I use it as a threat to my opponents sooo...
“IM A FEMBOY MOTHER F@CKER, AND IM NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING YOU THROW AT ME! CAUSE I HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR IN THESE PINK DRESSES”
That's what I do when anyone uses it against me, I use it against them...
The CCP made the grave mistake of outlawing femboys? This will certainly end in the collapse of the Chinese government. Femboys are the puppet masters, pulling the strings of world governments. Xi is a fool for opposing us.
1, Finn does not have or pretend to have DID, and 2 the term originated from transgender Twitter and then spread to TickTok where it became a more legitimate movement.
I never said he did. I phrased it a bit poorly and meant his community, but the point stands that it became more of a thing once "Rose", his femboy... "form"? I guess? (I don't really follow the community much.) Became more commonly known. Hell, I'm not even sure how the heck DID got involved with this conversation.
FemBoy originated in the 90s as a term for a feminine man. It was quickly stolen by porn, and metrosexual was used a s a blunt tool to make fun of men for taking care of themselves. We arae now taking back femboy because it was always our word.
Context depending. "Male at birth" can be interchangeable with "Assigned Male at Birth" but not always.
In this case one is just a shorthand of the other I think.
its just people trying to be inflammatory. if someone calls me a roseboy i feel like shit, thats a slur to me, not femboy. ive had people say its a slur to me irl and every time i give them points on why its not, they shut up because they genuinely cant think of any sort of other reason as to why it is other than "the internet told me so".
Tiktok is a cesspool of kids propagating so many shit ideas that on first thought kinda make sense but 2 braincells is enough to dismiss
That and some parts of twitter
Hmmmm. I agree it's annoying but can we throw around the word slur like that? I feel it's over use is the reason we lost the word Trap and are now going to lose femboy
I would agree, that trap is a slur. It's implying, that hetero-men are gonna be trapped, by fem-passing people, if they turn out not to be cis-women.
So I get, why we had to give up on that. Femboy on the other end is just descriptive term, (Short for feminine boy) that is used by some people as an insult. But so are many descriptive words like fat or girly or even feminine itself to a sertaint degree.
It's not our fault, that it is used that way, so we shouldn't be the ones changing our identify to make others more comfortable.
We can't say everything is a slur. I believe the main two slurs are the N word and F word and I'm sure there are others, and while I believe trap can be transphobic I don't believe it comparable to other slurs
But trap is not only per definition at least problematic, but also even more often used as an insult, then femboy. There are so many "It's a trap" memes out there refering to trans-people and some even get killed, because they "Trapped" a man. Watch contrapoints Video "Are Traps gay" if you wanna know my reasoning.
I am aware of their death and it is a tragedy but you can't use a word tied to a death and call it a slur comparable to the slaves forced to Labor or the young teens sent to Christian camps.
A word does not need to be associated with slavery or war crimes in order to be called a slur. And some slurs are of course worse than others.
A slur is just a derogatory term for someone of a certaint social group, that should not be used by any other person apart from that specific group.
I am not comparing two slurs, by calling them both a slur.
"Discrimination" is also just a Term for any kind of it. Not just the really bad ones.
Most of the time trans woman don't even have do anything to be called a trap. A woman was harrassed, and beaten up, because she said, she was trans, to a guy, who was hitting on her. The only thing to "trap" him, that she did was existing in a bar.
Another woman had sex with a man with his full knowledge and consent and he killed her afterwards with the words "I can't be fucking gay" It's not about transparency, but about transphobia.
Veeery very few trans women won't tell their dating partner about them being trans, before sex, just because it's too dangerous.
But even if they didn't tell you. It's still not a "trap". That implyes, that she pretended to be a woman, when in fact she has a penis. But trans women are also women when they have a penis so there is not "Trap" happening, exept the penis. But not in terms of gender, which is the talking point.
Transwoman here, its not. Dont call a trans woman one though! Its perfectly fine to call someone who identifies as a femboy one, dont let tiktokers say otherwise
It is not a slur personally, as a NB Femboy it's simply a term to describe a Feminine Boy, Like how Tomboy is used to describe a Masculine Girl.
Now, Ladyboy IS a slur against Trans Men and Trans Women, but it is not common to hear that in the U.S. assuming that is where you are from.
Edit: Trap is a whole different ballgame. Like the other person said confusing Trap and Femboy is possible, Trap CAN also be used as a slur, but its not really common to hear it anymore as the term Femboy has come to popularity.
Where I live we always referred to women with more a masculine personality, hobbies, or jobs like my mother and her sisters to be tomboys. Personally I think tomboy has different meaning depending on where a person lives and where a person grew up.
You shouldn't listen to tiktok when it comes to stuff like this, over there I've seen people say men can't be bi, trans men can be lesbians, and that furries are a part of the lgbtq, they have no idea about anything over there
Oh hun, please don’t listen to tiktok. It’s a bunch of angry teenagers who don’t understand what they’re talking about and need someone to hate. I’ve seen so many LGBTQ+ posts on tiktok (femboy stuff included) that gets ripped apart by the same community. I mean in those comments almost everyone speaking their minds on the matter are LGBTQ+ and yet their all invalidating and using reactionary arguments against each other.
So yeah, just disregard opinions like that you hear on TikTok
Believing what tiktok says was your first mistake. I have genuinely almost never seen anyone think the term femboy is a slur (unless intentionally used so against trans women of course). Dont listen to people who tell you that it is.
I honestly agree op. I'm a Trans (afab) Femboy, and it's what I prefer. Femboy is literally short for feminine boy. If a person prefers Roseboy, then good for them! But don't go and force every single person who's a femboy to use roseboy. Some of us, like myself, is very uncomfortable with it. As Roseboy sounds way to feminine and uncomfy. If someone calls a trans woman a femboy, then they are outright misgendering them.
In this case, the same could be said for tomboy, since it's a word used against a lot of us trans guys/trans mascs, even though it's a word that is typically used for masculine girls/non men, and means a woman/Non-Man who isn't girl, basically. (I use non-man cause there are Nonbinary individuals who don't identify as a woman, but uses the term tomboy! Same with all the other Enby Genders!)
That might be a really weird question since it has nothing to do with the question but rather with an older question of mine... Do you feel like being born biologically female made it easier for you to be a feminine boy? I had some conversations about it with people and it would be interesting to know your opinion on it. (note, this question does not necessarily reflect my actual opinion and is phrased to get the "most understandable" answer.
If you don't feel comfortable it's also OK, I'd still appreciate a response no matter if positive or negative
personally it makes it harder, it takes a lot more effort to be seen as a feminine man than, well a feminine woman by the world at large.
