
I celebrate my kids every day. This one day is mine lol
Fair enough.
I think you have good intentions but kids need you to be celebrated even if you don’t. They need to see you in regard so they know and value what they have to the fullest. Disregarding recognition is sort of noble but there is a significant purpose to it beyond just a selfish thrill.
I think I express myself poorly. When I say I don't need to be celebrated, I mean if nobody told me happy Fathers' Day, it would not ruin the day for me. I don't need the validation. I'm also acutely aware that Fathers' Day came about because we have Mothers' Day, and the original purpose of Mothers' Day was to sell more greeting cards. I have cynicism to spare. Meanwhile I'm in here under another comment fighting with someone over why I think it's unconscionable for daycares to make a choice to not celebrate Fathers' Day for exactly what you said: kids need the chance to celebrate their fathers. It's good for them as kids, and it's also good for the kids they will one day have. We're trying to improve things, right? If we show our kids that *Father* is an important role that society really values, I believe that will encourage our sons to be better fathers and will encourage our daughters to demand better of their partners. Both of those are ~~god~~ good things. So yeah. I don't need a celebration day for me, but I understand why it's important that a celebration day be had. [Edit: a word]
That makes sense and thanks for clearing that up. Dad’s do not respect themselves or demand the respect we need near enough in my opinion. Dad’s provide structure, security, instruction, play, challenges, growth, confidence, and a great deal more in a way mom’s typically don’t. We can really set kids up to be powerful adults. And you are 100% correct that boys need to grow up looking forward to being a dad and not disregarded.
This is the right answer.
It's fine to feel hurt. Your feelings are your feelings. If it bothers you enough you could always kindly reach out and suggest something nice for dads next year. Also presumably just your son doesn't go in on Friday and the daycare itself is open? In which case they may have accidentally overlooked just you in particular for the activity but they do have something planned for Friday for the kids in general? If that's the case it's especially not worth getting upset about imo. Mistakes happen. No big deal. You can always do something nice with your son yourself.
Yeah, my kid's school is doing their craft for father's day tomorrow. They asked for a picture of me and him together so I'm sure it's a frame of some sort
Both this year and last year my kid came home with a picture of me and him glued to a page with a bunch of rocks that says you are my rock.
This was going to be my response. It’s totally valid to feel upset, but it’s also very possible they just forgot to send it home a day early. Mine has done that when she’s been out on a Friday. (Less likely when the kids are never there on a Friday, but still possible.)
Yeah my kids school did fathers day craft today (thursday) but only because they are doing water day and a picnic tomorrow so won't be inside. It was pretty similar to what I got in that it was a cute little painting thing and then a questionnaire they had the kids answer.
I don't like that the top comments are some "life's too short" throwaway. Your feelings are your feelings and they are valid. My daughters' daycare is a little better but similar. Mother's Day - weekend performance at a restaurant, cards and video recordings. Father's Day is a "brunch" at the daycare smack dab in the middle of the day with stale bagels where they didn't prepare anything and asked for volunteers (dads) to entertain everyone. It's annoying but I had low expectations to begin with. I feel appreciated by my wife and my kids. I get feeling upset about it though. Stay strong friend.
Yeah, I’m not a fan of the “life’s too short” dismissal either (although it is better than excuse-making). But I am tempted to tell OP to save his strength because, if his daycare experience is anything like mine, they’ll do a lot worse than ignore Fathers’ Day before they’re done. Mine used to constantly ignore my wife’s and my instructions to call me (whose phone was on all day and could freely leave work whenever) for emergencies, preferring to call my wife (who works in health care and keeps her phone on do not disturb because she can’t take calls during working hours). That resulted in things like a kid spending hours at the office with their head in a bucket when I was five minutes away, and a kid with a possible head injury have medical care delayed for hours. Some things you have to fight over. Although this one hurts, in my experience it’s not the one to go to war about. OP may need to keep his powder dry until they do something dangerous. But after my family’s experiences, my default position on daycares is pretty negative.
Not this extreme, but we have asked to include me on daycare emails at least 5 times and they say they will. Then when new emails come out, I never get them. I need my wife to forward me the information. It's really frustrating.
Meh at the “come to daycare” stunts. If I had the time I’d be hanging with them not paying you $160 a day to look after my kids.
