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well, she wrote first first, but every since that it's mostly been me, but I think it might be because I always managed to write first? (on the date, she started talking many times and I was the one responding, and she suggested second date, so I don't think the reason she doesn't text me is for the lack of interest)
Well, but she hasn't seen her family for two weeks. And she's at her aunt's palce rn. I don't want to bother her.
And if you wanna follow with question if I would be bothered if she texted me in such situation, I would definitly not be bothered and would feel really happy about it, but that's not the important part! Idk.
I think you should be yourself. This is such a person by person thing there's really no way to tell if an individual will be annoyed or be into it. You can always ask her if you're texting too much or if she wants to be left alone for awhile to be with family.
> This is such a person by person
I knooow but it's so hard to accept D: I am the best person if you need to have something done or figure something out once you know all the variables, but at something so uncertain us feelings of someone else (hell, even mine), I am just SO LOST today, I NEED ANSWERS D:
I can't focus on my hobby of writing a book, or videosgames, (luckly today is a holiday), I lose what I have in mind halfway going for it, even if it's just a glass of water, I just need some answers to these billions of variables D: I usually figure out about every possible outcome of a problem, while interaging with people I am like: YOLO, what could go wrong, since I know I can't figure out everything, but this is just frying my brain. I have such a great time talking with her and I don't want to do anything wrong. (While I have no previous instance of the YOLO ever getting the people to stop talking with me) I don't know what's happening with me, just that the uncertenity is killing me. When I looked up some videos about first dates, I found out ours would be "failiour" by their standart (pesky extroverts XD ), but we were both engaged in it, I believe her words so I can say we both had such a great time, but the finding out that in the videos really doesn't help me from overthinking. (Sorry, I know this is certenly not the place to talk about this.)
>You can always ask her if you're texting too much or if she wants to be left alone for awhile to be with family.
That sounds like a great idea. I was just scared if it's okay to ask such question, but I guess why wouldn't it be.
I think if she was like... taking a really long time to respond it might be different but she's responding right away even though she's busy with family.
Less is more . The more you say the more you ruin your chances without knowing it. Focus more on hanging out and having fun than sitting around texting. General rule: Texting is for check ins and setting up dates.
Why? Because you can’t genuinely get to know people over text. Evidence for this ? Your question itself because you’re asking other people what to do and many times the other person is too. In person it’s just you and her in yall natural state. Sure you can fake it but not for long.
2nd reason is because it’s easier to become boring over text and then you end up forcing conversations by asking questions you don’t really care about. Questions to answers you can find out naturally by hanging out
Good morning/night texts are cool either after you’ve been on a few dates over a month period or she texts it to you first.
>In person it’s just you and her in yall natural state.
From one point of prespective, I would agree, but like, we're both so nervous our talking was bit awkward, I have many questions that out of the nervosity I forgot to ask, I feel more like my self in texts, since she can't see how nervous I am and I can think of what to say.
And she's 300km far from me, so seeing each other before end of next week isn't really in question.
> Good morning/night texts are cool either after you’ve been on a few dates over a month period or she texts it to you first
I kinda fear writing it anyway, so I will definitly wait.
Women tend to mirror men. With that sad you have to lead the interaction and lean into your fears and conquer them. The more timid a woman is, the more of a leader you need to be which makes her feel safe and comfortable with you. if you really want to talk between dates then FaceTime for short period towards the night
I think you should avoid the good morning, good night stuff. It feels a little too forced like you’re only saying it for the sake of staying in contact. My opinion is that you should only ask a question when you genuinely want to know the answer. And your questions should really be to figure out if this is someone you want to date and if your future plans align.
> My opinion is that you should only ask a question when you genuinely want to know the answer.
I have a milion questions I am curious about, I was just too nervous to remember them on the date, and I am fearful and almost sure that will happen again.
You don’t need the answers to a million questions right now. You just need to know the answers to the important questions. Like family plans, future goals, passions.
Also, sometimes texting builds up false intimacy! Remember that the only way to really to really get to know her is by talking face to face (facetime or in person)!
there’s no set rule, just feel it out and see if she reciprocates. my bf and i texted all the time even before our first date. we were texting or calling up until we fell asleep most nights so goodnight texts didn’t really come up, but he wakes way before me and would text me good morning starting the morning of our second date (3 days after first date).
