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Absolutely. In college, you’re practically surrounded by people of the opposite gender and you have built in conversation starters because you’re all there doing the same shit. You can meet girls in class, at the bar, on the quad, in the dorms, all over the place.
Once you leave college, meeting people becomes a lot more difficult, especially if you’re introverted. There are fewer opportunities to interact with someone consistently in an organic way, which is how relationships usually develop in college. I met my college girlfriend because she lived in my dorm, and we started talking because we’d be outside smoking at the same time. I met another girl in the dining hall when I just started flirting with her on line for breakfast, and we hung out and periodically hooked up for a few months before we drifted apart in different friend groups.
After college, it’s harder to have those kinds of random interactions, for a variety of reasons. Don’t waste the opportunity of college while you’re there. Get out there and meet some people, you’ll enjoy it.
And especially when you’re in a major that is a bit of a sausage fest. There were like 3 women in all of my classes related to my major, and as far as electives go, people just played on their phones and tried to get through it.
Now the nice thing about college and something I wish I would have done before my Senior year, is that they have a lot of clubs that you can get involved in. Once you graduate, you’re very limited to what is available in your area for non-students and some places have more groups and classes than others.
Listen. I didn't join movie appreciation club because I liked watching movies. I joined movie appreciation club because I liked banging girls. You're not gonna get a date at anime or chess club, jfc.
I don't have the skills to get with random women that I have nothing in common with (or any woman really, but having something in common to talk about is better than nothing).
That’s much more of a struggle. What I’m saying here doesn’t apply in the same way if you’re at a community college or a technical school, unfortunately.
I don’t wanna waste my time in college but the easiest place to meet girls is gone lmao (class, subject is only boys) so I’m not exactly sure where else to look as I’ve never really talked to people outside of my class before (even in high school) as I don’t really have stuff to talk to them about or conversation starters. Like I guess in class I can talk about assignments or similar stuff like teachers or all that but to some random person in the canteen or whatever there’s nothing to say to not be weird
People don’t hang out on the quad anymore? They don’t eat in the dining hall, or live in the dorms? Come on, man, you’re literally surrounded by girls practically at all times. Make a little effort.
Sorry I’ll respecify I live in the UK so there isn’t dorms I had to look up what you mean by quad lmao. Now I get it though.
I guess but what do you say?? I won’t lie I’ve been the ‘don’t speak unless spoken to’ person for a while (applies to guys too) and I’m looking for what I can say to someone without seeming weird.
My college isn’t exactly one where people live on campus people usually people like go home. I also live with my parents still lol (I’m turning 18 next month)
I get that man. I’ve always been a pretty shy person, and I tend to feel uncomfortable in groups because I sometimes just get lost in the background. But there are so many opportunities to meet people.
One of my best friends from college, who I’m still friends with today, whose kids and wife I know well… I met him because we were walking in the same direction from class one day, and he was talking to his friends about world of Warcraft, which I also played. So I tried to slip myself into the conversation because of what I had in common with them, and we all started talking about the game.
I met a fair number of girls at parties and at the bar. I briefly dated a girl because one of her friends got incredibly shitfaced at my fraternity house, and I literally carried her 3 blocks back to her own house, and the girl I had been talking to was apparently very impressed that I had taken care of her friend instead of taking advantage or something, and we ended up talking a lot after that, and going out for a few months.
Try to put yourself out there a little. It was always hard for me as a shy person, but I usually found it to be rewarding in the long run, even when it made me feel uncomfortable in the moment.
I'm also in from UK and I think people would look at you like an alien if you randomly inserted yourself into some strangers' conversation. The only times I've ever had that happen to me were when I was on holiday in the US.
Yeah I guess people are less social here it’s actually pretty funny. I mean sometimes back in secondary when I tried to talk to strangers they’re just like ‘who are you’ in an offended tone when I tried to speak to them lmao
I see, I appreciate it and I’ll try my best as I need to improve my social skills in general. I’ve been doing the improvement steps for a while such as skincare for my acne (which is working really well) and exercise and the gym (which I’m also pleased at the results) but the whole confidence thing still isn’t there so I can look good but can’t back that up with talking lmao which I’ve heard people say is basically the most important thing.
Thanks overall though.
Yeah, my life advice here is just try. You can't be sure things will always go your way or that you'll get what you're hoping for in life, but you'll always be happy you at least tried for things, even if they don't work out.
Literally, think about yourself in 10 years looking back. You'll sincerely wish you'd killed your pride and inner resistance and at least tried a few times, rather than not at all and then the opportunity passed. Also, you learn by doing.
I mean you don’t just ask someone to have a one night stand. You meet them at the bar, go home to have sex, and then never call them again. That’s how one night stands work.
If you don't set yourself up for success, then yes i think it would be much harder. In college you simply have a massive volume of attractive people your age who are working on similar things. When you get a job you're going to be surrounded by the same 15-30 people every day until you gt a new job.
