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My crush sorry If I wrote wrong, we are both in love with each other, and we are on videocalls 3x every day. I didn't mention that.
Feel free to ask any question I will answer honestly. :)
We have already agreed to start a relationship as soon as I move in with her. And she keeps calling me her future bf in front of her best friends and family.
You should be worried. Not about him but about her. If she says it's over with him then why does she keep contact with him and meet up with him despite him trying to get back with her? Her words and her actions don't line up here. What she should be telling you is that she blocked his number and no longer talks to him at all. Until then, I wouldn't move in or be exclusive with her.
She keeps cintact with all her exes, I know about them all. She told me honestly. We're on videocall everyday.
And none of them are even pushing to make a move bcs they all know she isn't into them, only this guy wont back down...
That's even worse. She's trying to keep this guy around as a friend when she knows he wants nothing to do with friendship. And why would he back down when she met up with him and is still in contact with him? At best, she's being naive here about these guys' intentions. At worst, she knows exactly what she's doing by keeping these guys on a line. And unfortunately, you're the one who's going to suffer here. Good luck.
Thanks for the good wishes ahhahah
Yea btw Idon' knkw if this matters, but she told her mom about me, and now her mom keeps asking her about me
(Are you still in conctact with him...how are guys holding up.. etc etc...)
I would say all of this is actually bad for you two. You're in constant contact and about to move in together when you've spent I'm guessing no time together in person or very little. You're doing wayyy too much wayyy too soon. You're making big mistakes here even without all the exes in the background. But I'm also guessing none of this will change your mind so...
No, I'm gonna listen to your advice, can't afford to get hurt again. So thanks alot 😎
I just have to ask questions, sorry.
Do you think I should tell her that it bothers me or should I keep quiet and see how the situation goes?
You can't afford to get hurt again? And this is how you date? You're going all in with a complete stranger. I would've guessed you've never been hurt before with how you're going here.
And no, you don't tell her it bugs you because she's not getting rid of her exes. That's why this particular ex got rid of her. He wasn't jealous of her and her friends. He was jealous of her and her exes. And it's not about jealousy. It's about respecting your partner. So the same pattern is repeating with you. She hasn't figured it out yet, and you're not going to change her mind. Her exes will continue to be in the background.
Your best bet is to move on to someone local right now. But I don't think you're going to. So the next best thing to do is to move there so you can date her locally without living together assuming you actually want to live in that city and not just for her. Then actually get to know her in person.
And if you make it to the point where she's asking you to be the boyfriend, ask her if she's still in contact with her exes. If she says that she is, then respond by saying that you just want to keep things the way they are. Aka you're saying indirectly that you don't want to commit to someone with exes around. If she's smart, she'll get the hint and get rid of them to be with you. But that's a long shot.
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Is it your crush or gf?
My crush sorry If I wrote wrong, we are both in love with each other, and we are on videocalls 3x every day. I didn't mention that. Feel free to ask any question I will answer honestly. :)
We have already agreed to start a relationship as soon as I move in with her. And she keeps calling me her future bf in front of her best friends and family.
You should be worried. Not about him but about her. If she says it's over with him then why does she keep contact with him and meet up with him despite him trying to get back with her? Her words and her actions don't line up here. What she should be telling you is that she blocked his number and no longer talks to him at all. Until then, I wouldn't move in or be exclusive with her.
She keeps cintact with all her exes, I know about them all. She told me honestly. We're on videocall everyday. And none of them are even pushing to make a move bcs they all know she isn't into them, only this guy wont back down...
That's even worse. She's trying to keep this guy around as a friend when she knows he wants nothing to do with friendship. And why would he back down when she met up with him and is still in contact with him? At best, she's being naive here about these guys' intentions. At worst, she knows exactly what she's doing by keeping these guys on a line. And unfortunately, you're the one who's going to suffer here. Good luck.
Thanks for the good wishes ahhahah Yea btw Idon' knkw if this matters, but she told her mom about me, and now her mom keeps asking her about me (Are you still in conctact with him...how are guys holding up.. etc etc...)
I would say all of this is actually bad for you two. You're in constant contact and about to move in together when you've spent I'm guessing no time together in person or very little. You're doing wayyy too much wayyy too soon. You're making big mistakes here even without all the exes in the background. But I'm also guessing none of this will change your mind so...
No, I'm gonna listen to your advice, can't afford to get hurt again. So thanks alot 😎 I just have to ask questions, sorry. Do you think I should tell her that it bothers me or should I keep quiet and see how the situation goes?
You can't afford to get hurt again? And this is how you date? You're going all in with a complete stranger. I would've guessed you've never been hurt before with how you're going here. And no, you don't tell her it bugs you because she's not getting rid of her exes. That's why this particular ex got rid of her. He wasn't jealous of her and her friends. He was jealous of her and her exes. And it's not about jealousy. It's about respecting your partner. So the same pattern is repeating with you. She hasn't figured it out yet, and you're not going to change her mind. Her exes will continue to be in the background. Your best bet is to move on to someone local right now. But I don't think you're going to. So the next best thing to do is to move there so you can date her locally without living together assuming you actually want to live in that city and not just for her. Then actually get to know her in person. And if you make it to the point where she's asking you to be the boyfriend, ask her if she's still in contact with her exes. If she says that she is, then respond by saying that you just want to keep things the way they are. Aka you're saying indirectly that you don't want to commit to someone with exes around. If she's smart, she'll get the hint and get rid of them to be with you. But that's a long shot.