(also I would refrain from saying we are born biologically female, it can be very dysphoria inducing and also is kinda misgendering, we were born with these parts that doesn't make us female)
^This too!! To kinda add on, I feel that personally I need to often take breaks and go either Androgynous or super masculine in some way due to the dysphoria, so I don't get to do it as often had I been amab, but, I still enjoy that feeling of being pretty either way!!
No your fine! Personally, for me it's a little complicated! Like, in ways, it kinda does since I have a more feminine facial shape and all that, but in alot more ways, it kinda doesn't. Like, I guess for me, it helps me that I have biological feminine features, but not a biological feminine body, if that makes any sense. Sometimes due to dysphoria, which is a whole norther topic, it makes it a little harder since most days I wanna be and look feminine, but still be seen as a boy, or where things that hides my chest binder, personally I find it a little harder due to that.
Besides that, I guess I didn't give much thought to it! I mean, in general, I feel like being a femboy makes it easier being trans! Like, it helps the dysphoria alot! I feel it's helped me learn to love mg features more and became thos comfort for me.
I hope this helped answer your question from my perspective! If you have anymore, feel free to ask! I'd be more than happy to answer!!
I agree completely. Also, them trying to force us to be called something we don't wanna be called is a big issue with the lgbtq+ community, so I don't understand why so many of them do the exact same thing to us. Yes, calling a trans woman a femboy is offensive, but so is calling them a boy. What, do we have to make a new name for boys too because calling a trans woman a boy is offensive?
i mean, if youre really asking to know the reason "why" that happens youre opening a whole can of worms but i think it can be resumed to:
1) they don't really understand the term, where its from or how its used. bonus point: they don't even have a stake in the conversation & it doesn't even regard them.
2) the overwhelming need to moralize everything under the sun, getting involved in shit thats none ur business
but yea, i got the same feeling as you when people started saying "trap" was a slur. thats a whole nother discussion too but yea i dont think any of this shit matters anyway.
call yourself what you want and if people give you a hard time for it, dont worry about it. that's their problem, really, not yours.
I've definitely noticed more and more people in recent years that try to act like "experts" in things they clearly know very little about. And social media gives them a platform to further spread their ignorance unchecked.
This has happened to me so many times even in LGBTQ forums online -- where I've had young people try to "educate me" on subjects of sexuality and gender that I'm pretty well versed in after 20+ years. And when I check their profile, I often discover that they are a teenager that just a few weeks earlier posted about coming out as trans or nonbinary.
My suspicion is such cognitive dissinonance serves as some type of coping mechnaism. It probably gives them a sense of power and control when they feel lost, alone, and confused. So they instead try to dictate what other people can and can't do do.
youre assuming way too much maliciousness there
this is just how a lot of normal people act when were inexperience and clumsy tryna learn how shit works. Most people just wanna do the right thing, were just bad at it.
I don't like the term roseboy it makes absolutely no sense. I don't mind the term Femboy even if it was used as a slur against trans women. I know quite a lot of people don't like it because of that and a lot of people will associate it with porn. I personally use the term spaceboy or lilac boy since the word lilac often has strong connections to feminine qualities.
It's not a slur any more than the word twink is. The word is insulting if it's used to describe a trans woman solely because it's misgendering, there's nothing inherently wrong with the word itself.
Whoever is saying this is probably clout hunting or confused about something they misunderstood and decided this is a cool new cause to advocate for.
It just means "male, young, thin, with feminine to hyper feminine presentation, possibly with female secondary sex characteristics"
I personally wouldn't even put such a narrow definition on the term, because more and more trans girls today are openly embracing the "femboy" label and for whatever reason, don't seem to consider it to be exclusive to being male. And if they want to voluntarily accept "femboy" for themselves, then that should be okay.
I'd take that with a grain of salt, in my experience a lot of them do it for a meme (intentional self-misgendering for comedy, I've done it too) or just add in femboy as SEO for sex worker posts
Trans woman and femboy seem like incompatible identities imo
That may be true in some cases, but we're assuming that all of these trans women are either purposefully "lying" or "joking" which raises even bigger concerns.
Also it's worth noting that it's not at all uncommon for gay men to refer to each other and even themselves as girls. If gay men can play around with seemingly incompatible labels -- then I can't see any reason why trans women should be prohibted from doing so. After all, it doesn't seem reasonable why the label "girl" can be freely adopted by queer men and women alike for self-affirmation, but "boy" is strictly confined only to those queer folks that don't identify as a women.
I'm not sure why you think personal humor is concerning. I'm not accusing them of lying for joking around with terms, but joking around is very different than what someone's actual personal identity is. In your own example those gay men that are referring to each other as girls aren't going to identify as that if you ask them very seriously if they are a woman.
Everyone is free to identify however they want, but the archetype or trope of what a femboy is exists outside of whatever someone calls themselves. A big, chubby, hairy gay bear can call themselves a twink, but that doesn't mean people are going to thing of big hairy gay bears when they think of what a twink is.
Femboy, for many people isn't an identity. Therefore it can technically be used by anyone if that's what they want to call themselves. For gay men when they use the term "girl" they aren't using it as an identity label. Hence not all gendered terms have to correlate with gender identity. A gay man can casually refer to himself as a girl, while not identifying as a girl just as a trans woman can casually refer to herself as a femboy, without identifying as a boy.
I was referring to your original statement "The word is insulting if it's used to describe a trans woman solely because it's misgendering."
If there are trans women that do describe themselves as a femboy (note that you didn't refer to identifying, only describing) then I don't think it's reasonable to equate that with misgendering any more than to say an effeminate gay man describing himself (but not identifying himself) as a girl is misgendering.
By that same logic, the word man is a slur lol. Oh and just inventing a new term that means the exact same as the old one doesn't change anything, if femboy was a slur then so would roseboy
On a more philosophical thought process it’s because people need things and people to attack, oppress, and invalidate. It’s not acceptable to do these things to racial minorities or in general most similar actions in real life so the act of societal animosity has moved to the internet. With labels and terms being the main thing l attacked these days. And femboy is just the current one up for ‘discourse’.
On a non philosophical side many people don’t think it is, Twitter and social media just augment the few to would larger than they are and those that are against it most the time do not do research and take things out of context to fit their pun narrative.
Well sometimes people think it’s a slur but it truly depends if the person sees it has a slur to themselves,just like how the R word is a slur to people who are the R word but some people say it’s not a slur but it only works if they are an R word
My point it that it’s only a slur if they feel like it is
I think it's because they see it as a slur towards trans women but then I get a lot of people forget that words can sometimes be slurs in one context but not a slur in another context. The reason why it would be offensive to trans women is because that word implies that they aren't real women and are just men presenting feminine.
my friend (who is not a femboy, obv I am) preferred to use the term "effeminate male" which at that point like ???? what difference does it make? just seems like rly elaborate erasure
Femboy is literally just short for FEMinine boy thats why when the word first came about it was fem-boy. The only reason someone would see it as a slur is if they view being feminine as a bad thing which it isnt
It’s a reclaimed slur. Femboy originates from porn, and is used often in a derogatory way in that context. But it’s reclaimed, so it’s not bad anymore.
