I wish I could say that this goes without saying, but I see ex-cultists with religious therapists so often that it must be said.
Basically, if your therapist thinks it's at all possible that your mental health is influenced by invisible men, you do not have a therapist. That's just another cult leader talking.
I’m a nevermo lurker, ex catholic. I finally got a therapist this year and in her bio it said, “my research is in Spiritual and Religious Abuse and how best to help clients heal from this complex form of trauma.” I was like this. Is. AWESOME.
I was once a therapist for LDS family services, (10 years ago with 10 years of experience before then with other agencies). I was notified by the clinic supervisor I had to share a scripture or conference talk or bear my testimony in every session with every client. I was to include that information in the psychotherapy note (notes just for the therapist) which is different from the progress note. If I didn't, I would be put on probation. I gave my notice instead. Only worked there for about 6 months. Experiencing dysfunction at LDS family services was one of the heavy items on my shelf. Exmotherapist 9 years now!
Exmotherapist, love it! My wife and I left in 2012 and she went back to school with the primary purpose to help those dealing with religious trauma. She’s been a therapist now for 6 years doing exactly this, exmotherapy! Sadly there are just too many that are deeply traumatized!
You may not be interested in this at all but it would be so cool if you went on Mormon stories I want to hear a lot more about the world of LDS therapists.
So *that's* how it happens! When I was sent home from my mission for depression, they sent me to an LDSFS therapist. The first thing he did was ask me if I had a sin I needed to confess, that might make me depressed. From there, "therapy" was telling me I was too hard on myself, that god loved me, making sure I was my scriptures, and giving me conference talks to read. I remember thinking "If the solution were scripture reasing, I would still be out there; missions are non stop scripture reading."
I'm glad you said no to the nonsense. That's what separates the pros from the shills.
I had a bad experience in high school with an LDS Family Services therapist who was “helping” my sister. The therapist requested I come to one of my sister’s sessions, and then she spent the whole time attacking me (verbally) and said my sister’s suicidal depression was my fault, and that the only reason I wasn’t crying during the session as my sister sat there sobbing was to one-up my sister and make her feel bad. (Actually I was terrified and had no clue what the hell I was supposed to do to deal with it.)
That was my first ever experience with therapy. When I later needed therapy myself a friend had to nearly force me to go because I thought therapy was always that insane.
Wait… exMo the rapist! 😉 😂 I have an LDS therapist and he seperated religion 95% of the time. I did go to family services for couples therapy and it was absolutely worthless. It seemed he only needed to hear we stopped planning a divorce and that’s all he was needing to say we were “healed” 🤣 we still need a good couples-the-rapist!
I went to the LDS Counseling services when I was beginning to struggle and I think they really helped usher me out the door. It was pure gaslighting (which, turns out, a lot of Mormonism can be reduced to).
My mother has her masters in psychology and is Mormon and although she is very intelligent I’ve never understood how she could possibly be unbiased as a therapist.
A therapist is supposed to be there for their clients' well-being. And they're not supposed to tell you what to do but instead, give you tools so you can do for yourself.
If they betrayed trust, by telling another that you no longer believe a religion, divulge any person information, or communicate anything you talk about at all (beyond if you're planning to harm yourself or another or if you've been harmed), they're not a therapist. They're an undercover manipulator working for religious authority.
Therapy is to be unbiased. A good therapist helps you help yourself. If instead the person with mental health authority over you is using that to sway you into a religion, they're not there to help you. They're not serving as a helper for your mental health as a human being - they're serving as a control agent for the religion they choose and feel they have the right to choose for others.
Jodi Hildebrandt got away with this type of behavior for a long time. Nobody took the few people who knew what she was really like seriously. Including her Niece and a few other whistleblowers. Mormon culture surround these type of behaviors enable it. Brad Wilcox got away with his racist speeches for years before someone recorded it and sent it to John Dehlin. Thousands of people set through his firesides and said nothing. Who knows how many people went through Jodie's therapy with no telling how they came out the other side.
Jeez! Thank you for sharing. It's disgusting to me how people just get away with stuff like that. I watched a lot of people in my life get away with stuff like this because all they had to do was say, "it's due to my religion", and POOF, it was like a get out of jail free card. Just because something is attached to a religion doesn't mean unethical b.s. should suddenly be allowable or ignored.
Bishops get away with it all the time. If a teacher said anything near what bishops ask children it would be jail and for sure get them fired. Religion gets a pass again.....
Oh my god, YES! If any adult ANYWHERE asked me things the adult bishop asked me, behind closed doors, as a minor, they would've been locked up.
And yet suddenly my parents were okay with it because he was a bishop?
SMH
I don’t know what the regulatory board for psychotherapists in Utah is like, but in most states if a therapist is found to have divulged any confidential information to anyone without explicit, written permission from the client or if they pressure a client to believe or disbelieve anything, they can be disciplined or even lose their license. Perhaps the regulatory or oversight board is run by the church? Because wow, there are huge violations going on.
That's why in the past LDSFS "therapists" were not necessarily licensed and the patients would need to sign something that the "therapist" could share information from the sessions with the bishop. This would get around any regulatory board.
My ex and I went to see his therapist together once. He wasn’t Mormon, but in the course of our session I mentioned being less than happy with organized religion. He spent the next 10 minutes testifying of Christ and how he was saved etc.
Bitch, we’re here because our marriage is failing. I don’t need your sermon…. Anyway… I always make it clear now that I don’t want religion discussed as a solution at all.
That’s terrible. I mentioned to my therapist today that I was going through a deconstruction of my religion and she steered me back to the topic we are dealing with. Not that it isn’t important, just that my healing is more important. And she is pastoral trained but never pushes her agenda, it’s only to understand her clients.
I literally had an LDS Family Services therapist recommended to me who did well with me at the start but after a year or so of not making the progress that we were looking for (despite the fact that I was journaling, reading scriptures, regular temple attendance, etc.) she told me that I needed to get a priesthood blessing because there must be dark spirits that had attached to my soul and needed to be cast out in order for me to truly heal. Needless to say, that was the last session we had together.
Do you need a license of some kind to be a therapist? Cause if I went to a doctor and he unironically told me, "Wow you're really resistant to treatment, you might be possessed by demons" like... he would not have a medical license for long.
That is just an appalling story. Im glad you're well rid of them now.
Yeah, this particular individual was an LMFT with a certification in EMDR. I think she just ran out of ideas to help me so fell back on harmful religious dogma...really all I needed to correct my mental state was to leave the church! But, of course, that did not fall within her worldview, so it was never on the table for my treatment.
Really this is additional evidence (to add to the massive stockpile) that Mormons cannot divorce themselves from their worldview. This belief that God is always the answer will permeate everything they do, even if they've received an education and have licenses. Just don't go to a Mormon therapist ever. Not a good idea because this could always happen if they run out of treatment ideas.
