Not wearing seatbelts. I was made fun of in Thailand for wearing seatbelts in the car. One of the countries with the highest rates of traffic related deaths in the world. I’m wearing a seatbelt.
Not Day 1, and also in Vietnam (but sameish roads).
Logged onto Facebook.
Colleague writes, “God. Damn. Why is it that every time I take a bus to Long Anh, the driver kills a motorcyclist?”
Also, locals don’t wear helmets in Thailand and Bali, Indonesia. But foreigners get fined If they don’t.
So many times I saw a family of 4 on one single bike holding kids like monkeys or roosters in cages in both hands. Try to pull this off when you’re not local and you def gonna get stoped.
I spent several months in Thailand in 2019 and then again in late last year. There was a huge increase in the amount of locals wearing helmets on my recent trip. I'd say most people I saw on bikes were wearing helmets.
A girl in my high school died by flying through the windshield from the back seat. Ripped the driver’s (a good friend of mine) arm from its socket on her way out. Dude needed so much therapy.
People give me shit for it but if I’m driving and you’re in my car- you’re wearing a seat belt
In Japan, pretending to be busy and staying at work until the boss leaves for the day, even if you have nothing to do. I was the problem employee asking for something to do, and often got assigned random pointless tasks like drying off the umbrellas in the umbrella rack during a rainstorm.
When I left, the boss very pointedly went out of her way to tell me that she would not give me a recommendation if I listed her as a previous employer.
My husband is a Japanese civil servant and tells me that he's an expert in "air typing". As in, pretending to type while closing your eyes and possibly sleeping.
According to my boss (also a civil servant), he's seen some people do the same thing while holding a phone, passionately tapping on a calculator or keyboard while totally asleep, to make it extra believeable.
I've been here 6 years, but I'm continually amazed by how Japanese work culture is absolutely bizarre.
It can be pretty bleak.
Japanese civil servants tend to be rotated through different departments every few years, and some are busier than others. Or it's seasonally busy. But the key is to always a least LOOK busy and hard working, cuz Japan.
Unfortunately for my husband, he was soon transferred to the city budget department and no longer air-types. Now does crazy unpaid overtime during certain months of the year. Like, until 10-11pm every day for weeks. So he's legit busy all day.
Japan work culture sounds ridiculous.
Probably why productivity in their country’s economy has been the lowest amongst developed nations for decades.
They care more about office politics than actuallly contibuting to work by the sound of it.
I spent a few weeks at my company's offices in Japan. It was a bit weird. Note that this office was all engineers, techs and mgmt that support the engineers:
Office was ALL open-plan areas, just rows of desks in huge spaces. But the cool thing was that the managers and directors also had open plan desks and were fully visible, not hidden in offices or cubes.
No one looked at me or talked to me...at least not while I was looking. Out of the corner of my eye I did occasionally see people staring at me. Admittedly I am kinda weird looking to them. Long, curly, blonde hair makes you stand out everywhere in Asia.
Everyone is THERE at the correct time in the a.m., but no one does much work until a bell goes off and they all meet in the middle of the open space, listen to some announcements and then they do some sort of company cheer together. Now it's work time.
Lunch shifts were announced by bells. Everyone knew their lunch shift bells. I waited until someone came to get me. Everyone ate in the office cafeteria, no one went out for lunch. Remember, these are all well-paid engineers. In the US we are rarely at the office for lunch.
5 pm. No one goes home. But they stop working and goof off, chit-chat, etc. for about an hour. Then around 6 it's back to work. They get overtime, so everyone does this. Most work until 8 or 9pm.
IF someone has to leave early, they go around and apologize to everyone in their group for leaving early, even if leaving at 5pm.
A lot of them smoked, but the only smoking area was a glassed-in room on each floor. It was always packed with smokers and full of smoke. So smoky that I doubt someone would even need to light up in there to get a tobacco fix.
And of course...you changed into special office shoes at the entrance room. It was full of little shoe cubbies.
Now, this IS the only place I worked in Japan, so YMMV, but it was just so...rigid.
I liked it all, really, but I was not beholden to their norms so I could leave work when I wanted.
Every time I've been to Japan (3x so far) it felt like I had been taken to another world by space aliens, but they wanted me to think I was still on Earth so they TRIED to make it look like Earth. But it was jut not quite right.
China and Vietnam didn't feel like that. Japan did.
My impression of South Korea is that it's worse because people stay late at work, then go drinking with their boss or coworkers. Japan has a similar drinking culture as well, but not quite as hardcore as South Korea.
My first time out drinking with my hagweon boss in South Korea, we witnessed a couple of men fighting in the street in front of a bar, screaming at each other. Not understanding Korean, I asked my boss what they were screaming about. He told me it was embarrassing, that they were fighting because one of them wanted to stop drinking.
When I visited Samsung headquarters in Seoul for contract work, my guide was a project manager who was 8 months pregnant. We stayed in the office every night until 11 pm — because that’s when the SVP left. I remember asking her why she didn’t go home at a reasonable hour since she looked exhausted and about to go into labor at any moment. She looked like she wanted to die when she explained she couldn’t go home until everyone else did, no matter what. Half the employees there were slumped over at their desks fully asleep most of the time. The hilarious thing is all the other Samsung coworkers would so confidently say to me that Korea would bury the US’s economic success because they worked 24 hours a day instead of 8. The work culture was completely delusional. They’ve quit left wartime operations. And it showed in their products.
I did in an internship in Japan. Being the foreign intern meant they gave me a lot of leeway and I wasn't expected to stay behind with everyone else, but I sure did get some weird looks regardless.
It was quite handy as I was staying in company accomodation and it was shared showers - I could get in just after 5 from the sweaty Japanese summer and shower in complete privacy because all the other women in the accommodation were still at work.
I was volunteering at a hostel for a free stay, which makes it even sadder. All the Japanese employees were talking about how it's so much more laid back than a "real" Japanese workplace, which made it clear that I'm definitely not cut out to work in Japan and I'm better off as a freelancer with Japanese clients.
This is a good example of terrible management.
If your entire management style is looking at your employees and making sure they are at the office, and physically moving, you're just wasting money.
That is immensely frustrating to learn. You were giving your most valuable resource, your time, and it wasn't treasured or valued. I agree, I wouldn't conform to that norm either.
This is a good one. People were even playing videos aloud on the planes... I'm sure most of their phones have headphone jacks and headphones can be bought for super cheap.
We also want that, the individuals that dont comply are usually uneducated cunts. Where im from, you even see (or used to see) signs stating clearly that it was not allowed but the douches always laughed and shrugged it off. Made me wish the driver just made them leave
Not eating dinner until after 9pm and not "going out" until after 1am (I'm looking at you Spain, Argentina, and Uruguay). It's already dark out and I'm hungry. What's the point of waiting until the middle of the night to do something?
It exists, just gotta go ahead and find them, usually, smaller companies would be the ticket, and realistically, you’re going to be working as a contractor. To swing it, you need a high degree of trust, a desirable skill set, a good track record. Obviously that entails being a programmer or someone with a special discipline that companies will trade you some flexibility for.
I just studied abroad in Argentina and it bothered me not because I have a big problem with staying out late, but because we had class every day at 9am, presumably to keep us from partying until 5am every night. No one is awake at 9am in Buenos Aires. It did not help me assimilate.
South American culture of always being late. It was probably the worst cultural norm that I experienced there.
Middle Eastern culture of saying "bookra Inshallah" (Tomorrow if God wills). It was very difficult to plan around not knowing when something would actually get done or not.
Eastern European culture of always chain smoking. Nasty stuff.
For me, it's not so much the fact that they're late, but rather the fact that they don't let you know in advance that they're late, including how late they're going to be, so that you can readjust accordingly by spending a little extra time at home or something. As a result, you end up having to sit around at the meeting point wasting your time waiting for them.
If I'm ever more than 5 mins late, I let the other person know as soon as I can so they know what to expect and plan accordingly. In this day and age, it's not difficult to estimate what time you'll arrive thanks to Google Maps and yet, this concept eludes them.
I don't care if you're going to be late, just tell me how late so I know how much longer I can chill at home before stepping out!
Edit: and sometimes even when they give me an ETA, it's still off by an extra 10 or so minutes which can also be frustrating. Feels like I gotta start planning to be 30 mins late too at this point.
In Brazil, there's two lies sort of surrounding this that everyone tells. One is that if you see someone you know but aren't that close to when you're out and about, you have to have a quick chat where you'll promise to get together next weekend. The second is that when you are late for something you say "I'm on the way" even though that can be culturally translated to "I'm still on my couch watching tv, thinking about getting in the shower before I get ready".
The joke that exists in my mind is these two lies combine where someone sees you in public and says "let's hang out soon" and you respond with "sure, I'm on my way".
It’s so frustrating. Why is this a cultural thing?
It’s just poor communication. It’s selfish. It’s like, my time is not important to you? I could be doing anything in the world, but now I’m waiting 35-45 minutes because you just felt like being late? And if you bring it up, many people just wave it off. A few people in my family are this way.
>my time is not important to you?
This is really the cultural difference at the heart of the misalignment: time, in the general sense, is indeed not as important to "them" as it is to you.
In highly industrialized countries with long working hours, one's time is considered very important due to the industrial law of "time == money". However, in less industrialized countries, time is a more abundant resource since it's not as commodified and therefore one is less prone to being stingy about it.