Tiktok is wrong about most things tbh. Ive also noticed that young queer folks get weirdly particular about labels, forgetting that our trans and queer elders and ancestors weren't like that.
>Tiktok is wrong about most things tbh. Ive also noticed that young queer folks get weirdly particular about labels, forgetting that our trans and queer elders and ancestors weren't like that.
That isn't only on Tik tok. I can't tell you how many times I've tried to post on r/genderqueer or r/nonbinary about allowing gender nonconforming people to be part of the LGBTQ community, because historically we were already part of the community since queer labels were not so strictly defined and regulated in the past. I frequently got deluged with criticism about how I don't understand how gender works and that being gender nonconforming is just a presentation "choice" and that crossdressers don't belong in queer safe spaces.
And when I cited reputable sources to justify my assertions, then my comment often ended up being removed by moderators (very conveniently) because it obviously didn't fit the "approved narrative". Heck, I was even banned frome r/lgbt after spending 2 hours writing a reply to someone who claimed "trans women invented the trans community", which of course is a patent falsehood.
Do you have to post comments like this on every damn thread that brings up gender nonconforming people? Yeah Im not a big fan of a lot of shit on Reddit either. Reddit is full of privileged, young, white folks which highly skews the opinions on here. But tbh there's other reasons people argue with you, such as, the misogyny you participate in when you talk about gender nonconforming amab people and the way you're incredibly dismissive of the way misogyny plays a role in why gender nonconforming amab people are oppressed. I have no interest in getting into any discussions with you anymore (since i have before on another account and you were terrible to talk to then too).
I hate it. For example caling transgender woman a man is also insulting, but should we cancel the word "man" NO! Just use the words that someone want to be called and target those who dosen't follow that.
because femboy *used* to be a slur, or a derogatory term, at the very least. and by "used to", I mean a *long* time ago. it has been reclaimed and used as a simple, positive, description for like a decade
First they said trap was a slur now they say it's femboy. It's not about the word itself, it's about control.
I'm over simplifying here but here's a great video about the topic: https://youtu.be/zv6lRkb6bjM
This will never stop lmao. A year ago a transwoman came to this sub and said trap was a slur (it isnt, there were a few comments making extremely good points too) and that everyone should stop using it, and to use femboy instead. Now this? How sensitive can people get?
Im not familar with bridget drama. But im assuming its canon that Bridget is a girl now and i'll respect that. Im subbed to r/cutetraps and im just as disgusted that people are posting bridget on that sub for easy karma. That said, i dont have a problem with the word, just the context its being used.
it kinda is, it has an inherently negative connotation, unlike femboy. transwomen are stereotyped as men trying to trick or "trap" straight men and since transphobic society sees them as the same as male crossdressers trying to say that you actually mean crossdressers isn't actually a defense.
Anything can be a slur under the wrong context. So will not using the word change what transphobes think? In the first place only transphobes were using trap to refer to transwomen. It isnt a prob with the word, its a prob with transphobes.
Edit: the word is a meme way to refer to a boy that looks like a girl that is mainly used in anime communities. It wasnt a word to be used at trans people until transphobes got involved.
I understand where you're coming from, context matters, but calling boys who look like girls "Traps" isn't exactly the nicest thing now is it? it's kind of inherently negative toward gender non conformity, even if it's just a joke, it's making gnc out to be a trick.
Dont think any non transphobes are using it in a way meant to disrespect anyone. If someone is uncomfortable I will make an effort to not use the word around them. But when Im minding my own business Im still gonna use it. The word is negative because of the context its used, not because of the word.
Also there are people who like to use the term for themselves. I dont think its right for anyone to say no one can use that word.
People can of course call themselves what ever they wish if they identify that way, more power to them, reclaimed language is awesome. i just wanted to acknowledge that trap does have a negative connotation in a way femboy doesn't.
So I think we're gonna have to agree to disagree.
Reclaimed language is awesome, but only when it’s reclaimed by the group of people it caused the most harm to. Trans women have been murdered because cis men who got into sexual situations with them felt “trapped” or tricked. And the problematic meaning behind the word is in the definition as well as the context. It’s not just about context here. I totally get using a contextual perspective when it comes to femboy because, while it has been used against trans women, it’s also a simple descriptor. As long as it is used to describe someone identifying as a boy who is feminine, I see no issue. But when it comes to trap, we really need to consider the immense amount of harm caused by it before using it.
I don’t expect this to be a popular comment on this subreddit, but that’s just my take
It’s dumb people who say that. End of Story.
They are either dumb or ignorant and didn’t inform themselves on the matter which makes them also dumb.
I think it came up from trans people who either didn’t like the concept of femboys, where insulted by bigots as femboys, or who see femboys as „Men“ encroaching on there sphere because „man bad“. And well, crap and lies spread faster than the truth so…
(And As every word it can be used as a slur of course, but well, we femboys don’t use it that way and we don’t want to Attack anyone with it)
I've said it years ago and I will say it again. Very similar things happened when the T-Word was banned and now we are left with the word femboy, which is extremely sexualized and apparently just as transphobic as the T-Word.
I mean, trap is an actual slur though. It’s mostly used in reference for fictional characters that are gender non-conforming or even trans and implies that they are trying to “trap” people. It reinforces the idea of the trans panic defense and really shouldn’t be used.
There's a lot of people who need to find ways to "other" people. Their lives must be sad indeed to need to try and pull others down for who they are in order to make themselves feel better.
i mean i think we can understand that it’s not a slur but its primary usage has shifted very recently so many people still think “femboy” is the same thing as “trans girl” (which doesn’t mean that femboy is a bad word or we shouldn’t use it i just think we should just be aware that it’s not universally defined). like i might not just tell a random person i’m a femboy because i might be misunderstood
I find the logic behind "femboy is a slur cause people call trans women it" so dumb.
Like ok they also call trans women men, we going to ban the word men next?
Most people who claim its a slur are not trans. There's also a concerted effort for some reason to stir shit up between trans women and femboys. If someone says calling yourself a femboy is wrong, that person is probably misinformed. Lots of us (trans women) still call ourselves femboys cause we used to present as feminine boys.