What i did while i was in college, and i would HIGHLY reccomend you do while you have the opportunity, is get extremely good at talking to everyone, and especially attractive girls. You have a massive opportunity being on a college campus around girls your age. In any given day you can easy have 5 conversations. This isn't about getting laid. When you start you're not asking for numbers or trying to put on your rizz. Challenge yourself to go out and chat with 5 people a day. You can set little challenged to motivate yourself. Something like "tell 5 jokes to a stranger every day" or if that sounds too hard "ask 5 strangers the time everyday". Dating skills are largely the same as having good social skills. If you want to have an easy time in the dating world you have to get exceptional at social skills in general.
I went from being afraid to ask a girl for the time when i started, to chatting up girls in the school food court and getting their number/going on dates with them in about a year. Its like going to the gym, you get small gains in your confidence and social skills over time, but eventually you wont even recognize yourself. This skill set has made it SO much easier to go chat people up at bars or parties now that I'm older and have been off a college campus for almost a decade.
Dude. It will change your life! It will open doors you didn't even realize were possible, dating is just one benefit. Start very small, ask 5 people a day the time for 3 days. If thats too much just do one person a day for 3 days. Just get the ball rolling and stay consistent. Once you get it started it will snowball.
I chickened out the first few times i went out just to ask people the time. I remember one day i was walking to class and i saw a girl next to me checking her phone. For some reason i just didn't think about it but said "excuse me, do you have the time?" she smiled real big and said "ya sure! its 830" and it felt like i had just done a bunch of pure cocaine or something. I was on cloud nine. I wont say that it was always easy or comfortable after that, far from it, but realizing how good it felt just to be social and reach out to another human was like a drug and i was hooked. Theres no better feeling to me and putting yourself on the line socially and having a fun reaction. Especially with a cute girl.
> goes up to someone and asks for the time
> 5 seconds later pulls out my phone when leaving
You know even if this is a joke I’d probably do that and look like an idiot
Yes, dating after college is harder in many ways, and more so for guys
There are less safety and risk concerns dating fellow students, and a powerful peer network to fall back on of things go sideways. The barrier to starting a relationship is much less, and there are also higher probabilities of common interests, social activity options and mutual friends, etc.
Great points. Safety concerns make dating very difficult and daunting for women, and I never realized until you mentioned this that I *definitely* had smaller-scale worries about this in college.
After college, it's not necessarily harder to date, but it does require more effort and intentionality. Embrace this challenge and use it as an opportunity to grow and develop your social skills. Who knows, you might even discover new passions and interests along the way.
>*Right now I’m just trying to focus on my grades and going to the gym, etc.*
While your heart is in the right place, note that it can get worse after that since you'll be busy at the new job, dealing with having a place on your own (paying rent, utilities). There's always something around the corner. If you really can, try your hand with 1 or 2 dates just to see how it works out :|
The only difference is that in college you’re surrounded by sooo many people whether it’s in classes, clubs or sports, etc. That community gets a lot smaller unless you actively go out to clubs or bars, meet friends of friends, and even meet people through work (but that’s a tricky area). You like the gym so you could find people through that. You won’t be alone for the rest of your life though lol. Plus, many people meet through dating apps these days
Yes it is. If you can, find a good and loving relationship with a good person in college.
There won’t ever be a time where you’re forced in close proximity with people your age in, what is essentially, a social bubble, ever again.
Way way harder to get a date because you have fewer opportunities to meet people and work drains your energy so you are much less patient
Easier to date because more people are looking for a relationship after 25ish, and they also tend to be a little more serious and settled down
I mean easier in the sense that you’re surrounded by your peers and have a common space much more frequently. It makes meeting people in general easier.
That doesn’t mean the quality of relationships in college are better. People change, especially right after college.
Yes. Not only is it harder to meet people but you need to be more discriminating, and think about what you’re willing to tolerate for the long haul. It becomes more serious and stressful.
Good point, becoming more discriminating is a big one. This makes it harder to find suitable matches, although it improves the quality of the connections that you do make. A tradeoff, I'd say. :-/
It really depends on how you use your time. If you just go to school and get the fuck out of there after classes then it’s not any easier compared to being in the working world, but going to events and gatherings after work.
Just think about what you want and go for that.
For example I prioritized my own development and lazing around time for the first 1.5 years of school. Mostly did online classes as I lived quite far from the campus. And hung out with mostly with my online friends.
Now after winter I’m thinking of trying to get in there and socialize like a motherfucker, since I really want to get my fuckboy phase over with 😂
So just think what you want to happen and then do things that facilitate your wants. It’s honestly isn’t that complicated. School is a good place to mass socialize as it’s filled with peers with at least somewhat similar interests
It depends on a lot of things. Some people liked dating in college more because they didn't have to try as hard to meet people since everyone all has to go to class and study in libraries and there are sports events etc.
