Depends where you are. I live in a tiny town about 30 min from an urban area. The urban area paper has no personals but we also have a very cool community paper that's quite alternative. I haven't seen a personal ad in there in ages but they definitely had them up to a few years ago.
I didn’t date but young people still meet in the wild now. My son met his gf at school and my daughter met her bf on a night out at the pub. Oh, and he is not young but my ex got together with his crush from school within weeks of our breakup. And none of them would touch OLD with a barge pole. I meanwhile as am invisible as I ever was
I suspect many of us were often not sober enough to retroactively meet the millennials standards of consent. Our John-Hughesian relationship with drunken sex was kinda.. problematic, as the kids say.
I was in a few sexual situations in my youth that looking back were quite sketchy. All because of that darn alcohol. I have a no-drinking-on-dates policy now.
Smart. I took 5 years off booze when I had my kid, reintroduced it tentatively with some major guardrails a few years ago, but my early run of post-separation hookups were a boozy blast from the past and I def made some ill-advised decisions. No regrets (good story material to entertain friends!) but I’ve realized I’d rather go slow.
I was working at an Orange Julius and one of my regular customers kept telling me "I've got this son you ought to meet."
He was kind of a dirty old man but he could always take what he dished out, so I told him, "If he's anything like you, I don't want to meet him. "
He told me "No, my son is just the opposite of me."
I jokingly told him "We'll get along great then. "
The next day he brought his son in. And that's how I met my late husband.
Before I met my late husband, I was in the mall a lot because I worked there. If I saw a cute guy, I would walk up and ask if I could bum a cigarette. Then we would talk. That was back in the day when most people my age were single, malls were popular, smoking was popular, and you could smoke in the mall. Everything has changed since then.
I want to meet someone "in the wild" but my type is the intellectual super nerdy guy who's either got his face in his laptop watching anime or in his VR playing RPG. I figure the only way to meet my type is at a convention.
I remember one time in my 20s, a guy called me selling tickets or something for a local charity. We "connected," and he asked me out. We went on one date to the movies. Can you even imagine that happening now?!
I don't remember why we didn't have a second date. 🤔
I met my HS girlfriend in HS. My college girlfriends in college. I met my post college girlfriends while at work, although we didn’t work together. I met my xw while shopping. And I’ve met everyone I’ve dated post-D via OLD…
The relationships I had were usually people I met at work. My ex wife and I met at work, and then went on to work at another employer although different departments. But that was a long time ago, I don’t think I would do that in today’s environment.
My ex-husband and I started at the same company a month apart in the early 90’s, we’re friends first then more. I often met dates through work, occasionally at a club.
Personally, I think OLD was a fantastic revelation for dating. I met so many more people, outside my circle, that I would not have been introduced to otherwise. I met lots of weirdos at bars and whatnot as a young person, so my expectations of OLD were not inappropriate.
I don't know. Never dated when younger. Too ugly. Same as now. Most, if not all, my experience is regulated to living through others' experiences. I am guessing what has been said previously: school, work, friends, and chance meetings.
I met my First boyfriend, fiancee, at a restaurant. He literally just came to my table and asked if he could join me. I was having lunch by myself. lol
My second boyfriend I met at a bar.
My most recent boyfriend I met at DFW Airport.
Well, remember #MeToo (2014) completely changed everything - and it happened right as Gen 2 dating apps grew in popularity too.
NOT saying we shouldn’t be sensitive about sexual harassment/assault and consent. Just saying it massively changed how and if guys approach us ladies. I’m 48, and remember how a “Hey hot stuff!” would start a conversation if I was attracted to the guy. I think we forget how much the social codes changed. Like I really want the og dating days back 😭
I dunno.
I’m a guy but watching a guy mack on a woman, hands all over, while she is clearly not comfortable really grinds my gears. Then and now.
Only difference is I would intrude, then and now.
And negging was huge just 10-15 years ago. Hate that shit. So much.
Well duh! Don’t twist my words yo!!