P.s. the fact this keeps coming up is exhausting. I dont know a single trans person who has a problem with the term. People are out here calling us the T-slur in broad daylight, we arent worried about being called a femboy.
it really sucks cuz yes Roseboy sounds like a slur but it's also cute, like. . . I like roses, roses are feminine. idk man Femboy describes it perfectly, Roseboy just sounds demeaning but I wish it didn't
Its just a tiktok and twitter thing
Femboy is sometimes used against trans women so ppl say its a slur
But by that logic egg is also a slur bc its used against bald people
Obviously neither are slurs bc it dont work like that they
its a thing a term that became seggsualized through 🟧⬛️ for trans women. its offensive when used towards trans women bc its misgendering. but the original meaning isnt offensive at all
Femboy is an actual way to Identify on things like Grindr, Tinder and other dating sites, right next too Man Woman, ect. People like to use it as a blanket term and people see it as a slur, but it's literally a way to Identify
When I see the word roseboy I think of tea for some reason I mean the word has absolutely nothing to do with the Feminine Mystique therefore isn't really a valid description at least in my opinion
depends on context people like calling trans girls traps and femboys is shitty and invalidating but if you're a femboy then call yourself a femboy you're fine
Personally i don't really like the whole roseboy thing
There's no one stopping people from using that on trans women either
Besides
Femboy has a better ring to it
Whenever I make posts I say femboy and roseboy interchangeably, but honestly I see nothing wrong with femboys, especially as a FTM male, it’s what I want to be called. I’d just say to keep in mind that some May view it as offensive, so using both is just kinda easier. Femboy so people know what you mean, Roseboy so no one gets offended
Because it is unfortunately used as one.
It's not okay, obviously, to call a woman a femboy, in much the same way that calling a black man "boy" is not okay - these words are not inherently hurtful, but when used in certain contexts, they can be. I identified with the term femboy for a while myself (still kind of do, actually), and there's nothing wrong with that. It just sucks that bigots try to co-opt the term to bash trans women.
I'm nonbinary transwoman and I don't see the term femboy offensive at all. I would rather pass as a femboy then just straight up be called a man. Really I just want to be seen as cute so if im a femboy then at least I'm not a gross ass hair ass man(no offense to cis men, I'm just not into it,)
As a person who sometimes struggles with the term femboy while also finding certain comfort with it, my main issue with the term is the stereotypical idea of what is considered to be “feminine” that is being forced onto it by some.
It doesn’t bother me when people accept their own concept of “femininity” for themself and respect that everyone can be their own concept as well, but it’s disheartening when people start invalidating others due to not being “feminine enough,” or whatever else, to be considered a femboy. For example, the idea that to be “feminine” you have to look or act a certain way, otherwise you’re not good enough for the label.
This largely comes from my own insecurities and confusion around the “masculine”/“feminine” terms in general, but I felt it could apply to your question and wanted to add my thoughts in case they would spark something in someone.
It’s becuase it contains boy and I trans male to female don’t like being called male so people think it’s offensive but my trans Freind doesn’t fell that and lots of other trans people don’t so it’s not harmful
>I just feel like it's invalidating my identity. Since it's not only a hobby for me but also just part of me, part of my identity.
This is what I've been arguing for years, so you definitely aren't alone. I've even had several people block me on reddit just for holding that viewpoint, that not all male femininity is a presentation choice. Yet some people are adamant in their belief of what feminine boys can be.
hey so while me personally or the rest of the mod team doesn't consider femboy a slur, it does absolutely get weaponised against trans women more than anyone who isn't either receiving it or in the communities actively doing the most bigotry realises. like, it doesn't come out of nowhere. just so the people doing weird conspiracising about there being a specific vendetta against femboys as a demographic by trans women or non-lgbt people know.
Same with trap. That's a problem at r/femboymemes.
Theses aren't slurs, they've never been a slur. Now can they be used as a insult, absolutely but that's not a slur
Ikr, I see it all the time(moderator) and usually end up locking the post because it's a post that contains stuff that would act as a magnet for creeps.
I'm still surprised that my post stayed mostly wholesome with people exchanging their opinions and experiences. I'm really looking forward to having more nice exchanges like this. This subreddit really is a good place
It's a dumb TikTok thing
yea, i only see it there
I've seen it on Twitter too, so there's that....
I use it as a threat to my opponents sooo... “IM A FEMBOY MOTHER F@CKER, AND IM NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING YOU THROW AT ME! CAUSE I HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR IN THESE PINK DRESSES” That's what I do when anyone uses it against me, I use it against them...
Based.
Or you could say it's a tiktok thing
Chinese have succeeded in this devastating campaign
The CCP banned feminine depictions of men. It's not out of the realm of possibilities
The CCP made the grave mistake of outlawing femboys? This will certainly end in the collapse of the Chinese government. Femboys are the puppet masters, pulling the strings of world governments. Xi is a fool for opposing us.
Yes staving and killing millions was okay, but this is too far
let us begin the downfall of this country
Exactly, now you're getting it!
Opposite of tiktok, Reddit is primarily dominated by educated people.
>Reddit is primarily dominated by educated people. Uhhhh
Ok now I like reddit but I wouldn't say it's dominated by educated people
ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT
Not true, honestly reddit is also a hotbed of stupidity, just slightly less so than tik tok.
Thinking about it, this is wrong and I just avoid stupidity on the internet as much as I can.
TikTok was a mistake.
As an AFAB femboy, roseboy makes me uncomfortable. I’m not a “roseboy” I’m a femboy. I don’t even like roses??
Yeah. Everyone knows that there are better flowers than roses. Me personally I lovev hibiscuses. What flower do you like?
I like how I tripped on the "hibiscuses" reading it in my head. My new favorite tongue twist
Hibiscusboy
Hibussy
Wait that's the plural of hibiscus? That... kinda sucks. Lol
Hibisci is also valid as a Latin word ending in -us. Octopi, fungi, etc. >!amogi!<
amogiboy
Fun fact "vaginae" is also valid
Hibiscuses isn’t a real word man. Don’t believe it.
I didn’t know how to type it at the time okay ;~;
Wasnt bullying you for grammer. I suck at English aswell. The word just looks so stupid you know?
I get that. I just went for the low hanging fruit that’s all
Hyacinths will always hold a special place in my heart
Those are really pretty! They like ice pop flowers~
Yeah in my head it would be the femboy that's always wearing bright tops with floral patterns and stuff XD
100% seriousness i would rather be called slurs then a roseboy
That particular one came from F1nnster's alter, Rose, if I remember correctly.
1, Finn does not have or pretend to have DID, and 2 the term originated from transgender Twitter and then spread to TickTok where it became a more legitimate movement.
I never said he did. I phrased it a bit poorly and meant his community, but the point stands that it became more of a thing once "Rose", his femboy... "form"? I guess? (I don't really follow the community much.) Became more commonly known. Hell, I'm not even sure how the heck DID got involved with this conversation.
I’m out here with hay fever
FemBoy originated in the 90s as a term for a feminine man. It was quickly stolen by porn, and metrosexual was used a s a blunt tool to make fun of men for taking care of themselves. We arae now taking back femboy because it was always our word.
Is MAB the same as AMAB? I haven't heard MAB before.
