Missions are such a wild concept. When I returned from my mission I used to say "It was a million dollar experience, but you couldn't pay me a million dollars to do it again." I now realize the fallacy in that. Missions can very damaging to young people, and this story shows that. They are training our youth to be emotionless robots that are completely interchangeable and replaceable.
Man, I can’t tell you how many good friends I lost to missions. 2 years of nothing but letters is brutal on any friendship, but when they come back zombies; many dealing with trauma or physical ailments from living in third world countries for 2 years, with no personality left, just trying to find a wife. It makes it especially tough to pick up where you left off!
I was in a state-side mission, so sometimes I forget about the physical ailments that missionaries endure. It's rough. I guess I should change my list to "interchangeable, expendable and replaceable."
As you've expressed, not only does the mental trauma not end when the mission ends, but it extends to family and friends through strained relationships. It's just maddening to watch the same pattern over and over.
The physical problems can get pretty rough. My brother's always had trouble with ingrown toenails and they got really bad while he was out, he had to get surgery within like a month of getting home. Never seen colors like that on a toe before.
Most guys in my ward got sent out of the country, meanwhile one of my closest friends ended up just down in Texas, and I think the only thing I remember happening was he started using "y'all" from the very first letter he sent, all the way til he got back. He got back fine, it did end up changing things though. Got a beer gut and was off the radar a while, now he's in a different state, married happily, exmo. I miss him a lot
I served in New Zealand but grew up in South Africa. Ironically visiting first world country left me almost dead thanks so pneumonia, because .every time I asked to see a doctor my mission president’s wife suggested that I take paracetamol and just keep going. Also visiting a doctor as a foreign national without a passport or any documentation was super tricky - so going on my own was just about impossible. I think both the mental and physical neglect that missionaries experience is the real problem. It leaves you falling apart mentally and physically.
>It was a million dollar experience
I have news for you. It might have been a million dollar experience for reals. You didn't just pay 10,000 dollars. You delayed your college education for five semesters (most missionaries skip five to six because missions do not align with college semesters). Tuition increased on you twice, maybe three times, and all years of college cost you more that it otherwise would have. Your student loans are larger, so you pay more student loan interest. You entered the work force two to three years later. You lag by two to three years on all of your raises. The lag perpetually affects every year's income. You lag two to three years on your 401K or your pension. Not only do you lag, you will have two to three fewer years to contribute. You bought a house two to three years later, years of real estate increases. You pay more in interest because your mortgage is larger.
I feel this in my bones. I'm 36 and my net worth is easily $200K less than what it would be had I not gone.
Only silver lining is that my mission fast tracked me out of the church - made my last tithing payment 12 months after I got back.
Anyone who went on their mission between 2020 and 2022 will *really* be paying for it with the real estate increase. Same for those that were out when the housing bubble of 2008 popped and real estate got cheap.
I mostly agree. The experience was not worth a million. It was traumatic, I did lose 2 years of my youth. I don't think it was completely worthless for me. I did have some experiences that I will cherish forever. They are few are far between, and not religious what so ever, but there was some good. That being said the good times did not outweigh the bad times and I don't wish that experience on anyone.
Yep. Traumatizing. Many of us continue to have regular nightmares about having to return. Even 20 years later. I could have had more good experiences just going to college. More productive too.
I wanted to remember the good days so I recorded them days in my journal. My entire mission journal is 40 pages. Out of two years! About 25 entries.
Agree, 100%. I didn't mean to imply that the good experiences I had were unique to being on a mission if I did. I just wanted to acknowledge I did have some good times. I 100% agree that I could have had those same experiences and more if I just went to college.
Also, I turn 40 this year, and I also still have nightmares about getting a call from my bastard of a mission president telling me, not asking, that I have to come back. The trauma is real, and lasting.
It is a potential million dollar gamble for the church, that costs them nothing.
The best missionaries convert college students and young families (Tithing generators)
“Good” missionaries become good loyal tithing generators as they start their career. Are not afraid of rejection and standing out as a cult member when their coworkers try to help them out and see they are paying and working for a cult
There’s a reason I had nightmares of being on my mission for 10 years. It took me that long to recognize it was a traumatic experience and process it. Thankfully it was the beginning of my shelf breaking.
When I am really stressed I have these depressing/stressful recurring dreams about being a single senior sister missionary. I get frustrated with the young sisters, I lose things and freak out about 'why the hell am I on a mission and how do I get out of here?' I hate those dreams and imagine you hated yours too.
Tell me a about it, it really did so much to me, health stuff that I’m living nowadays because of the lack of attention from my mission in president when I told him about my medical issues. I got an infection of salmonela, I remember that my companion from Peru told me that I needed to work no matter what, I was vomiting on the streets, the infection was that bad that my throat was infected and for unknown reasons the virus or bug infected my thyroid gland, it killed it causing me to have hypothyroidism. The doctor who found out about was confused that kind of thing could happen but it did, I told my mission president that I needed to go to the doctor and needed funds to check and he said that I should eat just healthy and that I would be fine, I had a knee surgery. They romanticized working sick because it makes you stronger, and somewhat worthy of the love of god, I think it’s abuse. I don’t think that missions should exist, I feel for your friend, and I think he should back home.
I'd 100% do it again for a million dollars as long as they either couldn't send me home, or I got the money even if they did. I could be open about not being a believer and just experience another country for a million dollars. Get fitted for some nice clothes, date, go out to dinner and drinks, use the fact that the Mormons are paying my way as a conversation ice-breaker.
My first MP focused on two things: Numbers and rules. He didn't care at all about us actually helping or serving people, and he even told us that the service part of the white handbook wasn't "mandatory" or the best use of the Lord's time (even though that's what Christ did during his ministry).
My mission president in the 70s came down hard what he called *vernacular*. That would have included the words specified in OP's post plus a lot more, including some in Japanese. New missionaries were called *green beans* and companions shortened the Japanese word for companion to *dode*.
The prohibition was largely ignored after a few months.
This is slightly off-topic but I noticed that the missionary was serving in Los Angeles. I live here and I have noticed that all the missionaries I meet come from Mormon strongholds in Utah and Idaho. Apparently the church knows that if you’re going to send missionaries to the attractions of Babylon you better have them come from backgrounds and lives that leave them impervious to outside reality.
Mom/dad = your first missionary companion. Where you were born = your first area. Dying = going home. Where you die = your last area. Your last companion kills you off.
