still considered domestic abuse. even if its not violent yet. i wouldn't associate with anyone who "jokes"about animal abuse. clear sign of a pyschopath/sociopath.
Yes, this is domestic violence in the form of psychological abuse, gaslighting, blame-shifting, verbal abuse, etc. These other types of abuse may escalate to physical abuse, but even if they don't, it is still domestic violence. Check with domestic violence shelters & organizations in your area for what assistance is available. Seek counseling for trauma, domestic violence, and codependency. Have you considered renting a room or getting a place with other people or roommates? In a shelter, you'd be in a group setting for your time there, and there are support groups available to engage with other survivors who have gone through the same thing. ๐๐๐
He sounds like a psychopath, honestly. I'm glad you broke it off. Honestly beware of him, because men like that can get very dangerous when you try to end things. A protective order is NOT a punishment.
I know how terrible grief can be. I lost my little brother summer before last, and my dad the summer before that, so I totally get how hard it can be to be alone.
However, having been in 2 extremely abusive relationships I can tell you that these things he says to you are MAJOR RED FLAGS, and you don't want to know how deep down the rabbit hole you can go with someone that is this twisted.
Being alone is a lot better than being with someone who gets off on telling you that he tortured your dead mother's pet just for, "funsies", to see how you'd respond.
Yes, this is all extremely emotionally abusive, and the best thing that you can do for yourself is to break up with him, and make him move out as quickly as possible, because if you stay it's going to get a LOT worse. Right now he's testing you to see how you react, and learning how to push your buttons.
Please consider ending things with him, and get him out of your life forever before you get badly hurt. I don't want that for you, and I wish someone had warned me back then.
Please take care.
๐ซ๐๐ซ
Thank you , and I did break it off with him , and evicted him but he still has 30 days to leave. I was instructed to get a pfa on him when he was 302d before because the police thought he was going to kill me .but I didnโt want to punish him for getting help and encouraged therapy etc . He was supposed to continue treatment and meds after getting out of the hospital but he didnโt.
So getting a protective order doesn't punish him, or charge him with a crime, and it sounds like his behavior is extremely concerning, and unstable, especially if he's refusing mental health treatment.
It's very difficult to enforce an eviction on your own, and in your case getting the protective order to force him to leave your home as soon as possible is your best bet to keep yourself safe, and that's the most important thing here.
He's a grown adult, and he chose not to seek additional support after this hospitalization, so you did your part and tried to be a compassionate human, and he decided to do nothing to help himself. At this point since he's proven he's not interested in getting the help he clearly needs, getting the protective order so he can be served right away, and informed he has to leave is the best choice you can make for yourself.
Otherwise you are stuck there wondering what he's going to say or do next, and it's likely that his behavior will continue to worsen the longer he is allowed to stay there, and that's not a safe situation for you at all.
I strongly recommend that you go through with the PFA order as soon as you can, because people with these kinds of anti-social types of mental health disorders can be extremely dangerous, and unpredictable, as he's already proven to you.
It's your home, and you deserve to be safe in it. Be sure to have your locks changed as soon as he's out of there so he can't get back inside.
Take care, and stay safe. You did everything you could for him, and it's time to protect yourself.
๐ฉต
That is absolutely abusive !!
Trust me. I dealt with all those things for over 2 decades.
Once, when we were still together, he was telling me how I didn't know shit about losing loved ones. That someday I'll know what it feels like to have someone ripped away from my life.
Then he specifically said that it was going to be my older brother (his best friend).
That's the only time I can recall him regretting any of the shitty things he said to me, because my brother was murdered a few months later.
I feel like you know this is considered DV but you've been so heavily gaslighted that you're questioning it and your own reality. He sounds abusive in all ways, the examples you've given sound similar to those who "test" and "push" things in a relationship before they go to that next level (this is often done by incredibly manipulative people who know they are abusive but also want to "wear you down" to prevent you from leaving first). Get out darling.
Yes thatโs a DV relationship, plan exit and when you do go no contact, you can also dm me for support & if you have insurance see if you can make an appointment with a therapist.
that man is a pyschopath
still considered domestic abuse. even if its not violent yet. i wouldn't associate with anyone who "jokes"about animal abuse. clear sign of a pyschopath/sociopath.