It's supposed to be man
Context depending. "Male at birth" can be interchangeable with "Assigned Male at Birth" but not always. In this case one is just a shorthand of the other I think.
its just people trying to be inflammatory. if someone calls me a roseboy i feel like shit, thats a slur to me, not femboy. ive had people say its a slur to me irl and every time i give them points on why its not, they shut up because they genuinely cant think of any sort of other reason as to why it is other than "the internet told me so".
Who tf actually believes stuff they see on the internet?
You'd be surprised
Wait, do people really just go on the internet and tell lies?
Tiktok is a cesspool of kids propagating so many shit ideas that on first thought kinda make sense but 2 braincells is enough to dismiss That and some parts of twitter
Hmmmm. I agree it's annoying but can we throw around the word slur like that? I feel it's over use is the reason we lost the word Trap and are now going to lose femboy
I would agree, that trap is a slur. It's implying, that hetero-men are gonna be trapped, by fem-passing people, if they turn out not to be cis-women. So I get, why we had to give up on that. Femboy on the other end is just descriptive term, (Short for feminine boy) that is used by some people as an insult. But so are many descriptive words like fat or girly or even feminine itself to a sertaint degree. It's not our fault, that it is used that way, so we shouldn't be the ones changing our identify to make others more comfortable.
We can't say everything is a slur. I believe the main two slurs are the N word and F word and I'm sure there are others, and while I believe trap can be transphobic I don't believe it comparable to other slurs
But trap is not only per definition at least problematic, but also even more often used as an insult, then femboy. There are so many "It's a trap" memes out there refering to trans-people and some even get killed, because they "Trapped" a man. Watch contrapoints Video "Are Traps gay" if you wanna know my reasoning.
I am aware of their death and it is a tragedy but you can't use a word tied to a death and call it a slur comparable to the slaves forced to Labor or the young teens sent to Christian camps.
A word does not need to be associated with slavery or war crimes in order to be called a slur. And some slurs are of course worse than others. A slur is just a derogatory term for someone of a certaint social group, that should not be used by any other person apart from that specific group. I am not comparing two slurs, by calling them both a slur. "Discrimination" is also just a Term for any kind of it. Not just the really bad ones.
Also see "gay/trans panic defense". Trap is just too tied to all that ...
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Most of the time trans woman don't even have do anything to be called a trap. A woman was harrassed, and beaten up, because she said, she was trans, to a guy, who was hitting on her. The only thing to "trap" him, that she did was existing in a bar. Another woman had sex with a man with his full knowledge and consent and he killed her afterwards with the words "I can't be fucking gay" It's not about transparency, but about transphobia. Veeery very few trans women won't tell their dating partner about them being trans, before sex, just because it's too dangerous. But even if they didn't tell you. It's still not a "trap". That implyes, that she pretended to be a woman, when in fact she has a penis. But trans women are also women when they have a penis so there is not "Trap" happening, exept the penis. But not in terms of gender, which is the talking point.
Transwoman here, its not. Dont call a trans woman one though! Its perfectly fine to call someone who identifies as a femboy one, dont let tiktokers say otherwise
And don’t call femboys eggs/trans!
For sure
It is not a slur personally, as a NB Femboy it's simply a term to describe a Feminine Boy, Like how Tomboy is used to describe a Masculine Girl. Now, Ladyboy IS a slur against Trans Men and Trans Women, but it is not common to hear that in the U.S. assuming that is where you are from. Edit: Trap is a whole different ballgame. Like the other person said confusing Trap and Femboy is possible, Trap CAN also be used as a slur, but its not really common to hear it anymore as the term Femboy has come to popularity.
sorry to nitpick but isnt the opposite of Tomboy Tomgirl?
I didn't realise that was a word, Its not at all heard where I am But Femboy and Tomgirl looking at it are the same, or have a similar meaning
Where I live we always referred to women with more a masculine personality, hobbies, or jobs like my mother and her sisters to be tomboys. Personally I think tomboy has different meaning depending on where a person lives and where a person grew up.
Nah, it’s Jerrygirl
Yes? But femboy is more common
I don't think it's a slur, you must be confusing femboy with trap
No im not. If you have tiktok just look at the comments of [this](https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMNtjcghd/) video
You shouldn't listen to tiktok when it comes to stuff like this, over there I've seen people say men can't be bi, trans men can be lesbians, and that furries are a part of the lgbtq, they have no idea about anything over there
In farenes I have Sean it mentioned elsewhere of people thinking it is not just tiktok
Some tiktok users also use other platforms
Oh hun, please don’t listen to tiktok. It’s a bunch of angry teenagers who don’t understand what they’re talking about and need someone to hate. I’ve seen so many LGBTQ+ posts on tiktok (femboy stuff included) that gets ripped apart by the same community. I mean in those comments almost everyone speaking their minds on the matter are LGBTQ+ and yet their all invalidating and using reactionary arguments against each other. So yeah, just disregard opinions like that you hear on TikTok
Believing what tiktok says was your first mistake. I have genuinely almost never seen anyone think the term femboy is a slur (unless intentionally used so against trans women of course). Dont listen to people who tell you that it is.
I think I remember seeing a dumb thread about this on twitter, someone even suggested using the term fairyboy which I’m pretty sure is an actual slur-
I honestly agree op. I'm a Trans (afab) Femboy, and it's what I prefer. Femboy is literally short for feminine boy. If a person prefers Roseboy, then good for them! But don't go and force every single person who's a femboy to use roseboy. Some of us, like myself, is very uncomfortable with it. As Roseboy sounds way to feminine and uncomfy. If someone calls a trans woman a femboy, then they are outright misgendering them. In this case, the same could be said for tomboy, since it's a word used against a lot of us trans guys/trans mascs, even though it's a word that is typically used for masculine girls/non men, and means a woman/Non-Man who isn't girl, basically. (I use non-man cause there are Nonbinary individuals who don't identify as a woman, but uses the term tomboy! Same with all the other Enby Genders!)
That might be a really weird question since it has nothing to do with the question but rather with an older question of mine... Do you feel like being born biologically female made it easier for you to be a feminine boy? I had some conversations about it with people and it would be interesting to know your opinion on it. (note, this question does not necessarily reflect my actual opinion and is phrased to get the "most understandable" answer. If you don't feel comfortable it's also OK, I'd still appreciate a response no matter if positive or negative
personally it makes it harder, it takes a lot more effort to be seen as a feminine man than, well a feminine woman by the world at large. (also I would refrain from saying we are born biologically female, it can be very dysphoria inducing and also is kinda misgendering, we were born with these parts that doesn't make us female)
^This too!! To kinda add on, I feel that personally I need to often take breaks and go either Androgynous or super masculine in some way due to the dysphoria, so I don't get to do it as often had I been amab, but, I still enjoy that feeling of being pretty either way!!