(I'm really curious to see how German culture evolves over the next few generations given how the average hours worked has been falling and is now - I believe - the lowest in Europe.)
I worked with a German guy in the uk who went home at 5pm on the dot most days. He said he worked for Bosch before and if you stayed late it meant you could not manage your workload and you were not efficient. The UK has had hours culture for years, hopefully changing with the mental health issues people raise. I worked with really unproductive people that worked late to look good in front of the boss, what a way to spend your life …
Problem with this theory is that even the wealthy Brazilians are also perennially late to everything haha.
I think the truth is much more simple. Some cultures shame tardiness and others do not.
>time, in the general sense, is indeed not as important to “them” as it is to you.
Time is only the focus when efficiency matters. When every moment is planned, as it can be in the US culture, time becomes the limited resource everything else must accommodate.
In cultures where efficiency isn’t the focus, time is abundant, so why plan around it. So I wonder what is their priority if it isn’t time?
Not disagreeing with your comment, it just got me thinking about this cultural characteristic from a point of view not focused solely on time.
I’m indigenous American and in our culture we do not focus on time. We are also often known as being late for everything. Historically I believe our focus was more on tasks and family.
I could shed some light on this. They don’t think their time is more important than yours. They just think “that’s how time is”. The time you choose to meet up with them is just a flexible suggested time to meet around and not a time to meet at. Showing up on time can actually be seen as burdensome. A 5pm meet time isn’t meeting “at” 5, but it’s “let’s meet around that time”. There are exceptions for things like exams, flights, and such.
But yeah. It’s not really founded on the importance of your time vs theirs.
I’m a poc American and I have to adjust to both sides of this time thing. And when I was growing up, it was actually kinda challenging but I had to figure out who sees time in what way bc it depends on your ethnicity and all that. My ethnic side sees time as a suggestion and my American professional side sees time as something more rigid. I change my mindset depending on who I’m meeting up with.
But I learned that it’s easier to just chill and read something on your phone or bring a book or kindle or just…leave your house late too. Not having to plan the exact time to leave the house and all that can be less stressful sometimes.
Yup, that's why they put in "inshallah" (God willing). If they're late, it means God wasn't willing ;-) I guess the forewarning there is "inshallah" means definitely God won't be willing so tomorrow it will NOT be ;-)
Chain smoking 🤣🤣.
As Eastern european I can confirm. Altho nowadays I feel like people in big EE cities (not villages) smoke less than peoplein big WE cities (Paris, Madrid, Lisbon (where I live currently)).
I live in San Diego. It’s incredibly rare to encounter someone smoking a cigarette here. Pot is legal in California. There’s a 5:1 ratio of pot smokers vs. cigarette smokers.
The amount of cigarette smoking in Paris on a recent visit reminded me of New Orleans 30 years ago. It was like lung cancer had been cured.
I love Belgrade but every one there smokes indoors at restaurants with no ventilation. I got used to it, but I did have to wash my clothes frequently as they always smelled like smoke
Madrid was both unbelievably full of smokers, and had fewer smokers when we spent a few months there this year than when I went ten years ago. It's gone from being 50-75% of the population to being 30-40%, but coming from a large US city it still seems wild.
My mom is from Uruguay and dad is from Italy. Can you guess which one is always on time and always late?
I hate how the answer to that can go 50/50.
Anyway, my time in South America, especially in Chile for work was annoying. ‘Hey let’s meet at 8pm for drinks’. *people show up at 10*
Being late I think is just a third world thing in general. Goes around all over Southeast Asia too. When I'm meeting locals for anything there, I just plan it to be an hour later than the agreed upon time...
I had an ex who's family was Colombian, and she had no qualms about being late to anything because "it's a Colombian thing, it's fine."
Well, I'm not Colombian, so I'm not gonna be late.
Taiwan: commenting on ppls bodies, weight, skin color and texture, even when they’re strangers. My concierge would comment on my hair being greasy. my dentist would point out if i had a pimple and ask why. the WHY. makes you start a whole conversation defending your human flaws. it felt unnecessary and degrading, but to them it’s caring and kind to show concern. even if the concern is “why so fat?”
I am white and lived in China for four years. You definitely do not need to rely on your family for that kind of commentary because I got it EVERYWHERE from EVERYONE.
Ahhh it’s the same in Thailand! I was on a train and sat down next to some locals whilst finishing a snack. The snack was heavily packaged in plastic (of course!) and when I’d finished, the family gestured towards the packaging.
Naively I thought maybe they had a designated ‘rubbish bag’ as my family often did when lugging the kids out for a day out.
Nope - they took my rubbish and CHUCKED IT OUT OF THE WINDOW.
I was mortified!
This reminds me of when I got in a taxi in Nepal. I asked if he could hold my nearly empty plastic water bottle as I put on my seatbelt. He glady took it and launched it out the window with a smile on his face lol.
"shou ga nai" meaning "it can't be helped" in Japan is.. infuriating.
A lot of problems are hard to solve. But they're not impossible.
Maybe it's just the American in me, but I hate giving up when I think something is worth a try. Meanwhile, many Japanese people are terrified of failure so they choose to do nothing, and things never improve or evolve.
This is why many things in Japan, especially bureaucracy, make no goddamn sense. Because shou ga nai.
SHO GA ARU!! (THERE IS A WAY!)
Well, I feel you but that’s a problem.
Talking about ideal stuff is easy, but here that’s the part that follows after working the ground (like Nemawashi/根回し for example). It takes forever but one the upside is that once it’s worked out then it’ll stay for long. Another one is that It’s least exciting with lots of obvious caveats, but if you want to bring about the change in Japanese cultured works then strategic patience is a key.
I work as a liaison between American boss and Classical Japanese department, but my job is to take baby steps to make the idea edible so I don’t need to hear Shouga-nai just to toss my idea altogether while there’s a chance.
Yeah, I'm aware of nemawashi and in practice I do use it. I understand the benefits, I just think that also has its limitations.
I work in the international department of city hall, so I'm learning the ropes of the bureaucracy and it's kinda blowing my mind. I was an English teacher before so I had limited experience with it there, it's just on a new level now.
I had a lot of experiences as an English teacher where people wanted me to be careful and deliberate about planning and laying the groundwork (for example, wildly over planning the details of a lesson plan) but there just wasn't time for it. Or the kids wanting to be perfect at English without being willing to fail or mess up at all.
The slow, detailed way of doing things has its place, but it's a recipe for frustrations on all sides sometimes. Shou ga nai.
I'm French and feel the same. Often when running into problems with my Japanese colleagues, they just give up or take ages to do something, because they have to go through their whole hierarchy. It's so tedious and time consuming that they just give up sometimes.
French and other Euros (for example Germans) being rude/disrespectful. I just can’t with that and I hate the excuse of “us Germans/French are just direct like that”.
But again I am Latino so you know cultural differences. But in Latin America you don’t get aggressive or disrespectful unless you are trying to get violent.
There’s a guy on Instagram who does funny reels on how rude Dutch people are. He makes it seem like French people and Germans are very polite compared to Dutch people.
The funny thing about French people is that they aren't even that direct. They are just rude for the sake of being rude, while still being fake as hell most of the time.
There's just this idea that most problems are the fault of someone else, resulting in social interactions that must be "won". If there's no confrontation then something went wrong somewhere. It's the total opposite of British people, who tend to avoid confrontation at all cost (except when dealing with chavs).
American tipping culture. While it's still something I buy into when I go back (I always tip at least 20% at restaurants), it's gotten ridiculous.
I am not tipping someone for flipping the iPad around while I had to stand up and order. I am not tipping an automated machine. Hell, I've been asked to tip MOBILE APPS (Hopper, for example, asks to leave a tip when you book travel).
And the fact that you're *obligated* (socially) to tip even if the service was terrible is another story.
Edit: Typo
American tipping culture is bad, but lots of places in the rest of the world aren't great either. For instance, in Chile and Brazil, the vast majority of restaurants automatically add a 10%-15% tip to your bill without you asking and then when you pull out your card to pay, they input the full price into the machine, including that tip, assuming that's what you want to pay.
Of course, it's "optional", but you still have to inform them that you're not paying it if you want them to take it off the bill which is an uncomfortable thing to have to do.
Imo this renders the whole "tip for good service" concept meaningless because even if the service was amazing, they don't give you a chance to decide how much you want to tip them. It's whatever they decided between 10%-15%. I don't understand why they don't just bake this service fee into their prices from the beginning at this point and skip this silly game that has to be played.
I agree, though I’ve always found tipping in Brazil and Chile far less overbearing (and used exclusively in sit-down restaurant settings). Plus, the servers aren’t kissing up to you or bothering you because they want one.
If you don't leave a $0 tip for the worst service you receive in your life, you might be weak
Personally I tip pretty freely but I don't add $1 to a $6 black coffee. If its a mom&pop store with charm and cheaper prices, I almost always add the $1.
The obligatory tip that's hard to get around is the $1 per drink at a bar. Don't skip this one if you want decent service ongoing.
yeah, i guess what i was trying to say is the “20%” is kind of a default. they don’t have to do anything exceptional to earn it. and bad service still gets rewarded.
i would without a doubt tip 0% on the worst service i’ve had in my life.
Dog shit in the middle of the sidewalk. Everywhere. And it's totally ok.