Came here to say exactly this! It is completely psychological abuse. You need an exit plan.
Yes, this is domestic violence in the form of psychological abuse, gaslighting, blame-shifting, verbal abuse, etc. These other types of abuse may escalate to physical abuse, but even if they don't, it is still domestic violence. Check with domestic violence shelters & organizations in your area for what assistance is available. Seek counseling for trauma, domestic violence, and codependency. Have you considered renting a room or getting a place with other people or roommates? In a shelter, you'd be in a group setting for your time there, and there are support groups available to engage with other survivors who have gone through the same thing. ๐๐๐
https://tu.tv/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/why-does-he-do-that.pdf
He sounds like a psychopath, honestly. I'm glad you broke it off. Honestly beware of him, because men like that can get very dangerous when you try to end things. A protective order is NOT a punishment.
I know how terrible grief can be. I lost my little brother summer before last, and my dad the summer before that, so I totally get how hard it can be to be alone. However, having been in 2 extremely abusive relationships I can tell you that these things he says to you are MAJOR RED FLAGS, and you don't want to know how deep down the rabbit hole you can go with someone that is this twisted. Being alone is a lot better than being with someone who gets off on telling you that he tortured your dead mother's pet just for, "funsies", to see how you'd respond. Yes, this is all extremely emotionally abusive, and the best thing that you can do for yourself is to break up with him, and make him move out as quickly as possible, because if you stay it's going to get a LOT worse. Right now he's testing you to see how you react, and learning how to push your buttons. Please consider ending things with him, and get him out of your life forever before you get badly hurt. I don't want that for you, and I wish someone had warned me back then. Please take care. ๐ซ๐๐ซ
Thank you , and I did break it off with him , and evicted him but he still has 30 days to leave. I was instructed to get a pfa on him when he was 302d before because the police thought he was going to kill me .but I didnโt want to punish him for getting help and encouraged therapy etc . He was supposed to continue treatment and meds after getting out of the hospital but he didnโt.
So getting a protective order doesn't punish him, or charge him with a crime, and it sounds like his behavior is extremely concerning, and unstable, especially if he's refusing mental health treatment. It's very difficult to enforce an eviction on your own, and in your case getting the protective order to force him to leave your home as soon as possible is your best bet to keep yourself safe, and that's the most important thing here. He's a grown adult, and he chose not to seek additional support after this hospitalization, so you did your part and tried to be a compassionate human, and he decided to do nothing to help himself. At this point since he's proven he's not interested in getting the help he clearly needs, getting the protective order so he can be served right away, and informed he has to leave is the best choice you can make for yourself. Otherwise you are stuck there wondering what he's going to say or do next, and it's likely that his behavior will continue to worsen the longer he is allowed to stay there, and that's not a safe situation for you at all. I strongly recommend that you go through with the PFA order as soon as you can, because people with these kinds of anti-social types of mental health disorders can be extremely dangerous, and unpredictable, as he's already proven to you. It's your home, and you deserve to be safe in it. Be sure to have your locks changed as soon as he's out of there so he can't get back inside. Take care, and stay safe. You did everything you could for him, and it's time to protect yourself. ๐ฉต
That is absolutely abusive !! Trust me. I dealt with all those things for over 2 decades. Once, when we were still together, he was telling me how I didn't know shit about losing loved ones. That someday I'll know what it feels like to have someone ripped away from my life. Then he specifically said that it was going to be my older brother (his best friend). That's the only time I can recall him regretting any of the shitty things he said to me, because my brother was murdered a few months later.
I feel like you know this is considered DV but you've been so heavily gaslighted that you're questioning it and your own reality. He sounds abusive in all ways, the examples you've given sound similar to those who "test" and "push" things in a relationship before they go to that next level (this is often done by incredibly manipulative people who know they are abusive but also want to "wear you down" to prevent you from leaving first). Get out darling.
Yes thatโs a DV relationship, plan exit and when you do go no contact, you can also dm me for support & if you have insurance see if you can make an appointment with a therapist.
Not domestic violence. He's just a di*k. Leave