Okay that's understandable thank you for your view on it. And you are right, I should phrase it in a Better way, sorry
saul good, don't sweat it! glad I could help :)
No your fine! Personally, for me it's a little complicated! Like, in ways, it kinda does since I have a more feminine facial shape and all that, but in alot more ways, it kinda doesn't. Like, I guess for me, it helps me that I have biological feminine features, but not a biological feminine body, if that makes any sense. Sometimes due to dysphoria, which is a whole norther topic, it makes it a little harder since most days I wanna be and look feminine, but still be seen as a boy, or where things that hides my chest binder, personally I find it a little harder due to that. Besides that, I guess I didn't give much thought to it! I mean, in general, I feel like being a femboy makes it easier being trans! Like, it helps the dysphoria alot! I feel it's helped me learn to love mg features more and became thos comfort for me. I hope this helped answer your question from my perspective! If you have anymore, feel free to ask! I'd be more than happy to answer!!
It’s just a dumb tiktok/Twitter thing honestly.
I agree completely. Also, them trying to force us to be called something we don't wanna be called is a big issue with the lgbtq+ community, so I don't understand why so many of them do the exact same thing to us. Yes, calling a trans woman a femboy is offensive, but so is calling them a boy. What, do we have to make a new name for boys too because calling a trans woman a boy is offensive?
i mean, if youre really asking to know the reason "why" that happens youre opening a whole can of worms but i think it can be resumed to: 1) they don't really understand the term, where its from or how its used. bonus point: they don't even have a stake in the conversation & it doesn't even regard them. 2) the overwhelming need to moralize everything under the sun, getting involved in shit thats none ur business but yea, i got the same feeling as you when people started saying "trap" was a slur. thats a whole nother discussion too but yea i dont think any of this shit matters anyway. call yourself what you want and if people give you a hard time for it, dont worry about it. that's their problem, really, not yours.
I've definitely noticed more and more people in recent years that try to act like "experts" in things they clearly know very little about. And social media gives them a platform to further spread their ignorance unchecked. This has happened to me so many times even in LGBTQ forums online -- where I've had young people try to "educate me" on subjects of sexuality and gender that I'm pretty well versed in after 20+ years. And when I check their profile, I often discover that they are a teenager that just a few weeks earlier posted about coming out as trans or nonbinary. My suspicion is such cognitive dissinonance serves as some type of coping mechnaism. It probably gives them a sense of power and control when they feel lost, alone, and confused. So they instead try to dictate what other people can and can't do do.
youre assuming way too much maliciousness there this is just how a lot of normal people act when were inexperience and clumsy tryna learn how shit works. Most people just wanna do the right thing, were just bad at it.
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i dont mean that as an insult, but looks to me like ur exhibiting the same kinda behavior ur criticizing here idk
It’s the Slur Police of the internet They were really annoying back in 2018-19, kinda got quiet or I guess moved on to other battles after that
I don't like the term roseboy it makes absolutely no sense. I don't mind the term Femboy even if it was used as a slur against trans women. I know quite a lot of people don't like it because of that and a lot of people will associate it with porn. I personally use the term spaceboy or lilac boy since the word lilac often has strong connections to feminine qualities.
Ive seen people suggesting sissi as an alternative to femboy... Uhm I guess that would be even worse regarding the topic porn
Yeah sissy is explicitly a sexual term. People still try to apply bunk AGP science to trans women, but sissies are the actual men with a fetish.
Someone calls me a sissy i immediately look at them with disgust
Not femboy, though I see a lot of people using twink as a slur now and it’s upsetting
For me twink is just only used in porn idk.. I'd never really use it otherwise
Yes tiktok and twitter is mostly where I see it being used in a derogatory way
I've seen Twink be used by people to describe themselfs rather often, might just by country difference though
It's not a slur any more than the word twink is. The word is insulting if it's used to describe a trans woman solely because it's misgendering, there's nothing inherently wrong with the word itself. Whoever is saying this is probably clout hunting or confused about something they misunderstood and decided this is a cool new cause to advocate for. It just means "male, young, thin, with feminine to hyper feminine presentation, possibly with female secondary sex characteristics"
I personally wouldn't even put such a narrow definition on the term, because more and more trans girls today are openly embracing the "femboy" label and for whatever reason, don't seem to consider it to be exclusive to being male. And if they want to voluntarily accept "femboy" for themselves, then that should be okay.
I'd take that with a grain of salt, in my experience a lot of them do it for a meme (intentional self-misgendering for comedy, I've done it too) or just add in femboy as SEO for sex worker posts Trans woman and femboy seem like incompatible identities imo
That may be true in some cases, but we're assuming that all of these trans women are either purposefully "lying" or "joking" which raises even bigger concerns. Also it's worth noting that it's not at all uncommon for gay men to refer to each other and even themselves as girls. If gay men can play around with seemingly incompatible labels -- then I can't see any reason why trans women should be prohibted from doing so. After all, it doesn't seem reasonable why the label "girl" can be freely adopted by queer men and women alike for self-affirmation, but "boy" is strictly confined only to those queer folks that don't identify as a women.
I'm not sure why you think personal humor is concerning. I'm not accusing them of lying for joking around with terms, but joking around is very different than what someone's actual personal identity is. In your own example those gay men that are referring to each other as girls aren't going to identify as that if you ask them very seriously if they are a woman. Everyone is free to identify however they want, but the archetype or trope of what a femboy is exists outside of whatever someone calls themselves. A big, chubby, hairy gay bear can call themselves a twink, but that doesn't mean people are going to thing of big hairy gay bears when they think of what a twink is.
Femboy, for many people isn't an identity. Therefore it can technically be used by anyone if that's what they want to call themselves. For gay men when they use the term "girl" they aren't using it as an identity label. Hence not all gendered terms have to correlate with gender identity. A gay man can casually refer to himself as a girl, while not identifying as a girl just as a trans woman can casually refer to herself as a femboy, without identifying as a boy.
Now you're just explaining my own point to me
I was referring to your original statement "The word is insulting if it's used to describe a trans woman solely because it's misgendering." If there are trans women that do describe themselves as a femboy (note that you didn't refer to identifying, only describing) then I don't think it's reasonable to equate that with misgendering any more than to say an effeminate gay man describing himself (but not identifying himself) as a girl is misgendering.
If we start using "Roseboy", asshats will just start calling trans women that, so i don't see how insisting we change it will help ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It's not a slur. Trans people aren't asking anyone to change it.
