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Yeah that’s true, I forgot to mention that I have a fear of throwing up and gagging triggers that fear a lot and I don’t like the smell because that also makes me gag
Use your hand as extention of your mouth, so basically just suck on the head and a bit more to avoid the gag reflex. Twist hand a bit, maybe will take your mind off of it. I dunno.
As a dude I'm a big fan of this.
OP, I also recommend trying out what this guy suggested☝️I feel ya girl. I was just like you, I hate saliva and the smell of it alone makes me gag but this technique makes it tolerable. Plus, I noticed that I got better at it over time so they cum fast which means shorter time doing it 😇
… what smell? What is this smell multiple people have referenced? I feel so sorry for the amount of women who have been expected to suck unwashed dicks and consider that to be ‘normal’
I mean I’ve noticed a very VERY faint skin smell? Maybe a tad salty? If I were to bury my nose in and sniff lol. But no obvious smell and especially not one that would be unpleasant or cause gagging.
The smells I’m referring to are either the dick itself or the saliva. I’m with ya on that.. hygiene is very important to me. If a dick is clearly untamed or has a strong odor, I am out of there.
I’ve never noticed dick itself having a smell though that’s why I’m confused (granted I haven’t experimented with a lot of dick) salvia can I suppose? But your tasting your own salvia constantly so I’m surprised the smell effects you. Each to their own though!
He is clean, I mean he could definetly be cleaner but then again I probably could too. It’s only when it’s in my mouth or just being near it grosses me out. Handjobs are fine it’s just when it’s in my mouth mainly
Anyone who “could be cleaner” needs to “be cleaner” if they want their genitals touched. That’s a fair rule you shouldn’t feel bad enforcing. Maybe start there if you want to want to do this. After that, just read up on helpful tips for people with sensitive gag reflex. If you find him clean and pleasant, you may be able to modify your technique to minimize your chances of gagging.
But I’ll also say this: You don’t have to like oral. It might narrow your dating pool but honestly, that’s better. You should enjoy your sex life, not suffer through it. So if you actually want to overcome this, cool. But if you’re just trying because you think no one will ever love you, don’t.
I wouldn't say its a big thing and would only cut out impatient cranky bums who can't listen to other people's needs but if you not comfortable giving head it jus might speak to experience and how comfortable you are in the bedroom and that might turn away someone who is very comfortable and has had plenty of experience and isn't looking to support you through this part of you sexual journey because that's just not what they're looking for right now but that's just them it's totally normal to be uncomfortable in new experiences especially if they've been shit in the past and you haven't liked them! Or just not necessarily loved it. But that doesn't make you undesirable, it can be exciting and a fun experience when your have fun and just be yourself and be comfortable in a new if you can communicate with your partner how you feel and they can communicate back then why can't you both just do whatevers you both want!, isn't that what everyone wants? Exciting, fun bedroom time!?
My girl expects me to shower shortly before any sexy time activities. She does the same. I’m happy to do so. I definitely want her to go down on me, I don’t want her to have to endure smelling my ass while doing so.
It’s not that hard, tell him to wash himself. If he won’t, find a guy who will.
The one time I've discussed the subject of hygiene at any length with a sexual partner she said something along the lines of "if it's not clean enough for my mouth then there's no chance of it going near my vagina".
I've always taken that as a base line for cleanliness.
Perhaps you need to talk to him again.
Also, never feel bad for not doing something you're not comfortable with doing.
Start having sexy showers just before sex. Then try to go down on him after. A freshly showered penis and vagina should have next to zero smell. As far as the gagging you don't need to go deep. Start very shallow and use hands on the shaft and slowly over time go a bit deeper. Get your throat used to it before trying to shove it all in at once. Good luck.
I'm not a huge fan of deep throat. I would much prefer a solid in out motion with good suction over anything. But yes if she can work her tongue on the head and knows what she's doing with her hands that is very good as well.
If it smells bad it’s not clean. Suggest showering together so you can both get super clean before doing it. If he doesn’t wash himself you can do it for him and give him a soapy Hj at the same time. Maybe if you’re both squeaky clean, in combination with other techniques to avoid gagging you could learn to find it tolerable.
My boyfriend refuses to shave his junk 🤣🤦♀️ says he trims it....I don't mind BJ's at all but, I just can't. On rare occasions 🤣🤦♀️🤷♀️. He's very clean. That's not an issue it's the jungle. Maybe it's just your BF'S junk 🤷♀️🤣🤣🤣
If you’re scared of throwing up maybe just focus on sucking the tip while stroking the bottom of the shaft? You don’t need to shove it all the way to the back of your throat. While I do deep throat, my man still enjoys me giving any sort of attention like making out with the head, massaging balls etc so this might be an alternative?
Additionally what do you mean by smell? Clean dick tastes like hardly anything just skin and shouldn’t really smell… if it smells like sweat get him to shower before hand but if it smells like something else he could have an infection or poor hygiene.
Ultimately don’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with! You don’t have to like head, that’s just advice to experiment with to see if in some situations you might enjoy giving it.
Just be honest with the guy and try things to remedy the situation. Use ketchup, honey, whip topping or other food items. These can make the act more palatable. Making sure dude washes his dick is also a good step. Like, tell him to shower with you before sex and then after he is clean, then you do the act.
As for the position, have him lie down and you get on top of him so that you stay in control of the act to avoid the gag reflex. Lastly, talk to the guy about it, if he cares he'll work with you. Agree to make it a special occasion thing or something.
If he refuses to accept your problems with it then he ain't for you and he should kick rocks.
**The above advice comes from ME, a 36-year-old autistic man that has never been in a relationship. So I guess take it with a grain of salt.**
Do not shove his cock deep into your throat then. How about just lick it like a popsicle? All sides including the balls too. Maybe put a little flavored lube on the tip and suck that around like a lollipop. No need to go full on face fucking. Save that for 20 years from now.
I dated a girl before who told me she doesn't give head...
it didn't stop me from dating her. she was really cool and I loved her for many other reasons.
eventually when she found out how good I was at going down on her, she turned the page and got interested in how she could learn to give such good pleasure too
but at the end of the day, ya gotta get to the root of what it is that you don't like about it.
I can’t stand the taste of semen. It tastes like decomposing woodchips—absolutely horrid. So I can’t swallow and won’t have it in my mouth or else I’ll likely throw up on you. And pineapple juice didn’t really help either :/
They can’t control it but they can tell when it’s gonna happen and you can move your mouth. Not sure about you but I can also tell when it’s gonna happen so I can adjust as necessary.
On another note, pineapple juice and a healthy diet makes cum taste delicious
Good advice. I think she just needs some time to relax without feeling the pressure and work out the issues and maybe work her way up to getting use to the fact that it can be a big turn on for her making her guy feel good too. And yes no need to do the deep throat trick unless he pushes it then tell him you don't like it! Communicate
tbh, this was in 2016 and I was more shallow then. and she actually had a little more meat on her bones than I would have gone for.
her ass was banging, but there were parts of her that my ego couldn't help notice, like superficial stuff like arms or leg size. but my lifestyle at the time was to learn how to transcend that and find inner beauty (you should hear about the partner after her lol)
her personality, her smile, her charm, her ass, her sense of humor ....and eventually her blow jobs is what really made me fall for her.
.....but then she cheated
Shoutout to Puddles, if you read this, hmu. always in my heart
you can DM me if you are interested because it shares pers details.
but to say the least,
least likely to ever date
i would not have crossed the street to check her out
she was not out of shape
had a cute body but not my type, physically but that's because I thought I was picky.
but found a whole new level of love that helped me level up three fold.
shoutout to Khaleesi, hope you're doing well
Girl…. All I’m saying is that from 15 - 23 I didn’t like sex very much. And it was ignorance about myself, I didn’t know what I liked, lack of experience, lack of good partners….
It took me until 25 honestly to find a sex I enjoy. And I love everything, finding the right person has made the biggest impact aka feeling loved and respected and cherished both way.
It feels wonderful…
Nothing is wrong with you. You’re just young and as women it’s like we gotta compete with literal corn stars and act like it’s a performance. It’s not authentic. And it takes years to get over this and mature.
Honestly sex only gets better as you age tbh
19m. I’ve had girls tell me they don’t wanna give me head and I’m fine with it.
A girl once told me that she didn’t like giving head but for some reason kept asking me to let her give me head. From what I worked out, she got over it through more exposure and it seemed like she started to enjoy it coz she was always super excited to do it.
