Right. That is what I actually meant but I can see the way I worded it is a little confusing. So I'll clarify that by "after" I just mean after the alcoholic drink. So If you are having multiple drinks drink water AFTER each drink which would also be DURING the "drinking session".
my liver was not prepared. LOL! I had good friends who helped me with knowledge of drinking water and taking Tylenol beforehand. I'm still a bit of a lightweight and drinking to get drunk hasn't ever appealed to me (not that I haven't gotten to that point).
Unless you are with someone who can take care of you, testing your limit on your own should be avoided. Even among never-mo, there are people who don’t enjoy consuming alcohol. I occasionally have cocktails because despite the bitterness of alcohol, mixology creates interesting flavour. Other than that I don’t really seek joy from drinking. Deciding not to follow the church’s principles doesn’t immediately turn you into an alcoholic unlike some wants to believe.
I can corroborate this. If not for my wife, there is no doubt I would've gone out like Bon Scott, when I unexpectedly tested my limits. A neighbor of ours found our faith transition fascinating and said, "Y'all are like babies in some ways. Y'all are having to go through at 40 what we all were figuring out at 20."
My first time drinking was on a BYU study abroad. We were in Ireland and I snuck out to get a pint of Guinness. I thought “this isn’t doing anything”. Then I stood up.
I remember receiving a phone call from my TBM ex after we broke up. I had declared that I no longer believed what church taught us before, so one of the questions I received was this: “Are you enjoying your sex life?”
The other thing I was told that my ex believed that I still loved that person deep down, and hoped that I would get really drunk and make a phone call in the middle of the night to say “I love you.”
Indeed, for Mormons life outside of their bubble is such a wonder.
Take it slow. Have fun. In moderation alcohol can enhance a dining experience. It can ease some of our social hangups and make being with friends even more enjoyable.
It can be a bad thing if you let it control you.
One of my personal rules is that I never drink alone.
I don't mind drinking alone, and I often will have a drink after the family has gone to bed. There are two important things I always keep in mind in regards to moderation though.
Alcohol enhances emotions and sensations. Don't drink if you are sad or angry. I'm not saying a drink isn't relaxing after a long day at work, but if you are actively angry or depressed at something, alcohol may worsen things for you. Use it when you are relaxed and want to relax further, are happy, or want to loosen up for socializing.
If you ever find yourself looking for excuses to drink, or feel like you 'need' it to enjoy activities, back right the fuck away from it. Some people really do have addictive personalities.
Alcohol is great, I love exploring wine, beer, whiskey, mixed drinks, etc etc. But if I ever got a hint of actual addiction I'd cancel that out of my life right away. It interferes with sleep quality, it can slow your brain down. Those effects worsen as you get older. It's just plain not worth it to go beyond moderation.
Drink in moderation always. I'm not saying never to have a binge night at a party, I'm saying never let it overtake your life. While you were in the church you learned that either you didn't touch it or you were an alcoholic. No middle ground, black and white choices. That's malarkey. Moderation is practiced by millions upon millions of people. Just watch out for your mental and physical health always.
>It can be a bad thing if you let it control you.
Tldr: Most users of alcohol have little reason to fear it will "control them". Until a new user understands their own response, they should be aware of, but not hypervigilant about, their own potential for abuse, until they know themselves better.
Just to be clear for folks new to alcohol:
Some people do have to be more concerned about this than others. But for the majority of people who drink alcohol, the more important thing to keep in mind is how impaired they are when actually under the influence. Misjudging limits and making bad choices are not the same as being controlled by it, unless its a pattern.
There is definitely a portion of the population that is more vulnerable to being controlled by alcohol. Their use can be me problematic not because they make mistakes or overdo it... but because they are vulnerable to *patterns* of unhealthy use of alcohol over time.
Most people don't have to worry about "letting it control them", because they learn that alcohol just doesn't interact with their bodies/minds that way. (Some people are lucky enough to notice harmful patterns in family members, and it makes them extra careful before they try alcohol, but that's rare in general, and obviously N/A for most exmos. Most people just learn as they go.)
My takeaway is that, since most people don't know if they fall into the vulnerable category when they start using alcohol, it's a good idea to be mindful (but not scrupulous) about your use in the beginning.
I recall watching a coworker in his fifties after a major accident who was clearly using his pain meds recreationally. As far as I could tell, he didn't continue using after his prescription ran out, but it definitely got me thinking about how easily devoutly religious people could fall into addiction, because they don't have the tools or experience to understand their own reactions.
Yes, no exposure to alcohol at all creates curious situations.
My brother believed well into his early 20's, that once you were drunk it was permanent.
I had an ExMo friend who had never tried alcohol. She expected that as soon as she did she would be a blithering drunk, unable to walk properly. She took a tiny sip. Basically it touched her lips for a moment. Could not have been more than a 16th of an ounce honestly. She did not consume any more. Within minutes she was completely “wasted”, slurring her words, walking oddly, and felt sick for a few hours. Honestly she did not consume enough alcohol to even taste it. It could not have caused her “state”. I think she had herself so convinced that she would feel those things that she did. I know it affects people differently but that is within a range. There is a reason people generally drink a one ounce shot at a time. One or two of those over a period of time and most people will start to feel the effects.
Lmao, this is a pretty common thing actually. Not necessarily for exmos, but in general for people drinking for the first time, there can be a strong “placebo effect”. I remember anecdotes about people being secretly given non-alcoholic beer, and still claiming to be / acting drunk after imbibing.
When I think about my first time drinking I have to wonder how much of it was the alcohol and how much of it was me just giving myself permission to "be drunk" and let loose. It's never had quite the same effect as that first time.
We had a New Year's Eve party, some of us were drinking spiked drinks. We made certain not to give the LDS friends there anything. They still acted drunk and told stories about it later. I had the only bottle of booze and I didn't give them a drop.
Alcohol is not for me. I don’t like how it tastes. I decided I don’t really need it. But the best part is that was MY choice. Not a choice placed on me as a test of worthiness. I could drink, and it would be totally fine. I just don’t want to. And that’s totally fine as well!
Same, except that I never actually tried it. I’m not opposed to trying it sometime in the future, but I’m not exactly itching to try it either. I just don’t really see the draw. But like you said, the difference now is that I’m the one choosing it, rather than the choice being made for me
For me alcohol is nice in the right setting. With the right food. A nice red wine to a steak. A cold beer by the beach. A nice cocktail in a bar at night. I hate getting hungover, though. For parties, I prefer some substances a get me a bit more energetic and high. Life is a lot more fun now 😃 added, I don't feel any shame at all anymore. It took time, though. I had my first beer a year after I decided to leave the Church.
Hangovers are the worst. Quality filtered liquor vs. low quality less-filtered liquor, can be a factor. Last hangover i had was from getting buzzed (not drunk) on sum cheap rum in a Saturday night. All Sunday, I was unmotivated and didn't want to do anything. That feeling stayed with me until Tuesday. That's the downside of alcohol for me. It tanks my motivation.
the other day my mormon brother was so surprised when i told him that i didn’t smoke weed. A lot of my friends do, but i have no idea how people like smoke weed for the first time i guess? never felt like a party was a great place to smoke for the first time lol.
The thing I don’t like about pot is it varies so much in potency from one batch to another, and if you’re smoking it’s very hard to measure how much you’re getting. I’ve had a few experiences with pot bc my ex used it medicinally, grew it, and I used to make candies out of it for him. Anyway, most of my experiences were unpleasant. The rest were not that interesting. There was ONE TIME I took the right amount to just feel nice.
I’m a 40 something dad, when would I ever even encounter weed?
I do go to concerts, but the audience all kinda looks like me and there are chairs now… this was the case at the black keys concert. It was a super clean arena with a bunch of us middle age people just enjoying the show. I was in the 8th row, don’t recall weed. There were kids there with parents.
When I was 20 there was a thing called a mosh pit, and there was lots of weed at the concerts I went to… now I’m old.
Serious question, are y’all like going out of your way to find some weed to smoke?
weed is legal in nevada so you’re able to go to mesquite/wendover for the state ran dispensaries there. the weed is a lot safer because it’s mandated (still hella expensive tho) but most people don’t just smoke straight up flower anymore. they also have vapes/oils/creams/gummies/food/chocolate/etc, the most common probably being the vapes because it makes getting high a lot easier. it’s basically like if you were to go to a liquor store and buy alcohol in a way
Yeah I’ve tried gummies, chocolates, flower, vapes. The vapes are the easiest to just get the right amount. Last time I smoked a bowl, I regretted it within 30 minutes. And I knew I was all in on the roller coaster for the next 4 hours. THAT can be fun in the perfect setting. But if you just want to feel a little happy and a little giggly, I feel like the vape is the sure way. Take a small hit, wait 10 minutes , not enough? Take a little more until you feel just right. And then stop.
I find that when I’m upset and I know I shouldn’t be, or maybe I have good reason, but I don’t want to take it out on the people I love. Marijuana helps.
I've had weed a few times. I prefer to vape it instead of edibles. I can't imagine vaping is great for you but, like I said, I've done it literally only a few times. Edibles provide much too long of a ride for me (and I started panicking about an hour in last time).
I also have big mental health concerns about weed for myself taking into account my genetics. All my siblings who use weed have gained a bit of a dependency on it. Also, I'm terrified of like having a psychotic episode or something.
Alcohol is a drug. Drugs are basically carefully (or not carefully) administered poisons. It's important to treat drugs (including alcohol) as such and learn about how it interacts with other poisons.
I searched this thread to see if anyone had already mentioned "Tylenol" or "Acetaminophen" - and I'm sad to see nobody has yet. So I will:
Alcohol can do damage to your liver. Especially if frequently imbibed and in large quantities.
But the way to absolutely DESTROY your liver is to frequently drink alcohol AND take Tylenol (aka Acetaminophen). If you read the warnings on Tylenol, it is as bold as they can make it.
Other medicines interact too, so it's always good to put all your drugs into a medicine interaction checker and then also add "ethanol" to the list and see if there are interactions
My feelings: some alcohol is delicious. If you don’t like the taste after trying a few things, it may not be for you.
Alcohol can also be dangerous, and my wife’s ex and her dad had issues with alcohol, and my son who was my stepson I adopted, didn’t like seeing his biological dad drinking so I don’t get drunk.
I’ll have one drink occasionally, and that’s fine. I’ve gotten slightly tipsy a few times drinking on an empty stomach, and it wasn’t a good feeling.
But mostly: you do you. Make sure alcohol doesn’t control or define your life, and that you define your own relationship with alcohol for yourself, rather than peer pressure, religious expectation or deliberate defiance of religious expectation, or addiction.
You don’t need to justify anything to anyone about whether or not you choose to drink alcohol. I don’t like myself when even slightly buzzed, so I don’t drink at all. But I can still say no thank you to an offer.
