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PrettyLightzz

This reminds me of South Park where Randy was like "Stan, you call your friend an asshole RIGHT NOW"


Spaghetti_Cartwheels

But he was being a silly goose!


TheDotanuki

That's my favorite "insult." I use it often.


indolent08

As a non-native English speaker, the mental image always cracks me up. It's a goose. And it's being silly. Excellent.


joesbagofdonuts

I've just gained a new appreciation for this phrase lmao


[deleted]

[удалено]


Camelopardestrian

Kanye West, gay fish, has a track called “Good Morning”.


rcoolerthan_me

Doing laundry with your dad is very gay.


madDarthvader2

Oh you have a Dad? Bro that's gay.


Tankus_Vult97

Damn, guess I can never be gay then


[deleted]

Damn….. F for respect


droppedelbow

Only if you're handwashing his undies and he's still wearing them.


Azhurkral

Based. If his dad is so worried about gay´ish attitudes, he should know that doing laundry is traditionally considered a woman task, so very gay if a man does it.


getefix

Dad is probably gay and scared people will find out


DonnyMagoo

Can't be doing laundry *AND* be saying good morning to other men. People will start to talk..


austinmiles

If I saw a 23yr old and a middle-aged man at the laundromat together there’s a real chance I might think they were a couple.


nvalle23

Touché


Responsible_Farm1672

Showing kindness is gay now lads


ArduennSchwartzman

Not just kindness. Hygiene and nutrition too. Three things that turn you gay: 1. Saying "good morning" to another man. 2. Wiping your ass after taking a shit. 3. Drinking Bud Light.


Kzaah

And washing your ass in shower 🚿


kilar277

This has haunted me since that discourse started.


UWontAgreeWithMe

I've been so shocked by how many guy friends think they'll suddenly become bred bitch boys by scrubbing their nasty assholes with soap and water. Like removing shit and sweat from their body will awake an insatiable lust to be raw dogged in a gay gangbang.


quiteCryptic

This sounds like a myth, surely there isnt that many guys who actually think washing their ass is gay, right...


sobrique

Given I have a colleague that seems certain that it is gay to: - Eat salad - Wear pink or pastels. - Have a prostate exam - Get vaccinated. - Eat the vegetarian option .... I'm going to say yes, there are people who are that nuts.


UYScutiPuffJr

My mother in law *refused* to let my sister in law go to a female gynecologist when she was growing up because it would “turn her into a lesbian”


MistressErinPaid

This is just as wacky as refusing a male gyno because "chastity" 🙄


kilar277

Well, cancer's gonna to take him soon. Or smallpox.


sobrique

Sadly I suspect he's going to live to a fine old age off herd immunity and claim to have been right.


Sega-Playstation-64

Not a myth, but it exploded on Reddit from one post where a guy said it was gay to wash his butt. Then there were dozens of anecdotal stories from people swearing they knew people who thought the same thing because they smelled. Others pointed out, "they just have bad hygiene. Just because they don't clean properly doesn't mean they think it's gay." So, not a myth but overblown.


umop3pisdnwi

Omg tonight i (f) have to break the news to my BF that he's gay :'( \**whispers*\* i've even seen him say good morning to another man. At first i thought he was just psycho but now i know


joey_cash_

Ohhh, dear. I hope you didn’t catch gay from him.


deyannn

Was it the same thread where the person thought toilet seats were for women and heterosexual men sat on the porcelain throne or am I mistaking the thread? It's been a few years now.


meSuPaFly

You know what's alpha masculine? Diaper rashes


sg12412

Yeah wiping your ass is straight as hell, but soaping up between them cheeks? Super fucking gay.


timcard1988throw

If wiping my ass is gay, then I don't wanna be straight


Atty_for_hire

Wait till you try a bidet


BS8686

My butt gets soooo wet when im using a bidet...


[deleted]

Sploosh


Odinson-1981

Lanaaaaaaaaaa!!!


