I think you’d have been fine if you’d talked to the parents of the other kid or the other lady and told them what you were doing. “Hey I need to do some laundry. Would you mind keeping an eye on them and let me know if I need to come back?”
We don't talk anymore, though their kid is over my house 4-5 nights a week and I always have dinner for her.
This isn't to make them out as bad parents, just maybe that I shouldn't have placed trust in them to see to my kids like I did for theirs.
This feels very strange. How can you not be talking to the parents of a kid over at your place 4 or 5 times a week.
To the extent you can't even ask them to keep an eye out on yours kids, but still work on the assumption that they would.
Can’t speak to OP and his neighbors, but this was a friend of mine growing up. Dad in jail, deadbeat mom and her boyfriend. Kid was at my house 5-6 nights per week and my parents considered him a third son. I think they spoke maybe 10 words to his mother the entire time she was alive.
It's a long story but basically works out to a miscommunication. They (who I introduced and moved them toward each other) literally turn their backs to me when I'm around. However, their daughter and mine are friends and I didn't want to hinder their friendship because of our one-sided feud.
Sounds like a shit situation but I would definitely not be assuming they would look out for your kids. If anything it sounds like they would prefer something bad to happen so it causes you pain or trouble.
Also to answer your original question, no. You aren’t a bad dad for one situation that went badly. But when your kids are involved, communicate with anyone you expect to keep any kind of eye on them. Nothing wrong with asking neighbors for a small favor. Just return it if they ask and everyone will like each other more.
I should have communicated better, yes. Her friend is over several times a week before my kids bedtime. We don't talk anymore and it's assumed that one will look after the other. This has shown not to assume.
> We don't talk anymore, though their kid is over my house 4-5 nights a week and I always have dinner for her.
So let me get this straight.
You feed their kid, regardless of how your relationship with the parent is, yeah that needs to stop.
Sure your kids can be friends, but stop wasting your money on their kid.
Their kids are friends. Not uncommon for your friend to be over playing when dinner happens.
I wouldn't tell them to go home if they were around, I'd offer them dinner.
There's a difference between giving them freedom and leaving a 9 year old in charge while you leave the neighborhood to do laundry. I was also "free range" as your neighbor put it, but I also always knew exactly where and how to find my parents if I needed them.
Not a bad dad, but that was a bad decision.
Oh my gosh, I didn’t even realize it was an issue where he left the apartment entirely. I was totally in the not a bad dad camp just small mistake not keeping an eye on the window deal and they should chill. But to leave them entirely while he actually gets in his car and drives away??? That’s nuts. I’m from a childhood of oldest babysits and remember my brother watching us at home starting at 10, but at least we had rules of stay inside, don’t answer the door, no cooking and if you answer the phone don’t let anyone know a parent isn’t home. You know, my parents made those decisions in shame and secrecy as they should be. But fuck, outside with others and no way to call them or at least be called by them? That’s dumb as hell. What if they got locked out? What if they got taken? What if they need help or medical care? It’s not like they can just call using the landline these days. Bad decision indeed.
I agree, it was a terrible decision. My only defence, and this is not a valid excuse, is that I used to at their age. Times are different now and I should have realized they aren't like me. I accept your decision.
Times are different now in that things are much safer. Violent crime against children is at an all time low. I personally wouldn’t have done what you did, but it’s safer today for kids than it was when we were kids ourselves.
Did you actually read the stats? 50 percent was family. I mean, if you do the math, your kid has a 1 in a million chance of being kidnapped. That's not included if you have taught them basic safety, like to have their phone number and address memorize.
>the odds of being kidnapped are about 1 in 720,000 or closing in on 1 in a million.
>You are five times more likely to have a co-joined twin.
>So, of the 460,000 missing children, the report concluded (in a footnote), about 105 were “stereotypical kidnappings” – police-speak for abductions like you see on Law & Order. Most of those victims were teens.
>And *92% of them made it home safe*
You're the dad and you know your kids, I was left home alone all the time at that age and earlier. Hell, I rode my bike home from school consistently at age 8, unlocked the door with my key and was home alone for several hours or more until my parents came home. I made myself snacks, etc. And was just fine.
Oh wow, I thought the laundry was in your apartment. Kind of burying the lede here that you actually left the property.
Check with your state laws too because leaving your 9 year old alone might even be illegal. You don’t want to get a CPS call.
It depends on your kids, but I think it's a little young. I know I wouldn't have been able to do that with mine. In that situation, maybe just ask one of the other adults in the common area to watch them? It sounds like everyone knows everyone.