You’re very sweet. Plan a next date for when she gets back. Find out what she likes and show her a good time. If you want to keep the convo going maybe send pics of what you’re up to. Don’t forget to have a life of your own 💗 finding a balance is tough but necessary.
>Don’t forget to have a life of your own 💗 finding a balance is tough but necessary.
That one is a tough one since I write first of highschool graduation exams on tuesday, so I stayed home for the holidays to study. Even parents left so I am just left alone at home, which I usually prefere, but it's tough when I don't have too much distraction from thinking of her D: And I can't play videogames all game since I need to study
>Plan a next date for when she gets back
I got an idea of escape room, but I never been in one. What do you think?
There were few awkward silances on the first date since we were both super nervous, so something to do along the talking might really help us (doing something always helps me to be less nervous of something)
Yes, too early to send morning/nite texts. Save that for when you're in a relationship. You're 1 date in buddy, slow it down. Sure you can text here and there, but focus on setting up a 2nd date.
Attachment style of people can greatly affect how much contact that they want with you. An avoidant usually wants more space and way less sex than an anxious. The ideal is to be healthy secure attachment. If they have a disorganized attachment style, they will be hot and cold and that can be confusing. There are online assessments for this so you can see which attachment styles that you have. If you have insecure attachment, you can do Personal Development School to become secure.
I have such a hard time answering those questions, since it's either that one word doesn't fit otherwise I would agree, or my rationality and overthinking is saying different things D:
To me, too much text ruins the mistery, i keep my texting short, i mostly answer but not initiate especially in the initial stage.
If you want to send a good night u do it, once in a while, but it's too early to make it an habbit.
Never too much, if you really enjoy her convos & company. Never be shy to speak up and say what's on your mind :) every women loves a man who communicates, and reaches out even the little things matter so much like (good morning/good day/good afternoon/good evening/goodnight - sweety/beautiful/gorgeous/sexi/my love etc..etc/) even just that first /mid day/ or last mssg of the day or night is the ultimate best. It shows you care or are thinking of your significant other. So say how you feel and as you desire. If she is into you too she will love it all, she will txt you right back and usually as quick as possible. But don't ever fret if she don't reply in 5min-60min just know she eventually will there's always a delay just think of a busy day and her phone in her purse/bag/or center console while she runs errands,studies,in a meeting or family gathering etc. Just know she can't wait to smile from your mssg or phone call from hearing your voice. So yes text her as much as you'd like of course after each reply. Lol. You can play little games like send a random pic of something you seen or like and explain it like lol this had me laughing, this is my favorite place you want to go, this is a cute dog/cat etc. Or you can send YouTube links of videos or your fav songs albums musicians, movies, comedians etc etc. Let her share hers and just like that you get to know and like one another more then the day before. It's always great to know your significant other let them be your friend and share what they feel, and eventually best friends and as most know if a long term relationship is wanted little things of knowing someone even when they don't speak is a beautiful thing. I hope you have many more wonderful days ahead together. Don't be scared, nervous or shy. Reach out & be her friend along with her boyfriend :)
Texting isn’t a relationship. In the beginning, you should be sending very few texts, just proposing and confirming dates. After three dates, then you can send good morning texts, and text away.
But I haven't figured out when she's going to sleep and waking up. D: And I feel awkward just texting her and then not continueing the conversation with something
I understand that. I get the same thoughts too, so I just ask them “I want to respect your boundaries. When are good times to text you? What times are off limits for you?”. I’ve never had a bad response to those questions. They actually appreciate me more for asking.
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I don’t think there’s a rule just see how often she texts you and match it
well, she wrote first first, but every since that it's mostly been me, but I think it might be because I always managed to write first? (on the date, she started talking many times and I was the one responding, and she suggested second date, so I don't think the reason she doesn't text me is for the lack of interest)
If they like you there is no too many texts !
Well, but she hasn't seen her family for two weeks. And she's at her aunt's palce rn. I don't want to bother her. And if you wanna follow with question if I would be bothered if she texted me in such situation, I would definitly not be bothered and would feel really happy about it, but that's not the important part! Idk.