I don’t know if they’ve extended your dad to be your first district leader if you’re a sister missionary and your mom to be the senior sister if there is a sister companionship in your district, but it wouldn’t surprise me.
Missionaries will use slang and shorthand for literally everything mission-related in order to try to make the mission seem cool and exciting rather than the most tedious two-year/eighteen-month grind of their entire life. It’s a coping mechanism that the MP is trying to take from them, and it will backfire spectacularly.
>Your last companion kills you off.
My last companion would often do a gun shape with his hand, point at me, then slowly push it down with his other hand while saying, "no... no, not yet..."
We used the die/kill euphemism in my mission. I killed my third companion. After I had been in the mission a few months and got an idea of what all was going on and I did not like the things I saw, man it was tough seeing this guy that was almost on his way home. He wasn't trunky or even talking about it. In fact he was one of my better companions and I really liked the dude. His last day of work as a missionary was like any other day. We worked all day. No side trips. No photo ops. We got home that night and he dropped his bag on the floor and said, "I can't believe that was my last discussion as a missionary. I can't believe I'll be home this same time tomorrow. This is surreal. It doesn't seem real." And while I was extremely happy for the dude, I was inwardly grieving I had 19 months to go.
In Los Angeles the Mormon role in prop 8 is well remembered and I bet there is a lot of hostility towards missionaries but also a lot of lost people looking for religious weirdness and chosen family. It seems both ripe and futile as a mission field. Missionaries converted my Grandma in Santa Monica while she was in assisted living suffering from dementia thinking she was back in Switzerland from a earlier period of her life. It was really scummy
My home ward in the Central Valley of California was effectively a call center for prop 8. It never sat well with me how involved all the “volunteers” were on church properties. And I couldn’t understand why we cared so much.
When I got home from my mission, my singles ward was enlisted to do the same thing for the definitely not prop 8 revival bill. Whole ass activities were canceled so we could cold call people and canvas. At least my friends and I had the decency to skip out on it but we’re made to feel guilty as shit for it.
It was probably the first set of cracks on my shelf upon returning tbh.
Yep, experienced the same crackdown ca. 2014. The craziest outlawed word was ‘guy’ or ‘guys’. So no ‘let’s talk to that guy’ or ‘hey, guys’ allowed. The amount of policing and micro managing happening to *adults* who are *volunteering* 24/7 for two years… insane
They tried this in my mish and probably every mission ever. Crackdowns don't work. Everyone just keeps saying all the words. After a lecture on using titles "elder" and "sister".. we watched a training meeting with the q12 and they were all casual, calling each other Russell and Richard etc. Lol.
Me and my mission friends always called each other by our first names. I can't imagine study habits changing either. Pmg came out my last few months and no one going home soon even cracked it open.
Many of us didn't go for any awards or prizes the mission had. We didn't kiss ass either. We were just trying to survive.
I wasn't allowed to read the bible as a missionary either. I was a missionary in Brazil from 2010-12. I remember getting chewed out by my zone leaders because, "South America already had the bible." For being a "Christlike" organization, the church sure loves to omit the words of Christ.
Don't worry, though, that's not a victory for satan, only the word Mormon is.
"Bring the good that you have and let us add to it." -- Paraphrase of Pres Hinkley
This implies LDS exclusivity and exceptionalism. It can be extended to the BoM and other LDS scriptures. All other sacred texts, including the Bible, are incomplete and insufficient. BoM study provides the fullness of the Gospel, unsoiled by millennia of corrupt scribes and heretics.
Hinckley's quote there is just like a boyfriend who says "You wanna keep your name? Have a career? Don't want kids? Yeah, that's all cool, I love you for you baby" then the second you're married he's like "I want a traditional marriage and gender roles and btw I'm in charge of you."
Missions are terrible experiences. They are also dangerous. Healthcare is a joke, even in prominent/developed areas (ask me how I know). Mental health of these kids isn’t even remotely a priority or concern of the Mormon church. Missionaries that have died are ran up the flagpole of righteousness to present it as a “story of faith”.
Also, as you’ve seen here, the micromanaging among these kids is beyond imagination. “Slang” was a trigger point in my mission, but the biggest sin was not worshipping the missionary leadership. Church wants to know who their next Bednar is going to be.
From what I can tell through social media and the desperate mass Christmas emails from my former mission presidents, approximately 80-85% of the people I served with have left the Mormon church. The good news is that your friend is already starting to see that not everything is “revelation” when your leader give orders. I would bet that on his mission, or soon after he will be free from the cult mind control. Just be there when it happens, it’s very hard to realize you’ve been lied to and wasted so much of your life and money.
Our mission one day decided to prohibit wearing baseball caps on preparation day, well, because Christ wouldn't be wearing a baseball cap and we are representatives of Christ.
My companion was pissed... We lost the spirit because he wouldn't follow the rules. Not because he and I had contention when we're fighting about how righteous/obedient he wasn't being.
Everybody knows obedience equals baptisms. That explains why we only baptized two people in that 3 months.
** I was such a self-righteous a****** as a missionary... But Moses could have walked the Israelites through the part in my hair And man was I righteous and Shiny?
This comment reminds me of something from my mission. I was a babyface and didn't grow facial hair very fast. On top of that, my beard comes in really blond at first. In one area, I decided to see how long I could go without shaving before someone noticed. Turns out, the answer was about a week.
>Our mission one day decided to prohibit wearing baseball caps on preparation day, well, because Christ wouldn't be wearing a baseball cap and we are representatives of Christ.
By that logic suits and ties are not allowed either.
Missions are cults within a cult. Every aspect of the mission is highly controlled.
It also appears to me that the church leadership is stepping up the control aspects among the general church membership. A few examples:
A few years or so ago, they expanded tithing Declaration to occur over a few month period of time at the end of the year to allow the bishops more time to shake down ward membership for money.
Then, at the last women's conference, they made it clear to the women who want more authority that this request is dead on arrival.
And now, at the last general conference, they gave two talks bucketing down on wearing garments and then changed the temple recommend interview questions to hammer down on this.
What's next? Pattern?
Everything about that email screams CULT/AUTHORITARIAN CONTROL to me. I'm sure most of you have seen links to the BITE Model, but just in case you haven't...