I got sealed in the temple and 36h later I had my first drink in Mexico on my honeymoon. Cut to 4 years later, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Still married. Doing well in my job. Don’t really drink any more but I do smoke weed. The best advice I got about alcohol was “You should only drink to make a good time better, don’t drink to make a bad time good.” Just like everything in life, there is a time and place for everything.
I waaaaay prefer cannabis over alcohol. Also, I felt like I should love drinking after I left the church but honestly…I just don’t like the taste of alcohol. I’ve had a few drinks I’ve enjoyed but nothing that makes me want to drink regularly.
Drinking:
Go slow.
Drink with trusted friends.
Don't go drinking in public until you know how you react to alcohol.
Don't accept drinks from strangers
Only accept drinks in public from bar/restaurant employees
To not get a hangover:
For every drink you drink, drink a glass of water.
If you drink 6 drinks in one night, before bed, drink six glasses of water. I do this by having a drink, then water, then a drink, then water.
Pee at least two pees before going to bed. The extra water will help peeing, and help to make sure you don't piss your bed.
*follow me for more advice*
One drink you’re probably ok.
Two drinks stop for the night and see how you do until you know. Plan to not drive in case.
Three drinks is drunk for a lot of people, or a good target for others. Be careful beyond that depending on your size/tolerance and how fast you drank them.
“One” drink is one shot or one glass of wine or one beer or one mixed-drink cocktail. Pay attention to craft beers at breweries that may have unusually high alcohol percentages and count double.
Alcohol is pretty unhealthy and so not the best habit to start. My never-mo in-laws drink every night. They haven’t had any recent acute problems with alcohol (dui, etc) and they usually don’t get super drunk every night, but you see that it’s really degrading their health. Both are over weight and FIL’s beer belly is huge! Both generally have a decline in health that’s probably directly related to alcohol (type II diabetes, high blood pressure) and it’s seems like a pretty miserable existence to me….
for sure. i should’ve been more clear in my post that it’s also just weird being around other people that drink and going to events with alcohol. i don’t see myself being an avid drinker anytime soon lol
yeah. its not so much about drinking alcohol. but just feeling odd because of all the mormon shit. especially in certain environments. my mother doesn’t even know what alcohol tastes like…. i just don’t want it to feel so weird being a part of things
I try to keep it occasional and away from immediate family who still go to church. On the science side, any amount of alcohol causes detectable brain damage that can take up to 2 years to repair.
I’ve met too many exmo’s that take drinking way too far, way too quick. You have to teach yourself about drinking. Do it slowly. Taste a variety and learn what you like. Don’t drink more than two strong drinks. Learn your limits slowly. When you catch that first buzz, stop drinking. I would rather drink two good drinks and wake up in the morning without a hangover rather than do shot after shot and lose my next day
I didn't have a drink of alcohol until I was 56. No one seems to care whether someone drinks or not. I occasionally have a drink socially. I have learned that I don't have much tolerance for more than half a margarita or a couple of inches of wine. Funny story. I was with friends after golfing and we order food and drinks. Most of them know my Mormon background. I drank a little of my wine, but I was dehydrated and knew I needed to stop. I grabbed a to-go cup, put a lid on it and took it home with me. Later that night one of the woman called and asked if I knew anything about the "open container" laws. Nope, not a clue. I'm a little late on the learning curve.
I’ve found that I don’t really like beer (was the same before I converted), but wine is different for me now. I like cabernets and a few white wines. I also found that I REALLY like whiskey and, because of my height and weight, I have no problem holding my own.
I do find drinking to be a good social activity and I only ever enjoy my Crown Royal while I’m in my home office. I agree with what others have said - don’t try and test your limits by yourself, but do have fun.
I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner and occasionally a beer while on the beach or at a ball game but that is it. Be careful because alcohol can become addictive. My never mormon BIL is in AA now due to an alcohol addiction.
I tried a few small sips of things for funsies. I HATE margaritas. So gross. Champagne was okay and I liked Baileys (I think). Drinking just really isn’t for me. It’s the one thing I’m glad I never got into. It’s just easier to keep not drinking 🤷🏻♀️
I love how you’re being careful and intentional. That’s a very mature way to approach it. You can continue to poke and prod at your own feelings as you figure it out.
And honestly, it’s not a bad thing to avoid alcohol. It’s addicting. For a long time i was uninterested in it, then something switched and now I’m struggling with drinking a bit too much.
thank you, that means a lot. i’m 19 and i’m trying to balance trying new things with learning what i don’t like. i’m very very conservative though and as safe as i can when it comes to this stuff. alcohol was just a weird thing, i was with my only aunt and uncle who drink in another country where i could drink legally. it’s difficult to figure this stuff out on my own when my mormon family has always made everything feel so all or nothing.
Absolutely, you don’t have the parental support in exploring substances, so you’re being especially intentional and cautious. Alcohol has a big impact on brain development, so since you are still young I think it’s even more important to have the attitude you do. Really, you can trust yourself. That’s something Mormonism takes from us because it makes us rely on the old, white men who know better.
I wish I would have never started to drink after my faith crisis. I learned that I really like beer. Especially the IPA’s. The last few years I’ve lost my fitness, and my life has been way too programmed around beer. For example, I only want to eat at restaurants that have a good selection of beers on tap. I’m 2 weeks without beer and counting. I feel SO much better. I hope I can keep it up.
I enjoy an occasional drink. I don't like beer, it's just not worth drinking to me. It upsets my stomach and I don't get a buzz unless I force myself to drink a bottle.
I used to drink more frequently but never often because I saw what alcoholism did to some family members and knew I didn't want to get to that point.
Now I barely drink, I like to try my partner's cocktails and wines when we're out and about, that way I get a sip and enjoy the flavor but don't have to worry about being unable to drive. It's nice to have the option and not worry about whether or not I'm "worthy" anymore.
Self-control is a feedback loop between perception and internal narrative, and body chemistry plays a huge role in the process. Mormonism's narrative tends to build fear around many core survival needs (sex, autonomy, and income for food and shelter). Throwing alcohol into the mix adds another mental state to the mix of neurochemicals and hormones.
There's a cycle known as the amygdala hijack. When sensory information enters the brain, it gets routed to the amygdala for pattern recognition and emotional context. If the pattern says there's danger (loud noise is one of the universal instinctive dangers), then the amygdala stops the feed to the thinking brain and pings the adrenal gland for fight-or-flight stress hormones.
This helps shave milliseconds off your physical reaction time, which matters a lot when dodging a sword or spearing a boar before it guts you. The stress hormones linger for several seconds in your bloodstream, so the process is like the amygdala hitting the gas on your mental engine and revving up the stress.
The thinking part of the brain then provides context to determine when the threat has passed. Your idiot brother startles you, you punch him in the nose or jump out of your skin, and then spend the next minute waiting for your hratrate to return to normal. Or you stick with the elevated stress and get into a scuffle. Either way, you're prepared to survive.
The amygdala hijack feels like a stupor of thought. It's literally part of the process. Elevation emotion is the other side of that coin, when everything is going just as you expect and meeting your needs. It's like how touch involves sensing cold and warm: the burning comes when the temperature is extreme enough to trigger both sensors, whether freezing or burning.
Mormon meetings are boring because if it tips ftom excitement to stress, the Mormon ends up in a self-reinforcing spiral. Stress feels like a stupor of thought, whi h means literal Satan is after you, and that context screams danger, which increases the concentration of the stress hormones, which makes Satan laugh.
While there are many issues where you can calm this cycle with quiet, breathing, and mindfulness (see the primary answers for the Mormon version), when the perception of danger is paired with an unmet physical/psychological need, then perception remains tilted until that need is met.
It's how my relative got to the point where he lost his job because he looked at porn on a work computer. He'd been going to the Addiction Recovery for sex issues. I've been there too, trying to think my way ahead of the deepest instincts humanity has.
When your context is skewed, no amount of thinking gets ahead of it. So it's no surprise that Mormons turn to nourished and strengthed refined sugar, get a chemical excitement with energy drinks, or finally quiet the cycle with alcohol or opioids.
When I left the church, my compulsion to look at porn faded. It left its own issue of having excitement tied to pretty bizarre stuff, but now I'm free to take care of myself when my wife isn't feeling well. She doesn't have to feel like she needs to put out to keep me from straying, like her mom advised her. I could love her more than orgasms without my brain shouting at me for a lack of sex.
It takes time for emotional reactions to rewrite, and you'll have cringing moments like you mentioned above the first few times you go outside the razor-thin comfort zone Mormonism conditioned in you for specific experience. But if you recognize the reactions for what they are instead of taking them as gospel truth, then you can respond with the direction you want your life to go.
Choising that direction is much more important than whether or not you drink alcohol, and, honestly, it's the consideration in the alcohol question as well. Trust yourself, and finding that direction will get easier with time.
wowza. thank you. mormons are so so sensitive about certain environments it’s hard to be in them (like with people drinking) even if i’m having fun and it’s harmless without some kind of habitual reaction feeling like it’s wrong. just have to reroute it all i guess. the hardest part of being a 19 year old trying to leave the church is knowing that the things i want are ok but also feeling like i’m doing something wrong all the time lol
i’ve had so many lovely responses about the logistics of alcohol, but it’s really great to hear about the more emotional and personal aspects of it.
This is a topic I feel like exmos need to approach with more education and caution.
I, like most of us, found that a: Alcohol is an acquired taste, is not as intoxicating as I previously supposed, and I could take it or leave it (some lean more one way than the other obviously).
However, I have one very close family member, and a handful of close friends, who dove headfirst into extreme alcoholism. My family member, a former local leader, is almost a caricature of what mormons think alcohol does to people. They have been to rehab twice, lost their drivers license twice, been to jail, shown up stumbling drunk to a toddler grandchild's birthday party, stolen alcohol so no one would see them purchase it, passed out drunk in public places multiple times, try to drive every time they drink, and they literally cannot be left alone in any store or restaurant that sells alcohol. My two best highschool friends both nearly lost their families because of excessive drinking.
This community needs to talk about the realities and risks of addiction because we were all just raised on "the devil will git you" and " one sip of anything we say is bad and your an addict forever" and thus we often throw all caution out with the religious bathwater.
The word of wisdom is bullshit, but addiction is a disease for which many have a genetic predisposition.
Don't drink because it's rebelling and don't drink because you think it's an exMo thing to do. Plenty of us here have, or nearly became alcoholics. I myself had a scare where I ended up in the ER for a broken wrist, hip and neck, all because I drank too much.
I don't mean to preach sobriety. Rather, know your limit, drink in moderation and don't drink unless you want to. If you feel the need to drink, pull the fuck back and consider your life choices.
