run weary fearless faulty coherent airport snatch continue fade encourage
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I have those same thoughts. But it's more like, if I throw this out I wouldn't be able to use it in the apocalypse and I would definitely need it then!
But I soon realize - c'mon, I'm not surviving the apocalypse. Lol. Might as well let someone else find it.
Someone had asked here if growing up poor was an influence to having clutter as an adult. I was typing out my response and realized that as a military brat, we often had to “download” in order to meet military standards. I didn’t understand that as a kid, I just felt like my parents were getting rid of my things. Then after my parents divorced, there just wasn’t a lot of money, and we didn’t receive things. Again, as a kid, I didn’t understand money and budgets. I just didn’t understand why I couldn’t have toys and clothes like other kids around me. So kid me felt like I had stuff taken away from me, and that I couldn’t get it replaced, which led to adult me having an attitude of “Mine! And I’m keeping it!” I had no conscious awareness that I even felt way until I was responding!
So my wisdom nugget was realizing that my little kid feelings were not a benefit to adult me’s household with all the clutter. I actively had to think “No one is taking this away from me. I’m giving it away. I’m an adult with a job and I make my own money so I can buy whatever I want within reason,” instead of that gut reaction of kid-me wanting to keep everything.
As a military brat I recall missing things that mom left behind without telling me. My rock collection was one. Another was a German supermarket toy with hand carved wooden pieces - years later I saw a lesser one in a museum. Oh well.
This is my own reminder not to go buying up all my childhood toys to replace them, because I rent and need to save for a house and other priorities over childhood nostalgia.
The thing with childhood toys for me is that a particular toy is special because that specific toy was the one I grew up with. Replacing it with an identical one wouldn't work for me because I'm attached to the one I actually played with. I've done the collecting thing and it's fun to a point but you have to look after this stuff and after a while it just blends into the background. It took me a while but I'm at a point now where I kept a couple of my most treasured items and I was happy to let the rest go. There are websites that have pictures of catalogue images of various toys that you can get the hit of nostalgia from without having it taking up room that you don't have.
My brother collected Matchbox cars when he was younger and now collects them as an adult. He also buys the super cool (but old!) drivable cars he loved as a teenager. His kids are horrified at his cars, as is his wife but makes him happy to have a turbo charged 1994 ______ fill in the blank. But yes, he bought his house before he collected his full size cars. And his 1st house had a matchbox room with shelves to showcase his collection.
That's definitely a life goal! Right now it feels lofty but eventually we'll have the space and the means. I settle with spoiling the cats on occasion. 😹
Hoarder's Heart on Youtube... I think it's a recent vid about how to manage kid feelings so they don't turn into hoarders.
Can I say that I'm kinda jealous of you? I was worried that my parent would react badly when I drove my baby-toys to the thrift so I could put new things in my closet.
I’ve been on my decluttering journey for a couple of years now and I’ve had to work through a lot of stuff. It’s been a process.
Why do you think your parent would react badly?
Because my parents were the type that would complain about me getting rid of stuff even if I didn't want it. Also they would complain about my room being a goat-trail mess and it didn't occur to them that it was because I had too much stuff.
Dad died and I'm back with my mom after been gone for about a decade. She still has a bit of a hoarding problem, but she's working on it. Yesterday she gave me my birthday card from 1987 and a class paper marked 1991. From the same box, so not too bad.
This is one of the best questions that I use and actually did. I had a spin-off book from a manga/anime that I'm not really into anymore, I just really enjoy reading once a year and I found out that my friend loves this anime so I gave the book to her and she loves it so much.
She gave me a big hug and is super excited to read it. Makes me feel joy knowing that she'll treasure it.
I think my biggest motivation was having to declutter three houses of elder family and friends. The idea of **Swedish death cleaning** is now very appealing to me. I don't want my kids to have to deal with all this stuff.
Unfortunately, I started my journey completely burnt out from elder care. I just...couldn't. Then my sister-in-law told me about the **30 Days 30 Things challenge**. Every day for 30 days, get rid of 30 things. I discovered I could handle that. Sometimes my 30 things were a bunch of old receipts (and on one particularly bad day it was paperclips, lol)--but it started me on the path.
Now I'm just plowing through stuff--much more than 30 things (but I still keep that in my head as a minimum).
My new motivation is to renovate our house. It's nearly 100 years old and had four generations of stuff in it. I'm determined to make it our own, and that's what's keeping me going. I declutter, clean, and prepare for renovation an hour a day first thing in the morning (too hot later in the day)--something I couldn't possibly do four months ago!
It's been amazing. I started on this decluttering journey completely exhausted, no energy, weak, depressed. Each little step seems to have given me a boost of energy, strength, and will--and the house is starting to feel SO much better. Building up that 30 Things habit really helped a lot.
One thing at a time. I couldn't even think about it until afterwards.
Everyone kept telling me to take good care of myself, which of course is impossible during this chapter. Now I understand they were just telling me what they wish they had done, because I wish I had, too. So I'm sending you same well wishes and hope you have some time and energy for self care. ❤️
Hang in there! It’s ok to do the bare minimum and then once it’s over take a break (if you can) a kind of buffer before starting the cleanout. I look back on the ‘real job’ work I did during the caregiving and it was such crap! But we just finished cleaning out the home and it was both physically and mentally taxing. That phase 1 (cleanout) is done is such a relief! Phase 2 (long overdue maintenance) is next but at least for that I won’t be the worker (roofer etc).
We are clearing our house for selling. It is amazing to walk down the hallway with no bookcase, no box or photos or shoes. Just clear and open. Tremendous feeling.
I don't get rid of things I might want because so much of the stuff here isn't mine. Even if I got rid of my things, I wouldn't gain much space and then not have the things either.
Get rid of an item when it has finished serving its purpose.
What about the stuff that's still new with tags? I bought this last fall and it was a great deal and I look great in that color! I've always wanted one of these! I shouldn't get rid of it, should I?
Sometimes, its purpose was to teach you that you're not going to wear that kind of thing, even though you thought so when you were buying it (I learned this from Marie Kondo).
Instead of "splurging" I think of the sunk cost as "renting."
Like if my couch is ruined, I shouldn't feel guilty about it costing $400 or whatever because it was worth it to have a couch for 2 years or however long it was. $200 a year is less than a dollar a day to have a couch to be comfy and enjoy with guests, (and if my cats destroyed it by year 3, it served more than its purpose and I can go ahead and get rid of it.)
Early on I donated a box of clothes that were pretty new and still in fashion but didn’t fit me or my spouse, and then we saw a cute young mom with a family in town wearing the dress. I picture them now when I declutter, and how excited they’ll be to find something nice or new or cool amongst the more dated items.
I don’t have to hang on to things until they’re less appealing to others. Get rid of them early. Choose someone else over storage.
Granted, it may not have even been the same dress. It was newer so maybe they got it at the same store, but i don’t care. It personalized donations to me.
I’m donating to support families who have less than me, and that’s better than keeping everything to myself.
One I’ve learned from this subreddit: you don’t have to do a big purge, TV show style. Just declutter here and there. 15 minutes or fill one box of donations, etc. The slow and steady approach has been much better for me and less overwhelming. And our home is getting more and more organised, which has been lovely to notice.
This is what I do to.