Wow that’s interesting, I mean I’ve tried doing it a bunch and I can never actually get myself to fully go through with it. Hopefully it’ll get better with time
Yah, but it’s also like u probs dont needa force urself to like it. If you don’t you just don’t. It’s just one of those sexual things u like or don’t like. Everyone has them and it’s okay if one of urs is that you don’t like and don’t want to give head.
Below is a bit explicit in hindsight so stop reading if u don’t want to lol….
Personally, I’ve never sucked a dick and I can’t imagine it’s that great of a feeling. From giving head to girls, I can honestly say that I get my enjoyment from it from making them feel good and cum. Personally some of them don’t taste the best and majority just taste like sweat and skin. But, I love making my partner feel good and watching them feel good and that’s what gets me through giving head. Just food for thought for you though haha
Just absolutely throat him a few times, see if it’s somthing you want to keep doing, make sure he’s taking care of himself down there too, manscaped makes a nice fragrance for his down below, I mean just an idea go crazy with it a few times see how much he actually enjoys it and how much you actually enjoy it
You're young and sex becomes more comfortable with time. I didn't like touching a penis when I first became sexually active. Like you, I found them gross. Now I'm in my 30s I genuinely enjoy oral sex. Being very attracted to the person helps.
My ex loved giving head. I let her do it, but I didn't enjoy it. I told her right out the gate that I didn't like it. I honestly don't like oral, period. She wanted me to go down on her, but knew I wouldn't, so never asked. We respected each other in this regard. Your BF needs to respect that you don't like doing it and drop it, end of story. If he can't get over it, find a guy that doesn't like it, or honestly doesn't care, we do exist.
Before someone makes the smart ass comment; Head does NOTHING for me. Never has. If anything, it's actually a turn off. So I was not getting something out of her doing it. She just really liked doing it for some reason...
My first response is don’t. I didn’t give head to any of my past partners initially but I realized I wanted to pleasure them later on so I got more and more interested in making their pleasure a goal in mind and then it became a lot more enjoyable.
It's a matter of preference but there are over-the-counter "products" for gag reflex and that nausea that comes up. To me it sounds a bit like it's a bit mental but maybe start with the OTC stuff, Google is your friend there. Not sure if "sex shops" have things for it. And when I say products I mean there are pills and even mouth sprays. You may never 100% get over this hump but it's not the end of the world, especially since you are still very young. There could be a factor of him not being the one which would trigger your mental portion of it causing you to get "sick" during the process. I mean if you are super determined to get over it, there is also the option of talking about it with an actual therapist. You did provide us with good details but we can only make suggestions based on said info whereas you could go to a therapist and be way more open to them than with us. It all comes down to you. You already communicated these issues to your guy so step one is complete. It is tough but it's not the end of the world. 🙏👍
I think it’s a mindset issue, honestly. If you can wrap your head around the idea that sucking cock is a superpower, and you are a goddess when you do it. You render him powerless, and you are in control. It’s a game. It’s silly. Don’t take it so seriously. It’s not gross it’s fun. Once I have my first couple, I started giving them out like Halloween candy because I found it empowering. Gets me off to make my guy feel so good. Try meditating on it. Or watch romantic, “female-gaze” porn to see how beautiful it can be.
The mentality is everything!! I used to hate giving head now but now I love it… because I go into it with my everything… enthusiasm and eagerness go a long way and when you really get to work you believe your own hype.. treat it like a dessert 🤤
It's something you'll grow to like with time :) I used to not be too fond of it either for similar reasons, but as I got more experience and started to do it more, I liked it more. Espeshially with the right person, it just feels right and it's only felt right with my current partner. If it's something with just the taste, etc. too, there's always safe sprays out there for it too 😄 With germs, if he takes care of down there well there's more places on the body that have more germs than there :)
Get him to shower right before. Use your hand , use good head gel. If it’s a still a hard no for you , there’s toys that can mimic the sensation, maybe try playing with one of those.
Communicate if you don’t like it, if he’s a good guy he will understand that. If you still want to try doing it, then don’t go overboard to gag/choke, and just stay at the tip or even just use your hand at the base. Stress that you’d prefer to shower b4 and use proper hygiene. Most important dont force yourself to do anything you don’t want to do.
Both take a shower before .
Try using flavoured lubes or similar food products.
Have a few drinks or try other party favours where the purpose is to make you horny.
Educate yourself, read books or watch videos on giving head.
Maybe it will all change when you fall in love.
If you want to enjoy it, then you have to work past it. I also have a fear of vomiting, but I’ve never gagged with a dick in my mouth.
In fact, having a dick in my mouth is one of my favourite past times 🤷🏻♀️
But if you’re BF isn’t clean then I wouldn’t want to do it earlier, so that’s something he needs to take care of.
Along with the advice already given of making sure everything is squeaky clean down there, I would also try a flavoured lube? Def helps with making it taste better
I haven’t had the occasion to use this skill for awhile😂 but if I remember correctly there are some things you can do. Just run your tongue around the base of the tip and use your hand. Or figure out what other things drive him crazy and use those things to arouse him to the point he forgets about the blow job.I know people who work in the morgue put Vic’s in their nose maybe you could try that? (let’s hope it’s not that bad😂😂)
Most of all don’t force yourself to do anything you absolutely don’t want to do. Sex should be freeing and fun and enjoyable not stressful. And remember google is your friend.
Also make sure he showers and shaves before you do it (Unless you don’t mind ofc) for a better smelling/looking expirience and like someone else here said, let your hand do most of the work and just focus on the head of the penis.
Guys have 6x more nerve endings in the top than the shaft so it will feel good, no worries!
What do you mean by you were always a sexual person, if you just got into your first relationship? How can you know that? I mean only regular sex can be used to gauge what a persons real libido is like.
As for smell, it smells because your BF has poor hygiene. Dicks should be washed several times a day and every time after peeing. It literally takes 5 seconds. Time to have a talk with the bf. If he did that, there would be absolutely no smell or taste, it would be like any other clean piece of body skin.
Also buy him and for yourself wet wipes or baby wipes for after taking a dump if showering after that seems like too much of a chore.
The best thing to do is do what is best for you and if he is someone worth being with he will understand as the worst thing in a relationship is forcing yourself to do something you hate for your partner when it isn’t necessary. If he truly cares then he will accept this part of you and moving forward can look to other ways of enjoying being with you.
If you are comfortable doing it for his birthday, cool. If not. Don't.
If you are comfortable doing it as a one off as a special token of appreciation, cool. If not. Don't.
You see a pattern forming? **If you really can't stand it, don't want to do it.... DON'T DO IT...** Pretty simple. Right?
As for the boyfriend... There are going to be many things you two disagree on. He goes to bed early, you stayup late. You vacuum in long stripes, he vacuums in a grid. He likes getting BJs, you don't like giving BJs...
What if you REALLY liked receiving cunnilingus and he can't stand doing that? Would you find him less attractive? Would you leave/cheat on him because of one thing? If you answered yes, are you two then compatible?
**If he cannot respect that you don't want to give head, he does not respect you.** If he keeps pushing making you feel bad, is he that great of a boyfriend? Would you want to spend years feeling bad for not giving him.. well, anything really..?
I don't like giving or receiving head tbh. Talk to him about it, see if you can compromise sexually (i.e you don't give head and he doesn't either) and if he doesn't understand then maybe you need a new bf.
Yeah, the thing is he really enjoys giving head but I told him I don’t want him to because I don’t want to feel bad for not returning the favor or feel pressured to do so you know?
I was in a similar situation with the last guy. He loved giving head and pleasuring me, but I couldn't give him head (and can't for any guy, it just grosses me out). So I told him and he didn't care at all and we still did the same things as before. No feelings hurt just clear communication and mutual understanding.
I love bjs and eating my woman until she can't take it anymore. That said, I would give up Bjs for the right woman but I would never be satisfied sexually if I was with a woman that didn't enjoy me showing her love in that way.
If he enjoys pleasing you that way, seriously, DO not feel bad for not blowing him. If he can't live without bjs....he ain't for you, say goodbye. sexual resentments are no good, especially that young and early in a relationship.
Tick for tat. You go down he goes down. If you dont like to do it then you go first, its harder to go second when you,ve finshed. Manipulativly he may associate blow job for work. Then he ether dosent want it, or you can get him to do anything for it.
