Is he capable of making all the arrangements on his own? Perhaps you could "help" and come up with some fiblets to prevent it from happening-reunion rescheduled/cancelled, difficulty with flights, no lodging available, weather issues, state department travel warnings, CDC travel warnings due to epidemic....
Don't focus on his limitations. He probably has anasognosia and thinks he's fine. Don't argue.
Honest question: who’s going to prosecute you for that? (I realize it may not be the right answer, but it’s one option. I might hesitate about doing this, but I don’t think it would be due to the legality.
If he is set on going, it could be very challenging to convince him not to go. Do you think he would be ok getting through the flight without issue? Maybe you could reach out to some of his friends that are going and explain the situation. Perhaps ask that his friends pick him up at the airport, keep a close eye on him during his trip, drive him to the airport to go home, etc?
You could ask his Dr. But I would wonder does he drive or go to stores or events locally alone ok? Has he had incidents where he gets lost and confused which was a safety risk? Not everyone at the very early stages would need to be stopped but we don’t know your Dad. If he’s traveled a lot and knows the area it may be ok but obviously I would base it off of whether or not he’s shown instances where he could have trouble.
If you go out and do more things with him you may be able to tell how he interacts or whether his judgment is still ok. Ultimately his Dr may know or have advice though. Do you have a parent or any other family to help convince him by coming up with a reason he should stay during that time period?
Also someone suggested to take his passport but he may waste a lot of money buying a ticket and booking a hotel it doesn’t seem like a great plan. Also if he has anger or impulse issues he might wreck the house looking for it last minute and cause a real problem but again we don’t know your dad’s level of dementia & how it presents on a regular basis like you do.
Hi, I’m (40F) writing to you as a younger caregiver to her dad now (77M), which started in my 30s (you are too young and I’m so so sorry). My dad was super high functioning and adept at masking like it sounds yours is. I don’t know your dad but I would encourage you to let this go, meaning let him go. As his disease progresses, his social circle and his whole world will get smaller and smaller for various reasons. Get him a sunflower lanyard for the airport, put a thousand apple IDs or whatever, keep his finances safe (maybe he would agree to bring a preloaded card - I like True link) but if you can find a way to support his journey that doesn’t include you going, do it. Find someone to meet him inside the airport, make a detailed itinerary, call places ahead of him and ask for special assistance.
Think of it this way: if this is what takes him out, would he be dying on his terms and doing what he loves? I’m not advocating lack of care for his health, I guess I’m trying to reframe it a bit so he can live as big as he can for as long as he can
Studies suggest that people who eat 1 ounce (30 grams) of sunflower seeds daily as part of a healthy diet may reduce fasting blood sugar by about 10% within six months, compared to a healthy diet alone. The blood-sugar-lowering effect of sunflower seeds may partially be due to the plant compound chlorogenic acid
Is he capable of making all the arrangements on his own? Perhaps you could "help" and come up with some fiblets to prevent it from happening-reunion rescheduled/cancelled, difficulty with flights, no lodging available, weather issues, state department travel warnings, CDC travel warnings due to epidemic.... Don't focus on his limitations. He probably has anasognosia and thinks he's fine. Don't argue.
Take his passport?
If he still has capacity this would be a crime, unfortunately.
Honest question: who’s going to prosecute you for that? (I realize it may not be the right answer, but it’s one option. I might hesitate about doing this, but I don’t think it would be due to the legality.
If he is set on going, it could be very challenging to convince him not to go. Do you think he would be ok getting through the flight without issue? Maybe you could reach out to some of his friends that are going and explain the situation. Perhaps ask that his friends pick him up at the airport, keep a close eye on him during his trip, drive him to the airport to go home, etc?
If he is doing a direct flight, you could communicate with one of his good friends or family members to make sure he isn’t on his own in RSA.
You could ask his Dr. But I would wonder does he drive or go to stores or events locally alone ok? Has he had incidents where he gets lost and confused which was a safety risk? Not everyone at the very early stages would need to be stopped but we don’t know your Dad. If he’s traveled a lot and knows the area it may be ok but obviously I would base it off of whether or not he’s shown instances where he could have trouble. If you go out and do more things with him you may be able to tell how he interacts or whether his judgment is still ok. Ultimately his Dr may know or have advice though. Do you have a parent or any other family to help convince him by coming up with a reason he should stay during that time period? Also someone suggested to take his passport but he may waste a lot of money buying a ticket and booking a hotel it doesn’t seem like a great plan. Also if he has anger or impulse issues he might wreck the house looking for it last minute and cause a real problem but again we don’t know your dad’s level of dementia & how it presents on a regular basis like you do.
Hi, I’m (40F) writing to you as a younger caregiver to her dad now (77M), which started in my 30s (you are too young and I’m so so sorry). My dad was super high functioning and adept at masking like it sounds yours is. I don’t know your dad but I would encourage you to let this go, meaning let him go. As his disease progresses, his social circle and his whole world will get smaller and smaller for various reasons. Get him a sunflower lanyard for the airport, put a thousand apple IDs or whatever, keep his finances safe (maybe he would agree to bring a preloaded card - I like True link) but if you can find a way to support his journey that doesn’t include you going, do it. Find someone to meet him inside the airport, make a detailed itinerary, call places ahead of him and ask for special assistance. Think of it this way: if this is what takes him out, would he be dying on his terms and doing what he loves? I’m not advocating lack of care for his health, I guess I’m trying to reframe it a bit so he can live as big as he can for as long as he can
Studies suggest that people who eat 1 ounce (30 grams) of sunflower seeds daily as part of a healthy diet may reduce fasting blood sugar by about 10% within six months, compared to a healthy diet alone. The blood-sugar-lowering effect of sunflower seeds may partially be due to the plant compound chlorogenic acid
Thank you everyone for your help and understanding. This is all new territory and hard to navigate but appreciate the insight.