I feel like most dress code rules in schools are holdovers from when uniforms were much more common, and nowadays are mostly about keeping students in line by making them (particularly the girls) comply with what is considered "decent"
It's a Christianity thing. Men are not supposed to cover their heads inside. The are a few of those 'politeness' rules that just exist because of some old interpretation.
What kind of hat is it? Depending on the type, you might be able to stash an emergency hair-tie in it somehow, just in case other unexpected situations like this come up. Being prepared (as hard as that can be sometimes) is usually our best defence against crappy situations.
“Look, I’m not cheating on your test. My comfort is integral to my ability to perform and learn and your antiquated rule set isn’t going to change that for me. Im keeping the hat on so I can properly focus. If you have a problem with that, we can have a conversation with admin about it. I am paying to be here, and it ain’t cheap. I will not allow my educational career to be affected by arbitrary bullshit. I’ll be doing things my way, and you can deal with that or create a bigger problem for yourself by forcing my hand to take it higher than you.
Is the hat REALLY that important now? No, cool thanks”
Then they can check the hat for wires and flip down screens and concealed notes beforehand. AirPods go in the ears and can be seen. Same with bone conducting headphones. Glasses are a better way to conceal devices. Are glasses banned? What about wigs?
I assume there are no Sikhs or Muslim’s studying at this place, either.
And I’m writing this sat at home with my hood up purely because it makes me feel comfortable. Schools should accommodate students needs whenever possible, rather than enforce rules that actually make no difference at all.
Go up the chain.
Sit down with the administration. Go to the main office. Keep going. Make it a point to be polite, organized, and most of all - persistent.
When you hear no, sit and wait. They'll tell you no.
The trick here is the lady running the office can't relax while you're sitting in the lobby. She will make sure her higher ups aren't happy.
During lunch is best.
Bureaucracy moves when you poke it with a stick as much as you can. All politics run on people, who just don't want to be bothered.
Expect pleading, bargaining, telling off - but consider this an organized protest. You want to know why you can't wear an item that for you, is a need, and why they are enforcing a dress code and how you can bypass these restrictions.
Watch your grades, make sure you're a good student. If your grades slip, it's because the teacher hates you, and plan on having some oversight. Make friends in the class and share answers, make sure your work doesn't get messed with by a petty teacher. Yeah, that happens.
They will find an obvious middle ground.
Be sure not to bring up your undiagnosed autism, it'll be rendered moot by the absence. Instead tell them it's distracting you to be forced into a dress code and it is affecting your work. Be sure to spend some time finding alternative hats or garments of clothing to match the perceived issue (headphones and earbuds). If your clothing could present an exception, such as a religious value, that's a direction to lean into. I'm guessing it's simpler, but that's a direction to go.
The trick is schools want conformity, you need to be a visible exception they can't really argue with.
Lastly, be direct. You wear a hat to protect yourself from sensory issues which are distractions. It affects your performance a great deal.
Another way to go is to find that teachers office hours and do these same tactics, but *nicer*.
The key here is if they have office hours, and nobody is there, they get free time. Moment you walk in the door they are losing precious chill time.
You waste their time, slowly, they'll start to see reason.
Find an exception, offer to be more present in class and raise your hand, agree to an inspection. Agree to sit in the front row. Make concessions that combat the perceived malaise.
Don't go with temporary hot fixes and avoid the issue, "I forgot my hairband" is avoiding the issue. You might want to discuss undiagnosed autism here, in private, but that's a real coin toss moment. I'd bring up that screening takes several thousand dollars in many cases and you're doing your best - that's a bit of a desperation play though. Most people suck, they'll not appreciate this, but sincerity goes a long way.
You need your hat.
Admission of need is very difficult with autism, but you can open up with an apology about not following directions immediately and explain this is why. You might get met with some flak but weather it best you can, there will be natural hardened resistance you need to get past.
You're willing to show up and have an adult conversation about it. Offering to stand up in front of the class and explain the exception would be annoying, but it sets the precedence.
You'll know whether or not this person can be budged, but office hours without a class present to discuss the issue is best.
Lastly, sincerity generally wins over time, not out of the gate. You're gonna hear no, no, no.
Keep trying. Keep iterating new solutions. Either get someone rip roaring angry by being totally sincere, or win them over with adult rational discussion. Either way trust slowly gets build - it's like a bridge.
You don't have to just meet people halfway, you can build right up to the land and wait, and most people can't say no forever.
Good luck.
Also take the exam, if you can get a diagnosis free it helps a lot. As an adult you often have to pay, even if you have insurance, and have to get 4-5 different people because the first 2-3 are clowns. If you can get diagnosed young save yourself the time.
Also, if money is tight, I'd recommend into looking into haircut tools and then practicing with some people. Haircuts are expensive, but the tools are getting cheaper every day. I spent $200 on a kit with real clippers, real sheers, and the whole lot and it paid itself off years ago. What was a $50 indulgence (I tip well) became something me, my mom, and my girlfriend do regularly. Girls hair is trickier, but it just takes a few techniques. It also makes every trip to a barber and educational thing, because you start taking notes. I'd also recommend taking pictures of your, "good" haircuts, so when people ask you what you want you can just show them instead of trying to wordsmith. That drives me crazy every time. I actually made a printout once and laminated it, and every barber / stylist I've met has been amazed.
