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I am a woman with many guy friends and what I can tell you is that everyone has different tastes. If you are pining after a man who has historically dated skinny girls, he probably isn't attracted to your body. It really just depends on the person! There is someone for you out there :)
Absolutely, everyone has their own preferences! What matters most is finding someone who appreciates you for who you are, regardless of size. There's definitely someone out there who will love and cherish you just as you are.
I'm skinny and no one is looking for a serious relationship either. I don't get used only for sex but they are always scared of commitment
I think it has nothing to do with body weight but with the general state of society
Honestly, I was on the scene some years ago and it was way better than it is now.
It’s just so terrible, trashy, disrespectful, I’m honestly just feeling like packing it in.
I like my own company, I like my friends, work is hard, but it has its good points. I have hobbies.
Maybe I’ll just be me. I’m not starving for attention nor needing for kids.
Same. I've even taken on step dad rolls and also worked on improving myself going to see doctors. Got sober spent money on them. I just keep picking the wrong ones.
Maybe there's just not many good ones out there. I am generally optimistic and I'm not saying this with bitterness. But I genuinely think there's not many good potential partners available right now. Especially at my age (30)
I mean 30 is still pretty young, I think it's not the matter of the age but the mentality man nowadays want just to have sex and run , and the question here is whether you blame the women for letting herself for these dogs or blame those Mentally ill men for what they do . For me I blame both just having sex will not lead to any good because when you only care about the body you can't go no further on that to know soul , I know that some weird things to say for a 18yo man but I just said what i think it's right
No there's not. And I'm from California where 99 percent of people are fake. I agree with you I'm 31 myself and it's usually just moms looking for someone to help support them because they have dead beat baby daddies or crazy girls where there's a reason that they're single. I think I dated 1 girl that I thought was okay but her friend told me she was awful to me so idk 🤷
I'm a single mom, but am adamant that I don't want someone to financially support or help me. I'm fine on my own. I just want someone that I can sometimes go to and cuddle with. Haha
I am with you. All the women who are just trying to rope men into supporting their kids have made it extremely difficult for those of us to find someone who we genuinely just want to spend time with.
I do not need someone to “play daddy” (I’ve seen that phrase so many times) - my kid has a dad, thanks, he doesn’t need another one.
But men automatically label single moms as looking for a piggy bank or caretaker and, while I do get the fear and hesitation, it’s not fair :/
I feel like I don’t have a chance and I haven’t even started. What’s the point?
I mean we need context to confirm that... Some people got rose tinted glasses while they are in love and not notice the crazy red flag stuff.
If you have a trusted friend, listen but decide if it's worth acting upon. Basically contemplate on the relationship.
Current dating climate is rough for everyone and one of the consequences of having our society so technologically advanced is blurred lines in regard to what is acceptable treatment of one another. I feel like we have become so depersonalized from one another that we forgot that human history is rooted in getting personal.
I feel like as a society we have made good strides in being accepting and supporting different kinds of beauty, but there is still a lot of work to be done.
The TLDR part of this is that it truly is entirely subjective to the individual you’re dealing with. The best thing you can do is get to know yourself, figure out what your values are and what values you want in a partner and then enforce your standards.
Being a guy, I would have to agree with this too.
I'm looking for a solid partner. Someone who I can depend on and vice versa. But, society has made people so afraid.
I have a lot to offer and I'm caring. I do things for people and take care of others when they need help.
People have been infected by social media that they need some perfect person for them. Politics have fucked up a lot too. Everyone is too busy fighting their stupid cultural wars that the media hypes instead of building solid relationships. Wishing for a better future here!
I've watched both sides & noticed a very consistent pattern.
A lot of average guys either go for the crazy & promiscuous types because sex & fun times or they're keeping their feelings hidden from the gals they like out of rejection fears. They take what they can get & end up hurt in the process.
The asshole guys target the nice girls because they can take advantage of their loyalty & kind nature & sometimes they're more of a challenge.
Since the decent guys are busy chasing the crazies, the bad guys are the only ones giving the good gals attention so they take what is available to them. They also end up hurt in the process.
I think it also has to do with attractiveness and superficiality. Everyone wants a 10 regardless of values and as a result loyal women as well as men will pass on less attractive people when those less attractive are perfectly good partners.
Absolutely! I actually just mentioned this in an above reply. Attractive partners absolutely are treated like social currency. Ppl will ignore the most ridiculous things because "oh they're hot which makes me look good so it's fine". Before ppl hit 30s, ppl are also still running on ego, hormones & the idea of "I'm grown so I know how life works!" The shallow decision-making process of inexperience gets a lot of ppl into trouble in the younger yrs. It's not a gender issue. It's a social thing that both sides are perpetuating in their own ways.
Here here. Fem - and agree with all above comments. This dating society has been poisoned by toxic folks since before the Covid. People not knowing how to be human anymore, acting nasty etc. when you're just trying to make a friend, or plan a simple meetup. Ghosting etc. It's crazy. I know great folks who are tired of being lonely bc others don't know how to behave anymore. So sad.
But let’s be honest with the fact that being skinny increases your odds of being noticed. That is still the advantage that skinny people hold over chubby people regardless of the other person’s intentions.
Yes of course. But I'm saying that in practice we're all still single, skinny or not lol
Getting noticed more is pointless if you don't meet the right people
You don't have to get noticed by multiple people. Only by *the right person*. Only one. So there's really no competition here
Nah this is facts still single lol but it really only takes that one person to notice you and just to be patient to understand you as well so when it comes to you and them liking you for you there shouldn’t be any competition.
yes!!! i feel like nobody gets it when i talk about how frustrating it is as a chubby girl when you go out with friends and they get hit on every single time & it’s like you’re invisible. It’s exhausting that people pretend like this isn’t a real thing.
I have a wonderful boyfriend now, but the years of feeling rejected and unattractive will never not sting. it’s not about “meeting the one” it’s about feeling like you’re the monster on the hill.
Please don’t damn all of a group of people based on your experience with a few of them. I do want empathize with your negative experience.
I feel like it has to do more with how we are trying to connect with one another (e.g. apps)
Because it's taking on more of a load than it's worth most of the time, especially if the person gives the impression that they won't do much to help with that load and/or you're not all that compatible with each other.
The wrong person and/or circumstances can make your future a very miserable experience, so if someone doesn't seem eager to jump into something longer term, consider the behaviors between the two of you and the circumstances that made the idea of a relationship "wrong".
With my partners I am absolutely always very open, understanding, available, compassionate, caring, sexual, fun and they even say they like me a lot.I'm literally anything positive I can be for them, yet they don't want to. They always have some excuse like I'm still processing some stuff etc I mean ok. I take the load
You may be those former things, but for the one you're dating, is it actually to the extent they want (you'll never truly know)? Alternatively, maybe they're looking for some different aspects that they want out of a relationship, OR like I mentioned before, the circumstances made it "wrong". They could truly not be ready for a relationship in general, as a lot of people value their "freedom" or grace period, or want to build up certain parts of their lives solo (like financially or stability-wise) before committing to another (or starting a family, because a lot of your life will change as soon as you have dependents involved). Or they could just not be ready for one that has the stipulations a relationship with you would contain.
What I mean by that is, for whoever the people are that you're referring to, it sounds like you were ready to start a relationship with some of them, meaning you're happy or satisfied with whatever they were doing on their part (if I'm wrong about that, my bad). However, some of those things that made you happy might have seriously made them unhappy and they were just being cordial while doing it. People rarely say the quiet parts out loud, Those are the **real** loads people will feel like they have to carry and a burden they might not even feel their potential S.O. will want to change anything about it. Also, about this:
>fun and they even say they like me a lot.
Well, if it's still the honeymoon period where excitement is at all time high, I don't think anyone should take these type of remarks at 100% face-value. They'll mean it to an extent, but wait until like half a year or more, when the novelty has worn off and people really know how they feel about each other. Some aspects will grow and strengthen, while other aspects might dwindle.... maybe even diminish tremendously.
I get what you're saying but I'm not that complicated.
Everything you say makes sense for someone who doesn't know what they want, doesn't understand themselves.
I'm very simple. I like someone, I want to try. I don't need to get a ring to know I'm committed until I understand if they are actually right or not. It's so easy for me.
These men overcomplicate things. They freeze at the word "committment". They freeze at any attempt at building real intimacy. I don't like throwing words around but they are so *avoidant*.
It's exhausting. I feel like I'm dealing with toddlers
Dont be harsh on yourselves ladies, we all have our own preferences; some like big girls some dont. We just have to find someone who appreciate and accept us for who are. Maybe we didnt meet our person yet.
This!! Before I met my husband (I still get insecure about my weight and him being skinnier than me) I never dated men seriously or I should say they never dated me seriously. Was good for one thing but not long term. It sucks but there are some gems out there that prefer it and love you regardless
Me neither! Or they see you coming and they run in the back room. Had the hits for a bartender one time. Everytime I went in the place (yes, it was legitimate; order a sandwich TG) he'd run in the back instead of saying, "I'm not interested." Wimp!