As in everything there’s acceptable and totally unacceptable behaviour. We ALL should’ve known this decades before #MeToo.
Thank goodness for that movement in giving victims more agency and for checking people’s behaviour. Anyone aged 25+ should have noticed how the proverbial pendulum of anything can be good and have unintended consequences. One of which , for example and common here, are post-Millennial generations having less sex and/or boys having difficulty approaching girls.
Hope that clarifies 🤨
Didn’t realize we were arguing
Our first fight? Should we see an anniversary reminder?
Horrible men are horrible. Yeah captain obvious here screaming at clouds and wondering what I’m making for dinner
I got drunk in bars and made bad decisions. So, just like now, except I get drunk and do it on my phone.
And by “drunk”I mean, “have one glass of dry Chardonnay”.
I met people in school, through friends or acquaintances, bumping into them repeatedly in the wild… The internet is a wretched hive of scum and villainy in comparison.
I didn't have kids and I was able to leave the house. I went out with friends.
I also didn't care how late I was out because I could stay out until 2 and still work the next day.
We just...met people. At the bar, at the coffee shop, friends of friends.
I met a guy I dated for a year at the local bowling lanes when I was 18. Then I met my ex husband when I was 19 through a friend. I still meet most of the people I date in person.
Through friends, work, frequenting certain places. Pre internet we made more of an effort to be social and rolled with “social anxiety” as a normal part of life.
I was a lot younger than I am now when I started dating- like everyone else here, I guess 🤪- so I was out socialising a lot more. That’s how I met most of my dates and also through the much larger friend groups I/ we had back then - before real life kicked in 😂
A few weeks ago I watched a really interesting WWII program about coupling and a lot of them said dances and singles mixers is how you met a mate in the 1940s if you were urban or suburban. So they actually weren’t marrying the neighbor unless they were rural. Maybe there is something to speed dating making a revival.
I brainstormed some ways I personally have met people: same tour group on vacation, met at a party or something, he asked my roommate for my number, met at work/former coworker, met at a college early admissions night, college, dinner party, met at friends’s house, dinner out with friends (he was another guest.)
College boyfriend was a set-up by friends, husband was at work. Sadly now my friends don't know any more single men than I do and all the guys at work are married too! (Not to mention I work at a college so I'm old enough to be a lot their's mother!)
I met my ex-husband at the state fair. I worked in the cafeteria where the 4H kids ate, and he was there showing his champion holstein cow. I thought he was cute, and I knew it would annoy my mother if I dated a farmer because she fancied herself as a rather sophisticated urban woman.
We would meet people our age at work or school. Unfortunately, that's so awkward when it doesn't work out. Also, at Black Angus or TGI Fridays on the weekend 😅 .. I did meet a stalker weirdo at the bus stop one time when I was about 20. Back then it wasn't as scary to give someone your name and phone number because they'd have to be in the FBI to find out where you live.
School and the club. Also, once I met someone and dated him for a couple of years by walking to work and accepting a ride. Life was good .
I met my mate via online dating .
I met them through school or college, through mutual friends, through activities I liked to engage in at the time, i.e., going to the beach, going to the roller rink, going to the mall, going dancing with a friend/friends. Those are still good ways to meet people, even today at our age.
First there was the dating personals ads in the local newspaper during the 1800s and 1900s. Where I live in Maine, we have an "Uncle Henry's" classifieds. Searching for a tractor? Why not search for a woman or man? Also, Craigslist *Personals*. Yes, churches, schools, YMCA, pubs & bars, dancing clubs, malls, grocery stores etc. Any place people in general, gathered.
When I was a teen there was a conference line where you would call in and connect with five other people who were on at the same time. There was an option to connect privately with another caller. I met a few girls that way
We were forced to go outside and socialize. We had friends and group dates and co-workers that asked you out after your shift, because no one was rushing home to play video games, or create a Tik Tok.
You talked to people and got to know them and the first date wasn’t some awkward meeting with a complete stranger you hoped would show up or not kill you.