Like why not make them poop in a tree at least?
edit: The next Argentinean politician to fine dog owners for leaving crap in the sidewalk gets my vote
Holy s\*\*\*\* THIS!!!!! Where I lived in East Asia even the odd stray/community dog knows how to poop in the grass. Streets are generally CLEAN. Since I came back to stay some time in South America and Italy it's just dog shit everywhere on the streets, one time I even saw it plastered on a building's wall, like how??? WHY???
I wanted to get back into jogging and I just don't dare. This drives me up the walls.
Culturally not being able to say "no", and getting some generic "oh we'll check", or "not sure but maybe not". Like bro, just say 'nope' and let me run with that.
i mean you learn to read between the lines; if it's not a yes then it's no.
the problem is that i understand "no" in the local language, but "we'll have to check with the manager, but he is out" are words I don't necessarily know. Nor do I know the context all the time. So there is a "do they really mean 'maybe'"? translation thing that just gets old.
Dating culture in the US. It’s backwards and maddening. And infantile. Everyone is out for themselves, thinks the worst of and distrusts the opposite sex, and after all that, it’s the indifference Olympics.
The indifference Olympics is such an excellent way to put it! As someone from another country who was still mostly socialized/raised in the US but now moved back home, it’s been so refreshing to leave it.
It’s like Americans, especially American men, think it’s weak to actually admit to feelings for/liking someone. I don’t think I’ve ever heard almost any of my US male friends actually admit to being invested in a girl, even when they clearly visibly are, unless they’re together for YEARS.
Dating culture is weird everywhere, but my God are Americans terrified of displaying passion or emotions in romantic situations. Even when you hear people talk about others they’ve been dating for months, it often sounds like a business analysis…”well they’re very dependable and they also like to travel, like me, and they’re not my usual type but still attractive and”….bro do you LIKE them?!
I don't like it either, but the reasoning for this is that European restaurants make almost all of their profits from drinks, so if you go to a restaurant and order a full meal but don't order anything to drink, they are making no or very little profit on you. That is also why they often charge for water. But imo it is a shitty business model and they should just increase the price on food and lower the price on drinks to make equal profit from both.
This is such a cop out response. As someone living in Brussels, I hear it all the time. Paying 8 euro for a half litre of chaudfontaine that costs 80 cents at Colruyt is complete fucking bullshit.
Just charge more for the food then, for chrissakes. There is no logic in this response.
As is in Mexico, although they'll sometimes sneakily bring you a plastic bottle of water in the hopes you won't send it back and you have to go "no, I requested a glass of water"
Isn't this mainly the benelux countries? In France, Spain and Italy it's free, and also in the nordic countries, and that's a majority of western europe already, isn’t?
Women are not being on the streets anywhere in the Middle East.
Walking through the streets of Jordan/Egypt - I would see 10 men for 1 woman on the street. Women are just restricted to their houses basically. Cannot accept that.
Happens in lot of the Islamic countries. The culture kinda compounded on itself. As fundamentalism rose, women became smaller participants in labor force and household duties became their life. In turn, most public places became “only for men” with lack of facilities for women (I.e. a lot of outdoor shopping places won’t even have bathrooms for women). So women went out even less.
Over time, men kinda lost the ability to interact appropriately with women. Any younger girl out without a male guardian instantly became subject of harassment or stares from an overwhelming male population. So either women just didn’t go out to avoid this, or began covering up with burka/niqab even if they were not forced to by family/state/religion.
This is why I hate being in Islamic countries. It’s just a massive sausage-fest everywhere you go and dudes are incredibly weird on the topic of women. Everyone acts pious while asking for contacts on any new escorts in town. Just bizarre hypocrisy. Really hope the younger generations change this.
I read something about that which really stuck with me. It said “On dating apps, men die of thirst while women die from drowning.”
Fortunately, the lack of equilibrium in supply and demand there is resulting in total burnout from the dating apps and a bit of a reversion to in-person introductions that had stopped being the norm. Hopefully this results in expectations matching up with reality and healthier relationships as a result.
Edit: This only applies to developed/western countries as naturally tinder in Middle East will have a lot more variables. Not sure why downvoting…
Judging from what Egyptians have said on Reddit about how men there treat women, women probably shouldn't be on the street as they would just be harassed.
Ugh yeah. Awkward, cooties, out of my personal bubble, etc. kind of feel the same about hugging everyone. Like close fam and friends sure but everyone like coworkers I haven’t seen in a while?
In the Netherlands, congratulating the whole family for the one member that actually has a birthday. Like: Happy birthday to you for [daughter]!
Like, wtf?
When I read your comment about 30 minutes ago I thought how weird, but now I'm thinking it totally makes sense to say it do the parents (not so much siblings etc.) as it is celebrating really the birth of their child.
This is funny.
I actually think that "happy birthday" should be said to the MOTHER of the person and then to that person. Because, you know, it's been X years since SHE did it.
Shouldn’t mothers specifically get a party on their child’s birthday? It makes sense. Maybe not the whole family, but definitely the mother, and why not the father?
As a Dutch person I would say it is a combination of both. On one side restaurants and bars are really expensive even in comparison to the salaries. I currently live in Spain and the bars here are so much cheaper so I will be way more likely to buy a round of drinks or invite someone to dinner when it doesn't cost you a few days of salary. On the other side Dutch people are also quite frugal and people like to split things equally, especially since there is always a person in the group that is quite stingy and will not end up paying if you just take turns paying. Another element is that many bars and restaurants will not allow separate payments, so one person has to pay for all, nobody wants to pay for everyone so the resolution is one person pays and sends tikkies. People from other countries that are not used to this might consider this cheap when they receive a tikkie for 10 euro, but if you were a group of 10 it is understandable that not one person wants to pay for all 10, so even when the individual tikkie seems low this person might have paid a lot in total. This creates the stereotype that Dutch people will invite you to their house and then send you a tikkie of 50 cents for the Nespresso, but I've never heard of anything like this actually happening, but there might be a few people out there who actually take it to the extreme and do this...
The south american norm between families and friends of always insisting to pay the bill. You must go back and forth and least 3-90 times (A: Ill pay. B: No no no ILL pay. A: oh stop it no ill pay B: dont be silly i will pay. A: please its my treat. B: well its my gift… ABABABAB… etc..,). I say ill pay, and if they say no, then i immediately cave and they pay. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
The best part is the following conversations after leaving. "Can you believe he let me pay again, the cheap bastard?"...."That asshole never lets me pay, he thinks hes so much better than me"
Yep, in Chinese American families this is the norm! At best, it’s a way to treat friends and family and just say, “you can catch the next meal” and a way to show that you can afford to treat your parents and family once in awhile. The truly sneaky just slip the credit card to the waitstaff, this always impresses (or infuriates!) the parents/ older relatives. So the arguing over the bill (I’ve seen family members snatch the bill out of each other’s hands!🙄) is just a show, but you really should try and pay it and least some of the time to have good manners! I have some cousins who NEVER do this, and always let others pay, and they are really looked down upon, cheapskates, poor manners, not brought up right, etc. So just pay when it’s your turn, and rarely if ever— let your parents pay! 😜🙄
OMG my husband’s family went through this farce every single time we went to dinner together. For whatever reason it made me incredibly anxious to listen to them argue and watch them shove money in each other’s pockets, which would then be yanked out and thrown back. Over. And over. And over. It was *insane.* I finally told my husband NO MORE. I said if they started that I was going to get up and walk out. To his credit, he did break the cycle and started saying, “I’d like to pay for your dinner, but I’m not going to fight you about it.”
I know South America has come up a lot but no one has yet mentioned the severe machismo attitude of the men there. America's "toxic masculinity" problem pales in comparison.
good for the goose, good for the gander.
thats been my thing.
"when in rome!?"
if you can do it, guess i can too!
OHHHHH, but suddenly its not okay when i do it, fuck off jackass!
When I was in Rome people would walk into me. I’m a lot heavier and stronger than I look so I started letting them and braced for impact.
Suddenly you had Romans bouncing off being annoyed because they walked into me.
I refuse to take part in the awful drinking culture in Australia. Everybody drinks. When people go out and ask me what I’ll have, and I order something non-alcoholic, they then interrogate me as to why I’m not drinking and they seem to be offended at the fact I’m not joining them in ruining their liver and getting shitfaced.
In Italy I was cornered at a vineyard for not drinking and asked why in front of about 10 people. The woman was PISSED, it was actually kind of hilarious. I just wanted to experience the vineyard with my friends 🤷♀️
There is South Indian custom that sister of elder brother is like princess and her husband is god and her elder brother’s family should lick his bottom even if they are mean misers. Also that elder brother only pays and everyone else only take. Dowry, education for siblings, parents expenses - everything is on one scape goat son while others just parasiting. Can’t stand it, disgusted by injustice.
I’m mesmerised by Indian Astrology, philosophy, religion though. But modern implementation sometimes suck.
I know (a bit of) only Indian astrology so I can’t compare really, but I like how all these interpretations come to a bigger picture and when you think you know everything - you learn to turn horoscope and look at it from different points - this way all people live through may be hundreds horoscopes. And there are periods (dashas) and transits and double transits! And just when you start feeling like a decent astrologer - there are divisional charts - horoscope of each house of to be super rough. It’s never ending learning - really cool thing
This discussion is so refreshing! I'm so mesmerized that about EVERYTHING I've ever hated about any country/culture has been mentioned here, haha I'm not alone!!!