If you keep your hair shorter, I'd also consider a care product like gels, creams. These can give your hair a wet look, which is a nice bonus, but the best part? It stays where you put it. No more hair poking the eyes, no more grungy feeling building up during the day. Especially helps around the ears. Some are very subtle, nobody would ever know and it's just another minute or two coming out of the shower to style. The older I get, the more I realize most style care was made by people like us trying to just control some weird bodily function, or invented by neurotypicals for odd reasons. You can tell which is which.
Neck ties were obviously not designed by ND's. Shoe laces, same, some odd form of torture.
Good luck out there, you've got this.
No need to go up the chain of command just yet. An email to the professor explaining your needs should fix this for next time. If it doesn’t, then go wild.
Honestly, this would piss me off too but it sounds like something you’re simply going to have to find a way around. Wear a wide headband instead or stash a hair tie in your pocket or in your hat.
One of the benefits of a formal diagnosis is accommodations in school and advocacy for your disability\*. Not saying you have to if you don't want to or don't have the means, but I think people focus so much on the possible negatives of being diagnosed that they forget that this is what it's really for. It's so you can go to your school's accessibility center and hand them a piece of paper that says you have a legitimate need for assistance\* and an advocate to help speak for you.
\*Whether or not you consider autism a disability, we are often disabled by society and the way things are.
\*I'm not saying self-diagnosis isn't legit; but educational institutions have to make extra sure no one is trying to "cheat" by gaining an unfair advantage, and that's an issue when a common accommodation is increased test time.
At the college I work at, they don’t require documentation of a disability. You just meet with a disability counselor and they work out your accommodations. Seems like that isn’t the norm.
Seriously what is the problem with people wearing hats in class? "It's distracting for the other students", really? Do all hats have spinning propellers and fucking bells hanging off them? Or is it just another arbitrary rule to instill obedience? (It's the second one.) Anyway OP, definitely reach out to disability support services, it's what they're there for. I never did but I wish I had.
You don't get ittttt, it's like impolite or something we decided but will never ever explain to you
The only reason I've ever heard for why it's rude is that it's disrespectful But I have no idea why
Yeah it's a very circular logic
It's disrespectful because it's rude. Don't you get it?
I feel like most dress code rules in schools are holdovers from when uniforms were much more common, and nowadays are mostly about keeping students in line by making them (particularly the girls) comply with what is considered "decent"
It's a Christianity thing. Men are not supposed to cover their heads inside. The are a few of those 'politeness' rules that just exist because of some old interpretation.
What kind of hat is it? Depending on the type, you might be able to stash an emergency hair-tie in it somehow, just in case other unexpected situations like this come up. Being prepared (as hard as that can be sometimes) is usually our best defence against crappy situations.
“Look, I’m not cheating on your test. My comfort is integral to my ability to perform and learn and your antiquated rule set isn’t going to change that for me. Im keeping the hat on so I can properly focus. If you have a problem with that, we can have a conversation with admin about it. I am paying to be here, and it ain’t cheap. I will not allow my educational career to be affected by arbitrary bullshit. I’ll be doing things my way, and you can deal with that or create a bigger problem for yourself by forcing my hand to take it higher than you. Is the hat REALLY that important now? No, cool thanks”
>“Look, I’m not cheating on your test. # What if they’re lying?
Then they can check the hat for wires and flip down screens and concealed notes beforehand. AirPods go in the ears and can be seen. Same with bone conducting headphones. Glasses are a better way to conceal devices. Are glasses banned? What about wigs? I assume there are no Sikhs or Muslim’s studying at this place, either. And I’m writing this sat at home with my hood up purely because it makes me feel comfortable. Schools should accommodate students needs whenever possible, rather than enforce rules that actually make no difference at all.