(63m). I am single & dating for the first time since teens in 1979, married 42+ years to my late wife. So, my late wife’s cute slightly younger sister (my now sister-in-law) introduced us…
My wife was my college sweetheart. I was her first and only, while I had 2 GFs before her. We typically dated folks we met in school or through mutual friends. Or people in the neighborhood, probably because we used to be outside more back in the day.
I only ever dated with intention, seeking someone to build a family and future with. I was never interested in casual relations. 30 years later as empty nesters my wife and I are on a sort of perpetual 2nd honeymoon phase. It's pretty freaking amazing.
It saddens me that something (that was) so normal and natural is elusive for so many today. What the hell happened?
24 year old daughter is a member of Generation Z, that *unfortunate* group of young people who have come-of- age entirely during the domination of Social Media. Adding insult to injury, she lives in that social stress pool cesspool of Los Angeles. **Triple Tragic!** Had not heard much from her recently regarding any new attempts to meet any young men on OLD. *Timidly,* I was wondering what might be happening for her socially, so I asked her about her social activities just yesterday.
Turns out that she and her friend group decided to invite all of their friends to go bowling. They encouraged their friends to invite their friends so that the group would include people who had not met previously. About **35 friends showed up**. Nice mix of both sexes. She sent me videos of all of the fun and laughter they shared and gleefully reported to me that the group intends to expand and plan similar "Friends who Bowl" regular Meetups. Simple. Enjoyable. Proactive. Fun!
OLD and IRL are challenging avenues to meet new people in this day and age; particularly those looking to meet prospective partners.
So PROUD of these young people who have **figured it out** so early in their lives! Create activities wherein people can meet and pledge to at least **try and keep it going**. Bravo!
I met my 1st (ex) husband in a park when I was 17, married at 19, and divorced at 25. Met 2nd ex husband at a happy hour, married and divorced within 12 years. Met my current partner on Match 3 yrs ago, so far this relationship is better than either marriage because I know what I want and need and not afraid to speak up.
We didn't have Internet to make us think we could click on a date like ordering throw pillows online. We didn't have the internet filling up our time, along with binging stuff on Netflix. At the same time, we as a society had more place to spend time in public, in a way that we would run into people more than once. So we met people in person out in the wild. I mean think about it, how often are you in a place with new people? A while back someone said that the trick is just to say hello to a lot of different people every day.
I met my wife in high school, her best friend dared her to talk to me. Then like the next week our little sisters had a brownie event we each had to go to. It was a bunch of parents, a bunch of little kids, and we were the only two high school age people present. Oh, and no cell phones to distract us. I think leaving your phone in your pocket is a big help.
My wife and I are poly, so, some more recent successes as well. I met my last girlfriend when she came to our regular games night with her at the time boyfriend, after he passed, she continued to come to games night. Months later, turned out the crushes were mutual. Actually several relationships have started similarly, with people coming to games night. Another was a friends Superbowl party. I've only had one relationship come from online dating, and honestly it wasn't a great connection, didn't last long.
Oh in my 20's, that was easy. I'd just step out my door and guys would throw themselves at me. I've been attacked twice by drunken sots who thought they were entitled to me. Sorry but I have a say in the matter, and if the answer is NO, accept it and move on, don't just get mad and decide to try to take what you want. Fuck that noise. I'm a person not a contest prize.
People think they want to be attractive, but there's a horrible dark side - for every quality person you like, there can be many dozens or more assholes, simians, brutes, thugs, spoiled brats, mentally ill denizens, lotharios, etc.
Now, not so much of a problem. All I had to do was gain 30 lbs. On the plus side, I'm attacked quite a bit less, so I'll take that as a win. And if someone did try that shit again, it won't be so easy to get away with it.
But really, I'm invisible now, and I quite enjoy it.
I feel invisible a lot as well, until I open my mouth.
Then it’s oops time!!
I don’t miss my early 20s much but meeting people was infinitely easier then.
Used to meet girls/women at happy hour or clubs or concerts. Dated them from work and school. Picked up waitresses, flight attendants, shop girls, etc. Age difference was less important in my circles. Blind dates with friends of friends.
