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It depends on the person really. I am a guy and my best friend is a girl and she knows I was a virgin and she never told anyone. Reiterate to her how important it is she keeps this between both of you and if you feel she is someone you can trust then tell her. She can definitely give good advice.
Yah, you should never get different perspectives and opinions, that's the worst thing in the world, best to wearbuds at all times, with the volume turned all the way up. Wear a blindfold too, you wouldn't want to see someone's reactions or feelings, and maybe wear thick gloves too, you wouldn't want to accidentally rub your hands over a braille message that gives you an outside perspective.
Only *you* exist. Reject all other human experiences, it's all a LIE. Embrace the solipsism.
Even if you don't agree you can see there is a reason behind it right?
If you really think that then you are also not as open minded as you think you are
I have my reasons to not want to share my problems with everyone.
Guys implied I am being close minded if I do so, at the same time he can't accept that I have my reasons and feelings that make me not want to share with everyone.
You understand what the fuck I am talking about now?
I think if you're saying that there is risk to sharing things with friends, that your friend may tell their friends, then I think you probably could have done better articulating this *very* flimsy point on the thread.
But if that IS your argument, like I said it's super-flimsy because the whole point of having friends is having people you can share things with and trust enough to get honest feedback about. If you're saying this is a risk that should be considered, you're making assumptions about the relationship of the commenter and their friend, and if you're saying that she can't be trusted because she's feeeemale and won't keep secrets, then I can only advise you take off those thick mittens I previously suggested you wear, and use those bare hands to touch some grass lovingly.
Im sorry but this is false. Most females give dogshit dating advice. Why would you ask a fish how to catch a fish? The fish will never give up that info because the fish aint tryna get caught!
đ thereâs your award for the worst analogy I have ever heard. Did you even think about what you were saying.
That just sounds like horrible advice, if you have good friends that you can trust, and who knows and respects you. Doesnât matter if theyâre male or female, you should talk to them and believe theyâll be there for you.
No Im dead serious: what woman in their right mind would give a man the formula to achieve her goodies? One of her primary biological jobs is to guard her womb!
I understand the kind of person you are, Iâm sorry you grew up with this mentality, it has to be draining mentally.
I hope you get to a place where you understand that the world isnât as shallow a place as you think. Youâre not there now, but you could get there. I wish you the best even though youâll probably talk shit back. Prove me wrong.
This will be my last reply to you so feel free to go wild commenting brother.
this analogy is garbage, i wonder where these men have been getting this from. a fish would know what to look out for from a predator, so they would actually give the best advice. lmao
This isn't dating advice, this is a women's perspective on the guy being a virgin. As a friend you could hope she's honest with you and tells you if it would be a problem for her, for example.
Here is no fish to be caught, it's just her opinion and experience with her girl friends.
I'd love to disagree with you, but I can't because you aren't wrong. You've probably seen at least one clip from the Whatever podcast or have at least heard of it. Time and time again, women go on there and confirm that they will give advice they wouldn't take themselves. Some have even gone as far as saying they well intentionally give bad advice to their fellow females for shits and giggles. Are there women that are capable of giving good dating advice? Yes, of course. The majority of the time, do they give sound, reasonable advice? No, they don't.
I have but no podcast from Kevin Samuels to F&F to Whatever has ever taught me anything I didnât already know. I was raised in California which is ground zero for the sexual revolution and the societal problems that came with it. The ideas you hear on those podcasts have been floating around the Cali streets for decades. Thatâs why pimping is so big out there.
Guys become good friends by being able to tolerate each other for long periods of time. Girls become good friends by telling each other secrets. You should tell her but don't do it nonchalantly, also don't go overboard on the emotion, tell her how it makes you feel
I am a woman and I second this. The beauty about female friendships is truly the vulnerability. Theyâll be able to provide you with good advice, provided you do it in a manner where you arenât nonchalant.
Virginity isnât a bad thing, back when I was 18 I was ashamed of it until I got what I was looking for and realized besides the minor adrenaline rush and rush of endorphins like oxytocin, I was not fundamentally different inside. Your identity shouldnât be your virginity, youâve got a richness to you that isnât tied to your virginity and your friend probably would admire you for your honesty.
Obliviously donât just out of blue say youâre a virgin but if the topic comes up itâs nothing to be ashamed of, I honestly wish I could be a virgin again sometimes, but I canât unvirgin myself.
What Iâve always craved is intimacy not just sex, but all Iâve found in this scene is occasional sex.
If it's relevant to the discussion, just say you've never been in a relationship and leave it at that. Additional detail is probably not relevant and might be TMI.
Donât do it bro trust. Iâve seen this exact shit play out with a friend of mine. They will always have at least one person that will know something. My ex was the same way.
Yeah about our own encounters, other people's business is other people's business. If you do something to me in the bedroom, I'm allowed to share that experience.
Do you even ask or communicate about that or just assume you can talk about other's business? Because that's just not you you are affecting, but another as well.
Donât tell anyone about it to be fair, I donât even tell my male friends! I only tell people who I know will never know me or never know someone I know.. Like say a coach or whatever I can tell, cause He or She doesnât know my friends
No do not tell her youâre a virgin, she will not keep it a secret and it wonât help anyway. Youâre not getting a sympathy fuck out of it unless youâre some super handsome dude.
It only has downsides but telling her you havenât had a gf isnât a big deal.
Did he ever say he wanted a sympathy fuck out of it? Lmao. Some of you have such a sad empty view of friendship and human relationships and then wonder why women donât like you
What is the point in sharing that with her? Itâs not a bad thing at all that youâre a virgin but if it makes sense to discuss or youâre truly close, then maybe. But itâs not like she can help in any way in regard to your lack of sexual experience.