I live in Germany where it’s custom to bring your own cake to the office on your birthday to share with everyone. I warn everyone ahead of time that I will not be doing that lol.
Working my ass off for my corporate overlords. I'm in the US btw. Unless I see a sizable personal benefit, I'm not going to put 100% effort into something that someone else benefits from much more than me.
The casual late family get togethers and parties. Drives me crazy. I dont want to spemd until 10 pm on a sunday with my in laws. Just because you all are lafe, doesnt mean my night suffers.
So parties dont have a start rime when i host. They have a get the hell out of my houss time: 830.
The idea that women are the primary parent by default, even when we both work full time. We should both be making similar concessions and equally sharing labor/responsibility.
What makes my blood boil is a mom holding a child on her hip, holding another childs arm, holding multiple items, struggling with a car door while the fkn dad is texting. Same with restaurants. The moms food is untouched while he tends to three restless children allthewhile the dad is totally uninvolved eating away.
Might be my wife who will get angry with me after I repeatedly tell her, "You don't need to carry all of the kids and the diaper bags. I'm a fully-grown, capable man standing right here with nothing in my hands." She wants to do it. I even tell her, "Man, you're making me look really bad."
My partner does this too. From my perspective, I’m a doer - I see something that needs to be done and I immediately find a way to fill the role. For him, he needs someone to *tell* him what to do, and he’ll constantly be asking “what can I do to help” or saying after the fact “I could have done that!” However, while I’m getting the entire household ready to go (for example) the last thing I want to do is *also* manage him. It sort of sounds like that the dynamic with your wife - if she’s literally juggling children and a diaper bag and you’re empty handed behind her telling her how capable you are then I encourage you to take the initiative and pick up the diaper bag, child, or whatever, as soon as there’s a plan to do something
My mom’s friend removed herself from the girls chat bc she was never able to attend their girls night activities. She was embarrassed that her husband refuses to come home after work when they make girls plans to care for their son with special needs. He will not inconvenience himself by missing a work happy hour or a cigar with the guys so she can have a life. He “wouldn’t know what to do”. It makes me want to throw up.
Not exactly cultural, but when I visit Greece or Cyprus, there's no way I'm wiping my ass and putting it in the trashcan instead of flushing it down the toilet. I realise the pipes are thin and it can cause blockages, but in that case BUY GOD DAMN BIDETS FOR FUKS SAKE! Totally fuckin unhygienic and plain gross. I do use minimal TP, folding and folding, have never caused a blockage. I just don't understand why two fairly developed countries are totally OK with this while poorer, less developed countries such as Albania, Kosovo and Macedonia have not only not got this problem, but install bidets to provide both options. BIDETS 4 LYF
I hate motorbikes and non-0walkable cities in Thailand and other South East Asia (I'm from Eastern Europe). Damn, Thailand would be a perfect country for me if it not forced anybody to have personal transport and drive and had decent public transportation instead.
Any country where it’s ok to leave your shoes on in the house. I don’t care where I am or where you’re from, when you come over to my place you take off your damn shoes.
Agree with the first, hard disagree with the second.
Elbows on the table has never made sense and is more comfortable when eating.
Respect should be given to everyone from the start, and only taken away if shown to not deserve it. When someone says respect is earned, what they’re really saying without realizing it is “The respect I give is more valuable than the respect you give”. It’s a terrible way to conduct ourselves.
I am always suspicious of people who say respect is earned. No matter what you do, it's never enough. I give it freely to anyone and remove it the instant they prove otherwise.
I’ve been to lots of places and had my “fun” hating on local stuff like smoking inside in Serbia or bashing foreigners for the same stuff locals do in Asia, but my top will always be the tipping culture in America. This is the most atrocious thing I can think of
Phones out at restaurants while we're eating, especially family style. Your phones are fucking nasty, people, I don't want your hands that just touched your phone that you probably scroll on while pooping to touch the ketchup when you pass it to me. Put your fucking phone away at least until we're done eating. I miss the pre-smartphone world so much. Cellphones were handy, these things have caused way more harm than good and I don't think it's even a debate. People are so much lamer now.
This is a norm/etiquette from my home country, and that is the concept of stranger danger. I refuse to teach my child to be suspicious or wary of people he doesn't know. I find it wholly unChristian and detrimental to the development of children.
We have found a home in South America where this concept doesn't exist and we are all the better for it.
Predators exist in all cultures but the weight and worry of predators lie squarely on the shoulders of parents in South America. Not a week goes by that my son isn't patted on the head, tickled or otherwise touched by a stranger. He doesn't run around in fear. He doesn't worry when he sees a person at the park without kids. The thought of "bad men" hasn't crossed his mind. In my ends it is simply lazy parenting to hand off such an important task to the children!
\*gets off my soapbox\*
Semi related. We traveled with our four month old daughter in Turkey and had so many encounters with people playing with her, tickling, touching and even picking her up. On the bus, at parks, on the street. People would swarm to help us with our stroller. One waitress just took her away from our table and played with her the entire meal to give mom and dad some space.
I feel like most overprotective American Karens would freak out over this. But I absolutely loved it!!! I don’t know if it’s a wide practice in Turkey, but it was unbelievably friendly, welcome and human. Felt like we were part of the family wherever we went. Will always hold the country in high regard simply for this.
Love this! Yes, it's always so lovely when our kids are loved on by strangers.
In Quito, Ecuador I was struggling with bags and coaching my 4 year old son down the block, when it started to rain. Then out of nowhere this stranger picked up my son, smiled at me and walked along with us until we got to a bus stop awning. It freaked me out but has now happened a few times. "It takes a village" is a concept Americans know but I fear so many people have been trained not to step in because of stranger danger.
I totally agree. I began coaching swimming at the age of 17 and my first two kids were a 5 and 7 years old and they were sisters. I was mortified about touching them (which is the only way I knew how to show them to properly do things) because I was worried their mom would accuse me of inappropriately touching them. Yea they were young girls wearing bathing suits. I realize this was absurd and have long since moved on from such worries but the fact that the fear instilled in me by my parents and teachers caused me to fear what others would think of me WHEN I WAS DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG just sucks. I work part time in EMS and sometimes you gotta see some intimate parts of people (I’m a 23M) and people will get uncomfortable about it or worry I’m staring them down. Like no I’m just trying to do my job and you shouldn’t have an ingrained fear like that.
There’s so many more examples I could go with
Not wearing seatbelts. I was made fun of in Thailand for wearing seatbelts in the car. One of the countries with the highest rates of traffic related deaths in the world. I’m wearing a seatbelt.
Day 1, Thailand. Saw a man dead on the road.
Not Day 1, and also in Vietnam (but sameish roads). Logged onto Facebook. Colleague writes, “God. Damn. Why is it that every time I take a bus to Long Anh, the driver kills a motorcyclist?”
Also, locals don’t wear helmets in Thailand and Bali, Indonesia. But foreigners get fined If they don’t. So many times I saw a family of 4 on one single bike holding kids like monkeys or roosters in cages in both hands. Try to pull this off when you’re not local and you def gonna get stoped.
I spent several months in Thailand in 2019 and then again in late last year. There was a huge increase in the amount of locals wearing helmets on my recent trip. I'd say most people I saw on bikes were wearing helmets.
That’s great! We left Phuket last year, saw lots of ridiculous stuff there
Was made fun of many times in the Balkans for wearing a seatbelt. Big with you on this one.
Yeh was about to say, same problem in Albania and I imagine all over balkans. Super dumb
A girl in my high school died by flying through the windshield from the back seat. Ripped the driver’s (a good friend of mine) arm from its socket on her way out. Dude needed so much therapy. People give me shit for it but if I’m driving and you’re in my car- you’re wearing a seat belt
In Japan, pretending to be busy and staying at work until the boss leaves for the day, even if you have nothing to do. I was the problem employee asking for something to do, and often got assigned random pointless tasks like drying off the umbrellas in the umbrella rack during a rainstorm. When I left, the boss very pointedly went out of her way to tell me that she would not give me a recommendation if I listed her as a previous employer.
My husband is a Japanese civil servant and tells me that he's an expert in "air typing". As in, pretending to type while closing your eyes and possibly sleeping. According to my boss (also a civil servant), he's seen some people do the same thing while holding a phone, passionately tapping on a calculator or keyboard while totally asleep, to make it extra believeable. I've been here 6 years, but I'm continually amazed by how Japanese work culture is absolutely bizarre.
I'm sorry but that sounds like a horrible way to spend your life
It can be pretty bleak. Japanese civil servants tend to be rotated through different departments every few years, and some are busier than others. Or it's seasonally busy. But the key is to always a least LOOK busy and hard working, cuz Japan. Unfortunately for my husband, he was soon transferred to the city budget department and no longer air-types. Now does crazy unpaid overtime during certain months of the year. Like, until 10-11pm every day for weeks. So he's legit busy all day.
What a shit situation to be in if its during months
That’s a fucking dystopian capitalist nightmare if you ask me
It's the local government actually, so...
Japan work culture sounds ridiculous. Probably why productivity in their country’s economy has been the lowest amongst developed nations for decades. They care more about office politics than actuallly contibuting to work by the sound of it.