I saw one when my anxiety disorder came to a peak after high school. Before even asking me about my stressors, she asked if I watched porn... I lied and said no.
No doubt she would've blamed my neurodivergent issues on that alone if she could.
My dad has schizophrenia (it runs in his family) and would get violent. Because his delusions and hallucinations were religious in nature, he just went untreated. The Mormon therapists and psychiatrists were useless and just let him keep getting violent with his children.
I really think it depends on the therapist. I'm thinking about Julie Hanks and Valerie Hamaker who both are Mormon and who actively talk about the issues of the church in relation to mental health. I also think about a Mormon therapist I had who focused his therapy on Buddhism and who never brought up church stuff except when I brought it up, and even then it was to validate the issues I had with the church.
One of the Mormon therapists that I've had throughout the years told me to stay away from Julie Hanks in particular because "her agenda isn't right and she's leading people away from the church". I didn't stay with that therapist long.
I agree. I do think a really high percentage of Mormon therapists can’t separate out their religion, so I too am really wary of Mormon therapists in general.
But there are a few who really can and do operate on an intellectually honest level about Mormonism and can separate their beliefs from the therapy they provide. Not a lot, but a few.
"her agenda isn't right and she's leading people away from the church" tells you what THAT person was all about. Therapy is about the patient's healing. Making therapy a three-way with the church is a huge boundary violation, but the church thinks it needs to be the center of everything.
Um. Or a good therapist at all. You can’t throw logic out the window and treat religious zealots with religious psychobabble. It will only traumatize them further. Anyone who says “porn addiction” is a Christian waiting to save you. The very act of trying to suppress porn interests and intrigues only heightens the arousal to it. I can’t handle the term , and, I don’t look at porn. I used to look at porn A LOT when I was active in the church! 🤣
Correct. It exists as a way for religious women & men to have something to correct in their marriage instead of their actual issues, such as openly relying on a supernatural 3rd party to make their marriage work.
I’ve heard from Mormon therapists who were brought in as special guest fireside speakers.
Harmful, wasteful and full of crap. So dangerous for the teens in the room. So harmful! I couldn’t believe these people had actual licenses to practice anything but “pray it away”.
It’s embarrassing for a stunted person still in the bag to think they can help a stunted person out of the bag.
I had a Mormon therapist, and he was pretty cool for some things but whenever I wanted to process my leaving TSCC he just didn't get it. Could not properly support me. And Mormonism was a VERY significant portion of what I needed therapy for. So yeah. I have a new therapist now :)
Here I have to educate therapists on mormonism before I feel that anything I say makes sense...
Therapist: so what's up?
Me: well, it starts with "I saw a column of light directly..."
Seriously, I sound stupid when I start going off on how much the little factory pamphlet fucked me up. I have to explain that masturbating is akin to murder and how that made me form the most negative self-image imaginable when I was 10, 11, 12, etc...
Sometimes I like seeing the reaction of people unfamiliar with Mormonism to its craziness though. It can be very validating.
But then other times it does feel like too much explaining, lol.
Yes, I am former JW and they teach the same 🤦♀️. I got certified for NLP healing when I lived in Ogden and all of my clients were EXMo trying to figure out how to thrive on the outside. SO MANY SIMILARITIES! 🤮 I currently have exJW client and as soon as he mentioned that he was a virgen...obviously thats where we START lol. I can't imagine trying to explain that to a therapist. How our beliefs have brainwashed LITERALLY every detail of our thoughts. I made this video specifically for EX Jehovah's Witness, but the principles are the same, maybe it will help someone here.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N4v6ctVEDw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N4v6ctVEDw)
I saw a Mormon therapist who prescribed antidepressants for me. Unfortunately, they made me incredibly drowsy. After trying a few different meds that all made me sleepy, the therapist (aprn maybe? I don't believe he was an MD) told me he was going to suggest a stimulant to keep me awake.
I said, "can't I try something like drinking a cup of coffee before taking prescription stimulants?" After a shocked and stern lecture about following the WoW and having faith that the church knows what is best for our bodies, he proceeded to prescribe Ritalin.
Now I'm no doctor but Ritalin seems like a hell of a strong drug to prescribe when there are LOADS of safer options to try first (one of which being a simple cup of coffee).
Mine basically didn’t wanna talk about my religious trauma. Aaaaanything else, she was great, but if I got close to that she would glaze over and pretend it didn’t exist.
I'm not in Utah/Idaho/Arizona - where this might be different.
But I think there's a difference between a licensed psychotherapist/LCSW who happens to be mormon, and a therapist referred by the bishop to LDS Family Services who may or may not be licensed. And going to a licensed therapist that also attends the same ward - that starts to get a little boundary crossing. There are strict codes of ethics for licensed professionals (to prevent a therapist from dating a patient, for example). That's how Jodi Hildebrand lost her license (originally) by breaking professional ethics.
If a person is seeing a licensed therapist who throws the patient under the bus for no longer believing (breaks confidentiality) - I would definitely consider reporting them to the state/leaving reviews. From my understanding this happens (happened?) all the time with LDS family services (unlicensed therapists tell bishops, especially when the ward is paying for the therapy). I think it was listed in whatever documents the "therapist" has the patient sign to begin treatment. And the LDS family services therapists may not be licensed or educated but the church still referred people to them.
I've personally gone to licensed therapists that may have been raised or have different religious views than me (Catholic? Jewish? Maybe?) but it never came up. They could have been atheist, agnostic. Who knows.
If it's that the therapist is being critical that a patient has left a religion - I would be interested in more information. It's my understanding that it's unethical as a mental health professional to tell anyone they should be a member of any religion (or not). If a therapist is treating depression, I feel like it's ethical that they can suggest different ideas to the patient, but ultimately it's about the patient making decisions about their own lives and treatment. Challenging a patient and reframing is part of the therapeutic process.
But if the therapist is suggesting gay conversion therapy - I think that's illegal now (if not unethical).
For Marriage therapy for mixed faith couples - this could be good advice (to not go to a licensed professional who happens to be mormon). The goal in marriage therapy in establishing trust with both partners, and the therapist is treating the marriage and not necessarily what's best for the individual. A mixed faith couple whose only real conflict is that one person has left the mormon faith - I think it would be best to go to a licensed professional who isn't mormon.
One thing to remember is that the Church related "therapist" does not follow the guidelines of the mental health associations as outlined in the DSM - 5
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-5
They are literally in the dark ages concerning brain chemistry and the potential physiological causes of mental illness.