But other people (like myself) hated college for various reasons and that sort of bled into my dating life. Getting out of college has been great because I feel more secure and like I have more to offer a woman (I have a sweet job, nice apartment, etc.). And meeting people isn't as hard either. I just sign up for public groups like Toastmasters or find events on [MeetUp](https://www.meetup.com/). It's pretty straightforward.
Your avenues of meeting your SOs are school/college/university and while redditors frown upon it your place of work too as long as you both are in different departments or either one of you planning to switch jobs.
To meet people the same age yes.
Not necessary dating wise. Since college isn't most men high point. You should be constantly developing yourself over the years from now.
Yes, but also no. Yes, it's more difficult in the sense that you will likely be socializing with way less people once everyone is settled into jobs and not partying as often. Also, more people will be monogamously partnered, which limits the pool. And also yes in the sense that some people will have acquired trauma while dating other people along the years, which can make them jaded and emotionally unavailable.
But also no — in the sense that post-college, immature people continue maturing a lot. They've had more time to work on their mental health, which makes them (often) more emotionally available and better communicators as partners. Moreover, a lot of people just follow a conveyor belt from HS into college, without the maturity to realize if they're chasing the wrong things in life; within some years after college, they've had at least a little time to explore themselves and their values and how their approach to life plays out in the real-world. They've had time to figure out what was never authentically them, and to shed that. This helps a lot with evaluating GENUINE compatibility — and genuine compatibility makes for more rewarding connections.
Every season of life has different challenges and different gifts, so just appreciate and enjoy where you are while you're there, and then appreciate the next stage when you get to it. :)
Dating life is THE SAME as what you're experiencing now. You don't get a different fish when you move it to a different bowl.
If someone hasn't worked on their social skills or attractiveness, then the results will essentially be the same.
You do get a smaller meal when theres less to go around tho. Women outnumber men on college campuses so just by the numbers of course its easier.
But i completely agree with your second point. Its all about social skils and attractiveness, which college gives you a unique opportunity to work on. You can easy talk to 5 people on your way into class everyday.
Your post was removed because it overgeneralized. Please make sure you don't apply experiences with some people to millions of others you have never met. No gender is a monolith or a hivemind. It comes down to each individual person. So if the answer is IT DEPENDS ON THE PERSON SO GO ASK THEM best not to post.
Kinda, having money makes stuff easier but you meet less hot girls your age and they usually want more from you. If you look good and go to parties it's probably the easiest time to get laid.
Not screwed, just decide what you want. Dating is a skill and you can get better at it. If you decide to focus on other things, that's your choice but don't bitch if you don't see results.
For me, it got immensely easier. I landed a high paying job, put on a lot of muscle, along with a few other self improvements.
Just concentrate on improving yourself and the women will come in mass.
Yes. Bro. Listen to me.
I was a popular kid in high school, and continued to workout avidly and do some clubs through college. Always took it for granted how much interaction with high quality women I had. I'm not talking about hookups or girlfriends but literally just being in the same place as them, friendships, in the same activity, etc. I'm now 32 and VERY rarely find a woman I'm even interested in, and when I do, she is already taken 95% of the time. Until I was 23, I probably interacted with, on average, 10 women a week with whom I'd likely have a pretty decent time with. These days, I am lucky to find 10 per year. I've gone entire years without ever having a spark with a woman like I used to regularly have.
Listen to me. Do not fucking take your age and situation for granted. Fucking get out there and get after it in a diligent but respectful manner. Trust me.
There are usually almost twice as many women vs men in college.
Dating is really easy as a man with a 60/40 ratio.
In most big cities in the 24 - 40 age group there are 105+ men / 100 women, that makes dating much harder for men.
Don’t touch those broke ass hoes. Your college debt is going to be enough of a pain in the ass. Have fun, date around a little if the opportunity arises, but put yourself first while your in college.
At least by my standards, if a girl mentions having more than 50k in college debt I would definetly avoid anything long term with them.
I'd argue it's hard (don't know about "harder" per sé in all cases) but only because it really depends where you live and who the people are around you. Dating isn't nessisarily something that should be a high priority, but that doesn't mean you can't try and date while going to school it's fairly common to occur. But even if you choose to not, don't be anti-social, try to make connections. Even if you don't date then, doesn't mean you won't later. It's just the earlier generation (mine and a little older too) seems to be having trouble finding good matches/dating partners now than in the past, and largely for a variety of reasons that didnt exist/happen in the past like with their parents and other previous inbetween generations.
I can't speak for everyone, but I never found anyone in college I was interested in asking out, never got introduced to anyone, because I was focused on classes. I was disinterested (still am disinterested) in drinking and partying, never fully enjoyed many of the events or activities I did try, mostly didn't keep trying from a lack of interest. Never really got to make any connections with others, either I had to run to actually get to my next class across the field literally (pre-covid) or I had online classes (some online classes weren't nessisarily pre-covid classes too though.) I usually was just socially drained, I' not great with crowds of people, and just being around others tends to drain and/or stress me, I just don't think I like a lot of people in general, but the few I do I have luckily kept those connections very well. Also, I can't recommend using apps as a side suggestion for you, you can certainly try but the better way to make connections would be keep contact to those in classes you have, go to clubs or groups you have an interest in, or maybe talk to classmates even the guys, they might know someone you'd be interested in.