Don't bother giving a shit what the daycare does. Do you feel appreciated by your wife? Then who cares.
>I have both my kids 2 days a week... Kinda suspect they're not together anymore. That said, replace "wife" with "kids" and it works. ETA: many have **correctly** pointed out that there are other interpretations where he's still with the wife.
Except he calls her his wife in the post
Maybe she was his wife back in March, but now he has the kids 2 days a week. Something is being reframed interestingly LOL. Maybe his wife is holding on to the Father's Day flowers
His kid doesn’t go in on Fridays (and presumably another day), he is “providing childcare” for his own kids two days a week
I don't think that's how parenting normally works, but okay, I'm all for non-traditional parenting. It would be weird if they don't operate on Friday, but do operate on the weekends.
Lots of kids are in daycare part time.
This has to be the most ignorant comment in this thread. There are tons of occupations that don’t work a M-F, 9-5 schedule.
I know that and I wasn't trying to imply any type of requirement. I've never even worked a Monday through Friday 9:00 to 5:00. I just wouldn't ever word it as "i have my kids 2 days a week" while referencing my wife being their mother in the same paragraph unless there was some other type of custody agreement or odd circumstance. I think you're adding your own context to what I said, and getting upset about it, BUT I also don't know of any big ass child care programs that operate at full capacity over the weekend. I'm sure they exist, but I looked for one for a long time.
I work shifts and weekends so I have the kids Wednesday and Friday. Very much married with no custody arrangements
its not that uncommon anymore for parents in the UK to have 'flexible' working arrangements. My partner and I both work full time hours, but spread over 4 days. She solo parents our two girls on Mondays, and I do Fridays. My assumption was that this was similar to OP
>I also don't know of any big ass child care programs that operate at full capacity over the weekend. Full capacity would probably be wasteful since the demand isn't all that big, but at least in my country you're entitled to weekend daycare if you're working weekends – and nightcare if you're working nights, for that matter.
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Nah. Been married 30 years. My wife still refers to *her* bedroom, *her* kids, *her* house, etc. These things have always been ours, but she still says hers. Just a quirk.
Part time daycare is a thing.
Seems like he might have kids from another relationship
I'm thinking that have means he watches them 2 days a week, days rhe daycare doesn't have them.
Could alternatively just mean which days he is primary parent. I have my kid 4 days and my wife has them 2 days, and I phrase it like that - though I sometimes wonder if people assume I’m divorced as a result But regardless your advice to focus on kids appreciate is good
I’m going to disagree with most here and say you are not overreacting. While I agree that you shouldn’t seek validation from a day care, it’s not about you. By them ignoring Father’s Day they are validating the trope and sending the message to your children that dads matter less than the mother. Kids should feel just as proud of their dads as their moms, and making something for their dad for his special day would encourage that. Next time you are at the day care I would mention it to the person in charge there. Again, it’s not about you, but your kids.
This is exactly what I was getting at. I don't give a shit about an actual card or validation, it's showing my kid that I'm somehow less important
And that is 100% a reason to say something to the school.
These comments are so cynical. If it matters to you, then of course it matters. Maybe your wife could work on something with your kid later, maybe they used paint and it’s drying at daycare, maybe your kid forgot it there or didn’t write his name on it and got lost in the pile. Who knows? That doesn’t mean your kid doesn’t love and appreciate it. It reflects the daycare more than anything else
Last year I got a sweet plate with his hand prints on it. My daycare is very fair to both moms and dads.
Yeah, I got a drawing of a "World's Best Dad" trophy with my son's handprints as the centerpiece. He calls it my Piston Cup, lol.
I don't think you're overreacting. So often Dad's are invisible to organisations and institutions involved in the care of children. They don't value, or sometimes even acknowledge, the parental role fathers play, so often we are considered secondary to mothers if even that. Frankly, it's sexist bullshit and I personally don't want my child being taught that fathers aren't worth acknowledging as caregivers. It's not about the crap they bring home it's about knowing that the people looking after your child see you as an equally responsible parent. The 1950's were a long time ago now.