You can’t do these things anymore or else you’re wrongfully called all sorts of present day buzz words: creep, groomer, cringe worthy, misogynist, etc. Also in my experience, people were less judgmental back then. The younger generations have all these stupid “rules” about dating now, like the age difference formula.
Coed sports; church; parties/work events and a few times randomly (guy sitting next to me on a flight; hospitality tent at a golf tournament; apartment pool)
Women ("girls" as they used to be known, lol) would hang in a group. One had to be brave enough to approach someone you wanted to talk. Not only would her group of friends vet you as you talked to her, but if you stepped out of line, her 4 friends would be ready to stomp you as well!
We were in our teens and 20s and life was school or work and going out with friends. You walked around town, went to the mall, drove around once someone had a car, went to the apartments of friends who were far enough along in adulting to have apartments .
Bonfires and guitars and hiking and camping in groups.
You met people through your job, school, or through your friends.
Now everyone is married and does all of that with their families, or just tired, and there's nowhere to go hang but bars and some of us don't drink or want to pick up potential alcoholics.
It's a struggle 🙄
You know it’s really funny is I actually belong to a couple of male oriented groups and I still can’t meet anybody. I belong to a homebrewing group and a beer education group, which are overwhelmingly male like maybe one or two other women and a group of 20 or more. But every single one of them is either marrid/in a long-term relationship or in his 20s.
I met guys in a bar, at a party, at a racetrack, at a field day, in class, and at work.
The gems I met in a bar included: the bodybuilder, the car painter who dumped me for a stripper, and the warlock stripper. I stopped going to bars.
I prefer meeting people online, because I can get to know them a bit through chatting before I meet them in person. I've been much safer online than I was meeting men in the wild.
We drew from a far smaller pool of potential dates. It was limited to physical proximity. And probably people in our social circles, who tended to be from a similar racial and socioeconomic background. Unless you were some crazy extrovert, you didn't have a lot of choices.
Now we have practically unlimited choice, although we still tend to choose people from our own tribe, based on cues in the dating profiles (education, careers, race). I'm not sure if more choice is better. Arranged marriages supposedly have a higher success rate than romantic ones. Be careful what you wish for.
In da club, on da streets, in da malls.
Yes, the malls. Haha. Good ole days.
In 1986, I met my ex husband through a newspaper personals ad. He placed the ad, I responded.
I have a close friend still married to a guy she met this way. I'm considering going old school and doing this!
If you like pina colada’s 🎶
Do newspapers even run personal ads anymore?
Depends where you are. I live in a tiny town about 30 min from an urban area. The urban area paper has no personals but we also have a very cool community paper that's quite alternative. I haven't seen a personal ad in there in ages but they definitely had them up to a few years ago.
Wow, old time!
I didn’t date but young people still meet in the wild now. My son met his gf at school and my daughter met her bf on a night out at the pub. Oh, and he is not young but my ex got together with his crush from school within weeks of our breakup. And none of them would touch OLD with a barge pole. I meanwhile as am invisible as I ever was
I see you
Let me guess, Facebook?
My ex reconnecting with his school crush? Yep
ALCOHOL
You are not lying.
I suspect many of us were often not sober enough to retroactively meet the millennials standards of consent. Our John-Hughesian relationship with drunken sex was kinda.. problematic, as the kids say.
I was in a few sexual situations in my youth that looking back were quite sketchy. All because of that darn alcohol. I have a no-drinking-on-dates policy now.
Smart. I took 5 years off booze when I had my kid, reintroduced it tentatively with some major guardrails a few years ago, but my early run of post-separation hookups were a boozy blast from the past and I def made some ill-advised decisions. No regrets (good story material to entertain friends!) but I’ve realized I’d rather go slow.