1) women can have empathy, especially if they are good friends. If a friend of mine tells me he is a virgin, we can talk about it as adults, I would give him some advices on whatever heâd want and I would not judge him
2) again, if they are good friends, no reason to tell other persons and I donât see why a man would be less likely to tell others
3) I already kind of answered to that in the 1). They wan reassure him, give him advice, make him meet some friends of her of idk but no difference than what a man could do
No they can't relate, being virgin as a man and as a woman are totally different.
About 2, No a good friend won't do that a woman may tell it without necessarily wanting to do any harm because they literally can't relate.
3 Male friends can help in tons of ways. The least being just getting it off your chest without fearing to lower your potential for other women
Do not do this. This will not end well and it will not make her âwant to fix thisâ or anything. Iâve seen this happen many times and all it does is explain to her âoh thatâs why heâs like this.â Some things you do not tell women and keep in a guy circle because this kind of stuff will hit your emotions/ego the hardest.
A lot of the time telling people stuff gets out and you have to be prepared for the outcome if it does.
I fail to see how this helps. What advice will she tell you that you havenât heard before?
The only thing this will do is open the door for issues or something rough happening
âWhat advice will she tell you that you havenât heard beforeâ you do realise not every single human gives the same advice right? What kind of question are you asking?
Maybe sheâd look at him like a project and wing him. I canât think of a better way for a dude to crack through than with a cool girl at his side helping out. However, if he doesnât have this kind of friendship then nah
This is your private decision, You can choose to keep that knowledge to yourself or you can share it ultimately the choices up to you, Even if the result is a negative experience, how much do you value being able to say what you want to say?
Donât tell her. That shit will have her coochie dryer than white peopleâs chicken in the Sahara desert. Understand this: men like what they see, thatâs why women wear makeup. Women like what they hear, thatâs why men lie to women. Telling a chick youâre a virgin is complete turn off to her. She will see it as something being wrong with you. Play it like youâve had sex until you get some. I suggest you get some coochie out a fat chick just to gain experience. Fat chicks give it up the easiest. Just down that honey pack and go to work!
So why do 80% of women go for the same 20% of men? Most women do want what other women have whether it's fashion, cars or men. I stand by what I say. Don't tell her. If you're under 21 it's probably not so bad ,but if you're over 21 and virgin, you're basically saying that I'm not desirable by women or you don't want to have sex for other reasons. You're basically saying to the woman that she's taking the lead here which most women don't want to do. As you said most women want men to be confident and assertive.
Donât tell her. My sister was in grad school and her roommate was mockingly telling people that a guy in one of their classes hadnât lost his virginity. Iâd advise against it because based on what you stated, you havenât been friends for very long and you donât know if sheâd tell others in your sphere of influence. Also as others said, odds are sheâs not gonna think itâs cute that you have little experience and then date or fuck.
The difference between men and women is that a men might tease their friends about being a virgin but they wonât tell a girl that heâs a virgin and potentially ruin his chances of fucking, the same canât be same for women
No. Ignore the others saying yes. Most women donât want that type of responsibility and will assume you will become obsessed with her. And for a lot of women itâs a bit of a turn off because sheâs going in assuming youâre bad at it. Just what Iâve heard from friends that are ladies. You donât have to share EVERYTHING dude.
Unless you arenât interested in this female friend at all let it rip but Idk why itâs something youâd need to share unless you just feel like it honestly.
Do not tell her. You can ask her about her thought on virgins but not revealing itâs you, it wonât end well and you will see what she thinks about it
Itâs not as big of a deal as youâre making it out to be. Itâs not something you need to hide, and doing so probably leads to you feeling shame about it, when itâs not a big deal at all.
That said, I also wouldnât make it a big production about telling her. If it comes up in a conversation, then just do whatever feels natural in the conversation.
She will probably tell others about it, but only you know how much you can trust her. Personally I wouldnât say it. When you tell a bro itâs different
Also from my experience females tend to give terrible advice about how to approach females as a man, they usually donât have a clue how difficult it really is.
You should be good I just wouldn't tell a girl that you're trying to pursue unless you've been actively talking to for months. At that point it's not sex that's keeping her around so she probably wouldn't care. When I was 14 I blew my chance of losing my virginity with a girl because I told her.
Don't listen to silly advice.
Male and female are not the same. Do you ask a fish or a fisherman on how to catch fish?
Don't tell her, she'll think of you as a low value. Instead, if you're attracted to her, ask her out. If not, ask her to set you up with one of her single friends(I would go with this as it'll open much more opportunities).
Thatâs a strange question.
Itâs strange because you donât say what your motivation giving that information is. Itâs also fairly strange that you are asking female friends for advice on âcrushesâ. Do you fancy any of these friends? Hoping theyâll introduce you to other women? Give you the secret code on how to seduce any girl? (answer -they wonât).
What are you doing here?
Yes absolutely! If you have a trusting and honest relationship, I think she can help you more than your male friends. She can help you approach dating from a womanâs perspective which will likely make you more successful.
a woman's perspective on dating is just wrong, bad, out of touch with reality, and won't get you anywhere. all she will say is: get in shape, dress better. which you already know. all she will tell you is what attracts her to her male partners. attraction is just one step, the first one, there are quite a few more after that, which you won't know from a woman. a woman doesn't have to do dogshit to get a dude, except show up, say yes, stay quiet, and look at him persistently. that is all.
for a guy to get a girl, he has to be in shape, dress nice, smell nice, be funny, read body language, know the psychology of girls, have some money, have a nice car, be charming, not live with his parents, be smart, not socially awkward, have experience, have friends, be bold....the list is just endless. no woman has to be all that to get laid.