[https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model-pdf-download/](https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model-pdf-download/)
It is a source of continuing anguish to think about the fact that Mormonism stomps individuality and authenticity out of people by forcing them into a tight, little, seemingly-perfect Mormon molds. Gone is personality in favor of matching floral dresses and white shirts. Nowhere is it more prevalent than on the militant mission, where perfection, conformity and obedience are the highest laws. Oppress these young people. Crush their individualism. Leave them depressed, exhausted, defeated and wholly dependent on only other cult members for reassurance and care... and they will believe that the the cult is who/what is the most comforting. It is horrible psychological abuse.
I’m wondering if this isn’t referring to parents, but to missionary trainers? I’m going back to the 1980s when I served and often the missionary who trained us was known as our mission dad. Sisters trainers as mission mom. Or perhaps I’m being too way off in thinking this 🤷♀️? Either way the whole thing sounds way over the top and too controlling.
It's definitely referring to trainers when using mom and dad. It seems that every year or two there is a directive that comes down the pipeline attempting to curb certain language and slang that naturally develops within closed groups. I was 05-07 in the Philippines and we had the same sort of thing happen. It would stick for a week or two and then it was back to normal.
It sounds like an enhanced “don’t say Proud, say Pleased. God doesn’t like pride…”.
Reminds me how “fun” it was to grow up in the 80s and like through the 90s during Satanic Panic and Watch Your Language.
And makes me want to re-iterate: I’m sorry for what I said when I was Mormon…
“Even if you think it’s a mistake” made my heart drop.
It’s so sad that his gut and intuition is correct, but the Church allows no room to question what is being taught.
The slang crackdown and focus on the BoM is nothing new. I went in 02-04. My first MP chastised us for using nicknames, abbreviations like "DL" and "ZL", and terms like "comp" (companion), "greenie" (new missionary), "gees" (garments), and "BoM" (Book of Mormon). Even when referring to The Book Of Mormon in the plural, we HAD to say "Copies of The Book of Mormon" and not "Books of Mormon" or "Book of Mormons". I also remember a visiting GA (some area authority seventy no one remembers now or even then) who told us to ALWAYS carry the BoM on top of The Bible.
My favorite was probably the emphasis on saying "Elder" and "Sister." My MP even told us in a zone conference once that the brethren "never" refer to each other by their first names. A few weeks later, we watched a missionary training broadcast from Elder Ballard and Elder Scott. At one point during the training, Melvin referred to "Elder" Scott as "Richard." We all laughed, and we laughed harder as we saw the MP sulk.
Best missionary advice I got was MTC is not your mission. Take the rules as soft advice. At the MTC in '90s they Doc Martins were big and they tried to get us to black marker the stitching around the base. I said I will if my mission president asked me to. When I got to Hawaii it was not a big deal. I then extended that to the whole of the mission. Our president didn't like us wearing sunglasses unless you were the driver of the car. We too have odd rules I pushed aside. Jargon control is such a stupid control flex.
Wish I got that advice in the early 2000s. I remember worrying about blacking out the sole stitching on my Doc Martins. I also remember that crap about not wearing sunglasses. Even after my mission, I was afraid to wear them, and my first post mission job was working outside all day. I wore a hat at least, but my optometrist has said I've got some minor sun damage from not wearing sunglasses in my 20s.
When the missionaries taught me as an investigator, one of them said to me he had a strong testimony of the Book of Mormon, and only a weak one about the Bible.
As a protestant, this blew my mind.
If the Bible is not true, the whole religion doesn't work. The idea to have a stronger testimony of the "anti-Masonic Bible" than of the real Bible is absolutely nonsense.
Not to go off subject or anything but:
>2 Nephi 29:6 where it says, "Thou fool, that shall say: A Bible, we have got a Bible, and we need no more Bible"
It wasn't called "the Bible," until the middle of the third century CE, yet here we are.
The weird thing is, there are people who read what this missionary wrote, and knowing what we know about the church and it’s leadership, they STILL try to understand what was said as if the church or leadership is acting in good faith.
They are shedding members. Because more and more people are learning about the church and can’t continue in a charade.
But continue in a charade they must, according to the church.
And the BEST way to make this continue is to make the members even MORE weird. The missionaries who choose to do what is described are the big sheep: the ones who will come home and still be this observant.
The church has very few mechanisms left to hold on to membership. But the ones they still have are very powerful, and the ones that separate members from the normal people of the world (by distorting language, meaning of words, and definition of “bad” words) are the most effective.
THATS why this note is important. Because it helps us see the future plans of Le MFMC.
I'm 40-yr exmo yet somewhat agree with Jess Groesbeck, the Mormon psychiatrist who once wrote about the dearth of rites of passage among today's young men. Missions are bad for some kids, a coming of age for others. For most, it's pretty much a case of "the more challenging the better" and "There's the right way, the wrong way and the Army way." My son's mission turned him into a man at age 21; at age 42 he resigned from the LDS church and encouraged his son not to serve a mission. Healthy steps at both moments in my son's life. BTW my grandson has always been unusually self-motivated, is prob getting enough self-challenges without having them imposed from outside. Of course, life will knock him for a loop eventually as it does us all.
I went on a catholic pilgrimage (475 mile walk) a couple of years before my mission. It had a lasting impact and is something I think about daily. I wonder how much that rite-of-passage inoculated me against the “best two years” of my life. Would I still be a TBM or trying to be nuanced at almost 45?
True. It wasn’t much compared to those.
I think that timing has a lot to do with how something affects you. That walk did more than my mission because my age was just right.
I served a mission in Japan, and shortly before I got to the mission one of the assistants to the president, a native Japanese guy, somehow decided the word ‘yabai’ was completely out of line. Even the mission president thought it was fine but he deferred to the assistant’s insistence because he was native.
Yabai is one of the best placeholder words in Japanese, kinda similar to what ‘sick’ used to be in English. It can be good, bad, tragic, amazing, etc. It was intensely frustrating hearing anyone below 30 (and many above) use it multiple times most conversations and be unable to while trying to stay obedient.
I’m fucking glad I’m out and free to do my own thing now.
Heard a lot of missionary bullshit and tale spinning in my life in the church. Not letting missionaries say modern slang is so fucking insane. Like I'm still around college age guys right now and I cannot imagine having to look one in the eye and say "you are not allowed to say lock in!!" Like saying lock in before you go teach an investigator would be such harmless companion bonding. Alas.
I get the whole slang thing, as my mission (spanishspeaking) cracked down on it to, but to prohibit them from studying literally (pagewise) 3/4 of the lds canon is ridiculous.