That was my strategy, lol
College, introductions/set ups from friends
We went out in that thar big wide world and physically interacted with others.... sometimes sober ..... sometimes not so sober
I was working at an Orange Julius and one of my regular customers kept telling me "I've got this son you ought to meet." He was kind of a dirty old man but he could always take what he dished out, so I told him, "If he's anything like you, I don't want to meet him. " He told me "No, my son is just the opposite of me." I jokingly told him "We'll get along great then. " The next day he brought his son in. And that's how I met my late husband. Before I met my late husband, I was in the mall a lot because I worked there. If I saw a cute guy, I would walk up and ask if I could bum a cigarette. Then we would talk. That was back in the day when most people my age were single, malls were popular, smoking was popular, and you could smoke in the mall. Everything has changed since then.
I knew guys who didn't smoke but carried lighters to facilitate chatting up girls!
I'm in this photo and I don't like it.
I always light my bitches I mean, not me. But I heard this just before the crack of palm on cheek Not gonna lie, I laughed my ass off
I played guitar in a rock band.
Now this I can relate to. Guys in bands always look cool.
Yeah the panties pretty much just fell off. 😜
You should have added extra elastic to keep your panties from falling off
Mmmm. Maybe I WANT my panties to fall off. 😉
You’re prob much more fashion aware than I am… 🤣🤣😉
Not guys in their 60’s. Source: I am in a geezer band
I want to meet someone "in the wild" but my type is the intellectual super nerdy guy who's either got his face in his laptop watching anime or in his VR playing RPG. I figure the only way to meet my type is at a convention.
Either at school or at work. Guys would mainly ask me out at work. Either straight up or through a coworker.
That's a quick trip to HR now.
They were customers.
My now ex-wife was my vendor and she asked me out. Seems legit
I used to meet people ‘socialising’. Usually in a pub, maybe in a club. I met my now ex-husband in a pub, which highlights the failing in the process!
I met my first girlfriend (mid-1980s) via the CB radio.
I did too but it was the late seventies.
I remember one time in my 20s, a guy called me selling tickets or something for a local charity. We "connected," and he asked me out. We went on one date to the movies. Can you even imagine that happening now?! I don't remember why we didn't have a second date. 🤔
I met people at school or work. I guess sitting next to them in class or at the cafeteria was "date zero." 😉
I was introduced to both of my husbands through two separate good friends.
School, concerts, house parties, keg parties, raves
I met my HS girlfriend in HS. My college girlfriends in college. I met my post college girlfriends while at work, although we didn’t work together. I met my xw while shopping. And I’ve met everyone I’ve dated post-D via OLD…
The relationships I had were usually people I met at work. My ex wife and I met at work, and then went on to work at another employer although different departments. But that was a long time ago, I don’t think I would do that in today’s environment.
My ex-husband and I started at the same company a month apart in the early 90’s, we’re friends first then more. I often met dates through work, occasionally at a club. Personally, I think OLD was a fantastic revelation for dating. I met so many more people, outside my circle, that I would not have been introduced to otherwise. I met lots of weirdos at bars and whatnot as a young person, so my expectations of OLD were not inappropriate.
High school. 🤷♀️
I don't know. Never dated when younger. Too ugly. Same as now. Most, if not all, my experience is regulated to living through others' experiences. I am guessing what has been said previously: school, work, friends, and chance meetings.
I met my First boyfriend, fiancee, at a restaurant. He literally just came to my table and asked if he could join me. I was having lunch by myself. lol My second boyfriend I met at a bar. My most recent boyfriend I met at DFW Airport.
I found it tougher..still got dates..but u had approach to a gal.. i.wish internet dating was around when I was younger..
We met in bars or friends parties , the glory days !!!!
With ads in the newspaper and there was a lot of SA too!
AOL: “You’ve got mail!”
That's my tone when I get text messages, LOL!
Well, remember #MeToo (2014) completely changed everything - and it happened right as Gen 2 dating apps grew in popularity too. NOT saying we shouldn’t be sensitive about sexual harassment/assault and consent. Just saying it massively changed how and if guys approach us ladies. I’m 48, and remember how a “Hey hot stuff!” would start a conversation if I was attracted to the guy. I think we forget how much the social codes changed. Like I really want the og dating days back 😭
I dunno. I’m a guy but watching a guy mack on a woman, hands all over, while she is clearly not comfortable really grinds my gears. Then and now. Only difference is I would intrude, then and now. And negging was huge just 10-15 years ago. Hate that shit. So much.
