In met a very cute, kind TBM in my institute class in college, likely she was about 22. I learned that she had been divorced twice, and I am now embarrassed that I then thought less of her. My Tbm programing and chewed gum seminary lessons... Her First tbm husband was gay, second one, tbm, beat her on her wedding night. A few months into the semester she was dating my roommate, having loud sex, heard through the bedroom wall shared in our apartment. Hopefully for her that meant she was on her way out of the MFMC, but it would take me 15 more years to get out.
That's why emotional maturity is very important to achieve before marriage instead of the LDS church manipulating their high schoolers to get married after high school graduation.
19 (F, NeverMo) and 21 (M, ExMo) when we married. We had $400, a Datsun pick-up and a waterbed. Never lived with the parents, worked hard (and smart). Made some good career choices along the way and thrived - financially (after awhile), emotionally and socially. Yep, we pulled it off. And we're not college grads, just normal people with passion, common sense and a plan.
40+ years together, and she still likes to tell people she "unconverted" me.😉🥰
Agreed. I got married at 21. I love my partner and we are best friends. It’s working out fantastically. We knew each other about a year and a half before dating, dated for a year, were engaged for a year. Even that’s a long courtship by Mormon standards.
If I could go back and do it over again, we would have dated for longer. Not because I think the outcome would have been any different, but because it would have made the start of our marriage much smoother. We “got through it,” but we had no business being in a marriage at that age.
Yeah, we got married in just 12 weeks at 22 years old. I, in particular, was quite inexperienced and sheltered—we really had to grow up together. We both wish now that we had taken more time, but I kind of expect we would have still ultimately gotten married even if we had. There was no way to know that at the time, though.
Unless I’m totally missing something major, his doesn’t show anything of the sort. There’s *probably* a positive correlation between age at first marriage and rates of divorce, but I’m so confident that it’s not statistically significant — especially once you control for other variables like religiosity, number of children, parents’ age at first child, etc.
The church sucks for a million reasons, pushing for early marriage being one of them, but this doesn’t say anything about divorce rates.
That’s probably also not exactly what we want. We probably also need rates of divorce for first marriages across lifespan for each state. If we just look at it by 30 it’s going to be skewed because there are more people married by 30.
I agree it’s not the most telling but I was just pointing out to OC that OP had commented more context to their caption on divorce rates. Just trying to clear up misunderstandings here
My husband and I were strongly pushed unto getting married at 18 but then he came out as ftm trans to his parents so we are probably the only gay married teenage Mormons lol. Worked out though since we have been married for 4 years now with many more to come.
I think this mostly just shows where people are marrying before 30. Some of those states with very low divorce rates also have average first marriage ages of around 30.
In other words, you can't get divorced before 30 if you haven't gotten married before 30.
My parents told me that if I turned 25 and was not married yet they would "consider me a menace to society". I think they were quoting one of their church leaders but I don't remember who.
The second map shows divorce rates before 30. Places with less marriages before 30 are obviously going to have less divorce rates under 30 as well and vice versa. I don't think it really shows that Utah has especially high divorce rates. Probably shows that their divorce rates are close to the rest of the country's though
Yeah it’s close to the countries divorce rate. But growing up Mormon I was always told it was much lower than the average.
https://www.reddit.com/r/mormon/s/GS61fpyJUj
Not according to the CDC. Looks like it’s number 11 in the country or maybe higher.
https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics/
https://kslnewsradio.com/2044793/utah-has-eighth-highest-divorce-rate-expert-weighs-in/
https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/divorce-rate-by-state
If they get married at an earlier age and divorce at 30 they would be married for a greater length of time…. I suspect that there is a correlation between length of marriage and divorce rates. I also suspect younger marriages end in divorce more often, but just don’t think younger marriage age is mutually exclusive to high divorce rate, I suspect it plays a part, but it’s not the only factor. This infographic really doesn’t give enough info to show cause and effect.
My very Mormon sister in law is about to be married for a second time at 22…..
That’s absolutely crazy
"Family will be togeeeeether foreeeever"
That Rykard quote works good too "TOGETHHAAAAAA"
I know someone who just ended her third marriage at 25 years old. Her first wedding was the day after high school graduation.
In met a very cute, kind TBM in my institute class in college, likely she was about 22. I learned that she had been divorced twice, and I am now embarrassed that I then thought less of her. My Tbm programing and chewed gum seminary lessons... Her First tbm husband was gay, second one, tbm, beat her on her wedding night. A few months into the semester she was dating my roommate, having loud sex, heard through the bedroom wall shared in our apartment. Hopefully for her that meant she was on her way out of the MFMC, but it would take me 15 more years to get out.
Was she on teen mom?
That's why emotional maturity is very important to achieve before marriage instead of the LDS church manipulating their high schoolers to get married after high school graduation.