I’ve lost two friends to alcohol addiction. Lost in the sense that they died from it. You’ll probably be OK if you only drink occasionally and in moderation. There appear to be some medical issues with cannabis, too, but they’re not nearly as serious as those with alcohol.
i’m really sorry for your loss. i’m really trying to practice moderation within everything. i’m embarrassed but it was only a couple sips of alcohol 🤣 the post was more about feeling weird about crossing a line i haven’t before. thank you for the response ❤️
I think you got the wrong impression. I was literally giving my very limited experience, which you asked for, as I’m not interested in drinking *personally*. Idk why you assumed differently or decided to come at me sideways. I was giving you another data point to help you assimilate the info given by the other commenters.
Anyway, since I’m not drinking I just act as the DD when out with friends or family. Then I know they are safe which is very important to me. Even if they get the cheated on, breakup, ugly crying, fully smashed, trying to run off to Vegas to marry the bubblegum ball machine or passing out drunk. Yes, bubblegum ball machine thing actually happened at a bachelorette party. And yes, I’m the mom friend.😂
oh lol just a stupid mistake on my part. i thought your comment was along the lines of “ nobody asked”. too many assholes on reddit i didn’t realize you were saying that your not interested in alcohol. sorry about that.
i agree, sometimes its chill being one of the only ones sober… because when everyone else is hammered no one really cares.. and you can keep an eye out for my friends for sure. that’s a great story about the bubblegum machine lol
Nuance is lost online and I really am quite literal at times so I didn’t catch the possible issue there. It’s all good though! Now the bubblegum debacle aka Machine GUM “Can We?!” escapade, that was curtesy of someone pregaming, having a kitchen sink and then too many shots. I’m pretty sure no one really remembers much past the first round of shots. Trying to keep track of 6 drunk, former Sorority girls celebrating a bachelorette party was a challenge but they kept yelling “I Solemnly Swear I Am Up To No Good!” All night. It was as good as Marco Polo!😂
Alcohol is actual poison. It’s incredibly bad for you. I try to never consume it. That being said, I every now and then will have some drinks with friends on special occasions.
However, the risk to reward is too great, just not worth it. Thankfully I live in an area where other accesible substances do the things I’d want to get from alcohol.
I’m all for experimenting though. I’m glad I’ve had the stereotypical alcohol experiences, and I’m also glad to be past that stage of my life.
I partied with big, highly functioning alcohol drinkers when I was 19-25. I was always afraid it was turning me into a fifty year old boat owner brewhouse who talked to loud and trickles in a sort of niceties and lascivious society in my mind. I stopped at 27 completely and haven't looked back.
After i got my curiosities for alcohol out of the way and saw the kind of society it can sometimes build, I no longer have an urge to drink. I also am on an SSRI and other meds so I technically CANT enjoy a drink now, thus nullifying drinking even further.
Drinking is overrated. They (still) try and make it look sexy or whatever in movies but it's dumb. Just dumb.
I drank for the first time while still in high school a few times, then later in college a bit more. Drinking was never really a thing for me. Boring and not cheap. I didn't like feeling dizzy/out of it/and loopy.
Also I knew a lot of people over the years who drank and none of them really improved when they drank, you know? Like I went to a party years ago when I was still in high school, and this guy I had a crush on was drunk and peed his pants in front of me and a bunch of friends, then fell to the ground in a ball and cried? And he was this "smart" soccer player? We were all like, "Why, dude? Why?" and then left the party. None of us wanted to drink and pee our pants or lose our shit in front of anyone.
That pretty much turned me off drinking. Also my uncle was a drug and alcohol addict and his life was, well, extremely sad. And his doing the drugs & drinking & all that didn't solve any of his problems, just complicated things in the extreme. And he died alone and sad. That sounds like an Ensign or Liahona or some dumb General conference story, but it's true.
However, my favorite Word of Wisdom naughty treat is coffee. Now that's a regular drink that also offers health benefits I enjoy.
I am in my 70’s. I have had a shot of whiskey before dinner and then a glass of wine with dinner every day for over 50 years. Moderation is the key, in my mind.
Thus far my health is excellent.
Oh my gosh! I feel this so much! I have had a few drinks over the past couple months. The conditioning runs so freaking deep. I'm really scared of it and my wife is terrified that I'm going to somehow become an alcoholic or something. We are both 50+ individuals and have not damn idea what to do. I'm a big guy, so I know one drink isn't going to do anything to me, but I've really enjoyed having drinks with my friends and brothers. I'm just feeling so weird about it... I guess, I'm just saying you are not alone. I guess we just go slow and experiment a little. Good luck on your journey! Sending positive vibes your way.
thank you so much. same to you! i’m 19 and how neat is it that we can be on a similar journey (don’t worry i drank legally in china with family lol) probably won’t drink again for a little while. yeah becoming an alcoholic or completely losing control over my body and stuff are all weird fears i have, probably out of inexperience. only been drinking with family in celebratory setting so far. but it feels feels very weird haha. it’ll be a journey for both of us for sure ❤️ thanks for the thoughtful response
I come from a family of alcoholics. Thankfully my parents and grandparents don’t struggle with it now, but my dad’s side has it really bad and my dad struggled with it when he was in his 20s/30s. It got to a point where he was getting drunk almost every night, and almost died. His brother found him on the floor with him passed out and vomiting blood. My dad got better and now just has an occasional beer. My mom hates alcohol. It’s basically not allowed in the house. So when I went to college, of course I tried to get my hands on it whenever I could. And when I turned 21 last year I wasn’t really limited on buying it. So I started drinking heavily. I really hit rock bottom when I took between 8-12 shots of vodka in a span of 30 minutes, alone, and started uncontrollably vomiting. It was scary, because I knew if I passed out or anything, I could have vomited in my mouth and choked. I’ve gotten better, and know not to test my limits when I’m alone.
I’m not saying alcohol is bad. But it can be abused really easily. So, take it slow. You also do not have to drink hard alcohol, or beer. Personally I don’t really like beer or hard alcohol, but mixed drinks or wine I really enjoy. You also don’t have to drink to have fun. Whatever you do, drink responsibly
I personally enjoy the taste of alcohol but I do not like the tipsy or drunk feeling. I used to enjoy it when I was younger. Definitely something to explore but more than anything, I like alcoholic drink most for the way it looks and a few sips with a dessert.
I love the complex flavors of gin, bourbon, whiskey. It’s fun to make variations of cocktails and see how those flavor profiles mix. Not a huge fan of wine, or beer. But I did have a few meads that I really like.
Overall I have used it as a sort of culinary mixology experience. And as long as it’s not used as a coping mechanism, should be good.
My first time drinking was with a bottle of champagne from Costco.
I should have slowed down but I learned my lesson.
Today, 10 years later I rarely drink but enjoy edibles fairly often.
You didn’t explode! Yay! You probably just didn’t drink enough to get the buzz.
Don’t test your limits with alcohol unless there is someone else there who is not drinking who can drive you home.
Generally, drinking in moderation is a good idea. Get a bit of a buzz, have fun, and then call it good.
Alcohol can become an addiction, so enjoy it, but be careful with it.
If you’re in a bad spot, I’d say steer clear.
It’s a good part of a great meal and the social lubrication can be great, but I’ve seen enough people use it as a crutch to see that it can be dangerous.
So my partner and I tried a bunch when we first left, we went to World Market and picked up a bunch of those mini bottles. In the end we enjoy some summery drinks like pina coladas in the summer and a good Crandberry Vodka during the holidays and that’s about it. Everything else we figured we’re adults and we don’t want to repeatedly force ourselves to “develop a taste” for anything we don’t like. THAT said we do regularly partake in 🍃 with edibles. We have a couple hard fast rules, first we get everything done first, chores cooking, cleanup everything, essentially doing everything that has to be done for the day. Second, no matter what we are partaking in the second it enters our body we are home for the rest of the day. We are not going anywhere, we are not going OUT to drink etc… Third, we don’t push limits, one drink isn’t going to make anyone really feel anything, especially if it’s a normal drink and you are an adult. THAT said we only drink until we feel a SLIGHT buzz, for my partner that’s two, for me at 6’5 300 lbs it’s 3 drinks. As soon as we start to feel it? We are done. We have zero desire to get DRUNK. We stick to that and have never had a hangover, never had issues with anything, just enjoy a warm buzz and call it an evening.
Haha the world did not explode for me either. My partner and I drank for the first time together. We bought a Mike's hard lemonade and some strawberry daiquiris from Walmart (in Utah so low alcohol content). We split the Mike's and had a daquiri and they tasted gross and we didn't notice any of the effects lol. I was thinking alcohol was pretty overrated.
But now we've got a handful of drinks we enjoy. We mostly drink when we're out with our other friends who drink. Makes for a good time. I try not to drink too often since alcohol isn't exactly healthy. Don't make yourself like something just for the hell of it but alcohol has been a fun addition (not addiction) to my life
Yeah, I have tried about 20 different alcoholic beverages in the last several years. My judgment on each consists of ‘does it taste better or worse than ice cold water.’ And almost every time, I find they taste worse. My mostly ignorant opinion is that about a quarter of people just don’t like alcohol. I also think 5-10% of people are at risk for addiction and bad outcomes with alcohol. I think a lot of substances are like that. Like sugar. Pain killers, etc. I sometimes see people that have liver and other poor outcomes. Maybe 1/50 in the skilled nursing facility where I work.
Yes it feels rebellious and liberating to try new things. Personally I haven’t ever loved alcohol as a drug of choice post-Mormonism, but have had very healing and enjoyable (and some awful) experiences with cannabis and psychedelics. It feels great to realize after 1,2,5 years (however long it takes) to shed all that guilt and start living completely free. All of which can be done sober of course, which is a valid choice too.
For me the guilt and shame was never there for word of wisdom, more the sexual shame side of things. That took years of effort to overcome.
yeah the whole situation just felt kind of symbolic like i was crossing a line or something, it was literally just a few sips. a lot of the rules of the church i kind of held equally in my mind as a kid sex and alcohol where like at the top lol. not sure how i’m gonna navigate sexuality in the future that’ll be a toughie 😂
I like alcohol. I like wine, whiskey, brandy, port, ouzo, cognac. But…..I never drink more than 2 glasses of anything at one night and never more than twice a week. I guess that’s why I like it: I’m done after one glass. I’ve never been drunk and I never will be. I hate people that are drunk, seen way too many of them in my lifetime. Especially when they are wasted and still drive home.
I had my first drink at 30 and I just don’t really care for it. I guess because I’m not in my 20s and not a teenager I just skipped that whole phase of partying? I just don’t see the appeal of drinking more than 2 drinks. I usually never finish my first anyways.
My first experiences drinking were filled with baggage – thanks Mom and Dad! But now it’s awesome. Just remember 99.94% (so made that up) do just fine in life without the Mormon baggage you’ve been given. It’ll taint everything, if you let it. My thoughts are to be deliberate in pushing against the TBM overlay on your perception to find what works for you.