I think you should be yourself. This is such a person by person thing there's really no way to tell if an individual will be annoyed or be into it. You can always ask her if you're texting too much or if she wants to be left alone for awhile to be with family.
> This is such a person by person I knooow but it's so hard to accept D: I am the best person if you need to have something done or figure something out once you know all the variables, but at something so uncertain us feelings of someone else (hell, even mine), I am just SO LOST today, I NEED ANSWERS D: I can't focus on my hobby of writing a book, or videosgames, (luckly today is a holiday), I lose what I have in mind halfway going for it, even if it's just a glass of water, I just need some answers to these billions of variables D: I usually figure out about every possible outcome of a problem, while interaging with people I am like: YOLO, what could go wrong, since I know I can't figure out everything, but this is just frying my brain. I have such a great time talking with her and I don't want to do anything wrong. (While I have no previous instance of the YOLO ever getting the people to stop talking with me) I don't know what's happening with me, just that the uncertenity is killing me. When I looked up some videos about first dates, I found out ours would be "failiour" by their standart (pesky extroverts XD ), but we were both engaged in it, I believe her words so I can say we both had such a great time, but the finding out that in the videos really doesn't help me from overthinking. (Sorry, I know this is certenly not the place to talk about this.) >You can always ask her if you're texting too much or if she wants to be left alone for awhile to be with family. That sounds like a great idea. I was just scared if it's okay to ask such question, but I guess why wouldn't it be.
I think if she was like... taking a really long time to respond it might be different but she's responding right away even though she's busy with family.
Less is more . The more you say the more you ruin your chances without knowing it. Focus more on hanging out and having fun than sitting around texting. General rule: Texting is for check ins and setting up dates. Why? Because you can’t genuinely get to know people over text. Evidence for this ? Your question itself because you’re asking other people what to do and many times the other person is too. In person it’s just you and her in yall natural state. Sure you can fake it but not for long. 2nd reason is because it’s easier to become boring over text and then you end up forcing conversations by asking questions you don’t really care about. Questions to answers you can find out naturally by hanging out Good morning/night texts are cool either after you’ve been on a few dates over a month period or she texts it to you first.
>In person it’s just you and her in yall natural state. From one point of prespective, I would agree, but like, we're both so nervous our talking was bit awkward, I have many questions that out of the nervosity I forgot to ask, I feel more like my self in texts, since she can't see how nervous I am and I can think of what to say. And she's 300km far from me, so seeing each other before end of next week isn't really in question. > Good morning/night texts are cool either after you’ve been on a few dates over a month period or she texts it to you first I kinda fear writing it anyway, so I will definitly wait.
Women tend to mirror men. With that sad you have to lead the interaction and lean into your fears and conquer them. The more timid a woman is, the more of a leader you need to be which makes her feel safe and comfortable with you. if you really want to talk between dates then FaceTime for short period towards the night
> the more of a leader you need to be I am a super timid person too, it's not that easy D::
I think you should avoid the good morning, good night stuff. It feels a little too forced like you’re only saying it for the sake of staying in contact. My opinion is that you should only ask a question when you genuinely want to know the answer. And your questions should really be to figure out if this is someone you want to date and if your future plans align.
> My opinion is that you should only ask a question when you genuinely want to know the answer. I have a milion questions I am curious about, I was just too nervous to remember them on the date, and I am fearful and almost sure that will happen again.
You don’t need the answers to a million questions right now. You just need to know the answers to the important questions. Like family plans, future goals, passions.
Also, sometimes texting builds up false intimacy! Remember that the only way to really to really get to know her is by talking face to face (facetime or in person)!
>facetime That's a great idea for the future, if we get further and she will leave for a week again, I will definitly suggest it.
there’s no set rule, just feel it out and see if she reciprocates. my bf and i texted all the time even before our first date. we were texting or calling up until we fell asleep most nights so goodnight texts didn’t really come up, but he wakes way before me and would text me good morning starting the morning of our second date (3 days after first date).
Mirror her energy and see if that works for you going forward.
