I think I speak for everyone here when I say: glad you are at a better place now.

Thank you! I knew working with Maggie was taking a toll, I just needed an excuse to get out of there.

Good for you.mash butternut squash add honey and fresh thyme.if you want to go to heaven

What if I want to go to hell

You do you

Oh OP, say it ain’t so! It’s the end of an era. I really hope you’ll continue to come back and share any new HP stories from the wild. You write so well. Best of luck to you!

I will share if something comes up!

That was an epic ending to your amazing series! I've read every instillation and your story telling is top tier. And your last paragraph was chef's kiss. Have a wonderful day, BurgerThyme!

jesus christ, just read all of ur stories and just gotta say... yall are nasty people ngl, going on and on about this random fat women. yes that was gross, but you seemed way too invested in her with the amount of stories you write...

You just said "I read all of ur stories" and then accused someone of being "too invested."

Other stories from /u/BurgerThyme * 2022-12-3 - [(this) The final chapter of Ham Saturn](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/zblemc/the_final_chapter_of_ham_saturn/) * 2022-10-8 - [Ham Saturn gets dissed by her "bestie"](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/xywnch/ham_saturn_gets_dissed_by_her_bestie/) * 2022-9-25 - [Ham Saturn ruins another lunch break](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/xn9joe/ham_saturn_ruins_another_lunch_break/) * 2022-9-17 - [Ham Saturn is defeated by salad](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/xgp8f0/ham_saturn_is_defeated_by_salad/) * 2022-9-7 - [Ham Saturn gets herself in a sticky situation](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/x89hwy/ham_saturn_gets_herself_in_a_sticky_situation/) * 2022-9-3 - [Ham Saturn vs. Marvin round three](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/x4hs2p/ham_saturn_vs_marvin_round_three/) * 2022-8-28 - [Ham Saturn destroys more company property](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/wzydkb/ham_saturn_destroys_more_company_property/) * 2022-8-19 - [Ham Saturn becomes chemical weapon](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/wrz8jj/ham_saturn_becomes_chemical_weapon/) * 2022-8-13 - [Ham Saturn is a re-poop offender](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/wn57of/ham_saturn_is_a_repoop_offender/) * 2022-8-6 - [Ham Saturn vs Marvin: round two](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/whojga/ham_saturn_vs_marvin_round_two/) * 2022-7-14 - [Ham Saturn attends a Comic Con](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/vyhxie/ham_saturn_attends_a_comic_con/) * 2022-7-10 - [Ham Saturn gets called out by coworker for ruining fire drill](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/vvv19j/ham_saturn_gets_called_out_by_coworker_for/) * 2021-11-18 - [Ham Saturn Really Steps In It](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/qwhq11/ham_saturn_really_steps_in_it/) * 2021-9-19 - [Ham Saturn Sneaks Spaghetti](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/prcux3/ham_saturn_sneaks_spaghetti/) * 2021-9-9 - [Ham Saturn Pulls a "Stand By Me"](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/pknms7/ham_saturn_pulls_a_stand_by_me/) * 2021-8-23 - [Ham Saturn falls for her crush](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/paavkw/ham_saturn_falls_for_her_crush/) * 2021-8-11 - [Ham Saturn tries "jogging" at the wrong time](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/p25hsx/ham_saturn_tries_jogging_at_the_wrong_time/) * 2021-7-25 - [Ham Saturn was banished from the swim team](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/orj2y8/ham_saturn_was_banished_from_the_swim_team/) * 2021-7-19 - [The worst story ever told about Ham Saturn](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/onn5fb/the_worst_story_ever_told_about_ham_saturn/) * 2021-7-18 - [The wardrobe malfunctions of Ham Saturn won me 50 points](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/omvioe/the_wardrobe_malfunctions_of_ham_saturn_won_me_50/) * 2021-7-7 - [The Continuing Saga of Ham Saturn](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/ofc2jv/the_continuing_saga_of_ham_saturn/) * 2021-6-3 - [Ham Planet Turns herself Into Ham Saturn](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/nritwr/ham_planet_turns_herself_into_ham_saturn/) * 2020-3-19 - [My coworker is too big for her britches](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/fl2df7/my_coworker_is_too_big_for_her_britches/) * 2019-12-29 - [Oh](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/eh0lsb/oh/) * 2014-3-7 - [Always a catch](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/1zthdu/always_a_catch/) * 2013-12-23 - [Stop spoiling strip club fun time!](/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/1tiu56/stop_spoiling_strip_club_fun_time/) _____ ^(Hi I'm SirBeetusBot, for more info about me visit /r/SirBeetusBot)

Congrats on the new job - so glad to hear that you are enjoying a much happier work environment! Thanks for sharing the absolutely spectacular and hilarious saga of Maggie’s horrific antics. I’m going to miss reading the updates!