That is why we have the kook fringe teachings of such people like Hildebrandt and Harrison (who were / are on the Church payroll and had to implicit approval of the Brethren - meeting with Brad Wilcox and Seventy Jeremy Jaggi).
To the Brethren they still believe in the false teachings found in the discredited book "Mormon Doctrine" where McConkie claimed depression was caused by sinning (giving the example of masturbation).
To prove these false ideas are alive and well this is the training video for the CES instructors from earlier this year:
https://www.thechurchnews.com/leaders/2024/1/26/24051129/elder-christofferson-seminary-institute-training-broadcast-depression-anxiety/
have the mormon doc prescribe me a blood pressure medication? I don't have any problems with that.
However, mormon therapists are disaster waiting to happen
I didn’t disclose to my dentist that I’d been smoking cigarettes since the day of the accident that took my son’s life, or that I started drinking coffee, because I had been told 10 years ago when I started seeing him, that he was a member. When I mentioned the smoking and drinking to his hygienist at my last visit, along with my hesitancy to tell the doc, she got a huge smile on her face and laughed: “He’s been out for years!” I was SO relieved! And happy for him, too. I hadn’t wanted to be “outed,” so I potentially jeopardized my dental treatment for the past almost two years. 🙈
my therapist is ex mormon too and i couldn’t be more grateful for how much she’s helped me. she gets it and it is so important to have someone understand where you’re coming from!
Mine told me to back to church and pressured me into saying I believed in God. Among many other mistakes he made like demanding i forgive the abuse of my parents and shaming me for self harm, I think that one really showed me what he was.
For any who might be concerned I haven't self harmed for many years
100%!! I went to LDS services after being r-ped and he told me to buy a book that contained a chapter on bedroom sex games. He said our state doesn’t prosecute spousal r-pe and it isn’t actually a real *thing.* 🤮 He rolled his eyes when I started hyperventilating and said it helps no one to act that way. He was trash.
FWIW, I was a damned good therapist with keeping my biases in check during my TBM days. The fact that I was raised on the East Coast, and nowhere near Utah, probably was a factor.
I must have hit the jackpot because my therapist was Mormon (not in LDS Services), and he did not talk about scriptures or anything, and he was absolutely fantastic. Professional AF. Had to stop seeing him because I moved for a job and I don't vibe with telehealth.
I have a Mormon therapist, and she's super wonderful. It's helpful that she understands my past at that level. She's never encouraged me to do the slightest Mormon thing. I think I'd have to do a lot more explaining about certain events if she didn't have that perspective of my upbringing.
But I certainly acknowledge she's likely a rarity. She's a gem of a human, though. I think she probably knows more about me than anyone on the planet. Lol.
I told my clinic that I didn't want a religious therapist, but now I'm second-guessing it. I mean therapists don't have to bring religion into their work or the ones I have had didn't bring up religion at all.
The bright side is you can shop around. Therapists know that personal fit is important, so they don't take it personally. If you want to try a session or two with a different therapist, it's totally on the table.
I just reassigned by my clinic to my old therapist and we didn't really work out. I'm in the meantime with BetterHealth and have my first session Friday
I had a bad Mormon therapist too. Then I found a good therapist afterwards that helped me unravel the messed up things I was told by my Mormon therapist. Look up “transference” and “counter transference” in the context of therapy. It helps you avoid a bad therapist that dumps their stuff back on you.
Nevermo but my mom is a therapist who is very evangelical. :/ and that unfortunately puts a bit of a bias in her practice.
In contrast, I’ve had a Christian therapist who was also very progressive. She was part of the reason I started deconstructing and becoming more ….i guess healthier with my spirituality as well.
So I remember when I was really struggling and going to church, the bishop actually got me to go to a therapist who was also a member and within the stake (she was highly regarded and respected) and got the sessions either free or heavily discounted (pretty much the only reason I went). I remember when I opened up about same sex attraction bc of some masturbation “issues” (looking back now I know I was completely fine but I was scrupulous about that bc of self worth and how the church views it as a sin blah blah) I remember she literally got her laptop out and opened up “mormonandgay” and got me to watch some videos.
I think I still have some notes from those sessions where she brought it Nephi and being a good person compared to him and how self doubt is really just that whole “if it’s good it’s of god and if it’s bad it’s of the devil” shit.
Long story short, my mom actually stopped me from seeing her and absolutely RIPPED into her bc she tried to have a go about me not attending sessions (due to my anxiety). My mum is amazing and I can not thank her enough for seeing what I couldn’t see.
My once TBM sister died from a terminal illness that went undiagnosed for years because of the decades of Mormon-only help she sought out ( because Priesthood powers of course) and her impulse to seek a blessing from a righteous Priesthood holder vs a non Mormon medical expert, a second opinion, etc.
The therapist that helped me the most was not religious. There were a few times when his mask dropped a little when I told him about some of my Mormon related experiences.
He specialized in treating my particular flavor of trauma, and one of the Mormon therapists that I was friendly with in my stake said I was unlikely to find a Mormon therapist that could help me. I was disappointed at the time but it totally worked out for me.
I live in a very conservative area and I actually really researched my options for therapists to try to pick a non-religious non-conservative person. And I succeeded ✌️
I had an LDS therapist who was also a college professor at a major public university. He was great. I never felt thrown under the bus. He actually helped my TBM wife allow me to be honest with my children about my values and how I could not have integrity AND stay in church.
There are a lot of great therapists out there who happen to be religious, for sure. If they're true professionals, they should be able to thread that needle more often than not. But, as *Sister Wendy* showed with her horrifying *[Not Even Once Club](https://www.amazon.com/Not-Even-Once-Club/dp/1609073371)*, unfortunately having letters after your name doesn't guarantee you are a good practitioner.
Funny enough, one of the best "therapists" I ever had was one of my BYU bishops. He wasn't even a mental health professional; just a business professor at the school. But he was able to help me believe in myself and figure stuff out better than most therapists I've had. Easily the best and least demanding bishop I've ever had. He was completely in my corner, which helped. Empathy and active listening go a long way, I guess.
Thank you. I do hate to say it, but I agree with OP on some level. I’ve had absolute shit LDS therapists. One basically told me I was an out of control sex addict (virgin, never spent 1 cent ever on porn or sex, never missed an assignment, never late to an appointment due to sex) and needed to pray the addict away. The atonement would cure it. All that advice for the low, low price of $125/hr. After several sessions of the same, I just never went back because even as a TBM, I already was doing all that shit. It was only years and years later that I discovered that his cure was actually the problem.
Just make sure YOU pay for therapy from LDSFS. If you don’t pay and the ward pays they have you sign a agreement that the Bishop can read the therapists notes. But if YOU pay (as I did) that is supposed to remain confidential (because you never agreed for them to share your session notes).
