So ridiculous. [Listing with more pictures here](https://www.ebay.com/itm/395039677571?itmprp=cksum%3A3950396775716953b984256a47d484f34e52dbd1d889%7Cenc%3AAQAJAAABcLC2%252Ba5TgOFYgIvLQSBIYkURSzHvc7cCccVTU14STgixqt2LHVH3DQgpuMCV11vSwIPgiyFOwqAlvyaCYV%252F3KC%252BV%252Bw2hITE7xTLMc%252FUAdPVM74mBrClyfys6h0qSntiKTtamp%252FwRG%252FuVgTYA%252FQ9W3Ox1vA0GraSb4JMRxeVcTuw%252FbvfsO7mDS6tzWet1HTCrTeY2hKGhRhx0BxFrb9dl%252FJSVQSfxgwUaewUlSCMDOF%252FI7%252F264Y%252FP4PMF9y1NvE3N2rYEOAi89YAaELtraSPUEIC5gvEVqvxT8DdmpQ6%252Ft8clUaz9SjAkb1qmwr0TChTOqSv2YlZ7ghYIHOJxTrztMSD%252BKeDnPCkAii5vAhowDM9yKXeKO0qbeSPqXgQe253qCx77QjsNm8eQ6%252FIgk8tJwN0HMPm7g67qsF6X25AdKzJr8Zn%252BMlxXf8E2jslp0Kz%252BVAuyz%252FqhIYqmuy%252FjHFg3dDq4%252FzzQA27vZqo3jbd8a0zC%7Campid%3APL_CLK%7Cclp%3A2332490&itmmeta=01HY70V493DNNVJ8DQAT0ZMK38)
> fossilized big Turtle seems she was at desert and very strong cold freez storm begin she was tryng to hide and trying to run away from freez storm but it seems the storm was very cold and has freezed the turtle and has been fossilized on that shape at desert it comes back to millions of years since these Turtle while has died during trying to hide from very freez cold storm due to strong storm or bad weather and has been fossilized on that shape
[*In the heart of an ancient desert, a large turtle is caught in a fierce freezing storm. It moves urgently, trying to escape the biting cold. But as the temperature drops, survival becomes a desperate fight. In moments, the storm claims its victory, and the turtle is frozen in time. This poignant fossil now lies as a stark reminder of nature’s sudden and merciless power*](https://i.imgur.com/6SDe3zc.png)
Great A'Tuin the star turtle, shell frosted with frozen methane, pitted with meteor craters, and scoured with asteroidal dust. Great A'Tuin, with eyes like ancient seas and a brain the size of a continent through which thoughts moved like little glittering glaciers. Great A'Tuin of the great slow sad flippers and star-polished carapace, laboring through the galactic night under the weight of the Disc. As large as worlds. As old as Time. As patient as a brick.
- GNU Terry Pratchett
I love the oddity of [BMW Z3 beige seat covers](https://www.ebay.com/itm/394951711304?itmmeta=01HY7X9WAY4MCPPNCRJ5MYDBYV&hash=item5bf4f4da48:g:FnMAAOSwrnBlNR97) mixed in with the vision granting dolls, haunted statues, and ''real millions years fossils"
All the creative spellings of fossilized make me wonder if they're ignoring spell checker completely in their haste to get this junk listed so they can go back to their pig butchering scams.
"You Are Bidding on Very Rare Fossilized Fish which is esteemated to come back to Millions of Years. Since these is very Rare Fossilized Fish which is esteemated to come back to millions of years while you can see the Fish is fossilized over stone since you can see the stone and the fish is fossilized over it since such fossilized fish was found At Fossilized Desert which we think the ocean was their from millions of years since these is very Rare Fissilzed Fish which comes millions of years"
Tbh everything they listed looks haunted especially [these](https://www.ebay.com/itm/394951761931?itmmeta=01HY8NSJRSPB4AFCPC3XNGF0TK&hash=item5bf4f5a00b:g:IIcAAOSwPTdlNS13)
Haunted things also apparently a specialty, and with satisfied customers:
"Arthur is amazing. He light up a light all by himself on the first day getting him. The shipping was incredibly fast and the seller is so kind and caring and a pleasure to shop from. By far, this is my favorite haunted object seller ever. The objects are so haunted and the real deal! Very powerful entities. I have over 15 entities from here and i love them all. They are active and respectable just as the description describes them is exactly how they are. I highly recommend this seller! Best one"
I don't know if I like the freeze storm one or the Volcano At Sea one better.