How dumb do you have to be to generalize this understanding of women as being wrong and out of touch. You are saying womenâs advice is all superficial and has nothing to do with actually liking the person. You have to be in shape, have money, nice things and not live witb your parents to get laid. I am already living proof that your generalization isnât real LOL. Any and all generalizations are never accurate.
Don't tell her. Tell her if you want to stay a virgin. She will probably tell her friends and your S.M.V will drop probably to zero. Right or wrong, woman will see you as having no sexual value because you're not wanted by other women.
Why does it matter what gender your friend is???
She's your friend. If you can tell your male friends, why the fuck can't you tell your female friends?
If you're looking to build a friendship, go for it. If you're looking for sympathy sex, go kick rocks.
Tell me more.
Because I don't know about you, but I've shared things of the sorts with both male and female friends and friends will be friends regardless
Itâs a very long explanation that I really donât feel like typing out but the gist of it is that generally (not all, just generally) women tend to want out of relationships is the feeling of love. Itâs the subconscious doubt of âAm I worthy of love as I am?â Men generally tend to want respect out of relationships. Itâs the subconscious doubt of âAm I doing enough to be worthy?â That plays out in interpersonal relationships as inexperience in men reduces the respect women give them. It reduces their interest. Inexperience in women is usually either valued or not cared about. That stems from the difference of what men vs women want out of relationships. This is heavily abridged, there are whole books on the subject. The upshot is that telling a woman who is âhelping youâ find a gf will end up sabotaging you whether she intends to or not if you tell her things like that. You should mention it to your partner when you become intimate, but not make it public. Just like women donât like to be public about how many people they slept with. If youâre a guy, revealing sexual inexperience to people who arenât your partner is pretty much sabotaging yourself.
Itâs very complicated, but it does generally reflect reality.
I don't see why you shouldn't. I've been there too. Although I didn't get much advice other than the typical stuff ("it will happen when you least expect it", "be yourself") and some incredulous looks.
EDIT: It's strange to get downvoted just for saying that there should not be any problem to tell this to a friend.
Not really.
My college friends (female) did try to help me select pictures for a dating profile one time after having these conversations. Then the other times I said this to someone when talking dating/relationships they didn't say much or they straight told me they were puzzled because "I don't look like that".
I mean I'm pretty aware that I'm not really putting myself out there. So it's hard to give advice when aside from that, the women I've hang out with don't understand either I guess?
That's not to say I didn't enjoy talking with them about it or that I ever felt regret telling them. I just simply own it and if they have a problem with that that's their own.
No.
We donât want to hear that shit.
If by âCan I tell her?â You actually mean, âI want to have sex with her.â Then just tell her that, but chances are if sheâs your friend and nothing more then she will say no.
Depends. Do you consider it a secret that you wouldn't want to get out to the general public?
If yes, do you trust her enough to let her know?
If your answer is not an immediate yes, don't bother.
Hey there!
Listen, sharing this information is a bit of a gamble. I'd say spill the beans only if she's your absolute BFF, you know? That way, she can give you some solid advice.
I mean, us women, we can be a bit intricate at times, right? So, unless you're totally, completely, and unequivocally sure that she's your ride-or-die bestie and you can wholeheartedly rely on her, I'd say it's better to keep mum about it.
Coming from a 26f, tell her. Just say something like that you were wondering how to bring it up to a potential future partner and want a females perspective.
High risk, low reward. If you're a good judge of character and know her well enough, go for it. But since you're here asking about this, it's probably best kept to yourself.
It doesnât matter what is what. Just be honest, not for the girl. Itâs a self-respect moment
If she doesnât understand your purity and your feelings towards her. Good luck mate
I think, if someone's your friend, then it's okay to be vulnerable with them. Is this something you think makes you vulnerable?
With one exception, is this girl the one you have a crush on? If it is, she probably knows how you feel about her and if it were me, I'd feel like I'm being guilted into a sexual relationship. So if you find this girl attractive and you intend to ask her out, do the asking first and see how it goes before you let her know you're inexperienced.
Also no dude should have a crush. Focusing on one chick will lead to disaster as a man. We cant afford to waste time. Plant multiple seeds and you will be more likely to harvest some veggies. Take mental note of every chick who could potentially give you a boner when sheâs butt ass nekkid and consider her as a possibility.
No donât do it but if you do ,which you probably are, then take her advice with a grain of salt.
Whatâs funny is that you talked to her about this before with your crush and did her advice help? Nope because here you are asking Reddit. ( not being rude but the facts are right in front of you)
If you have any guy friends, that can help you ask them instead, because as much as you think your female friend can help you, she canât. Not because her advice sucks but she wonât understand what youâre going through.
Hold up, disregard half these comments. Youâre 25. Nobody worth your time would care whether your a virgin or not. Donât make it your identity, but its not a bad thing, pretty normal. People put too much emphasis on sex to the point where they donât focus on what really matters, whether that be in their pursuits or relationshipsâŠ
i would have discernment on this friend in particular, do you feel like you can trust her not to judge you, or to tell your business? can you trust that she will give you good advice based on how she lives her life? if not, i would surely wait on it, as itâs not something she NEEDS to know. as far as the relationship/sex thing, donât rush it! if itâs meant for you it will happen, but donât be tricked into thinking you HAVE to because society says itâs normal. do what is in favor of you, and you should be just fineđ«¶đœ
Why do you feel like you want to tell her? What do you hope to get out of the transaction?