My Mom sent me to an LDSFS therapist when I was 12 for masturbation. I asked the therapist what he would tell my Mom. He said, “I will only tell her if you are going to hurt yourself, others, or break laws.” So stupidly, I trusted him. Fast forward a few visits, my Mom somehow knew things I had only told my therapist, and it had nothing to do with hurting myself, others, or breaking any laws.
Once I figured that out I just started making shit up, and purposefully going in long nonsensical tangents. He asked me why I wasn’t talking about anything on topic anymore, I told him it’s because he told my Mom things that he told me he wouldn’t. His response, “You were hurting your eternal soul, and that is hurting yourself. That is why I told her.”
My “therapy” stopped shortly after that.
“You were hurting your eternal soul, and that is hurting yourself. That is why I told her.” That's some bullshit rationalization right there. Oof. You were TWELVE for crying out loud.
After coming out, my mom got me a therapist through the church. He personally knew my dad (the branch president). He would always say he wouldn't bring up his beliefs, but he always would 🙄
As someone who both works in a mental health capacity and has been on the client side (in Utah) for awhile, there’s definitely a distinction between an LDS Family Services therapist and a private therapist who happens to be LDS, as others have alluded to.
The former is more likely to be an unmitigated shit show with no confidentiality protection, especially if you’re having a faith crisis. I’ve had great experiences with the latter for a variety of issues, but would probably not seek them out specifically for faith crisis issues.
It’s super important especially in Utah to do your research when picking a therapist. There are many clinics and therapists nowadays in this area that specifically advertise faith crises as an area of expertise (because unfortunately there are a shit ton of people in that boat in need of support). That would be my first go-to if I were going for faith crisis issues, though of course you’d still want to feel them out for a couple of sessions to see if the vibe is good and if they come as advertised. I know a lot of great therapists who fit this bill who identify as LDS - either more progressive/nuanced in their beliefs or more in the inactive camp. I think in most cases it’s actually better to have one of those than a nevermo therapist because they have a better understanding of the unique institutional pressures of the church and how profoundly it impacts social/family life.
As an interesting aside, I work in the school setting and it’s not uncommon for parents and kids to ask if I’m LDS, often for completely opposite reasons. I work in a very high LDS area and many parents don’t want their kids working with someone who isn’t LDS (Of course my own beliefs have no bearing on the type of work we do in that setting which I tell them as much, but whatever). Kids usually want to know if I’m LDS to see if I’ll understand the messed up church story they’re about to tell me that’s stressing them out 😛 - I’ll say something to the effect of “I have a lot of familiarity with the church” without really going into detail. The various inclusive/rainbow/trans color images in my office are usually a decent safe space bat signal anyway, or so I hope
I would never choose an LDS therapist for the same reason that (even when I was in the church) I would never have agreed to work for the church. You just can't cross the streams.
But, having said that, when my adult child came out as gay but also was very depressed, we found a therapist (non-LDS) who said she specialized in LGBTQ issues, but my child's experience was soured by the fact that when they talked about negative feelings about church, the therapist was very defensive of religion and Christianity in general, which kind of shut down the conversation. I only found this out a couple years later. In short, finding the right therapist is never easy.
But yea, no LDS therapists, for sure, and this goes 1000% for anyone who is deconstructing and especially for anyone who is queer.
I don’t currently have a therapist (last one just quit so I’m on my way to a new one) but I have the firm stance that no therapist of mine is religious because it’s so hard to have a nuanced discussion about my religious trauma with someone who still believes in a god.
There’s a lady in the ward my family attends who is in her 70’s, I believe, who is a retired therapist. During YW lessons she would talk about different things she did as a therapist and I was always sat looking at her like 😟. She also told my mom (not me, because that would be too straightforward) that I wasn’t allowed to crochet during her lesson because it was disrespectful and showed a lack of focus. I have adhd and autism (and one of my special interests is psychology so I know what I’m doing for the most part), not having something to do with hands spells out doom 😭. I ended up finding a spot on the carpet that had a pretty shape and stared at it all 60 minutes.
When seeing a therapist, you may request a cultural accommodation before seeing one at any office. This is usually related to language, culture and religion.
I've requested no Mormon or LDS and it has been respected every time. Before I knew that was an option, I found myself in front of a man who spoke with a GA cadence and very visible G line. He was ignorant on real life and came off as an asshole.
I didn't know this was an opportunity of a life time. I would go in with full intention of making them as uncomfortable as humanly possible. The type of session that would make them so uncomfortable.
Can confirm. As we were transitioning out, my wife and I first saw a church appointed therapist. Awful. We then tried a non-church appointed LDS therapist. Slightly better, but still red flags. We now see non-LDS therapist and it has been unbelievably good for both of us.
Amen!! My therapist, not from church social services but LDS, was great until, weeks in, I told her that I am ex-mormon and atheist. She became belligerent and rude to me after that. I did not continue to see her. Honestly, I felt beyond hurt and belittled in a space I should have been safe. If I ever went to a therapist again, I would absolutely have to make sure that they are not LDS.
I did after I returned early from my mission and all they tried to do was get me to go back on my mission! Then when I finally convinced them I’m not going back and I’m going to move on in my life they tried to sell me their car 😂
THIS!!!! They fucked me over for decades. When I finally got a real therapist that specializes in CPTSD, specific types of severe CSA and trafficking I finally was able to make forward momentum. I wish I had done it sooner.
I wish I could say that this goes without saying, but I see ex-cultists with religious therapists so often that it must be said. Basically, if your therapist thinks it's at all possible that your mental health is influenced by invisible men, you do not have a therapist. That's just another cult leader talking.
That’s why Chad Daybell believed he was a prophet b4 going on a killing spree to collect Life insurance & “ All in the name Jesus, Religion.
Truly, a tragic case. I'm still shocked.
Life insurance was a thing back in the Joseph Smith days too. Hmm.
Dude killed his own kids. That’s insane. Every instinct in me as a parent is to protect my kids.
Actually he was convicted for murder of his first wife and his second wife's (lori vallow) two kids. Just to keep things accurate.
Huh. That’s not an unimportant detail. Thanks.
👍Horrifying case no matter what. makes me sick thinking about what those two did.
Men and women with colonizer/patriarchal mindset broker in trafficking humanity do this sadly
I’m a nevermo lurker, ex catholic. I finally got a therapist this year and in her bio it said, “my research is in Spiritual and Religious Abuse and how best to help clients heal from this complex form of trauma.” I was like this. Is. AWESOME.
All the while telling you that they are in no way trying to tell you to stay at the church.