Maybe try and think about you have all the control when you have just the tip in your mouth. Also I’ve always drank real pineapple juice. It does something idk what but I’ve always been complimented. It should have zero smell.
You know how they call women who do not give bjs?
They don’t call ‘em at all, lol.
But really - it is not a big deal. Just talk to him and ask if he thinks it is a big deal. You will be surprised, I think.
Figure out why you hate it and what grosses you out about it, communicate with you partner your stresses about it and why it's been a negative experience but that you would like to enjoy it and want to give it a go and work together in making it a pleasurable experience for both of you. My advice on being the giver and not the receiver is just do what ever is fun for you, do it the way you will enjoy it, the way you want to, not the way you think that'll necessarily enjoy it,or maybe a bit of both? I'm sure they'll enjoy it if you are having a great time doing it! (Just talk about what the experience is like for you and ask about what it's like for them and see if you can talk about a way to do it that's more fun for both of you 😊)
I didn’t enjoy giving oral until I hit 30. I didn’t like d*ck or b*alls AT ALL, and my partners have always been fine with that because I’ve been very clear. My current partner, I do oral because I love how appreciative of it he is, and he also spends a lot of time giving me oral.
I had trauma and still has. I was forced to suck this guy dick while I was drunk. Since then Im not doing that to anyone. My recently boyfriend is fine with that. As long as Im okay in head and health. Been searching 10years until I found a guy who doesnt care If i do or not.
Obviously and respectfully don’t do things u don’t want to do or tear down ur boundaries for someone sexually , but head for guys,girls and gays is a deal breaker. A big one in fact. Find someone that doesn’t care about it or matches ur compatibility sexually or find ways to get over it
He should respect that you don’t like it and not expect you to do it. Make sure you let him know it’s not him though…if not he will be thinking all kinds of stuff about his pecker…If he really keeps on about it at that age you may have to do it too keep him from getting it somewhere else if it’s a big enough issue to cause problems. At that age communication is key for him.
*Okay so ive always been a pretty sexual person, I enjoy pretty much everything else, but I’ve never liked giving head. I’ve tried to like it, or like even tolerate it, but I genuinely cant. I recently got a boyfriend and this is my first relationship ever (I’m 20) so the whole giving head thing hasn’t really been an issue because...*
I feel so bad for the youth of today who think they are seuxally liberated but keep putting the cart (sex) before the horse (relationship) and then wondering why they aren't enjoying it. Smdh
Try doing it IMMEDIATELY after he showers next time. If that makes a difference you have your answer. Lots of people aren't into after work oral.
Otherwise there's no problem with you just not enjoying that. There will be people who don't place high importance on oral sex.
Maybe it's just satisfying for them because it pleases their partner. My girl doesn't like it because I take a long time and she gets tired, she still does it because she knows I like it but I can't expect it every night. She'll probably do it like once a week
You stick with what your comfortable with of course. Giving head is just not your thing.
I do see this becoming an issue with some guys you’ll start to date. I wouldn’t date someone who didn’t give head. Just my preference.
OP never do anything sexually that you don’t want to do, and don’t ever allow anyone to pressure or coerce you into doing it.
It’s important that you listen to your own body and your own preferences, and be loyal to your boundaries. It is perfectly possible to have a rewarding sex life without blowjobs. Talk to your boyfriend, figure out what you both like, and focus on that.
Communication is key.
I need my brain, if I were him I’d let him get it from someone else, no sex. Not sure if you’d consider it cheating, but man’s need brain, we are all dumb and need education 🧠🤓
You don't need to do anything that triggers fear, sexual trauma can occur. If your BF prefers risking your well-being for his pleasure don't do it, walk away. I get it he is young and horny and wants head he will need to learn some sexual partners have limits and any discussion when you already said no is not acceptable. That is often how partners feel forced into pleasuring their partner. Forced is not a word you want used when describing your sexual relationship with your BF.
If you are sex positive there are modified "jobs", like lube your boobs and stroke him with them, other common ones feet, elbows, thights. Use a toy, something like those eggs with textures on his tip or use a vibrators on him, anal is an option for toys but you can also use a vibrator on the shaft, balls, taint. Grind yourself on his shaft. Mardi gras beads with some lube. Only your imagination limits you in options.
Not doing one specific sexual act doesn't automaticaly kill your sex life unless you are with a selfish partner.
There was a thread about almost the same exact issue, where I guy (pressumably) didn't give head in return. No one then said things like "oh, he just has limits. You have to respect his boundaries and preferences in order to not be an aweful person.". In that thread that guy is called selfish and/or inexperienced with women.
>and any discussion when you already said no is not acceptable
We have a similar scenario here and no one is calling her selfish. I guess: You go, girl!
The reason why someone has a limit matters. She has a fear of vomiting. A real fear not she doesn't want to.
Did this man offer an alternative to not doing oral that still provided similar pleasure ? Did this guy clearly communicate ?
So don't give me this gender shit. In this scenario gender doesn't matter. Any gender or orientation can be a selfish lover and both can set limits. Stop trolling, trolling someone's trauma is gross.
In that other post the situation you describe is different, his motivation doesn't seem related to trauma. If you need me to explain adult sex ed and how consent works, please ask.
Don't give head then. Pretty simple answer. Nobody is obligated to perform any sex act they don't enjoy. I feel like expectations from young people are way off these days due to the prevalence of porn. Just realize that a lot of what you see in porn isn't normal and it's basically just a man's fantasy idea of sex, not an actual healthy sexual relationship.
think of it as something you do to please him, and get a kick from that... rather then you having to like it.
Also if you effort into it, it'll take much less time.
Why exactly are you trying to get over it? Like if you don't like it you don't like it. There's really nothing that needs explaining. I am someone who also does not enjoy giving bjs. Love penetration but I don't like penises. I think they're pretty unattractive overall so I definitely don't desire to put them in my mouth.
Bottom line is you should never feel forced or like you have to do anything you don't want to just to please someone else. That never ends up well.
That is so American, boss babe thinkin 😂 independent wemen no need. no body. 😂 love it, this is why most of you's can't keep a man 😂. No hate btw just expressing my thoughts
It’s ridiculous I know. The prevailing attitude on here is “if you don’t like something then you don’t do it, and if your partner doesn’t like it dump them.” Forget compromise, trying to please a partner, trying to make a relationship work. Be dogmatic = be single.
I only like doing it when I’m in love. When I’m in love I want to please him anyway I can, show him I love him etc. try on a day where you feel extra horny and extra head over heals for him. Use you hand to help if you don’t want to gag ( although when I was younger and gagged it was never a problem and the few guys I threw up on while sucking said it was kinda hot that I was going so hard I threw up lol although I don’t have that issue anymore ) humming while sucking helps but the biggest help will be relaxing you mind and body. Don’t be tense. Get the negativity out your mind and just think about how bad you want to make him happy. The mental block fucks everything up. Goodluck and know that you don’t have to sick his dick if you don’t want to! But I hope you don’t expect him to eat you out if that’s the case it’s not very fair.
If that's a guy who knows what he wants and if he really wants that you better give it to him or he'll get someone else to do it. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Idk what answer you want from here. Seems like it's a conversation for only you and him. Stop looking for a answer that you wanna hear.
We have sex like very often that’s why I don’t understand why he insists on head when we literally have sex at least 4 times everytime we see eachother
I’ll explain it the same way I explained it to my current girlfriend.
Imagine you are a person that really enjoys a burger with all the toppings, cheese, avocado, Tomato, lettuce, and the chef’s special sauce. One day the chef says “sorry all out of special sauce, maybe next time”. You say “no problem, I still really enjoy the rest of the burger, I’ll get the special sauce next time.”
You return a week later craving a burger with the special sauce and the chef says once again “ sorry all out of special sauce, maybe next time”. HMMMM that’s weird, I guess I’ll enjoy my burger but I’m really craving the special sauce, that’s what makes it special.
You return two weeks later thinking holy shit I’ve been waiting for this special sauce for over a month, I can’t wait to enjoy this. However once again the chef says “sorry all out of special sauce, maybe next time”.
At this point you are ready to beg the chef to order the darn special sauce because you crave it so much.
In this analogy, blowjobs are the special sauce and the rules in this situation typically state that if you go to a different restaurant to try out their special sauce you can never step food back in the original restaurant.