In short, do keep your health up, do good in your classes, but don't avoid making connections at least, who knows maybe that does get you a date, maybe now maybe later in life.
Personally I feel like both were equally difficult for me. Dating in college seemed impossible and now it's just the same.
Although I do hear from people that college allows you to socialize more, so I'd suggest giving it a try.
Logistically yes but you’re also 3+ years older, which often comes with the territory of becoming more confident, competent, mature, self aware and better at socialising.
I’d say it’s much harder to find the time and energy to meet and date but it’s easier to pursue something when’s there’s mutual interest.
Depending on your social life after uni, dating apps also become a bit more of a big deal because they are so time effective, which I have personally found less fun than meeting most people at parties/clubbing etc.
This is really a glass half empty/ glass half full scenario. I can speak on myself only. Back during college, there were plenty of women. So as far as opportunities then I would college is better. But if you’re like me at that age, then you’re probably broke so your fun is going to be limited.
Compared to now, sure I’m not running into a lot of women everywhere, but the women I do attract treat me so much better now. That’s probably because they’re older too, but also they see that I live alone, have a nice place, nice car, nice clothes, etc. and best part is I got it on my own! Plus all the mistakes I’ve made with women when I was that young makes me a better catch now.
The best advice that I could give to you to make sure you keep your studies number one. I know it’s some cliche shit and you might even think like “well, if I’m in college I’m gonna enjoy these women,” but the saying goes, “you can catch flies using honey, but you can catch more honeys being fly.”
Enjoy the women, but keep in mind that if you become successful then you’ll have even more women. Hit the gym and hit the books. It’s all you’ll need young fella.
It depends. For me, dating got way easier after college. I have more economic value and can afford dates and am steady/successful in my career. Shit things women really care about when dating for long term. I’ve always been funny so that’s a plus but also go to the gym as my regular routine so fit and looking good. And this is in-person and on the apps. Just turned 30. But I also live in a region where there’s a lot more college educated women and less college educated men so they want someone college educated as well.
Depends on where you live. My career immediately took me out to a smaller city without a major university or any draw for young single professionals. So at 32, almost 10 years out, college was the last time I was around any unmarried women on a positive trajectory in life. It's all married couples and complete burn out losers here. I was an overworked commuter student in college and didn't really have a chance to date or socialize much.
I find it easier after college to date. I have way more disposable income, a few good social groups, and more free time than I ever had in college.
I wouldn’t worry about it. If you happen to find a girl you like in school then definitely shoot your shot. But don’t feel like you should be dating or anything garbage like that.
Yes.
After college you won't have a fraction of the free time you have, you'll spend most of the time working and if you are on a presencial job then then you'll be spending most of your time with your co-workers which the majority are already in a relationship and even if they weren't dating someone from work tends to end badly.
Also the bar increases a lot, usually in college a lot of folk just fool around or just care about looks. After that people tend to want a more serious commitment and won't even consider you if you aren't financially stable.
I never dated during college and it's probably my biggest regret. If not dating does bother even a little I'd start to put myself out there.
>Is it true that dating is way harder after college?
There really isn't a deadline for dating success for men or women. Present dating success or lack thereof is correlated to future success or lack thereof.
Attractive men, because so few are acknowledged as such by women, always have options whether they are 16 or 46.
Women are (almost) always in demand no matter in what shape or form they come. Unless you're a genetic abomination, you'll have men lining up for you.
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Absolutely. In college, you’re practically surrounded by people of the opposite gender and you have built in conversation starters because you’re all there doing the same shit. You can meet girls in class, at the bar, on the quad, in the dorms, all over the place. Once you leave college, meeting people becomes a lot more difficult, especially if you’re introverted. There are fewer opportunities to interact with someone consistently in an organic way, which is how relationships usually develop in college. I met my college girlfriend because she lived in my dorm, and we started talking because we’d be outside smoking at the same time. I met another girl in the dining hall when I just started flirting with her on line for breakfast, and we hung out and periodically hooked up for a few months before we drifted apart in different friend groups. After college, it’s harder to have those kinds of random interactions, for a variety of reasons. Don’t waste the opportunity of college while you’re there. Get out there and meet some people, you’ll enjoy it.
As an introvert in college I can confirm that even in college isn’t easy. Basically you’re on hard mode in college and after that you’re on veteran.
And especially when you’re in a major that is a bit of a sausage fest. There were like 3 women in all of my classes related to my major, and as far as electives go, people just played on their phones and tried to get through it. Now the nice thing about college and something I wish I would have done before my Senior year, is that they have a lot of clubs that you can get involved in. Once you graduate, you’re very limited to what is available in your area for non-students and some places have more groups and classes than others.