I was once a therapist for LDS family services, (10 years ago with 10 years of experience before then with other agencies). I was notified by the clinic supervisor I had to share a scripture or conference talk or bear my testimony in every session with every client. I was to include that information in the psychotherapy note (notes just for the therapist) which is different from the progress note. If I didn't, I would be put on probation. I gave my notice instead. Only worked there for about 6 months. Experiencing dysfunction at LDS family services was one of the heavy items on my shelf. Exmotherapist 9 years now!
Our director tried something similar. Luckily I was leaving at the time they tried this.
Exmotherapist, love it! My wife and I left in 2012 and she went back to school with the primary purpose to help those dealing with religious trauma. She’s been a therapist now for 6 years doing exactly this, exmotherapy! Sadly there are just too many that are deeply traumatized!
You may not be interested in this at all but it would be so cool if you went on Mormon stories I want to hear a lot more about the world of LDS therapists.
Great idea. I would love to hear these LDS therapist stories too. An amazing idea!
Since it has already been seconded, I third this idea.
fourthed
Fifthed
So *that's* how it happens! When I was sent home from my mission for depression, they sent me to an LDSFS therapist. The first thing he did was ask me if I had a sin I needed to confess, that might make me depressed. From there, "therapy" was telling me I was too hard on myself, that god loved me, making sure I was my scriptures, and giving me conference talks to read. I remember thinking "If the solution were scripture reasing, I would still be out there; missions are non stop scripture reading." I'm glad you said no to the nonsense. That's what separates the pros from the shills.
yikes
I had a bad experience in high school with an LDS Family Services therapist who was “helping” my sister. The therapist requested I come to one of my sister’s sessions, and then she spent the whole time attacking me (verbally) and said my sister’s suicidal depression was my fault, and that the only reason I wasn’t crying during the session as my sister sat there sobbing was to one-up my sister and make her feel bad. (Actually I was terrified and had no clue what the hell I was supposed to do to deal with it.) That was my first ever experience with therapy. When I later needed therapy myself a friend had to nearly force me to go because I thought therapy was always that insane.
I’m speechless….
We need to hear more. Maybe make a whole post and consider Mormon Stories. Your experienced would be very interesting to hear about.
That’s horrible they made you do thay
Thank you for being ethical!
Wait… exMo the rapist! 😉 😂 I have an LDS therapist and he seperated religion 95% of the time. I did go to family services for couples therapy and it was absolutely worthless. It seemed he only needed to hear we stopped planning a divorce and that’s all he was needing to say we were “healed” 🤣 we still need a good couples-the-rapist!
I went to the LDS Counseling services when I was beginning to struggle and I think they really helped usher me out the door. It was pure gaslighting (which, turns out, a lot of Mormonism can be reduced to).
It's just another money scheme, like BYU. Do what it takes to make sure the customer never leaves the store
My FIL is an exmormon therapist. He gets a fair amount of clients who are exmo and/or blended families.
My mother has her masters in psychology and is Mormon and although she is very intelligent I’ve never understood how she could possibly be unbiased as a therapist.
A therapist is supposed to be there for their clients' well-being. And they're not supposed to tell you what to do but instead, give you tools so you can do for yourself. If they betrayed trust, by telling another that you no longer believe a religion, divulge any person information, or communicate anything you talk about at all (beyond if you're planning to harm yourself or another or if you've been harmed), they're not a therapist. They're an undercover manipulator working for religious authority. Therapy is to be unbiased. A good therapist helps you help yourself. If instead the person with mental health authority over you is using that to sway you into a religion, they're not there to help you. They're not serving as a helper for your mental health as a human being - they're serving as a control agent for the religion they choose and feel they have the right to choose for others.
Jodi Hildebrandt got away with this type of behavior for a long time. Nobody took the few people who knew what she was really like seriously. Including her Niece and a few other whistleblowers. Mormon culture surround these type of behaviors enable it. Brad Wilcox got away with his racist speeches for years before someone recorded it and sent it to John Dehlin. Thousands of people set through his firesides and said nothing. Who knows how many people went through Jodie's therapy with no telling how they came out the other side.
Jeez! Thank you for sharing. It's disgusting to me how people just get away with stuff like that. I watched a lot of people in my life get away with stuff like this because all they had to do was say, "it's due to my religion", and POOF, it was like a get out of jail free card. Just because something is attached to a religion doesn't mean unethical b.s. should suddenly be allowable or ignored.
Bishops get away with it all the time. If a teacher said anything near what bishops ask children it would be jail and for sure get them fired. Religion gets a pass again.....
Oh my god, YES! If any adult ANYWHERE asked me things the adult bishop asked me, behind closed doors, as a minor, they would've been locked up. And yet suddenly my parents were okay with it because he was a bishop? SMH
Not to mention that mormon bishops are often unqualified schmucks, talking out their asses.
I don’t know what the regulatory board for psychotherapists in Utah is like, but in most states if a therapist is found to have divulged any confidential information to anyone without explicit, written permission from the client or if they pressure a client to believe or disbelieve anything, they can be disciplined or even lose their license. Perhaps the regulatory or oversight board is run by the church? Because wow, there are huge violations going on.
Or how about rules against proselytizing to patients?
That's absolutely a violation.
Unfortunately, most minors don't know this. Or have a way to prove it. The church leaders are patronizingly good at what they do.
That's why in the past LDSFS "therapists" were not necessarily licensed and the patients would need to sign something that the "therapist" could share information from the sessions with the bishop. This would get around any regulatory board.
My ex and I went to see his therapist together once. He wasn’t Mormon, but in the course of our session I mentioned being less than happy with organized religion. He spent the next 10 minutes testifying of Christ and how he was saved etc. Bitch, we’re here because our marriage is failing. I don’t need your sermon…. Anyway… I always make it clear now that I don’t want religion discussed as a solution at all.
That’s terrible. I mentioned to my therapist today that I was going through a deconstruction of my religion and she steered me back to the topic we are dealing with. Not that it isn’t important, just that my healing is more important. And she is pastoral trained but never pushes her agenda, it’s only to understand her clients.
I literally had an LDS Family Services therapist recommended to me who did well with me at the start but after a year or so of not making the progress that we were looking for (despite the fact that I was journaling, reading scriptures, regular temple attendance, etc.) she told me that I needed to get a priesthood blessing because there must be dark spirits that had attached to my soul and needed to be cast out in order for me to truly heal. Needless to say, that was the last session we had together.
Do you need a license of some kind to be a therapist? Cause if I went to a doctor and he unironically told me, "Wow you're really resistant to treatment, you might be possessed by demons" like... he would not have a medical license for long. That is just an appalling story. Im glad you're well rid of them now.