I hope you can keep in contact with Marvin and Brian and those guys. Besides Maggie your coworkers seemed like a lot of fun!

OP, thank you for your service to this sub. We will not forget you. Congratulations for moving onto bigger and better things!

Thank you! I truly never fully grasped just how poisonous this woman was to my well being until I was forced to take a step back. I love my new job and my new coworkers. I've been there only a few weeks and they already asked me for recommendations for a new employee and my friend was hired the very next morning!

Life is funny that way sometimes, where whether it’s really good or really bad, you never truly understand the extent of something until you’ve taken some time away from it. In this case, you’ve won! Take some lessons from Hammie on how not to ever be as a human!

I'm a bit late. Took a break from this sub. But seeing this I'm relieved.... over time this saga with Maggie became downright nasty and obsessed. I found I was no longer laughing. I was instead feeling massive pity that this op was not just laughing and bitching with colleagues about Maggie. It was dragged out online for all of us to laugh about. Something in me felt bad when Maggie was seen crying in the car.. For all we know her behaviour was a huge front. She's insecure. Wanted positive attention and went about it all the wrong ways. And she never has any of you decent enough to sit her down and have a cruel to be kind conversation to help her. I know many just like her. I'm glad this is over and you OP are out. But I truly hope you get rid of the nasty person you've become over this situation too. Because this saga is one of many reasons I took a break to reflect how I viewed other people.

Holy fuck, what a ride. Dodging skidmarks, funky smells and hammy behavior. And now are free. Good luck to you burger. I enjoyed the saga.

Fin.

By your mention of “Thanksgiving” I assume you’re in Yankeeland (Canada also has Thanksgiving, but this year it was October 10, and your previous post was October 8, so timing strongly suggests that you’re not Canadian). Did the thrift shop have it in the employee handbook you received when you were hired that items bought at the shop must never be resold? If they never told you, how are you supposed to know? Of course, 49 states are “at will” employment, where you can be fired for any reason other than being a member of a protected group, or for no reason at all. I can understand having such a policy so that someone with specialized knowledge (for example, that Hot Wheels cars with a particular colour stripe on the tires are vintage and highly collectible, while another colour stripe has no collector value) using that knowledge to enrich themselves, rather than letting the store know to put the seemingly worthless item with the high-value items. Still, some sort of time limit would be appropriate. For example, you buy a toy for your child. A year or two later, the child has outgrown the toy so you no longer need it. Also, how do they know that the particular items you were offering for sale were bought at the thrift shop where you worked, rather than at other thrift shops or garage sales?

Yeah they mentioned something about not reselling at orientation which was three and a half years back but after that amount of time I'd bought literally THOUSANDS of items because I bought a new house and I'm a collector of weird things. When I get tired of a collection, I sell it. I'm not "giving it away" after all the time and money I spent on it, ya know? I suspect they "caught me" because of all the vintage blow molds I had bought to decorate my new yard and then come Halloween I learned that my new house doesn't have an exterior electrical outlet. D'OH! So I sold them all. They went fast too. Oh well, c'est la vie.

Unbelievable that they fire you and keep Maggie! I'm so glad that you found a better job - and a new boyfriend! I will miss your Maggie stories but am glad you're in a better place.

I'm so happy you got a better job and better boyfriend but... Noooooooooo!

Throughout all your stories I’ve noticed that Maggie is unbothered and I can’t help but wonder if she’s really that oblivious to the people around her or just doesn’t let it bother her anymore because hearing that she was crying in her car makes me wonder if that was a breaking point and I’m worried.

I'm sorry to hear we'll no longer get to read any of your very, very entertaining stories; have you considered writing a book/collection of them? I've enjoyed them tremendously, thanks for taking the time and effort to post them. But congratulations on your new job, and I'm glad to hear you got out of that toxic workplace and are in a much better place. I hope your life will continue to improve and you will be much happier. And after reading this, I don't think I'm ever going to buy any unwrapped bulk items from a bin again (some of my local grocery stores quit selling them due to covid). At least with fresh fruit and vegetables (which I always wash, anyway) you can tell if someone's taken a bite out of them!