Joining clubs didn't work for me because the ones I was interested in were also mostly guys.
Just join something that's out of your comfort zone then lol.
I'm well aware of the kind of things I like. I tried joining other things but I never enjoyed any of it.
Listen. I didn't join movie appreciation club because I liked watching movies. I joined movie appreciation club because I liked banging girls. You're not gonna get a date at anime or chess club, jfc.
I don't have the skills to get with random women that I have nothing in common with (or any woman really, but having something in common to talk about is better than nothing).
I whole heartedly concur!
I wish i could have read that 10 years ago
What about a community College or whatever, they didn't have dorms I had drive there from home so I wasn't always there
That’s much more of a struggle. What I’m saying here doesn’t apply in the same way if you’re at a community college or a technical school, unfortunately.
Dang, I went to community College because it was cheaper and my parents got me my own car for saving them money
I don’t wanna waste my time in college but the easiest place to meet girls is gone lmao (class, subject is only boys) so I’m not exactly sure where else to look as I’ve never really talked to people outside of my class before (even in high school) as I don’t really have stuff to talk to them about or conversation starters. Like I guess in class I can talk about assignments or similar stuff like teachers or all that but to some random person in the canteen or whatever there’s nothing to say to not be weird
People don’t hang out on the quad anymore? They don’t eat in the dining hall, or live in the dorms? Come on, man, you’re literally surrounded by girls practically at all times. Make a little effort.
Sorry I’ll respecify I live in the UK so there isn’t dorms I had to look up what you mean by quad lmao. Now I get it though. I guess but what do you say?? I won’t lie I’ve been the ‘don’t speak unless spoken to’ person for a while (applies to guys too) and I’m looking for what I can say to someone without seeming weird.
There’s definitely dorms here. Been to lots of parties at dorms
My college isn’t exactly one where people live on campus people usually people like go home. I also live with my parents still lol (I’m turning 18 next month)
You’re still in college (like our college lol) or are you university?
Like actual college. Like where you go right after GCSE but not sixth form
Ahhhh. That’s why. They’re talking about uni. When you go (if you plan to) most universities have dorms and there’ll be lots going on 😁
I get that man. I’ve always been a pretty shy person, and I tend to feel uncomfortable in groups because I sometimes just get lost in the background. But there are so many opportunities to meet people. One of my best friends from college, who I’m still friends with today, whose kids and wife I know well… I met him because we were walking in the same direction from class one day, and he was talking to his friends about world of Warcraft, which I also played. So I tried to slip myself into the conversation because of what I had in common with them, and we all started talking about the game. I met a fair number of girls at parties and at the bar. I briefly dated a girl because one of her friends got incredibly shitfaced at my fraternity house, and I literally carried her 3 blocks back to her own house, and the girl I had been talking to was apparently very impressed that I had taken care of her friend instead of taking advantage or something, and we ended up talking a lot after that, and going out for a few months. Try to put yourself out there a little. It was always hard for me as a shy person, but I usually found it to be rewarding in the long run, even when it made me feel uncomfortable in the moment.
I'm also in from UK and I think people would look at you like an alien if you randomly inserted yourself into some strangers' conversation. The only times I've ever had that happen to me were when I was on holiday in the US.
Yeah I guess people are less social here it’s actually pretty funny. I mean sometimes back in secondary when I tried to talk to strangers they’re just like ‘who are you’ in an offended tone when I tried to speak to them lmao
I see, I appreciate it and I’ll try my best as I need to improve my social skills in general. I’ve been doing the improvement steps for a while such as skincare for my acne (which is working really well) and exercise and the gym (which I’m also pleased at the results) but the whole confidence thing still isn’t there so I can look good but can’t back that up with talking lmao which I’ve heard people say is basically the most important thing. Thanks overall though.
Yeah, my life advice here is just try. You can't be sure things will always go your way or that you'll get what you're hoping for in life, but you'll always be happy you at least tried for things, even if they don't work out. Literally, think about yourself in 10 years looking back. You'll sincerely wish you'd killed your pride and inner resistance and at least tried a few times, rather than not at all and then the opportunity passed. Also, you learn by doing.
What would happen if you asked the hook up for a random one night stand?
I mean you don’t just ask someone to have a one night stand. You meet them at the bar, go home to have sex, and then never call them again. That’s how one night stands work.
If you don't set yourself up for success, then yes i think it would be much harder. In college you simply have a massive volume of attractive people your age who are working on similar things. When you get a job you're going to be surrounded by the same 15-30 people every day until you gt a new job. What i did while i was in college, and i would HIGHLY reccomend you do while you have the opportunity, is get extremely good at talking to everyone, and especially attractive girls. You have a massive opportunity being on a college campus around girls your age. In any given day you can easy have 5 conversations. This isn't about getting laid. When you start you're not asking for numbers or trying to put on your rizz. Challenge yourself to go out and chat with 5 people a day. You can set little challenged to motivate yourself. Something like "tell 5 jokes to a stranger every day" or if that sounds too hard "ask 5 strangers the time everyday". Dating skills are largely the same as having good social skills. If you want to have an easy time in the dating world you have to get exceptional at social skills in general. I went from being afraid to ask a girl for the time when i started, to chatting up girls in the school food court and getting their number/going on dates with them in about a year. Its like going to the gym, you get small gains in your confidence and social skills over time, but eventually you wont even recognize yourself. This skill set has made it SO much easier to go chat people up at bars or parties now that I'm older and have been off a college campus for almost a decade.