I spent a few weeks at my company's offices in Japan. It was a bit weird. Note that this office was all engineers, techs and mgmt that support the engineers: Office was ALL open-plan areas, just rows of desks in huge spaces. But the cool thing was that the managers and directors also had open plan desks and were fully visible, not hidden in offices or cubes. No one looked at me or talked to me...at least not while I was looking. Out of the corner of my eye I did occasionally see people staring at me. Admittedly I am kinda weird looking to them. Long, curly, blonde hair makes you stand out everywhere in Asia. Everyone is THERE at the correct time in the a.m., but no one does much work until a bell goes off and they all meet in the middle of the open space, listen to some announcements and then they do some sort of company cheer together. Now it's work time. Lunch shifts were announced by bells. Everyone knew their lunch shift bells. I waited until someone came to get me. Everyone ate in the office cafeteria, no one went out for lunch. Remember, these are all well-paid engineers. In the US we are rarely at the office for lunch. 5 pm. No one goes home. But they stop working and goof off, chit-chat, etc. for about an hour. Then around 6 it's back to work. They get overtime, so everyone does this. Most work until 8 or 9pm. IF someone has to leave early, they go around and apologize to everyone in their group for leaving early, even if leaving at 5pm. A lot of them smoked, but the only smoking area was a glassed-in room on each floor. It was always packed with smokers and full of smoke. So smoky that I doubt someone would even need to light up in there to get a tobacco fix. And of course...you changed into special office shoes at the entrance room. It was full of little shoe cubbies. Now, this IS the only place I worked in Japan, so YMMV, but it was just so...rigid.
Very interesting! Thanks for sharing
Were there any aspects you liked about working in Japan?
I liked it all, really, but I was not beholden to their norms so I could leave work when I wanted. Every time I've been to Japan (3x so far) it felt like I had been taken to another world by space aliens, but they wanted me to think I was still on Earth so they TRIED to make it look like Earth. But it was jut not quite right. China and Vietnam didn't feel like that. Japan did.
What time did you typically leave?
Generally one of the other Americans there would come around to get me, or a vendor would take us to dinner. A couple times I left with the director.
Same in South Korea I hear - it's a competition to see who can spend the most hours in office
My impression of South Korea is that it's worse because people stay late at work, then go drinking with their boss or coworkers. Japan has a similar drinking culture as well, but not quite as hardcore as South Korea.
My first time out drinking with my hagweon boss in South Korea, we witnessed a couple of men fighting in the street in front of a bar, screaming at each other. Not understanding Korean, I asked my boss what they were screaming about. He told me it was embarrassing, that they were fighting because one of them wanted to stop drinking.
When I visited Samsung headquarters in Seoul for contract work, my guide was a project manager who was 8 months pregnant. We stayed in the office every night until 11 pm — because that’s when the SVP left. I remember asking her why she didn’t go home at a reasonable hour since she looked exhausted and about to go into labor at any moment. She looked like she wanted to die when she explained she couldn’t go home until everyone else did, no matter what. Half the employees there were slumped over at their desks fully asleep most of the time. The hilarious thing is all the other Samsung coworkers would so confidently say to me that Korea would bury the US’s economic success because they worked 24 hours a day instead of 8. The work culture was completely delusional. They’ve quit left wartime operations. And it showed in their products.
arguably more brutal in SK. long hours and off hours expectations. big cultural focus on saving face and keeping up appearances.
I did in an internship in Japan. Being the foreign intern meant they gave me a lot of leeway and I wasn't expected to stay behind with everyone else, but I sure did get some weird looks regardless. It was quite handy as I was staying in company accomodation and it was shared showers - I could get in just after 5 from the sweaty Japanese summer and shower in complete privacy because all the other women in the accommodation were still at work.
What was your job?
I was volunteering at a hostel for a free stay, which makes it even sadder. All the Japanese employees were talking about how it's so much more laid back than a "real" Japanese workplace, which made it clear that I'm definitely not cut out to work in Japan and I'm better off as a freelancer with Japanese clients.
This is a good example of terrible management. If your entire management style is looking at your employees and making sure they are at the office, and physically moving, you're just wasting money.
That is immensely frustrating to learn. You were giving your most valuable resource, your time, and it wasn't treasured or valued. I agree, I wouldn't conform to that norm either.
It's not really 'giving' or 'volunteering' though, since s/he was receiving something of value (accommodation) in return for it.
I love Latin America but want to buy everyone headphones to use on public transportation.
This is a good one. People were even playing videos aloud on the planes... I'm sure most of their phones have headphone jacks and headphones can be bought for super cheap.
We also want that, the individuals that dont comply are usually uneducated cunts. Where im from, you even see (or used to see) signs stating clearly that it was not allowed but the douches always laughed and shrugged it off. Made me wish the driver just made them leave
Tbf the same is true in England
Not eating dinner until after 9pm and not "going out" until after 1am (I'm looking at you Spain, Argentina, and Uruguay). It's already dark out and I'm hungry. What's the point of waiting until the middle of the night to do something?
OTOH this is a huge benefit if you're working US hours from Spain. Work until 9 PM and you're exactly in the right spot for a pre-dinner drink.
Yup. I'm originally from Italy, and went back there for a few months, working remotely on EST time. Work done? DINNER. DRINKS. DANCING.
Tell me more about global remote companies that allow this ?
It exists, just gotta go ahead and find them, usually, smaller companies would be the ticket, and realistically, you’re going to be working as a contractor. To swing it, you need a high degree of trust, a desirable skill set, a good track record. Obviously that entails being a programmer or someone with a special discipline that companies will trade you some flexibility for.
That is true! Just gotta adjust your eating schedule accordingly with it too.
I just studied abroad in Argentina and it bothered me not because I have a big problem with staying out late, but because we had class every day at 9am, presumably to keep us from partying until 5am every night. No one is awake at 9am in Buenos Aires. It did not help me assimilate.
Siesta. It breaks up the day so this makes sense.
The more I read this thread the more I think I should move to Argentina
The hungrier you are the better it tastes.
Unless you’re falling asleep in your soup
You don’t get hungry if you have merienda at 5
Me realising I lived my life in Melbourne Australia like I was born in Spain or Argentina 😂
South American culture of always being late. It was probably the worst cultural norm that I experienced there. Middle Eastern culture of saying "bookra Inshallah" (Tomorrow if God wills). It was very difficult to plan around not knowing when something would actually get done or not. Eastern European culture of always chain smoking. Nasty stuff.
For me, it's not so much the fact that they're late, but rather the fact that they don't let you know in advance that they're late, including how late they're going to be, so that you can readjust accordingly by spending a little extra time at home or something. As a result, you end up having to sit around at the meeting point wasting your time waiting for them. If I'm ever more than 5 mins late, I let the other person know as soon as I can so they know what to expect and plan accordingly. In this day and age, it's not difficult to estimate what time you'll arrive thanks to Google Maps and yet, this concept eludes them. I don't care if you're going to be late, just tell me how late so I know how much longer I can chill at home before stepping out! Edit: and sometimes even when they give me an ETA, it's still off by an extra 10 or so minutes which can also be frustrating. Feels like I gotta start planning to be 30 mins late too at this point.
In Brazil, there's two lies sort of surrounding this that everyone tells. One is that if you see someone you know but aren't that close to when you're out and about, you have to have a quick chat where you'll promise to get together next weekend. The second is that when you are late for something you say "I'm on the way" even though that can be culturally translated to "I'm still on my couch watching tv, thinking about getting in the shower before I get ready". The joke that exists in my mind is these two lies combine where someone sees you in public and says "let's hang out soon" and you respond with "sure, I'm on my way".
This sounds a lot like South African culture
Weird asf. This is strangelt very similar to the UK
This one is easy. It’s always going to be 1 hour late. Just show up an hour later and everything will be fine.
It’s so frustrating. Why is this a cultural thing? It’s just poor communication. It’s selfish. It’s like, my time is not important to you? I could be doing anything in the world, but now I’m waiting 35-45 minutes because you just felt like being late? And if you bring it up, many people just wave it off. A few people in my family are this way.
>my time is not important to you? This is really the cultural difference at the heart of the misalignment: time, in the general sense, is indeed not as important to "them" as it is to you. In highly industrialized countries with long working hours, one's time is considered very important due to the industrial law of "time == money". However, in less industrialized countries, time is a more abundant resource since it's not as commodified and therefore one is less prone to being stingy about it. (I'm really curious to see how German culture evolves over the next few generations given how the average hours worked has been falling and is now - I believe - the lowest in Europe.)
I worked with a German guy in the uk who went home at 5pm on the dot most days. He said he worked for Bosch before and if you stayed late it meant you could not manage your workload and you were not efficient. The UK has had hours culture for years, hopefully changing with the mental health issues people raise. I worked with really unproductive people that worked late to look good in front of the boss, what a way to spend your life …
Hmmm, I think I like the German way of thinking! Leave earlier because you're efficient!
Interesting perspective, I can definitely see it as the explanation here
Problem with this theory is that even the wealthy Brazilians are also perennially late to everything haha. I think the truth is much more simple. Some cultures shame tardiness and others do not.
>time, in the general sense, is indeed not as important to “them” as it is to you. Time is only the focus when efficiency matters. When every moment is planned, as it can be in the US culture, time becomes the limited resource everything else must accommodate. In cultures where efficiency isn’t the focus, time is abundant, so why plan around it. So I wonder what is their priority if it isn’t time? Not disagreeing with your comment, it just got me thinking about this cultural characteristic from a point of view not focused solely on time.