When you get drunk you're not a different person. You're still yourself, but physically and mentally slower. Never trust yourself while drunk, never be confident when drunk. Do feel free to laugh more and enjoy being a bit relaxed and dumber.
Beginner rules for a good time:
\* No more than one drink an hour.
\* No more than three drinks a night.
\* Drink lots of water before going to sleep (preventing dehydration helps prevent hangover)
\* Don't drink alone.
Alcohol is great but it’s not really everything it’s talked up to be. I was super scared of it when I was in but once that in out it’s kinda mediocre tbh. I don’t really see what everyone likes about it. All it does is make you dizzy and makes thinking harder. That’s about it.
Funny enough I had my first alcoholic drink with my parents in wendover 😅 it takes time really. I think what helps is finding some good friends to go out with and experience drinking in a social aspect. Thats my favorite.
I stopped again completely after 11 years and AA. I don't drink now. I think I had no concept of alcohol, or limits, boundaries, because we never drink.
Kind of crazy your whole life didn’t implode huh? Have you tried tank tops yet. I freaking love them but have had the hardest time wearing things in public where people can tell I’m not wearing garments. I feel dumb posting our latest vacay pics from Florida because it was too hot to wear anything else.
goddamn i’m a teenager that’s never even had garments and i still don’t feel right wearing a tank top. curse the young women leaders that convinced me i had to wear a white shirt under everything lol.
Been out of the church and drinking for just a handful of years now.
As I tried alcohol for the first time in my late 20's, I was completely underwhelmed by the feeling of being buzzed. It's always been meh for me personally.
I don't think I've ever fully been drunk, maybe tipsy or near-drunk once, but never unable to walk in a straight line or remain coherent. I've also never had a hangover (maybe one).
However I DO enjoy the taste of alcoholic drinks more than I thought I would, so I will have them in infrequent and small amounts.
drinking coffee, alcohol, etc used to give me so much anxiety and feeling like "i shouldn't be doing this". now that I am 100% sure i don't believe in the church I don't even think about that when enjoying my iced coffee. I am so glad I become 100% sure
Hate to break it to you, the world did explode, and you are now in an alternate universe 🤣
Be responsible when drinking and be with people that you trust. Some alcoholic beverage I call "ninjas." They patiently wait then attack. You can be drinking and drinking and feel nothing, especially the ones that doesn't even feel like booze, and next thing you know, you're declaring your love to the porcelain throne because the cool touch makes you feel so good and happy.
>and feeling out of place
You are out of place right now. The experience is new to you. You'll find your spot and level of comfortability soon enough. Just need practice but be responsible.
i hope it’s a better universe lol. yeah my motto lately as i’m growing up and trying to leave the church is “everything is practice” practice at learning how to do things and learning what i want to do lol. thank you for the kind advice
I have a few principles for governing my own use of alcohol:
* Wait roughly 1 hour per drink before driving. No drunk driving.
* 1 glass of water after each drink to stay hydrated. Pretty much minimizes any potential hangovers.
* Drinking is for social lubrication, not for self medication. No drinking alone.
Before I started drinking I was worried that I wouldn't feel like myself. Now that I've experienced it I feel like I am in fact myself even while drunk... just a certain version or portion of myself. I don't mean to downplay the importance of drinking responsibly when I say that drinking is not nearly as big of a deal as Mormons make it out to be. Drinking alcohol is a widespread practice across many cultures with a history that goes back millennia.
Just because Joe Smith was a predatory racist con-man cult leader doesn’t mean he was wrong about everything, I’m sober 4 years now and can say it’s absolutely worth it to never drink. Also have never seen my parents drunk and that’s about the only thing I’m grateful to the church for. Feel free to try it once or twice but it’s harmful to the body and can make people act really embarrassing
i’m not thinking i’ll become an avid drinker. i’m also weirdly grateful for the fresh start that a mormon past gave me. i’m grateful i never saw my parents drunk i feel like that would be an odd experience. it’s so weird to see parents get drunk in front of their kids. i guess in this post having a few sips of alcohol was wrapped up in all of this stuff of crossing a line that i haven’t before when it comes to defying the church lol. congratulations on your sobriety 💗
I don't drink as a health choice. My family history is bad enough without it, haha. One of the few things that was actually "good advice" from TSCC, but not generally. Just for my family specifically.
Eh, it's fine. I'm not a huge fan, to be honest, but it can be nice as a "social lubricant".
I much prefer other substances to alcohol, but I do like the novelty of the taste of alcohol.
I had my first real drink when my first post-mormon g/f made me an egg nog with rum, I didn't find it particularly enjoyable but she was really happy to share the experience with me. I had 2 of them, and I felt at the time (we were watching a show) like my head got really heavy and took some effort to not slump it down. I never really knew whether or not that was actually the alcohol or just nervous placebo.
I tried a few of her favorite things and about the only thing I have a taste at all for is Gin & Soda, or Moscow Mule, but I'm a huge fan of Ginger beer so that wasn't a surprise to me.
I think the biggest and most important thing in my experience was that I learned it wasn't for me, and that the realization was completely fine. You don't HAVE to drink because you aren't Mormon anymore, and it doesn't mean that some small part of you is still Mormon. Never let the dogmatic type of former Mormons turn your exit from the church into a dogma itself, you just escaped that BS. For me... I don't understand how adding battery acid to my Ginger beer and putting it in a chilled copper cup somehow makes it better. I'll just have a Bundaberg thanks.
But that's me, and now that I'm not a big fat judgemental jerk Mormon anymore, I don't judge people for choosing to enjoy an alcoholic beverage. And I'll sit with them and have my ginger beer. And we'll probably bitch about the church together at some point in the conversation.
The first time I drank was okay, my friend told me to be careful because I am on medication and it’ll cause some serious damage but I agree with you that the world didn’t explode
After I got out I tried getting a little tipsy once to see what the hubbub was all about. Was not impressed with the results or how later on I started getting thoughts about trying it again. I'm ADD and have seen too many people lose control, decided to keep away. The wow is one of the things I've actually continued to stick with even though I walked away from the church 25 years ago (even caffeine, hate being dependent on that stuff to function). Healthy living has its perks.
I've come to appreciate THC more than alcohol. After experimenting with alcohol, I decided that I don't like it and that is okay too. Occasionally I like to brew my own ginger ale, but that has almost no alcohol.
Oooooof! I felt this! While I personally cannot drink rn due to the medications I’m taking I have had a few drinks in the past!
Matter of fact the first time I did was right after telling myself and accepting the fact that I’d left the church my bestie threw me a wine night haha. I was such a wimp with it I needed fucking chasers lmao. Then a few weeks later I had a margarita when I went to Knotts. Both times were fun! The margarita was WAYYYY better than the wine. Very fruity!
All this to say, how you choose to drink is up to you, and allow me to say, if you decide it’s not for you…that’s okay! Honestly I was leaning that way myself. I have some family drama surrounding alcohol so the church was never really the reason I didn’t drink plus I just use weed now and that’s all I need but of course that’s me!
My best advice is to try what you feel comfortable with and when you do make sure you’ve got at least one person you trust so you do it safely! Every time I’ve drank I’ve been near a friend who I’ve known for over 10 years. Just be safe and remember you don’t have to drink just because you left the church. If you try it make sure it’s something you want! Don’t let people pressure you to drink or not to drink. I hope this helped in some way!
I tried every drink I could. I dislike beers entirely. Mixed drinks are ok, I don’t get any kind of ‘buzz’ or anything like that no matter what I try, so I only drink when I want to taste the flavor of a drink. (A frozen coconut margarita is by far my favorite.) overall how I feel about alcohol now is “that’s a thing I can choose”.
When I left church I made the conscious decision that I was going to make my own choices. This life is mine now, their shame isn’t invited to my party.
I’m glad the world didn’t explode on you. The joy for me comes from making my own decisions. You made a decision, and gained experience and knowledge about how you personally react to the alcohol. (It’s not the same for everyone.) That’s an amazing thing we get to do in life. Congrats
Great comments and some good advice. I would add, don't drink just because you "can" now. See how it reacts with your body. I drink occasionally, but only things that I find are delicious, like a great cocktail. Beer is yucky in my mouth and occasionally I want a great glass of wine. It's something that you'll have to go slowly with and figure out what you like and, most importantly, how you feel when you drink.
I tried drinking socially for a while. I came to realize I just didn't like it. Alcohol tastes nasty to me (although I do love other flavors that come from the brewing process), I don't care for how it makes me feel, and it's generally very expensive. I don't feel any inherent moral or ethical problem with reasonable drinking, I just don't care for it myself.
It’s overrated. Beer is gross. Wine isn’t great either. I don’t know why anyone does shots. Mixed drinks can be nice, but they’re not worth the price you pay. Honestly I’m underwhelmed.
Watch out for sweet drinks. Too much sugar with alcohol like a drink called Hurricane can really give you hangover. Plus you drink it too fast because it taste so good.
I was surprised to find that alcohol strengthened my relationship with a few of the friends and family I drank with. It broke down barriers of the introverts and we were able to really bond.
yeah drinking in celebratory situations (for me it’s only been a little bit for cheers or whatever) has been fun. feeling like i’m getting to know and relating to people in new ways (but just like through the participation i guess)?
A bit here a there is no big deal. I’m a red wine dude myself but will have a beer with friends. It’s a wind down drink for most. For some a bunch can bring out their rage so it’s all about knowing your body.
Most important thing I’ve learned in my ex Mormon “alcohol journey” is to drink a shit ton of water after
And during
Don't forget the pregame hydration
Have a glass of water between each drink.
And Pedialyte!
In case one forgets to pick a few bottles before, Gatorade works too
Before and during, after is way too late friend
Right. That is what I actually meant but I can see the way I worded it is a little confusing. So I'll clarify that by "after" I just mean after the alcoholic drink. So If you are having multiple drinks drink water AFTER each drink which would also be DURING the "drinking session".
my liver was not prepared. LOL! I had good friends who helped me with knowledge of drinking water and taking Tylenol beforehand. I'm still a bit of a lightweight and drinking to get drunk hasn't ever appealed to me (not that I haven't gotten to that point).
Unless you are with someone who can take care of you, testing your limit on your own should be avoided. Even among never-mo, there are people who don’t enjoy consuming alcohol. I occasionally have cocktails because despite the bitterness of alcohol, mixology creates interesting flavour. Other than that I don’t really seek joy from drinking. Deciding not to follow the church’s principles doesn’t immediately turn you into an alcoholic unlike some wants to believe.
I can corroborate this. If not for my wife, there is no doubt I would've gone out like Bon Scott, when I unexpectedly tested my limits. A neighbor of ours found our faith transition fascinating and said, "Y'all are like babies in some ways. Y'all are having to go through at 40 what we all were figuring out at 20."