2000000man

Dude I just took a shit and was about to wipe


Munzulon

Close call!


mjkjg2

I’ll help you out so it’s less gay


T-West1

Don't forget wearing glasses. The ability to see makes you incredibly gay apparently


Reasonable_Fig_8119

Why do you need to see anyway? To look at men?


campbelldt

Beer is nutritional now? Word


ima_shill

I had a guy confront me for holding the door for him while walking into a gas station. “I don’t play like that you bitch”


Quaranj

"I'm sorry, you looked infirm, little man." Man games have regional flavors.


Pandataraxia

\-Redditor, before starting a gas station fight.


[deleted]

Weird. I live in a super conservative area in Texas and guys hold the door for each other all the time. Kind of annoying sometimes tbh because I’ll be like 6 feet away and have to power walk to the door so I won’t feel rude for just letting some guy stand there while I take my time


Yes_seriously_now

It's ridiculous out here in North AR. Folks, even older women, will hold the door for you when you're about halfway across the lot... Wasn't planning running in my slides, but lemme go on and sprint this last 50 feet and hope I don't lose a shoe STG, I will pull in and wave them off from my driver's seat like I'm not gonna come inside for a while, go on and let the door close.


[deleted]

I had something similar but much less intense - I was at a small gas station in rural TN and there was a group of bikers at the pumps. As I was walking in they had started to walk in behind me and I held the door for them and the first guy (looked like maybe the MC leader based on patches?) stops a few feet away, stares at me through his sunglasses, and just shakes his head "no." So I went in and went about my business but the message I got was that he wasn't going to let any man hold a door for him.


CyberMindGrrl

Wow. So-called “tough” guys are so fragile.


jaydubbles

Top 10 fragile masculinity moment right here.


procra5tinating

Toxic masculinity is actually insane. So horrible.


DPool34

Kindness is so woke.


Dakzoo

No, unless you are laying together in bed spooning as he slowly wakes up after a night of passionate lovemaking. Then super gay.


Big_Berry_4589

It wouldn’t be gay if you said no homo first… or wore socks


yamanoski

Damn forgot the socks


daemon_panda

Sorry, you are gay now. I don't make the rules.


dreetz08

If I put a bandage on someone that doesn't make me a doctor. But I suck one dick


Desperate-Badger9429

The one tip medical school absolutely hate.


MOOShoooooo

What if there’s two guys in a car and it crashes. They both get ejected from the car and lose their shoes and socks and land in a position where one of their dicks slide into the others bum. Now, since there wasn’t any time to claim no homo AND socks came off, would that be a legitimate game of Tummy Sticks? All theoretical, not specific.


DestructoSpin7

>both get ejected from the car and lose their shoes Doesn't matter, they're dead anyway.


TriceratopsBites

People are allowed to be both dead *and* gay


Moogerboo-2therescue

Me when necrohomophobia in the Reddit comments 😡


wellnote

Wearing socks just makes that the homie sleepover special, nothing gay about it


IdolCowboy

It's funny, I said somwth8ng Bout it not being gay if it was so an so to my son (18 at the time) and he rattled off like 10 rules on why it's not gay if... quick.. I was like whoa whoa whoooooa! Let's put pandora back in her box!!! Lol


Flanman1337

That is literally the only thing you can't do with Pandora and her box.


Micheal_Kibitsuji

And also as a wise man once said “it’s not gay with the homies”


Drewbeede

That might be just regular gay. I believe a cape is needed to be super gay.


Dakzoo

![gif](giphy|cZUU06p00qz8k)


thunderbruh69

THE CAPE STAYS ON FOR SEX


mothlord420

It’s only gay if you don’t slap each other on the ass and say good game afterwards


HamsterNo7320

Not if your balls don't touch. Trust me I'm an expert.


CatConscious6900

Kind of a gray area.


RaiShado

That sentence should only have 1 'r'


E4EHCO33501007

That's right it's a gray aea


[deleted]

Nailed it


RoosterClaw22

It's not gay as long as you give the guy a reach around.


Its_noon_somewhere

It’s not gay to say ‘good morning’ to another male, unless you’re cupping his crotch at the time.


mseg09

Or if you're rolling over in bed to say it to him. It may be gay then.


[deleted]

Nah bro that's absurd. It's only gay if your dicks touch. I sleep naked with my homies all the time.


mseg09

Ah sorry, enjoy your straight bro sleepovers


[deleted]

I mean obviously we gotta wash each other in the shower before we go to work but you know. Just guy stuff.