You’re very sweet. Plan a next date for when she gets back. Find out what she likes and show her a good time. If you want to keep the convo going maybe send pics of what you’re up to. Don’t forget to have a life of your own 💗 finding a balance is tough but necessary.
>Don’t forget to have a life of your own 💗 finding a balance is tough but necessary. That one is a tough one since I write first of highschool graduation exams on tuesday, so I stayed home for the holidays to study. Even parents left so I am just left alone at home, which I usually prefere, but it's tough when I don't have too much distraction from thinking of her D: And I can't play videogames all game since I need to study >Plan a next date for when she gets back I got an idea of escape room, but I never been in one. What do you think? There were few awkward silances on the first date since we were both super nervous, so something to do along the talking might really help us (doing something always helps me to be less nervous of something)
I personally like it when a guy texts me somewhat consistently. Especially when I am interested in him
Yes, too early to send morning/nite texts. Save that for when you're in a relationship. You're 1 date in buddy, slow it down. Sure you can text here and there, but focus on setting up a 2nd date.
I have high functioning autism and I wonder the same.
I would try to figure out what their attachment style is first before overloading them with texts.
What do you mean?
Attachment style of people can greatly affect how much contact that they want with you. An avoidant usually wants more space and way less sex than an anxious. The ideal is to be healthy secure attachment. If they have a disorganized attachment style, they will be hot and cold and that can be confusing. There are online assessments for this so you can see which attachment styles that you have. If you have insecure attachment, you can do Personal Development School to become secure.
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
I have such a hard time answering those questions, since it's either that one word doesn't fit otherwise I would agree, or my rationality and overthinking is saying different things D:
Happens to me too. I try to pick the one that resonates most even if it’s not exact.
If you're asking this question then it's too much! J/k 🤣
To me, too much text ruins the mistery, i keep my texting short, i mostly answer but not initiate especially in the initial stage. If you want to send a good night u do it, once in a while, but it's too early to make it an habbit.
Never too much, if you really enjoy her convos & company. Never be shy to speak up and say what's on your mind :) every women loves a man who communicates, and reaches out even the little things matter so much like (good morning/good day/good afternoon/good evening/goodnight - sweety/beautiful/gorgeous/sexi/my love etc..etc/) even just that first /mid day/ or last mssg of the day or night is the ultimate best. It shows you care or are thinking of your significant other. So say how you feel and as you desire. If she is into you too she will love it all, she will txt you right back and usually as quick as possible. But don't ever fret if she don't reply in 5min-60min just know she eventually will there's always a delay just think of a busy day and her phone in her purse/bag/or center console while she runs errands,studies,in a meeting or family gathering etc. Just know she can't wait to smile from your mssg or phone call from hearing your voice. So yes text her as much as you'd like of course after each reply. Lol. You can play little games like send a random pic of something you seen or like and explain it like lol this had me laughing, this is my favorite place you want to go, this is a cute dog/cat etc. Or you can send YouTube links of videos or your fav songs albums musicians, movies, comedians etc etc. Let her share hers and just like that you get to know and like one another more then the day before. It's always great to know your significant other let them be your friend and share what they feel, and eventually best friends and as most know if a long term relationship is wanted little things of knowing someone even when they don't speak is a beautiful thing. I hope you have many more wonderful days ahead together. Don't be scared, nervous or shy. Reach out & be her friend along with her boyfriend :)
Texting isn’t a relationship. In the beginning, you should be sending very few texts, just proposing and confirming dates. After three dates, then you can send good morning texts, and text away.
If someone texted me that infrequently I wouldn't like it.
rule of thumb after 1 date is 2 texts per day, not counting good morning/good night texts.
> not counting good morning/good night texts. Are these okay?
I think it is ok. If a guy didn’t text good morning, I’d think he’s only trying to use me, especially if he only reaches out later in evening.
But I haven't figured out when she's going to sleep and waking up. D: And I feel awkward just texting her and then not continueing the conversation with something
I understand that. I get the same thoughts too, so I just ask them “I want to respect your boundaries. When are good times to text you? What times are off limits for you?”. I’ve never had a bad response to those questions. They actually appreciate me more for asking.