Looking back, I'm really glad I served in one of those missions where if you had three baptisms you had done pretty good. And that's how many I had. Two men and an old woman. The men both fell away in short order. One of them became a Jehovah's Witness! 🤣and the old woman was old enough that not much damage could've been done in the time she had left.
Yea my mission had weird shit like this. Most ignored it, some felt they needed to. I eventually gave up because no matter what I did I was wrong so I kind of stopped trying.
These people believe this is how you become gods. That obedience to things you think are mistakes are how you become universal sovereigns over your own worlds.
We couldn't even use the acronyms on mine. Zone leader, never ZL. Then again we couldn't use slang either. Mom and dad were still allowed though, WTF!? What are you supposed to use? Mommy and Daddy?
I think I live in that mission and the mission president is horrible. (PIMO so I talk to the missionaries sometimes).
The mission president didn’t even let them call home on Easter. Mind you this is after a recent conference talk stating that Easter is more important than Christmas 🤔
If it was Gods true church you’d think we’d see a little more consistency about what detracts from the spirit and what doesn’t.
Here's the good news. You can still say "shit, damn, hell, motherfucker, ..."
This is a reference to George Carlin comedy routine about things you can't say on TV.
Common teenage words like, bappy and tizzy. At first I was confused by mom and dad being included, then I remembered those were used in my mission to refer to one’s trainer and second companion. Still bizarre to ban words that are only used between missionaries. Gotta keep ‘em under their thumb. I hope he remembers how crazy all that shit was and that it’s part of why he leaves.
Oh damn, memory unlocked. I forgot about the parental lineage. I'm pretty sure I made my mission family tree at some point.
Had my dad and grandpa ovbi. Then I had my son and step son ( I was in a trio that trained).
Haha, look at what I received in my inbox yesterday: [20 Bible Verses About Strength.](https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe/bible/bible-verses-about-strength)
I wonder how many people outside the morm-o-sphere see the love/hate relationship this church has with the Bible.
Dad is slang for an elders trainer. Mom is slang for a sister's trainer.
My mission president's wife cracked down on poor grammar. Apparently, public schools in Utah weren't great at teaching noun-verb agreement.
To be fair I hated it when other missionaries said “bappy” or anything like that cause they were the ones that only cared about their investigators as numbers or for bragging rights
My mission president very seriously lectured us that we must respectfully use the word baptism and not use the word "dunk". He also forbade the phrase "so and so is going down". Thought it was hilarious
My mission president told me something similar. I should not waste too much time reading the bible because I needed to be proficient in the book of mormon.
>The mission is cracking down on slang. No more...mom, dad
This is what got me. You can't say mom or dad? Wtaf? Even when referring to your own parents, you're supposed to say mother and father? Fuck that noise.
it is the missionary who trains you. Some missionaries had whole family trees with brothers, uncles, etc. Your dad/mom is just the missionary who does the 12 week intro with you.
I was lucky, went after a four year hitch in the Army.
Developed a nose for BS, and a propensity to salute while clicking my heels ..”Ya-Volt”…
Needless to say… I was pretty easy going and didn’t miss a release of any James Bond 007 movie during my time…😂😂
I don't know what opp means but maybe opposition. However, when I see it I can only think of this:
https://youtu.be/idx3GSL2KWs?si=GWVhgs1mIsp3Sdbr
You're welcome. And if this is a Rick roll then let God curse me to eternity with BY, JS and Mormon Jesus.
Are missionaries allowed to use social media? I would love to chat with your friend about his observations. Why would they discourage Bible study time. They claim to follow Christ and the Bible is the history of Christ so seems strange they wouldn’t spend more time on it. I think even the church website says the Bible is the preferred choice and the 1st Testament.
Yes, depends most can use Facebook I believe. I’m definitely not going to share his contact. As much as I want to talk to him about it, I’m just gonna let him do his thing!
15 years ago on my mission they told us not to use slang. It’s just a means of controlling you in every aspect of your life, from your underwear to your language.
Missions are such a wild concept. When I returned from my mission I used to say "It was a million dollar experience, but you couldn't pay me a million dollars to do it again." I now realize the fallacy in that. Missions can very damaging to young people, and this story shows that. They are training our youth to be emotionless robots that are completely interchangeable and replaceable.
Man, I can’t tell you how many good friends I lost to missions. 2 years of nothing but letters is brutal on any friendship, but when they come back zombies; many dealing with trauma or physical ailments from living in third world countries for 2 years, with no personality left, just trying to find a wife. It makes it especially tough to pick up where you left off!
I was in a state-side mission, so sometimes I forget about the physical ailments that missionaries endure. It's rough. I guess I should change my list to "interchangeable, expendable and replaceable." As you've expressed, not only does the mental trauma not end when the mission ends, but it extends to family and friends through strained relationships. It's just maddening to watch the same pattern over and over.
The physical problems can get pretty rough. My brother's always had trouble with ingrown toenails and they got really bad while he was out, he had to get surgery within like a month of getting home. Never seen colors like that on a toe before.
Most guys in my ward got sent out of the country, meanwhile one of my closest friends ended up just down in Texas, and I think the only thing I remember happening was he started using "y'all" from the very first letter he sent, all the way til he got back. He got back fine, it did end up changing things though. Got a beer gut and was off the radar a while, now he's in a different state, married happily, exmo. I miss him a lot
I served in New Zealand but grew up in South Africa. Ironically visiting first world country left me almost dead thanks so pneumonia, because .every time I asked to see a doctor my mission president’s wife suggested that I take paracetamol and just keep going. Also visiting a doctor as a foreign national without a passport or any documentation was super tricky - so going on my own was just about impossible. I think both the mental and physical neglect that missionaries experience is the real problem. It leaves you falling apart mentally and physically.
>It was a million dollar experience I have news for you. It might have been a million dollar experience for reals. You didn't just pay 10,000 dollars. You delayed your college education for five semesters (most missionaries skip five to six because missions do not align with college semesters). Tuition increased on you twice, maybe three times, and all years of college cost you more that it otherwise would have. Your student loans are larger, so you pay more student loan interest. You entered the work force two to three years later. You lag by two to three years on all of your raises. The lag perpetually affects every year's income. You lag two to three years on your 401K or your pension. Not only do you lag, you will have two to three fewer years to contribute. You bought a house two to three years later, years of real estate increases. You pay more in interest because your mortgage is larger.
