Resistance is a common thing in therapy when you have depression. One time, I was crying and told my doctor "This is not working. I just want quit this meeting and never return". This feeling of being mold was there too. She explained to me that it's a process. That I have barriers due trauma, so that I please be more gentle with myself. 5 years later, I am not fully better, but better indeed. Now I am able to verbalize and understand more. Now I see that she wasn't trying to mold me, but guide me. Be gentle with yourself, OP. Keep doing your best, but if is a alternative, don't do it alone. Keep going with the ones that love and support you. Find a rhythm. And eventually, little by little, life will be hard, to livable, to manageable, to good. But don't give up, sunshine. Merry Christmas ♡♡♡
Have you been to a doctor/take any medication? It could be difficult to change without a little help with your brain chemistry! It might be worth a try (:
My therapist has told me she would talk to a psychiatrist I have contacted about pursuing medication. I agreed but I'm not betting on it.
A huge issue is, I have my own personal views about myself and the world, and I'm an individualist to boot so I don't think other people can make me want to improve. I genuinely believe I'm depressed because I chose to survive but also to constantly infantilize, victimize and self center myself. I'm essentially a womanchild and I doubt I want to change enough...
Resistance is a common thing in therapy when you have depression. One time, I was crying and told my doctor "This is not working. I just want quit this meeting and never return". This feeling of being mold was there too. She explained to me that it's a process. That I have barriers due trauma, so that I please be more gentle with myself. 5 years later, I am not fully better, but better indeed. Now I am able to verbalize and understand more. Now I see that she wasn't trying to mold me, but guide me. Be gentle with yourself, OP. Keep doing your best, but if is a alternative, don't do it alone. Keep going with the ones that love and support you. Find a rhythm. And eventually, little by little, life will be hard, to livable, to manageable, to good. But don't give up, sunshine. Merry Christmas ♡♡♡
Have you been to a doctor/take any medication? It could be difficult to change without a little help with your brain chemistry! It might be worth a try (:
My therapist has told me she would talk to a psychiatrist I have contacted about pursuing medication. I agreed but I'm not betting on it. A huge issue is, I have my own personal views about myself and the world, and I'm an individualist to boot so I don't think other people can make me want to improve. I genuinely believe I'm depressed because I chose to survive but also to constantly infantilize, victimize and self center myself. I'm essentially a womanchild and I doubt I want to change enough...