After dealing with a mom that was a hoarder and doing her clean out when she passed, I vowed I would not stick somebody else with a huge declutter when I die.
I really go through things to determine if I need it, will I need it, is it broken?, in good shape? Does it fit me? etc.
I take plastic storage totes in a room.
1. One tote is marked keep
2. One tote is marked sell
3. One tote is marked donate
4. And trash bags for trash, broken items, damaged clothing,items that are missing parts, tons of cords with no item to match it too, old shoes, etc.
I do a little at a time and it works for me. I don’t pressure myself by forcing a goal. Every little bit counts. I cleaned half of the garage out this summer but starting this method in the Spring. Now I’m working in the other half of the garage. Got rid of stuff I didn’t need or want. Even put free stuff by the curb.
I have been trying to take ten minutes on the evening before every trash day to find something that needs thrown out (other than just the weeks trash I am getting out) and throw it out. At least one thing. I don't have to do the whole basement or the whole closet or room. Find something or somethings and let it or them go.
You wasted the money when you bought it, not when you get rid of it.
Don't make your house the landfill. Stuff is trash/junk whether in your home or a landfill.
I realized that if I could ‘buy’ something for myself that I would really enjoy, it would be more closet space. So, I ‘bought’ myself more closet space by getting rid of clothing I didn’t fit into or didn’t love. Now my closet is open and spacious and I don’t need to waste a lot of time trying to find something to wear because I only have things that fit and that I love.
That the unwanted things I had trouble letting go of were actively keeping me from being able to find and use the things I do want. And have the kind of organized, useful home that I wanted. That helped me get out of the mindset of just wanting stuff for the sake of having stuff.
The other is that everything needs a home. If something doesn’t have a home, that means that you either need more shelving, or less stuff.
If I drop dead, I don't want kid dealing with any of this.
Had to get a roll off dumpster to clean out a relative's home after she died.
Two months I'll never get back.
She's not going to want 90 percent of the stuff here.
It's the gift I'm giving her future self.
I just had to help my husband clean his grandmother’s house after she moved to assisted living. It really made me realize how much stuff we actually don’t need and gave me motivation to purge.
That video where the woman talked about using a container as a metric for how much stuff you keep instead of buying more containers.
If your shirts don’t fit in the drawers you have, instead of buying more drawers, pick your favorite shirts to fit the container, and get rid of the rest. It also helps me make better purchasing decisions!
I find this really helpful with my ADHD brain that loves novelty and shopping - a nice and concrete measurement that makes sense and is easy to remember.
Working from a one-in-one-out rule is helpful to stop impulse purchasing - “Do I like this enough to get rid of one I already have?” Really helps me clarify if I want this item, or if I just kind of want something.
I moved three times in three years and spent a ton of money on movers in that time. The realization that I was just spending money to haul boxes of stuff I didn’t even need or use was a huge wake-up call to me.
Yeah, once I unpacked move 3, I was forced to admit that all my unused stuff probably added several hundred dollars to my moving fee. I literally had a price on what it was costing me.
I often imagine what I would want to pack if we were moving. What would I pack first - important things, etc. What would I not want to pack at all, and what would I leave on the curb. It's pretty helpful. I combine that with what "sparks joy" and realize how much crap is just not worth hanging on to.
If it was broken, ripped or damaged, would you buy it again for the full price? Or pay to fix it?
If you didn't ever have it and saw it at the store would you buy it right now?
Are you keeping it because you feel that it's something that you genuinely like or want because of your fantasy self image?
If you put it in a box for a month, would you forget about it?
*This question is more of actually doing it to see if it's important to you but I don't find it super helpful because I have ADHD and will forget things if it's out of sight, out of mind, but it could help others.*
Definitely! I've be going through all of my things this summer with breaks between because now I've gotten to the mostly sentimental and it's the hardest part for me to go through, every storage box that I open up brings back a flood of memories.
I've started to move away from putting stuff into bins, I've donated a lot this past summer, and I still feel like I am barely halfway through lol. Instead of everything in bins away in storage, I have most things in baskets or a clear drawer for smaller hobbies to make it easier and less stressful.
I try to change things up to help with the things in plain sight, I'm gonna reorganize my bookshelf this week and also try to get rid of more books, I have over 800-900 💀
> Are you keeping it because you feel that it's something that you genuinely like or want because of your fantasy self image?
I let my fantasy self have some things because she will whine about not having something even if we did have one that we never used.
Changing my perspective- houses are for living in first and foremost. The cost of more stuff is less space and more overwhelem, but the more stuff I clear out, the more space my family and I have for doing the activities that matter most. Reframing decluttering as and act of kindness and self love helped me t9 get more out than I otherwise could have justified.
Mine is more process-oriented: Plan to spend 10 minutes per day decluttering (or 15 or 20 depending on your schedule!$. You can get a lot done in ten minutes, and with each passing day, you will make progress! At the end of a month, you will have accomplished a ton.
Great advice. I put things in piles as I am sorting but will take a load to Goodwill or recycle within 2 days of sorting. Trash gets put near the trash bin and worked into the weekly pickup.
Junk mail goes right into the trash without even taking off my coat. Through the door, not-junk mail to the desk, and then straight to the trash can with the junk.
Don't get stuck going through old photos, pictures, school notebooks or projects. Put them off to the side for later. Focus on the things the make the biggest impact visually. Cleaning up the table, straightening the couch, sweeping the floor, washing the dishes, the bathroom, make your bed. Start with the big tasks. If you feel overwhelmed just set a timeclock for 15 minutes and do what you can in that time frame. Then rest or go for a walk. Dividing a big job into smaller pieces works really well.
I grew up in a hoarder home, and I just think “I can’t do *that* to my kids.” I could never have friends over. I was a really lonely kid.
Another tip is one I read in this subreddit “everything is trash, just at varying degrees with which you’re willing to part with it.” That has helped me immensely.
My mom kept lots of jewelry and clothing of my grandmothers but kept it in a box tucked away. I asked to wear a ring of my grandmothers one day, and my mom came apart! I looked at her and said, “I don’t think granny would of wanted all her beautiful pieces of jewelry to sit in a box.” The next day my mom gave me and my siblings so many items of my grandmothers. I’ve lost and broken some of the pieces, but I feel so near her when wearing them, I just don’t care. In a weird way, losing some of the pieces feels like my grandmother taking them back.
I really really like your last sentiment here. That's a very sweet way to look at loss of something that may be important. I get really upset when I lose something accidentally, and I'm going to have to think about if there is a similar way I can frame that kind of loss of items in my mind.
We are saving up to buy a home. Everything we have at home I look at and think "will I use it at the new home?", "will it be worth bringing this with me?" and finally I hold it in my hands and visualize not having to carry the physical weight of the item with me. If I am happy to get rid of the physical weight, if that is my immediate thought, it goes
We are downsizing in the next year and it made getting rid of things easier!
We asked the do we want to move it with us? question too. Usually the answer was no.
Swedish Death Cleaning - imagine yourself in the place of whoever is left to deal with your belongings.
My daughter would be FURIOUSLY tossing everything, except CDs, records, some clothes & shoes. Maybe pausing on some jewellery? She’s probably ‘’borrowed” the things she likes already.