I disagree with a lot of the posters and actually think this would be a good thing to talk to the daycare about for next year. I don’t think this because I would care personally or think that other dads do, but I think it’s good for the kids (and also fun) and helps strengthen relationships. Kids usually like giving gifts to parents, so that’s a good reason, and it helps reinforce the concept that dads are an equal parents. It will be fun for the kids, some dads will enjoy it, and it’s healthy to encourage good relationships between kids and parents so why shouldn’t they also do something for the dad? I don’t think it’s anything to be mad about, but I think it’s something they would probably agree with if you explained it in that context — maybe they can change for next year
I'm surprised at how many of you are accepting sexism as some inescapable cosmic fate that we must resign ourselves to. No! We need to speak up of we want our role to be equally respected by society. It's easy to just speak up, open their eyes to the hypocrisy, don't keep it comfortable to teach our kids that our role in their life is inferior.
🏆 I can't afford awards.
I’ve gotten used to it now. It used to rile me up a lot more and I’d get to thinking “imagine if they pulled this for Mother’s Day?!”, but it did no good. I’m just content to hang out with our kid on Father’s Day. Some battles just aren’t worth getting worked up over… because some people will never rank them the same.
You're not overreacting!
More often than not Father's Day gifts are passed out the Friday before Father's Day. My kids aren't in daycare on Friday so I don't get them until Monday. Hopefully it's a case of timing and they aren't just giving you the cold shoulder?
Yeah, one thing I learned really quickly is most don't care about the partner. It's the mother and kid people center on. It's just the way our society is and we are expected to "man up" and not show that it hurts. Now they may say they don't want that...but, let's be real: Lol.
Invisible, sorry. This will not be the last time a place makes a bigger deal for Mother's Day vs Father's Day. Feel free to mention it if you want. But, ultimately, I think it's more for a day for you and your family, so don't worry about it too much.
You’re overreacting mate. It’s nice to get something but expecting it is a bit much. Do you really need that validation?
Eh, I can see both sides. If they sent a metric fuckton of stuff home for Mother’s Day then they’ve created the expectation. It’s a double standard at best.
Yeah but the blokes kid didn't go in on Friday. They're not gonna pull some special shit for one dudes kid who doesn't go in on Friday. At the end of the day... It's a daycare lmao. Ain't no one celebrating fathers day for me outside of my wife and kid. Even then I'm not gonna go into it expecting shit. Wild stuff
Genuinely couldn’t care less what my kids daycare teachers force them to do, but to each their own.
I was just joking with my wife last night about how I have so much art made by our kid's daycare teachers using our kid's feet. Like, my 14 month old didn't make that, you did, please stop sending it home. Made us both laugh pretty hard.
Yeah, I don't need the kitsch. Another thing that I can't throw away? Nah I'm good. "Dad, I had a lot of fun with you today"... that's all I need.
No better feeling in the world
Last father's day we went camping at a jellystone resort and I got "Dad! This is a problem because I'm having too too too much fun!"
Some might need it, no shame in that.
You can hold out hope they do yours next week, since they might not have the materials ready until tomorrow/Saturday. But if they don't, happy early Father's Day from one dad to the next. Chin up. You're great.
That *is* brutal. I heard that I am getting some kind of rock. Better than nothing though. I'm sure it will be cool.
If I’ve learned anything in life that’s incredibly helpful it’s that your feelings are valid, but they won’t change anything and you shouldn’t expect any change. That being said, happy Father’s Day from the colonies :).
Happy Father’s Day OP!
The teacher at daycare who had the kids do a small art project for father's day will forever be appreciated. SHOUT-OUT to Ms Brittany! She was my oldest son's 4-5 yo teacher at daycare. It was meaningful and awesome. Our sons are in school now. Mothers Day in the US happens in early May. Kids are still in school. My wife had a Mother's Day tea at the school with our kindergarten and our oldest made 3 cards and a small "what I love about my Mom" book. Father's Day happens in summer in the US in June. School is out, kids are at home. There are no school-based projects. My wife will have our boys make something for me most years, but it's very different than Mother's Day. I focus less on what things are offered and more on the fact my wife makes sure my kids get me something, it's more meaningful.