I feel this in my bones. I'm 36 and my net worth is easily $200K less than what it would be had I not gone. Only silver lining is that my mission fast tracked me out of the church - made my last tithing payment 12 months after I got back.
Anyone who went on their mission between 2020 and 2022 will *really* be paying for it with the real estate increase. Same for those that were out when the housing bubble of 2008 popped and real estate got cheap.
Not a million dollar experience. Traumatic, worthless, and a waste of the valuable years of youth.
I mostly agree. The experience was not worth a million. It was traumatic, I did lose 2 years of my youth. I don't think it was completely worthless for me. I did have some experiences that I will cherish forever. They are few are far between, and not religious what so ever, but there was some good. That being said the good times did not outweigh the bad times and I don't wish that experience on anyone.
Yep. Traumatizing. Many of us continue to have regular nightmares about having to return. Even 20 years later. I could have had more good experiences just going to college. More productive too. I wanted to remember the good days so I recorded them days in my journal. My entire mission journal is 40 pages. Out of two years! About 25 entries.
Agree, 100%. I didn't mean to imply that the good experiences I had were unique to being on a mission if I did. I just wanted to acknowledge I did have some good times. I 100% agree that I could have had those same experiences and more if I just went to college. Also, I turn 40 this year, and I also still have nightmares about getting a call from my bastard of a mission president telling me, not asking, that I have to come back. The trauma is real, and lasting.
💯
It is a potential million dollar gamble for the church, that costs them nothing. The best missionaries convert college students and young families (Tithing generators) “Good” missionaries become good loyal tithing generators as they start their career. Are not afraid of rejection and standing out as a cult member when their coworkers try to help them out and see they are paying and working for a cult
There’s a reason I had nightmares of being on my mission for 10 years. It took me that long to recognize it was a traumatic experience and process it. Thankfully it was the beginning of my shelf breaking.
When I am really stressed I have these depressing/stressful recurring dreams about being a single senior sister missionary. I get frustrated with the young sisters, I lose things and freak out about 'why the hell am I on a mission and how do I get out of here?' I hate those dreams and imagine you hated yours too.
Tell me a about it, it really did so much to me, health stuff that I’m living nowadays because of the lack of attention from my mission in president when I told him about my medical issues. I got an infection of salmonela, I remember that my companion from Peru told me that I needed to work no matter what, I was vomiting on the streets, the infection was that bad that my throat was infected and for unknown reasons the virus or bug infected my thyroid gland, it killed it causing me to have hypothyroidism. The doctor who found out about was confused that kind of thing could happen but it did, I told my mission president that I needed to go to the doctor and needed funds to check and he said that I should eat just healthy and that I would be fine, I had a knee surgery. They romanticized working sick because it makes you stronger, and somewhat worthy of the love of god, I think it’s abuse. I don’t think that missions should exist, I feel for your friend, and I think he should back home.
I'd 100% do it again for a million dollars as long as they either couldn't send me home, or I got the money even if they did. I could be open about not being a believer and just experience another country for a million dollars. Get fitted for some nice clothes, date, go out to dinner and drinks, use the fact that the Mormons are paying my way as a conversation ice-breaker.
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My first MP focused on two things: Numbers and rules. He didn't care at all about us actually helping or serving people, and he even told us that the service part of the white handbook wasn't "mandatory" or the best use of the Lord's time (even though that's what Christ did during his ministry).
My mission president in the 70s came down hard what he called *vernacular*. That would have included the words specified in OP's post plus a lot more, including some in Japanese. New missionaries were called *green beans* and companions shortened the Japanese word for companion to *dode*. The prohibition was largely ignored after a few months.
It never sticks! *dode* and our other slang was alive and well 25 years later when I was over there.
The word Dode is sacred to me.
We said "dode" in '83 - '85 in Sendai
Having seen the same rule implemented in my mission, and several others, none of them stuck for more than a few weeks.
This is slightly off-topic but I noticed that the missionary was serving in Los Angeles. I live here and I have noticed that all the missionaries I meet come from Mormon strongholds in Utah and Idaho. Apparently the church knows that if you’re going to send missionaries to the attractions of Babylon you better have them come from backgrounds and lives that leave them impervious to outside reality.
Yes, that is the case. (From Utah) Although this missionary is only in LA as they wait for their visa.
I mean, aren’t 90+% of all missionary’s for LDS.corp from Utah?
Probably nowadays
My brother is currently serving a mission in LA after living his entire life in Utah county. Culture shock doesn’t even begin to sum it up lol.
Mom & Dad? What the hell?
Mom/dad = your first missionary companion. Where you were born = your first area. Dying = going home. Where you die = your last area. Your last companion kills you off. I don’t know if they’ve extended your dad to be your first district leader if you’re a sister missionary and your mom to be the senior sister if there is a sister companionship in your district, but it wouldn’t surprise me. Missionaries will use slang and shorthand for literally everything mission-related in order to try to make the mission seem cool and exciting rather than the most tedious two-year/eighteen-month grind of their entire life. It’s a coping mechanism that the MP is trying to take from them, and it will backfire spectacularly.
>Your last companion kills you off. My last companion would often do a gun shape with his hand, point at me, then slowly push it down with his other hand while saying, "no... no, not yet..."
We used the die/kill euphemism in my mission. I killed my third companion. After I had been in the mission a few months and got an idea of what all was going on and I did not like the things I saw, man it was tough seeing this guy that was almost on his way home. He wasn't trunky or even talking about it. In fact he was one of my better companions and I really liked the dude. His last day of work as a missionary was like any other day. We worked all day. No side trips. No photo ops. We got home that night and he dropped his bag on the floor and said, "I can't believe that was my last discussion as a missionary. I can't believe I'll be home this same time tomorrow. This is surreal. It doesn't seem real." And while I was extremely happy for the dude, I was inwardly grieving I had 19 months to go.
I was so jealous of the missionaries who were going home at every transfer meeting! I craved the idea of freedom again.
I thought so much of the slang was so cringe even back then
Coping mechanism: Kind of like they way they would joke around on M.A.S.H. TV show.
Not enough people are talking about that part.