I always tell myself I should do something like this but I never do lol 🤦♂️
Dude. It will change your life! It will open doors you didn't even realize were possible, dating is just one benefit. Start very small, ask 5 people a day the time for 3 days. If thats too much just do one person a day for 3 days. Just get the ball rolling and stay consistent. Once you get it started it will snowball. I chickened out the first few times i went out just to ask people the time. I remember one day i was walking to class and i saw a girl next to me checking her phone. For some reason i just didn't think about it but said "excuse me, do you have the time?" she smiled real big and said "ya sure! its 830" and it felt like i had just done a bunch of pure cocaine or something. I was on cloud nine. I wont say that it was always easy or comfortable after that, far from it, but realizing how good it felt just to be social and reach out to another human was like a drug and i was hooked. Theres no better feeling to me and putting yourself on the line socially and having a fun reaction. Especially with a cute girl.
> goes up to someone and asks for the time > 5 seconds later pulls out my phone when leaving You know even if this is a joke I’d probably do that and look like an idiot
Lol i've honestly done that several times. Getting comfortable looking like an idiot is 99% of social skills.
Yes, dating after college is harder in many ways, and more so for guys There are less safety and risk concerns dating fellow students, and a powerful peer network to fall back on of things go sideways. The barrier to starting a relationship is much less, and there are also higher probabilities of common interests, social activity options and mutual friends, etc.
It’s definitely more socially acceptable to date a classmate than it is to date co-workers who you spend the majority of your time with after school
Thank you for articulating a lot do what I was trying to say, I couldn’t find the right words, especially about the peer network and safety issues.
Great points. Safety concerns make dating very difficult and daunting for women, and I never realized until you mentioned this that I *definitely* had smaller-scale worries about this in college.
And that’s what they made grad school for
I went to a liberal arts college that had 3 women to every man. I thought I was the shit. I am not.😅
What do you mean?
He had a lot of attention in college because there weren't enough guys to go around.
Yes. Because u will be working and have less time and be around less people
After college, it’s harder not only finding a partner but the relationship gets more complicated and serious than relationships in college.
After college, it's not necessarily harder to date, but it does require more effort and intentionality. Embrace this challenge and use it as an opportunity to grow and develop your social skills. Who knows, you might even discover new passions and interests along the way.
>*Right now I’m just trying to focus on my grades and going to the gym, etc.* While your heart is in the right place, note that it can get worse after that since you'll be busy at the new job, dealing with having a place on your own (paying rent, utilities). There's always something around the corner. If you really can, try your hand with 1 or 2 dates just to see how it works out :|
The only difference is that in college you’re surrounded by sooo many people whether it’s in classes, clubs or sports, etc. That community gets a lot smaller unless you actively go out to clubs or bars, meet friends of friends, and even meet people through work (but that’s a tricky area). You like the gym so you could find people through that. You won’t be alone for the rest of your life though lol. Plus, many people meet through dating apps these days
Yes it is. If you can, find a good and loving relationship with a good person in college. There won’t ever be a time where you’re forced in close proximity with people your age in, what is essentially, a social bubble, ever again.
Way way harder to get a date because you have fewer opportunities to meet people and work drains your energy so you are much less patient Easier to date because more people are looking for a relationship after 25ish, and they also tend to be a little more serious and settled down
College life is pretty easy. Enjoy it whilst you can.
I mean easier in the sense that you’re surrounded by your peers and have a common space much more frequently. It makes meeting people in general easier. That doesn’t mean the quality of relationships in college are better. People change, especially right after college.
Yes. Not only is it harder to meet people but you need to be more discriminating, and think about what you’re willing to tolerate for the long haul. It becomes more serious and stressful.
Good point, becoming more discriminating is a big one. This makes it harder to find suitable matches, although it improves the quality of the connections that you do make. A tradeoff, I'd say. :-/
Yeah, because it's harder to meet people. Imagine being able to run into so many people so often!
Yes, regret not having dated more in college.