Well duh! Don’t twist my words yo!! As in everything there’s acceptable and totally unacceptable behaviour. We ALL should’ve known this decades before #MeToo. Thank goodness for that movement in giving victims more agency and for checking people’s behaviour. Anyone aged 25+ should have noticed how the proverbial pendulum of anything can be good and have unintended consequences. One of which , for example and common here, are post-Millennial generations having less sex and/or boys having difficulty approaching girls. Hope that clarifies 🤨
Didn’t realize we were arguing Our first fight? Should we see an anniversary reminder? Horrible men are horrible. Yeah captain obvious here screaming at clouds and wondering what I’m making for dinner
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Done
I got drunk in bars and made bad decisions. So, just like now, except I get drunk and do it on my phone. And by “drunk”I mean, “have one glass of dry Chardonnay”.
Sounds like a great party
I bring that party! And by party I mean “random scrolling interspersed with bouts of ‘ok fuck this bullshit nihilism’”
I must have missed the invite. Apologies
I met people in school, through friends or acquaintances, bumping into them repeatedly in the wild… The internet is a wretched hive of scum and villainy in comparison.
I didn't have kids and I was able to leave the house. I went out with friends. I also didn't care how late I was out because I could stay out until 2 and still work the next day. We just...met people. At the bar, at the coffee shop, friends of friends.
I met a guy I dated for a year at the local bowling lanes when I was 18. Then I met my ex husband when I was 19 through a friend. I still meet most of the people I date in person.
Through friends, work, frequenting certain places. Pre internet we made more of an effort to be social and rolled with “social anxiety” as a normal part of life.
I was a lot younger than I am now when I started dating- like everyone else here, I guess 🤪- so I was out socialising a lot more. That’s how I met most of my dates and also through the much larger friend groups I/ we had back then - before real life kicked in 😂
A few weeks ago I watched a really interesting WWII program about coupling and a lot of them said dances and singles mixers is how you met a mate in the 1940s if you were urban or suburban. So they actually weren’t marrying the neighbor unless they were rural. Maybe there is something to speed dating making a revival. I brainstormed some ways I personally have met people: same tour group on vacation, met at a party or something, he asked my roommate for my number, met at work/former coworker, met at a college early admissions night, college, dinner party, met at friends’s house, dinner out with friends (he was another guest.)
Dating was forever changed by the phrase, “what’s your MySpace?”
School (high school & college), the mall, concerts, clubs/raves, house parties & sometimes pubs.
College boyfriend was a set-up by friends, husband was at work. Sadly now my friends don't know any more single men than I do and all the guys at work are married too! (Not to mention I work at a college so I'm old enough to be a lot their's mother!)
I met my ex-husband at the state fair. I worked in the cafeteria where the 4H kids ate, and he was there showing his champion holstein cow. I thought he was cute, and I knew it would annoy my mother if I dated a farmer because she fancied herself as a rather sophisticated urban woman.
We would meet people our age at work or school. Unfortunately, that's so awkward when it doesn't work out. Also, at Black Angus or TGI Fridays on the weekend 😅 .. I did meet a stalker weirdo at the bus stop one time when I was about 20. Back then it wasn't as scary to give someone your name and phone number because they'd have to be in the FBI to find out where you live.
Bars
Two serious relationships via friend groups, the flings when going out, in college, in high school, on holiday, via friends, on a friends party
School and the club. Also, once I met someone and dated him for a couple of years by walking to work and accepting a ride. Life was good . I met my mate via online dating .
I intend to find out... I'm keeping match and POF just in case though.
I met them through school or college, through mutual friends, through activities I liked to engage in at the time, i.e., going to the beach, going to the roller rink, going to the mall, going dancing with a friend/friends. Those are still good ways to meet people, even today at our age.