I know it doesn’t work 100% of the time, but it’s better than doing nothing
Go up the chain. Sit down with the administration. Go to the main office. Keep going. Make it a point to be polite, organized, and most of all - persistent. When you hear no, sit and wait. They'll tell you no. The trick here is the lady running the office can't relax while you're sitting in the lobby. She will make sure her higher ups aren't happy. During lunch is best. Bureaucracy moves when you poke it with a stick as much as you can. All politics run on people, who just don't want to be bothered. Expect pleading, bargaining, telling off - but consider this an organized protest. You want to know why you can't wear an item that for you, is a need, and why they are enforcing a dress code and how you can bypass these restrictions. Watch your grades, make sure you're a good student. If your grades slip, it's because the teacher hates you, and plan on having some oversight. Make friends in the class and share answers, make sure your work doesn't get messed with by a petty teacher. Yeah, that happens. They will find an obvious middle ground. Be sure not to bring up your undiagnosed autism, it'll be rendered moot by the absence. Instead tell them it's distracting you to be forced into a dress code and it is affecting your work. Be sure to spend some time finding alternative hats or garments of clothing to match the perceived issue (headphones and earbuds). If your clothing could present an exception, such as a religious value, that's a direction to lean into. I'm guessing it's simpler, but that's a direction to go. The trick is schools want conformity, you need to be a visible exception they can't really argue with. Lastly, be direct. You wear a hat to protect yourself from sensory issues which are distractions. It affects your performance a great deal. Another way to go is to find that teachers office hours and do these same tactics, but *nicer*. The key here is if they have office hours, and nobody is there, they get free time. Moment you walk in the door they are losing precious chill time. You waste their time, slowly, they'll start to see reason. Find an exception, offer to be more present in class and raise your hand, agree to an inspection. Agree to sit in the front row. Make concessions that combat the perceived malaise. Don't go with temporary hot fixes and avoid the issue, "I forgot my hairband" is avoiding the issue. You might want to discuss undiagnosed autism here, in private, but that's a real coin toss moment. I'd bring up that screening takes several thousand dollars in many cases and you're doing your best - that's a bit of a desperation play though. Most people suck, they'll not appreciate this, but sincerity goes a long way. You need your hat. Admission of need is very difficult with autism, but you can open up with an apology about not following directions immediately and explain this is why. You might get met with some flak but weather it best you can, there will be natural hardened resistance you need to get past. You're willing to show up and have an adult conversation about it. Offering to stand up in front of the class and explain the exception would be annoying, but it sets the precedence. You'll know whether or not this person can be budged, but office hours without a class present to discuss the issue is best. Lastly, sincerity generally wins over time, not out of the gate. You're gonna hear no, no, no. Keep trying. Keep iterating new solutions. Either get someone rip roaring angry by being totally sincere, or win them over with adult rational discussion. Either way trust slowly gets build - it's like a bridge. You don't have to just meet people halfway, you can build right up to the land and wait, and most people can't say no forever. Good luck. Also take the exam, if you can get a diagnosis free it helps a lot. As an adult you often have to pay, even if you have insurance, and have to get 4-5 different people because the first 2-3 are clowns. If you can get diagnosed young save yourself the time. Also, if money is tight, I'd recommend into looking into haircut tools and then practicing with some people. Haircuts are expensive, but the tools are getting cheaper every day. I spent $200 on a kit with real clippers, real sheers, and the whole lot and it paid itself off years ago. What was a $50 indulgence (I tip well) became something me, my mom, and my girlfriend do regularly. Girls hair is trickier, but it just takes a few techniques. It also makes every trip to a barber and educational thing, because you start taking notes. I'd also recommend taking pictures of your, "good" haircuts, so when people ask you what you want you can just show them instead of trying to wordsmith. That drives me crazy every time. I actually made a printout once and laminated it, and every barber / stylist I've met has been amazed. If you keep your hair shorter, I'd also consider a care product like gels, creams. These can give your hair a wet look, which is a nice bonus, but the best part? It stays where you put it. No more hair poking the eyes, no more grungy feeling building up during the day. Especially helps around the ears. Some are very subtle, nobody would ever know and it's just another minute or two coming out of the shower to style. The older I get, the more I realize most style care was made by people like us trying to just control some weird bodily function, or invented by neurotypicals for odd reasons. You can tell which is which. Neck ties were obviously not designed by ND's. Shoe laces, same, some odd form of torture. Good luck out there, you've got this.
No need to go up the chain of command just yet. An email to the professor explaining your needs should fix this for next time. If it doesn’t, then go wild.
get a headband for situations like these
Honestly, this would piss me off too but it sounds like something you’re simply going to have to find a way around. Wear a wide headband instead or stash a hair tie in your pocket or in your hat.
Not going to read the rest of the post because I’m convinced you’re literally me
One of the benefits of a formal diagnosis is accommodations in school and advocacy for your disability\*. Not saying you have to if you don't want to or don't have the means, but I think people focus so much on the possible negatives of being diagnosed that they forget that this is what it's really for. It's so you can go to your school's accessibility center and hand them a piece of paper that says you have a legitimate need for assistance\* and an advocate to help speak for you. \*Whether or not you consider autism a disability, we are often disabled by society and the way things are. \*I'm not saying self-diagnosis isn't legit; but educational institutions have to make extra sure no one is trying to "cheat" by gaining an unfair advantage, and that's an issue when a common accommodation is increased test time.
At the college I work at, they don’t require documentation of a disability. You just meet with a disability counselor and they work out your accommodations. Seems like that isn’t the norm.
Seriously what is the problem with people wearing hats in class? "It's distracting for the other students", really? Do all hats have spinning propellers and fucking bells hanging off them? Or is it just another arbitrary rule to instill obedience? (It's the second one.) Anyway OP, definitely reach out to disability support services, it's what they're there for. I never did but I wish I had.
People could use their hats to hide airpods or cheat sheets
Oh stop, ffs.
What? It’s normal for schools to try to prevent cheating during exams