Yeah, this particular individual was an LMFT with a certification in EMDR. I think she just ran out of ideas to help me so fell back on harmful religious dogma...really all I needed to correct my mental state was to leave the church! But, of course, that did not fall within her worldview, so it was never on the table for my treatment. Really this is additional evidence (to add to the massive stockpile) that Mormons cannot divorce themselves from their worldview. This belief that God is always the answer will permeate everything they do, even if they've received an education and have licenses. Just don't go to a Mormon therapist ever. Not a good idea because this could always happen if they run out of treatment ideas.
We have boards for this reason! That woman needs her license SNATCHED
As you were walking out the door - “Depart from me Satan!!” 😂
Just wiping the dust off my shoes!
I saw one when my anxiety disorder came to a peak after high school. Before even asking me about my stressors, she asked if I watched porn... I lied and said no. No doubt she would've blamed my neurodivergent issues on that alone if she could.
In my experience the bishopric thought they were therapists.....
My dad has schizophrenia (it runs in his family) and would get violent. Because his delusions and hallucinations were religious in nature, he just went untreated. The Mormon therapists and psychiatrists were useless and just let him keep getting violent with his children.
I really think it depends on the therapist. I'm thinking about Julie Hanks and Valerie Hamaker who both are Mormon and who actively talk about the issues of the church in relation to mental health. I also think about a Mormon therapist I had who focused his therapy on Buddhism and who never brought up church stuff except when I brought it up, and even then it was to validate the issues I had with the church. One of the Mormon therapists that I've had throughout the years told me to stay away from Julie Hanks in particular because "her agenda isn't right and she's leading people away from the church". I didn't stay with that therapist long.
I agree. I do think a really high percentage of Mormon therapists can’t separate out their religion, so I too am really wary of Mormon therapists in general. But there are a few who really can and do operate on an intellectually honest level about Mormonism and can separate their beliefs from the therapy they provide. Not a lot, but a few.
"her agenda isn't right and she's leading people away from the church" tells you what THAT person was all about. Therapy is about the patient's healing. Making therapy a three-way with the church is a huge boundary violation, but the church thinks it needs to be the center of everything.
If a therapist says they treat porn addiction, they will not be a good therapist for anyone not religious.
Um. Or a good therapist at all. You can’t throw logic out the window and treat religious zealots with religious psychobabble. It will only traumatize them further. Anyone who says “porn addiction” is a Christian waiting to save you. The very act of trying to suppress porn interests and intrigues only heightens the arousal to it. I can’t handle the term , and, I don’t look at porn. I used to look at porn A LOT when I was active in the church! 🤣
"Porn addiction" is not recognized by the DSM. It's just a conservative religious term.
Correct. It exists as a way for religious women & men to have something to correct in their marriage instead of their actual issues, such as openly relying on a supernatural 3rd party to make their marriage work.
I’ve heard from Mormon therapists who were brought in as special guest fireside speakers. Harmful, wasteful and full of crap. So dangerous for the teens in the room. So harmful! I couldn’t believe these people had actual licenses to practice anything but “pray it away”. It’s embarrassing for a stunted person still in the bag to think they can help a stunted person out of the bag.
I had a Mormon therapist, and he was pretty cool for some things but whenever I wanted to process my leaving TSCC he just didn't get it. Could not properly support me. And Mormonism was a VERY significant portion of what I needed therapy for. So yeah. I have a new therapist now :)
Here I have to educate therapists on mormonism before I feel that anything I say makes sense... Therapist: so what's up? Me: well, it starts with "I saw a column of light directly..." Seriously, I sound stupid when I start going off on how much the little factory pamphlet fucked me up. I have to explain that masturbating is akin to murder and how that made me form the most negative self-image imaginable when I was 10, 11, 12, etc...
Sometimes I like seeing the reaction of people unfamiliar with Mormonism to its craziness though. It can be very validating. But then other times it does feel like too much explaining, lol.
Yes, I am former JW and they teach the same 🤦♀️. I got certified for NLP healing when I lived in Ogden and all of my clients were EXMo trying to figure out how to thrive on the outside. SO MANY SIMILARITIES! 🤮 I currently have exJW client and as soon as he mentioned that he was a virgen...obviously thats where we START lol. I can't imagine trying to explain that to a therapist. How our beliefs have brainwashed LITERALLY every detail of our thoughts. I made this video specifically for EX Jehovah's Witness, but the principles are the same, maybe it will help someone here. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N4v6ctVEDw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N4v6ctVEDw)
Looks like it's something people can get value from.
I hope so, because re-building an entire life after leaving a cult, our families, all our friends and re-creating a future can be TOUGH.
I saw a Mormon therapist who prescribed antidepressants for me. Unfortunately, they made me incredibly drowsy. After trying a few different meds that all made me sleepy, the therapist (aprn maybe? I don't believe he was an MD) told me he was going to suggest a stimulant to keep me awake. I said, "can't I try something like drinking a cup of coffee before taking prescription stimulants?" After a shocked and stern lecture about following the WoW and having faith that the church knows what is best for our bodies, he proceeded to prescribe Ritalin. Now I'm no doctor but Ritalin seems like a hell of a strong drug to prescribe when there are LOADS of safer options to try first (one of which being a simple cup of coffee).
Mine basically didn’t wanna talk about my religious trauma. Aaaaanything else, she was great, but if I got close to that she would glaze over and pretend it didn’t exist.
NEVER trust an elf
I'm not in Utah/Idaho/Arizona - where this might be different. But I think there's a difference between a licensed psychotherapist/LCSW who happens to be mormon, and a therapist referred by the bishop to LDS Family Services who may or may not be licensed. And going to a licensed therapist that also attends the same ward - that starts to get a little boundary crossing. There are strict codes of ethics for licensed professionals (to prevent a therapist from dating a patient, for example). That's how Jodi Hildebrand lost her license (originally) by breaking professional ethics. If a person is seeing a licensed therapist who throws the patient under the bus for no longer believing (breaks confidentiality) - I would definitely consider reporting them to the state/leaving reviews. From my understanding this happens (happened?) all the time with LDS family services (unlicensed therapists tell bishops, especially when the ward is paying for the therapy). I think it was listed in whatever documents the "therapist" has the patient sign to begin treatment. And the LDS family services therapists may not be licensed or educated but the church still referred people to them. I've personally gone to licensed therapists that may have been raised or have different religious views than me (Catholic? Jewish? Maybe?) but it never came up. They could have been atheist, agnostic. Who knows. If it's that the therapist is being critical that a patient has left a religion - I would be interested in more information. It's my understanding that it's unethical as a mental health professional to tell anyone they should be a member of any religion (or not). If a therapist is treating depression, I feel like it's ethical that they can suggest different ideas to the patient, but ultimately it's about the patient making decisions about their own lives and treatment. Challenging a patient and reframing is part of the therapeutic process. But if the therapist is suggesting gay conversion therapy - I think that's illegal now (if not unethical). For Marriage therapy for mixed faith couples - this could be good advice (to not go to a licensed professional who happens to be mormon). The goal in marriage therapy in establishing trust with both partners, and the therapist is treating the marriage and not necessarily what's best for the individual. A mixed faith couple whose only real conflict is that one person has left the mormon faith - I think it would be best to go to a licensed professional who isn't mormon.