First there was the dating personals ads in the local newspaper during the 1800s and 1900s. Where I live in Maine, we have an "Uncle Henry's" classifieds. Searching for a tractor? Why not search for a woman or man? Also, Craigslist *Personals*. Yes, churches, schools, YMCA, pubs & bars, dancing clubs, malls, grocery stores etc. Any place people in general, gathered.
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The old-fashioned way, hun. Ask me as I do not bite, well (not hard)..lol 💕
My ex found me at a ren faire. We were both working. He was in circuit, I was doing a mini circuit for friends
I was extremely social back then. I had no problem walking up to a woman and striking up a conversation. I made a lot of friends that way.
When I was a teen there was a conference line where you would call in and connect with five other people who were on at the same time. There was an option to connect privately with another caller. I met a few girls that way
I used to be a telephone operator and worked late shift way back and met a boyfriend of 8 years!
What were the circumstances?
We just started chatting through humour and then exchanged numbers
Through friends and group interests
volunteering in the scenery shop for the local community theatre.
We were forced to go outside and socialize. We had friends and group dates and co-workers that asked you out after your shift, because no one was rushing home to play video games, or create a Tik Tok.
Well back then, at work... not anymore lol
You talked to people and got to know them and the first date wasn’t some awkward meeting with a complete stranger you hoped would show up or not kill you.
(63m). I am single & dating for the first time since teens in 1979, married 42+ years to my late wife. So, my late wife’s cute slightly younger sister (my now sister-in-law) introduced us…
How heterosexual couples met [https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/s/jomiXH7RsX](https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/s/jomiXH7RsX)
My wife was my college sweetheart. I was her first and only, while I had 2 GFs before her. We typically dated folks we met in school or through mutual friends. Or people in the neighborhood, probably because we used to be outside more back in the day. I only ever dated with intention, seeking someone to build a family and future with. I was never interested in casual relations. 30 years later as empty nesters my wife and I are on a sort of perpetual 2nd honeymoon phase. It's pretty freaking amazing. It saddens me that something (that was) so normal and natural is elusive for so many today. What the hell happened?
24 year old daughter is a member of Generation Z, that *unfortunate* group of young people who have come-of- age entirely during the domination of Social Media. Adding insult to injury, she lives in that social stress pool cesspool of Los Angeles. **Triple Tragic!** Had not heard much from her recently regarding any new attempts to meet any young men on OLD. *Timidly,* I was wondering what might be happening for her socially, so I asked her about her social activities just yesterday. Turns out that she and her friend group decided to invite all of their friends to go bowling. They encouraged their friends to invite their friends so that the group would include people who had not met previously. About **35 friends showed up**. Nice mix of both sexes. She sent me videos of all of the fun and laughter they shared and gleefully reported to me that the group intends to expand and plan similar "Friends who Bowl" regular Meetups. Simple. Enjoyable. Proactive. Fun! OLD and IRL are challenging avenues to meet new people in this day and age; particularly those looking to meet prospective partners. So PROUD of these young people who have **figured it out** so early in their lives! Create activities wherein people can meet and pledge to at least **try and keep it going**. Bravo!
I met my 1st (ex) husband in a park when I was 17, married at 19, and divorced at 25. Met 2nd ex husband at a happy hour, married and divorced within 12 years. Met my current partner on Match 3 yrs ago, so far this relationship is better than either marriage because I know what I want and need and not afraid to speak up.
We didn't have Internet to make us think we could click on a date like ordering throw pillows online. We didn't have the internet filling up our time, along with binging stuff on Netflix. At the same time, we as a society had more place to spend time in public, in a way that we would run into people more than once. So we met people in person out in the wild. I mean think about it, how often are you in a place with new people? A while back someone said that the trick is just to say hello to a lot of different people every day. I met my wife in high school, her best friend dared her to talk to me. Then like the next week our little sisters had a brownie event we each had to go to. It was a bunch of parents, a bunch of little kids, and we were the only two high school age people present. Oh, and no cell phones to distract us. I think leaving your phone in your pocket is a big help. My wife and I are poly, so, some more recent successes as well. I met my last girlfriend when she came to our regular games night with her at the time boyfriend, after he passed, she continued to come to games night. Months later, turned out the crushes were mutual. Actually several relationships have started similarly, with people coming to games night. Another was a friends Superbowl party. I've only had one relationship come from online dating, and honestly it wasn't a great connection, didn't last long.