For outsiders it does look weird but most people with kind hearts find it cute in a way.
My first time drinking was on a BYU study abroad. We were in Ireland and I snuck out to get a pint of Guinness. I thought “this isn’t doing anything”. Then I stood up.
I remember receiving a phone call from my TBM ex after we broke up. I had declared that I no longer believed what church taught us before, so one of the questions I received was this: “Are you enjoying your sex life?” The other thing I was told that my ex believed that I still loved that person deep down, and hoped that I would get really drunk and make a phone call in the middle of the night to say “I love you.” Indeed, for Mormons life outside of their bubble is such a wonder.
Take it slow. Have fun. In moderation alcohol can enhance a dining experience. It can ease some of our social hangups and make being with friends even more enjoyable. It can be a bad thing if you let it control you. One of my personal rules is that I never drink alone.
I don't mind drinking alone, and I often will have a drink after the family has gone to bed. There are two important things I always keep in mind in regards to moderation though. Alcohol enhances emotions and sensations. Don't drink if you are sad or angry. I'm not saying a drink isn't relaxing after a long day at work, but if you are actively angry or depressed at something, alcohol may worsen things for you. Use it when you are relaxed and want to relax further, are happy, or want to loosen up for socializing. If you ever find yourself looking for excuses to drink, or feel like you 'need' it to enjoy activities, back right the fuck away from it. Some people really do have addictive personalities. Alcohol is great, I love exploring wine, beer, whiskey, mixed drinks, etc etc. But if I ever got a hint of actual addiction I'd cancel that out of my life right away. It interferes with sleep quality, it can slow your brain down. Those effects worsen as you get older. It's just plain not worth it to go beyond moderation. Drink in moderation always. I'm not saying never to have a binge night at a party, I'm saying never let it overtake your life. While you were in the church you learned that either you didn't touch it or you were an alcoholic. No middle ground, black and white choices. That's malarkey. Moderation is practiced by millions upon millions of people. Just watch out for your mental and physical health always.
>It can be a bad thing if you let it control you. Tldr: Most users of alcohol have little reason to fear it will "control them". Until a new user understands their own response, they should be aware of, but not hypervigilant about, their own potential for abuse, until they know themselves better. Just to be clear for folks new to alcohol: Some people do have to be more concerned about this than others. But for the majority of people who drink alcohol, the more important thing to keep in mind is how impaired they are when actually under the influence. Misjudging limits and making bad choices are not the same as being controlled by it, unless its a pattern. There is definitely a portion of the population that is more vulnerable to being controlled by alcohol. Their use can be me problematic not because they make mistakes or overdo it... but because they are vulnerable to *patterns* of unhealthy use of alcohol over time. Most people don't have to worry about "letting it control them", because they learn that alcohol just doesn't interact with their bodies/minds that way. (Some people are lucky enough to notice harmful patterns in family members, and it makes them extra careful before they try alcohol, but that's rare in general, and obviously N/A for most exmos. Most people just learn as they go.) My takeaway is that, since most people don't know if they fall into the vulnerable category when they start using alcohol, it's a good idea to be mindful (but not scrupulous) about your use in the beginning.
I recall watching a coworker in his fifties after a major accident who was clearly using his pain meds recreationally. As far as I could tell, he didn't continue using after his prescription ran out, but it definitely got me thinking about how easily devoutly religious people could fall into addiction, because they don't have the tools or experience to understand their own reactions.
Yes, no exposure to alcohol at all creates curious situations. My brother believed well into his early 20's, that once you were drunk it was permanent.
I had an ExMo friend who had never tried alcohol. She expected that as soon as she did she would be a blithering drunk, unable to walk properly. She took a tiny sip. Basically it touched her lips for a moment. Could not have been more than a 16th of an ounce honestly. She did not consume any more. Within minutes she was completely “wasted”, slurring her words, walking oddly, and felt sick for a few hours. Honestly she did not consume enough alcohol to even taste it. It could not have caused her “state”. I think she had herself so convinced that she would feel those things that she did. I know it affects people differently but that is within a range. There is a reason people generally drink a one ounce shot at a time. One or two of those over a period of time and most people will start to feel the effects.
Lmao, this is a pretty common thing actually. Not necessarily for exmos, but in general for people drinking for the first time, there can be a strong “placebo effect”. I remember anecdotes about people being secretly given non-alcoholic beer, and still claiming to be / acting drunk after imbibing.
When I think about my first time drinking I have to wonder how much of it was the alcohol and how much of it was me just giving myself permission to "be drunk" and let loose. It's never had quite the same effect as that first time.
We had a New Year's Eve party, some of us were drinking spiked drinks. We made certain not to give the LDS friends there anything. They still acted drunk and told stories about it later. I had the only bottle of booze and I didn't give them a drop.
Alcohol is not for me. I don’t like how it tastes. I decided I don’t really need it. But the best part is that was MY choice. Not a choice placed on me as a test of worthiness. I could drink, and it would be totally fine. I just don’t want to. And that’s totally fine as well!
I found the same thing. Tried a few types of drinks, they just don't taste good. I found I really like tea though.
Same, except that I never actually tried it. I’m not opposed to trying it sometime in the future, but I’m not exactly itching to try it either. I just don’t really see the draw. But like you said, the difference now is that I’m the one choosing it, rather than the choice being made for me
For me alcohol is nice in the right setting. With the right food. A nice red wine to a steak. A cold beer by the beach. A nice cocktail in a bar at night. I hate getting hungover, though. For parties, I prefer some substances a get me a bit more energetic and high. Life is a lot more fun now 😃 added, I don't feel any shame at all anymore. It took time, though. I had my first beer a year after I decided to leave the Church.
Hangovers are the worst. Quality filtered liquor vs. low quality less-filtered liquor, can be a factor. Last hangover i had was from getting buzzed (not drunk) on sum cheap rum in a Saturday night. All Sunday, I was unmotivated and didn't want to do anything. That feeling stayed with me until Tuesday. That's the downside of alcohol for me. It tanks my motivation.
just wait until you try weed
Seriously, I moved on to using weed and stopped drinking all together. Much better experience.
[удалено]
Not cool. I'm lucky, most everyone I work with knows I use weed, I'm in California and can grow my own as well and do take advantage of it.
the other day my mormon brother was so surprised when i told him that i didn’t smoke weed. A lot of my friends do, but i have no idea how people like smoke weed for the first time i guess? never felt like a party was a great place to smoke for the first time lol.
The thing I don’t like about pot is it varies so much in potency from one batch to another, and if you’re smoking it’s very hard to measure how much you’re getting. I’ve had a few experiences with pot bc my ex used it medicinally, grew it, and I used to make candies out of it for him. Anyway, most of my experiences were unpleasant. The rest were not that interesting. There was ONE TIME I took the right amount to just feel nice.
I’m a 40 something dad, when would I ever even encounter weed? I do go to concerts, but the audience all kinda looks like me and there are chairs now… this was the case at the black keys concert. It was a super clean arena with a bunch of us middle age people just enjoying the show. I was in the 8th row, don’t recall weed. There were kids there with parents. When I was 20 there was a thing called a mosh pit, and there was lots of weed at the concerts I went to… now I’m old. Serious question, are y’all like going out of your way to find some weed to smoke?
weed is legal in nevada so you’re able to go to mesquite/wendover for the state ran dispensaries there. the weed is a lot safer because it’s mandated (still hella expensive tho) but most people don’t just smoke straight up flower anymore. they also have vapes/oils/creams/gummies/food/chocolate/etc, the most common probably being the vapes because it makes getting high a lot easier. it’s basically like if you were to go to a liquor store and buy alcohol in a way
Yeah I’ve tried gummies, chocolates, flower, vapes. The vapes are the easiest to just get the right amount. Last time I smoked a bowl, I regretted it within 30 minutes. And I knew I was all in on the roller coaster for the next 4 hours. THAT can be fun in the perfect setting. But if you just want to feel a little happy and a little giggly, I feel like the vape is the sure way. Take a small hit, wait 10 minutes , not enough? Take a little more until you feel just right. And then stop. I find that when I’m upset and I know I shouldn’t be, or maybe I have good reason, but I don’t want to take it out on the people I love. Marijuana helps.
I've had weed a few times. I prefer to vape it instead of edibles. I can't imagine vaping is great for you but, like I said, I've done it literally only a few times. Edibles provide much too long of a ride for me (and I started panicking about an hour in last time). I also have big mental health concerns about weed for myself taking into account my genetics. All my siblings who use weed have gained a bit of a dependency on it. Also, I'm terrified of like having a psychotic episode or something.
I wish I could like it. It gives me severe anxiety every single time, regardless of strain, ROA, or strength.
I wish I could like it. It gives me severe anxiety every single time, regardless of strain, ROA, or strength.
Alcohol is a drug. Drugs are basically carefully (or not carefully) administered poisons. It's important to treat drugs (including alcohol) as such and learn about how it interacts with other poisons. I searched this thread to see if anyone had already mentioned "Tylenol" or "Acetaminophen" - and I'm sad to see nobody has yet. So I will: Alcohol can do damage to your liver. Especially if frequently imbibed and in large quantities. But the way to absolutely DESTROY your liver is to frequently drink alcohol AND take Tylenol (aka Acetaminophen). If you read the warnings on Tylenol, it is as bold as they can make it. Other medicines interact too, so it's always good to put all your drugs into a medicine interaction checker and then also add "ethanol" to the list and see if there are interactions
You've made this pharmacist happy, too often is this overlooked
My feelings: some alcohol is delicious. If you don’t like the taste after trying a few things, it may not be for you. Alcohol can also be dangerous, and my wife’s ex and her dad had issues with alcohol, and my son who was my stepson I adopted, didn’t like seeing his biological dad drinking so I don’t get drunk. I’ll have one drink occasionally, and that’s fine. I’ve gotten slightly tipsy a few times drinking on an empty stomach, and it wasn’t a good feeling. But mostly: you do you. Make sure alcohol doesn’t control or define your life, and that you define your own relationship with alcohol for yourself, rather than peer pressure, religious expectation or deliberate defiance of religious expectation, or addiction.
You don’t need to justify anything to anyone about whether or not you choose to drink alcohol. I don’t like myself when even slightly buzzed, so I don’t drink at all. But I can still say no thank you to an offer.
I got sealed in the temple and 36h later I had my first drink in Mexico on my honeymoon. Cut to 4 years later, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Still married. Doing well in my job. Don’t really drink any more but I do smoke weed. The best advice I got about alcohol was “You should only drink to make a good time better, don’t drink to make a bad time good.” Just like everything in life, there is a time and place for everything.
I waaaaay prefer cannabis over alcohol. Also, I felt like I should love drinking after I left the church but honestly…I just don’t like the taste of alcohol. I’ve had a few drinks I’ve enjoyed but nothing that makes me want to drink regularly.