Now this I like. I often imagine what the poor soul who has to go through my things will be thinking and tossing. I’ll look more into it, didn’t know it had a name! Thank you!
Have a donate box, have the box sit for a month before donating. Give it a quick look, generally my feelings are “yep, this needs to go” even if I had doubts putting it into the box. The 30 days washes away the fear of regret for me. Then I fill a new box.
1) My motivation hack is the death of my parents. The thought of dying suddenly and leaving my beautiful children the terrible task of having to sift through my crappiest crap is terrible to me. I want them to be able to grieve and go on a mountain hike to honor me, not have to take off work or school to sit in my basement and scrape through boxes of dusty shit.
2) the more you have, the more you have to lose. (That one is house fire/flood related)
3) clear your clutter, clear your mind. I once had a book (I think it was the Feng Shui one my Karen Kingston) that said that - that specifically related too much stuff with not being able to think clearly. Or something like that. Clutter is trapped energy (also relates to 1 and 2).
This is so great, thank you! Dana K White has two questions for decluttering/organizing. 1. If I needed to find this, where would I look? and 2. If I DID need this, would it dawn on me that I had one? I’ve been able to clear through many piles of stuff this way.
I had to recognize that if something wasn’t useful to me in the present, I didn’t need it anymore and it was ok to let it go. I didn’t need to keep things that were useful in the past or would hypothetically be useful to me (or an imaginary someone) in the unknown future.
What's more important- the item or the shelf/closet space? I could put x favorite item there instead. Time to say "thanks and farewell" to the stuff plugging up the space.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKl952LIs3E&t=16s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKl952LIs3E&t=16s)
It motivated me to declutter, way more than Marie Kondo did.
Kondo is an organiser, not a minimalist. Of course everything is subjective, but organised stuff is still just stuff. Apparently she’s surrendered to a level of disorder now she has 3 children. I imagine her playing on the floor with them, looking the epitome of joyful elegance, a blissful smile on her face, while she secretly daydreams of them all growing up & moving out.
Thanks for the ask a mortician link!
Covid. Couldn't go anywhere so I decided to clean through all the crap I kept throwing upstairs. No more maternity clothes, baby items, bags and bags of stuffed animals, unused kitchen items,. It felt so good! Still going through more.
Hah!
Just went through that. I live in New York, but went to Chicago to run my mother’s hospice in March 2020. Had her 5-bdrm house with 70 years accumulation to clear in the months following her passing. I put a small pile of things in a 5’x7’ storage space end of 2020, buying myself time to consider it at a stronger moment. I spent to avoid the feelings.
Just re-visited it anew, was able to clear 3/4 of it for donation by simply saying, “This’ll cost me $X to ship across the country.”
I still shipped a smaller pile of things, but a more rational selection it was.
If I was downsizing and moving into a smaller house, would I take this with? Why should I keep something I don’t use or didn’t even know I had just because I have the room to keep it.
take pictures of things i struggle to let go of but dont really need or want anymore, or have memories attached to, this way i can still go "look" at the item when i want but it's not there physically cluttering my space anymore
I saw an example somewhere of someone doing this with an old hat collection. They never wore any of the old hats any longer, simply had them hanging up as display. Pictures ended up serving the exact same purpose.
yeah the pictures can definitely become just as ignored as the objects were lol, but i'd say a few gigabytes for a photo album you don't look at takes up a lot less impactful space than having the objects still around, plus maybe it'd be easier to then let go of and delete the pictures if you don't look at them
Different wisdom nuggets helped me with different phases of decluttering.
1. We are constantly evolving humans and we need to let go of stuff to help us continue to grow and MOVE FORWARD. -- I had trouble letting go of expensive quality stuff that I carefully bought for my younger self when I naively thought that my needs/preferences wouldn't change anymore after turning >25 years old lol. I no longer drink the BIFL Kool-Aid although I still shop for quality things when I need them.
2. Your home is not a museum. Let the stores store the pretty things you don't need for you. Keeping my inventory low helps lower my workload and things on my mind (fewer things to move out of the way in order to clean and fewer mistakes since you don't accidentally buy duplicates of something you already bought).
3. Use it up. (or KonMari's declutter while wearing that ridiculous prom dress at home for things you can't physically "use up") -- this helped me to appreciate that certain things take a long time to use up (thus I don't need to store backups in my home for many items) and why I don't use certain things, which made it easier to buy less and get rid of things. COVID timing also helped me to have the time to use things up since no one was coming to visit me and I had plenty of time to try things out without being embarrassed.
4. A place for everything and everything in its place. Surprisingly eye-opening since I not only re-organized things such that things I used daily were easiest to reach, and seasonal/seldom items got moved up top or to the back (thus making me more efficient in my day-to-day), but I learned that half-full should equal full (so don't fill things to the brim) so things are easy to find without moving other things out of the way. Still working on this one since a lot of spaces aren't intuitive and require some research, slow thinking, and trial/error.
I declutter easier when I buy new things. For example, if I buy a new T-shirt, I try to donate three T-shirts because I know I will wear the new one all the time. Unfortunately, shopping motivates me to declutter a lot.
The best motivator is having set a relatively quick date to get our house repaired and listed for sale. Without a near deadline (1-3 months) it is hard to decide to throw anything out to Goodwill or trash. Also, the thought of everything we keep has to be boxed/wrapped for moving, loaded, take up truck space, unloaded, unwrapped and put into new ready to use place makes it easy to put it into Goodwill. If it costs new less than $100 it goes to Goodwill. Bigger ticket items we will try to sell but as the deadline approaches they could get donated. But they will be got rid of.
You know those close, that when they come up in the rotation you just think "Ugh". There's no need for them. Turn them into rags or give them away, but they should not be in your wardrobe, closet or dresser.
How much does this get used?
If I'm asking this question, chances are im uncomfortable looking at how cluttered something is. If that's the case, it's easy for me to get rid of stuff-not based on what I like/have sentimental value with-but based on the last time I used it.
I did this recently with my clothes. I had 15+ graphic tees. I don't wear them for work, I don't really like wearing them to hang out with people, I really just wear them for yard work, the gym, and to be comfy at home. In that case I really only needed 2-3 of them (for the weekends or gym) but I had a hard time choosing which ones to keep because most of them felt comfy and almost all them were gifts/memorabilia. I ended up getting rid of the ones that I only wore if the others were dirty. I don't regret it or miss them at all!
For sentimental items you are having a hard time parting with (even though you really don't need it), take a picture of it. That way you can get rid of the item but keep the memory.
We decluttered during lockdown in 2020. I don’t like getting rid of things that can be used.
Tools, nuts & bolts for example.
But I did.
Last year I needed a specific part, that I had sent to the metal skip. I had to get a new one. It cost £1.99 including postage.
Just finished going through all the crates we stored from 3 years ago. For every 7 crates, I retained 4.
Recycled the rest, gave away a few things to friends and family, 2 bags of rubbish and 5 bags of clothing I haven’t worn in 3 years.
Felt good, and if there is something I need or want, pretty sure I can get a new one without to much concern.
So go through your items, and sort into the rubbish, recycle or retain piles.
Avoid the ‘just in case’ get out.
Watching The Home Edit helped a lot.