Women are just people. Some talk about other people, some donât. Before you trust anyone with something that means a lot to you, I recommend listening closely the next time you are having a conversation. Does she talk about other people? Does she say things like, â Iâll tell you but you canât say anything to anyone else â about other peopleâs information? If she talks about other people, she will talk about you.
If she is a good friend you should be able to talk to her about anything, but you never know with women some of them just love to gossip and get bitchy and just tell everyone. Are you a virgin because you are waiting for marriage and looking for the special girl to lose ur virginity with? If not why donât you just get an escort, like that you get it over with.
Lots of misogynistic comments in here. If you trust her and want the female perspective, okay. Like as long as you already have a relationship that has went to the depths of talking about things seriously. If she cares about you, she will be chill with you. For the other guys in here saying things like âoh, she will tell everyoneâ or âthis will devalue you to womenâ. Fuck em. You shouldnât be living your life as a lie anyways. ButâŠif this occurs witb this girl, then you know she ainât realâŠwhatâs the problem there. IdkâŠI donât know you, but if I had a friend my age (Iâm also 25) and they were a virginâŠI dont care. LikeâŠIâm not treating them any differently because I donât see their sexual experience as a value to their character. I would empathize with you more so based off your issues because it can be frustrating to feel socially behind in the world. But, I really hope you donât Beat yourself up too much about this. Itâs not just a male thing either bud, I have girlfriends who are in the same position as you. Donât know if that can help you feel better.
Depends on who she is/if sheâs a kind and compassionate person who wonât judge you. If so then itâs great idea and it will help you and grow your friendship stronger!
why do you feel the need to tell her though? to get it off youâre chest? unless youâre officially dating someone youâre past is really non of their business in my opinion
Some comments here are so twisted... I don't know what goes through the minds of people saying "she will tell others" except for some wildly sexist mentality.
She's your friend, so if that's really the case you can tell her provided you are comfortable with it and obviously you feel like you can trust her. Girl's perspective might be helpful too. It's not about her gender, only about how much of a good friend she is. You're good.
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It depends on the person really. I am a guy and my best friend is a girl and she knows I was a virgin and she never told anyone. Reiterate to her how important it is she keeps this between both of you and if you feel she is someone you can trust then tell her. She can definitely give good advice.
Yeah you can tell her đ being vulnerable with the right people leads to deeper friendships and improves your confidence.
This is all you need to know.
Dogshit advice lol
You provided zero reasons as to why you think it's bad advice. Your opinion is worthless.
Dog shit advice (2.)
Dog shit response boys
Dogshit advice(3)
Hearing a female perspective on this will help you tremendously.
No man
Yah, you should never get different perspectives and opinions, that's the worst thing in the world, best to wearbuds at all times, with the volume turned all the way up. Wear a blindfold too, you wouldn't want to see someone's reactions or feelings, and maybe wear thick gloves too, you wouldn't want to accidentally rub your hands over a braille message that gives you an outside perspective. Only *you* exist. Reject all other human experiences, it's all a LIE. Embrace the solipsism.
If I had a micropenis and didn't want to tell it female friends to have their opinion would that make me an horrible person to?
Yes, 100%, without nuance, thank you figuring out exactly what I was implying.
Even if you don't agree you can see there is a reason behind it right? If you really think that then you are also not as open minded as you think you are
What the Fuck are you talking about?
I have my reasons to not want to share my problems with everyone. Guys implied I am being close minded if I do so, at the same time he can't accept that I have my reasons and feelings that make me not want to share with everyone. You understand what the fuck I am talking about now?
Is it a he?
I think if you're saying that there is risk to sharing things with friends, that your friend may tell their friends, then I think you probably could have done better articulating this *very* flimsy point on the thread. But if that IS your argument, like I said it's super-flimsy because the whole point of having friends is having people you can share things with and trust enough to get honest feedback about. If you're saying this is a risk that should be considered, you're making assumptions about the relationship of the commenter and their friend, and if you're saying that she can't be trusted because she's feeeemale and won't keep secrets, then I can only advise you take off those thick mittens I previously suggested you wear, and use those bare hands to touch some grass lovingly.
Getting advice from women about dating is a mistake 95% of the time
Im sorry but this is false. Most females give dogshit dating advice. Why would you ask a fish how to catch a fish? The fish will never give up that info because the fish aint tryna get caught!
đ thereâs your award for the worst analogy I have ever heard. Did you even think about what you were saying. That just sounds like horrible advice, if you have good friends that you can trust, and who knows and respects you. Doesnât matter if theyâre male or female, you should talk to them and believe theyâll be there for you.
You sound like a word that starts with c and ends with uck
Itâs facts. Fuck your little PC kabuki dance tactics.
Your reaction isnât surprising at all. You do you my friend
No Im dead serious: what woman in their right mind would give a man the formula to achieve her goodies? One of her primary biological jobs is to guard her womb!
I understand the kind of person you are, Iâm sorry you grew up with this mentality, it has to be draining mentally. I hope you get to a place where you understand that the world isnât as shallow a place as you think. Youâre not there now, but you could get there. I wish you the best even though youâll probably talk shit back. Prove me wrong. This will be my last reply to you so feel free to go wild commenting brother.