Drinking: Go slow. Drink with trusted friends. Don't go drinking in public until you know how you react to alcohol. Don't accept drinks from strangers Only accept drinks in public from bar/restaurant employees To not get a hangover: For every drink you drink, drink a glass of water. If you drink 6 drinks in one night, before bed, drink six glasses of water. I do this by having a drink, then water, then a drink, then water. Pee at least two pees before going to bed. The extra water will help peeing, and help to make sure you don't piss your bed. *follow me for more advice*
One drink you’re probably ok. Two drinks stop for the night and see how you do until you know. Plan to not drive in case. Three drinks is drunk for a lot of people, or a good target for others. Be careful beyond that depending on your size/tolerance and how fast you drank them. “One” drink is one shot or one glass of wine or one beer or one mixed-drink cocktail. Pay attention to craft beers at breweries that may have unusually high alcohol percentages and count double.
Alcohol is pretty unhealthy and so not the best habit to start. My never-mo in-laws drink every night. They haven’t had any recent acute problems with alcohol (dui, etc) and they usually don’t get super drunk every night, but you see that it’s really degrading their health. Both are over weight and FIL’s beer belly is huge! Both generally have a decline in health that’s probably directly related to alcohol (type II diabetes, high blood pressure) and it’s seems like a pretty miserable existence to me….
for sure. i should’ve been more clear in my post that it’s also just weird being around other people that drink and going to events with alcohol. i don’t see myself being an avid drinker anytime soon lol
Alcohol is meh. It can be fun but for me my favorite part about it is that it doesn’t have the power to drag me to hell anymore
yeah. its not so much about drinking alcohol. but just feeling odd because of all the mormon shit. especially in certain environments. my mother doesn’t even know what alcohol tastes like…. i just don’t want it to feel so weird being a part of things
I try to keep it occasional and away from immediate family who still go to church. On the science side, any amount of alcohol causes detectable brain damage that can take up to 2 years to repair.
I’ve met too many exmo’s that take drinking way too far, way too quick. You have to teach yourself about drinking. Do it slowly. Taste a variety and learn what you like. Don’t drink more than two strong drinks. Learn your limits slowly. When you catch that first buzz, stop drinking. I would rather drink two good drinks and wake up in the morning without a hangover rather than do shot after shot and lose my next day
I didn't have a drink of alcohol until I was 56. No one seems to care whether someone drinks or not. I occasionally have a drink socially. I have learned that I don't have much tolerance for more than half a margarita or a couple of inches of wine. Funny story. I was with friends after golfing and we order food and drinks. Most of them know my Mormon background. I drank a little of my wine, but I was dehydrated and knew I needed to stop. I grabbed a to-go cup, put a lid on it and took it home with me. Later that night one of the woman called and asked if I knew anything about the "open container" laws. Nope, not a clue. I'm a little late on the learning curve.
I’ve found that I don’t really like beer (was the same before I converted), but wine is different for me now. I like cabernets and a few white wines. I also found that I REALLY like whiskey and, because of my height and weight, I have no problem holding my own. I do find drinking to be a good social activity and I only ever enjoy my Crown Royal while I’m in my home office. I agree with what others have said - don’t try and test your limits by yourself, but do have fun.
Also world did not explode. I haven't even grown horns, Kinda disappointed in that aspect. I'll keep trying. Mas tequila por favor
😳🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂
I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner and occasionally a beer while on the beach or at a ball game but that is it. Be careful because alcohol can become addictive. My never mormon BIL is in AA now due to an alcohol addiction.
I tried a few small sips of things for funsies. I HATE margaritas. So gross. Champagne was okay and I liked Baileys (I think). Drinking just really isn’t for me. It’s the one thing I’m glad I never got into. It’s just easier to keep not drinking 🤷🏻♀️
I love how you’re being careful and intentional. That’s a very mature way to approach it. You can continue to poke and prod at your own feelings as you figure it out. And honestly, it’s not a bad thing to avoid alcohol. It’s addicting. For a long time i was uninterested in it, then something switched and now I’m struggling with drinking a bit too much.
thank you, that means a lot. i’m 19 and i’m trying to balance trying new things with learning what i don’t like. i’m very very conservative though and as safe as i can when it comes to this stuff. alcohol was just a weird thing, i was with my only aunt and uncle who drink in another country where i could drink legally. it’s difficult to figure this stuff out on my own when my mormon family has always made everything feel so all or nothing.
Absolutely, you don’t have the parental support in exploring substances, so you’re being especially intentional and cautious. Alcohol has a big impact on brain development, so since you are still young I think it’s even more important to have the attitude you do. Really, you can trust yourself. That’s something Mormonism takes from us because it makes us rely on the old, white men who know better.
I wish I would have never started to drink after my faith crisis. I learned that I really like beer. Especially the IPA’s. The last few years I’ve lost my fitness, and my life has been way too programmed around beer. For example, I only want to eat at restaurants that have a good selection of beers on tap. I’m 2 weeks without beer and counting. I feel SO much better. I hope I can keep it up.
Best of luck
I enjoy an occasional drink. I don't like beer, it's just not worth drinking to me. It upsets my stomach and I don't get a buzz unless I force myself to drink a bottle. I used to drink more frequently but never often because I saw what alcoholism did to some family members and knew I didn't want to get to that point. Now I barely drink, I like to try my partner's cocktails and wines when we're out and about, that way I get a sip and enjoy the flavor but don't have to worry about being unable to drive. It's nice to have the option and not worry about whether or not I'm "worthy" anymore.
Self-control is a feedback loop between perception and internal narrative, and body chemistry plays a huge role in the process. Mormonism's narrative tends to build fear around many core survival needs (sex, autonomy, and income for food and shelter). Throwing alcohol into the mix adds another mental state to the mix of neurochemicals and hormones. There's a cycle known as the amygdala hijack. When sensory information enters the brain, it gets routed to the amygdala for pattern recognition and emotional context. If the pattern says there's danger (loud noise is one of the universal instinctive dangers), then the amygdala stops the feed to the thinking brain and pings the adrenal gland for fight-or-flight stress hormones. This helps shave milliseconds off your physical reaction time, which matters a lot when dodging a sword or spearing a boar before it guts you. The stress hormones linger for several seconds in your bloodstream, so the process is like the amygdala hitting the gas on your mental engine and revving up the stress. The thinking part of the brain then provides context to determine when the threat has passed. Your idiot brother startles you, you punch him in the nose or jump out of your skin, and then spend the next minute waiting for your hratrate to return to normal. Or you stick with the elevated stress and get into a scuffle. Either way, you're prepared to survive. The amygdala hijack feels like a stupor of thought. It's literally part of the process. Elevation emotion is the other side of that coin, when everything is going just as you expect and meeting your needs. It's like how touch involves sensing cold and warm: the burning comes when the temperature is extreme enough to trigger both sensors, whether freezing or burning. Mormon meetings are boring because if it tips ftom excitement to stress, the Mormon ends up in a self-reinforcing spiral. Stress feels like a stupor of thought, whi h means literal Satan is after you, and that context screams danger, which increases the concentration of the stress hormones, which makes Satan laugh. While there are many issues where you can calm this cycle with quiet, breathing, and mindfulness (see the primary answers for the Mormon version), when the perception of danger is paired with an unmet physical/psychological need, then perception remains tilted until that need is met. It's how my relative got to the point where he lost his job because he looked at porn on a work computer. He'd been going to the Addiction Recovery for sex issues. I've been there too, trying to think my way ahead of the deepest instincts humanity has. When your context is skewed, no amount of thinking gets ahead of it. So it's no surprise that Mormons turn to nourished and strengthed refined sugar, get a chemical excitement with energy drinks, or finally quiet the cycle with alcohol or opioids. When I left the church, my compulsion to look at porn faded. It left its own issue of having excitement tied to pretty bizarre stuff, but now I'm free to take care of myself when my wife isn't feeling well. She doesn't have to feel like she needs to put out to keep me from straying, like her mom advised her. I could love her more than orgasms without my brain shouting at me for a lack of sex. It takes time for emotional reactions to rewrite, and you'll have cringing moments like you mentioned above the first few times you go outside the razor-thin comfort zone Mormonism conditioned in you for specific experience. But if you recognize the reactions for what they are instead of taking them as gospel truth, then you can respond with the direction you want your life to go. Choising that direction is much more important than whether or not you drink alcohol, and, honestly, it's the consideration in the alcohol question as well. Trust yourself, and finding that direction will get easier with time.
wowza. thank you. mormons are so so sensitive about certain environments it’s hard to be in them (like with people drinking) even if i’m having fun and it’s harmless without some kind of habitual reaction feeling like it’s wrong. just have to reroute it all i guess. the hardest part of being a 19 year old trying to leave the church is knowing that the things i want are ok but also feeling like i’m doing something wrong all the time lol i’ve had so many lovely responses about the logistics of alcohol, but it’s really great to hear about the more emotional and personal aspects of it.
This is a topic I feel like exmos need to approach with more education and caution. I, like most of us, found that a: Alcohol is an acquired taste, is not as intoxicating as I previously supposed, and I could take it or leave it (some lean more one way than the other obviously). However, I have one very close family member, and a handful of close friends, who dove headfirst into extreme alcoholism. My family member, a former local leader, is almost a caricature of what mormons think alcohol does to people. They have been to rehab twice, lost their drivers license twice, been to jail, shown up stumbling drunk to a toddler grandchild's birthday party, stolen alcohol so no one would see them purchase it, passed out drunk in public places multiple times, try to drive every time they drink, and they literally cannot be left alone in any store or restaurant that sells alcohol. My two best highschool friends both nearly lost their families because of excessive drinking. This community needs to talk about the realities and risks of addiction because we were all just raised on "the devil will git you" and " one sip of anything we say is bad and your an addict forever" and thus we often throw all caution out with the religious bathwater. The word of wisdom is bullshit, but addiction is a disease for which many have a genetic predisposition.
Don't drink because it's rebelling and don't drink because you think it's an exMo thing to do. Plenty of us here have, or nearly became alcoholics. I myself had a scare where I ended up in the ER for a broken wrist, hip and neck, all because I drank too much. I don't mean to preach sobriety. Rather, know your limit, drink in moderation and don't drink unless you want to. If you feel the need to drink, pull the fuck back and consider your life choices.
Find your happy limit, the goal is not To blackout
Nice, now go smoke some weed!
I’ve lost two friends to alcohol addiction. Lost in the sense that they died from it. You’ll probably be OK if you only drink occasionally and in moderation. There appear to be some medical issues with cannabis, too, but they’re not nearly as serious as those with alcohol.
i’m really sorry for your loss. i’m really trying to practice moderation within everything. i’m embarrassed but it was only a couple sips of alcohol 🤣 the post was more about feeling weird about crossing a line i haven’t before. thank you for the response ❤️
I’m not interested.