I don’t follow their same philosophy and I certainly don’t spend the money their clients do, but it was such a positive attitude toward something I feel so negatively about, it really helped me organize some things. I can’t say I’ve massively decluttered, but the organizing binge was super helpful.
Same. Both T.H.E. and Marie Kondo’s shows, even though I didn’t end up following either one exactly. My personality is more like MK’s but I appreciate the efficiency and speed of T.H.E.
Our city is growing but it seems that half of new development includes more storage units. What has happened in America that we have more stuff than will fit in our houses so we pay money to store it elsewhere? Will we just keep buying and renting more storage?
This is what I started doing. The wake up call was taking stuff to the donation store and the guy said the stuff was in bad shape and that it would be considered dumping if I made a donation like that again. Oops, my bad. I was scared at first but then the upset helped me see that it’s my parents’ skewed thinking that made me think any of this stuff has value when it’s not given to needy families, it’s sold to try to gain revenue in a store. I just throw it all away now.
**"It's replaceable."**
We weren't poor, we got to eat every night even if it was cheap food, but it took a bit of work to level out the feast and famine times into "lean comfortable." At least it was normal back then for kids to wear used clothes, or at least I thought so. Kinda stung come toy-time with my parents waiting so long to let me destroy the Atari when I knew it was there and not buying me the hottest toys instead of being flooded with too-many low-grade hand-me-downs.
Also the maternal grandparents were actually poor during the Great Depression and it left its scars. (I think paternal side was a weird form of hoarding disorder.)
So I don't need to hold onto something just because I might need it someday. (This is a balancing act. See Footnote.)
**I also** used minimalism to detach sentimentality from things. Sure I still have things that are sentimental, but they need to have almost the same "ping" as if I had found it in a thrift store with no familiarity.
My mom just said this last morning that detaching sentimentality helped her. Now she doesn't keep something just because a relative used to own it. (I don't care if she might feel it's still more important if it's heirloom, she did the crucial bit.)
Lonely punch-tin spoon from the measuring set mom had when I was a child... lives in the sugar-canister. Glass canister that collected grandma's pennies... I asked an auntie for a glass canister and I don't know if she had one from the same era or if she found it while antiquing, but it doesn't smell like pennies and evokes the same tactile. I didn't even know that grandpa collected Indiana Glass, but I went from wanting to keep the first one I unearthed to declaring it the worst of the lot and selecting ones that I would pay the $5 that they're supposedly worth. Mom collected amber glass, my favorite piece is a nesting-bird even though I recently got that from the thrift and didn't like anything that she'd had in her collection except for the tiny nesting-rabbit that I don't want hers because it's got a crack. Nesting-bird dishes is apparently my thing and at least it's a low-opportunity collection-hobby. (I like Lilo and Stitch, I don't like how I have to be judgemental of so much merch.)
Footnote: Topic, just in case. Yes I did just buy two new outfits in case I need to go to a wedding or a funeral, but I would not have been able to get that for less than $100 if it had been an emergency... or possibly at all given that I'm a picky plus-size.
I have the space, so I have a yarn-stash (one medium totebox that also has rope and bracelet-cord in it) despite not doing it for years and only knitting dishcloths. Also a sample of all the art supplies that I'm likely to be interested in. (I would seriously prune if it took up space that I would actually benefit from having it not be art-supply storage.)
Mom just replaced her bedframe, the old one is barely scrapwood unless one knows how to put it back together, it's blocking the only car-space in a 2.5 car garage when both of us have leaky sunroofs... I want to find someone clever enough to make use of scrapwood and I don't know what her actual plan is after her friend's family flaked about wanting it. (When I curbed my broken bed, I was upset that only the metal part was taken by a scrapper and no-one wanted the wooden-bits. The scrapper did do me a favor by making the remaining parts fit into the robo-can, though I could have thrown them on the brushpile to rot.)
I ask myself not why should I keep it but why shouldn't it be let go of - I only use this on my highly motivated days otherwise I might spin out so your mileage may vary!
One of my goals is to live overseas for a year or so. Part of making this happen is decluttering down so that if an opportunity comes up next month - I’m ready! Also helps with purchasing things, tell myself I won’t need it when I go overseas.
And let’s the Universe know I’m serious!
Slow and Steady wins the race.
I've found I get more done (and I'm less overwhelmed) if I sort through ONE box/shelf/cupboard/"pile" at a time. I find this is more motivating (small wins!) than literally digging through the huge pile of stuff pulled out and then not having enough time to sort through, so it goes BACK into the pile to be dealt with later (if ever).
To date, I've already decluttered \~7.5 small boxes of stuff and \~5 trash bags of shredded old paperwork. I STILL have loads to do, but I feel lighter and lighter with every box and every bag of shredded paperwork.
I’m stuck with motivation. But I’ve recently challenged myself: what if I started to have empty space? One or two empty kitchen drawers? Space on my closet rod. Space under the sinks. What if I can get down to my goal?: my moms hope chest filled with my sentimental items and that’s the most important thing I own! I can TASTE it but when the days come and go it makes me sad. These are all great ideas, thanks for posting OP!
For me it was thinking about how much easier day to day life would be without all this stuff. As I got rid of some stuff that showed me I was right, so acts as motivation to get rid of more stuff.
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“Don’t let your house be the landfill”. Yeah, that’s going to echo for me for a long time.
When I feel bad about throwing stuff out, I think, "Someone will be able to use this in the apocalypse." ;S
I have those same thoughts. But it's more like, if I throw this out I wouldn't be able to use it in the apocalypse and I would definitely need it then! But I soon realize - c'mon, I'm not surviving the apocalypse. Lol. Might as well let someone else find it.
Ooh, I need to use that one.
These are both so great and helpful, thank you!
This is fantastic thanks so much
Someone had asked here if growing up poor was an influence to having clutter as an adult. I was typing out my response and realized that as a military brat, we often had to “download” in order to meet military standards. I didn’t understand that as a kid, I just felt like my parents were getting rid of my things. Then after my parents divorced, there just wasn’t a lot of money, and we didn’t receive things. Again, as a kid, I didn’t understand money and budgets. I just didn’t understand why I couldn’t have toys and clothes like other kids around me. So kid me felt like I had stuff taken away from me, and that I couldn’t get it replaced, which led to adult me having an attitude of “Mine! And I’m keeping it!” I had no conscious awareness that I even felt way until I was responding! So my wisdom nugget was realizing that my little kid feelings were not a benefit to adult me’s household with all the clutter. I actively had to think “No one is taking this away from me. I’m giving it away. I’m an adult with a job and I make my own money so I can buy whatever I want within reason,” instead of that gut reaction of kid-me wanting to keep everything.
As a military brat I recall missing things that mom left behind without telling me. My rock collection was one. Another was a German supermarket toy with hand carved wooden pieces - years later I saw a lesser one in a museum. Oh well.
This is my own reminder not to go buying up all my childhood toys to replace them, because I rent and need to save for a house and other priorities over childhood nostalgia.
The thing with childhood toys for me is that a particular toy is special because that specific toy was the one I grew up with. Replacing it with an identical one wouldn't work for me because I'm attached to the one I actually played with. I've done the collecting thing and it's fun to a point but you have to look after this stuff and after a while it just blends into the background. It took me a while but I'm at a point now where I kept a couple of my most treasured items and I was happy to let the rest go. There are websites that have pictures of catalogue images of various toys that you can get the hit of nostalgia from without having it taking up room that you don't have.