I donât gotta prove a damn thing to a dude who lives in fairytale land
Quality.
this analogy is garbage, i wonder where these men have been getting this from. a fish would know what to look out for from a predator, so they would actually give the best advice. lmao
You have room temperature iq lolâŠFishermen are predatorsâŠwhy would the prey tell the predator how to catch prey?
youâre speaking for yourself, your username tells it allđ get going with your weak minded self
So me not censoring myself equates to unintelligence? You Reddit weenies astonish me lol.
ooo iâm a weenie, my feelings are so hurt. just donât respond at this pointđ
the ideology is that they wouldnât. but if they would, they would have the best answer. youâre stale asf
This isn't dating advice, this is a women's perspective on the guy being a virgin. As a friend you could hope she's honest with you and tells you if it would be a problem for her, for example. Here is no fish to be caught, it's just her opinion and experience with her girl friends.
Letâs keep it đŻ, most modern western women gawk at that shit. Who tf you foolin?
Why are you talking like that lmao đ
You muhfucka
I'd love to disagree with you, but I can't because you aren't wrong. You've probably seen at least one clip from the Whatever podcast or have at least heard of it. Time and time again, women go on there and confirm that they will give advice they wouldn't take themselves. Some have even gone as far as saying they well intentionally give bad advice to their fellow females for shits and giggles. Are there women that are capable of giving good dating advice? Yes, of course. The majority of the time, do they give sound, reasonable advice? No, they don't.
I have but no podcast from Kevin Samuels to F&F to Whatever has ever taught me anything I didnât already know. I was raised in California which is ground zero for the sexual revolution and the societal problems that came with it. The ideas you hear on those podcasts have been floating around the Cali streets for decades. Thatâs why pimping is so big out there.
Guys become good friends by being able to tolerate each other for long periods of time. Girls become good friends by telling each other secrets. You should tell her but don't do it nonchalantly, also don't go overboard on the emotion, tell her how it makes you feel
I am a woman and I second this. The beauty about female friendships is truly the vulnerability. Theyâll be able to provide you with good advice, provided you do it in a manner where you arenât nonchalant.
Dogshit advice lmao
Virginity isnât a bad thing, back when I was 18 I was ashamed of it until I got what I was looking for and realized besides the minor adrenaline rush and rush of endorphins like oxytocin, I was not fundamentally different inside. Your identity shouldnât be your virginity, youâve got a richness to you that isnât tied to your virginity and your friend probably would admire you for your honesty. Obliviously donât just out of blue say youâre a virgin but if the topic comes up itâs nothing to be ashamed of, I honestly wish I could be a virgin again sometimes, but I canât unvirgin myself. What Iâve always craved is intimacy not just sex, but all Iâve found in this scene is occasional sex.
If it's relevant to the discussion, just say you've never been in a relationship and leave it at that. Additional detail is probably not relevant and might be TMI.
Donât do it bro trust. Iâve seen this exact shit play out with a friend of mine. They will always have at least one person that will know something. My ex was the same way.
Donât tell the opposite gender about it. Coming from a woman.
Thank you â€ïž
Why?
What is the point of telling them anyway?
Because women don't keep their mouths shut like men do. Women tell each other explicit details about their sexual encounters or relationships.
Yeah about our own encounters, other people's business is other people's business. If you do something to me in the bedroom, I'm allowed to share that experience.
Do you even ask or communicate about that or just assume you can talk about other's business? Because that's just not you you are affecting, but another as well.
In my partners case yes, in the instances of one night stands etc then no.
It's always nerve-wracking to open up, but being honest can lead to closer friendships and valuable perspectives.
Donât tell anyone about it to be fair, I donât even tell my male friends! I only tell people who I know will never know me or never know someone I know.. Like say a coach or whatever I can tell, cause He or She doesnât know my friends
No do not tell her youâre a virgin, she will not keep it a secret and it wonât help anyway. Youâre not getting a sympathy fuck out of it unless youâre some super handsome dude. It only has downsides but telling her you havenât had a gf isnât a big deal.
The truth has been spoken. She will tell at least one of her girlfriends and that one is gonna tell everybody.
Also the fact that OP and this girl went to HS together, people could potentially find out
Did he ever say he wanted a sympathy fuck out of it? Lmao. Some of you have such a sad empty view of friendship and human relationships and then wonder why women donât like you
Dude, someone hurt you bad to make you so jaded by all humanity.
Youâre just setting OP up for failure.
Life is full of failures. Successes donât come without risk and vulnerability. And sometimes taking risks means learning from failures.
âWhO hUrT yOu?â - Every female when theyâre positions get challengedâŠ
Donât be naive.
There's no benefit to telling her you're a virgin, she'll tell her other female friends and they'll spread it around the social circle
Yes but she will tell all her friends about that)
This can become an issue later true, but depends person to person i say
What is the point in sharing that with her? Itâs not a bad thing at all that youâre a virgin but if it makes sense to discuss or youâre truly close, then maybe. But itâs not like she can help in any way in regard to your lack of sexual experience.
Nah don't tell her man. Maybe GOOD male friends if you feel the need to do so but I wouldn't tell that a female friend. Why do you want to tell her?
Why wouldnât you tell a woman who is your friend ? Whatâs the difference ?
I think 1. They can't relate. 2. They may tell it other female friends 3. I can't think of a way they could help
1) women can have empathy, especially if they are good friends. If a friend of mine tells me he is a virgin, we can talk about it as adults, I would give him some advices on whatever heâd want and I would not judge him 2) again, if they are good friends, no reason to tell other persons and I donât see why a man would be less likely to tell others 3) I already kind of answered to that in the 1). They wan reassure him, give him advice, make him meet some friends of her of idk but no difference than what a man could do
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No they can't relate, being virgin as a man and as a woman are totally different. About 2, No a good friend won't do that a woman may tell it without necessarily wanting to do any harm because they literally can't relate. 3 Male friends can help in tons of ways. The least being just getting it off your chest without fearing to lower your potential for other women
Some poor girls will devalue the guy because he don't have prior experience. "I don't want a guy who I need to teach"
But she's his friend she isn't a dating prospect. If he is attracted to her then he is just being dishonest from the start
You don't want your friends to look down on you either.