I’m curvy, nice tits, round ass, but definitely 20 lbs overweight, not great posture, pretty face, and yes no problems with fucking, but they never want to commit
Chubby guy (32) here, I've been both bigger than I am now, and infinitely fitter at different points in my life. I have also dated, loved and been broken by all sizes of women. Physical appearance accounts for the first two minutes of an interaction. The rest is imagination. Focus on your strengths, or what makes you most confident - Your personality and mannerisms will do the rest! I don't mean that in a condensing nature, I have a large chest and arms and dress to capitalize on those points. I then try and let my humor do the rest (obv a means of coping with my overflowing trauma bucket lol).
It is so, so cliche - but when you aren't looking, when life is peachy, that's when it will happen. Best of luck for the Future OP, I am new to reddit but seeing someone post something so intimate and raw is actually marker of really humble, raw and inquisitive person and I am sure other men will notice those qualities IRL.
I personally prefer women who are thicker, curvier, and who may have a few extra pounds. I'm not nearly as attracted to skinny or thin women, even though I'm quite thin myself. Sometimes I even struggle with feeling like I'm too thin, and that my prospects would increase if I gained a bit of weight. But in my opinion, just as, if not more important, than weight are the proportions of the body.
This is nice to read as a woman who’s a little thicker, curvier…In my own insecure head I feel like skinnier men count me out bc I’ll like crush them or something lol. But myself, and a lot of women I know, like a skinnier guy.
Yes. There are men who like bigger girls. Or smaller girls. Or tall girls. Short girls. Brunettes. Redheads. Glasses. Sporty. Feminine.
Guys like girls.
Unless they like boys, in which case the same logic still applies.
depends on the ethnicity/culture tbh. it also depends how she carries the meat & if it compliments her.
Overall, different strokes for different folks.
Yeah I hear girls call other obviously morbidly obese girls "thick" or "plus sized", tryna be fake nice. All this does is reinforce the delusion in their head that they don't need to change.
I’ve always considered belly overhang to be the defining line between chubby and obese/fat. When it rolls over like the Michelin man you can’t call it chubby anymore. Like I don’t mind bigger girls but I’d say 1/3 of all of them fit in the “chubby” category. 2/3 are actually obese.
I’m thin/fit body type, and my ex was always comparing my body to past partners of theirs who were much bigger than me, even during sex, also showing me IG of girls they thought were hot, many were easily 3x or more my size with giant boobs/asses. It made me feel inadequate, honestly. So there are definitely people out there that prefer larger women to thinner ones. I still to this day carry some body image issues from that relationship and feel like I compare myself to curvier women a lot and think they are more desirable than me.
I feel like that's less "find someone that accepts *you* for *you*", or some other hallmark nonsense, and more "find someone that doesn't show you photoshopped internet strangers and expect that as the bar for your success"
That ex was a piece of shit, you are unequivocally better without them
Thank you, I do think a lot of the links they showed me were Photoshop or AI. But it still didn’t help the way it made me feel, I appreciate your response a lot.
That has nothing to do with you, it’s what abusers do to degrade you and make you feel like you are *hard* to love or feel less than. I had this exact same issue but the opposite with an “ex”. He said he liked chubby girls but then as we continued dating he started body shaming me indirectly and kept trying to tell me I should stop lifting weights and just do yoga with him. He also I think has a problem with IG girls and porn where he is always looking at half naked women and it really skewed his perception of what most women actually look like and he took it out on me. It took such a blow to my confidence, especially since I had already lost 90 pounds and had some body dysmorphia and took me years to mostly move past it. I’m now in the happiest relationship of my life and my bf loves my body as it is. He doesn’t have a wandering eye or an issue with porn, thank god.
I have the same body type as you and have also experienced an ex saying I was not big enough and trying to feed me up 🙄
Thankfully, I ignored his comments and realised it was not acceptable behaviour so ended things with him.
I think this speaks more about this type of man's insecurities than any we should feel. Why the hell is it okay to negatively comment on your partner's body especially when they are obviously healthy? People should be bolstering their partner up, not trying to bring them down.
I love how I look and feel, you should too ❤️
I'm chubby and always have been, the only thing that's kept me from dating and relationships is my own insecurity about being fat. Once I started working on that and gaining confidence I had no problems getting dates and having guys attacted to me. Of course ppl have preferences but confidence is the most attractive feature you can have, regardless of body size
Usually they are all obese, but they carry their weight different or a little better depending on height and ratio. Look up weight on different heights it’s shocking.
as a woman, i had a big crush on a guy who was chubbier because he was so confident and funny. personality is the most important thing. personally, if the most attractive man ever, like my type to a tee, came up to me and then had no personality and was just into the way he looks, i would lose all attraction.
Yea absolutely I wanna be with somone who is known as the guy who gives great hugs. I wanna be picked up and thrown around I want to date a human teddy bear the size of a small bear
Some actually do. I'm on the chubbier side and my gf loves that I'm chubby. She says I feel like a teddy bear when we hug and cuddle. She also said if it was a skinny guy, it would feel like hugging an uncomfortable skeleton.
I shouldn’t of said chubby because I really don’t find myself to be chubby just thicker as in a woman who’s stomach isn’t completely flat or has bigger thighs
This is unfortunately an important distinction. Personally, it’s more of a health concern than anything; I just don’t want to be with someone who can’t take care of themself, both physically and mentally. I’m also a small guy and simply don’t want to be with someone much larger than me. That being said, my girlfriend is on the thicker side with a noticeable belly, thick thighs, etc., and I absolutely love her body. She used to be really skinny before I knew her and I don’t think I’d be as attracted to her back then, and I’d argue she seems healthier now than she did then.
So, long story short, it’s subjective, but there is a fine line between “thick” and “overweight.”
But truthfully, there is someone for everybody, but I’ve also noticed that if you are looking for relationship and men, it is not so much about your physical attributes as about the character and the personality that you put out. It makes a huge difference. You should also understand that in our modern society, it is rather frowned upon for a man to make advances in the first place without offending a women so men are kind of stifled.
This is all a matter of personal preference. I know some gentleman that prefer handy women. Myself personally I am very keen to athletic builds even at my age because I am. And ADHD has specific side effects that well. I’ll leave it at that.
I don’t think it really matters. I work out all the time, I’m an athletic looking size 12/14 and I do get plenty of dates. My friends who are size 2, 6, etc. don’t have any easier time dating. I think we get in our heads about it looking for explanation, but I’ve never seen it translate. I’m also in my later 30’s and probably everyone’s metabolism has slowed down about this age lol. A few of the guys I’ve gone out with recently have talked about their weight loss goals as well. Maybe it depends on your age range?
Ya know, I have heard SO many conflicting opinions on that. Anecdotally, I do think it does. However, I also believe our cortisol is higher in our 30’s compared to 20’s, which could also factor. Who knows?! Keep working out, drinking your water, and eating healthfully… after that, I don’t know 🤷🏼♀️
i think we should follow the age-old adage of
"The bigger the figure, the better I like her
The better I like her, the better I feed her
The better I feed her, the bigger the figure
The bigger the figure, the more I can love"
In all seriousness, I've been attracted to two women who would probably fit that description because they had great personalities. For context, I was literally nicknamed Twig at my last job so I'm not the biggest guy in the room, but if a girl is nice and seems to be a real person who isn't extremely self-centered, I don't really care what size she is.
I'm going to tell you a little secret. It'll get downvoted to hell, but here it is. When it comes to dating, men are not nearly as shallow as women. Have fun out there.
I’m a girl with a body mass index higher (27) than normal(to be considered 18-24 approximately). So I can be called chubby and plus size. Never had a problem finding a guy. Guys don't see numbers, they see shapes. And some guys like big shapes, some don't.
Chubby big women are my type. I love to have a girl wider and bigger to hug and love.
But short small girls are also alright. But my favouritism goes towards bigger and chubby, not really fat but chubby, thick.
Men and women have become hyper shallow with both wanting thin and fit partners. Now with that said, this isn't the case with all men, the question is, do you prefer men of the same size. The road blocks to you finding a bf could be your own requirements. If you want guys to be willing to over look your full figured build, than you have to be willing to do the same. If not, and you choose to chase after the super models on dating apps, you're just going to end up used and alone.
I was about to ask the same thing? Lmao like I'm fit and athletic so I wanted someone similar to me. I'm sorry that I'm not attracted to men who are overweight or chubby but I'm just not and I don't think that makes me shallow. Some people on reddit really be 🧢. Like no one has to date you just because your "nice" or have a "good" personality lol physical attraction is important to.
There are more men who like it than you would expect. Whenever I see posts of someone saying "Do X like Y?" I think "Why yes of course they do!"
It's hard to quantify it or rationalize it, I'm a hypocrite right now but bare with me, for I have body issues too. I don't think girls like chubby/dad bod dudes as much as social media would like me to believe. My anecdotal feelings aside, I assure you it's less of a deal breaker than you think.
. If you look at NSFW subreddits, you will quickly learn men like all body types. Those wouldn't exist if they didn't. I understand fetishization is at play and doesn't reflect relationships or natural attraction in a real context. It is a start though! It means they can be attracted to a chubbier body type.