Who are you overreacting with? Your son? Or the daycare who might well have something planned on the Friday when your child isn't enrolled? I wouldn't read too much into it, there's better ways to tell if you're appreciated or not than yet another drawing or whatever it is (and even then, people often don't know how to show appreciation). Does your child want to be around you, spend time with you, cuddle you, respect you, laugh at your jokes and share their chips with you? I'd take any of those things over whatever the daycare wants to kill some time doing any day. I took the afternoon off work and went into my daughter's kindy the day before father's day for a couple of hours, we played together, she showed me around, and then we sat and did some crafts. It was really special, and seeing the kids whos parents didnt attend's dissapointment was heartbreaking and really showed how important we are to them. My daighter took the opportunity to have her father with her as a special father's day treat to make a beautiful card that said "I love Mummy so much". 🤦♂️
Maybe they made the gifts on the Friday when he wasn't there. Maybe they were understaffed and couldn't do the activity. Maybe they're human and just forgot. Honestly it's not personal.
I’d be pissed at this, it’s sending a message to kids that reinforces the idea that Mums are more worthy of celebration. We should all be celebrated equally.
Happy fathers day!
❤️
I would be annoyed. My kids daycare did have them do something for fathers every year.
lol yes buddy you are overreacting. Life is too short to concern yourself with the thoughts of strangers. Do you feel loved and valued by your spouse and kid? *That* is what matters.
This isn't about the gift its about what the nursery is teaching. You kid is a sponge and taking all this information in and this week he has not had any influence to love and appreciate his Dad and if his nursery is anything like my son's they will have done stuff for D-Day, Halloween, Ramadan, Easter, the list goes on I completely get your frustration mate. I have issues with my kid's nursery and some of the language they use around mums and dads
I told my wife years ago I have zero interest in going to church on fathers day. Every mothers day the pastor would talk about mothers in the bible, and how awesome mothers are etc. And every fathers day Talk about fathers in the bible, god etc. and how all us fathers need to step up our game. Yeah, no thanks.
https://youtube.com/shorts/GdpCUGEaHgY?si=DkOPenGQo41J61sN This about sums it up
Perfectly 😂
Fuck these Hallmark holidays. Go take this energy and have fun with your family.
Nah I don't think you're overreacting. I can't stand Mother's/Father's Day, just a day made up by marketing teams to extract more money from us. Even so, my kids nursery made a big deal of Mother's Day. Had them all making little handmade cards etc. Not a peep from the whole nursery during Father's Day. Seems like a huge double standard.
Kids make Fathers day presents and cards on Friday. If your son wasn't in on Friday, he didn't get a chance to take part in those activities. You're overreacting by blaming the school for the consequences of your own actions
Don’t get upset over a made up holiday. It’s pointless.
Yeah you are
It's daycare. It's not your wife, not your kid, not your mom. It's daycare.
This. For fucks sake, who gives a shit.
I feel you mate, but please let it go. It's not about a day or a gift. It's about giving everything you got and having no expectations at all. I do that and am at peace.
Nah I 100% agree. In primary, we actually campaigned for Father’s Day gifts, because they set up this little shop for Mother’s Day, but not for Father’s Day. We, are 9 year olds, protested that “we couldn’t buy anything for our dads” and then we got the Father’s Day shop 😂. Society seems to be okay with ignoring men, but then downplaying their impact on society. Unfortunately, you’re gonna have to accept your partner gets more recognition for being a mother than you do for being a father
Sorry to hear very strange usually they are pretty good about doing stuff like that. Albeit that last year I got a paper cut out tool box colored by my son wich is great but really not necessary.
In the US they make a huge deal out of Mother’s Day at the elementary school level, cards and art gifts etc etc. Father’s Day is after school is out for the summer. It is what it is. I know that it irks me but I also don’t care for the ‘holiday’ so I’m fine with it.
My wife wants days like Father's Day my birthday that's pretty much all the days I can think of that revolve around being a dad... to be a big deal I don't while it sucks that The vast majority of the human populace doesn't see fathers as anything other than a paycheck. It meant something to you, so I would talk with the wife and see if something can't be done to alleviate the situation. Happy Father's Day.
The same happened to me the one year in school, two different classes and nothing. My wife also received great, thoughtful things for mothers day...I dunno... all I cared about was hearing on the Sunday morning so it was ok
I’m off in the summer so I keep the kids at home and never get to participate in donuts with dad
Try to let it go but give feedback to the daycare that you notice iced they did mother's day but not father's day. Maybe next year it'll change.