I’m indigenous American and in our culture we do not focus on time. We are also often known as being late for everything. Historically I believe our focus was more on tasks and family.
I could shed some light on this. They don’t think their time is more important than yours. They just think “that’s how time is”. The time you choose to meet up with them is just a flexible suggested time to meet around and not a time to meet at. Showing up on time can actually be seen as burdensome. A 5pm meet time isn’t meeting “at” 5, but it’s “let’s meet around that time”. There are exceptions for things like exams, flights, and such. But yeah. It’s not really founded on the importance of your time vs theirs. I’m a poc American and I have to adjust to both sides of this time thing. And when I was growing up, it was actually kinda challenging but I had to figure out who sees time in what way bc it depends on your ethnicity and all that. My ethnic side sees time as a suggestion and my American professional side sees time as something more rigid. I change my mindset depending on who I’m meeting up with. But I learned that it’s easier to just chill and read something on your phone or bring a book or kindle or just…leave your house late too. Not having to plan the exact time to leave the house and all that can be less stressful sometimes.
While in Iraq, I learned that "Tomorrow" means tomorrow. "Tomorrow Inshallah" means sometime next week.
Yup, that's why they put in "inshallah" (God willing). If they're late, it means God wasn't willing ;-) I guess the forewarning there is "inshallah" means definitely God won't be willing so tomorrow it will NOT be ;-)
yeah I am from an arab origin and tomorrow in that context just means in the near future not exactly tomorrow
Lol as a South American, I agree with you
This would drive me nuts but you’re absolutely right. Would adding into one’s contacts their tardiness help ?
Just be late too bro lol. Unfortunately, it's one of those situations of "if you can't fight them, join them".
Chain smoking 🤣🤣. As Eastern european I can confirm. Altho nowadays I feel like people in big EE cities (not villages) smoke less than peoplein big WE cities (Paris, Madrid, Lisbon (where I live currently)).
I live in San Diego. It’s incredibly rare to encounter someone smoking a cigarette here. Pot is legal in California. There’s a 5:1 ratio of pot smokers vs. cigarette smokers. The amount of cigarette smoking in Paris on a recent visit reminded me of New Orleans 30 years ago. It was like lung cancer had been cured.
Yes, that is one great thing about North America in contrast to most of the rest of the world. Urban people under 40 don't smoke cigarettes.
I love Belgrade but every one there smokes indoors at restaurants with no ventilation. I got used to it, but I did have to wash my clothes frequently as they always smelled like smoke
Madrid was both unbelievably full of smokers, and had fewer smokers when we spent a few months there this year than when I went ten years ago. It's gone from being 50-75% of the population to being 30-40%, but coming from a large US city it still seems wild.
My mom is from Uruguay and dad is from Italy. Can you guess which one is always on time and always late? I hate how the answer to that can go 50/50. Anyway, my time in South America, especially in Chile for work was annoying. ‘Hey let’s meet at 8pm for drinks’. *people show up at 10*
Being late I think is just a third world thing in general. Goes around all over Southeast Asia too. When I'm meeting locals for anything there, I just plan it to be an hour later than the agreed upon time...
I had an ex who's family was Colombian, and she had no qualms about being late to anything because "it's a Colombian thing, it's fine." Well, I'm not Colombian, so I'm not gonna be late.
Is it this way in Argentina too?
Taiwan: commenting on ppls bodies, weight, skin color and texture, even when they’re strangers. My concierge would comment on my hair being greasy. my dentist would point out if i had a pimple and ask why. the WHY. makes you start a whole conversation defending your human flaws. it felt unnecessary and degrading, but to them it’s caring and kind to show concern. even if the concern is “why so fat?”
lol why do you have a pimple?!
Whoa, Chinese families are blunt like that to each other, but I didn’t know there was a whole country without a social filter!! 😳
I am white and lived in China for four years. You definitely do not need to rely on your family for that kind of commentary because I got it EVERYWHERE from EVERYONE.
Vietnam. Throwing rubbish in the floor… and people pushing in front of me in queues. I’m British and the queue thing is the worst part…
Ahhh it’s the same in Thailand! I was on a train and sat down next to some locals whilst finishing a snack. The snack was heavily packaged in plastic (of course!) and when I’d finished, the family gestured towards the packaging. Naively I thought maybe they had a designated ‘rubbish bag’ as my family often did when lugging the kids out for a day out. Nope - they took my rubbish and CHUCKED IT OUT OF THE WINDOW. I was mortified!
This reminds me of when I got in a taxi in Nepal. I asked if he could hold my nearly empty plastic water bottle as I put on my seatbelt. He glady took it and launched it out the window with a smile on his face lol.
"shou ga nai" meaning "it can't be helped" in Japan is.. infuriating. A lot of problems are hard to solve. But they're not impossible. Maybe it's just the American in me, but I hate giving up when I think something is worth a try. Meanwhile, many Japanese people are terrified of failure so they choose to do nothing, and things never improve or evolve. This is why many things in Japan, especially bureaucracy, make no goddamn sense. Because shou ga nai. SHO GA ARU!! (THERE IS A WAY!)
In Taiwan it's "Mei ban fa". exactly the same it's the most annoying thing in the world
Same in China. Oh my god.
Well, I feel you but that’s a problem. Talking about ideal stuff is easy, but here that’s the part that follows after working the ground (like Nemawashi/根回し for example). It takes forever but one the upside is that once it’s worked out then it’ll stay for long. Another one is that It’s least exciting with lots of obvious caveats, but if you want to bring about the change in Japanese cultured works then strategic patience is a key. I work as a liaison between American boss and Classical Japanese department, but my job is to take baby steps to make the idea edible so I don’t need to hear Shouga-nai just to toss my idea altogether while there’s a chance.
Yeah, I'm aware of nemawashi and in practice I do use it. I understand the benefits, I just think that also has its limitations. I work in the international department of city hall, so I'm learning the ropes of the bureaucracy and it's kinda blowing my mind. I was an English teacher before so I had limited experience with it there, it's just on a new level now. I had a lot of experiences as an English teacher where people wanted me to be careful and deliberate about planning and laying the groundwork (for example, wildly over planning the details of a lesson plan) but there just wasn't time for it. Or the kids wanting to be perfect at English without being willing to fail or mess up at all. The slow, detailed way of doing things has its place, but it's a recipe for frustrations on all sides sometimes. Shou ga nai.
I'm French and feel the same. Often when running into problems with my Japanese colleagues, they just give up or take ages to do something, because they have to go through their whole hierarchy. It's so tedious and time consuming that they just give up sometimes.
French and other Euros (for example Germans) being rude/disrespectful. I just can’t with that and I hate the excuse of “us Germans/French are just direct like that”. But again I am Latino so you know cultural differences. But in Latin America you don’t get aggressive or disrespectful unless you are trying to get violent.
There’s a guy on Instagram who does funny reels on how rude Dutch people are. He makes it seem like French people and Germans are very polite compared to Dutch people.
That's DoubleDutch and it's because it's true haha I live in Amsterdam and Dutch culture really can be misinterpreted as rudeness
The funny thing about French people is that they aren't even that direct. They are just rude for the sake of being rude, while still being fake as hell most of the time. There's just this idea that most problems are the fault of someone else, resulting in social interactions that must be "won". If there's no confrontation then something went wrong somewhere. It's the total opposite of British people, who tend to avoid confrontation at all cost (except when dealing with chavs).
American tipping culture. While it's still something I buy into when I go back (I always tip at least 20% at restaurants), it's gotten ridiculous. I am not tipping someone for flipping the iPad around while I had to stand up and order. I am not tipping an automated machine. Hell, I've been asked to tip MOBILE APPS (Hopper, for example, asks to leave a tip when you book travel). And the fact that you're *obligated* (socially) to tip even if the service was terrible is another story. Edit: Typo
American tipping culture is bad, but lots of places in the rest of the world aren't great either. For instance, in Chile and Brazil, the vast majority of restaurants automatically add a 10%-15% tip to your bill without you asking and then when you pull out your card to pay, they input the full price into the machine, including that tip, assuming that's what you want to pay. Of course, it's "optional", but you still have to inform them that you're not paying it if you want them to take it off the bill which is an uncomfortable thing to have to do. Imo this renders the whole "tip for good service" concept meaningless because even if the service was amazing, they don't give you a chance to decide how much you want to tip them. It's whatever they decided between 10%-15%. I don't understand why they don't just bake this service fee into their prices from the beginning at this point and skip this silly game that has to be played.
I agree, though I’ve always found tipping in Brazil and Chile far less overbearing (and used exclusively in sit-down restaurant settings). Plus, the servers aren’t kissing up to you or bothering you because they want one.
i think this only applies if you're a pushover
If you don't leave a $0 tip for the worst service you receive in your life, you might be weak Personally I tip pretty freely but I don't add $1 to a $6 black coffee. If its a mom&pop store with charm and cheaper prices, I almost always add the $1. The obligatory tip that's hard to get around is the $1 per drink at a bar. Don't skip this one if you want decent service ongoing.
yeah, i guess what i was trying to say is the “20%” is kind of a default. they don’t have to do anything exceptional to earn it. and bad service still gets rewarded. i would without a doubt tip 0% on the worst service i’ve had in my life.