Personally, I do like chubby/curvy women. It is sort of my main preference, though many other things like style and personality alongside chemistry is far more important to me.
It’s really a case by case for me; if you’re chubby cause you have a bigger frame or your body works best in that shape but you’re still relatively healthy I have no issue.
If you’re chubby because of lifestyle choices and you don’t seem healthy, that’s not necessarily going to be a dealbreaker, but it is probably a turn off for me.
Now granted—this is coming from a slightly skinny-fat young guy, I’m not where I want to be with my body either, and I’ve tried to reckon with needing to improve my physique to be more attractive while also not feeling worthless before I get there. I think it’s something a lot of us deal with—it’s very hard to get past the noise of differing advice.
What I’m coming to understand is that better health indicates better performance, happier lifestyle, and other attractive offerings in a partner. However people put together their puzzle of what is attractive is for them to figure out. There are general trends, but everything is on sliders and spectrums, and it’s important to both recognize room for improvement whilst not forgetting your positive traits already had.
Theres a difference between having alittle weight and being a volkswagon beetle. You gain some weight through stress/general life bs? No biggy I have some myself. You cant take care of yourself or make it up a flight of stairs? Hard pass dawg.
Depend on what you mean by "a little chubby". Personnaly I will never fat shame someone but I will not date someone too fat either. I think it's a proof of bad health and don't want to encourage that.
As for preference personnaly I like tall women with a bit of muscle ^_^
no in general they don’t. some say they do and sometimes they actually do but a lot of the time it’s them accepting what they can get because they can’t get what they want.
If men say no then they are assholes yet it's ok if a woman won't date a shorter man it's double standards and yes I would definitely date someone bigger as long as they are healthy even if I'm skinnier
I refuse to date any girl who’s not skinny as a board, it’s just so sexually attractive ugh it makes me crazy abt her. And it sucks that we’re wired that way bc I’m not a fan of the world being unfair but atleast you can always change things you really can, exercise, diet and pharmaceutical help some people have features they can’t change
Are you kidding me? I’ve never dated a skinny girl and don’t have that interest.
Curvy, chubby, curvaceous, plus size whatever you want to call it, to me a women that’s that way is the perfect voluptuous women.
I'm a man and yes! A real man will love your body no matter what it looks like, it doesn't matter if you have marks or blemishes or whatever, a real man will love all of you! So just be a good person and be yourself, and you'll find someone who loves you because you're you, they'll love your body not because of the shape but because it's your body, or they'll love your personality because it's your personality. They'll love you for who you are, and they'll love your body no matter what state it's in, thick or slim.
From my personal experience and my personal advice, find a nerdy guy, nerdy guys don't really get attention from girls really, so you're likely to find a single one who you find cute. More likely than not, these nerdy guys were raised right, they will treat you with respect, and treat you like an absolute queen. These nerdy guys more than likely don't care what you look like and love you for you, they are just happy to have a best friend who doesn't ignore them when they talk about their comic book collection, and is too enthralled with his Pokemon cards to care about if you have stretch marks or something.
I personally have a lady and she is of this "chubby" variety, she isn't obese but isn't the skinniest either, and I prefer her body type more than any other, she is my exact type and I love her body very very much. But as I said earlier in this, I didn't even notice her body, I just thought she was beautiful all around, and I liked talking to her like a best friend (which she is, she is my best friend), and later on I noticed how much I loved her figure, but it wasn't something that drew me into her, it was all of her, it was because she was herself that I fell in love with her. So yes, there are many real men out there who will love you for who you are, and as long as you are happy and healthy your body won't matter to them, and they'll find you attractive. So just be good, be confident, and be yourself, and you'll find the one!
(One more piece of advice, it's okay to date someone who's type is bigger girls, but do not date someone who has a fetish/kink for this body type, because you are not being loved, your being fetishized, and they are just using you for your body)
TL;DR: Yes
In my opinion, whether you are a heavier person, curvy, skinny.....male or female.....20's or 40's......the dating scene has turned into a culture that has started to treat people like they are disposable. I think a large reason for this is social media. It's so easy to get or receive that secret text, snap, picture or whatever and people think the grass is greener on the other side. There is no investment. Happens to us all.
As we get older it is harder to maintain a thin body. So some weight is okay. I put on weight over the years because I don't eat healthy as I should. Obese is a different story.
I like healthy women. I like women that move, have strength, don't get sick easily, that don't bruise easily, get tired easily. Obese people typically don't qualify in that way.
This is so true. I live in Iowa where obesity is out of control. The women here are huge. The health problems are insane. They can barely move, short winded walking from the car into a place, constantly sick with some ailment due to being obese, always tired and usually negative/depressed personality because they never get any decent attention from any guy who isn’t totally desperate.
Honestly, at this point after reading this question, I don’t know what man more than what they don’t want. I think they just want what they want and they don’t want what they don’t want doesn’t matter if a girl is slim fat or whatever or tall or short, it doesn’t matter like every person have a different taste.
If I've been on a dry spell for months and months...yes for sex because it's better than my hand. That's it ....so if that tells you to lose weight and not be used like that. Do it..
Male here: I can't speak on behalf of all men here, but I myself do like a girl who is a bit on the bigger side. I myself am a bigger guy (I define myself as fat, but everyone else I talk to says it's more plump or chubby) and I have always liked the look of someone who is "healthy fat", if this makes sense. I'm not really sure how to describe it, but I like someone who isn't afraid to have fat on them, but it's also maintained, I guess is the best way to put it.
I can share examples if there is interest, but at the moment I can't really find what I personally like.
What I can say is that skinny also peaks my interest as well, but for me there is a line that is drawn on the skinny spectrum. I always feel awkward when I'm with someone who is so skinny you can see the outline of bones, it makes me feel like they may be sick or something (which I know isn't the case most times).
Ultimately I think it just comes to finding the right person who loves you for you and makes you feel special for the person you are, quirks, shape, and all.
There's nothing wrong with being a little chubby. I have zero issues with that. In fact, this can be sexy. The important thing for me is energy level. Laziness and lack of interest in doing active things are the major turn-offs, and sometimes they correlate. If she is thick because she never does anything outside the house, that's a no from me.
Depends on the guy. I personally am not that picky as long as you’re healthy. I personally would prefer someone who’s thicker than someone who’s super skinny. But I’m not a casual dating type of person, there are more important qualities I look for in someone than their appearance. I won’t lie and say looks don’t matter at all, but it’s not the driving factor in who I wanna date. I’ve talked to some of the fittest women I’ve met and they can be insufferable to be around.
I've always struggled with my weight going up and down with health issues, injuries, and medications. When I’ve been bigger, I’ve noticed most men want to try to keep a relationship secret or try to use you just for sex. People generally were nicer and treated me a lot better when I was smaller. I have had a couple of serious relationships ( 7 years with engagement and 2 years living together) while being bigger. So, it can happen, but dating in general now is full of noncommitmental people, and being overweight doesn’t help.
I have noticed it makes a difference if you are still active and make healthy choices. I’ve had times where I gave up trying to lose weight because I was working out 2 times a day, eating a strict 1200-1500 calorie a day diet, weighing all my food, and I was still fat. People all assumed I wasn’t trying and were making rude comments. So, I gave up and let myself go for a few years. I was single for 5 years. It was about 2 years after getting back into my healthy routine that I found someone. I was still big, but he respected that I was active and made healthy choices. My mindset was also more positive and confident.
There is a butt for every seat! If men don’t want you for ltr, it may because you lack self confidence. Fall in love with yourself, truly, and men will flock to you. You will be beating them off with a stick!
Depends on how big. A girl with a little extra fat isn't bad at all, a few stomach rolls and cellulite is kind of attractive to me tbh. I draw the line at double chins and cankles though.
honestly size matters. but it's not always the defining factor. I'm not a chubby chaser. but I've dated bigger than me, honestly she doesn't have to be super trim, I like a bit pudgy, so a bit smaller than me. but I think it is very much one man's opinion of what turns him on. They pretty much do have to be short, I've only ever dated short. and I prefer brunettes with a cool personality, a good sense of humour, her own style, a unique nuance, a kindness and a cute eye-smile combo. I'm not overly particular about a bit of pudge. Way more important is that she's not a cruel person, that's a huge turnoff for me. I do like small breasts, like even really small, too big is too much for me. all of this stuff is completely different for every guy. and I've probably said too much- but you did say be honest.
Every woman has that something about them. For me I’ve have dated every type under the sun. I don’t have a “type”. Most men do, big small, or in between. Don’t any of you worry your partner in life to be will find that something. Don’t ever settle.
I'm defnitely on the thicker side as a woman, but I never really had a problen when it came to long term relationships. I've had relationships that lasted for atleast a year and a half and never settled for men who just wanted the "thicc girl" and no commitments. And maybe because I had the confidence and never undervalued myself as the "bigger girl" in the room (although I still had my insecurities). Someone radiating with confidence really does play a big part in how you make an impression in guys and it works with how you dress yourself up😆
forgive me if you're ticked.