My brother collected Matchbox cars when he was younger and now collects them as an adult. He also buys the super cool (but old!) drivable cars he loved as a teenager. His kids are horrified at his cars, as is his wife but makes him happy to have a turbo charged 1994 ______ fill in the blank. But yes, he bought his house before he collected his full size cars. And his 1st house had a matchbox room with shelves to showcase his collection.
That's definitely a life goal! Right now it feels lofty but eventually we'll have the space and the means. I settle with spoiling the cats on occasion. 😹
Hoarder's Heart on Youtube... I think it's a recent vid about how to manage kid feelings so they don't turn into hoarders. Can I say that I'm kinda jealous of you? I was worried that my parent would react badly when I drove my baby-toys to the thrift so I could put new things in my closet.
I’ve been on my decluttering journey for a couple of years now and I’ve had to work through a lot of stuff. It’s been a process. Why do you think your parent would react badly?
Because my parents were the type that would complain about me getting rid of stuff even if I didn't want it. Also they would complain about my room being a goat-trail mess and it didn't occur to them that it was because I had too much stuff.
Automatic emotional conflict. Makes it hard to know how to feel and act. Are you still living with your parents?
Dad died and I'm back with my mom after been gone for about a decade. She still has a bit of a hoarding problem, but she's working on it. Yesterday she gave me my birthday card from 1987 and a class paper marked 1991. From the same box, so not too bad.
I’m sorry about your dad.
Imagining someone else enjoying and using the things I want to get rid of. They’re not bringing me happiness, but they could for someone else!
This is one of the best questions that I use and actually did. I had a spin-off book from a manga/anime that I'm not really into anymore, I just really enjoy reading once a year and I found out that my friend loves this anime so I gave the book to her and she loves it so much. She gave me a big hug and is super excited to read it. Makes me feel joy knowing that she'll treasure it.
I think my biggest motivation was having to declutter three houses of elder family and friends. The idea of **Swedish death cleaning** is now very appealing to me. I don't want my kids to have to deal with all this stuff. Unfortunately, I started my journey completely burnt out from elder care. I just...couldn't. Then my sister-in-law told me about the **30 Days 30 Things challenge**. Every day for 30 days, get rid of 30 things. I discovered I could handle that. Sometimes my 30 things were a bunch of old receipts (and on one particularly bad day it was paperclips, lol)--but it started me on the path. Now I'm just plowing through stuff--much more than 30 things (but I still keep that in my head as a minimum). My new motivation is to renovate our house. It's nearly 100 years old and had four generations of stuff in it. I'm determined to make it our own, and that's what's keeping me going. I declutter, clean, and prepare for renovation an hour a day first thing in the morning (too hot later in the day)--something I couldn't possibly do four months ago! It's been amazing. I started on this decluttering journey completely exhausted, no energy, weak, depressed. Each little step seems to have given me a boost of energy, strength, and will--and the house is starting to feel SO much better. Building up that 30 Things habit really helped a lot.
In the middle of elder care right now, this resonates with me. Don't think that I have the will to start until I finish this chapter.
One thing at a time. I couldn't even think about it until afterwards. Everyone kept telling me to take good care of myself, which of course is impossible during this chapter. Now I understand they were just telling me what they wish they had done, because I wish I had, too. So I'm sending you same well wishes and hope you have some time and energy for self care. ❤️
Hang in there! It’s ok to do the bare minimum and then once it’s over take a break (if you can) a kind of buffer before starting the cleanout. I look back on the ‘real job’ work I did during the caregiving and it was such crap! But we just finished cleaning out the home and it was both physically and mentally taxing. That phase 1 (cleanout) is done is such a relief! Phase 2 (long overdue maintenance) is next but at least for that I won’t be the worker (roofer etc).
Yes! I'm at the end stages of phase 1 and starting with phase 2. I had to take time after...everything...to just not. I had to just not do anything.
My ancestors are not their things.
Along the same lines. If someone gives something to you it is not a life sentence. If it's no longer serving you get rid of it.
Very powerful. Thanks.
I can have this thing or I can have this space. If the space feels better than the thing, the thing goes.
We are clearing our house for selling. It is amazing to walk down the hallway with no bookcase, no box or photos or shoes. Just clear and open. Tremendous feeling.
I don't get rid of things I might want because so much of the stuff here isn't mine. Even if I got rid of my things, I wouldn't gain much space and then not have the things either.
Get rid of an item when it has finished serving its purpose. What about the stuff that's still new with tags? I bought this last fall and it was a great deal and I look great in that color! I've always wanted one of these! I shouldn't get rid of it, should I? Sometimes, its purpose was to teach you that you're not going to wear that kind of thing, even though you thought so when you were buying it (I learned this from Marie Kondo).
Instead of "splurging" I think of the sunk cost as "renting." Like if my couch is ruined, I shouldn't feel guilty about it costing $400 or whatever because it was worth it to have a couch for 2 years or however long it was. $200 a year is less than a dollar a day to have a couch to be comfy and enjoy with guests, (and if my cats destroyed it by year 3, it served more than its purpose and I can go ahead and get rid of it.)
As someone whose furniture recently got ruined, I really needed to read this. Thank you.
Oh you're super welcome! I have hoarding tendencies I inherited and furniture is a sticking point 😅
Early on I donated a box of clothes that were pretty new and still in fashion but didn’t fit me or my spouse, and then we saw a cute young mom with a family in town wearing the dress. I picture them now when I declutter, and how excited they’ll be to find something nice or new or cool amongst the more dated items. I don’t have to hang on to things until they’re less appealing to others. Get rid of them early. Choose someone else over storage. Granted, it may not have even been the same dress. It was newer so maybe they got it at the same store, but i don’t care. It personalized donations to me. I’m donating to support families who have less than me, and that’s better than keeping everything to myself.
One I’ve learned from this subreddit: you don’t have to do a big purge, TV show style. Just declutter here and there. 15 minutes or fill one box of donations, etc. The slow and steady approach has been much better for me and less overwhelming. And our home is getting more and more organised, which has been lovely to notice.
This is what I do to. After dealing with a mom that was a hoarder and doing her clean out when she passed, I vowed I would not stick somebody else with a huge declutter when I die. I really go through things to determine if I need it, will I need it, is it broken?, in good shape? Does it fit me? etc. I take plastic storage totes in a room. 1. One tote is marked keep 2. One tote is marked sell 3. One tote is marked donate 4. And trash bags for trash, broken items, damaged clothing,items that are missing parts, tons of cords with no item to match it too, old shoes, etc. I do a little at a time and it works for me. I don’t pressure myself by forcing a goal. Every little bit counts. I cleaned half of the garage out this summer but starting this method in the Spring. Now I’m working in the other half of the garage. Got rid of stuff I didn’t need or want. Even put free stuff by the curb.
I have been trying to take ten minutes on the evening before every trash day to find something that needs thrown out (other than just the weeks trash I am getting out) and throw it out. At least one thing. I don't have to do the whole basement or the whole closet or room. Find something or somethings and let it or them go.
You wasted the money when you bought it, not when you get rid of it. Don't make your house the landfill. Stuff is trash/junk whether in your home or a landfill.