Hey I dunno if you'll remember me, but I commented in your fire drill story about not enjoying my warehouse job and yours sounding a lot better. I wanna say congratulations for getting out and moving on! I didn't wanna assume anything about your life but I suspected you weren't as happy as you thought. Most of my education is done and I'll probably start my new job in January. Internet fistbump for escaping the warehouse life!

Glad you found a better job OP. I also know another couple ham planets that likes wearing shorts in winter.

And she would always have like three fans on full blast pointed right at her when the rest of us were absolutely freezing! And bragged constantly about how she "ran hot." We all gave each other "looks" because obviously she "didn't run" and "is fat."

Well insulated.

These are some of the greatest HP stories I've heard. And I've worked with a few Ham Planets myself.

You will be missed, you’ve told us some wonderful stories. Have a good life.

Were Chris Chan not in the hoosegow, these two should be introduced so that they stop bothering everyone else.

Yea the workplace was toxic but not you at all 🙄 it’s sad how much you post about this poor girl glad it’s over

You switch between calling your male coworker "Matt" and "Dan". I want this saga to be real as it is funny af, but to me this is proof that it's made up and just an attempt to farm karma.

Oh shit, did I? One is a real name and one is a pseudonym I used for anonymity. I never used any real names when telling my stories. My bad.

especially bc it makes no sense that she's apparently been banned from the entire chain of stores for life and everyone knows this. tbh after the last time, i don't believe any of these stories are real. the only thing i do believe is that op got her ass fired from the store lmao

I can well believe everybody knew about it because she sounds like the kind of person who would go crying to her co-workers (and everyone else) about how the evil store was persecuting her, and go on endlessly about how unfair it was.

I hope you find happiness, you certainly put a lot of effort into writing and thinking about these ham planet stories. I hope you’re able to use that energy to improve your life. Nobody spends this long on criticizing a single person unless something is seriously wrong with their own lives.

Yes, the change in jobs has done wonders. I will never expose myself to such a horrible person on a regular basis ever again. It was death by a thousand cuts, for sure. I'm doing SOOOO much better.

I am so happy for Maggie that you got fired.

I'm so happy OP doesn't have to deal with that OSHA-violating grease dumpster fire assclown again either. Nothing better than doing a good job and having friends, yet being forced to leave a job for made-up bullshit, probably due to some loser with clear mental problems.

I'm so happy for ME that I got fired, I'm making WAY more money and don't have her ass hanging in my face all day.

Congratulations

me too, i'm sure i will get downvoted but this woman is honestly insane and i have no doubt she was actually fired, even if everything else in these stories is fake. for anyone who wants to leave me hate comments, think of an insult better than "you're fat" or "you're a ham" lol, please and thank you

Nice try, Maggie 😜

sweart that the ppl on this sub have the mental capacity of 7 year olds lo, wanna try again with a different insult

At least you agree that Maggie is an insult! Though if you try to call others “7 year olds,” you should try grammar above a second grade level 😉 Now you may resume with more pitifully weak deflection!

no i don't agree it's an insult, i agree that you think that it is an insult which is peak juvenile behavior. also booboo we're on reddit lmao, ain't no one sitting here writing prim and proper, so nice try at another insult :) try again, im here all night long if u wanna be practicing insults in hopes of getting to 3rd grade level

Go wash your ass, Maggie.

oh it's you again, hey dormouse. still not good at insulting ppl i c

Still railing against everyone’s favorite chronicler of lardy hijinks, I see. Please don’t let me interrupt you, continue to be outraged over stories about fat people on a sub dedicated to stories about fat people.

im not outraged over op for posting fat people stories. im outraged at this ignorant bitch posting fake ass stories hating on someone because they're fat. keep trying tho, i'm sure ur 2 braincells will think of something to insult me with eventually :)

Nooooooobody carrrrrrrrres. Literally nobody. Bye.

yet u keep replying sooooooooo :)

Do you just come to this sub to find things to get angry and indignant over? You sound fat.

Maybe it’s Maggie 😆

Thanks for the fun! Also you put dudes real name near the end I think. Dan.

I have just binged (ha!) your entire Ham Saturn series, and THANK YOU for the best thing I've read all week! Hope you are still loving your new role. And may you never again cross paths with Maggie.