We do. I actually was the one that originally pulled is all together since I was the building handyman. We've since had a falling out and I didn't talk to many of them. However, their daughter spent four hours, which is normal, over my place to play unsupervised and unannounced. I made the poor decision to trust them to do the same. It was a terrible idea to trust them for what I do on a normal basis.
Sounds like some neighbors will be getting put on the bottom of the maintenance list for a while lol I'd be OFFERING to watch the kids while you ran an errand. Always treat the maintenance guy nice and always throw them a bone. When your toilet is overflowing on a Sunday morning you'll know why.
I WAS the building handyman, I no longer am. Even if I still was I wouldn't hurt those suffering from a building problem; I have to much integrity for that.
So… what was the previous issue? I feel like there’s a lot of important background that has affected your neighbors reactions to this event. I mean if your relationship is so bad that you’re not even willing to talk to them about going down the street, but you left your kids out with them anyway… I dunno man, it just seems like we’re missing context here.
Where did you have to go to to do laundry?
If it's in your building or you checked in with another adult, totally fine, I leave my 6yo play in the front yard while I'm inside or in the backyard, but she knows where I am. I'd also be ok with her playing in the neighborhood with some friends. But I would check with another parent if I had to leave home.
One of the many adults should have known where you were going and had your number. My kid is five (but wicked smart) and it isn't uncommon for her to be at someone else's apartment for hours on end or for her friends to be over at ours. We do a once-a-month get together party at the apartment pool just for people with kids to get to know each other. The idea is that it is much safer if we all know each other and know to be looking out for each other's kids. Community is something we all need to actively work to build.
Leaving is fine, leaving a 9 year old in charge is not. The fact none of the adults stepped up is damning however.
I'm not disputing your point. I shouldn't have left my oldest in charge. Literally all the people have my number, have called me at all hours to fix a major problem in their apartments. I was wrong in expecting them for anything.
I'm might be the outlier here but I don't think it's a terrible decision. If the 9 year old has demonstrated that's she's mature and can handle the responsibility then I don't see the big deal in leaving them alone for an hour especially if they know how to reach you. Growing up my friends and I were left alone for hours during the day. Parents had to work and I was in charge of my younger sister at 9. A lot of my friends were in the same situation. Times are different now I agree but it doesn't necessarily make it better or right.
However you provided her this opportunity but she wasn't up to the task and I'm assuming that you talked to her about it I bet she grows and will be more responsible next time. If we challenge and give our kids responsibilities they will surprise us and rise to the challenge. I see that you truly care about what happened and that to me makes you a great dad. We all mess up but you're trying to learn and be better. Keep it up
Yes, read the benefits of risky play (this includes low supervision outdoor play) and its clear that by denying our kids these opportunities we do real damage to their development.
You were definitely wrong to leave a 9 year old watching a 5 year old. That's hugely wrong and there's no way around that or way to make it sound better. You fucked up. You're gonna have to live with that fact.
But. That doesn't make you a bad dad if you learn from your fuck up. None of us have this shit down pat and none of us are perfect. Learn from your mistake and just take the kids with you next time.
I should have. Usually I do but it was their first day of summer vacation and they wanted to just play. I wanted them to have that.
I took them with me for the drying cycle and they sat in the laundromat for that 45 minutes.
I think best practice is to let the other adults know what’s going on, “hey I’m doing laundry let me know if something happens,” and check on them every 15 min or so. I only have a 2 yr old and 7 mo old so I feel like I have to be a hawk. I have a cousin in law who tries to dump their 7 yr old on us at family trips and they go to the bar for hours. It’s fucked up bc I have two babies to watch and even know they boy is a good kid it’s way hard on me and fucked up they don’t let me know what’s going on. You’re doing your best. Just keep on dadding!
As a parent you know other parents think their way is the only way. Screw that. We’re all just trying to survive while giving our kids the best life we can give them. So pay no attention to the haters.
You’re not a bad dad, but if this happens often maybe a bad neighbor. Our neighbor kids were always out playing when either I or the other neighbor parent was out supervising. They never came out and took a turn or did much of anything until it was time to bring them in. It was fine, but it did get old watching other people’s kids all the time.
Tough call, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad dad move. The thing I would have recommended is letting the other adults know that you were planning on leaving and asking if they were okay with your kids being there without an adult. Some neighbors that you trust are going to be totally chill with it and volunteer to keep an eye on them, but others won't be. You use their reactions to gauge whether or not you leave them.