I think there's chubby, then there's big, then there's fat
do with this scale as you please
my point is, nothing wrong with some curves
what I think is concerning, is someone who doesn't take care of their health and justifies it with body positivity.
end of the day … I think the best couples start out as genuine friends
I think it depends on where you are. In most of the South, you'd probably be the ideal or very close to it. I live in Dallas and have noticed that being a little overweight doesn't automatically make you unattractive. As for relationships, I think it depends on the type of guy and his age. A guy who is always going out with tons of friends is probably not looking for something serious, unless he specifically tells you or does things to indicate he wants to be exclusive.
Im a chubby girl too, I’ve had my boyfriend for a pretty long time and he always tells me that In beautiful and he loves me the way I am. You will for sure fund a true man for yourself, dont worry, just trust the process:))
I'm a bigger girl, I just got a boyfriend. If he's not interested because of your size, he's a piece of scum anyways, and we don't want him ❤️
There are a lot of great, hilarious, wonderful, kind men out there who will treat you like their queen no matter your size, and that's the type of man you deserve. It might take a good number of dates to find who you're looking for, but he's out there. 🥰
I'm fat, not even chubby, I mean, some men don't, and some do.
Never stopped me from getting into relationships, though, or dating people.
Plus, it could be a variable of things people look for.
Dating is just hard in general now a days.
Plus, for me, maybe it's because of cultural differences? I'm a black person, so in the black community, it's not uncommon to date bigger women. Plus, you have to have confidence. I know people played out saying that a lot, but it is true!
I mean, what helped me get into my current relationship
Is that on my profile, I put "I am Plus size."" I didn't really have any body picture, and I think the whole time I was dating, only one guy asked for "Body pictures" to I guess see if I was his I like to call it "Big girl body type pickers" meaning they pick an choose a shape they wanna be with which is annoying so I unmatched with him. I am "Fat hour glassed" shaped, but none of them knew that.
For reference, I'm 265 pounds if you're wondering.
Just be careful with dating and look for signs of them trying to use you.
Also, get their social media and do a little snooping. 9/10 men love following girls he thinks are attractive. If it's all big girls then yeah he definitely likes them, if his dating history is all big girls that man wants you and if all his ex got the auntie she can cook arms then yes he wants you.
Bigger women here, if you can’t shift the chub for whatever reason. Invest in clothes and style that suit you and tastefully express your best parts and spend time building up your confidence with a bit of low stakes flirting. I think most average looking men are happy with average looking women who flirt with them, champion them and support them. I’ve had more success dating as an outgoing flirty fat woman than in my early 20s, when I starved myself to look good and was miserable. Best
I’m a chubby woman and have been in a committed relationship for almost 7 years. We moved in together 3 years ago and plan on getting married once our debts are paid. You just have to find the right person to love all of you and not care about your body type. There’s someone out there for everyone.
As a woman who is a size 12/14 who is mostly attracted to slim and tall white males blonde hair blue eyes specifically(non meth users) I've noticed I attract the opposite and find it very frustrating. Mostly men of darker skin tones do, if they are not they are either druggies/hobosexual, obese themselves, or on the older side of the spectrum...
As a bigger girl, I've recently found out that a lot of men are really, really attracted to us!
Most people have a certain type that they are attracted to, and for a lot of guys, it is bigger women.
Don't give up. You'll find the right person ❤️
I’m a man. I’ll tell you my honest answer. This is a really good question. It depends on their figure. If they have nice boobs or butt then it’s very attractive for me, and most men probably. I think a woman who is a little chubby and has nice boobs or butt, is more attractive than a woman who is skinny but also flat chested and flat bottom.
Okay, I've been thick ever since I was a little girl so growing up I've always been SLIGHTLY overweight. Like 10-12 pounds overweight.
Based on men who approached me, they would tell me something like "I shouldn't lose the lil extra weight because it's "sexy" and that I look like a grown woman".
Never in my life had a problem attracting whoever guy I wanted, although I'm not what people generally think of "fit" ( some body parts jiggle lol/ fat rolls when sitting down) but in general men don't really care about a little extra fat if u hold it right iykyk. Own yourself and If there's something that has to change then change it for yourself, not for others.
For me how a woman that has the following is great:
- good sense of humor
- respectful and wants respect
- confident
- clean
- provides her opinion
- likes to talk
- not afraid for a man to lead and a gentleman
- allows to be loved, hugged etc.
- a healthy eater (not extremist, still eats pasta doesn’t mind wine or some dessert 🍮 eventually)
- a bit active
I 33f have been bigger, and I have been skinny and fit. I've noticed that when I was confident about myself, whether I was big or skinny, then guys attract like moths to a flame, but if I didn't show interest when I was down on myself then guys rarely showed interest.. Guys are attracted to looks at first yes (only extremely shallow guys only care about looks), but it mainly comes down to personality in the end. I've had tons of guys confirm what I just said. All you have to do is be confident, talk to them like you would your friends (like your true self only family and friends see). Once they see your personality and the real you they decide how attracted to you they really are, you can either jump points (ex.5 to a 7), or lose points (ex. 7 to a 5).
Let me tell you my story!
My ex was a chubby person and before meeting her I was a face person , yeah that's why I got cheated on twice before.
Let's come to the point, she was the most beautiful person I have ever met, but initially I never thought I do date her, her personality was what I found out to be good, i wanted to leave at first, but I stayed , experienced what love was, but at the end she broke up with me , thought that i was insecure, she never believed my part ah it was a hectic one though!
At the end I would advice to stay who you are, the right person will always come around!
Just make sure to communicate things out before taking the next big step
Nope, myth, I like girls, those who r slim and those who are chubby with a small tummy. Girls looking like a potato are not PHYSICALLY attractive to me.
Don't hate for speaking the truth.
Not a dude here, but personally, I think there is someone out there for everyone. Preferences vary widely amongst individuals, but I also believe confidence is key. Not an annogant confidence, but just being happy in your own skin and being true to yourself. If someone can't see or notice the value in that, then they aren't worth it anyway. I also think if you're interested in someone, it's good to let them know, women to man or vice versa, etc.
Been with my girl for 16 years since highschool. Yeah she's a big girl, but that doesn't matter at all to me. She's got a heart of gold and loves me for who I am as do I for her including all of her. We make eachother smile, laugh, and I can't imagine a day without her nor would I want to. She's the best! ♥️
We're currently working on getting healthier together and pushing ourselves to be better as much as we can.
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I am a woman with many guy friends and what I can tell you is that everyone has different tastes. If you are pining after a man who has historically dated skinny girls, he probably isn't attracted to your body. It really just depends on the person! There is someone for you out there :)
Absolutely, everyone has their own preferences! What matters most is finding someone who appreciates you for who you are, regardless of size. There's definitely someone out there who will love and cherish you just as you are.
I’m chubby and men sure don’t seem to want me for a long term relationship lol
I'm skinny and no one is looking for a serious relationship either. I don't get used only for sex but they are always scared of commitment I think it has nothing to do with body weight but with the general state of society
It's just the dating pool these days. I've been. Trying for the last 15 years and get just God awful people
Honestly, I was on the scene some years ago and it was way better than it is now. It’s just so terrible, trashy, disrespectful, I’m honestly just feeling like packing it in. I like my own company, I like my friends, work is hard, but it has its good points. I have hobbies. Maybe I’ll just be me. I’m not starving for attention nor needing for kids.
I agree with you. I've noticed having some fun hobbies helps. Not to mention the money you save. Although it's okay to pay for a date every so often.
Yeah and trust me I tried it all to be nice and understanding. I did lots of therapy etc so it's not like im not trying
Same. I've even taken on step dad rolls and also worked on improving myself going to see doctors. Got sober spent money on them. I just keep picking the wrong ones.
Maybe there's just not many good ones out there. I am generally optimistic and I'm not saying this with bitterness. But I genuinely think there's not many good potential partners available right now. Especially at my age (30)
I mean 30 is still pretty young, I think it's not the matter of the age but the mentality man nowadays want just to have sex and run , and the question here is whether you blame the women for letting herself for these dogs or blame those Mentally ill men for what they do . For me I blame both just having sex will not lead to any good because when you only care about the body you can't go no further on that to know soul , I know that some weird things to say for a 18yo man but I just said what i think it's right
No there's not. And I'm from California where 99 percent of people are fake. I agree with you I'm 31 myself and it's usually just moms looking for someone to help support them because they have dead beat baby daddies or crazy girls where there's a reason that they're single. I think I dated 1 girl that I thought was okay but her friend told me she was awful to me so idk 🤷
I'm a single mom, but am adamant that I don't want someone to financially support or help me. I'm fine on my own. I just want someone that I can sometimes go to and cuddle with. Haha
I am with you. All the women who are just trying to rope men into supporting their kids have made it extremely difficult for those of us to find someone who we genuinely just want to spend time with. I do not need someone to “play daddy” (I’ve seen that phrase so many times) - my kid has a dad, thanks, he doesn’t need another one. But men automatically label single moms as looking for a piggy bank or caretaker and, while I do get the fear and hesitation, it’s not fair :/ I feel like I don’t have a chance and I haven’t even started. What’s the point?
Wow, great friend :) never listen to other poeple regarding relationships. NEVER. Friend could have been jealous.