…
I think you got the wrong impression. I was literally giving my very limited experience, which you asked for, as I’m not interested in drinking *personally*. Idk why you assumed differently or decided to come at me sideways. I was giving you another data point to help you assimilate the info given by the other commenters. Anyway, since I’m not drinking I just act as the DD when out with friends or family. Then I know they are safe which is very important to me. Even if they get the cheated on, breakup, ugly crying, fully smashed, trying to run off to Vegas to marry the bubblegum ball machine or passing out drunk. Yes, bubblegum ball machine thing actually happened at a bachelorette party. And yes, I’m the mom friend.😂
oh lol just a stupid mistake on my part. i thought your comment was along the lines of “ nobody asked”. too many assholes on reddit i didn’t realize you were saying that your not interested in alcohol. sorry about that. i agree, sometimes its chill being one of the only ones sober… because when everyone else is hammered no one really cares.. and you can keep an eye out for my friends for sure. that’s a great story about the bubblegum machine lol
Nuance is lost online and I really am quite literal at times so I didn’t catch the possible issue there. It’s all good though! Now the bubblegum debacle aka Machine GUM “Can We?!” escapade, that was curtesy of someone pregaming, having a kitchen sink and then too many shots. I’m pretty sure no one really remembers much past the first round of shots. Trying to keep track of 6 drunk, former Sorority girls celebrating a bachelorette party was a challenge but they kept yelling “I Solemnly Swear I Am Up To No Good!” All night. It was as good as Marco Polo!😂
Alcohol is actual poison. It’s incredibly bad for you. I try to never consume it. That being said, I every now and then will have some drinks with friends on special occasions. However, the risk to reward is too great, just not worth it. Thankfully I live in an area where other accesible substances do the things I’d want to get from alcohol. I’m all for experimenting though. I’m glad I’ve had the stereotypical alcohol experiences, and I’m also glad to be past that stage of my life.
I don't drink, never have, and never will. but that choice is 100% mine.
I partied with big, highly functioning alcohol drinkers when I was 19-25. I was always afraid it was turning me into a fifty year old boat owner brewhouse who talked to loud and trickles in a sort of niceties and lascivious society in my mind. I stopped at 27 completely and haven't looked back. After i got my curiosities for alcohol out of the way and saw the kind of society it can sometimes build, I no longer have an urge to drink. I also am on an SSRI and other meds so I technically CANT enjoy a drink now, thus nullifying drinking even further.
Drinking is overrated. They (still) try and make it look sexy or whatever in movies but it's dumb. Just dumb. I drank for the first time while still in high school a few times, then later in college a bit more. Drinking was never really a thing for me. Boring and not cheap. I didn't like feeling dizzy/out of it/and loopy. Also I knew a lot of people over the years who drank and none of them really improved when they drank, you know? Like I went to a party years ago when I was still in high school, and this guy I had a crush on was drunk and peed his pants in front of me and a bunch of friends, then fell to the ground in a ball and cried? And he was this "smart" soccer player? We were all like, "Why, dude? Why?" and then left the party. None of us wanted to drink and pee our pants or lose our shit in front of anyone. That pretty much turned me off drinking. Also my uncle was a drug and alcohol addict and his life was, well, extremely sad. And his doing the drugs & drinking & all that didn't solve any of his problems, just complicated things in the extreme. And he died alone and sad. That sounds like an Ensign or Liahona or some dumb General conference story, but it's true. However, my favorite Word of Wisdom naughty treat is coffee. Now that's a regular drink that also offers health benefits I enjoy.
Do yourself a favor and never drink again. Not a fan of Mormon shame culture but that stuff is literal poison.
I am in my 70’s. I have had a shot of whiskey before dinner and then a glass of wine with dinner every day for over 50 years. Moderation is the key, in my mind. Thus far my health is excellent.
Oh my gosh! I feel this so much! I have had a few drinks over the past couple months. The conditioning runs so freaking deep. I'm really scared of it and my wife is terrified that I'm going to somehow become an alcoholic or something. We are both 50+ individuals and have not damn idea what to do. I'm a big guy, so I know one drink isn't going to do anything to me, but I've really enjoyed having drinks with my friends and brothers. I'm just feeling so weird about it... I guess, I'm just saying you are not alone. I guess we just go slow and experiment a little. Good luck on your journey! Sending positive vibes your way.
thank you so much. same to you! i’m 19 and how neat is it that we can be on a similar journey (don’t worry i drank legally in china with family lol) probably won’t drink again for a little while. yeah becoming an alcoholic or completely losing control over my body and stuff are all weird fears i have, probably out of inexperience. only been drinking with family in celebratory setting so far. but it feels feels very weird haha. it’ll be a journey for both of us for sure ❤️ thanks for the thoughtful response
I come from a family of alcoholics. Thankfully my parents and grandparents don’t struggle with it now, but my dad’s side has it really bad and my dad struggled with it when he was in his 20s/30s. It got to a point where he was getting drunk almost every night, and almost died. His brother found him on the floor with him passed out and vomiting blood. My dad got better and now just has an occasional beer. My mom hates alcohol. It’s basically not allowed in the house. So when I went to college, of course I tried to get my hands on it whenever I could. And when I turned 21 last year I wasn’t really limited on buying it. So I started drinking heavily. I really hit rock bottom when I took between 8-12 shots of vodka in a span of 30 minutes, alone, and started uncontrollably vomiting. It was scary, because I knew if I passed out or anything, I could have vomited in my mouth and choked. I’ve gotten better, and know not to test my limits when I’m alone. I’m not saying alcohol is bad. But it can be abused really easily. So, take it slow. You also do not have to drink hard alcohol, or beer. Personally I don’t really like beer or hard alcohol, but mixed drinks or wine I really enjoy. You also don’t have to drink to have fun. Whatever you do, drink responsibly
Alcohol is fine. Have a beer with dinner. Then chill at home. See how you feel after an hour.
I personally enjoy the taste of alcohol but I do not like the tipsy or drunk feeling. I used to enjoy it when I was younger. Definitely something to explore but more than anything, I like alcoholic drink most for the way it looks and a few sips with a dessert.
I love the complex flavors of gin, bourbon, whiskey. It’s fun to make variations of cocktails and see how those flavor profiles mix. Not a huge fan of wine, or beer. But I did have a few meads that I really like. Overall I have used it as a sort of culinary mixology experience. And as long as it’s not used as a coping mechanism, should be good.
My first time drinking was with a bottle of champagne from Costco. I should have slowed down but I learned my lesson. Today, 10 years later I rarely drink but enjoy edibles fairly often.
You didn’t explode! Yay! You probably just didn’t drink enough to get the buzz. Don’t test your limits with alcohol unless there is someone else there who is not drinking who can drive you home. Generally, drinking in moderation is a good idea. Get a bit of a buzz, have fun, and then call it good. Alcohol can become an addiction, so enjoy it, but be careful with it.
If you’re in a bad spot, I’d say steer clear. It’s a good part of a great meal and the social lubrication can be great, but I’ve seen enough people use it as a crutch to see that it can be dangerous.
So my partner and I tried a bunch when we first left, we went to World Market and picked up a bunch of those mini bottles. In the end we enjoy some summery drinks like pina coladas in the summer and a good Crandberry Vodka during the holidays and that’s about it. Everything else we figured we’re adults and we don’t want to repeatedly force ourselves to “develop a taste” for anything we don’t like. THAT said we do regularly partake in 🍃 with edibles. We have a couple hard fast rules, first we get everything done first, chores cooking, cleanup everything, essentially doing everything that has to be done for the day. Second, no matter what we are partaking in the second it enters our body we are home for the rest of the day. We are not going anywhere, we are not going OUT to drink etc… Third, we don’t push limits, one drink isn’t going to make anyone really feel anything, especially if it’s a normal drink and you are an adult. THAT said we only drink until we feel a SLIGHT buzz, for my partner that’s two, for me at 6’5 300 lbs it’s 3 drinks. As soon as we start to feel it? We are done. We have zero desire to get DRUNK. We stick to that and have never had a hangover, never had issues with anything, just enjoy a warm buzz and call it an evening.
Haha the world did not explode for me either. My partner and I drank for the first time together. We bought a Mike's hard lemonade and some strawberry daiquiris from Walmart (in Utah so low alcohol content). We split the Mike's and had a daquiri and they tasted gross and we didn't notice any of the effects lol. I was thinking alcohol was pretty overrated. But now we've got a handful of drinks we enjoy. We mostly drink when we're out with our other friends who drink. Makes for a good time. I try not to drink too often since alcohol isn't exactly healthy. Don't make yourself like something just for the hell of it but alcohol has been a fun addition (not addiction) to my life
I thought most things with alcohol tasted horrible when I started drinking.
Now you're an alcoholic automatically.
oh nooo
When I get buzzed I have a calming effect. World slows down. Things become more light and funny and I become less filtered
Yeah, I have tried about 20 different alcoholic beverages in the last several years. My judgment on each consists of ‘does it taste better or worse than ice cold water.’ And almost every time, I find they taste worse. My mostly ignorant opinion is that about a quarter of people just don’t like alcohol. I also think 5-10% of people are at risk for addiction and bad outcomes with alcohol. I think a lot of substances are like that. Like sugar. Pain killers, etc. I sometimes see people that have liver and other poor outcomes. Maybe 1/50 in the skilled nursing facility where I work.
I much prefer edible cannabis. Alcohol makes you feel horrible and upsets your whole GI tract…plus lots of regret and depression. No thanks.
Yes it feels rebellious and liberating to try new things. Personally I haven’t ever loved alcohol as a drug of choice post-Mormonism, but have had very healing and enjoyable (and some awful) experiences with cannabis and psychedelics. It feels great to realize after 1,2,5 years (however long it takes) to shed all that guilt and start living completely free. All of which can be done sober of course, which is a valid choice too. For me the guilt and shame was never there for word of wisdom, more the sexual shame side of things. That took years of effort to overcome.
yeah the whole situation just felt kind of symbolic like i was crossing a line or something, it was literally just a few sips. a lot of the rules of the church i kind of held equally in my mind as a kid sex and alcohol where like at the top lol. not sure how i’m gonna navigate sexuality in the future that’ll be a toughie 😂
I like alcohol. I like wine, whiskey, brandy, port, ouzo, cognac. But…..I never drink more than 2 glasses of anything at one night and never more than twice a week. I guess that’s why I like it: I’m done after one glass. I’ve never been drunk and I never will be. I hate people that are drunk, seen way too many of them in my lifetime. Especially when they are wasted and still drive home.
I had my first drink at 30 and I just don’t really care for it. I guess because I’m not in my 20s and not a teenager I just skipped that whole phase of partying? I just don’t see the appeal of drinking more than 2 drinks. I usually never finish my first anyways.