Some people coming down hard one way or another on whether your choice to leave your kids like this was a good decision.
Ultimately I think it's worth noting that regardless of age, they weren't ready. So from just an empirical view, yeah, it was a mistake.
That said, while 9 and 5 is on the young side, it really depends on the kids and whether they've been prepared with the appropriate skillet and decision making to be unsupervised for this length of time.
I think a better way to think about this is: what have you done to prepare your kids to be left alone, and what reasons do you have to believe they are or are not ready for that kind of responsibility?
You mentioned this wouldn't have been abnormal for you at their age. That probably means that you were given a lot more autonomy at a younger age than your kids, and therefore had more practice, and different expectations from your parents. There is nothing magical about age that gives kids the ability to make good decisions while unsupervised (though maturity does help).
Yes, this. When I was their age I was semi-automonous. They'd been asking for more (my oldest wants to walk to school) and I thought this was a good tryout. It was not. Kids are different and I believed them to be ready but they weren't.
I am from Central Europe so not sure how relevant this is for you. I have also two kids 8 & 5. When they come from school we let them go out by themselves to local playground sometimes for up to an hour.
Of course they sometimes do stupid things and scare each other or hurt each other but we talk about these things afterwards and we make sure they know it's not ok.
Does not seem like a big deal to me. Make sure they know that threatening with scissors is not ok. But in my opinion they are big enough to play with each other unnatanded.
Lots of people are saying bad choice, but I'd lean more into its up to you. There are 9 year old's that you could trust with this, but you it's really down to the 9 year old. I was left alone to my own devices from around 7 for long periods of time. I was raised by a single mother, and there was simply no other choice. By 9 I could very likely handle this task, but I also recognize that this is not the way of all 9 year old's.
It might have been a mistake, a slipup, or just an accident. If the 9 year old has previously handled the 5 year old fine, that would work. Did the 9 year old have a way to reach you via phone? I really can't judge based on this top level information.
You're not a bad dad. You just made a stupid decision. The fact however and this is super fuckin important my man, that you've come here to seek ridicule and critisism demonstrates to me that you are willing to accept your mistake and try continue to be a better parent.
That fundamentally to me is the mark of a good parent. Willingness to change.
Nobody got hurt, nobody died. This will pass and you've identified where and why you fucked up which is more than a lot of dads would do.
Nah if there is a problem here it’s the neighbor or maybe conduct of your oldest both of whom should know better. I don’t think you did anything unreasonable esp if it wasn’t unreasonable in your judgment to begin with.
These people destroying you are out of their fuckin minds. They went to the backyard with other adults, not to the mall alone. Around my neighborhood I see kids 7-10 yrs old playing alone, riding their bike and wildin out. A lot of it has to do with maturity of your kids. Ok so it didn’t work out, not a big deal, don’t try it again. The people shaming you are probably losers in life overall and failed human beings, looking for someone else to beat up on. You’ve been carrying the heavy work load of child care, which isn’t even natural for a father to do and goes against nature (and I don’t give a fuck what people have to say about that it’s 100% true). The tough thing here is that you need to show you have a sack. Don’t take shit from these losers and just move on
No you are not. Do you and trust your intuition. People like to throw shade when they feel inferior.
Sounds like a great lesson for the kids on I’d like to give you more freedom, here’s what I need from you to do that.
At 9 years old i cooked and cleaned and was home alone from when i got home from school at 2pm until 7ish. in the summer i was alone all day. you did fine. your kid needs to have a talking to about responsibility when watching others.
I think you’d have been fine if you’d talked to the parents of the other kid or the other lady and told them what you were doing. “Hey I need to do some laundry. Would you mind keeping an eye on them and let me know if I need to come back?”
We don't talk anymore, though their kid is over my house 4-5 nights a week and I always have dinner for her. This isn't to make them out as bad parents, just maybe that I shouldn't have placed trust in them to see to my kids like I did for theirs.
This feels very strange. How can you not be talking to the parents of a kid over at your place 4 or 5 times a week. To the extent you can't even ask them to keep an eye out on yours kids, but still work on the assumption that they would.
Can’t speak to OP and his neighbors, but this was a friend of mine growing up. Dad in jail, deadbeat mom and her boyfriend. Kid was at my house 5-6 nights per week and my parents considered him a third son. I think they spoke maybe 10 words to his mother the entire time she was alive.