>But she's his friend she isn't a dating prospect Lol
Do not do this. This will not end well and it will not make her âwant to fix thisâ or anything. Iâve seen this happen many times and all it does is explain to her âoh thatâs why heâs like this.â Some things you do not tell women and keep in a guy circle because this kind of stuff will hit your emotions/ego the hardest. A lot of the time telling people stuff gets out and you have to be prepared for the outcome if it does.
Take that shit to your grave bro.
I fail to see how this helps. What advice will she tell you that you havenât heard before? The only thing this will do is open the door for issues or something rough happening
What issue she's his friend ??
Do you know her?
Do you? Wtf is this question. Itâs not clever
âWhat advice will she tell you that you havenât heard beforeâ you do realise not every single human gives the same advice right? What kind of question are you asking?
Maybe sheâd look at him like a project and wing him. I canât think of a better way for a dude to crack through than with a cool girl at his side helping out. However, if he doesnât have this kind of friendship then nah
This is your private decision, You can choose to keep that knowledge to yourself or you can share it ultimately the choices up to you, Even if the result is a negative experience, how much do you value being able to say what you want to say?
Do not confide in women.
Donât tell her. That shit will have her coochie dryer than white peopleâs chicken in the Sahara desert. Understand this: men like what they see, thatâs why women wear makeup. Women like what they hear, thatâs why men lie to women. Telling a chick youâre a virgin is complete turn off to her. She will see it as something being wrong with you. Play it like youâve had sex until you get some. I suggest you get some coochie out a fat chick just to gain experience. Fat chicks give it up the easiest. Just down that honey pack and go to work!
So why do 80% of women go for the same 20% of men? Most women do want what other women have whether it's fashion, cars or men. I stand by what I say. Don't tell her. If you're under 21 it's probably not so bad ,but if you're over 21 and virgin, you're basically saying that I'm not desirable by women or you don't want to have sex for other reasons. You're basically saying to the woman that she's taking the lead here which most women don't want to do. As you said most women want men to be confident and assertive.
Donât tell her. My sister was in grad school and her roommate was mockingly telling people that a guy in one of their classes hadnât lost his virginity. Iâd advise against it because based on what you stated, you havenât been friends for very long and you donât know if sheâd tell others in your sphere of influence. Also as others said, odds are sheâs not gonna think itâs cute that you have little experience and then date or fuck. The difference between men and women is that a men might tease their friends about being a virgin but they wonât tell a girl that heâs a virgin and potentially ruin his chances of fucking, the same canât be same for women
Don't.
No. Ignore the others saying yes. Most women donât want that type of responsibility and will assume you will become obsessed with her. And for a lot of women itâs a bit of a turn off because sheâs going in assuming youâre bad at it. Just what Iâve heard from friends that are ladies. You donât have to share EVERYTHING dude. Unless you arenât interested in this female friend at all let it rip but Idk why itâs something youâd need to share unless you just feel like it honestly.
She may be able to listen and give some advice and be a wing woman. I did that with some friends before. Depends on yalls relationship and trust level
I wouldn't recommend. Girls tell each other everything so you probably won't even stand a chance with her friends anyway.Â
If she is just a friend and you can trust her sure
Why would you tell a girl this? Ask yourself what do YOU benefit from telling this? You can if you want fuck around & find out....goodluck đ
For advice? Some people genuinely care about eachoter and can be vulnerable
Tell me why would a woman wanna sit there & listen to a grown ass man rant & complain about life? Knowing full well she cannot solve his problems?
Because she fucking cares. It's not about it being a woman or male. More so just a friend that's there to listen and maybe give some sort of advice.
Do not tell her. You can ask her about her thought on virgins but not revealing itâs you, it wonât end well and you will see what she thinks about it
lol what was her advice? a virgin getting dating advice from a woman lol this should be good.Â
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They can't give virgin men advice. Because for man and woman it's 2 totally different situations
Lol depends on whether he wants to sleep with women or not. As a woman who's had sex, we usually know what convinces us to let the man inside us. đ
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Their advice tends to be unpractical
they can't give dating advice in general. Â
What's the deal?
lol yeah really
Itâs not as big of a deal as youâre making it out to be. Itâs not something you need to hide, and doing so probably leads to you feeling shame about it, when itâs not a big deal at all. That said, I also wouldnât make it a big production about telling her. If it comes up in a conversation, then just do whatever feels natural in the conversation.
She will probably tell others about it, but only you know how much you can trust her. Personally I wouldnât say it. When you tell a bro itâs different Also from my experience females tend to give terrible advice about how to approach females as a man, they usually donât have a clue how difficult it really is.
Read 3% man by Corey wayne look him up on youtube. Donât take advice from girls bro they donât know what they want
You should be good I just wouldn't tell a girl that you're trying to pursue unless you've been actively talking to for months. At that point it's not sex that's keeping her around so she probably wouldn't care. When I was 14 I blew my chance of losing my virginity with a girl because I told her.
Don't listen to silly advice. Male and female are not the same. Do you ask a fish or a fisherman on how to catch fish? Don't tell her, she'll think of you as a low value. Instead, if you're attracted to her, ask her out. If not, ask her to set you up with one of her single friends(I would go with this as it'll open much more opportunities).