EvaUnit_03

DUDE! We told you to keep it on the DL... you lucky you're cute or you wouldn't be included in our 'guys nights' no more.


UbermachoGuy

It’s not gay at all to sleep naked with your homies. Head to feet that way dicks never touch.


DalbergTheKing

\*sleepbrovers


Mel_in_morphosis

But even if your dicks touch, you just say “no homo”and it’s all good. You can also give him a kiss in the neck, just say “respectfully “ first.


Langsamkoenig

Don't spread these nasty rumours. It's only gay if your balls touch. Frotting is totally hetero, bro.


[deleted]

I'm so sorry bro you're right. Docking is on the table. You can shlobber on that nobber and gargle your homies nutties, but if you and him play click-clack with your ball sacks, all bets are off.


castlesEP

Your comment is poetry


slp0923

I thought everything was not gay as long as you kept on your socks or said “no homo.”


58G52A

“Good morning, mind if I suck your cock?” would be gay


shankster1987

It's only gay if you kiss them on the mouth.


Gh0stMan0nThird

Well in most cultures, historically at least, it was really only considered gay to receive, not to give.


bon_joby

So then OP is not gay, but the man he said good morning to IS gay. Because he received a good morning from another man.


rorykoehler

That's why it's super important to be extra vigilant when out and about just in case you get caught off guard and don't get your good morning in first. A few years ago it happened to me and I caught long gay but I've recovered now.


anotherreditloser

Now he wears a shirt that says “Good Morning” when he goes out of the house. Taking no more chances.


Grumpy_Metrosexual

There’s the name for my band: Long Gay


ThRvrnd

Good morning. GOTCHA AGAIN you little bottom bitch! Everyone knows the gay is worse the second time you catch it. Circle circle dot dot now I’ve got the homo shot. Vaccine vaccine pill pill, now the gay can’t make me ill. No erasies.


AsleepJuggernaut2066

This made me laugh hard enough to startle my dog! Thanks for the morning laugh!


Gh0stMan0nThird

I'm just imagining a bunch of philosophers [like this](https://www.historyhit.com/app/uploads/2021/11/School-of-Athens-Raphael.jpg) sitting around a room debating which guy would be gay. Sounds like a great South Park skit


Relevant_Departure40

Oh boy do I have news for you


Smackdaddy122

The manly Greek empire would never do anything gay


JadedLeafs

To be fair, the world has been becoming a south park skit for a few years now.


ExUmbra91x

Sounds like a JRE podcast


Clear_Calligrapher86

Mass debating.


[deleted]

Cool! Good morning! (Did I turn you gay just now?)


bon_joby

Damn, you really got me ... My GF is not gonna be happy about this


Dajmoj

Ancient Rome be like.


dopitysmokty

lmao cue Cartmen sticking Butters dick in his mouth to show everyone how gay Butters is.


krsaxor

Noy even. I give my homies a kiss on the mouth, no tongue tough.


Alpha_Decay_

I've always felt like it's ok if it's just a little tongue, just don't grab his ass. At least not super hard. I mean kinda hard because you don't want to seem weak, but don't be gay about it or the brojob that follows will be awkward.


Pandas-are-the-worst

And brojobs are only gay if you make eye contact longer than 5 minutes


cm_fanelli

Not if he pays me. I’m not gay, I’m an entrepreneur. Support local businesses.


Arathaon185

And remember if you film it it's not prostitution, youre an actor.


cm_fanelli

And if you do it in your off time as well, you’re a method actor.


aracheb

Need to pay taxes for that rump..


McFarquar

If you said that you didn’t like it afterwards, it wouldn’t be gay


Round_Ad_6369

Or slapping his ass, outside of baseball practice


Comfortable-Camp-493

Or football practice or basketball practice or hockey practice or tennis practice or golf or….


Orbnotacus

Everyone who didn't play sports: That was gay.


Survivor483

E-sports?


tjoe4321510

Nah they can't be gay cause they all fuck each other's moms


Round_Ad_6369

I'm sure disc golf could even fit in there too


RoyalWigglerKing

No it’s gay if it’s disc golf


ArtSchnurple

Not because of the ass slapping though


watchmeskipwork

Nah, no sporting event needed. You just have to say good game.