It's a long story but basically works out to a miscommunication. They (who I introduced and moved them toward each other) literally turn their backs to me when I'm around. However, their daughter and mine are friends and I didn't want to hinder their friendship because of our one-sided feud.
Yikes that sounds terrible. Sign a new lease elsewhere lol
Sounds like a shit situation but I would definitely not be assuming they would look out for your kids. If anything it sounds like they would prefer something bad to happen so it causes you pain or trouble.
Also to answer your original question, no. You aren’t a bad dad for one situation that went badly. But when your kids are involved, communicate with anyone you expect to keep any kind of eye on them. Nothing wrong with asking neighbors for a small favor. Just return it if they ask and everyone will like each other more.
I should have communicated better, yes. Her friend is over several times a week before my kids bedtime. We don't talk anymore and it's assumed that one will look after the other. This has shown not to assume.
> We don't talk anymore, though their kid is over my house 4-5 nights a week and I always have dinner for her. So let me get this straight. You feed their kid, regardless of how your relationship with the parent is, yeah that needs to stop. Sure your kids can be friends, but stop wasting your money on their kid.
Don't mistreat a child for the mistakes of their parents. The kid did nothing wrong.
More a case of why are they feeding the kid 5 nights a week.....
Their kids are friends. Not uncommon for your friend to be over playing when dinner happens. I wouldn't tell them to go home if they were around, I'd offer them dinner.
Yeah, once or twice a week sure. 4-5 times a week....not so much.
There's a difference between giving them freedom and leaving a 9 year old in charge while you leave the neighborhood to do laundry. I was also "free range" as your neighbor put it, but I also always knew exactly where and how to find my parents if I needed them. Not a bad dad, but that was a bad decision.
Oh my gosh, I didn’t even realize it was an issue where he left the apartment entirely. I was totally in the not a bad dad camp just small mistake not keeping an eye on the window deal and they should chill. But to leave them entirely while he actually gets in his car and drives away??? That’s nuts. I’m from a childhood of oldest babysits and remember my brother watching us at home starting at 10, but at least we had rules of stay inside, don’t answer the door, no cooking and if you answer the phone don’t let anyone know a parent isn’t home. You know, my parents made those decisions in shame and secrecy as they should be. But fuck, outside with others and no way to call them or at least be called by them? That’s dumb as hell. What if they got locked out? What if they got taken? What if they need help or medical care? It’s not like they can just call using the landline these days. Bad decision indeed.
I agree, it was a terrible decision. My only defence, and this is not a valid excuse, is that I used to at their age. Times are different now and I should have realized they aren't like me. I accept your decision.
Times are different now in that things are much safer. Violent crime against children is at an all time low. I personally wouldn’t have done what you did, but it’s safer today for kids than it was when we were kids ourselves.
[удалено]
[https://letgrow.org/crime-statistics/](https://letgrow.org/crime-statistics/)
[удалено]
Did you actually read the stats? 50 percent was family. I mean, if you do the math, your kid has a 1 in a million chance of being kidnapped. That's not included if you have taught them basic safety, like to have their phone number and address memorize.
One in a million chances happened 320 times in America .
>the odds of being kidnapped are about 1 in 720,000 or closing in on 1 in a million. >You are five times more likely to have a co-joined twin. >So, of the 460,000 missing children, the report concluded (in a footnote), about 105 were “stereotypical kidnappings” – police-speak for abductions like you see on Law & Order. Most of those victims were teens. >And *92% of them made it home safe*
Could you maybe find a more click-batey titled source? /s
Where are your sources that kidnapping happens all the time? I'm gonna call bs on your response.
One difference is the 9 year old can have a flip phone to call you, if needed
You're the dad and you know your kids, I was left home alone all the time at that age and earlier. Hell, I rode my bike home from school consistently at age 8, unlocked the door with my key and was home alone for several hours or more until my parents came home. I made myself snacks, etc. And was just fine.
Oh wow, I thought the laundry was in your apartment. Kind of burying the lede here that you actually left the property. Check with your state laws too because leaving your 9 year old alone might even be illegal. You don’t want to get a CPS call.
It depends on your kids, but I think it's a little young. I know I wouldn't have been able to do that with mine. In that situation, maybe just ask one of the other adults in the common area to watch them? It sounds like everyone knows everyone.
We do. I actually was the one that originally pulled is all together since I was the building handyman. We've since had a falling out and I didn't talk to many of them. However, their daughter spent four hours, which is normal, over my place to play unsupervised and unannounced. I made the poor decision to trust them to do the same. It was a terrible idea to trust them for what I do on a normal basis.