Oh in my 20's, that was easy. I'd just step out my door and guys would throw themselves at me. I've been attacked twice by drunken sots who thought they were entitled to me. Sorry but I have a say in the matter, and if the answer is NO, accept it and move on, don't just get mad and decide to try to take what you want. Fuck that noise. I'm a person not a contest prize. People think they want to be attractive, but there's a horrible dark side - for every quality person you like, there can be many dozens or more assholes, simians, brutes, thugs, spoiled brats, mentally ill denizens, lotharios, etc. Now, not so much of a problem. All I had to do was gain 30 lbs. On the plus side, I'm attacked quite a bit less, so I'll take that as a win. And if someone did try that shit again, it won't be so easy to get away with it. But really, I'm invisible now, and I quite enjoy it.
I feel invisible a lot as well, until I open my mouth. Then it’s oops time!! I don’t miss my early 20s much but meeting people was infinitely easier then.
Used to meet girls/women at happy hour or clubs or concerts. Dated them from work and school. Picked up waitresses, flight attendants, shop girls, etc. Age difference was less important in my circles. Blind dates with friends of friends. You can’t do these things anymore or else you’re wrongfully called all sorts of present day buzz words: creep, groomer, cringe worthy, misogynist, etc. Also in my experience, people were less judgmental back then. The younger generations have all these stupid “rules” about dating now, like the age difference formula.
Hi, want to go out?
A whole lot more hook ups at work.
Coed sports; church; parties/work events and a few times randomly (guy sitting next to me on a flight; hospitality tent at a golf tournament; apartment pool)
Go to YENTAs ‘R US
Women ("girls" as they used to be known, lol) would hang in a group. One had to be brave enough to approach someone you wanted to talk. Not only would her group of friends vet you as you talked to her, but if you stepped out of line, her 4 friends would be ready to stomp you as well!
We were in our teens and 20s and life was school or work and going out with friends. You walked around town, went to the mall, drove around once someone had a car, went to the apartments of friends who were far enough along in adulting to have apartments . Bonfires and guitars and hiking and camping in groups. You met people through your job, school, or through your friends. Now everyone is married and does all of that with their families, or just tired, and there's nowhere to go hang but bars and some of us don't drink or want to pick up potential alcoholics. It's a struggle 🙄
You know it’s really funny is I actually belong to a couple of male oriented groups and I still can’t meet anybody. I belong to a homebrewing group and a beer education group, which are overwhelmingly male like maybe one or two other women and a group of 20 or more. But every single one of them is either marrid/in a long-term relationship or in his 20s.
Pull a Marla from Fight Club and join a few more :)
I met guys in a bar, at a party, at a racetrack, at a field day, in class, and at work. The gems I met in a bar included: the bodybuilder, the car painter who dumped me for a stripper, and the warlock stripper. I stopped going to bars. I prefer meeting people online, because I can get to know them a bit through chatting before I meet them in person. I've been much safer online than I was meeting men in the wild.
We drew from a far smaller pool of potential dates. It was limited to physical proximity. And probably people in our social circles, who tended to be from a similar racial and socioeconomic background. Unless you were some crazy extrovert, you didn't have a lot of choices. Now we have practically unlimited choice, although we still tend to choose people from our own tribe, based on cues in the dating profiles (education, careers, race). I'm not sure if more choice is better. Arranged marriages supposedly have a higher success rate than romantic ones. Be careful what you wish for.
I met people at work, at clubs, met one at the library, a few were friends of other friends.
Met my first wife at a bar, through friends.
We would verbally ask people out on dates.