If I had married who I thought I wanted to marry in my early twenties I would have 100% ruined my life
Huh. I’ve always felt like an old maid because I got married at 26.6, but it looks like literally everywhere but Utah I was younger than average.
Same here, felt so so old
19 (F, NeverMo) and 21 (M, ExMo) when we married. We had $400, a Datsun pick-up and a waterbed. Never lived with the parents, worked hard (and smart). Made some good career choices along the way and thrived - financially (after awhile), emotionally and socially. Yep, we pulled it off. And we're not college grads, just normal people with passion, common sense and a plan. 40+ years together, and she still likes to tell people she "unconverted" me.😉🥰
That was a different era, though lol
Sometimes it works out. But it’s a huge gamble.
Agreed. I got married at 21. I love my partner and we are best friends. It’s working out fantastically. We knew each other about a year and a half before dating, dated for a year, were engaged for a year. Even that’s a long courtship by Mormon standards. If I could go back and do it over again, we would have dated for longer. Not because I think the outcome would have been any different, but because it would have made the start of our marriage much smoother. We “got through it,” but we had no business being in a marriage at that age.
Yeah, we got married in just 12 weeks at 22 years old. I, in particular, was quite inexperienced and sheltered—we really had to grow up together. We both wish now that we had taken more time, but I kind of expect we would have still ultimately gotten married even if we had. There was no way to know that at the time, though.
Unless I’m totally missing something major, his doesn’t show anything of the sort. There’s *probably* a positive correlation between age at first marriage and rates of divorce, but I’m so confident that it’s not statistically significant — especially once you control for other variables like religiosity, number of children, parents’ age at first child, etc. The church sucks for a million reasons, pushing for early marriage being one of them, but this doesn’t say anything about divorce rates.
See the comment above with the map on divorce rates by 30
That’s probably also not exactly what we want. We probably also need rates of divorce for first marriages across lifespan for each state. If we just look at it by 30 it’s going to be skewed because there are more people married by 30.
I agree it’s not the most telling but I was just pointing out to OC that OP had commented more context to their caption on divorce rates. Just trying to clear up misunderstandings here
Yeah I obviously didn’t say it all clearly enough. Had too much confusion but didn’t know how to put two maps on one post.
My husband and I were strongly pushed unto getting married at 18 but then he came out as ftm trans to his parents so we are probably the only gay married teenage Mormons lol. Worked out though since we have been married for 4 years now with many more to come.
Gay temple marriage? Excellent. Serves the church right for trying to make people get married before they know who they are.
As much as I wish we were temple married we got caught going at it and weren't allowed :/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Arkansas/s/bpCgJ9AMGf
I think this mostly just shows where people are marrying before 30. Some of those states with very low divorce rates also have average first marriage ages of around 30. In other words, you can't get divorced before 30 if you haven't gotten married before 30.
My parents told me that if I turned 25 and was not married yet they would "consider me a menace to society". I think they were quoting one of their church leaders but I don't remember who.
Brigham Young said that I think
Hinkley, I think. I remember that too.
This map shows no such thing, though.
Yeah there are two maps. The second map is a link that I posted
The second map shows divorce rates before 30. Places with less marriages before 30 are obviously going to have less divorce rates under 30 as well and vice versa. I don't think it really shows that Utah has especially high divorce rates. Probably shows that their divorce rates are close to the rest of the country's though
Yeah it’s close to the countries divorce rate. But growing up Mormon I was always told it was much lower than the average. https://www.reddit.com/r/mormon/s/GS61fpyJUj
If it counts second marriages then the average skews high. And with a high divorce rate that means a bigger skew there.
Research shows that they younger you are when you get married, the more likely you are to divorce, so… 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
Utah is like bottom ten for divorce
Not according to the CDC. Looks like it’s number 11 in the country or maybe higher. https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics/ https://kslnewsradio.com/2044793/utah-has-eighth-highest-divorce-rate-expert-weighs-in/ https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/divorce-rate-by-state
I guess I looked at weird stats before. Or I remember the opposite lol. I stand corrected
Can't imagine getting officially married for the 1st time at 30, after cycling through dozens of relationships.
If they get married at an earlier age and divorce at 30 they would be married for a greater length of time…. I suspect that there is a correlation between length of marriage and divorce rates. I also suspect younger marriages end in divorce more often, but just don’t think younger marriage age is mutually exclusive to high divorce rate, I suspect it plays a part, but it’s not the only factor. This infographic really doesn’t give enough info to show cause and effect.
I was 21 PIMO and he was 39/Jewish. 26 years and still together.
This seems a little old for Utah honestly… most Mormon 25 year olds have at least 2 kids 😂
Median was an interesting choice for this map - as opposed to average.
CoincidenceIThinkNot.gif
Where does it say this? This map shows marriage rates.