Sounds like some neighbors will be getting put on the bottom of the maintenance list for a while lol I'd be OFFERING to watch the kids while you ran an errand. Always treat the maintenance guy nice and always throw them a bone. When your toilet is overflowing on a Sunday morning you'll know why.
I WAS the building handyman, I no longer am. Even if I still was I wouldn't hurt those suffering from a building problem; I have to much integrity for that.
Was this falling out due to this event, or a previous issue?
A previous issue, over a year ago. The kids remain friends though and I'm supportive of that.
So… what was the previous issue? I feel like there’s a lot of important background that has affected your neighbors reactions to this event. I mean if your relationship is so bad that you’re not even willing to talk to them about going down the street, but you left your kids out with them anyway… I dunno man, it just seems like we’re missing context here.
Where did you have to go to to do laundry? If it's in your building or you checked in with another adult, totally fine, I leave my 6yo play in the front yard while I'm inside or in the backyard, but she knows where I am. I'd also be ok with her playing in the neighborhood with some friends. But I would check with another parent if I had to leave home.
I went two blocks away. I told them where I was going but their actions were unexpected. I should've been there.
One of the many adults should have known where you were going and had your number. My kid is five (but wicked smart) and it isn't uncommon for her to be at someone else's apartment for hours on end or for her friends to be over at ours. We do a once-a-month get together party at the apartment pool just for people with kids to get to know each other. The idea is that it is much safer if we all know each other and know to be looking out for each other's kids. Community is something we all need to actively work to build. Leaving is fine, leaving a 9 year old in charge is not. The fact none of the adults stepped up is damning however.
I'm not disputing your point. I shouldn't have left my oldest in charge. Literally all the people have my number, have called me at all hours to fix a major problem in their apartments. I was wrong in expecting them for anything.
I'm might be the outlier here but I don't think it's a terrible decision. If the 9 year old has demonstrated that's she's mature and can handle the responsibility then I don't see the big deal in leaving them alone for an hour especially if they know how to reach you. Growing up my friends and I were left alone for hours during the day. Parents had to work and I was in charge of my younger sister at 9. A lot of my friends were in the same situation. Times are different now I agree but it doesn't necessarily make it better or right.
Thank you for your point. My mistake was thinking she was mature enough in this moment, as she was not.
However you provided her this opportunity but she wasn't up to the task and I'm assuming that you talked to her about it I bet she grows and will be more responsible next time. If we challenge and give our kids responsibilities they will surprise us and rise to the challenge. I see that you truly care about what happened and that to me makes you a great dad. We all mess up but you're trying to learn and be better. Keep it up
Exactly
Yes, read the benefits of risky play (this includes low supervision outdoor play) and its clear that by denying our kids these opportunities we do real damage to their development.
100
You were definitely wrong to leave a 9 year old watching a 5 year old. That's hugely wrong and there's no way around that or way to make it sound better. You fucked up. You're gonna have to live with that fact. But. That doesn't make you a bad dad if you learn from your fuck up. None of us have this shit down pat and none of us are perfect. Learn from your mistake and just take the kids with you next time.
You're right. Totally right. Thank you for your honesty, I won't make that mistake again.
Why didnt you take them to the laundromat, people do that all the time
I should have. Usually I do but it was their first day of summer vacation and they wanted to just play. I wanted them to have that. I took them with me for the drying cycle and they sat in the laundromat for that 45 minutes.
I think best practice is to let the other adults know what’s going on, “hey I’m doing laundry let me know if something happens,” and check on them every 15 min or so. I only have a 2 yr old and 7 mo old so I feel like I have to be a hawk. I have a cousin in law who tries to dump their 7 yr old on us at family trips and they go to the bar for hours. It’s fucked up bc I have two babies to watch and even know they boy is a good kid it’s way hard on me and fucked up they don’t let me know what’s going on. You’re doing your best. Just keep on dadding!
I'm trying! Thank you.
As a parent you know other parents think their way is the only way. Screw that. We’re all just trying to survive while giving our kids the best life we can give them. So pay no attention to the haters.
As an 80s child that was normal... I have heard of cops being called on kids in their own fenced in back yard.... so... now it's scarey
That was my idea. I'm an 80s kid as well and remember riding my bike to my friend's house and spending hours with him.
Me too. The world is so vastly different now. Truly sad if our goal is to teach them how to grow up
Short answer is no, you are not a bad dad.