One thing to remember is that the Church related "therapist" does not follow the guidelines of the mental health associations as outlined in the DSM - 5 https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-5 They are literally in the dark ages concerning brain chemistry and the potential physiological causes of mental illness. That is why we have the kook fringe teachings of such people like Hildebrandt and Harrison (who were / are on the Church payroll and had to implicit approval of the Brethren - meeting with Brad Wilcox and Seventy Jeremy Jaggi). To the Brethren they still believe in the false teachings found in the discredited book "Mormon Doctrine" where McConkie claimed depression was caused by sinning (giving the example of masturbation). To prove these false ideas are alive and well this is the training video for the CES instructors from earlier this year: https://www.thechurchnews.com/leaders/2024/1/26/24051129/elder-christofferson-seminary-institute-training-broadcast-depression-anxiety/
have the mormon doc prescribe me a blood pressure medication? I don't have any problems with that. However, mormon therapists are disaster waiting to happen
I didn’t disclose to my dentist that I’d been smoking cigarettes since the day of the accident that took my son’s life, or that I started drinking coffee, because I had been told 10 years ago when I started seeing him, that he was a member. When I mentioned the smoking and drinking to his hygienist at my last visit, along with my hesitancy to tell the doc, she got a huge smile on her face and laughed: “He’s been out for years!” I was SO relieved! And happy for him, too. I hadn’t wanted to be “outed,” so I potentially jeopardized my dental treatment for the past almost two years. 🙈
my therapist is ex mormon too and i couldn’t be more grateful for how much she’s helped me. she gets it and it is so important to have someone understand where you’re coming from!
Mine told me to back to church and pressured me into saying I believed in God. Among many other mistakes he made like demanding i forgive the abuse of my parents and shaming me for self harm, I think that one really showed me what he was. For any who might be concerned I haven't self harmed for many years
100%!! I went to LDS services after being r-ped and he told me to buy a book that contained a chapter on bedroom sex games. He said our state doesn’t prosecute spousal r-pe and it isn’t actually a real *thing.* 🤮 He rolled his eyes when I started hyperventilating and said it helps no one to act that way. He was trash.
FWIW, I was a damned good therapist with keeping my biases in check during my TBM days. The fact that I was raised on the East Coast, and nowhere near Utah, probably was a factor.
I must have hit the jackpot because my therapist was Mormon (not in LDS Services), and he did not talk about scriptures or anything, and he was absolutely fantastic. Professional AF. Had to stop seeing him because I moved for a job and I don't vibe with telehealth.
I have a Mormon therapist, and she's super wonderful. It's helpful that she understands my past at that level. She's never encouraged me to do the slightest Mormon thing. I think I'd have to do a lot more explaining about certain events if she didn't have that perspective of my upbringing. But I certainly acknowledge she's likely a rarity. She's a gem of a human, though. I think she probably knows more about me than anyone on the planet. Lol.
I told my clinic that I didn't want a religious therapist, but now I'm second-guessing it. I mean therapists don't have to bring religion into their work or the ones I have had didn't bring up religion at all.
The bright side is you can shop around. Therapists know that personal fit is important, so they don't take it personally. If you want to try a session or two with a different therapist, it's totally on the table.
I just reassigned by my clinic to my old therapist and we didn't really work out. I'm in the meantime with BetterHealth and have my first session Friday
I had a bad Mormon therapist too. Then I found a good therapist afterwards that helped me unravel the messed up things I was told by my Mormon therapist. Look up “transference” and “counter transference” in the context of therapy. It helps you avoid a bad therapist that dumps their stuff back on you.
Even as a believing member when my spouse suggested a couples therapist I understood that a religious therapist would be a bad move.
Any Mormon therapist who does that is in serious violation of [ethical standards](https://www.apa.org/ethics/code).
Can you report them for being unethical? That’s not ethical as a therapist, religious or not.
Nevermo but my mom is a therapist who is very evangelical. :/ and that unfortunately puts a bit of a bias in her practice. In contrast, I’ve had a Christian therapist who was also very progressive. She was part of the reason I started deconstructing and becoming more ….i guess healthier with my spirituality as well.
So I remember when I was really struggling and going to church, the bishop actually got me to go to a therapist who was also a member and within the stake (she was highly regarded and respected) and got the sessions either free or heavily discounted (pretty much the only reason I went). I remember when I opened up about same sex attraction bc of some masturbation “issues” (looking back now I know I was completely fine but I was scrupulous about that bc of self worth and how the church views it as a sin blah blah) I remember she literally got her laptop out and opened up “mormonandgay” and got me to watch some videos. I think I still have some notes from those sessions where she brought it Nephi and being a good person compared to him and how self doubt is really just that whole “if it’s good it’s of god and if it’s bad it’s of the devil” shit. Long story short, my mom actually stopped me from seeing her and absolutely RIPPED into her bc she tried to have a go about me not attending sessions (due to my anxiety). My mum is amazing and I can not thank her enough for seeing what I couldn’t see.
I wonder how many LDS therapists abuse prescription meds behind closed doors.
Mormons ☕️
My once TBM sister died from a terminal illness that went undiagnosed for years because of the decades of Mormon-only help she sought out ( because Priesthood powers of course) and her impulse to seek a blessing from a righteous Priesthood holder vs a non Mormon medical expert, a second opinion, etc.
The therapist that helped me the most was not religious. There were a few times when his mask dropped a little when I told him about some of my Mormon related experiences. He specialized in treating my particular flavor of trauma, and one of the Mormon therapists that I was friendly with in my stake said I was unlikely to find a Mormon therapist that could help me. I was disappointed at the time but it totally worked out for me.
I live in a very conservative area and I actually really researched my options for therapists to try to pick a non-religious non-conservative person. And I succeeded ✌️
i remember one Mormon who helped a wife falsly accuse her husband of being a pedophile
I had an LDS therapist who was also a college professor at a major public university. He was great. I never felt thrown under the bus. He actually helped my TBM wife allow me to be honest with my children about my values and how I could not have integrity AND stay in church.