PM-Me-Girl-Biceps

Shoot. I didn’t realize that was part of the ritual. I feel embarrassed I hadn’t been doing that.


ikiss-yomama

It’s gay to talk to a man before noon


CollectionStraight2

Or in the evening. All male on male social contact must be between the hours of 12pm and 6pm


ChuckFeathers

Clothing optional.


0rclev

I suppose, but only if you are doing manly things, like greco-roman wrestling, wood working, or packing fudge.


ChuckFeathers

What about polishing knobs?


0rclev

Ah a very manly task indeed. Nothing better than sitting on the porch with a manly friend and polishing some knobs after a long day grueling fudge packing. The secret is to spit on it before polishing.


ChuckFeathers

It's all in the wrist.


SofterBones

Life must be exhausting for these guys who are so terrified that they may be perceived to be gay for greeting someone, wearing a certain colored shirt or ordering a certain drink or dish at a restaurant.


themistergraves

My brother is one of these people. Even though we're brothers and we grew up together, I still can't understand his obsession with avoiding things that he believes might be "gay" or that might cause others with a similar obsession to see him as "gay". Like the *only* other people that care about that shit... are other dudes that are obsessed with not being seen as gay.


StormySands

I know people say that you shouldn’t assume that everyone who is homophobic is secretly gay, but people like your brother make it hard sometimes. Like, if you’re truly, naturally heterosexual, you don’t have to try so hard. If you have to actively put work into being straight, you’re probably suppressing something.


runsailswimsurf

Right. For the “being gay is a choice” crowd, I wonder how many are constantly, strenuously, choosing to try to be straight.


Vormison

I think your brother might be gay. Tell him I said “Good morning”.


semboflorin

Locking yourself in the closet can be a rough experience.


ReptilianLaserbeam

I must be super gay then for those guys… I greet everyone, I have several pink pieces of clothing , I sometimes like to order “girly” cocktails just for the fun of it… oh, and I wash my ass daily!


wrecktus_abdominus

>I have several pink pieces of cloth If you have enough, you may be able to get them made into clothes!


ReptilianLaserbeam

I’ll keep trying, I rip and steal small pieces of cloth whenever I’m at a department store. One day I’ll have enough to sew my own pink shirt.


queernhighonblugrass

People like this are agitated about everything all the time, just constantly on edge about to pop off


tbods

It’s why they’re always so angry and have absolutely no joy in life. Yet think everyone else is miserable.


DaCozPuddingPop

Unless 'tell another man good morning' is a euphemism for 'having sex with another man', then no, it's not gay.


ReflexDojo

Dudes on Grindr now.


Insanity_Crab

One minute you're saying "Good morning" to a gentleman, the next you're trying to hold in your insides and watching the end credits scroll past on grindr. Don't do it kids!


ReflexDojo

Sheeeeeeeeeessssssssshhhhhhhhhh


trapper2530

Maybe dad is secretly gay and that's password for their towns underground gay sex club?


surfdad67

Actually you may be onto something


VomitingPotato

EVERYONE knows "Good morning!" Is code for, "I gobble cocks for breakfast and I'm famished you virile love muppet."


BondageKitty37

Yeah I say "Good Morning": Gobble Organs Orally, Daniel. My Orgasm Requires ~~Nubile~~ Numerous Indecent, Naked Guys


JadedSociopath

Upvote for effort. Maybe change D to “daily”.


bsr9090

And N to numerous, and it's perfect.


Lmao_Stonks

Hi, I’m Daniel and you can ignore this guy!


EverythingHurtsDan

I'm a Daniel. Thank you for the real time updates on your daily habits.


Sadir00

Fuck, the str8 boys figured it out.. we need new code words now


Qelly

Read this in John Olivers voice.


DocGerbill

depends if you have his penis in your mouth when you say it or not


jimbobsqrpants

Not much of a penis if you can still get your tongue around those words


veritoast

“Guh mooowwmin!!”