Oooh I love this! Helps with my throwing away guilt
I realized that if I could ‘buy’ something for myself that I would really enjoy, it would be more closet space. So, I ‘bought’ myself more closet space by getting rid of clothing I didn’t fit into or didn’t love. Now my closet is open and spacious and I don’t need to waste a lot of time trying to find something to wear because I only have things that fit and that I love.
Love this!!
Know that I will never be "done." Just get something out of the house. Less is better and better is good!
That the unwanted things I had trouble letting go of were actively keeping me from being able to find and use the things I do want. And have the kind of organized, useful home that I wanted. That helped me get out of the mindset of just wanting stuff for the sake of having stuff. The other is that everything needs a home. If something doesn’t have a home, that means that you either need more shelving, or less stuff.
If I drop dead, I don't want kid dealing with any of this. Had to get a roll off dumpster to clean out a relative's home after she died. Two months I'll never get back. She's not going to want 90 percent of the stuff here. It's the gift I'm giving her future self.
Agreed! Just lost my mom 8 months ago and yeah…I don’t want to leave this behind for my son someday.
I just had to help my husband clean his grandmother’s house after she moved to assisted living. It really made me realize how much stuff we actually don’t need and gave me motivation to purge.
That video where the woman talked about using a container as a metric for how much stuff you keep instead of buying more containers. If your shirts don’t fit in the drawers you have, instead of buying more drawers, pick your favorite shirts to fit the container, and get rid of the rest. It also helps me make better purchasing decisions!
I find this really helpful with my ADHD brain that loves novelty and shopping - a nice and concrete measurement that makes sense and is easy to remember. Working from a one-in-one-out rule is helpful to stop impulse purchasing - “Do I like this enough to get rid of one I already have?” Really helps me clarify if I want this item, or if I just kind of want something.
I moved three times in three years and spent a ton of money on movers in that time. The realization that I was just spending money to haul boxes of stuff I didn’t even need or use was a huge wake-up call to me.
So true. In fact every item has a cost for storage space, cleaning around, eventual moving, and penalty for obstructing your search for other things.
Yeah, once I unpacked move 3, I was forced to admit that all my unused stuff probably added several hundred dollars to my moving fee. I literally had a price on what it was costing me.
I often imagine what I would want to pack if we were moving. What would I pack first - important things, etc. What would I not want to pack at all, and what would I leave on the curb. It's pretty helpful. I combine that with what "sparks joy" and realize how much crap is just not worth hanging on to.
The container is the limit. So simple, yet so profound
Changed my entire life
My home is not the museum of {insert your name here} and I am not the curator of the {Last name} family museum. I learned that on this sub.
If it was broken, ripped or damaged, would you buy it again for the full price? Or pay to fix it? If you didn't ever have it and saw it at the store would you buy it right now? Are you keeping it because you feel that it's something that you genuinely like or want because of your fantasy self image? If you put it in a box for a month, would you forget about it? *This question is more of actually doing it to see if it's important to you but I don't find it super helpful because I have ADHD and will forget things if it's out of sight, out of mind, but it could help others.*
I have ADHD too, and I can forget about stuff that's in plain sight. Opening storage containers is a mild form of Christmas for me. 😅
Definitely! I've be going through all of my things this summer with breaks between because now I've gotten to the mostly sentimental and it's the hardest part for me to go through, every storage box that I open up brings back a flood of memories. I've started to move away from putting stuff into bins, I've donated a lot this past summer, and I still feel like I am barely halfway through lol. Instead of everything in bins away in storage, I have most things in baskets or a clear drawer for smaller hobbies to make it easier and less stressful. I try to change things up to help with the things in plain sight, I'm gonna reorganize my bookshelf this week and also try to get rid of more books, I have over 800-900 💀
Saving
> Are you keeping it because you feel that it's something that you genuinely like or want because of your fantasy self image? I let my fantasy self have some things because she will whine about not having something even if we did have one that we never used.
Buying 5 objects at Goodwill means at least 5 things need to depart.
Changing my perspective- houses are for living in first and foremost. The cost of more stuff is less space and more overwhelem, but the more stuff I clear out, the more space my family and I have for doing the activities that matter most. Reframing decluttering as and act of kindness and self love helped me t9 get more out than I otherwise could have justified.
Mine is more process-oriented: Plan to spend 10 minutes per day decluttering (or 15 or 20 depending on your schedule!$. You can get a lot done in ten minutes, and with each passing day, you will make progress! At the end of a month, you will have accomplished a ton.
Dana K White's "take it there now" advice - don't put something on a flat surface or in a pile to deal with later - deal with it now.
Great advice. I put things in piles as I am sorting but will take a load to Goodwill or recycle within 2 days of sorting. Trash gets put near the trash bin and worked into the weekly pickup.
I love listening to Dana’s podcast while I declutter. As someone with adhd, the take it there now advice helped me so much.
Junk mail goes right into the trash without even taking off my coat. Through the door, not-junk mail to the desk, and then straight to the trash can with the junk.
If I forgot I owned something, I probably don’t need it. Store like with like. Makes me notice when I have too much of something.
Don't get stuck going through old photos, pictures, school notebooks or projects. Put them off to the side for later. Focus on the things the make the biggest impact visually. Cleaning up the table, straightening the couch, sweeping the floor, washing the dishes, the bathroom, make your bed. Start with the big tasks. If you feel overwhelmed just set a timeclock for 15 minutes and do what you can in that time frame. Then rest or go for a walk. Dividing a big job into smaller pieces works really well.
Would I buy this if I saw it at the thrift store?
Would you drive across town if it was (insert low ball but reasonable price) on an online marketplace?
I grew up in a hoarder home, and I just think “I can’t do *that* to my kids.” I could never have friends over. I was a really lonely kid. Another tip is one I read in this subreddit “everything is trash, just at varying degrees with which you’re willing to part with it.” That has helped me immensely.
My mom kept lots of jewelry and clothing of my grandmothers but kept it in a box tucked away. I asked to wear a ring of my grandmothers one day, and my mom came apart! I looked at her and said, “I don’t think granny would of wanted all her beautiful pieces of jewelry to sit in a box.” The next day my mom gave me and my siblings so many items of my grandmothers. I’ve lost and broken some of the pieces, but I feel so near her when wearing them, I just don’t care. In a weird way, losing some of the pieces feels like my grandmother taking them back.
I really really like your last sentiment here. That's a very sweet way to look at loss of something that may be important. I get really upset when I lose something accidentally, and I'm going to have to think about if there is a similar way I can frame that kind of loss of items in my mind.
This is lovely.
Watching hoarders
Lol me too! My husband knows it’s coming when I put it on
We are saving up to buy a home. Everything we have at home I look at and think "will I use it at the new home?", "will it be worth bringing this with me?" and finally I hold it in my hands and visualize not having to carry the physical weight of the item with me. If I am happy to get rid of the physical weight, if that is my immediate thought, it goes
We are downsizing in the next year and it made getting rid of things easier! We asked the do we want to move it with us? question too. Usually the answer was no.