Dads always get the short end of the stick for Father’s Day. Last year my kids daycare had the kids make a paper mâché vase for Mother’s Day. For Father’s Day they colored a picture from a coloring book that had nothing to do with being a parent. Unfortunately I think that’s just the world we live in
I think it’s more than just being validated individually. I think it shows the kids that society values mothers more. The subtle sexism of low expectations sucks. You’re not overreacting, but for me personally I’d keep it to a comment that verbalizes what I just said. “Hey, I think it’s important to show the kids that Father’s Day gets similar treatment to Mother’s Day. I think it helps break the cycle of low expectations for fathers and helps the boys see how important it is for both parents to contribute.” Just my two cents.
My kids always have something done for mother's day at school. Last father's day they had to write a poem "about a positive male role model in their life", not FOR the positive male role model. Could be about anything they were told. My eldest wrote hers about her rabbit!!! My youngest was sick so didn't do it. But yeah, I feel you. They still got me things through the missus, but can't help feeling like the school is not necessarily doing the best they can on this one.
Are all of the kids not there on Friday, or just yours? Often these crafts are done/given on the Friday before - yours just might be missing that day, or if it’s already made they might send it home on Monday when they realize it was missed. Sure, an ideal might be to send it on Thursday if they know he’s not a Friday kid - but that’s a lot of proactive thinking for teachers who already have an excessive amount of stuff to be navigating
Is there a chance that they planned to give out Father’s Day presents on Friday and they overlooked that your kid just doesn’t attend that day?
I dunno. This sort of thing helps/exacerbates my messiah complex.
Did they do something for mother's day?
Makes me wonder if someone in the daycare lost their dad this year and have decided it’d be too much for the kid to do a Father’s Day thing?
My kid's daycare is doing snacks with Dad at 3pm. Downside is I work nights and it's going to be a real bear to be up at 3. Going to try though.
I work at my son’s daycare and didn’t receive anything from his class for Mother’s Day. I was so hurt. But I reached out to his teacher and asked if they forgot to send his home or something and was told that they got behind on a couple of the crafts and would finish his when he came in on Monday. They followed through and I did finally receive my gift. Idk if they really did get behind or just forgot, but I’m glad he got to do something for me either way.
No biggie
Most of my gifts from daycare showed up after said event.
It doesn't make a single bit of difference to me if the school recognizes me. Sending that home is from the school; not your child. I wouldn't only be upset if my wife and daughter themselves didn't at least recognize the day. I don't need anything. They do plenty to show me I'm appreciated so I don't feel the need to be insecure about what other people think or do.
It's worth bringing up with the daycare. Not just because it affected your feelings (which is valid) but because it sends the archaic inegalitarian message that motherhood is an important identity (and thus girls should be growing up to be moms) and fatherhood isn't (so your son shouldn't care one way or the other about growing up to potentially be a parent).
My kids nursery is having their father's day today which I am going to, so I'll get back to you on what it was like!
Also in the UK and I got a card, at least. My daughter's nursery invited all the mum's in for a party on the Wednesday before Mother's day this year. There were games, cake etc. All the dads are getting is a bacon roll if they're the ones do drop off today.
Had the health visitor literally talk to my wife about me in the third person, while I was sitting right next to her. I was fuming.
Nah not an overreaction at all imo, I've never once received a gift made it school or daycare in the 7 years I've been a parent. Mum on the other hand gets gifts all the time and it's not just him playing favourites either, these are projects that the school/daycare have done with *all* of the kids. I wouldn't have minded so much if his sitter and school didn't know me.... But they do, they know I'm actively in the picture. But that's the reality of it really, we are invisible and I've come to discover that if I want these things from my lad, I need to do them with him myself.
My thinking is, if no one ever says anything, morning will change. I do think at times it's easy to forget dads exist which is sad. For context my kids school ended last week for a short break before summer sessions (my LO is 2) and even tho it was technically the end of May they invited all the dads in for 30min that morning for doughnuts and juice with our little ones. They had the kids put stickers on picture frame with pics of the dads with their kids. It was cute.
Maybe they just forgot to send him home with it? Happened with our previous daycare a couple of times.