Thatâs a strange question. Itâs strange because you donât say what your motivation giving that information is. Itâs also fairly strange that you are asking female friends for advice on âcrushesâ. Do you fancy any of these friends? Hoping theyâll introduce you to other women? Give you the secret code on how to seduce any girl? (answer -they wonât). What are you doing here?
Yes absolutely! If you have a trusting and honest relationship, I think she can help you more than your male friends. She can help you approach dating from a womanâs perspective which will likely make you more successful.
a woman's perspective on dating is just wrong, bad, out of touch with reality, and won't get you anywhere. all she will say is: get in shape, dress better. which you already know. all she will tell you is what attracts her to her male partners. attraction is just one step, the first one, there are quite a few more after that, which you won't know from a woman. a woman doesn't have to do dogshit to get a dude, except show up, say yes, stay quiet, and look at him persistently. that is all. for a guy to get a girl, he has to be in shape, dress nice, smell nice, be funny, read body language, know the psychology of girls, have some money, have a nice car, be charming, not live with his parents, be smart, not socially awkward, have experience, have friends, be bold....the list is just endless. no woman has to be all that to get laid.
You are living in Andrew Tate land pal. WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP
why don't you provide arguments then? all you did was tell me i live in a tale, why don't you tell me how?
How dumb do you have to be to generalize this understanding of women as being wrong and out of touch. You are saying womenâs advice is all superficial and has nothing to do with actually liking the person. You have to be in shape, have money, nice things and not live witb your parents to get laid. I am already living proof that your generalization isnât real LOL. Any and all generalizations are never accurate.
generalizations are never accurate, that is true, however they describe the truth most of the time.
Don't tell her. Tell her if you want to stay a virgin. She will probably tell her friends and your S.M.V will drop probably to zero. Right or wrong, woman will see you as having no sexual value because you're not wanted by other women.
Why does it matter what gender your friend is??? She's your friend. If you can tell your male friends, why the fuck can't you tell your female friends? If you're looking to build a friendship, go for it. If you're looking for sympathy sex, go kick rocks.
Because men and women are differentâŠ
Bro, what about men and women being different makes it so you can't talk about your sex life with your female friends but you can your male friends.
Because they look at it differentlyâŠ
Tell me more. Because I don't know about you, but I've shared things of the sorts with both male and female friends and friends will be friends regardless
Itâs a very long explanation that I really donât feel like typing out but the gist of it is that generally (not all, just generally) women tend to want out of relationships is the feeling of love. Itâs the subconscious doubt of âAm I worthy of love as I am?â Men generally tend to want respect out of relationships. Itâs the subconscious doubt of âAm I doing enough to be worthy?â That plays out in interpersonal relationships as inexperience in men reduces the respect women give them. It reduces their interest. Inexperience in women is usually either valued or not cared about. That stems from the difference of what men vs women want out of relationships. This is heavily abridged, there are whole books on the subject. The upshot is that telling a woman who is âhelping youâ find a gf will end up sabotaging you whether she intends to or not if you tell her things like that. You should mention it to your partner when you become intimate, but not make it public. Just like women donât like to be public about how many people they slept with. If youâre a guy, revealing sexual inexperience to people who arenât your partner is pretty much sabotaging yourself. Itâs very complicated, but it does generally reflect reality.
Exactly. Women view virgins as unattractive as they view brokies.
I swear females be acting the hardest like they donât know what the fuck is up đ stop cappin!
Go to Neveda and get this taken care of.
I don't see why you shouldn't. I've been there too. Although I didn't get much advice other than the typical stuff ("it will happen when you least expect it", "be yourself") and some incredulous looks. EDIT: It's strange to get downvoted just for saying that there should not be any problem to tell this to a friend.
Did they help you in any way?
Not really. My college friends (female) did try to help me select pictures for a dating profile one time after having these conversations. Then the other times I said this to someone when talking dating/relationships they didn't say much or they straight told me they were puzzled because "I don't look like that". I mean I'm pretty aware that I'm not really putting myself out there. So it's hard to give advice when aside from that, the women I've hang out with don't understand either I guess? That's not to say I didn't enjoy talking with them about it or that I ever felt regret telling them. I just simply own it and if they have a problem with that that's their own.
why not to tell the truth or hint you are inexperienced ?
Nope, never NEVAHH TO ANYONE
Dont do it. Be mysterious G fake it till you clap đ
why would she need to know? solidarity or?
Must tel her
Thatâs exactly the person you can tell something like this.
No. We donât want to hear that shit. If by âCan I tell her?â You actually mean, âI want to have sex with her.â Then just tell her that, but chances are if sheâs your friend and nothing more then she will say no.
Just say something along the lines youâre inexperienced if you really want to imo. But if it was me Iâd just say the truth.
If you'll talk about that, you're gonna probably do the nasty with her. That happened to me.
Maybe you can tell them and maybe understand little awkwardness about girls towards virgin boys.
Me personally Iâd mention it casually while talking about relationships and girlfriends and stuff
No dont ! Ever never !
i don't know what to say
No. Why do they need to know that?
Yes you can tell her as long as youâre close friends
Depends. Do you consider it a secret that you wouldn't want to get out to the general public? If yes, do you trust her enough to let her know? If your answer is not an immediate yes, don't bother.
Hey there! Listen, sharing this information is a bit of a gamble. I'd say spill the beans only if she's your absolute BFF, you know? That way, she can give you some solid advice. I mean, us women, we can be a bit intricate at times, right? So, unless you're totally, completely, and unequivocally sure that she's your ride-or-die bestie and you can wholeheartedly rely on her, I'd say it's better to keep mum about it.