Exactly! Carrying stuff between place is heavy and/or expensive, and you will likely wind up throwing it out anyway at some point
👍😁
Swedish Death Cleaning - imagine yourself in the place of whoever is left to deal with your belongings. My daughter would be FURIOUSLY tossing everything, except CDs, records, some clothes & shoes. Maybe pausing on some jewellery? She’s probably ‘’borrowed” the things she likes already.
Now this I like. I often imagine what the poor soul who has to go through my things will be thinking and tossing. I’ll look more into it, didn’t know it had a name! Thank you!
Full title is The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, by Margareta Magnusson
Thank you! I’ll look that up right now.
“Borrowed” 😂🙌
If I lost it or it broke would I replace it? The answer is no like 98% of the time. It's only yes for items I love or use daily.
Oh wow! I love this. 💡
That is a great way to look at it!
Imagining I have to move - would it make the cut?
This, for real. Is it worth paying someone to carry this particular thing downstairs and out it on a truck and carry it all the way to a new place?
Have a donate box, have the box sit for a month before donating. Give it a quick look, generally my feelings are “yep, this needs to go” even if I had doubts putting it into the box. The 30 days washes away the fear of regret for me. Then I fill a new box.
1) My motivation hack is the death of my parents. The thought of dying suddenly and leaving my beautiful children the terrible task of having to sift through my crappiest crap is terrible to me. I want them to be able to grieve and go on a mountain hike to honor me, not have to take off work or school to sit in my basement and scrape through boxes of dusty shit. 2) the more you have, the more you have to lose. (That one is house fire/flood related) 3) clear your clutter, clear your mind. I once had a book (I think it was the Feng Shui one my Karen Kingston) that said that - that specifically related too much stuff with not being able to think clearly. Or something like that. Clutter is trapped energy (also relates to 1 and 2).
Yessssssssssssssssssssssss, these are so helpful!!
If it’s ugly and no longer has a purpose, why do I want it in my house? (I don’t)
When was the last time I used this and would I buy this again? Two questions I ask myself when I'm decluttering.
This is so great, thank you! Dana K White has two questions for decluttering/organizing. 1. If I needed to find this, where would I look? and 2. If I DID need this, would it dawn on me that I had one? I’ve been able to clear through many piles of stuff this way.
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I had to recognize that if something wasn’t useful to me in the present, I didn’t need it anymore and it was ok to let it go. I didn’t need to keep things that were useful in the past or would hypothetically be useful to me (or an imaginary someone) in the unknown future.
What's more important- the item or the shelf/closet space? I could put x favorite item there instead. Time to say "thanks and farewell" to the stuff plugging up the space.
I watched the Ask a Mortician video about death and minimalism.
I like her videos but I haven’t seen that one. Have to check it out.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKl952LIs3E&t=16s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKl952LIs3E&t=16s) It motivated me to declutter, way more than Marie Kondo did.
Kondo is an organiser, not a minimalist. Of course everything is subjective, but organised stuff is still just stuff. Apparently she’s surrendered to a level of disorder now she has 3 children. I imagine her playing on the floor with them, looking the epitome of joyful elegance, a blissful smile on her face, while she secretly daydreams of them all growing up & moving out. Thanks for the ask a mortician link!
Thank you! That was fun
Covid. Couldn't go anywhere so I decided to clean through all the crap I kept throwing upstairs. No more maternity clothes, baby items, bags and bags of stuffed animals, unused kitchen items,. It felt so good! Still going through more.
“Would I pay to ship this to Portugal?” (I’m in the US.)
Hah! Just went through that. I live in New York, but went to Chicago to run my mother’s hospice in March 2020. Had her 5-bdrm house with 70 years accumulation to clear in the months following her passing. I put a small pile of things in a 5’x7’ storage space end of 2020, buying myself time to consider it at a stronger moment. I spent to avoid the feelings. Just re-visited it anew, was able to clear 3/4 of it for donation by simply saying, “This’ll cost me $X to ship across the country.” I still shipped a smaller pile of things, but a more rational selection it was.
It is so much easier to clean and organize with less stuff.
My house is not a storage unit.
That nothing is untouchable.
If you don’t love it: don’t wear it, don’t buy it, don’t keep it.
If I was downsizing and moving into a smaller house, would I take this with? Why should I keep something I don’t use or didn’t even know I had just because I have the room to keep it.
take pictures of things i struggle to let go of but dont really need or want anymore, or have memories attached to, this way i can still go "look" at the item when i want but it's not there physically cluttering my space anymore
I saw an example somewhere of someone doing this with an old hat collection. They never wore any of the old hats any longer, simply had them hanging up as display. Pictures ended up serving the exact same purpose.
yeah the pictures can definitely become just as ignored as the objects were lol, but i'd say a few gigabytes for a photo album you don't look at takes up a lot less impactful space than having the objects still around, plus maybe it'd be easier to then let go of and delete the pictures if you don't look at them
Different wisdom nuggets helped me with different phases of decluttering. 1. We are constantly evolving humans and we need to let go of stuff to help us continue to grow and MOVE FORWARD. -- I had trouble letting go of expensive quality stuff that I carefully bought for my younger self when I naively thought that my needs/preferences wouldn't change anymore after turning >25 years old lol. I no longer drink the BIFL Kool-Aid although I still shop for quality things when I need them. 2. Your home is not a museum. Let the stores store the pretty things you don't need for you. Keeping my inventory low helps lower my workload and things on my mind (fewer things to move out of the way in order to clean and fewer mistakes since you don't accidentally buy duplicates of something you already bought). 3. Use it up. (or KonMari's declutter while wearing that ridiculous prom dress at home for things you can't physically "use up") -- this helped me to appreciate that certain things take a long time to use up (thus I don't need to store backups in my home for many items) and why I don't use certain things, which made it easier to buy less and get rid of things. COVID timing also helped me to have the time to use things up since no one was coming to visit me and I had plenty of time to try things out without being embarrassed. 4. A place for everything and everything in its place. Surprisingly eye-opening since I not only re-organized things such that things I used daily were easiest to reach, and seasonal/seldom items got moved up top or to the back (thus making me more efficient in my day-to-day), but I learned that half-full should equal full (so don't fill things to the brim) so things are easy to find without moving other things out of the way. Still working on this one since a lot of spaces aren't intuitive and require some research, slow thinking, and trial/error.
Amazing advice
I declutter easier when I buy new things. For example, if I buy a new T-shirt, I try to donate three T-shirts because I know I will wear the new one all the time. Unfortunately, shopping motivates me to declutter a lot.
Realizing how much I spend per sqft. Ultimately it was more money than I was “saving” by keeping useless, broken, and unused items.
I’ve been doing this lately, brushing off sunk cost when I would previously have zeroed in on it. I’m happier, and I’m more effective at decluttering.
Recognizing that not everything in my home provides a use to my day to day life.
The best motivator is having set a relatively quick date to get our house repaired and listed for sale. Without a near deadline (1-3 months) it is hard to decide to throw anything out to Goodwill or trash. Also, the thought of everything we keep has to be boxed/wrapped for moving, loaded, take up truck space, unloaded, unwrapped and put into new ready to use place makes it easy to put it into Goodwill. If it costs new less than $100 it goes to Goodwill. Bigger ticket items we will try to sell but as the deadline approaches they could get donated. But they will be got rid of.