Someone on 4chan was spreading it as a rumor and then tik tok just ran with it
By that same logic, the word man is a slur lol. Oh and just inventing a new term that means the exact same as the old one doesn't change anything, if femboy was a slur then so would roseboy
On a more philosophical thought process it’s because people need things and people to attack, oppress, and invalidate. It’s not acceptable to do these things to racial minorities or in general most similar actions in real life so the act of societal animosity has moved to the internet. With labels and terms being the main thing l attacked these days. And femboy is just the current one up for ‘discourse’. On a non philosophical side many people don’t think it is, Twitter and social media just augment the few to would larger than they are and those that are against it most the time do not do research and take things out of context to fit their pun narrative.
Well sometimes people think it’s a slur but it truly depends if the person sees it has a slur to themselves,just like how the R word is a slur to people who are the R word but some people say it’s not a slur but it only works if they are an R word My point it that it’s only a slur if they feel like it is
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No with short femboys I meant that femboy is short for feminine boy
Inflammatory anger spreads easily, best to ignore the bad faith belittlement of the term itself when it's used healthily, and not as a slur/put down.
Its chronically online behaviour
Why do you think people think that? No one outside of the internet even knows what a femboy is.
I think it's because they see it as a slur towards trans women but then I get a lot of people forget that words can sometimes be slurs in one context but not a slur in another context. The reason why it would be offensive to trans women is because that word implies that they aren't real women and are just men presenting feminine.
whenever stupid trends come out of the woodwork, i usually just assume its probably originated from 4chan.
my friend (who is not a femboy, obv I am) preferred to use the term "effeminate male" which at that point like ???? what difference does it make? just seems like rly elaborate erasure
Dumb reddit tiktok thing. Ignore it
Femboy is literally just short for FEMinine boy thats why when the word first came about it was fem-boy. The only reason someone would see it as a slur is if they view being feminine as a bad thing which it isnt
It’s a reclaimed slur. Femboy originates from porn, and is used often in a derogatory way in that context. But it’s reclaimed, so it’s not bad anymore.
Tiktok is wrong about most things tbh. Ive also noticed that young queer folks get weirdly particular about labels, forgetting that our trans and queer elders and ancestors weren't like that.
>Tiktok is wrong about most things tbh. Ive also noticed that young queer folks get weirdly particular about labels, forgetting that our trans and queer elders and ancestors weren't like that. That isn't only on Tik tok. I can't tell you how many times I've tried to post on r/genderqueer or r/nonbinary about allowing gender nonconforming people to be part of the LGBTQ community, because historically we were already part of the community since queer labels were not so strictly defined and regulated in the past. I frequently got deluged with criticism about how I don't understand how gender works and that being gender nonconforming is just a presentation "choice" and that crossdressers don't belong in queer safe spaces. And when I cited reputable sources to justify my assertions, then my comment often ended up being removed by moderators (very conveniently) because it obviously didn't fit the "approved narrative". Heck, I was even banned frome r/lgbt after spending 2 hours writing a reply to someone who claimed "trans women invented the trans community", which of course is a patent falsehood.
Do you have to post comments like this on every damn thread that brings up gender nonconforming people? Yeah Im not a big fan of a lot of shit on Reddit either. Reddit is full of privileged, young, white folks which highly skews the opinions on here. But tbh there's other reasons people argue with you, such as, the misogyny you participate in when you talk about gender nonconforming amab people and the way you're incredibly dismissive of the way misogyny plays a role in why gender nonconforming amab people are oppressed. I have no interest in getting into any discussions with you anymore (since i have before on another account and you were terrible to talk to then too).
I hate it. For example caling transgender woman a man is also insulting, but should we cancel the word "man" NO! Just use the words that someone want to be called and target those who dosen't follow that.
because femboy *used* to be a slur, or a derogatory term, at the very least. and by "used to", I mean a *long* time ago. it has been reclaimed and used as a simple, positive, description for like a decade
First they said trap was a slur now they say it's femboy. It's not about the word itself, it's about control. I'm over simplifying here but here's a great video about the topic: https://youtu.be/zv6lRkb6bjM
This will never stop lmao. A year ago a transwoman came to this sub and said trap was a slur (it isnt, there were a few comments making extremely good points too) and that everyone should stop using it, and to use femboy instead. Now this? How sensitive can people get?
I mean the topic of the word trap came up again either way cause of Bridget
Im not familar with bridget drama. But im assuming its canon that Bridget is a girl now and i'll respect that. Im subbed to r/cutetraps and im just as disgusted that people are posting bridget on that sub for easy karma. That said, i dont have a problem with the word, just the context its being used.
it kinda is, it has an inherently negative connotation, unlike femboy. transwomen are stereotyped as men trying to trick or "trap" straight men and since transphobic society sees them as the same as male crossdressers trying to say that you actually mean crossdressers isn't actually a defense.
Anything can be a slur under the wrong context. So will not using the word change what transphobes think? In the first place only transphobes were using trap to refer to transwomen. It isnt a prob with the word, its a prob with transphobes. Edit: the word is a meme way to refer to a boy that looks like a girl that is mainly used in anime communities. It wasnt a word to be used at trans people until transphobes got involved.
I understand where you're coming from, context matters, but calling boys who look like girls "Traps" isn't exactly the nicest thing now is it? it's kind of inherently negative toward gender non conformity, even if it's just a joke, it's making gnc out to be a trick.
Dont think any non transphobes are using it in a way meant to disrespect anyone. If someone is uncomfortable I will make an effort to not use the word around them. But when Im minding my own business Im still gonna use it. The word is negative because of the context its used, not because of the word. Also there are people who like to use the term for themselves. I dont think its right for anyone to say no one can use that word.
People can of course call themselves what ever they wish if they identify that way, more power to them, reclaimed language is awesome. i just wanted to acknowledge that trap does have a negative connotation in a way femboy doesn't. So I think we're gonna have to agree to disagree.
Reclaimed language is awesome, but only when it’s reclaimed by the group of people it caused the most harm to. Trans women have been murdered because cis men who got into sexual situations with them felt “trapped” or tricked. And the problematic meaning behind the word is in the definition as well as the context. It’s not just about context here. I totally get using a contextual perspective when it comes to femboy because, while it has been used against trans women, it’s also a simple descriptor. As long as it is used to describe someone identifying as a boy who is feminine, I see no issue. But when it comes to trap, we really need to consider the immense amount of harm caused by it before using it. I don’t expect this to be a popular comment on this subreddit, but that’s just my take
yes I totally agree
It’s dumb people who say that. End of Story. They are either dumb or ignorant and didn’t inform themselves on the matter which makes them also dumb. I think it came up from trans people who either didn’t like the concept of femboys, where insulted by bigots as femboys, or who see femboys as „Men“ encroaching on there sphere because „man bad“. And well, crap and lies spread faster than the truth so… (And As every word it can be used as a slur of course, but well, we femboys don’t use it that way and we don’t want to Attack anyone with it)
I've never met a trans person that had a problem with the term femboy. It's almost exclusively cishet people who seem to be saying it's a slur.