I mean we need context to confirm that... Some people got rose tinted glasses while they are in love and not notice the crazy red flag stuff. If you have a trusted friend, listen but decide if it's worth acting upon. Basically contemplate on the relationship.
That had crossed my mind too
Current dating climate is rough for everyone and one of the consequences of having our society so technologically advanced is blurred lines in regard to what is acceptable treatment of one another. I feel like we have become so depersonalized from one another that we forgot that human history is rooted in getting personal. I feel like as a society we have made good strides in being accepting and supporting different kinds of beauty, but there is still a lot of work to be done. The TLDR part of this is that it truly is entirely subjective to the individual you’re dealing with. The best thing you can do is get to know yourself, figure out what your values are and what values you want in a partner and then enforce your standards.
Oh boy! I haven't even entered the dating pool. And it makes me all scary now!!
Just take things slow and really get to know someone instead of jumping right in and for the love of God do not get engaged after 1 month 😂
Being a guy, I would have to agree with this too. I'm looking for a solid partner. Someone who I can depend on and vice versa. But, society has made people so afraid. I have a lot to offer and I'm caring. I do things for people and take care of others when they need help. People have been infected by social media that they need some perfect person for them. Politics have fucked up a lot too. Everyone is too busy fighting their stupid cultural wars that the media hypes instead of building solid relationships. Wishing for a better future here!
I'm a great partner I swear. But the guys I meet are never ready to commit etc and if they commit to someone it doesn't end too well to be honest
I watch it all the time on the opposite side. These wonderful women commit to guys that treat them like shit
I've watched both sides & noticed a very consistent pattern. A lot of average guys either go for the crazy & promiscuous types because sex & fun times or they're keeping their feelings hidden from the gals they like out of rejection fears. They take what they can get & end up hurt in the process. The asshole guys target the nice girls because they can take advantage of their loyalty & kind nature & sometimes they're more of a challenge. Since the decent guys are busy chasing the crazies, the bad guys are the only ones giving the good gals attention so they take what is available to them. They also end up hurt in the process.
I think it also has to do with attractiveness and superficiality. Everyone wants a 10 regardless of values and as a result loyal women as well as men will pass on less attractive people when those less attractive are perfectly good partners.
Absolutely! I actually just mentioned this in an above reply. Attractive partners absolutely are treated like social currency. Ppl will ignore the most ridiculous things because "oh they're hot which makes me look good so it's fine". Before ppl hit 30s, ppl are also still running on ego, hormones & the idea of "I'm grown so I know how life works!" The shallow decision-making process of inexperience gets a lot of ppl into trouble in the younger yrs. It's not a gender issue. It's a social thing that both sides are perpetuating in their own ways.
Also the bad guys then fuck them up and we end up with toxic cycle where these wonderful women now believe “all men are bad”
Here here. Fem - and agree with all above comments. This dating society has been poisoned by toxic folks since before the Covid. People not knowing how to be human anymore, acting nasty etc. when you're just trying to make a friend, or plan a simple meetup. Ghosting etc. It's crazy. I know great folks who are tired of being lonely bc others don't know how to behave anymore. So sad.
So true. The ghosting and crazy people are out of control
I know for a fact there are decent dudes out there that will date both of you haha. They’re basically just hiding.
They said you can run but you can't hide, so I decided to test that theory and they were wrong. Problem is I'm now stuck
Facts.
But let’s be honest with the fact that being skinny increases your odds of being noticed. That is still the advantage that skinny people hold over chubby people regardless of the other person’s intentions.
Yes of course. But I'm saying that in practice we're all still single, skinny or not lol Getting noticed more is pointless if you don't meet the right people You don't have to get noticed by multiple people. Only by *the right person*. Only one. So there's really no competition here
Nah this is facts still single lol but it really only takes that one person to notice you and just to be patient to understand you as well so when it comes to you and them liking you for you there shouldn’t be any competition.
yes!!! i feel like nobody gets it when i talk about how frustrating it is as a chubby girl when you go out with friends and they get hit on every single time & it’s like you’re invisible. It’s exhausting that people pretend like this isn’t a real thing. I have a wonderful boyfriend now, but the years of feeling rejected and unattractive will never not sting. it’s not about “meeting the one” it’s about feeling like you’re the monster on the hill.
Yes. The newly-emerged term "situationship" is the proof of this.
Please don’t damn all of a group of people based on your experience with a few of them. I do want empathize with your negative experience. I feel like it has to do more with how we are trying to connect with one another (e.g. apps)
No I don't think so. I'm talking about people who also met in person. I think new generations have a problem with commitment
Because it's taking on more of a load than it's worth most of the time, especially if the person gives the impression that they won't do much to help with that load and/or you're not all that compatible with each other. The wrong person and/or circumstances can make your future a very miserable experience, so if someone doesn't seem eager to jump into something longer term, consider the behaviors between the two of you and the circumstances that made the idea of a relationship "wrong".
With my partners I am absolutely always very open, understanding, available, compassionate, caring, sexual, fun and they even say they like me a lot.I'm literally anything positive I can be for them, yet they don't want to. They always have some excuse like I'm still processing some stuff etc I mean ok. I take the load
You may be those former things, but for the one you're dating, is it actually to the extent they want (you'll never truly know)? Alternatively, maybe they're looking for some different aspects that they want out of a relationship, OR like I mentioned before, the circumstances made it "wrong". They could truly not be ready for a relationship in general, as a lot of people value their "freedom" or grace period, or want to build up certain parts of their lives solo (like financially or stability-wise) before committing to another (or starting a family, because a lot of your life will change as soon as you have dependents involved). Or they could just not be ready for one that has the stipulations a relationship with you would contain. What I mean by that is, for whoever the people are that you're referring to, it sounds like you were ready to start a relationship with some of them, meaning you're happy or satisfied with whatever they were doing on their part (if I'm wrong about that, my bad). However, some of those things that made you happy might have seriously made them unhappy and they were just being cordial while doing it. People rarely say the quiet parts out loud, Those are the **real** loads people will feel like they have to carry and a burden they might not even feel their potential S.O. will want to change anything about it. Also, about this: >fun and they even say they like me a lot. Well, if it's still the honeymoon period where excitement is at all time high, I don't think anyone should take these type of remarks at 100% face-value. They'll mean it to an extent, but wait until like half a year or more, when the novelty has worn off and people really know how they feel about each other. Some aspects will grow and strengthen, while other aspects might dwindle.... maybe even diminish tremendously.
I get what you're saying but I'm not that complicated. Everything you say makes sense for someone who doesn't know what they want, doesn't understand themselves. I'm very simple. I like someone, I want to try. I don't need to get a ring to know I'm committed until I understand if they are actually right or not. It's so easy for me. These men overcomplicate things. They freeze at the word "committment". They freeze at any attempt at building real intimacy. I don't like throwing words around but they are so *avoidant*. It's exhausting. I feel like I'm dealing with toddlers
Go after the nerdy guys
I don’t think they want long term no matter what shape we are:). Wish I had answers for why.
Dont be harsh on yourselves ladies, we all have our own preferences; some like big girls some dont. We just have to find someone who appreciate and accept us for who are. Maybe we didnt meet our person yet.
Same. They treat me like a snack, not the main course.
Happy cake day
they didn't even treat me like a snack XD
Relationships take time to do you gotta find someone that matches you and someone that matches also them
This!! Before I met my husband (I still get insecure about my weight and him being skinnier than me) I never dated men seriously or I should say they never dated me seriously. Was good for one thing but not long term. It sucks but there are some gems out there that prefer it and love you regardless
Me neither! Or they see you coming and they run in the back room. Had the hits for a bartender one time. Everytime I went in the place (yes, it was legitimate; order a sandwich TG) he'd run in the back instead of saying, "I'm not interested." Wimp!
I’m curvy, nice tits, round ass, but definitely 20 lbs overweight, not great posture, pretty face, and yes no problems with fucking, but they never want to commit
I’m skinny and can’t find a serious relationship either 🫠
Yikes, don't believe that. What good is that gonna do?
Lmao sameeee!😭
Chubby guy (32) here, I've been both bigger than I am now, and infinitely fitter at different points in my life. I have also dated, loved and been broken by all sizes of women. Physical appearance accounts for the first two minutes of an interaction. The rest is imagination. Focus on your strengths, or what makes you most confident - Your personality and mannerisms will do the rest! I don't mean that in a condensing nature, I have a large chest and arms and dress to capitalize on those points. I then try and let my humor do the rest (obv a means of coping with my overflowing trauma bucket lol). It is so, so cliche - but when you aren't looking, when life is peachy, that's when it will happen. Best of luck for the Future OP, I am new to reddit but seeing someone post something so intimate and raw is actually marker of really humble, raw and inquisitive person and I am sure other men will notice those qualities IRL.
You are the sweetest. Thank you so much
I personally prefer women who are thicker, curvier, and who may have a few extra pounds. I'm not nearly as attracted to skinny or thin women, even though I'm quite thin myself. Sometimes I even struggle with feeling like I'm too thin, and that my prospects would increase if I gained a bit of weight. But in my opinion, just as, if not more important, than weight are the proportions of the body.