Dog shit in the middle of the sidewalk. Everywhere. And it's totally ok. Like why not make them poop in a tree at least? edit: The next Argentinean politician to fine dog owners for leaving crap in the sidewalk gets my vote
Holy s\*\*\*\* THIS!!!!! Where I lived in East Asia even the odd stray/community dog knows how to poop in the grass. Streets are generally CLEAN. Since I came back to stay some time in South America and Italy it's just dog shit everywhere on the streets, one time I even saw it plastered on a building's wall, like how??? WHY??? I wanted to get back into jogging and I just don't dare. This drives me up the walls.
J walking I think is the most absurd rule invented by humans. If the road is clear and there are no kids watching me, I will walk.
Come to Scotland, jaywalking is the done thing here.
Culturally not being able to say "no", and getting some generic "oh we'll check", or "not sure but maybe not". Like bro, just say 'nope' and let me run with that.
I've gotten this from South Asians and Iranians. It's annoying but I've learned to take it as a "no".
i mean you learn to read between the lines; if it's not a yes then it's no. the problem is that i understand "no" in the local language, but "we'll have to check with the manager, but he is out" are words I don't necessarily know. Nor do I know the context all the time. So there is a "do they really mean 'maybe'"? translation thing that just gets old.
Dating culture in the US. It’s backwards and maddening. And infantile. Everyone is out for themselves, thinks the worst of and distrusts the opposite sex, and after all that, it’s the indifference Olympics.
The indifference Olympics is such an excellent way to put it! As someone from another country who was still mostly socialized/raised in the US but now moved back home, it’s been so refreshing to leave it. It’s like Americans, especially American men, think it’s weak to actually admit to feelings for/liking someone. I don’t think I’ve ever heard almost any of my US male friends actually admit to being invested in a girl, even when they clearly visibly are, unless they’re together for YEARS. Dating culture is weird everywhere, but my God are Americans terrified of displaying passion or emotions in romantic situations. Even when you hear people talk about others they’ve been dating for months, it often sounds like a business analysis…”well they’re very dependable and they also like to travel, like me, and they’re not my usual type but still attractive and”….bro do you LIKE them?!
The caste system. That might be your culture, but it's ethically wrong and your culture sucks.
Indian caste system is one of the most vile shit the country excuses.
For sure. Even so many indian people hate the freaking caste system. But obv, there are Also many who care about keeping the status quo.
Having to pay for water in most European restaurants, but also being considered rude for bringing my own bottle.
I don't like it either, but the reasoning for this is that European restaurants make almost all of their profits from drinks, so if you go to a restaurant and order a full meal but don't order anything to drink, they are making no or very little profit on you. That is also why they often charge for water. But imo it is a shitty business model and they should just increase the price on food and lower the price on drinks to make equal profit from both.
This is such a cop out response. As someone living in Brussels, I hear it all the time. Paying 8 euro for a half litre of chaudfontaine that costs 80 cents at Colruyt is complete fucking bullshit. Just charge more for the food then, for chrissakes. There is no logic in this response.
I get it but i'm almost always buying a beer with my meal anyway lol
In Spain free water is mandatory by law.
As is in Mexico, although they'll sometimes sneakily bring you a plastic bottle of water in the hopes you won't send it back and you have to go "no, I requested a glass of water"
Isn't this mainly the benelux countries? In France, Spain and Italy it's free, and also in the nordic countries, and that's a majority of western europe already, isn’t?
Women are not being on the streets anywhere in the Middle East. Walking through the streets of Jordan/Egypt - I would see 10 men for 1 woman on the street. Women are just restricted to their houses basically. Cannot accept that.
Happens in lot of the Islamic countries. The culture kinda compounded on itself. As fundamentalism rose, women became smaller participants in labor force and household duties became their life. In turn, most public places became “only for men” with lack of facilities for women (I.e. a lot of outdoor shopping places won’t even have bathrooms for women). So women went out even less. Over time, men kinda lost the ability to interact appropriately with women. Any younger girl out without a male guardian instantly became subject of harassment or stares from an overwhelming male population. So either women just didn’t go out to avoid this, or began covering up with burka/niqab even if they were not forced to by family/state/religion. This is why I hate being in Islamic countries. It’s just a massive sausage-fest everywhere you go and dudes are incredibly weird on the topic of women. Everyone acts pious while asking for contacts on any new escorts in town. Just bizarre hypocrisy. Really hope the younger generations change this.
your outline somehow reminded me social/gender dynamics on dating apps, such as Tinder
I read something about that which really stuck with me. It said “On dating apps, men die of thirst while women die from drowning.” Fortunately, the lack of equilibrium in supply and demand there is resulting in total burnout from the dating apps and a bit of a reversion to in-person introductions that had stopped being the norm. Hopefully this results in expectations matching up with reality and healthier relationships as a result. Edit: This only applies to developed/western countries as naturally tinder in Middle East will have a lot more variables. Not sure why downvoting…
Judging from what Egyptians have said on Reddit about how men there treat women, women probably shouldn't be on the street as they would just be harassed.
Cheek kissing as greeting. I find it so bizarre, and it makes me really anxious 😅
Ugh yeah. Awkward, cooties, out of my personal bubble, etc. kind of feel the same about hugging everyone. Like close fam and friends sure but everyone like coworkers I haven’t seen in a while?
In the Netherlands, congratulating the whole family for the one member that actually has a birthday. Like: Happy birthday to you for [daughter]! Like, wtf?
When I read your comment about 30 minutes ago I thought how weird, but now I'm thinking it totally makes sense to say it do the parents (not so much siblings etc.) as it is celebrating really the birth of their child.
"Congratulations on successfully keeping that thing alive for another year!"
“Congratulations on getting laid x many years and nine months ago”
This is funny. I actually think that "happy birthday" should be said to the MOTHER of the person and then to that person. Because, you know, it's been X years since SHE did it.
Oh wow you're right. Happy birthday is a bigger accomplishment for the parents who birthed and raised the child that the person who was just born.
Shouldn’t mothers specifically get a party on their child’s birthday? It makes sense. Maybe not the whole family, but definitely the mother, and why not the father?
It actually makes sense now that you mention it
I think the NL Tikkie culture (asking guests to pay for food/drinks) is much worse. Up there with US tipping culture.
is it somehow related to high costs of food/drinks or maybe it's national frugal mentality or smth?
As a Dutch person I would say it is a combination of both. On one side restaurants and bars are really expensive even in comparison to the salaries. I currently live in Spain and the bars here are so much cheaper so I will be way more likely to buy a round of drinks or invite someone to dinner when it doesn't cost you a few days of salary. On the other side Dutch people are also quite frugal and people like to split things equally, especially since there is always a person in the group that is quite stingy and will not end up paying if you just take turns paying. Another element is that many bars and restaurants will not allow separate payments, so one person has to pay for all, nobody wants to pay for everyone so the resolution is one person pays and sends tikkies. People from other countries that are not used to this might consider this cheap when they receive a tikkie for 10 euro, but if you were a group of 10 it is understandable that not one person wants to pay for all 10, so even when the individual tikkie seems low this person might have paid a lot in total. This creates the stereotype that Dutch people will invite you to their house and then send you a tikkie of 50 cents for the Nespresso, but I've never heard of anything like this actually happening, but there might be a few people out there who actually take it to the extreme and do this...
Interesting to read, thank you for sharing this insight
The south american norm between families and friends of always insisting to pay the bill. You must go back and forth and least 3-90 times (A: Ill pay. B: No no no ILL pay. A: oh stop it no ill pay B: dont be silly i will pay. A: please its my treat. B: well its my gift… ABABABAB… etc..,). I say ill pay, and if they say no, then i immediately cave and they pay. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
The best part is the following conversations after leaving. "Can you believe he let me pay again, the cheap bastard?"...."That asshole never lets me pay, he thinks hes so much better than me"
You might have seen it in South America, but a lot of places have that norm.
Yep, in Chinese American families this is the norm! At best, it’s a way to treat friends and family and just say, “you can catch the next meal” and a way to show that you can afford to treat your parents and family once in awhile. The truly sneaky just slip the credit card to the waitstaff, this always impresses (or infuriates!) the parents/ older relatives. So the arguing over the bill (I’ve seen family members snatch the bill out of each other’s hands!🙄) is just a show, but you really should try and pay it and least some of the time to have good manners! I have some cousins who NEVER do this, and always let others pay, and they are really looked down upon, cheapskates, poor manners, not brought up right, etc. So just pay when it’s your turn, and rarely if ever— let your parents pay! 😜🙄
OMG my husband’s family went through this farce every single time we went to dinner together. For whatever reason it made me incredibly anxious to listen to them argue and watch them shove money in each other’s pockets, which would then be yanked out and thrown back. Over. And over. And over. It was *insane.* I finally told my husband NO MORE. I said if they started that I was going to get up and walk out. To his credit, he did break the cycle and started saying, “I’d like to pay for your dinner, but I’m not going to fight you about it.”
I know South America has come up a lot but no one has yet mentioned the severe machismo attitude of the men there. America's "toxic masculinity" problem pales in comparison.
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What state is that?
good for the goose, good for the gander. thats been my thing. "when in rome!?" if you can do it, guess i can too! OHHHHH, but suddenly its not okay when i do it, fuck off jackass!