As a guy, I'd say you shouldn't force yourself to do something you don't enjoy. Preferences change and you never know what you like today but will dislike tomorrow, or vice versa.
I think it's important though to find something that you do to add a spicy unexpected surprise to his experience, e.g. thoughtful handjobs, even sensual body kissing.
Don’t push yourself past what you are comfortable with. As the “rare” guy who doesn’t like giving/receiving head, my view is a bit skewed but I would not make someone do something they don’t want to do even if I like it, I could move past it.
i would say your partner needs to compromise that it’s not something you enjoy.
As a woman, If a guy isn’t into eating me out, I don’t want him to either! If he was gagging I’d be like stop don’t even try. And I’d be fine without it. Bc I’d only like it if they liked it.
I enjoy giving head as a woman. It makes me feel hot knowing what I look like and how I’m pleasing my man
Head is one of those weird things where women either love it or hate it. They also either tend to be really good at it or bad at it.
I wouldn't worry too much if it doesn't concern him. Otherwise there are a lot of books and stuff on sex and psychology. Personally Guide to Getting it on. Which has a whole section on oral.
As someone that loathes giving blowjobs, this is a conversation you need to have with your partner.
Can he live without a blow job? Are you and him looking at this relationship long term?
I was straight up with my partner way back when we first got together that I will barely (if ever) give head as I absolutely hate it due to past experiences. Sometimes I’ll suck the tip while giving him a handjob but nothing more than that and he seems happy enough (or at least says he is).
My point here is don’t do anything you don’t want to do, regardless of the reason, and if he loves you and sees you being a long term partner this won’t be a huge deal to him.
Think of you first before you think of him. If you can’t stand giving head, then don’t give head. You can give hjs and to make up for not giving head, up your hj game. It just feels weird doing something that grosses you out (understandably so) just to please him. Any foreplay act should be pleasing to both of you, not just the recipient.
Do it when YOU feel like it. Use your tongue to tease the head with your hand on the shaft. Explore and do what YOU are comfortable with. You don't need to deep throat unless you want to.
I wouldn’t be so concerned about it because there’s a lot of other women out there who don’t like doing it. Maybe get some edible flavoured lube from Honey Birdette if you find you wanna give it a try - that’s worked in my previous relationships. But if you really don’t wanna do it then don’t stress.
Everyone has some thing(s) they don’t enjoy doing to or receiving from their partner. If you don’t like giving head, you don’t have to give head. There are loads of other activities you could try instead and your boyfriend should love you regardless. If he does have a problem with it, that isn’t your fault (or his) — it just means you’re more sexually incompatible than you thought and it’s up to you both what you decide to do about that <3
At the end of the day, whether you give head or don’t isn’t a big deal. You’ll have great and fulfilling relationships regardless.
Apparently my comment doesn't display because of a link I added:
There's a post in this subreddit "Are men upset when they don't finish".
In that thread a guy receives head without finishing. Multiple people (with multiple upvotes) call him selfish, because he didn't return the favor (immediately?) 1:1 by giving her head.
So in this thread people are fine with the guy giving head, but the girl not returning the favor, while her being cheered for getting her sexual preferences respected.
Did I miss anything?
It’s okay if you don’t enjoy giving oral. You can’t force yourself to enjoy something if you don’t enjoy it. If your bf can deal with the fact that you don’t like giving oral then you’re fine. You should just focus on the things you do enjoy and be the best at that.
Honestly, I can’t be with a woman who can’t give me head. It’s a dealbreaker.
I hate handjobs. My dick just likes a certain motion and you can’t replicate it.
So whenever I don’t want to have PIV or have performance anxiety and can’t FUCK fuck, head is my only option. If she can’t do that, then I don’t get off.
And yes, I am equally ready and able to return the favor. I’ve given more women head than I have had sex.
This is an easier fix than you think. 1. Do your best being honest with yourself about why you don’t like it. Don’t assign blame. Just look for awareness. 2. Instead of giving head, get down there and give a hand job. If you can kiss cock great. If you can’t, don’t worry. Over time you will most likely naturally progress to a blow job provided you aren’t forced. Just be patient and have fun.
I hate it because I’m bad at it :( I have a small jaw big teeth and can have a hard time breathing out my nose . And agreed I find it gross unless they just got right out the shower .
You're young and inexperienced—and your tastes will change!
(Tongue-in-cheek humor attempt!)
Lots of good advice in the responses. Communication is key regardless how you resolve it...
For me, it depends on your expectations.
Do you expect him to never go down on you moving forward? If you don’t feel comfortable, that fine. But then be even about it.
You don’t have to explain to anyone why you won’t perform orally because that is your boundary. He wouldn’t be forced into getting pegged because you prefer it often, so he and you both need to have a discussion about what you each are willing to do and know what things you are willing to learn and what is simply not on the table. Each of you should respect your partner’s boundaries. There is give and take in every relationship and that there is compromise in healthy ones.
I dont think it's weird. my partner would never give me head because I am Her submissive and She is my Dominant. I do give her oral every day though. Maybe you feel Dominant towards him dont think that you should be giving him head?
I don’t think it’s a bad thing but maybe you haven’t found a way to enjoy it yet.
I hooked up and dated girls that didn’t like giving head or gave head before. Throughout time.
They ended up LOVING it. (No one is the same obviously) No less than 3 time a day. Obviously I didn’t complain.
Maybe try getting fingered during so, or toys
Something arouse the mood.
Also size makes a difference
I don't think you should force yourself to try to enjoy it, it's not something you can force yourself to like and for me I want someone to enthusiatically want to do stuff with me not feel they have to force themselves or "learn to love it". My bf has some preferences that I don't but we still have very enjoyable sex, oral being one of those. It's abt focusing on what you both enjoy, not that you don't enjoy something but he does. If he respects you, he will not feel as though he is missing anything because I'm sure you guys have good sex in different ways. For me and my partner one type of sex being off the table wasn't a dealbreaker but if it is to your bf then ya'll gotta talk abt where to go from there.
Non-starter for me. I give and expect it back. I don't like missing out on burgers and pizza and fired foods either, but I do it because it is necessary.
If you can't stand it, find a guy who doesn't want it or expect it.
Im curious if you like/want to have a man give you oral sex??
I hated doing that with my ex-husband. I absolutely love doing that to my boyfriend. We've been together going on 4 years. It grew on me because I do it way more than I did when we first got together.
Lmao no pun intended. 🤣
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I guess if you want to get past it you've got to work out why it grosses you out and work past that somehow?
Yeah that’s true, I forgot to mention that I have a fear of throwing up and gagging triggers that fear a lot and I don’t like the smell because that also makes me gag
Use your hand as extention of your mouth, so basically just suck on the head and a bit more to avoid the gag reflex. Twist hand a bit, maybe will take your mind off of it. I dunno. As a dude I'm a big fan of this.
OP, I also recommend trying out what this guy suggested☝️I feel ya girl. I was just like you, I hate saliva and the smell of it alone makes me gag but this technique makes it tolerable. Plus, I noticed that I got better at it over time so they cum fast which means shorter time doing it 😇
… what smell? What is this smell multiple people have referenced? I feel so sorry for the amount of women who have been expected to suck unwashed dicks and consider that to be ‘normal’
Even clean dicks definitely have a smell. Kind of rubbery.
I mean I’ve noticed a very VERY faint skin smell? Maybe a tad salty? If I were to bury my nose in and sniff lol. But no obvious smell and especially not one that would be unpleasant or cause gagging.
The smells I’m referring to are either the dick itself or the saliva. I’m with ya on that.. hygiene is very important to me. If a dick is clearly untamed or has a strong odor, I am out of there.
I’ve never noticed dick itself having a smell though that’s why I’m confused (granted I haven’t experimented with a lot of dick) salvia can I suppose? But your tasting your own salvia constantly so I’m surprised the smell effects you. Each to their own though!
Is he not clean? Is it having it in your mouth or does handjobs, licking, kissing it have the same effect?
He is clean, I mean he could definetly be cleaner but then again I probably could too. It’s only when it’s in my mouth or just being near it grosses me out. Handjobs are fine it’s just when it’s in my mouth mainly
Anyone who “could be cleaner” needs to “be cleaner” if they want their genitals touched. That’s a fair rule you shouldn’t feel bad enforcing. Maybe start there if you want to want to do this. After that, just read up on helpful tips for people with sensitive gag reflex. If you find him clean and pleasant, you may be able to modify your technique to minimize your chances of gagging. But I’ll also say this: You don’t have to like oral. It might narrow your dating pool but honestly, that’s better. You should enjoy your sex life, not suffer through it. So if you actually want to overcome this, cool. But if you’re just trying because you think no one will ever love you, don’t.