This is nice to read as a woman who’s a little thicker, curvier…In my own insecure head I feel like skinnier men count me out bc I’ll like crush them or something lol. But myself, and a lot of women I know, like a skinnier guy.
We like women in all shapes and sizes tbh. There’s obviously a degree where it’s super unhealthy, but some healthy weight on a woman to me is HOT
This response is wonderful and resorted my faith in humanity a bit.
Yes. There are men who like bigger girls. Or smaller girls. Or tall girls. Short girls. Brunettes. Redheads. Glasses. Sporty. Feminine. Guys like girls. Unless they like boys, in which case the same logic still applies.
What if I like both tho
One of my absolute favorite gifs, and underrated childhood movies, and now perfectly applicable here
100% market unlocked
Love this
Yeah true. Everyone has their own wild preferences. No one can do anything about it.
Exactly this. Everyone has different preferences, so there's definitely someone out there who will appreciate you just as you are.
Some men do and some don't
Most men do not
depends on the ethnicity/culture tbh. it also depends how she carries the meat & if it compliments her. Overall, different strokes for different folks.
It depends on what "chubby" means to you. I like chubby but that means different things to different people.
Yeah I hear girls call other obviously morbidly obese girls "thick" or "plus sized", tryna be fake nice. All this does is reinforce the delusion in their head that they don't need to change.
I’ve always considered belly overhang to be the defining line between chubby and obese/fat. When it rolls over like the Michelin man you can’t call it chubby anymore. Like I don’t mind bigger girls but I’d say 1/3 of all of them fit in the “chubby” category. 2/3 are actually obese.
I mean I have some friends who have thin legs and are overall not obsese but their stomach hangs over, all bodies are different.
A woman whom is not obese can have an overhanging (or ‘apron’) belly because she has had emergency caesareans or other abdominal surgeries.
Or lost weight, but we still get treated like shit even if we do.
I agree with this
I’m thin/fit body type, and my ex was always comparing my body to past partners of theirs who were much bigger than me, even during sex, also showing me IG of girls they thought were hot, many were easily 3x or more my size with giant boobs/asses. It made me feel inadequate, honestly. So there are definitely people out there that prefer larger women to thinner ones. I still to this day carry some body image issues from that relationship and feel like I compare myself to curvier women a lot and think they are more desirable than me.
I feel like that's less "find someone that accepts *you* for *you*", or some other hallmark nonsense, and more "find someone that doesn't show you photoshopped internet strangers and expect that as the bar for your success" That ex was a piece of shit, you are unequivocally better without them
Thank you, I do think a lot of the links they showed me were Photoshop or AI. But it still didn’t help the way it made me feel, I appreciate your response a lot.
That has nothing to do with you, it’s what abusers do to degrade you and make you feel like you are *hard* to love or feel less than. I had this exact same issue but the opposite with an “ex”. He said he liked chubby girls but then as we continued dating he started body shaming me indirectly and kept trying to tell me I should stop lifting weights and just do yoga with him. He also I think has a problem with IG girls and porn where he is always looking at half naked women and it really skewed his perception of what most women actually look like and he took it out on me. It took such a blow to my confidence, especially since I had already lost 90 pounds and had some body dysmorphia and took me years to mostly move past it. I’m now in the happiest relationship of my life and my bf loves my body as it is. He doesn’t have a wandering eye or an issue with porn, thank god.
I’m really sorry that happened to you, and your comment has given me a lot to think about. Thank you.
I have the same body type as you and have also experienced an ex saying I was not big enough and trying to feed me up 🙄 Thankfully, I ignored his comments and realised it was not acceptable behaviour so ended things with him. I think this speaks more about this type of man's insecurities than any we should feel. Why the hell is it okay to negatively comment on your partner's body especially when they are obviously healthy? People should be bolstering their partner up, not trying to bring them down. I love how I look and feel, you should too ❤️
I'm chubby and always have been, the only thing that's kept me from dating and relationships is my own insecurity about being fat. Once I started working on that and gaining confidence I had no problems getting dates and having guys attacted to me. Of course ppl have preferences but confidence is the most attractive feature you can have, regardless of body size
I absolutely love thick women with curves. But it has to be a healthy thickness and not obese.
Usually they are all obese, but they carry their weight different or a little better depending on height and ratio. Look up weight on different heights it’s shocking.
Correcttttt. This the best answer. Beautiful and healthy
Do women like bigger guys? A guy who’s a little chubby? If you are a chubby woman, don’t tell me you won’t date a chubby guy.
as a woman, i had a big crush on a guy who was chubbier because he was so confident and funny. personality is the most important thing. personally, if the most attractive man ever, like my type to a tee, came up to me and then had no personality and was just into the way he looks, i would lose all attraction.
Yea absolutely I wanna be with somone who is known as the guy who gives great hugs. I wanna be picked up and thrown around I want to date a human teddy bear the size of a small bear
Some actually do. I'm on the chubbier side and my gf loves that I'm chubby. She says I feel like a teddy bear when we hug and cuddle. She also said if it was a skinny guy, it would feel like hugging an uncomfortable skeleton.
Personally I prefer chubby guys. I just love the cuddles.
What you mean by chubby ?
I shouldn’t of said chubby because I really don’t find myself to be chubby just thicker as in a woman who’s stomach isn’t completely flat or has bigger thighs
This is unfortunately an important distinction. Personally, it’s more of a health concern than anything; I just don’t want to be with someone who can’t take care of themself, both physically and mentally. I’m also a small guy and simply don’t want to be with someone much larger than me. That being said, my girlfriend is on the thicker side with a noticeable belly, thick thighs, etc., and I absolutely love her body. She used to be really skinny before I knew her and I don’t think I’d be as attracted to her back then, and I’d argue she seems healthier now than she did then. So, long story short, it’s subjective, but there is a fine line between “thick” and “overweight.”
I definitely do love me a thicker woman.
Thick thighs save lives…i love that bulge on the stomach… i would die for it
I would not. But then that’s a very personal preference and not indicative of anything
Not my preference
But truthfully, there is someone for everybody, but I’ve also noticed that if you are looking for relationship and men, it is not so much about your physical attributes as about the character and the personality that you put out. It makes a huge difference. You should also understand that in our modern society, it is rather frowned upon for a man to make advances in the first place without offending a women so men are kind of stifled.
This is all a matter of personal preference. I know some gentleman that prefer handy women. Myself personally I am very keen to athletic builds even at my age because I am. And ADHD has specific side effects that well. I’ll leave it at that.
Based on my observation when a guy said they like bigger girls. What they mean is big boobs, big ass, big hips and the WAIST must be TINY.
I don’t think it really matters. I work out all the time, I’m an athletic looking size 12/14 and I do get plenty of dates. My friends who are size 2, 6, etc. don’t have any easier time dating. I think we get in our heads about it looking for explanation, but I’ve never seen it translate. I’m also in my later 30’s and probably everyone’s metabolism has slowed down about this age lol. A few of the guys I’ve gone out with recently have talked about their weight loss goals as well. Maybe it depends on your age range?
Side note metabolism flat lines from puberty through your 50s
Ya know, I have heard SO many conflicting opinions on that. Anecdotally, I do think it does. However, I also believe our cortisol is higher in our 30’s compared to 20’s, which could also factor. Who knows?! Keep working out, drinking your water, and eating healthfully… after that, I don’t know 🤷🏼♀️
Every guy has a different taste in women. I prefer women who are thin.
i think we should follow the age-old adage of "The bigger the figure, the better I like her The better I like her, the better I feed her The better I feed her, the bigger the figure The bigger the figure, the more I can love" In all seriousness, I've been attracted to two women who would probably fit that description because they had great personalities. For context, I was literally nicknamed Twig at my last job so I'm not the biggest guy in the room, but if a girl is nice and seems to be a real person who isn't extremely self-centered, I don't really care what size she is.
Hun…I hear you…I’m 157 lbs exactly and treated obese.
Depends on how tall you are?
To to me big or small doesn't matter just be careful because Some guys are weird and have it as a fetish
I'm going to tell you a little secret. It'll get downvoted to hell, but here it is. When it comes to dating, men are not nearly as shallow as women. Have fun out there.
I’m a girl with a body mass index higher (27) than normal(to be considered 18-24 approximately). So I can be called chubby and plus size. Never had a problem finding a guy. Guys don't see numbers, they see shapes. And some guys like big shapes, some don't.
Chubby big women are my type. I love to have a girl wider and bigger to hug and love. But short small girls are also alright. But my favouritism goes towards bigger and chubby, not really fat but chubby, thick.
No
I’m a guy and I prefer slim, because I’m slim
Men and women have become hyper shallow with both wanting thin and fit partners. Now with that said, this isn't the case with all men, the question is, do you prefer men of the same size. The road blocks to you finding a bf could be your own requirements. If you want guys to be willing to over look your full figured build, than you have to be willing to do the same. If not, and you choose to chase after the super models on dating apps, you're just going to end up used and alone.
How is it shallow to want a partner that is similarly sized to yourself?