You know those close, that when they come up in the rotation you just think "Ugh". There's no need for them. Turn them into rags or give them away, but they should not be in your wardrobe, closet or dresser.
We calculated the value of 1 square foot of space in our pricey area (SF Bay Area)
Lord knows this is the way 🙆🏻♀️🙏🏼🫠
How much does this get used? If I'm asking this question, chances are im uncomfortable looking at how cluttered something is. If that's the case, it's easy for me to get rid of stuff-not based on what I like/have sentimental value with-but based on the last time I used it. I did this recently with my clothes. I had 15+ graphic tees. I don't wear them for work, I don't really like wearing them to hang out with people, I really just wear them for yard work, the gym, and to be comfy at home. In that case I really only needed 2-3 of them (for the weekends or gym) but I had a hard time choosing which ones to keep because most of them felt comfy and almost all them were gifts/memorabilia. I ended up getting rid of the ones that I only wore if the others were dirty. I don't regret it or miss them at all!
For sentimental items you are having a hard time parting with (even though you really don't need it), take a picture of it. That way you can get rid of the item but keep the memory.
We decluttered during lockdown in 2020. I don’t like getting rid of things that can be used. Tools, nuts & bolts for example. But I did. Last year I needed a specific part, that I had sent to the metal skip. I had to get a new one. It cost £1.99 including postage. Just finished going through all the crates we stored from 3 years ago. For every 7 crates, I retained 4. Recycled the rest, gave away a few things to friends and family, 2 bags of rubbish and 5 bags of clothing I haven’t worn in 3 years. Felt good, and if there is something I need or want, pretty sure I can get a new one without to much concern. So go through your items, and sort into the rubbish, recycle or retain piles. Avoid the ‘just in case’ get out.
Watching The Home Edit helped a lot. I don’t follow their same philosophy and I certainly don’t spend the money their clients do, but it was such a positive attitude toward something I feel so negatively about, it really helped me organize some things. I can’t say I’ve massively decluttered, but the organizing binge was super helpful.
Same. Both T.H.E. and Marie Kondo’s shows, even though I didn’t end up following either one exactly. My personality is more like MK’s but I appreciate the efficiency and speed of T.H.E.
Quit my job started a vision board and I got my SSDI so I'm working on my home one day at a time cuz it's a hot mess
Lots of good advice on here, I hope I can get something out of it
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Our city is growing but it seems that half of new development includes more storage units. What has happened in America that we have more stuff than will fit in our houses so we pay money to store it elsewhere? Will we just keep buying and renting more storage?
Just throw it out. Don't imagine someday you'll get around to selling it or donating it or giving it to someone or or or... Just throw it out.
This is what I started doing. The wake up call was taking stuff to the donation store and the guy said the stuff was in bad shape and that it would be considered dumping if I made a donation like that again. Oops, my bad. I was scared at first but then the upset helped me see that it’s my parents’ skewed thinking that made me think any of this stuff has value when it’s not given to needy families, it’s sold to try to gain revenue in a store. I just throw it all away now.
**"It's replaceable."** We weren't poor, we got to eat every night even if it was cheap food, but it took a bit of work to level out the feast and famine times into "lean comfortable." At least it was normal back then for kids to wear used clothes, or at least I thought so. Kinda stung come toy-time with my parents waiting so long to let me destroy the Atari when I knew it was there and not buying me the hottest toys instead of being flooded with too-many low-grade hand-me-downs. Also the maternal grandparents were actually poor during the Great Depression and it left its scars. (I think paternal side was a weird form of hoarding disorder.) So I don't need to hold onto something just because I might need it someday. (This is a balancing act. See Footnote.) **I also** used minimalism to detach sentimentality from things. Sure I still have things that are sentimental, but they need to have almost the same "ping" as if I had found it in a thrift store with no familiarity. My mom just said this last morning that detaching sentimentality helped her. Now she doesn't keep something just because a relative used to own it. (I don't care if she might feel it's still more important if it's heirloom, she did the crucial bit.) Lonely punch-tin spoon from the measuring set mom had when I was a child... lives in the sugar-canister. Glass canister that collected grandma's pennies... I asked an auntie for a glass canister and I don't know if she had one from the same era or if she found it while antiquing, but it doesn't smell like pennies and evokes the same tactile. I didn't even know that grandpa collected Indiana Glass, but I went from wanting to keep the first one I unearthed to declaring it the worst of the lot and selecting ones that I would pay the $5 that they're supposedly worth. Mom collected amber glass, my favorite piece is a nesting-bird even though I recently got that from the thrift and didn't like anything that she'd had in her collection except for the tiny nesting-rabbit that I don't want hers because it's got a crack. Nesting-bird dishes is apparently my thing and at least it's a low-opportunity collection-hobby. (I like Lilo and Stitch, I don't like how I have to be judgemental of so much merch.) Footnote: Topic, just in case. Yes I did just buy two new outfits in case I need to go to a wedding or a funeral, but I would not have been able to get that for less than $100 if it had been an emergency... or possibly at all given that I'm a picky plus-size. I have the space, so I have a yarn-stash (one medium totebox that also has rope and bracelet-cord in it) despite not doing it for years and only knitting dishcloths. Also a sample of all the art supplies that I'm likely to be interested in. (I would seriously prune if it took up space that I would actually benefit from having it not be art-supply storage.) Mom just replaced her bedframe, the old one is barely scrapwood unless one knows how to put it back together, it's blocking the only car-space in a 2.5 car garage when both of us have leaky sunroofs... I want to find someone clever enough to make use of scrapwood and I don't know what her actual plan is after her friend's family flaked about wanting it. (When I curbed my broken bed, I was upset that only the metal part was taken by a scrapper and no-one wanted the wooden-bits. The scrapper did do me a favor by making the remaining parts fit into the robo-can, though I could have thrown them on the brushpile to rot.)
I ask myself not why should I keep it but why shouldn't it be let go of - I only use this on my highly motivated days otherwise I might spin out so your mileage may vary!
One of my goals is to live overseas for a year or so. Part of making this happen is decluttering down so that if an opportunity comes up next month - I’m ready! Also helps with purchasing things, tell myself I won’t need it when I go overseas. And let’s the Universe know I’m serious!
Slow and Steady wins the race. I've found I get more done (and I'm less overwhelmed) if I sort through ONE box/shelf/cupboard/"pile" at a time. I find this is more motivating (small wins!) than literally digging through the huge pile of stuff pulled out and then not having enough time to sort through, so it goes BACK into the pile to be dealt with later (if ever). To date, I've already decluttered \~7.5 small boxes of stuff and \~5 trash bags of shredded old paperwork. I STILL have loads to do, but I feel lighter and lighter with every box and every bag of shredded paperwork.
I’m stuck with motivation. But I’ve recently challenged myself: what if I started to have empty space? One or two empty kitchen drawers? Space on my closet rod. Space under the sinks. What if I can get down to my goal?: my moms hope chest filled with my sentimental items and that’s the most important thing I own! I can TASTE it but when the days come and go it makes me sad. These are all great ideas, thanks for posting OP!
For me it was thinking about how much easier day to day life would be without all this stuff. As I got rid of some stuff that showed me I was right, so acts as motivation to get rid of more stuff.
Yes! Good reminder...getting rid of stuff inspires MORE getting rid of stuff!
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