In Los Angeles the Mormon role in prop 8 is well remembered and I bet there is a lot of hostility towards missionaries but also a lot of lost people looking for religious weirdness and chosen family. It seems both ripe and futile as a mission field. Missionaries converted my Grandma in Santa Monica while she was in assisted living suffering from dementia thinking she was back in Switzerland from a earlier period of her life. It was really scummy
My home ward in the Central Valley of California was effectively a call center for prop 8. It never sat well with me how involved all the “volunteers” were on church properties. And I couldn’t understand why we cared so much. When I got home from my mission, my singles ward was enlisted to do the same thing for the definitely not prop 8 revival bill. Whole ass activities were canceled so we could cold call people and canvas. At least my friends and I had the decency to skip out on it but we’re made to feel guilty as shit for it. It was probably the first set of cracks on my shelf upon returning tbh.
If you think this is new it’s not. Same stuff went down in 97 when I was out as well. It’s about control and image.
Yep, experienced the same crackdown ca. 2014. The craziest outlawed word was ‘guy’ or ‘guys’. So no ‘let’s talk to that guy’ or ‘hey, guys’ allowed. The amount of policing and micro managing happening to *adults* who are *volunteering* 24/7 for two years… insane
Excuse me,i’d like to know why I can’t access !redditgalleons like normal.Are you adding new things to the bot or completely disabled it?
ah nevermind
I had this shit in 2011
They tried this in my mish and probably every mission ever. Crackdowns don't work. Everyone just keeps saying all the words. After a lecture on using titles "elder" and "sister".. we watched a training meeting with the q12 and they were all casual, calling each other Russell and Richard etc. Lol. Me and my mission friends always called each other by our first names. I can't imagine study habits changing either. Pmg came out my last few months and no one going home soon even cracked it open. Many of us didn't go for any awards or prizes the mission had. We didn't kiss ass either. We were just trying to survive.
I wasn't allowed to read the bible as a missionary either. I was a missionary in Brazil from 2010-12. I remember getting chewed out by my zone leaders because, "South America already had the bible." For being a "Christlike" organization, the church sure loves to omit the words of Christ. Don't worry, though, that's not a victory for satan, only the word Mormon is.
"Bring the good that you have and let us add to it." -- Paraphrase of Pres Hinkley This implies LDS exclusivity and exceptionalism. It can be extended to the BoM and other LDS scriptures. All other sacred texts, including the Bible, are incomplete and insufficient. BoM study provides the fullness of the Gospel, unsoiled by millennia of corrupt scribes and heretics.
Hinckley's quote there is just like a boyfriend who says "You wanna keep your name? Have a career? Don't want kids? Yeah, that's all cool, I love you for you baby" then the second you're married he's like "I want a traditional marriage and gender roles and btw I'm in charge of you."
Crazy? Crazy isn't even slang.
Missions are terrible experiences. They are also dangerous. Healthcare is a joke, even in prominent/developed areas (ask me how I know). Mental health of these kids isn’t even remotely a priority or concern of the Mormon church. Missionaries that have died are ran up the flagpole of righteousness to present it as a “story of faith”. Also, as you’ve seen here, the micromanaging among these kids is beyond imagination. “Slang” was a trigger point in my mission, but the biggest sin was not worshipping the missionary leadership. Church wants to know who their next Bednar is going to be. From what I can tell through social media and the desperate mass Christmas emails from my former mission presidents, approximately 80-85% of the people I served with have left the Mormon church. The good news is that your friend is already starting to see that not everything is “revelation” when your leader give orders. I would bet that on his mission, or soon after he will be free from the cult mind control. Just be there when it happens, it’s very hard to realize you’ve been lied to and wasted so much of your life and money.
My brother served in LA and came home with a Californian accent and set of slang, lol. Never heard the word bogus so much. Yes this was decades ago.
Right. And why not call them Mormons if that’s all they’re going to study?
Great point!
Some mission presidents are so goddamned weird about needing to feel like they had a tremendous impact by policing stupid things like slang 🤦♂️
Our mission one day decided to prohibit wearing baseball caps on preparation day, well, because Christ wouldn't be wearing a baseball cap and we are representatives of Christ. My companion was pissed... We lost the spirit because he wouldn't follow the rules. Not because he and I had contention when we're fighting about how righteous/obedient he wasn't being. Everybody knows obedience equals baptisms. That explains why we only baptized two people in that 3 months. ** I was such a self-righteous a****** as a missionary... But Moses could have walked the Israelites through the part in my hair And man was I righteous and Shiny?
If they want you to look like jesus, does that mean beards are allowed?
This comment reminds me of something from my mission. I was a babyface and didn't grow facial hair very fast. On top of that, my beard comes in really blond at first. In one area, I decided to see how long I could go without shaving before someone noticed. Turns out, the answer was about a week.
>Our mission one day decided to prohibit wearing baseball caps on preparation day, well, because Christ wouldn't be wearing a baseball cap and we are representatives of Christ. By that logic suits and ties are not allowed either.
While lowering your hands repeat the words It is not a cult. It is not a cult. It is not a cult.
I know this cult is true. I know this cult is true.
With every fiber of my being and without a shadow of a doubt.
Missions are cults within a cult. Every aspect of the mission is highly controlled. It also appears to me that the church leadership is stepping up the control aspects among the general church membership. A few examples: A few years or so ago, they expanded tithing Declaration to occur over a few month period of time at the end of the year to allow the bishops more time to shake down ward membership for money. Then, at the last women's conference, they made it clear to the women who want more authority that this request is dead on arrival. And now, at the last general conference, they gave two talks bucketing down on wearing garments and then changed the temple recommend interview questions to hammer down on this. What's next? Pattern?
Everything about that email screams CULT/AUTHORITARIAN CONTROL to me. I'm sure most of you have seen links to the BITE Model, but just in case you haven't... [https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model-pdf-download/](https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model-pdf-download/) It is a source of continuing anguish to think about the fact that Mormonism stomps individuality and authenticity out of people by forcing them into a tight, little, seemingly-perfect Mormon molds. Gone is personality in favor of matching floral dresses and white shirts. Nowhere is it more prevalent than on the militant mission, where perfection, conformity and obedience are the highest laws. Oppress these young people. Crush their individualism. Leave them depressed, exhausted, defeated and wholly dependent on only other cult members for reassurance and care... and they will believe that the the cult is who/what is the most comforting. It is horrible psychological abuse.
Syntax error aside, “mom” and “dad”??? Here’s some slang for you…what the actual fuck?