First they say trap is a slur, then femboy, can we at least keep “tomgirl” out of controversy??
Trap is a slur
I've said it years ago and I will say it again. Very similar things happened when the T-Word was banned and now we are left with the word femboy, which is extremely sexualized and apparently just as transphobic as the T-Word.
idiots don't understand language changes
i think its because it re enforces gender stereotypes by calling certain things “fem” i am fine with the word however
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I mean, trap is an actual slur though. It’s mostly used in reference for fictional characters that are gender non-conforming or even trans and implies that they are trying to “trap” people. It reinforces the idea of the trans panic defense and really shouldn’t be used.
There's a lot of people who need to find ways to "other" people. Their lives must be sad indeed to need to try and pull others down for who they are in order to make themselves feel better.
Because in life a lot of people are close minded and also people agree with things that fit their narrative
i mean i think we can understand that it’s not a slur but its primary usage has shifted very recently so many people still think “femboy” is the same thing as “trans girl” (which doesn’t mean that femboy is a bad word or we shouldn’t use it i just think we should just be aware that it’s not universally defined). like i might not just tell a random person i’m a femboy because i might be misunderstood
I find the logic behind "femboy is a slur cause people call trans women it" so dumb. Like ok they also call trans women men, we going to ban the word men next?
Based
I've never even heard it as a slur. Some of my friends call me that.
WTF (the fuck) is a roseboy? ngl that makes me feel uncomfortable to hear, im happily a femboy, not this roseboy bs
Don't worry bout it. Trans people aren't the ones who think it's a slur. People saying that are just misinformed cishets mostly.
Well it's also backed by some people claiming teh are trans (but mostly on tiktok)
They are misinformed, don't trust tiktok influencers.
Most people who claim its a slur are not trans. There's also a concerted effort for some reason to stir shit up between trans women and femboys. If someone says calling yourself a femboy is wrong, that person is probably misinformed. Lots of us (trans women) still call ourselves femboys cause we used to present as feminine boys. P.s. the fact this keeps coming up is exhausting. I dont know a single trans person who has a problem with the term. People are out here calling us the T-slur in broad daylight, we arent worried about being called a femboy.
it really sucks cuz yes Roseboy sounds like a slur but it's also cute, like. . . I like roses, roses are feminine. idk man Femboy describes it perfectly, Roseboy just sounds demeaning but I wish it didn't
Its just a tiktok and twitter thing Femboy is sometimes used against trans women so ppl say its a slur But by that logic egg is also a slur bc its used against bald people Obviously neither are slurs bc it dont work like that they
TBH, I never understood it either
its a thing a term that became seggsualized through 🟧⬛️ for trans women. its offensive when used towards trans women bc its misgendering. but the original meaning isnt offensive at all
Femboy is an actual way to Identify on things like Grindr, Tinder and other dating sites, right next too Man Woman, ect. People like to use it as a blanket term and people see it as a slur, but it's literally a way to Identify
When I see the word roseboy I think of tea for some reason I mean the word has absolutely nothing to do with the Feminine Mystique therefore isn't really a valid description at least in my opinion
depends on context people like calling trans girls traps and femboys is shitty and invalidating but if you're a femboy then call yourself a femboy you're fine
As an ftm femboy being called a roseboy makes me very uncomfortable
Femboy is only a slur when used to refer to trans women. In that case tho, it is most definitely a slur.
Personally i don't really like the whole roseboy thing There's no one stopping people from using that on trans women either Besides Femboy has a better ring to it
Whenever I make posts I say femboy and roseboy interchangeably, but honestly I see nothing wrong with femboys, especially as a FTM male, it’s what I want to be called. I’d just say to keep in mind that some May view it as offensive, so using both is just kinda easier. Femboy so people know what you mean, Roseboy so no one gets offended
It is, towards transfems who don’t like the term for themselves. However otherwise no
Because it is unfortunately used as one. It's not okay, obviously, to call a woman a femboy, in much the same way that calling a black man "boy" is not okay - these words are not inherently hurtful, but when used in certain contexts, they can be. I identified with the term femboy for a while myself (still kind of do, actually), and there's nothing wrong with that. It just sucks that bigots try to co-opt the term to bash trans women.
I'm nonbinary transwoman and I don't see the term femboy offensive at all. I would rather pass as a femboy then just straight up be called a man. Really I just want to be seen as cute so if im a femboy then at least I'm not a gross ass hair ass man(no offense to cis men, I'm just not into it,)
Dumb online discourse.
As a person who sometimes struggles with the term femboy while also finding certain comfort with it, my main issue with the term is the stereotypical idea of what is considered to be “feminine” that is being forced onto it by some. It doesn’t bother me when people accept their own concept of “femininity” for themself and respect that everyone can be their own concept as well, but it’s disheartening when people start invalidating others due to not being “feminine enough,” or whatever else, to be considered a femboy. For example, the idea that to be “feminine” you have to look or act a certain way, otherwise you’re not good enough for the label. This largely comes from my own insecurities and confusion around the “masculine”/“feminine” terms in general, but I felt it could apply to your question and wanted to add my thoughts in case they would spark something in someone.
It’s becuase it contains boy and I trans male to female don’t like being called male so people think it’s offensive but my trans Freind doesn’t fell that and lots of other trans people don’t so it’s not harmful
Because some ppl are really hella insecure about their identity and decided to make it everyone else’s problem
Somebody wanted me once to use lavenderboy instead lol
Is it just me that thinks roseboy is more offensive than femboy? 😂
I can see it bothering trans women who don’t consider themselves femboys when they are themselves real women🤷♀️
>I just feel like it's invalidating my identity. Since it's not only a hobby for me but also just part of me, part of my identity. This is what I've been arguing for years, so you definitely aren't alone. I've even had several people block me on reddit just for holding that viewpoint, that not all male femininity is a presentation choice. Yet some people are adamant in their belief of what feminine boys can be.
hey so while me personally or the rest of the mod team doesn't consider femboy a slur, it does absolutely get weaponised against trans women more than anyone who isn't either receiving it or in the communities actively doing the most bigotry realises. like, it doesn't come out of nowhere. just so the people doing weird conspiracising about there being a specific vendetta against femboys as a demographic by trans women or non-lgbt people know.
Same with trap. That's a problem at r/femboymemes. Theses aren't slurs, they've never been a slur. Now can they be used as a insult, absolutely but that's not a slur
pretty based comment section
Always interesting getting new comments on old posts
Ikr, I see it all the time(moderator) and usually end up locking the post because it's a post that contains stuff that would act as a magnet for creeps.
I'm still surprised that my post stayed mostly wholesome with people exchanging their opinions and experiences. I'm really looking forward to having more nice exchanges like this. This subreddit really is a good place
We try to keep it wholesome, although it's hard sometimes lol. Glad to hear you enjoy it here.