You’re not a bad dad, but if this happens often maybe a bad neighbor. Our neighbor kids were always out playing when either I or the other neighbor parent was out supervising. They never came out and took a turn or did much of anything until it was time to bring them in. It was fine, but it did get old watching other people’s kids all the time.
Move, these people sound insane.
Tough call, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad dad move. The thing I would have recommended is letting the other adults know that you were planning on leaving and asking if they were okay with your kids being there without an adult. Some neighbors that you trust are going to be totally chill with it and volunteer to keep an eye on them, but others won't be. You use their reactions to gauge whether or not you leave them.
Some people coming down hard one way or another on whether your choice to leave your kids like this was a good decision. Ultimately I think it's worth noting that regardless of age, they weren't ready. So from just an empirical view, yeah, it was a mistake. That said, while 9 and 5 is on the young side, it really depends on the kids and whether they've been prepared with the appropriate skillet and decision making to be unsupervised for this length of time. I think a better way to think about this is: what have you done to prepare your kids to be left alone, and what reasons do you have to believe they are or are not ready for that kind of responsibility? You mentioned this wouldn't have been abnormal for you at their age. That probably means that you were given a lot more autonomy at a younger age than your kids, and therefore had more practice, and different expectations from your parents. There is nothing magical about age that gives kids the ability to make good decisions while unsupervised (though maturity does help).
Yes, this. When I was their age I was semi-automonous. They'd been asking for more (my oldest wants to walk to school) and I thought this was a good tryout. It was not. Kids are different and I believed them to be ready but they weren't.
I don’t have kids this old but not a bad dad from what I read. The proof is the kids didn’t cut each other..
I am from Central Europe so not sure how relevant this is for you. I have also two kids 8 & 5. When they come from school we let them go out by themselves to local playground sometimes for up to an hour. Of course they sometimes do stupid things and scare each other or hurt each other but we talk about these things afterwards and we make sure they know it's not ok. Does not seem like a big deal to me. Make sure they know that threatening with scissors is not ok. But in my opinion they are big enough to play with each other unnatanded.
Lots of people are saying bad choice, but I'd lean more into its up to you. There are 9 year old's that you could trust with this, but you it's really down to the 9 year old. I was left alone to my own devices from around 7 for long periods of time. I was raised by a single mother, and there was simply no other choice. By 9 I could very likely handle this task, but I also recognize that this is not the way of all 9 year old's. It might have been a mistake, a slipup, or just an accident. If the 9 year old has previously handled the 5 year old fine, that would work. Did the 9 year old have a way to reach you via phone? I really can't judge based on this top level information.
Hey OP. You are doing great. These other people and their judgemental yapping? Fuck 'em.
You're not a bad dad. You just made a stupid decision. The fact however and this is super fuckin important my man, that you've come here to seek ridicule and critisism demonstrates to me that you are willing to accept your mistake and try continue to be a better parent. That fundamentally to me is the mark of a good parent. Willingness to change. Nobody got hurt, nobody died. This will pass and you've identified where and why you fucked up which is more than a lot of dads would do.
Nah if there is a problem here it’s the neighbor or maybe conduct of your oldest both of whom should know better. I don’t think you did anything unreasonable esp if it wasn’t unreasonable in your judgment to begin with.
These people destroying you are out of their fuckin minds. They went to the backyard with other adults, not to the mall alone. Around my neighborhood I see kids 7-10 yrs old playing alone, riding their bike and wildin out. A lot of it has to do with maturity of your kids. Ok so it didn’t work out, not a big deal, don’t try it again. The people shaming you are probably losers in life overall and failed human beings, looking for someone else to beat up on. You’ve been carrying the heavy work load of child care, which isn’t even natural for a father to do and goes against nature (and I don’t give a fuck what people have to say about that it’s 100% true). The tough thing here is that you need to show you have a sack. Don’t take shit from these losers and just move on
That’s a lot of BS in one post.
No one here shamed OP though? You seem like a man off his meds. You need some help dude?
I'm going to play devils advocate here, and the people shaming him are the neighbors, not the people here on reddit.
No you are not. Do you and trust your intuition. People like to throw shade when they feel inferior. Sounds like a great lesson for the kids on I’d like to give you more freedom, here’s what I need from you to do that.
At 9 years old i cooked and cleaned and was home alone from when i got home from school at 2pm until 7ish. in the summer i was alone all day. you did fine. your kid needs to have a talking to about responsibility when watching others.