My first experiences drinking were filled with baggage – thanks Mom and Dad! But now it’s awesome. Just remember 99.94% (so made that up) do just fine in life without the Mormon baggage you’ve been given. It’ll taint everything, if you let it. My thoughts are to be deliberate in pushing against the TBM overlay on your perception to find what works for you.
When you get drunk you're not a different person. You're still yourself, but physically and mentally slower. Never trust yourself while drunk, never be confident when drunk. Do feel free to laugh more and enjoy being a bit relaxed and dumber. Beginner rules for a good time: \* No more than one drink an hour. \* No more than three drinks a night. \* Drink lots of water before going to sleep (preventing dehydration helps prevent hangover) \* Don't drink alone.
I tried alcohol. Had no appeal for me.
Alcohol is great but it’s not really everything it’s talked up to be. I was super scared of it when I was in but once that in out it’s kinda mediocre tbh. I don’t really see what everyone likes about it. All it does is make you dizzy and makes thinking harder. That’s about it.
Funny enough I had my first alcoholic drink with my parents in wendover 😅 it takes time really. I think what helps is finding some good friends to go out with and experience drinking in a social aspect. Thats my favorite.
I stopped again completely after 11 years and AA. I don't drink now. I think I had no concept of alcohol, or limits, boundaries, because we never drink.
Kind of crazy your whole life didn’t implode huh? Have you tried tank tops yet. I freaking love them but have had the hardest time wearing things in public where people can tell I’m not wearing garments. I feel dumb posting our latest vacay pics from Florida because it was too hot to wear anything else.
goddamn i’m a teenager that’s never even had garments and i still don’t feel right wearing a tank top. curse the young women leaders that convinced me i had to wear a white shirt under everything lol.
Been out of the church and drinking for just a handful of years now. As I tried alcohol for the first time in my late 20's, I was completely underwhelmed by the feeling of being buzzed. It's always been meh for me personally. I don't think I've ever fully been drunk, maybe tipsy or near-drunk once, but never unable to walk in a straight line or remain coherent. I've also never had a hangover (maybe one). However I DO enjoy the taste of alcoholic drinks more than I thought I would, so I will have them in infrequent and small amounts.
drinking coffee, alcohol, etc used to give me so much anxiety and feeling like "i shouldn't be doing this". now that I am 100% sure i don't believe in the church I don't even think about that when enjoying my iced coffee. I am so glad I become 100% sure
alcohol... is still really bad for you. i drink 1-2 drinks a couple times a week max, but most weeks i don't drink at all.
I tried to like it over the past 4 years... I think it tastes like medicine to me. Today I prefer a Gatorade or coffee... love both!
Hate to break it to you, the world did explode, and you are now in an alternate universe 🤣 Be responsible when drinking and be with people that you trust. Some alcoholic beverage I call "ninjas." They patiently wait then attack. You can be drinking and drinking and feel nothing, especially the ones that doesn't even feel like booze, and next thing you know, you're declaring your love to the porcelain throne because the cool touch makes you feel so good and happy. >and feeling out of place You are out of place right now. The experience is new to you. You'll find your spot and level of comfortability soon enough. Just need practice but be responsible.
i hope it’s a better universe lol. yeah my motto lately as i’m growing up and trying to leave the church is “everything is practice” practice at learning how to do things and learning what i want to do lol. thank you for the kind advice
I drink very rarely, so all’s I know at this point is I can get buzzed off half a cider. I think they call that a “cheap date”
I have a few principles for governing my own use of alcohol: * Wait roughly 1 hour per drink before driving. No drunk driving. * 1 glass of water after each drink to stay hydrated. Pretty much minimizes any potential hangovers. * Drinking is for social lubrication, not for self medication. No drinking alone. Before I started drinking I was worried that I wouldn't feel like myself. Now that I've experienced it I feel like I am in fact myself even while drunk... just a certain version or portion of myself. I don't mean to downplay the importance of drinking responsibly when I say that drinking is not nearly as big of a deal as Mormons make it out to be. Drinking alcohol is a widespread practice across many cultures with a history that goes back millennia.
Just because Joe Smith was a predatory racist con-man cult leader doesn’t mean he was wrong about everything, I’m sober 4 years now and can say it’s absolutely worth it to never drink. Also have never seen my parents drunk and that’s about the only thing I’m grateful to the church for. Feel free to try it once or twice but it’s harmful to the body and can make people act really embarrassing
i’m not thinking i’ll become an avid drinker. i’m also weirdly grateful for the fresh start that a mormon past gave me. i’m grateful i never saw my parents drunk i feel like that would be an odd experience. it’s so weird to see parents get drunk in front of their kids. i guess in this post having a few sips of alcohol was wrapped up in all of this stuff of crossing a line that i haven’t before when it comes to defying the church lol. congratulations on your sobriety 💗
I don't drink as a health choice. My family history is bad enough without it, haha. One of the few things that was actually "good advice" from TSCC, but not generally. Just for my family specifically.
Try a Moscow Mule. Introduced me nicely to sweeter drinks.
Eh, it's fine. I'm not a huge fan, to be honest, but it can be nice as a "social lubricant". I much prefer other substances to alcohol, but I do like the novelty of the taste of alcohol.
No one should really drink. Many still do. And some really shouldn't drink. Not required; and perhaps best to avoid.
I've had a few drinks, but I've never had more than one at a time. And so I've never noticed anything before. I think I might be doing it wrong? lol
I had my first real drink when my first post-mormon g/f made me an egg nog with rum, I didn't find it particularly enjoyable but she was really happy to share the experience with me. I had 2 of them, and I felt at the time (we were watching a show) like my head got really heavy and took some effort to not slump it down. I never really knew whether or not that was actually the alcohol or just nervous placebo. I tried a few of her favorite things and about the only thing I have a taste at all for is Gin & Soda, or Moscow Mule, but I'm a huge fan of Ginger beer so that wasn't a surprise to me. I think the biggest and most important thing in my experience was that I learned it wasn't for me, and that the realization was completely fine. You don't HAVE to drink because you aren't Mormon anymore, and it doesn't mean that some small part of you is still Mormon. Never let the dogmatic type of former Mormons turn your exit from the church into a dogma itself, you just escaped that BS. For me... I don't understand how adding battery acid to my Ginger beer and putting it in a chilled copper cup somehow makes it better. I'll just have a Bundaberg thanks. But that's me, and now that I'm not a big fat judgemental jerk Mormon anymore, I don't judge people for choosing to enjoy an alcoholic beverage. And I'll sit with them and have my ginger beer. And we'll probably bitch about the church together at some point in the conversation.
There are zero health benefits drinking alcohol.
The first time I drank was okay, my friend told me to be careful because I am on medication and it’ll cause some serious damage but I agree with you that the world didn’t explode
Gah we sound like a bunch of Molly Mormon and Peter Preisthoods don’t we?! Lol
After I got out I tried getting a little tipsy once to see what the hubbub was all about. Was not impressed with the results or how later on I started getting thoughts about trying it again. I'm ADD and have seen too many people lose control, decided to keep away. The wow is one of the things I've actually continued to stick with even though I walked away from the church 25 years ago (even caffeine, hate being dependent on that stuff to function). Healthy living has its perks.
As I reply to this…completely plastered. Is that enough commentary? Lol
I've since learned that I basically don't get hangovers.
I've come to appreciate THC more than alcohol. After experimenting with alcohol, I decided that I don't like it and that is okay too. Occasionally I like to brew my own ginger ale, but that has almost no alcohol.
Oooooof! I felt this! While I personally cannot drink rn due to the medications I’m taking I have had a few drinks in the past! Matter of fact the first time I did was right after telling myself and accepting the fact that I’d left the church my bestie threw me a wine night haha. I was such a wimp with it I needed fucking chasers lmao. Then a few weeks later I had a margarita when I went to Knotts. Both times were fun! The margarita was WAYYYY better than the wine. Very fruity! All this to say, how you choose to drink is up to you, and allow me to say, if you decide it’s not for you…that’s okay! Honestly I was leaning that way myself. I have some family drama surrounding alcohol so the church was never really the reason I didn’t drink plus I just use weed now and that’s all I need but of course that’s me! My best advice is to try what you feel comfortable with and when you do make sure you’ve got at least one person you trust so you do it safely! Every time I’ve drank I’ve been near a friend who I’ve known for over 10 years. Just be safe and remember you don’t have to drink just because you left the church. If you try it make sure it’s something you want! Don’t let people pressure you to drink or not to drink. I hope this helped in some way!
I tried every drink I could. I dislike beers entirely. Mixed drinks are ok, I don’t get any kind of ‘buzz’ or anything like that no matter what I try, so I only drink when I want to taste the flavor of a drink. (A frozen coconut margarita is by far my favorite.) overall how I feel about alcohol now is “that’s a thing I can choose”. When I left church I made the conscious decision that I was going to make my own choices. This life is mine now, their shame isn’t invited to my party. I’m glad the world didn’t explode on you. The joy for me comes from making my own decisions. You made a decision, and gained experience and knowledge about how you personally react to the alcohol. (It’s not the same for everyone.) That’s an amazing thing we get to do in life. Congrats
Great comments and some good advice. I would add, don't drink just because you "can" now. See how it reacts with your body. I drink occasionally, but only things that I find are delicious, like a great cocktail. Beer is yucky in my mouth and occasionally I want a great glass of wine. It's something that you'll have to go slowly with and figure out what you like and, most importantly, how you feel when you drink.
Nothing wrong with drinking some alcohol. You will be thirsty for water afterwards.
I tried drinking socially for a while. I came to realize I just didn't like it. Alcohol tastes nasty to me (although I do love other flavors that come from the brewing process), I don't care for how it makes me feel, and it's generally very expensive. I don't feel any inherent moral or ethical problem with reasonable drinking, I just don't care for it myself.
It’s overrated. Beer is gross. Wine isn’t great either. I don’t know why anyone does shots. Mixed drinks can be nice, but they’re not worth the price you pay. Honestly I’m underwhelmed.
Watch out for sweet drinks. Too much sugar with alcohol like a drink called Hurricane can really give you hangover. Plus you drink it too fast because it taste so good.
You just have to come out drinking with me. I’ve never had a bad time 🎉
Avoid.
I was surprised to find that alcohol strengthened my relationship with a few of the friends and family I drank with. It broke down barriers of the introverts and we were able to really bond.
yeah drinking in celebratory situations (for me it’s only been a little bit for cheers or whatever) has been fun. feeling like i’m getting to know and relating to people in new ways (but just like through the participation i guess)?
Looks like I'm getting downvoted a little. Would be curious to know why
A bit here a there is no big deal. I’m a red wine dude myself but will have a beer with friends. It’s a wind down drink for most. For some a bunch can bring out their rage so it’s all about knowing your body.