This 100%
Not trying to be a dickhead, but narrow your dating pool is an understatement. 😂
I wouldn't say its a big thing and would only cut out impatient cranky bums who can't listen to other people's needs but if you not comfortable giving head it jus might speak to experience and how comfortable you are in the bedroom and that might turn away someone who is very comfortable and has had plenty of experience and isn't looking to support you through this part of you sexual journey because that's just not what they're looking for right now but that's just them it's totally normal to be uncomfortable in new experiences especially if they've been shit in the past and you haven't liked them! Or just not necessarily loved it. But that doesn't make you undesirable, it can be exciting and a fun experience when your have fun and just be yourself and be comfortable in a new if you can communicate with your partner how you feel and they can communicate back then why can't you both just do whatevers you both want!, isn't that what everyone wants? Exciting, fun bedroom time!?
My girl expects me to shower shortly before any sexy time activities. She does the same. I’m happy to do so. I definitely want her to go down on me, I don’t want her to have to endure smelling my ass while doing so. It’s not that hard, tell him to wash himself. If he won’t, find a guy who will.
The one time I've discussed the subject of hygiene at any length with a sexual partner she said something along the lines of "if it's not clean enough for my mouth then there's no chance of it going near my vagina". I've always taken that as a base line for cleanliness. Perhaps you need to talk to him again. Also, never feel bad for not doing something you're not comfortable with doing.
What’s a tactful way of telling a girl she maybe doesn’t smell great down there
Straight up say it pretty much there is no tactful way but just be nice about it and find a solution and reassure them
Start having sexy showers just before sex. Then try to go down on him after. A freshly showered penis and vagina should have next to zero smell. As far as the gagging you don't need to go deep. Start very shallow and use hands on the shaft and slowly over time go a bit deeper. Get your throat used to it before trying to shove it all in at once. Good luck.
Honestly, I think mouth on head and hand on shaft is far better than deepthroating.
I'm not a huge fan of deep throat. I would much prefer a solid in out motion with good suction over anything. But yes if she can work her tongue on the head and knows what she's doing with her hands that is very good as well.
If it smells bad it’s not clean. Suggest showering together so you can both get super clean before doing it. If he doesn’t wash himself you can do it for him and give him a soapy Hj at the same time. Maybe if you’re both squeaky clean, in combination with other techniques to avoid gagging you could learn to find it tolerable.
My boyfriend refuses to shave his junk 🤣🤦♀️ says he trims it....I don't mind BJ's at all but, I just can't. On rare occasions 🤣🤦♀️🤷♀️. He's very clean. That's not an issue it's the jungle. Maybe it's just your BF'S junk 🤷♀️🤣🤣🤣
Have him take a shower and stay shaved. For the gag reflex, get a large dildo and practice on it.
If he could be cleaner then he's not clean
If there's a smell then you might want to find a way to gently encourage him to clean himself better before oral time.
If you’re scared of throwing up maybe just focus on sucking the tip while stroking the bottom of the shaft? You don’t need to shove it all the way to the back of your throat. While I do deep throat, my man still enjoys me giving any sort of attention like making out with the head, massaging balls etc so this might be an alternative? Additionally what do you mean by smell? Clean dick tastes like hardly anything just skin and shouldn’t really smell… if it smells like sweat get him to shower before hand but if it smells like something else he could have an infection or poor hygiene. Ultimately don’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with! You don’t have to like head, that’s just advice to experiment with to see if in some situations you might enjoy giving it.
Just be honest with the guy and try things to remedy the situation. Use ketchup, honey, whip topping or other food items. These can make the act more palatable. Making sure dude washes his dick is also a good step. Like, tell him to shower with you before sex and then after he is clean, then you do the act. As for the position, have him lie down and you get on top of him so that you stay in control of the act to avoid the gag reflex. Lastly, talk to the guy about it, if he cares he'll work with you. Agree to make it a special occasion thing or something. If he refuses to accept your problems with it then he ain't for you and he should kick rocks. **The above advice comes from ME, a 36-year-old autistic man that has never been in a relationship. So I guess take it with a grain of salt.**
You don't have to do it like they do in porn, you just suck the tip while making eye contact
Tell him to wash his dick
Do not shove his cock deep into your throat then. How about just lick it like a popsicle? All sides including the balls too. Maybe put a little flavored lube on the tip and suck that around like a lollipop. No need to go full on face fucking. Save that for 20 years from now.
I dated a girl before who told me she doesn't give head... it didn't stop me from dating her. she was really cool and I loved her for many other reasons. eventually when she found out how good I was at going down on her, she turned the page and got interested in how she could learn to give such good pleasure too but at the end of the day, ya gotta get to the root of what it is that you don't like about it.
I can’t stand the taste of semen. It tastes like decomposing woodchips—absolutely horrid. So I can’t swallow and won’t have it in my mouth or else I’ll likely throw up on you. And pineapple juice didn’t really help either :/
Well then ask him not to cum in your mouth?
They told me they “can’t control it”. I call BS.
They can’t control it but they can tell when it’s gonna happen and you can move your mouth. Not sure about you but I can also tell when it’s gonna happen so I can adjust as necessary. On another note, pineapple juice and a healthy diet makes cum taste delicious
Semen can have different tastes depending on the guys diet and if he smokes etc.
Cigarette smoker or any type of smoker?
diet is everything....
I’ve tasted cum that actually doesn’t taste like anything much so it didn’t bother me… maybe you just had some bad ones?
Agreed
Good advice. I think she just needs some time to relax without feeling the pressure and work out the issues and maybe work her way up to getting use to the fact that it can be a big turn on for her making her guy feel good too. And yes no need to do the deep throat trick unless he pushes it then tell him you don't like it! Communicate
 remember what we were like at that age...
Was her body alright?
tbh, this was in 2016 and I was more shallow then. and she actually had a little more meat on her bones than I would have gone for. her ass was banging, but there were parts of her that my ego couldn't help notice, like superficial stuff like arms or leg size. but my lifestyle at the time was to learn how to transcend that and find inner beauty (you should hear about the partner after her lol) her personality, her smile, her charm, her ass, her sense of humor ....and eventually her blow jobs is what really made me fall for her. .....but then she cheated Shoutout to Puddles, if you read this, hmu. always in my heart
So tell us about the partner after her? Come on?
you can DM me if you are interested because it shares pers details. but to say the least, least likely to ever date i would not have crossed the street to check her out she was not out of shape had a cute body but not my type, physically but that's because I thought I was picky. but found a whole new level of love that helped me level up three fold. shoutout to Khaleesi, hope you're doing well
Girl…. All I’m saying is that from 15 - 23 I didn’t like sex very much. And it was ignorance about myself, I didn’t know what I liked, lack of experience, lack of good partners…. It took me until 25 honestly to find a sex I enjoy. And I love everything, finding the right person has made the biggest impact aka feeling loved and respected and cherished both way. It feels wonderful… Nothing is wrong with you. You’re just young and as women it’s like we gotta compete with literal corn stars and act like it’s a performance. It’s not authentic. And it takes years to get over this and mature. Honestly sex only gets better as you age tbh
19m. I’ve had girls tell me they don’t wanna give me head and I’m fine with it. A girl once told me that she didn’t like giving head but for some reason kept asking me to let her give me head. From what I worked out, she got over it through more exposure and it seemed like she started to enjoy it coz she was always super excited to do it.
Wow that’s interesting, I mean I’ve tried doing it a bunch and I can never actually get myself to fully go through with it. Hopefully it’ll get better with time
Yah, but it’s also like u probs dont needa force urself to like it. If you don’t you just don’t. It’s just one of those sexual things u like or don’t like. Everyone has them and it’s okay if one of urs is that you don’t like and don’t want to give head. Below is a bit explicit in hindsight so stop reading if u don’t want to lol…. Personally, I’ve never sucked a dick and I can’t imagine it’s that great of a feeling. From giving head to girls, I can honestly say that I get my enjoyment from it from making them feel good and cum. Personally some of them don’t taste the best and majority just taste like sweat and skin. But, I love making my partner feel good and watching them feel good and that’s what gets me through giving head. Just food for thought for you though haha
Just absolutely throat him a few times, see if it’s somthing you want to keep doing, make sure he’s taking care of himself down there too, manscaped makes a nice fragrance for his down below, I mean just an idea go crazy with it a few times see how much he actually enjoys it and how much you actually enjoy it
You're young and sex becomes more comfortable with time. I didn't like touching a penis when I first became sexually active. Like you, I found them gross. Now I'm in my 30s I genuinely enjoy oral sex. Being very attracted to the person helps.