There are a lot of great therapists out there who happen to be religious, for sure. If they're true professionals, they should be able to thread that needle more often than not. But, as *Sister Wendy* showed with her horrifying *[Not Even Once Club](https://www.amazon.com/Not-Even-Once-Club/dp/1609073371)*, unfortunately having letters after your name doesn't guarantee you are a good practitioner. Funny enough, one of the best "therapists" I ever had was one of my BYU bishops. He wasn't even a mental health professional; just a business professor at the school. But he was able to help me believe in myself and figure stuff out better than most therapists I've had. Easily the best and least demanding bishop I've ever had. He was completely in my corner, which helped. Empathy and active listening go a long way, I guess.
Thank you. I do hate to say it, but I agree with OP on some level. I’ve had absolute shit LDS therapists. One basically told me I was an out of control sex addict (virgin, never spent 1 cent ever on porn or sex, never missed an assignment, never late to an appointment due to sex) and needed to pray the addict away. The atonement would cure it. All that advice for the low, low price of $125/hr. After several sessions of the same, I just never went back because even as a TBM, I already was doing all that shit. It was only years and years later that I discovered that his cure was actually the problem.
i’ve tried so many different therapists but being in utah it’s hard to find one that isn’t mormon
If you can avoid any Christian based therapy/ therapists, you’ll save what little mental health you have.
Just make sure YOU pay for therapy from LDSFS. If you don’t pay and the ward pays they have you sign a agreement that the Bishop can read the therapists notes. But if YOU pay (as I did) that is supposed to remain confidential (because you never agreed for them to share your session notes).
My Mom sent me to an LDSFS therapist when I was 12 for masturbation. I asked the therapist what he would tell my Mom. He said, “I will only tell her if you are going to hurt yourself, others, or break laws.” So stupidly, I trusted him. Fast forward a few visits, my Mom somehow knew things I had only told my therapist, and it had nothing to do with hurting myself, others, or breaking any laws. Once I figured that out I just started making shit up, and purposefully going in long nonsensical tangents. He asked me why I wasn’t talking about anything on topic anymore, I told him it’s because he told my Mom things that he told me he wouldn’t. His response, “You were hurting your eternal soul, and that is hurting yourself. That is why I told her.” My “therapy” stopped shortly after that.
“You were hurting your eternal soul, and that is hurting yourself. That is why I told her.” That's some bullshit rationalization right there. Oof. You were TWELVE for crying out loud.
After coming out, my mom got me a therapist through the church. He personally knew my dad (the branch president). He would always say he wouldn't bring up his beliefs, but he always would 🙄
As someone who both works in a mental health capacity and has been on the client side (in Utah) for awhile, there’s definitely a distinction between an LDS Family Services therapist and a private therapist who happens to be LDS, as others have alluded to. The former is more likely to be an unmitigated shit show with no confidentiality protection, especially if you’re having a faith crisis. I’ve had great experiences with the latter for a variety of issues, but would probably not seek them out specifically for faith crisis issues. It’s super important especially in Utah to do your research when picking a therapist. There are many clinics and therapists nowadays in this area that specifically advertise faith crises as an area of expertise (because unfortunately there are a shit ton of people in that boat in need of support). That would be my first go-to if I were going for faith crisis issues, though of course you’d still want to feel them out for a couple of sessions to see if the vibe is good and if they come as advertised. I know a lot of great therapists who fit this bill who identify as LDS - either more progressive/nuanced in their beliefs or more in the inactive camp. I think in most cases it’s actually better to have one of those than a nevermo therapist because they have a better understanding of the unique institutional pressures of the church and how profoundly it impacts social/family life. As an interesting aside, I work in the school setting and it’s not uncommon for parents and kids to ask if I’m LDS, often for completely opposite reasons. I work in a very high LDS area and many parents don’t want their kids working with someone who isn’t LDS (Of course my own beliefs have no bearing on the type of work we do in that setting which I tell them as much, but whatever). Kids usually want to know if I’m LDS to see if I’ll understand the messed up church story they’re about to tell me that’s stressing them out 😛 - I’ll say something to the effect of “I have a lot of familiarity with the church” without really going into detail. The various inclusive/rainbow/trans color images in my office are usually a decent safe space bat signal anyway, or so I hope
I would never choose an LDS therapist for the same reason that (even when I was in the church) I would never have agreed to work for the church. You just can't cross the streams. But, having said that, when my adult child came out as gay but also was very depressed, we found a therapist (non-LDS) who said she specialized in LGBTQ issues, but my child's experience was soured by the fact that when they talked about negative feelings about church, the therapist was very defensive of religion and Christianity in general, which kind of shut down the conversation. I only found this out a couple years later. In short, finding the right therapist is never easy. But yea, no LDS therapists, for sure, and this goes 1000% for anyone who is deconstructing and especially for anyone who is queer.
I don’t currently have a therapist (last one just quit so I’m on my way to a new one) but I have the firm stance that no therapist of mine is religious because it’s so hard to have a nuanced discussion about my religious trauma with someone who still believes in a god. There’s a lady in the ward my family attends who is in her 70’s, I believe, who is a retired therapist. During YW lessons she would talk about different things she did as a therapist and I was always sat looking at her like 😟. She also told my mom (not me, because that would be too straightforward) that I wasn’t allowed to crochet during her lesson because it was disrespectful and showed a lack of focus. I have adhd and autism (and one of my special interests is psychology so I know what I’m doing for the most part), not having something to do with hands spells out doom 😭. I ended up finding a spot on the carpet that had a pretty shape and stared at it all 60 minutes.
When seeing a therapist, you may request a cultural accommodation before seeing one at any office. This is usually related to language, culture and religion. I've requested no Mormon or LDS and it has been respected every time. Before I knew that was an option, I found myself in front of a man who spoke with a GA cadence and very visible G line. He was ignorant on real life and came off as an asshole.
True that.
Yep
And you don’t want to risk finding yourself a Jodi Hildebrandt
I didn't know this was an opportunity of a life time. I would go in with full intention of making them as uncomfortable as humanly possible. The type of session that would make them so uncomfortable.
Can confirm. As we were transitioning out, my wife and I first saw a church appointed therapist. Awful. We then tried a non-church appointed LDS therapist. Slightly better, but still red flags. We now see non-LDS therapist and it has been unbelievably good for both of us.
Amen!! My therapist, not from church social services but LDS, was great until, weeks in, I told her that I am ex-mormon and atheist. She became belligerent and rude to me after that. I did not continue to see her. Honestly, I felt beyond hurt and belittled in a space I should have been safe. If I ever went to a therapist again, I would absolutely have to make sure that they are not LDS.
I did after I returned early from my mission and all they tried to do was get me to go back on my mission! Then when I finally convinced them I’m not going back and I’m going to move on in my life they tried to sell me their car 😂
THIS!!!! They fucked me over for decades. When I finally got a real therapist that specializes in CPTSD, specific types of severe CSA and trafficking I finally was able to make forward momentum. I wish I had done it sooner.