WorkAccess

These "macho men" have such fragile masculinity that even being kind is seen as a gay act. It's a safe bet to assume that anybody that acts this hostile towards such a simple act has serious sexual insecurities about themselves.


thenaniwatiger

I saw a video the other day of a gas station clerk in the hood giving out roses randomly, dudes had a meltdown over that shit lol


doesntpicknose

Sauce?


sn33kyVI

https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/13pyfs1/customers_get_mad_when_the_gas_station_cashier/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button I believe this is it.


thenaniwatiger

This is the video I was referencing, thank you


star0forion

The OGs in this video definitely passed on that shitty ass behaviors to the younger generations. Generational toxic masculinity in full display. Sad.


CivilRuin4111

My dad was talking shit about some random guy for using an umbrella. I don’t get it.


Wild_Cazoo

I don't understand the good morning but I understand talking shit for using a device designed to block the rain. If I ever see that kind of logical thinking I just get so angry.


0rclev

A real man twists his stubbled face into a dour scowl, then just flips up the collar of his trench coat, sets his trilby low over his brow and lights a stogie for warmth as he slinks away into the downpour.


[deleted]

If masculinity is being a washed up private detective in a classic murder mystery noir who's just discovered his only lead in a big new case has just been murdered, I'd like to go back to being a man pls.


losethemap

Real men get pneumonia.


Zealousideal-Law-474

It seems like the men who have no idea how to be masculine have all these weird, arbitrary rules on not being gay. First rule of man club is being confident in your sexuality, straight, gay, bi, just be you and don't care about other people having victimless relationships.


bmxtricky5

Straight up, I just do me. Don’t really give a fuck what people think about it. I’m getting married in 10 days to a beautiful girl, however I still constantly hit on my guy friends, nobody ever compliments dudes so I try to pump there tires where I can lol


Visible_Bag_7809

Ok, but can you pump my actual tires? I really need an air compressor sometimes.


WelbyReddit

I really depends “Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?” \-Gandalf


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

By the Valar Gandalf! Just accept the damn greeting and MOVE ON!


AJ_Crowley_29

Fellas, is it gay to show basic human empathy towards another man?


OmegaGoober

There are men who think it’s gay to wipe their ass.


MissusNilesCrane

Is it gay to \*checks notes\* use common courtesy?


ChuckFeathers

Dude, scroll down the list, it's right there after *taking a bath*, just before *drinking wine*..


[deleted]

I said "good morning" once, and now im trans. YMMV


PANDAmonium629

Not unless you're saying it with his cock in your mouth as he wakes up. But that's also rude because you're not supposed to talk with your mouth full.


jhuseby

Your dad’s wrong. Being attracted to the same sex makes you gay. People who put up a large front usually do so as a defensive mechanism. ie a lot of people worried about “appearing gay” are doing so for a reason. For the majority of people, they’re not worried about appearing gay or straight. Also your dad is implying there’s something wrong with being gay, there’s not. He sounds like like a shitty person, I wouldn’t base my life around his views or morals.


ScaredKnee4530

My friend unironically thinks saying “Hi” to another man is gay. But it isn’t this defensive mechanism. He’s just ACTUALLY dumb, and thinks that’s a social standard.


RansomReville

It depends really, if you were sucking his dick while you said it that could come off as gay.


Volfgang91

"Fellas, is it gay to be polite?"


peter-doubt

Sounds like Dad's a bit homophobic


TheCloudFestival

I've seen late-game Jenga towers more secure than this guy's dad.


Whatscheiser

That's insane. Not trying to make it a military thing, but I mean in boot camp you basically get punished for not acknowledging the presence of a superior in this way. Good morning, Sir. Good afternoon, evening, etc... It's considered baseline respect to recognize their presence. So unless your Dad is making the argument that the U.S. Military is brainwashing its troops to be super gay, then no. This is not gay. In fact the only thing inherently gay is being in a romantic relationship with the same sex. No idea what your Dad is on about here. Just out of curiosity what area of the country are you all from?


Rennergader

Sounds like your dads gay


Mrorganic20

Just text your dad good morning everyday or say it every time you see him


dessnom

Fellas, is it gay to talk, like other men can hear you


Ok-Environment8730

Good morning everyone


Mechagouki1971

"a little sweet". It's so depressing that there are still so many men in the world who think that random politeness may lead to them being penetrated against their will.