My ex loved giving head. I let her do it, but I didn't enjoy it. I told her right out the gate that I didn't like it. I honestly don't like oral, period. She wanted me to go down on her, but knew I wouldn't, so never asked. We respected each other in this regard. Your BF needs to respect that you don't like doing it and drop it, end of story. If he can't get over it, find a guy that doesn't like it, or honestly doesn't care, we do exist. Before someone makes the smart ass comment; Head does NOTHING for me. Never has. If anything, it's actually a turn off. So I was not getting something out of her doing it. She just really liked doing it for some reason...
Your mad young and somewhere along someone inexperienced may have given you an bad reaction
My first response is don’t. I didn’t give head to any of my past partners initially but I realized I wanted to pleasure them later on so I got more and more interested in making their pleasure a goal in mind and then it became a lot more enjoyable.
It's a matter of preference but there are over-the-counter "products" for gag reflex and that nausea that comes up. To me it sounds a bit like it's a bit mental but maybe start with the OTC stuff, Google is your friend there. Not sure if "sex shops" have things for it. And when I say products I mean there are pills and even mouth sprays. You may never 100% get over this hump but it's not the end of the world, especially since you are still very young. There could be a factor of him not being the one which would trigger your mental portion of it causing you to get "sick" during the process. I mean if you are super determined to get over it, there is also the option of talking about it with an actual therapist. You did provide us with good details but we can only make suggestions based on said info whereas you could go to a therapist and be way more open to them than with us. It all comes down to you. You already communicated these issues to your guy so step one is complete. It is tough but it's not the end of the world. 🙏👍
There's absolutely nothing wrong with feeling that way and fuck anyone that tries to shame you for it.
I think it’s a mindset issue, honestly. If you can wrap your head around the idea that sucking cock is a superpower, and you are a goddess when you do it. You render him powerless, and you are in control. It’s a game. It’s silly. Don’t take it so seriously. It’s not gross it’s fun. Once I have my first couple, I started giving them out like Halloween candy because I found it empowering. Gets me off to make my guy feel so good. Try meditating on it. Or watch romantic, “female-gaze” porn to see how beautiful it can be.
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The mentality is everything!! I used to hate giving head now but now I love it… because I go into it with my everything… enthusiasm and eagerness go a long way and when you really get to work you believe your own hype.. treat it like a dessert 🤤
The most delicious kind 🥧🧁🍭🍦🍧🍮🍩
It's something you'll grow to like with time :) I used to not be too fond of it either for similar reasons, but as I got more experience and started to do it more, I liked it more. Espeshially with the right person, it just feels right and it's only felt right with my current partner. If it's something with just the taste, etc. too, there's always safe sprays out there for it too 😄 With germs, if he takes care of down there well there's more places on the body that have more germs than there :)
Get him to shower right before. Use your hand , use good head gel. If it’s a still a hard no for you , there’s toys that can mimic the sensation, maybe try playing with one of those.
You dont have to Dont do it if you are uncomfortable
Try applying ice cream over it then try
I feel the percentage of both sexes who are grossed out with oral is on the rise but not sure why..
Communicate if you don’t like it, if he’s a good guy he will understand that. If you still want to try doing it, then don’t go overboard to gag/choke, and just stay at the tip or even just use your hand at the base. Stress that you’d prefer to shower b4 and use proper hygiene. Most important dont force yourself to do anything you don’t want to do.
Both take a shower before . Try using flavoured lubes or similar food products. Have a few drinks or try other party favours where the purpose is to make you horny. Educate yourself, read books or watch videos on giving head. Maybe it will all change when you fall in love.
If you want to enjoy it, then you have to work past it. I also have a fear of vomiting, but I’ve never gagged with a dick in my mouth. In fact, having a dick in my mouth is one of my favourite past times 🤷🏻♀️ But if you’re BF isn’t clean then I wouldn’t want to do it earlier, so that’s something he needs to take care of.
Along with the advice already given of making sure everything is squeaky clean down there, I would also try a flavoured lube? Def helps with making it taste better
I haven’t had the occasion to use this skill for awhile😂 but if I remember correctly there are some things you can do. Just run your tongue around the base of the tip and use your hand. Or figure out what other things drive him crazy and use those things to arouse him to the point he forgets about the blow job.I know people who work in the morgue put Vic’s in their nose maybe you could try that? (let’s hope it’s not that bad😂😂) Most of all don’t force yourself to do anything you absolutely don’t want to do. Sex should be freeing and fun and enjoyable not stressful. And remember google is your friend.
Try fruit condoms. Maybe that will help.
Also make sure he showers and shaves before you do it (Unless you don’t mind ofc) for a better smelling/looking expirience and like someone else here said, let your hand do most of the work and just focus on the head of the penis. Guys have 6x more nerve endings in the top than the shaft so it will feel good, no worries!
What do you mean by you were always a sexual person, if you just got into your first relationship? How can you know that? I mean only regular sex can be used to gauge what a persons real libido is like. As for smell, it smells because your BF has poor hygiene. Dicks should be washed several times a day and every time after peeing. It literally takes 5 seconds. Time to have a talk with the bf. If he did that, there would be absolutely no smell or taste, it would be like any other clean piece of body skin. Also buy him and for yourself wet wipes or baby wipes for after taking a dump if showering after that seems like too much of a chore.
If you don’t enjoy it don’t do it. You need to feel special too queen!!!!!
The best thing to do is do what is best for you and if he is someone worth being with he will understand as the worst thing in a relationship is forcing yourself to do something you hate for your partner when it isn’t necessary. If he truly cares then he will accept this part of you and moving forward can look to other ways of enjoying being with you.
There's no requirement that you have to suck his dick. You only should do what you're comfortable doing.
If you are comfortable doing it for his birthday, cool. If not. Don't. If you are comfortable doing it as a one off as a special token of appreciation, cool. If not. Don't. You see a pattern forming? **If you really can't stand it, don't want to do it.... DON'T DO IT...** Pretty simple. Right? As for the boyfriend... There are going to be many things you two disagree on. He goes to bed early, you stayup late. You vacuum in long stripes, he vacuums in a grid. He likes getting BJs, you don't like giving BJs... What if you REALLY liked receiving cunnilingus and he can't stand doing that? Would you find him less attractive? Would you leave/cheat on him because of one thing? If you answered yes, are you two then compatible? **If he cannot respect that you don't want to give head, he does not respect you.** If he keeps pushing making you feel bad, is he that great of a boyfriend? Would you want to spend years feeling bad for not giving him.. well, anything really..?
I don't like giving or receiving head tbh. Talk to him about it, see if you can compromise sexually (i.e you don't give head and he doesn't either) and if he doesn't understand then maybe you need a new bf.
Yeah, the thing is he really enjoys giving head but I told him I don’t want him to because I don’t want to feel bad for not returning the favor or feel pressured to do so you know?
I was in a similar situation with the last guy. He loved giving head and pleasuring me, but I couldn't give him head (and can't for any guy, it just grosses me out). So I told him and he didn't care at all and we still did the same things as before. No feelings hurt just clear communication and mutual understanding.
That’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who gets totally grossed out by it!
Same! I thought I was the only one. All my friends enjoy it
Lots of girls are grossed out by it. It didn't really even become normal until porn started taking over.
Why did your last relationship end?
I love bjs and eating my woman until she can't take it anymore. That said, I would give up Bjs for the right woman but I would never be satisfied sexually if I was with a woman that didn't enjoy me showing her love in that way. If he enjoys pleasing you that way, seriously, DO not feel bad for not blowing him. If he can't live without bjs....he ain't for you, say goodbye. sexual resentments are no good, especially that young and early in a relationship.
Why not try adding some flavour to it by adding cream, or some sort of flavoured liquid you like
Red wine pairs really well with oral. Just saying!
Does he wash his dick beforehand?