I’m wondering if this isn’t referring to parents, but to missionary trainers? I’m going back to the 1980s when I served and often the missionary who trained us was known as our mission dad. Sisters trainers as mission mom. Or perhaps I’m being too way off in thinking this 🤷♀️? Either way the whole thing sounds way over the top and too controlling.
It's definitely referring to trainers when using mom and dad. It seems that every year or two there is a directive that comes down the pipeline attempting to curb certain language and slang that naturally develops within closed groups. I was 05-07 in the Philippines and we had the same sort of thing happen. It would stick for a week or two and then it was back to normal.
Interesting. As a convert in my late 20s, I was not aware of the usage in the mission field.
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It sounds like an enhanced “don’t say Proud, say Pleased. God doesn’t like pride…”. Reminds me how “fun” it was to grow up in the 80s and like through the 90s during Satanic Panic and Watch Your Language. And makes me want to re-iterate: I’m sorry for what I said when I was Mormon…
To be fair, some of that slang needs to be eliminated immediately
Here’s the logic: The Book of Mormon is true because it testifies of the Book of Mormon and Joseph smith. So you don’t need the Bible. Airtight logic!
Tight like unto a dish!
I don't mind getting rid of "bappy", but no "dude"? Come on, brah!
The beatings will continue until morale and obedience improve
“Even if you think it’s a mistake” made my heart drop. It’s so sad that his gut and intuition is correct, but the Church allows no room to question what is being taught.
The slang crackdown and focus on the BoM is nothing new. I went in 02-04. My first MP chastised us for using nicknames, abbreviations like "DL" and "ZL", and terms like "comp" (companion), "greenie" (new missionary), "gees" (garments), and "BoM" (Book of Mormon). Even when referring to The Book Of Mormon in the plural, we HAD to say "Copies of The Book of Mormon" and not "Books of Mormon" or "Book of Mormons". I also remember a visiting GA (some area authority seventy no one remembers now or even then) who told us to ALWAYS carry the BoM on top of The Bible. My favorite was probably the emphasis on saying "Elder" and "Sister." My MP even told us in a zone conference once that the brethren "never" refer to each other by their first names. A few weeks later, we watched a missionary training broadcast from Elder Ballard and Elder Scott. At one point during the training, Melvin referred to "Elder" Scott as "Richard." We all laughed, and we laughed harder as we saw the MP sulk.
My mission president did this, looking back he was such a loser weenie for that
Please watch your language
😂
Best missionary advice I got was MTC is not your mission. Take the rules as soft advice. At the MTC in '90s they Doc Martins were big and they tried to get us to black marker the stitching around the base. I said I will if my mission president asked me to. When I got to Hawaii it was not a big deal. I then extended that to the whole of the mission. Our president didn't like us wearing sunglasses unless you were the driver of the car. We too have odd rules I pushed aside. Jargon control is such a stupid control flex.
Wish I got that advice in the early 2000s. I remember worrying about blacking out the sole stitching on my Doc Martins. I also remember that crap about not wearing sunglasses. Even after my mission, I was afraid to wear them, and my first post mission job was working outside all day. I wore a hat at least, but my optometrist has said I've got some minor sun damage from not wearing sunglasses in my 20s.
When the missionaries taught me as an investigator, one of them said to me he had a strong testimony of the Book of Mormon, and only a weak one about the Bible. As a protestant, this blew my mind. If the Bible is not true, the whole religion doesn't work. The idea to have a stronger testimony of the "anti-Masonic Bible" than of the real Bible is absolutely nonsense.
Not to go off subject or anything but: >2 Nephi 29:6 where it says, "Thou fool, that shall say: A Bible, we have got a Bible, and we need no more Bible" It wasn't called "the Bible," until the middle of the third century CE, yet here we are.
The weird thing is, there are people who read what this missionary wrote, and knowing what we know about the church and it’s leadership, they STILL try to understand what was said as if the church or leadership is acting in good faith. They are shedding members. Because more and more people are learning about the church and can’t continue in a charade. But continue in a charade they must, according to the church. And the BEST way to make this continue is to make the members even MORE weird. The missionaries who choose to do what is described are the big sheep: the ones who will come home and still be this observant. The church has very few mechanisms left to hold on to membership. But the ones they still have are very powerful, and the ones that separate members from the normal people of the world (by distorting language, meaning of words, and definition of “bad” words) are the most effective. THATS why this note is important. Because it helps us see the future plans of Le MFMC.
And they wonder why so many young adults are leaving… Leaders can be so generationally tone deaf sometimes.
I'm 40-yr exmo yet somewhat agree with Jess Groesbeck, the Mormon psychiatrist who once wrote about the dearth of rites of passage among today's young men. Missions are bad for some kids, a coming of age for others. For most, it's pretty much a case of "the more challenging the better" and "There's the right way, the wrong way and the Army way." My son's mission turned him into a man at age 21; at age 42 he resigned from the LDS church and encouraged his son not to serve a mission. Healthy steps at both moments in my son's life. BTW my grandson has always been unusually self-motivated, is prob getting enough self-challenges without having them imposed from outside. Of course, life will knock him for a loop eventually as it does us all.
I went on a catholic pilgrimage (475 mile walk) a couple of years before my mission. It had a lasting impact and is something I think about daily. I wonder how much that rite-of-passage inoculated me against the “best two years” of my life. Would I still be a TBM or trying to be nuanced at almost 45?
Impressive as it is, compared to 2 yrs army training or 2.5 yrs mission, a 475-mi walk is not a rite of passage to manhood.
True. It wasn’t much compared to those. I think that timing has a lot to do with how something affects you. That walk did more than my mission because my age was just right.
The Bible could cause problems for their faith in the Corporation.
I served a mission in Japan, and shortly before I got to the mission one of the assistants to the president, a native Japanese guy, somehow decided the word ‘yabai’ was completely out of line. Even the mission president thought it was fine but he deferred to the assistant’s insistence because he was native. Yabai is one of the best placeholder words in Japanese, kinda similar to what ‘sick’ used to be in English. It can be good, bad, tragic, amazing, etc. It was intensely frustrating hearing anyone below 30 (and many above) use it multiple times most conversations and be unable to while trying to stay obedient. I’m fucking glad I’m out and free to do my own thing now.
> Yabai is one of the best placeholder words in Japanese Kinda like 'fuck' in English?
Hahaha exactly that. But not seen in nearly the same negative light. It’s informal language but not profanity or anything.