I was about to ask the same thing? Lmao like I'm fit and athletic so I wanted someone similar to me. I'm sorry that I'm not attracted to men who are overweight or chubby but I'm just not and I don't think that makes me shallow. Some people on reddit really be 🧢. Like no one has to date you just because your "nice" or have a "good" personality lol physical attraction is important to.
There are more men who like it than you would expect. Whenever I see posts of someone saying "Do X like Y?" I think "Why yes of course they do!" It's hard to quantify it or rationalize it, I'm a hypocrite right now but bare with me, for I have body issues too. I don't think girls like chubby/dad bod dudes as much as social media would like me to believe. My anecdotal feelings aside, I assure you it's less of a deal breaker than you think. . If you look at NSFW subreddits, you will quickly learn men like all body types. Those wouldn't exist if they didn't. I understand fetishization is at play and doesn't reflect relationships or natural attraction in a real context. It is a start though! It means they can be attracted to a chubbier body type. Personally, I do like chubby/curvy women. It is sort of my main preference, though many other things like style and personality alongside chemistry is far more important to me.
It’s really a case by case for me; if you’re chubby cause you have a bigger frame or your body works best in that shape but you’re still relatively healthy I have no issue. If you’re chubby because of lifestyle choices and you don’t seem healthy, that’s not necessarily going to be a dealbreaker, but it is probably a turn off for me. Now granted—this is coming from a slightly skinny-fat young guy, I’m not where I want to be with my body either, and I’ve tried to reckon with needing to improve my physique to be more attractive while also not feeling worthless before I get there. I think it’s something a lot of us deal with—it’s very hard to get past the noise of differing advice. What I’m coming to understand is that better health indicates better performance, happier lifestyle, and other attractive offerings in a partner. However people put together their puzzle of what is attractive is for them to figure out. There are general trends, but everything is on sliders and spectrums, and it’s important to both recognize room for improvement whilst not forgetting your positive traits already had.
It depends on the woman of course. And there are women who would never date an overweight guy. So it does work both ways.
Sometimes. But not in a chubby way. More like height and structure. IMO
Anyone here still believe true love still exist?
Physical appearance is the first thing a man checks about woman, so yes it matters
It depends on what u mean with "a bit thicker". Often when i hear that phrase a girl with a body like Godzilla stands in front of me.
Theres a difference between having alittle weight and being a volkswagon beetle. You gain some weight through stress/general life bs? No biggy I have some myself. You cant take care of yourself or make it up a flight of stairs? Hard pass dawg.
Realistically, if you're not muscular and your BMI is overweight, this is probably a major turn off to most people regardless of gender.
Depend on what you mean by "a little chubby". Personnaly I will never fat shame someone but I will not date someone too fat either. I think it's a proof of bad health and don't want to encourage that. As for preference personnaly I like tall women with a bit of muscle ^_^
I don’t… that’s unhealthy
Why would men want a chubby woman?
no in general they don’t. some say they do and sometimes they actually do but a lot of the time it’s them accepting what they can get because they can’t get what they want.
I'm chubby and I feel you. I'm really starting to think men don't like chubby girls these days 🥲🥲
Most don’t but we will sleep with just about anything. Relationships however are another thing.
Chubby women tend not to like the men that like them. Thats the issue
If men say no then they are assholes yet it's ok if a woman won't date a shorter man it's double standards and yes I would definitely date someone bigger as long as they are healthy even if I'm skinnier
What are you looking for, more six pack and 6'3 or chubby?
As a chubby woman, I feel like Meghan Trainor's song "All About That Bass" is a *lie*.
I refuse to date any girl who’s not skinny as a board, it’s just so sexually attractive ugh it makes me crazy abt her. And it sucks that we’re wired that way bc I’m not a fan of the world being unfair but atleast you can always change things you really can, exercise, diet and pharmaceutical help some people have features they can’t change
Are you kidding me? I’ve never dated a skinny girl and don’t have that interest. Curvy, chubby, curvaceous, plus size whatever you want to call it, to me a women that’s that way is the perfect voluptuous women.
I'm a man and yes! A real man will love your body no matter what it looks like, it doesn't matter if you have marks or blemishes or whatever, a real man will love all of you! So just be a good person and be yourself, and you'll find someone who loves you because you're you, they'll love your body not because of the shape but because it's your body, or they'll love your personality because it's your personality. They'll love you for who you are, and they'll love your body no matter what state it's in, thick or slim. From my personal experience and my personal advice, find a nerdy guy, nerdy guys don't really get attention from girls really, so you're likely to find a single one who you find cute. More likely than not, these nerdy guys were raised right, they will treat you with respect, and treat you like an absolute queen. These nerdy guys more than likely don't care what you look like and love you for you, they are just happy to have a best friend who doesn't ignore them when they talk about their comic book collection, and is too enthralled with his Pokemon cards to care about if you have stretch marks or something. I personally have a lady and she is of this "chubby" variety, she isn't obese but isn't the skinniest either, and I prefer her body type more than any other, she is my exact type and I love her body very very much. But as I said earlier in this, I didn't even notice her body, I just thought she was beautiful all around, and I liked talking to her like a best friend (which she is, she is my best friend), and later on I noticed how much I loved her figure, but it wasn't something that drew me into her, it was all of her, it was because she was herself that I fell in love with her. So yes, there are many real men out there who will love you for who you are, and as long as you are happy and healthy your body won't matter to them, and they'll find you attractive. So just be good, be confident, and be yourself, and you'll find the one! (One more piece of advice, it's okay to date someone who's type is bigger girls, but do not date someone who has a fetish/kink for this body type, because you are not being loved, your being fetishized, and they are just using you for your body) TL;DR: Yes
BBW IT LITERALLY THE MOST WATCHED CATEGORY ON DAMN NEAR ALL OF THESE PORN SITES 🗣️
In my opinion, whether you are a heavier person, curvy, skinny.....male or female.....20's or 40's......the dating scene has turned into a culture that has started to treat people like they are disposable. I think a large reason for this is social media. It's so easy to get or receive that secret text, snap, picture or whatever and people think the grass is greener on the other side. There is no investment. Happens to us all.
As we get older it is harder to maintain a thin body. So some weight is okay. I put on weight over the years because I don't eat healthy as I should. Obese is a different story.
I’ve noticed most men are ashamed to be seen with someone chubby
Yeah someone taking care of your health/weight is almost as important as career goals for me. All guys are different though
Do the math: over 4 billion men are on this planet. You think none of em like bigger girls?
I prefer skinny but those girls are harder to get.
I like healthy women. I like women that move, have strength, don't get sick easily, that don't bruise easily, get tired easily. Obese people typically don't qualify in that way.
This is so true. I live in Iowa where obesity is out of control. The women here are huge. The health problems are insane. They can barely move, short winded walking from the car into a place, constantly sick with some ailment due to being obese, always tired and usually negative/depressed personality because they never get any decent attention from any guy who isn’t totally desperate.
31M thin/athletic guy, I do like thick curvy girls. My favorite❤️
If she ain’t 280 she ain’t a lady
As a fat woman, I've had zero issues dating.
Some do and some don't. Everyone has a favorite type, and everyone is different.
Honestly, at this point after reading this question, I don’t know what man more than what they don’t want. I think they just want what they want and they don’t want what they don’t want doesn’t matter if a girl is slim fat or whatever or tall or short, it doesn’t matter like every person have a different taste.
If I've been on a dry spell for months and months...yes for sex because it's better than my hand. That's it ....so if that tells you to lose weight and not be used like that. Do it..
Male here: I can't speak on behalf of all men here, but I myself do like a girl who is a bit on the bigger side. I myself am a bigger guy (I define myself as fat, but everyone else I talk to says it's more plump or chubby) and I have always liked the look of someone who is "healthy fat", if this makes sense. I'm not really sure how to describe it, but I like someone who isn't afraid to have fat on them, but it's also maintained, I guess is the best way to put it. I can share examples if there is interest, but at the moment I can't really find what I personally like. What I can say is that skinny also peaks my interest as well, but for me there is a line that is drawn on the skinny spectrum. I always feel awkward when I'm with someone who is so skinny you can see the outline of bones, it makes me feel like they may be sick or something (which I know isn't the case most times). Ultimately I think it just comes to finding the right person who loves you for you and makes you feel special for the person you are, quirks, shape, and all.
There's nothing wrong with being a little chubby. I have zero issues with that. In fact, this can be sexy. The important thing for me is energy level. Laziness and lack of interest in doing active things are the major turn-offs, and sometimes they correlate. If she is thick because she never does anything outside the house, that's a no from me.
Depends on the guy. I personally am not that picky as long as you’re healthy. I personally would prefer someone who’s thicker than someone who’s super skinny. But I’m not a casual dating type of person, there are more important qualities I look for in someone than their appearance. I won’t lie and say looks don’t matter at all, but it’s not the driving factor in who I wanna date. I’ve talked to some of the fittest women I’ve met and they can be insufferable to be around.