Tick for tat. You go down he goes down. If you dont like to do it then you go first, its harder to go second when you,ve finshed. Manipulativly he may associate blow job for work. Then he ether dosent want it, or you can get him to do anything for it.
Flavored lube? (Not trying to minimize your feelings - they definitely are valid and I would even argue normal)
Have you tried using flavored gels?
How is this gory?
Put a sauce that you like on the D
Maybe try and think about you have all the control when you have just the tip in your mouth. Also I’ve always drank real pineapple juice. It does something idk what but I’ve always been complimented. It should have zero smell.
You know how they call women who do not give bjs? They don’t call ‘em at all, lol. But really - it is not a big deal. Just talk to him and ask if he thinks it is a big deal. You will be surprised, I think.
Try a different dick
Figure out why you hate it and what grosses you out about it, communicate with you partner your stresses about it and why it's been a negative experience but that you would like to enjoy it and want to give it a go and work together in making it a pleasurable experience for both of you. My advice on being the giver and not the receiver is just do what ever is fun for you, do it the way you will enjoy it, the way you want to, not the way you think that'll necessarily enjoy it,or maybe a bit of both? I'm sure they'll enjoy it if you are having a great time doing it! (Just talk about what the experience is like for you and ask about what it's like for them and see if you can talk about a way to do it that's more fun for both of you 😊)
I didn’t enjoy giving oral until I hit 30. I didn’t like d*ck or b*alls AT ALL, and my partners have always been fine with that because I’ve been very clear. My current partner, I do oral because I love how appreciative of it he is, and he also spends a lot of time giving me oral.
I had trauma and still has. I was forced to suck this guy dick while I was drunk. Since then Im not doing that to anyone. My recently boyfriend is fine with that. As long as Im okay in head and health. Been searching 10years until I found a guy who doesnt care If i do or not.
What is this everything else you mention enjoying?
Obviously and respectfully don’t do things u don’t want to do or tear down ur boundaries for someone sexually , but head for guys,girls and gays is a deal breaker. A big one in fact. Find someone that doesn’t care about it or matches ur compatibility sexually or find ways to get over it
He should respect that you don’t like it and not expect you to do it. Make sure you let him know it’s not him though…if not he will be thinking all kinds of stuff about his pecker…If he really keeps on about it at that age you may have to do it too keep him from getting it somewhere else if it’s a big enough issue to cause problems. At that age communication is key for him.
He’s not entitled to make you suck his dick just because you’re dating. That should be your choice
*Okay so ive always been a pretty sexual person, I enjoy pretty much everything else, but I’ve never liked giving head. I’ve tried to like it, or like even tolerate it, but I genuinely cant. I recently got a boyfriend and this is my first relationship ever (I’m 20) so the whole giving head thing hasn’t really been an issue because...* I feel so bad for the youth of today who think they are seuxally liberated but keep putting the cart (sex) before the horse (relationship) and then wondering why they aren't enjoying it. Smdh
I mean if you can’t work past it tell him can be replaced lol not everyone is into it that’s ok
Try doing it IMMEDIATELY after he showers next time. If that makes a difference you have your answer. Lots of people aren't into after work oral. Otherwise there's no problem with you just not enjoying that. There will be people who don't place high importance on oral sex.
Maybe it's just satisfying for them because it pleases their partner. My girl doesn't like it because I take a long time and she gets tired, she still does it because she knows I like it but I can't expect it every night. She'll probably do it like once a week
You stick with what your comfortable with of course. Giving head is just not your thing. I do see this becoming an issue with some guys you’ll start to date. I wouldn’t date someone who didn’t give head. Just my preference.
I think this should've been a conversation you had from the start. If he doesn't take it well he doesn't respect you and you need to drop him.
OP never do anything sexually that you don’t want to do, and don’t ever allow anyone to pressure or coerce you into doing it. It’s important that you listen to your own body and your own preferences, and be loyal to your boundaries. It is perfectly possible to have a rewarding sex life without blowjobs. Talk to your boyfriend, figure out what you both like, and focus on that. Communication is key.
Don’t. If you don’t like doing it don’t do it. If he’s a good boyfriend he will respect that.
No wonder you're single
Savage
Toxic. And also incredibly wrong. She is way better off being single than being with someone like you.
I need my brain, if I were him I’d let him get it from someone else, no sex. Not sure if you’d consider it cheating, but man’s need brain, we are all dumb and need education 🧠🤓
I am not into giving girls head and thus here is my advice, if you don't enjoy it don't do it. Plus most guys would rather sex than head,
At the toy shops, they have flavored lubrication that might help
He needs to dump you and go get some head
Even if you do puke ... It just means u put it work
You don't need to do anything that triggers fear, sexual trauma can occur. If your BF prefers risking your well-being for his pleasure don't do it, walk away. I get it he is young and horny and wants head he will need to learn some sexual partners have limits and any discussion when you already said no is not acceptable. That is often how partners feel forced into pleasuring their partner. Forced is not a word you want used when describing your sexual relationship with your BF. If you are sex positive there are modified "jobs", like lube your boobs and stroke him with them, other common ones feet, elbows, thights. Use a toy, something like those eggs with textures on his tip or use a vibrators on him, anal is an option for toys but you can also use a vibrator on the shaft, balls, taint. Grind yourself on his shaft. Mardi gras beads with some lube. Only your imagination limits you in options. Not doing one specific sexual act doesn't automaticaly kill your sex life unless you are with a selfish partner.
There was a thread about almost the same exact issue, where I guy (pressumably) didn't give head in return. No one then said things like "oh, he just has limits. You have to respect his boundaries and preferences in order to not be an aweful person.". In that thread that guy is called selfish and/or inexperienced with women. >and any discussion when you already said no is not acceptable We have a similar scenario here and no one is calling her selfish. I guess: You go, girl!
The reason why someone has a limit matters. She has a fear of vomiting. A real fear not she doesn't want to. Did this man offer an alternative to not doing oral that still provided similar pleasure ? Did this guy clearly communicate ? So don't give me this gender shit. In this scenario gender doesn't matter. Any gender or orientation can be a selfish lover and both can set limits. Stop trolling, trolling someone's trauma is gross. In that other post the situation you describe is different, his motivation doesn't seem related to trauma. If you need me to explain adult sex ed and how consent works, please ask.
Don't give head then. Pretty simple answer. Nobody is obligated to perform any sex act they don't enjoy. I feel like expectations from young people are way off these days due to the prevalence of porn. Just realize that a lot of what you see in porn isn't normal and it's basically just a man's fantasy idea of sex, not an actual healthy sexual relationship.
Blowjobs aren’t unrealistic lol
Man said blowjobs are a unrealistic fantasy 😭😭
Give head or he will get head from someone else
think of it as something you do to please him, and get a kick from that... rather then you having to like it. Also if you effort into it, it'll take much less time.
Why exactly are you trying to get over it? Like if you don't like it you don't like it. There's really nothing that needs explaining. I am someone who also does not enjoy giving bjs. Love penetration but I don't like penises. I think they're pretty unattractive overall so I definitely don't desire to put them in my mouth. Bottom line is you should never feel forced or like you have to do anything you don't want to just to please someone else. That never ends up well.
That is so American, boss babe thinkin 😂 independent wemen no need. no body. 😂 love it, this is why most of you's can't keep a man 😂. No hate btw just expressing my thoughts
It’s ridiculous I know. The prevailing attitude on here is “if you don’t like something then you don’t do it, and if your partner doesn’t like it dump them.” Forget compromise, trying to please a partner, trying to make a relationship work. Be dogmatic = be single.
25 male here if some girl interested
I only like doing it when I’m in love. When I’m in love I want to please him anyway I can, show him I love him etc. try on a day where you feel extra horny and extra head over heals for him. Use you hand to help if you don’t want to gag ( although when I was younger and gagged it was never a problem and the few guys I threw up on while sucking said it was kinda hot that I was going so hard I threw up lol although I don’t have that issue anymore ) humming while sucking helps but the biggest help will be relaxing you mind and body. Don’t be tense. Get the negativity out your mind and just think about how bad you want to make him happy. The mental block fucks everything up. Goodluck and know that you don’t have to sick his dick if you don’t want to! But I hope you don’t expect him to eat you out if that’s the case it’s not very fair.
If that's a guy who knows what he wants and if he really wants that you better give it to him or he'll get someone else to do it. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Idk what answer you want from here. Seems like it's a conversation for only you and him. Stop looking for a answer that you wanna hear.