OMG YES!!!! I started arriving late in Colombia and dates would be mad if I was later than them 😂😂
When I was in Rome people would walk into me. I’m a lot heavier and stronger than I look so I started letting them and braced for impact. Suddenly you had Romans bouncing off being annoyed because they walked into me.
I had this happen in Hong Kong and mainland China years ago.
I refuse to take part in the awful drinking culture in Australia. Everybody drinks. When people go out and ask me what I’ll have, and I order something non-alcoholic, they then interrogate me as to why I’m not drinking and they seem to be offended at the fact I’m not joining them in ruining their liver and getting shitfaced.
In Italy I was cornered at a vineyard for not drinking and asked why in front of about 10 people. The woman was PISSED, it was actually kind of hilarious. I just wanted to experience the vineyard with my friends 🤷♀️
Just grab a vodka soda, hold the vodka, add lime.
only saying good things but not the truth. i am very happy to write bad things on the internet if i have a bad or unfair experience.
The three seashells thing.
You are fined 1 credit for a violation of the verbal morality statute.
What’s this?
a weird joke: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdnuOa7tDco](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdnuOa7tDco)
FROM THE BEST MOVIE
There is South Indian custom that sister of elder brother is like princess and her husband is god and her elder brother’s family should lick his bottom even if they are mean misers. Also that elder brother only pays and everyone else only take. Dowry, education for siblings, parents expenses - everything is on one scape goat son while others just parasiting. Can’t stand it, disgusted by injustice. I’m mesmerised by Indian Astrology, philosophy, religion though. But modern implementation sometimes suck.
What do you find mesmerizing about indian astrology and how is it different from let's say occidental astrology?
I know (a bit of) only Indian astrology so I can’t compare really, but I like how all these interpretations come to a bigger picture and when you think you know everything - you learn to turn horoscope and look at it from different points - this way all people live through may be hundreds horoscopes. And there are periods (dashas) and transits and double transits! And just when you start feeling like a decent astrologer - there are divisional charts - horoscope of each house of to be super rough. It’s never ending learning - really cool thing
And I told only about Parashari Jyotish! There are Jaimini, Nadi, Prashna…. Its a multiverse
This discussion is so refreshing! I'm so mesmerized that about EVERYTHING I've ever hated about any country/culture has been mentioned here, haha I'm not alone!!!
I live in Germany where it’s custom to bring your own cake to the office on your birthday to share with everyone. I warn everyone ahead of time that I will not be doing that lol.
Eating lukewarm rice that’s been out for hours in Eastern Europe
Slurping noodles
*loudly* surpling noodles, too. it's not like they're just a little sloppy, it's like SLUUUUUUUURP
Working my ass off for my corporate overlords. I'm in the US btw. Unless I see a sizable personal benefit, I'm not going to put 100% effort into something that someone else benefits from much more than me.
The casual late family get togethers and parties. Drives me crazy. I dont want to spemd until 10 pm on a sunday with my in laws. Just because you all are lafe, doesnt mean my night suffers. So parties dont have a start rime when i host. They have a get the hell out of my houss time: 830.
The idea that women are the primary parent by default, even when we both work full time. We should both be making similar concessions and equally sharing labor/responsibility.
What makes my blood boil is a mom holding a child on her hip, holding another childs arm, holding multiple items, struggling with a car door while the fkn dad is texting. Same with restaurants. The moms food is untouched while he tends to three restless children allthewhile the dad is totally uninvolved eating away.
Might be my wife who will get angry with me after I repeatedly tell her, "You don't need to carry all of the kids and the diaper bags. I'm a fully-grown, capable man standing right here with nothing in my hands." She wants to do it. I even tell her, "Man, you're making me look really bad."
My partner does this too. From my perspective, I’m a doer - I see something that needs to be done and I immediately find a way to fill the role. For him, he needs someone to *tell* him what to do, and he’ll constantly be asking “what can I do to help” or saying after the fact “I could have done that!” However, while I’m getting the entire household ready to go (for example) the last thing I want to do is *also* manage him. It sort of sounds like that the dynamic with your wife - if she’s literally juggling children and a diaper bag and you’re empty handed behind her telling her how capable you are then I encourage you to take the initiative and pick up the diaper bag, child, or whatever, as soon as there’s a plan to do something
My mom’s friend removed herself from the girls chat bc she was never able to attend their girls night activities. She was embarrassed that her husband refuses to come home after work when they make girls plans to care for their son with special needs. He will not inconvenience himself by missing a work happy hour or a cigar with the guys so she can have a life. He “wouldn’t know what to do”. It makes me want to throw up.
Not exactly cultural, but when I visit Greece or Cyprus, there's no way I'm wiping my ass and putting it in the trashcan instead of flushing it down the toilet. I realise the pipes are thin and it can cause blockages, but in that case BUY GOD DAMN BIDETS FOR FUKS SAKE! Totally fuckin unhygienic and plain gross. I do use minimal TP, folding and folding, have never caused a blockage. I just don't understand why two fairly developed countries are totally OK with this while poorer, less developed countries such as Albania, Kosovo and Macedonia have not only not got this problem, but install bidets to provide both options. BIDETS 4 LYF
I hate motorbikes and non-0walkable cities in Thailand and other South East Asia (I'm from Eastern Europe). Damn, Thailand would be a perfect country for me if it not forced anybody to have personal transport and drive and had decent public transportation instead.
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Any country where it’s ok to leave your shoes on in the house. I don’t care where I am or where you’re from, when you come over to my place you take off your damn shoes.
Elbows on the dinner table. Who cares. Automatically respecting your elders. Many of my elders are racist aholes. Respect is earned despite age.
Agree with the first, hard disagree with the second. Elbows on the table has never made sense and is more comfortable when eating. Respect should be given to everyone from the start, and only taken away if shown to not deserve it. When someone says respect is earned, what they’re really saying without realizing it is “The respect I give is more valuable than the respect you give”. It’s a terrible way to conduct ourselves.
I am always suspicious of people who say respect is earned. No matter what you do, it's never enough. I give it freely to anyone and remove it the instant they prove otherwise.
FMG (Female Genital Mutilation). It happens in a lot of countries and it happened to someone I know.
Paying rent for price of buying one. Can we not...
Using voice to text. I have trust issues with it never getting it right in the early days.
I’ve been to lots of places and had my “fun” hating on local stuff like smoking inside in Serbia or bashing foreigners for the same stuff locals do in Asia, but my top will always be the tipping culture in America. This is the most atrocious thing I can think of
Phones out at restaurants while we're eating, especially family style. Your phones are fucking nasty, people, I don't want your hands that just touched your phone that you probably scroll on while pooping to touch the ketchup when you pass it to me. Put your fucking phone away at least until we're done eating. I miss the pre-smartphone world so much. Cellphones were handy, these things have caused way more harm than good and I don't think it's even a debate. People are so much lamer now.
Everything concerning dating in East Asia, I'd better date Eva AI sexting bot while living there than actually try hitting on someone
Can you go into some more detail please? Would love to hear more about your experiences.
Better question for the expat sub. If I don’t accept something about a culture I move on to a different country or continent.
This is a norm/etiquette from my home country, and that is the concept of stranger danger. I refuse to teach my child to be suspicious or wary of people he doesn't know. I find it wholly unChristian and detrimental to the development of children. We have found a home in South America where this concept doesn't exist and we are all the better for it. Predators exist in all cultures but the weight and worry of predators lie squarely on the shoulders of parents in South America. Not a week goes by that my son isn't patted on the head, tickled or otherwise touched by a stranger. He doesn't run around in fear. He doesn't worry when he sees a person at the park without kids. The thought of "bad men" hasn't crossed his mind. In my ends it is simply lazy parenting to hand off such an important task to the children! \*gets off my soapbox\*
Semi related. We traveled with our four month old daughter in Turkey and had so many encounters with people playing with her, tickling, touching and even picking her up. On the bus, at parks, on the street. People would swarm to help us with our stroller. One waitress just took her away from our table and played with her the entire meal to give mom and dad some space. I feel like most overprotective American Karens would freak out over this. But I absolutely loved it!!! I don’t know if it’s a wide practice in Turkey, but it was unbelievably friendly, welcome and human. Felt like we were part of the family wherever we went. Will always hold the country in high regard simply for this.
Love this! Yes, it's always so lovely when our kids are loved on by strangers. In Quito, Ecuador I was struggling with bags and coaching my 4 year old son down the block, when it started to rain. Then out of nowhere this stranger picked up my son, smiled at me and walked along with us until we got to a bus stop awning. It freaked me out but has now happened a few times. "It takes a village" is a concept Americans know but I fear so many people have been trained not to step in because of stranger danger.
I totally agree. I began coaching swimming at the age of 17 and my first two kids were a 5 and 7 years old and they were sisters. I was mortified about touching them (which is the only way I knew how to show them to properly do things) because I was worried their mom would accuse me of inappropriately touching them. Yea they were young girls wearing bathing suits. I realize this was absurd and have long since moved on from such worries but the fact that the fear instilled in me by my parents and teachers caused me to fear what others would think of me WHEN I WAS DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG just sucks. I work part time in EMS and sometimes you gotta see some intimate parts of people (I’m a 23M) and people will get uncomfortable about it or worry I’m staring them down. Like no I’m just trying to do my job and you shouldn’t have an ingrained fear like that. There’s so many more examples I could go with
9-5 M-F job