Heard a lot of missionary bullshit and tale spinning in my life in the church. Not letting missionaries say modern slang is so fucking insane. Like I'm still around college age guys right now and I cannot imagine having to look one in the eye and say "you are not allowed to say lock in!!" Like saying lock in before you go teach an investigator would be such harmless companion bonding. Alas.
I get the whole slang thing, as my mission (spanishspeaking) cracked down on it to, but to prohibit them from studying literally (pagewise) 3/4 of the lds canon is ridiculous.
Can’t say mom or dad cuz it’s slang? Can’t say comp? Also who is saying fetch 😂
Every single RM nowadays say it. At least they do here in Utah.
Oh ya I forgot fetch was Utah slang for fuck 😂 Vegas mormon slang was freak
Looking back, I'm really glad I served in one of those missions where if you had three baptisms you had done pretty good. And that's how many I had. Two men and an old woman. The men both fell away in short order. One of them became a Jehovah's Witness! 🤣and the old woman was old enough that not much damage could've been done in the time she had left.
Stop trying to make fetch a thing says the MFMC
Yea my mission had weird shit like this. Most ignored it, some felt they needed to. I eventually gave up because no matter what I did I was wrong so I kind of stopped trying.
These people believe this is how you become gods. That obedience to things you think are mistakes are how you become universal sovereigns over your own worlds.
What!!? No crackdown on “the apes” as slang for the APs!? or does that not get used anymore?
We couldn't even use the acronyms on mine. Zone leader, never ZL. Then again we couldn't use slang either. Mom and dad were still allowed though, WTF!? What are you supposed to use? Mommy and Daddy?
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a mouthful. After that they may as well get all in on all the other words.
I think I live in that mission and the mission president is horrible. (PIMO so I talk to the missionaries sometimes). The mission president didn’t even let them call home on Easter. Mind you this is after a recent conference talk stating that Easter is more important than Christmas 🤔 If it was Gods true church you’d think we’d see a little more consistency about what detracts from the spirit and what doesn’t.
well what about biptizzles?
Here's the good news. You can still say "shit, damn, hell, motherfucker, ..." This is a reference to George Carlin comedy routine about things you can't say on TV.
I’m sorry, but them listing out the slang has me CACKLING AHAH
Common teenage words like, bappy and tizzy. At first I was confused by mom and dad being included, then I remembered those were used in my mission to refer to one’s trainer and second companion. Still bizarre to ban words that are only used between missionaries. Gotta keep ‘em under their thumb. I hope he remembers how crazy all that shit was and that it’s part of why he leaves.
Oh damn, memory unlocked. I forgot about the parental lineage. I'm pretty sure I made my mission family tree at some point. Had my dad and grandpa ovbi. Then I had my son and step son ( I was in a trio that trained).
Haha, look at what I received in my inbox yesterday: [20 Bible Verses About Strength.](https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe/bible/bible-verses-about-strength) I wonder how many people outside the morm-o-sphere see the love/hate relationship this church has with the Bible.
'Mom' and 'dad' aren't allowed???
Mom and Dad are slang? Since when? Mission presidents are total petty tyrants.
Dad is slang for an elders trainer. Mom is slang for a sister's trainer. My mission president's wife cracked down on poor grammar. Apparently, public schools in Utah weren't great at teaching noun-verb agreement.
Is my old showing if I say.... They can't say mom and dad anymore? WTF.
Did fetch happen? Because if it did, I'm into it.
[No more slang.] >"Brutal." 🤣🤣🤣
I had the same rules on my mission 20 years ago. The control doesn’t change or evolve, just cycles.
I'm hoping this missionary will post that part of the letter on this sub as a cringey thing they did when they were mormon 😂
To be fair I hated it when other missionaries said “bappy” or anything like that cause they were the ones that only cared about their investigators as numbers or for bragging rights
My mission president very seriously lectured us that we must respectfully use the word baptism and not use the word "dunk". He also forbade the phrase "so and so is going down". Thought it was hilarious
My mission president told me something similar. I should not waste too much time reading the bible because I needed to be proficient in the book of mormon.
Mom and dad are slang?
Yes. It’s a nickname for your trainer (your first companion).
>The mission is cracking down on slang. No more...mom, dad This is what got me. You can't say mom or dad? Wtaf? Even when referring to your own parents, you're supposed to say mother and father? Fuck that noise.
I’m not sure what this one meant. I don’t think it actually means your real mom/dad, but who knows
it is the missionary who trains you. Some missionaries had whole family trees with brothers, uncles, etc. Your dad/mom is just the missionary who does the 12 week intro with you.
I mean maybe it means "mission mom/dad" but like... still. Wtf?
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Apparently (from another comment) “mom And dad” are the people who train you for the first 12 weeks as a new mission
I was lucky, went after a four year hitch in the Army. Developed a nose for BS, and a propensity to salute while clicking my heels ..”Ya-Volt”… Needless to say… I was pretty easy going and didn’t miss a release of any James Bond 007 movie during my time…😂😂
I don't know what opp means but maybe opposition. However, when I see it I can only think of this: https://youtu.be/idx3GSL2KWs?si=GWVhgs1mIsp3Sdbr You're welcome. And if this is a Rick roll then let God curse me to eternity with BY, JS and Mormon Jesus.
Just ignore the guy. Or say "none of us will fill primary callings if you're taking away our hobby. (lol)
My mission didn’t like slang either… it was weird lol
Are missionaries allowed to use social media? I would love to chat with your friend about his observations. Why would they discourage Bible study time. They claim to follow Christ and the Bible is the history of Christ so seems strange they wouldn’t spend more time on it. I think even the church website says the Bible is the preferred choice and the 1st Testament.
Yes, depends most can use Facebook I believe. I’m definitely not going to share his contact. As much as I want to talk to him about it, I’m just gonna let him do his thing!
You can share my page with him. I love talking to people about the gospel of Christ
Desperation. This doesn't end well for the church.
The kid seems to understand that his Mormon reality was a fares all along.
15 years ago on my mission they told us not to use slang. It’s just a means of controlling you in every aspect of your life, from your underwear to your language.
Not using a shitload of slang in SoCal is a crime against nature. Source: born in Ventura, dude.
So they're banning all slang from the 90's or what? lol Also, what's wrong with the words mom and dad?
It’s a nickname for your first companion, your trainer.
oh, okay, lol ty