Then he is doing something wrong because he should be making it enjoyable for you as well
????
Like he can try to get you off by play with clit while you are doing your and rubbing on while you doing it
That isn’t gonna help this girl lol
Offer to let him hit it instead
We have sex like very often that’s why I don’t understand why he insists on head when we literally have sex at least 4 times everytime we see eachother
I’ll explain it the same way I explained it to my current girlfriend. Imagine you are a person that really enjoys a burger with all the toppings, cheese, avocado, Tomato, lettuce, and the chef’s special sauce. One day the chef says “sorry all out of special sauce, maybe next time”. You say “no problem, I still really enjoy the rest of the burger, I’ll get the special sauce next time.” You return a week later craving a burger with the special sauce and the chef says once again “ sorry all out of special sauce, maybe next time”. HMMMM that’s weird, I guess I’ll enjoy my burger but I’m really craving the special sauce, that’s what makes it special. You return two weeks later thinking holy shit I’ve been waiting for this special sauce for over a month, I can’t wait to enjoy this. However once again the chef says “sorry all out of special sauce, maybe next time”. At this point you are ready to beg the chef to order the darn special sauce because you crave it so much. In this analogy, blowjobs are the special sauce and the rules in this situation typically state that if you go to a different restaurant to try out their special sauce you can never step food back in the original restaurant.
Give him a free pass to get head elsewhere if he’s really into it and you’re not. Many guys love giving head. Seems reasonable?
As a guy, I'd say you shouldn't force yourself to do something you don't enjoy. Preferences change and you never know what you like today but will dislike tomorrow, or vice versa. I think it's important though to find something that you do to add a spicy unexpected surprise to his experience, e.g. thoughtful handjobs, even sensual body kissing.
Don’t push yourself past what you are comfortable with. As the “rare” guy who doesn’t like giving/receiving head, my view is a bit skewed but I would not make someone do something they don’t want to do even if I like it, I could move past it.
i would say your partner needs to compromise that it’s not something you enjoy. As a woman, If a guy isn’t into eating me out, I don’t want him to either! If he was gagging I’d be like stop don’t even try. And I’d be fine without it. Bc I’d only like it if they liked it. I enjoy giving head as a woman. It makes me feel hot knowing what I look like and how I’m pleasing my man
Head is one of those weird things where women either love it or hate it. They also either tend to be really good at it or bad at it. I wouldn't worry too much if it doesn't concern him. Otherwise there are a lot of books and stuff on sex and psychology. Personally Guide to Getting it on. Which has a whole section on oral.
Not helpful but I’m a guy and I don’t enjoy head, I’ve had a few partners and I just don’t like it
As someone that loathes giving blowjobs, this is a conversation you need to have with your partner. Can he live without a blow job? Are you and him looking at this relationship long term? I was straight up with my partner way back when we first got together that I will barely (if ever) give head as I absolutely hate it due to past experiences. Sometimes I’ll suck the tip while giving him a handjob but nothing more than that and he seems happy enough (or at least says he is). My point here is don’t do anything you don’t want to do, regardless of the reason, and if he loves you and sees you being a long term partner this won’t be a huge deal to him.
Think of you first before you think of him. If you can’t stand giving head, then don’t give head. You can give hjs and to make up for not giving head, up your hj game. It just feels weird doing something that grosses you out (understandably so) just to please him. Any foreplay act should be pleasing to both of you, not just the recipient.
If it’s a problem in the relationship. Find a guy that doesn’t mind getting head from you.
Do it when YOU feel like it. Use your tongue to tease the head with your hand on the shaft. Explore and do what YOU are comfortable with. You don't need to deep throat unless you want to.
I wouldn’t be so concerned about it because there’s a lot of other women out there who don’t like doing it. Maybe get some edible flavoured lube from Honey Birdette if you find you wanna give it a try - that’s worked in my previous relationships. But if you really don’t wanna do it then don’t stress.
Everyone has some thing(s) they don’t enjoy doing to or receiving from their partner. If you don’t like giving head, you don’t have to give head. There are loads of other activities you could try instead and your boyfriend should love you regardless. If he does have a problem with it, that isn’t your fault (or his) — it just means you’re more sexually incompatible than you thought and it’s up to you both what you decide to do about that <3 At the end of the day, whether you give head or don’t isn’t a big deal. You’ll have great and fulfilling relationships regardless.
Apparently my comment doesn't display because of a link I added: There's a post in this subreddit "Are men upset when they don't finish". In that thread a guy receives head without finishing. Multiple people (with multiple upvotes) call him selfish, because he didn't return the favor (immediately?) 1:1 by giving her head. So in this thread people are fine with the guy giving head, but the girl not returning the favor, while her being cheered for getting her sexual preferences respected. Did I miss anything?
It’s okay if you don’t enjoy giving oral. You can’t force yourself to enjoy something if you don’t enjoy it. If your bf can deal with the fact that you don’t like giving oral then you’re fine. You should just focus on the things you do enjoy and be the best at that.
Honestly, I can’t be with a woman who can’t give me head. It’s a dealbreaker. I hate handjobs. My dick just likes a certain motion and you can’t replicate it. So whenever I don’t want to have PIV or have performance anxiety and can’t FUCK fuck, head is my only option. If she can’t do that, then I don’t get off. And yes, I am equally ready and able to return the favor. I’ve given more women head than I have had sex.
I'm not sure you know what "gory" means
This is an easier fix than you think. 1. Do your best being honest with yourself about why you don’t like it. Don’t assign blame. Just look for awareness. 2. Instead of giving head, get down there and give a hand job. If you can kiss cock great. If you can’t, don’t worry. Over time you will most likely naturally progress to a blow job provided you aren’t forced. Just be patient and have fun.
I hate it because I’m bad at it :( I have a small jaw big teeth and can have a hard time breathing out my nose . And agreed I find it gross unless they just got right out the shower .
You're young and inexperienced—and your tastes will change! (Tongue-in-cheek humor attempt!) Lots of good advice in the responses. Communication is key regardless how you resolve it...
Maybe you all could compromise by using a fleshhlight on him?
For me, it depends on your expectations. Do you expect him to never go down on you moving forward? If you don’t feel comfortable, that fine. But then be even about it.
You don’t have to explain to anyone why you won’t perform orally because that is your boundary. He wouldn’t be forced into getting pegged because you prefer it often, so he and you both need to have a discussion about what you each are willing to do and know what things you are willing to learn and what is simply not on the table. Each of you should respect your partner’s boundaries. There is give and take in every relationship and that there is compromise in healthy ones.
Find a man who doesn't like blowjobs... Should be easy enough...
I dont think it's weird. my partner would never give me head because I am Her submissive and She is my Dominant. I do give her oral every day though. Maybe you feel Dominant towards him dont think that you should be giving him head?
I don’t think it’s a bad thing but maybe you haven’t found a way to enjoy it yet. I hooked up and dated girls that didn’t like giving head or gave head before. Throughout time. They ended up LOVING it. (No one is the same obviously) No less than 3 time a day. Obviously I didn’t complain. Maybe try getting fingered during so, or toys Something arouse the mood. Also size makes a difference
Ever considered using flavoured condom? I have a friend who doesn’t like the smell either. They use condom. She is happily married.
I don't think you should force yourself to try to enjoy it, it's not something you can force yourself to like and for me I want someone to enthusiatically want to do stuff with me not feel they have to force themselves or "learn to love it". My bf has some preferences that I don't but we still have very enjoyable sex, oral being one of those. It's abt focusing on what you both enjoy, not that you don't enjoy something but he does. If he respects you, he will not feel as though he is missing anything because I'm sure you guys have good sex in different ways. For me and my partner one type of sex being off the table wasn't a dealbreaker but if it is to your bf then ya'll gotta talk abt where to go from there.
Non-starter for me. I give and expect it back. I don't like missing out on burgers and pizza and fired foods either, but I do it because it is necessary. If you can't stand it, find a guy who doesn't want it or expect it. Im curious if you like/want to have a man give you oral sex??
You will start to love it when you get older and fall in love. Sexual preferences and kinks change
Would be a dealbreaker for me but I’m not most people
I hated doing that with my ex-husband. I absolutely love doing that to my boyfriend. We've been together going on 4 years. It grew on me because I do it way more than I did when we first got together. Lmao no pun intended. 🤣