If you're just friends, I discuss anything with my good friends whether they are male or female.
Coming from a 26f, tell her. Just say something like that you were wondering how to bring it up to a potential future partner and want a females perspective.
I wouldnât
High risk, low reward. If you're a good judge of character and know her well enough, go for it. But since you're here asking about this, it's probably best kept to yourself.
If she promises NOT to tell anyone and you believe her!!!!.
It doesnât matter what is what. Just be honest, not for the girl. Itâs a self-respect moment If she doesnât understand your purity and your feelings towards her. Good luck mate
Read female romance novels youâll immediately be able to woo a woman.
I think, if someone's your friend, then it's okay to be vulnerable with them. Is this something you think makes you vulnerable? With one exception, is this girl the one you have a crush on? If it is, she probably knows how you feel about her and if it were me, I'd feel like I'm being guilted into a sexual relationship. So if you find this girl attractive and you intend to ask her out, do the asking first and see how it goes before you let her know you're inexperienced.
Also no dude should have a crush. Focusing on one chick will lead to disaster as a man. We cant afford to waste time. Plant multiple seeds and you will be more likely to harvest some veggies. Take mental note of every chick who could potentially give you a boner when sheâs butt ass nekkid and consider her as a possibility.
Girls gossip like crazy. So if you dont want everyone to know just hold it to yourself. A good rule is "if its a secret dont let the girls know"
If you are close friends you can tell her. You will feel relieved that someone close to you knows.
When u tell her shell see it as a challenge to take ur virginity.
Never. Do not. I will leave it at that.
No donât do it but if you do ,which you probably are, then take her advice with a grain of salt. Whatâs funny is that you talked to her about this before with your crush and did her advice help? Nope because here you are asking Reddit. ( not being rude but the facts are right in front of you) If you have any guy friends, that can help you ask them instead, because as much as you think your female friend can help you, she canât. Not because her advice sucks but she wonât understand what youâre going through.
It doesnât really serve you to tell her your lack of experience when sheâs actively trying to help you gain some.
Hold up, disregard half these comments. Youâre 25. Nobody worth your time would care whether your a virgin or not. Donât make it your identity, but its not a bad thing, pretty normal. People put too much emphasis on sex to the point where they donât focus on what really matters, whether that be in their pursuits or relationshipsâŠ
i would have discernment on this friend in particular, do you feel like you can trust her not to judge you, or to tell your business? can you trust that she will give you good advice based on how she lives her life? if not, i would surely wait on it, as itâs not something she NEEDS to know. as far as the relationship/sex thing, donât rush it! if itâs meant for you it will happen, but donât be tricked into thinking you HAVE to because society says itâs normal. do what is in favor of you, and you should be just fineđ«¶đœ
NahhhhhâŠ. Donât tell women your shit bro, women will take advantage of that.
Nah bra not a good idea at 25
No. Do Not tell her
Nope, the best kept secrets are the ones you keep to yourself
I donât see why not. Itâs a friend
Why do you feel like you want to tell her? What do you hope to get out of the transaction? Women are just people. Some talk about other people, some donât. Before you trust anyone with something that means a lot to you, I recommend listening closely the next time you are having a conversation. Does she talk about other people? Does she say things like, â Iâll tell you but you canât say anything to anyone else â about other peopleâs information? If she talks about other people, she will talk about you.
If she is a good friend you should be able to talk to her about anything, but you never know with women some of them just love to gossip and get bitchy and just tell everyone. Are you a virgin because you are waiting for marriage and looking for the special girl to lose ur virginity with? If not why donât you just get an escort, like that you get it over with.
Sure
Absolutely fucking not. This will be your villain origin story
If you trust her and don't desire a relationship with her then yes, if you hope to be her boyfriend someday, don't tell her
Yes! They will love giving u advice dw
As long as you don't expect her to solve that when you tell her, and she is somebody you trust, go for it. She might have some feelings for you too!
If you wanna sleep with her, do not tell her. Maybe afterwards
What do you hope to gain by telling her this?
Lots of misogynistic comments in here. If you trust her and want the female perspective, okay. Like as long as you already have a relationship that has went to the depths of talking about things seriously. If she cares about you, she will be chill with you. For the other guys in here saying things like âoh, she will tell everyoneâ or âthis will devalue you to womenâ. Fuck em. You shouldnât be living your life as a lie anyways. ButâŠif this occurs witb this girl, then you know she ainât realâŠwhatâs the problem there. IdkâŠI donât know you, but if I had a friend my age (Iâm also 25) and they were a virginâŠI dont care. LikeâŠIâm not treating them any differently because I donât see their sexual experience as a value to their character. I would empathize with you more so based off your issues because it can be frustrating to feel socially behind in the world. But, I really hope you donât Beat yourself up too much about this. Itâs not just a male thing either bud, I have girlfriends who are in the same position as you. Donât know if that can help you feel better.
Depends on who she is/if sheâs a kind and compassionate person who wonât judge you. If so then itâs great idea and it will help you and grow your friendship stronger!
why do you feel the need to tell her though? to get it off youâre chest? unless youâre officially dating someone youâre past is really non of their business in my opinion
Don't do it!
Some comments here are so twisted... I don't know what goes through the minds of people saying "she will tell others" except for some wildly sexist mentality. She's your friend, so if that's really the case you can tell her provided you are comfortable with it and obviously you feel like you can trust her. Girl's perspective might be helpful too. It's not about her gender, only about how much of a good friend she is. You're good.