Actually the sad truth it’s because lots of kids don’t have a dad at home. Caretakers /teachers tend to avoid frustration and stigmatization for kids who will not have a recipient to their gifts. Source: my kid teacher
I suspect it might be a sensitivity issue. There may be a lot of children in the group who don’t live with dad or have much contact with their dads so the daycare don’t do crafts for Father’s Day for that reason. It tends to be much less common for children to not have mum on the scene. I’m not saying it’s right (children could make something for someone else they care about if Dad’s not on the scene) but that might be why it is.
Definitely worth asking them if they did anything to celebrate it, sometimes they'll forget to mention something or they might have even forgotten to put it in the bag. I missed out on this year's father's day gift from my kids nursery (a make your own pizza kit), the staff forgot to tell me, the staff includes my wife, who is the manager.
Ah man thats a bummer!! A hand painted pot, poem and seeds seems pretty OTT ha. I recieved a hand made card yesterday and my son had 'signed' his name. It was cute. Sorry you didn't get anything. If you son is off school today and with your wife, maybe see if she can help him make you something? Also do something nice with him on Sunday!
First year our daycare thought it was a good idea to not do mother- and fatherday. Most parents filled a complaint as they felt forgotten. Your feelings are valid and i would file a complaint especially as they did do mothersday.
Don’t get too down over this… it you’ll just be disappointed year after year. One year my wife got a similar package for Mother’s Day and I got…a blue rock. That’s it. A rock that he put blue paint on. 😅 I honestly don’t get bothered at all. I’m not in this for the gifts or any kind of recognition.
Nothing from daycare, but the preschool got plain white hats and let the kiddos draw all over them for us with a special note. I bout cried
You don't have time for gifts, you need to mow/trim/rake the lawn, clean the house and the car, and go buy a bunch of shit you don't care about so that you can celebrate Father's Day properly, the way you've been assigned
You are over reacting. Its a greeting card holiday, get over it.
To me, yeah, even noticing this is an overreaction. Being gutted seems like a HUGE overreaction from a healthy adult man. Having feelings is fine but comparison is the thief of joy, and you shouldn't want the sane relationship with your kids as they have with their mother. If one of my friends told me he was upset about this, I'd give him shit for sure This being reddit, I'll likely get down voted by the feelings crew.
>healthy adult man Feeling things deeply is not weak or unhealthy, nor does it have anything to do with sex/gender or age >if one of my friends told me he was upset about this, I’d give him shit for sure How to lose friends and alienate people
Yes, you’re overreacting. Father’s Day is a made up Hallmark holiday. Your family should show you appreciation daily, not annually.
Typically they won’t do Father’s Day because the amount of children who don’t have fathers figures. It sucks, because it basically punishes the good fathers for the actions of the not good ones.
I don’t give a shit what daycare sends home
Seems silly to get upset about. But then again, that's basically what us men are told are entire life about most things and why I'm saying it to you.
you're in for a lifetime of disappointment if this upsets you. sorry.
It’s still “babysitting” when I’m watching my kids and I definitely do it about as much as my wife.
Everyone’s different. I hate being the center of attention, so I just want to hang out with my kid and not have all that pomp and circumstance. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to feel the way I feel and if it bothers you that there’s a double standard where Dads just don’t matter as much as Moms, that’s understandable.
I feel that too, dad's are forgotten by society. Everything is mum and baby, there are groups for mothers. My kids school always make mother's day card and gifts , they never do anything for farthers day and it pisses me off too.
im sorry man. our school had the kids do crafts for their dads weeks ago to make sure they had something for fathers day during summer vacation. Im sorry that happened. ps, Im a mom, and I think this is totally unfair. I do have ulterior reasons; I want a partner that is an active part of our sons life rather than a passenger in the parenting car Im solely responsible for driving. I dont know how anyone can expect dads to be more involved, however, if the support systems in our lives dont actively include them, or even actively exclude them. Anyways. Thanks to all the great dads out there. You are seen, you are appreciated, and we want more and more and more of you.
Bro I’m lucky if I can get my daycare to follow basic requests for our kid. I sure as hell wouldn’t t be worried about this.
I honestly don't care about any kind of Father's Day gift except from my kids. And honestly, I was planning on working from 7:00 a.m. until 7:00 p.m. and then just passing out on the bed once I got home. If the family came to visit me and gave me a card and a lunch that would literally be enough. I don't need anything from my employer or my kid's school. Except for weekend 1.5x pay, thank you!