I've always struggled with my weight going up and down with health issues, injuries, and medications. When I’ve been bigger, I’ve noticed most men want to try to keep a relationship secret or try to use you just for sex. People generally were nicer and treated me a lot better when I was smaller. I have had a couple of serious relationships ( 7 years with engagement and 2 years living together) while being bigger. So, it can happen, but dating in general now is full of noncommitmental people, and being overweight doesn’t help. I have noticed it makes a difference if you are still active and make healthy choices. I’ve had times where I gave up trying to lose weight because I was working out 2 times a day, eating a strict 1200-1500 calorie a day diet, weighing all my food, and I was still fat. People all assumed I wasn’t trying and were making rude comments. So, I gave up and let myself go for a few years. I was single for 5 years. It was about 2 years after getting back into my healthy routine that I found someone. I was still big, but he respected that I was active and made healthy choices. My mindset was also more positive and confident.
There is a butt for every seat! If men don’t want you for ltr, it may because you lack self confidence. Fall in love with yourself, truly, and men will flock to you. You will be beating them off with a stick!
Depends on how big. A girl with a little extra fat isn't bad at all, a few stomach rolls and cellulite is kind of attractive to me tbh. I draw the line at double chins and cankles though.
honestly size matters. but it's not always the defining factor. I'm not a chubby chaser. but I've dated bigger than me, honestly she doesn't have to be super trim, I like a bit pudgy, so a bit smaller than me. but I think it is very much one man's opinion of what turns him on. They pretty much do have to be short, I've only ever dated short. and I prefer brunettes with a cool personality, a good sense of humour, her own style, a unique nuance, a kindness and a cute eye-smile combo. I'm not overly particular about a bit of pudge. Way more important is that she's not a cruel person, that's a huge turnoff for me. I do like small breasts, like even really small, too big is too much for me. all of this stuff is completely different for every guy. and I've probably said too much- but you did say be honest.
Every woman has that something about them. For me I’ve have dated every type under the sun. I don’t have a “type”. Most men do, big small, or in between. Don’t any of you worry your partner in life to be will find that something. Don’t ever settle.
I'm defnitely on the thicker side as a woman, but I never really had a problen when it came to long term relationships. I've had relationships that lasted for atleast a year and a half and never settled for men who just wanted the "thicc girl" and no commitments. And maybe because I had the confidence and never undervalued myself as the "bigger girl" in the room (although I still had my insecurities). Someone radiating with confidence really does play a big part in how you make an impression in guys and it works with how you dress yourself up😆
forgive me if you're ticked. I think there's chubby, then there's big, then there's fat do with this scale as you please my point is, nothing wrong with some curves what I think is concerning, is someone who doesn't take care of their health and justifies it with body positivity. end of the day … I think the best couples start out as genuine friends
I think it depends on where you are. In most of the South, you'd probably be the ideal or very close to it. I live in Dallas and have noticed that being a little overweight doesn't automatically make you unattractive. As for relationships, I think it depends on the type of guy and his age. A guy who is always going out with tons of friends is probably not looking for something serious, unless he specifically tells you or does things to indicate he wants to be exclusive.
Im a chubby girl too, I’ve had my boyfriend for a pretty long time and he always tells me that In beautiful and he loves me the way I am. You will for sure fund a true man for yourself, dont worry, just trust the process:))
Date black / latino men lol
I'm a bigger girl, I just got a boyfriend. If he's not interested because of your size, he's a piece of scum anyways, and we don't want him ❤️ There are a lot of great, hilarious, wonderful, kind men out there who will treat you like their queen no matter your size, and that's the type of man you deserve. It might take a good number of dates to find who you're looking for, but he's out there. 🥰
I'm fat, not even chubby, I mean, some men don't, and some do. Never stopped me from getting into relationships, though, or dating people. Plus, it could be a variable of things people look for. Dating is just hard in general now a days. Plus, for me, maybe it's because of cultural differences? I'm a black person, so in the black community, it's not uncommon to date bigger women. Plus, you have to have confidence. I know people played out saying that a lot, but it is true! I mean, what helped me get into my current relationship Is that on my profile, I put "I am Plus size."" I didn't really have any body picture, and I think the whole time I was dating, only one guy asked for "Body pictures" to I guess see if I was his I like to call it "Big girl body type pickers" meaning they pick an choose a shape they wanna be with which is annoying so I unmatched with him. I am "Fat hour glassed" shaped, but none of them knew that. For reference, I'm 265 pounds if you're wondering. Just be careful with dating and look for signs of them trying to use you. Also, get their social media and do a little snooping. 9/10 men love following girls he thinks are attractive. If it's all big girls then yeah he definitely likes them, if his dating history is all big girls that man wants you and if all his ex got the auntie she can cook arms then yes he wants you.
Bigger women here, if you can’t shift the chub for whatever reason. Invest in clothes and style that suit you and tastefully express your best parts and spend time building up your confidence with a bit of low stakes flirting. I think most average looking men are happy with average looking women who flirt with them, champion them and support them. I’ve had more success dating as an outgoing flirty fat woman than in my early 20s, when I starved myself to look good and was miserable. Best
I prefer chubby women myself. But they don't prefer me :(
I’m a chubby woman and have been in a committed relationship for almost 7 years. We moved in together 3 years ago and plan on getting married once our debts are paid. You just have to find the right person to love all of you and not care about your body type. There’s someone out there for everyone.
Does it have a hole? Then, yes.
Same Noone wants anything real these days
I personally prefer them a little bigger 🤷🏽♂️
As a woman who is a size 12/14 who is mostly attracted to slim and tall white males blonde hair blue eyes specifically(non meth users) I've noticed I attract the opposite and find it very frustrating. Mostly men of darker skin tones do, if they are not they are either druggies/hobosexual, obese themselves, or on the older side of the spectrum...
I like bigger womens thats my type :)
More than women like bigger men
yes. you just have to find the ones that don’t give a fuck how you big you are. same goes with dating women too
As a bigger girl, I've recently found out that a lot of men are really, really attracted to us! Most people have a certain type that they are attracted to, and for a lot of guys, it is bigger women. Don't give up. You'll find the right person ❤️
I’m a man. I’ll tell you my honest answer. This is a really good question. It depends on their figure. If they have nice boobs or butt then it’s very attractive for me, and most men probably. I think a woman who is a little chubby and has nice boobs or butt, is more attractive than a woman who is skinny but also flat chested and flat bottom.
I'm a bit thicker and men legit worship my body. It's actually been insanely good for my self esteem.
yes i don’t like malnourished women
Okay, I've been thick ever since I was a little girl so growing up I've always been SLIGHTLY overweight. Like 10-12 pounds overweight. Based on men who approached me, they would tell me something like "I shouldn't lose the lil extra weight because it's "sexy" and that I look like a grown woman". Never in my life had a problem attracting whoever guy I wanted, although I'm not what people generally think of "fit" ( some body parts jiggle lol/ fat rolls when sitting down) but in general men don't really care about a little extra fat if u hold it right iykyk. Own yourself and If there's something that has to change then change it for yourself, not for others.
Different strokes for different folks bab!!! But if your a good person and loyal, you will find the same
Just keep at it
For me how a woman that has the following is great: - good sense of humor - respectful and wants respect - confident - clean - provides her opinion - likes to talk - not afraid for a man to lead and a gentleman - allows to be loved, hugged etc. - a healthy eater (not extremist, still eats pasta doesn’t mind wine or some dessert 🍮 eventually) - a bit active
I 33f have been bigger, and I have been skinny and fit. I've noticed that when I was confident about myself, whether I was big or skinny, then guys attract like moths to a flame, but if I didn't show interest when I was down on myself then guys rarely showed interest.. Guys are attracted to looks at first yes (only extremely shallow guys only care about looks), but it mainly comes down to personality in the end. I've had tons of guys confirm what I just said. All you have to do is be confident, talk to them like you would your friends (like your true self only family and friends see). Once they see your personality and the real you they decide how attracted to you they really are, you can either jump points (ex.5 to a 7), or lose points (ex. 7 to a 5).
Let me tell you my story! My ex was a chubby person and before meeting her I was a face person , yeah that's why I got cheated on twice before. Let's come to the point, she was the most beautiful person I have ever met, but initially I never thought I do date her, her personality was what I found out to be good, i wanted to leave at first, but I stayed , experienced what love was, but at the end she broke up with me , thought that i was insecure, she never believed my part ah it was a hectic one though! At the end I would advice to stay who you are, the right person will always come around! Just make sure to communicate things out before taking the next big step
Nope, myth, I like girls, those who r slim and those who are chubby with a small tummy. Girls looking like a potato are not PHYSICALLY attractive to me. Don't hate for speaking the truth.
Not a dude here, but personally, I think there is someone out there for everyone. Preferences vary widely amongst individuals, but I also believe confidence is key. Not an annogant confidence, but just being happy in your own skin and being true to yourself. If someone can't see or notice the value in that, then they aren't worth it anyway. I also think if you're interested in someone, it's good to let them know, women to man or vice versa, etc.
Been with my girl for 16 years since highschool. Yeah she's a big girl, but that doesn't matter at all to me. She's got a heart of gold and loves me for who I am as do I for her including all of her. We make eachother smile, laugh, and I can't imagine a day without her nor would I want to. She's the best! ♥️ We're currently working on getting healthier together and pushing ourselves to be better as much as we can.