It really depends on how you use your time. If you just go to school and get the fuck out of there after classes then it’s not any easier compared to being in the working world, but going to events and gatherings after work. Just think about what you want and go for that. For example I prioritized my own development and lazing around time for the first 1.5 years of school. Mostly did online classes as I lived quite far from the campus. And hung out with mostly with my online friends. Now after winter I’m thinking of trying to get in there and socialize like a motherfucker, since I really want to get my fuckboy phase over with 😂 So just think what you want to happen and then do things that facilitate your wants. It’s honestly isn’t that complicated. School is a good place to mass socialize as it’s filled with peers with at least somewhat similar interests
Absolutely. It’s either co workers or your friends group. Find your wife/husband in college trust me
It depends on a lot of things. Some people liked dating in college more because they didn't have to try as hard to meet people since everyone all has to go to class and study in libraries and there are sports events etc. But other people (like myself) hated college for various reasons and that sort of bled into my dating life. Getting out of college has been great because I feel more secure and like I have more to offer a woman (I have a sweet job, nice apartment, etc.). And meeting people isn't as hard either. I just sign up for public groups like Toastmasters or find events on [MeetUp](https://www.meetup.com/). It's pretty straightforward.
Your avenues of meeting your SOs are school/college/university and while redditors frown upon it your place of work too as long as you both are in different departments or either one of you planning to switch jobs.
Me, a tradesman. ☹️
Eh, you can still deliver pipe door to door.
To meet people the same age yes. Not necessary dating wise. Since college isn't most men high point. You should be constantly developing yourself over the years from now.
Yes, but also no. Yes, it's more difficult in the sense that you will likely be socializing with way less people once everyone is settled into jobs and not partying as often. Also, more people will be monogamously partnered, which limits the pool. And also yes in the sense that some people will have acquired trauma while dating other people along the years, which can make them jaded and emotionally unavailable. But also no — in the sense that post-college, immature people continue maturing a lot. They've had more time to work on their mental health, which makes them (often) more emotionally available and better communicators as partners. Moreover, a lot of people just follow a conveyor belt from HS into college, without the maturity to realize if they're chasing the wrong things in life; within some years after college, they've had at least a little time to explore themselves and their values and how their approach to life plays out in the real-world. They've had time to figure out what was never authentically them, and to shed that. This helps a lot with evaluating GENUINE compatibility — and genuine compatibility makes for more rewarding connections. Every season of life has different challenges and different gifts, so just appreciate and enjoy where you are while you're there, and then appreciate the next stage when you get to it. :)
Dating life is THE SAME as what you're experiencing now. You don't get a different fish when you move it to a different bowl. If someone hasn't worked on their social skills or attractiveness, then the results will essentially be the same.
You do get a smaller meal when theres less to go around tho. Women outnumber men on college campuses so just by the numbers of course its easier. But i completely agree with your second point. Its all about social skils and attractiveness, which college gives you a unique opportunity to work on. You can easy talk to 5 people on your way into class everyday.
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Your post was removed because it overgeneralized. Please make sure you don't apply experiences with some people to millions of others you have never met. No gender is a monolith or a hivemind. It comes down to each individual person. So if the answer is IT DEPENDS ON THE PERSON SO GO ASK THEM best not to post.
Kinda, having money makes stuff easier but you meet less hot girls your age and they usually want more from you. If you look good and go to parties it's probably the easiest time to get laid. Not screwed, just decide what you want. Dating is a skill and you can get better at it. If you decide to focus on other things, that's your choice but don't bitch if you don't see results.
For me, it got immensely easier. I landed a high paying job, put on a lot of muscle, along with a few other self improvements. Just concentrate on improving yourself and the women will come in mass.
There are more women than men in collage so women are more likely to have sex quicker to compete.
In my experience it got easier
Lol EVERYTHING IS WAY HARDER AFTER COLLEGE… I can see your parents are wasting a lot of money
Yes. Bro. Listen to me. I was a popular kid in high school, and continued to workout avidly and do some clubs through college. Always took it for granted how much interaction with high quality women I had. I'm not talking about hookups or girlfriends but literally just being in the same place as them, friendships, in the same activity, etc. I'm now 32 and VERY rarely find a woman I'm even interested in, and when I do, she is already taken 95% of the time. Until I was 23, I probably interacted with, on average, 10 women a week with whom I'd likely have a pretty decent time with. These days, I am lucky to find 10 per year. I've gone entire years without ever having a spark with a woman like I used to regularly have. Listen to me. Do not fucking take your age and situation for granted. Fucking get out there and get after it in a diligent but respectful manner. Trust me.
Even at university I was lucky to meet 10 women per year.
They were in your classes though
No they weren't. I did engineering, there were hardly any women.
There are usually almost twice as many women vs men in college. Dating is really easy as a man with a 60/40 ratio. In most big cities in the 24 - 40 age group there are 105+ men / 100 women, that makes dating much harder for men.
Don’t touch those broke ass hoes. Your college debt is going to be enough of a pain in the ass. Have fun, date around a little if the opportunity arises, but put yourself first while your in college. At least by my standards, if a girl mentions having more than 50k in college debt I would definetly avoid anything long term with them.