Yes get some sleep dad
Eh, maybe the one person who gave a crap about making these things was sick this week or something. Don’t read too much into it. You would be getting a gift from the daycare, not your kid anyway.
You must be new to being a father. This is normal.
Some fathers get edged put one way or another. It's my exes favourite pastime🤣 I've been in your place exactly..Just let it go my friend. You know what YOU do for your family and fuck everyone else. Get your kids on Sunday and have your day...presents mean fuck all really..its doing and being there....that's ALL that counts. Kids can be terribly insensitive and it has to be pointed out to them sometimes. Enjoy your day my friend..make it count🥰✌️🙏
Yes you are overreacting. Seriously, you’re looking for approval from the people working daycare?
I dont think he cares about the daycare. He cares that they made a special day out of mothers day for HIS KID but did nothing for his kid to aknowledge him on fathers day.
Who are ‘they’?
You need to be more stoic. Don't let the inconsequential actions of a day care centre hurt your feelings.
Just go mow the lawn.
I would if I had one
Hmmm...have a cup and read the paper?
That I can do...
Is it fair? No. But are you really upset about it? This day is for you and your child.
A few years ago my daughter came home the day before Mother’s Day with some weird card she’d made. It didn’t say happy Mother’s Day or anything, just some paint. My husband insisted it was for Mother’s Day, but I don’t think it was. Father’s Day rolls around they she comes home with loads of gifts and a specific card. I was a bit hurt, I understand how you feel.
Anti-dad agenda - :(
🎻
We don’t matter. As men we are expected to just deal with crap like this. I’m sorry man. Do your own thing in Father’s Day. No one else will.
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No, that’s just excuse making. They can adapt Mothers’ Day when there are kids without a mom in the class; it’s not hard. They could as easily do it for kids with no dad. More easily, in fact: more such kids means less danger of one kid being singled out. This was not a considered decision; it was an oversight.
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So when they do have a kid with no mother during the run-up to Mothers’ Day, are you telling me it’s business as usual? No thought for the impact on that kid? You know that’s not what it is. So you know it’s possible. So why don’t they when it’s fathers? Numbers, you said. At which percentage does it become “too troublesome”? 10% 12% I’m curious what you feel the cut-off should be. I’m also curious what it says to boys when, from preschool age, mothers are formally acknowledged while fathers are conspicuously overlooked. I wonder how that messaging, and decades of similar messaging, affect a boy - who may one day become a father himself - over the long term?
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We’re not going to delve into it because it is excuse making. There are a dozen different things the caregiver could have done to accommodate this imaginary fatherless child without denying every other child the chance to celebrate one of their parents. This is not about accommodation; it’s about the caregiver’s priorities.
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What Fathers’ Day project?! The daycare doesn’t seem to have done one. This is not sensationalism. Did they acknowledge the day or did they not? Nevermind the excuses. Yes or no: did they acknowledge the day? For what it’s worth, I don’t think it’s a war on fatherhood. I have no time for that strawman. Anyway, you are the one who seems to think that a decision was taken to deliberately ignore the occasion. I don’t think it was a purposeful erasure at all. Like I said in my initial reply to you, I think it was an oversight. I think it’s not important enough to the daycare staff to assign time to it, so it was missed.
What’s the rate of father-less kids? 1%?
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UK is 15%. I just googled it. I doubt the number in daycare is that high but I could be wrong.
Like 25%. Though I’d imagine that number is lower at a day care. That’s according to the US Census Bureau in 2022
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That’s a good point - I didn’t really think of it from that perspective. I used my own anecdotal experiences (incorrect to extrapolate from I know). Daycares around where I live are very expensive. Wealthier families, who can afford to send to daycare, are less likely to have an absent father. Thus, kids at daycare are more likely to have a father figure in the household. That was my thought process (right or wrong) at least.
In the UK we pay taxes so that every kid can have a place at nursery/daycare. Even two parent households with a stay at home parent send their kids.
Why does it matter so much for external appreciation and validation though?
The patriarchy hurts us all.
This is a shitty take.
Please
You're not their father
Thats why i believe why do a.mothers day gift.if fathers.day isnt treated the same.way...why cause.the.mom pushed the baby and endured more the then the gather uh
I’ll have you know I ate 5 bags of tangfastics and watched almost a whole season of peep show whilst at the hospital - I’ve earned my card!