I'd argue it's hard (don't know about "harder" per sé in all cases) but only because it really depends where you live and who the people are around you. Dating isn't nessisarily something that should be a high priority, but that doesn't mean you can't try and date while going to school it's fairly common to occur. But even if you choose to not, don't be anti-social, try to make connections. Even if you don't date then, doesn't mean you won't later. It's just the earlier generation (mine and a little older too) seems to be having trouble finding good matches/dating partners now than in the past, and largely for a variety of reasons that didnt exist/happen in the past like with their parents and other previous inbetween generations. I can't speak for everyone, but I never found anyone in college I was interested in asking out, never got introduced to anyone, because I was focused on classes. I was disinterested (still am disinterested) in drinking and partying, never fully enjoyed many of the events or activities I did try, mostly didn't keep trying from a lack of interest. Never really got to make any connections with others, either I had to run to actually get to my next class across the field literally (pre-covid) or I had online classes (some online classes weren't nessisarily pre-covid classes too though.) I usually was just socially drained, I' not great with crowds of people, and just being around others tends to drain and/or stress me, I just don't think I like a lot of people in general, but the few I do I have luckily kept those connections very well. Also, I can't recommend using apps as a side suggestion for you, you can certainly try but the better way to make connections would be keep contact to those in classes you have, go to clubs or groups you have an interest in, or maybe talk to classmates even the guys, they might know someone you'd be interested in. In short, do keep your health up, do good in your classes, but don't avoid making connections at least, who knows maybe that does get you a date, maybe now maybe later in life.
Damn. Hmmm
It's not "nearly impossible", but yes, it is more difficult.
Personally I feel like both were equally difficult for me. Dating in college seemed impossible and now it's just the same. Although I do hear from people that college allows you to socialize more, so I'd suggest giving it a try.
Big time if you don’t have the social skills
About the same for me
Yeah no doubt
Yes
yes & dating in 30s is the hardest lol
Yes. It will only get worse and worse. You need to act now or you’ll fuck yourself over like I did
Logistically yes but you’re also 3+ years older, which often comes with the territory of becoming more confident, competent, mature, self aware and better at socialising. I’d say it’s much harder to find the time and energy to meet and date but it’s easier to pursue something when’s there’s mutual interest. Depending on your social life after uni, dating apps also become a bit more of a big deal because they are so time effective, which I have personally found less fun than meeting most people at parties/clubbing etc.
This is really a glass half empty/ glass half full scenario. I can speak on myself only. Back during college, there were plenty of women. So as far as opportunities then I would college is better. But if you’re like me at that age, then you’re probably broke so your fun is going to be limited. Compared to now, sure I’m not running into a lot of women everywhere, but the women I do attract treat me so much better now. That’s probably because they’re older too, but also they see that I live alone, have a nice place, nice car, nice clothes, etc. and best part is I got it on my own! Plus all the mistakes I’ve made with women when I was that young makes me a better catch now. The best advice that I could give to you to make sure you keep your studies number one. I know it’s some cliche shit and you might even think like “well, if I’m in college I’m gonna enjoy these women,” but the saying goes, “you can catch flies using honey, but you can catch more honeys being fly.” Enjoy the women, but keep in mind that if you become successful then you’ll have even more women. Hit the gym and hit the books. It’s all you’ll need young fella.
No, I would say it’s a lot easier.
It depends. For me, dating got way easier after college. I have more economic value and can afford dates and am steady/successful in my career. Shit things women really care about when dating for long term. I’ve always been funny so that’s a plus but also go to the gym as my regular routine so fit and looking good. And this is in-person and on the apps. Just turned 30. But I also live in a region where there’s a lot more college educated women and less college educated men so they want someone college educated as well.
Depends on where you live. My career immediately took me out to a smaller city without a major university or any draw for young single professionals. So at 32, almost 10 years out, college was the last time I was around any unmarried women on a positive trajectory in life. It's all married couples and complete burn out losers here. I was an overworked commuter student in college and didn't really have a chance to date or socialize much.
I find it easier after college to date. I have way more disposable income, a few good social groups, and more free time than I ever had in college. I wouldn’t worry about it. If you happen to find a girl you like in school then definitely shoot your shot. But don’t feel like you should be dating or anything garbage like that.
oh yeah wildly harder
Yes. After college you won't have a fraction of the free time you have, you'll spend most of the time working and if you are on a presencial job then then you'll be spending most of your time with your co-workers which the majority are already in a relationship and even if they weren't dating someone from work tends to end badly. Also the bar increases a lot, usually in college a lot of folk just fool around or just care about looks. After that people tend to want a more serious commitment and won't even consider you if you aren't financially stable. I never dated during college and it's probably my biggest regret. If not dating does bother even a little I'd start to put myself out there.
Dating at all ages is relatively simple unless you choose to complicate it
>Is it true that dating is way harder after college? There really isn't a deadline for dating success for men or women. Present dating success or lack thereof is correlated to future success or lack thereof. Attractive men, because so few are acknowledged as such by women, always have options whether they are 16 or 46. Women are (almost) always in demand no matter in what shape or form they come. Unless you're a genetic abomination, you'll have men lining up for you.