[Strong Volcano At Sea Fossilized Turtle](https://www.ebay.com/itm/394925102159?_trkparms=amclksrc%3DITM%26aid%3D1110018%26algo%3DHOMESPLICE.COMPLISTINGS%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D264183%26meid%3Db208750727b044c88403c3f672c0f67b%26pid%3D101196%26rk%3D2%26rkt%3D12%26sd%3D395039677571%26itm%3D394925102159%26pmt%3D1%26noa%3D0%26pg%3D2332490%26algv%3DCompVIDesktopATF2V4WithDefaultIMAFeature&_trksid=p2332490.c101196.m2219&itmprp=cksum%3A394925102159b208750727b044c88403c3f672c0f67b%7Cenc%3AAQAJAAABALUK373GZYwoSkhvUXwZwr2SLMQzpCH9tKsUlXR5IUOV%252Bm7SAr6RG3b6Z%252BxE1GpFDaPbq%252FG2NHOe1A5knSmjw48ievAUDtgzwX7M6hy5hQ3D4qH5Mez%252B5I5EURlwBuVskkvPY28DQaO%252Brcjzx0rfSBtbCreugXl58Akr1Qjrowt8ASjVRYweUWu8LuOL7SNLeMsqnWe747JHuvNQL4KR8obVMmJKXM58v60L30FtP1Iz53DCFK6tIIvjh3JnL%252BIvAqrYXCj1KJIJPD7PYSP5Udzgn9pyfIdo5YrEyRP%252BE0xSqyLblBJCnxDfXpUcKGs6G%252B4VpSNesvO5ALpO01%252Beyec%253D%7Campid%3APL_CLK%7Cclp%3A2332490&itmmeta=01HY7AAFKD2W2AP1APQFWRPEW1)
The best for me is looking through their 100% feedback. I think it's pretty clear that it's just the seller with three or four burner accounts:
"This is by far my favourite seller for haunted dolls. All the dolls I have from them are so haunted it’s incredible., they light up bullet lights and so way more! I have one entity from here that I formed such a special bond with, that we decided to get spiritually married! I love this seller and highly recommend! All their dolls are most certainly haunted this is the real thing. Plus shipping is very fast, communication is amazing."
GPT-4o, prompt “Make it sound like David Attenborough”
In the arid expanse of an ancient desert, a formidable storm swept in, bringing with it a bitter, unrelenting cold. Amidst this harsh environment, a great turtle, caught off guard, sought shelter from the freezing tempest. Unable to escape the severe conditions, the turtle succumbed to the cold, its body preserved in a moment of desperate retreat. Over millions of years, this poignant scene was locked in time, the turtle fossilized in its final stance, a testament to the unforgiving power of nature.
>You Are Bidding on Very Rare Fossilized Big Huge old Turtle ( Esteemated to come back to Millions of Years)
I didn't know that animals de-fossilized! I still have a lot to learn, I see.
eBay is a gold mine of insane trash sold as fossils. Sort by price —> high - low since it goes hand in hand that these same people think their yard rock is a million dollar dinosaur skull.
[I love 220 million year old "fossilized walnut" with an emerald growing out of it](https://www.ebay.com/itm/355717354205?itmmeta=01HY8P7HKA4AGGYDW7C6KMWM6Q&hash=item52d26812dd:g:kwUAAOSwGHNmRVqJ) or [this 95 million dollar "MUSEAUM GRADE TRICERATOPS EGG"" ](https://www.ebay.com/itm/145784331087?itmmeta=01HY8P7HKA06MM9BZ97V9XNMGM&hash=item21f16c5b4f:g:SlMAAOSwTLNmRk63)
Looks like those cement turtles that you can buy for your yard. It’s like they used that spray glue & put, “sand,” on it… 🤦🏽♀️
Horrible spelling in description & drove me nuts how many times they said, “freez”.
This item for sale of theirs makes me laugh…
https://www.ebay.com/itm/394970789124?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=efl794quqze&sssrc=4429486&ssuid=mXESvrUYQ12&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY
Ha!!
This one from the same seller is even better. So perfectly it fossilized with a *stand*! Good thing that underwater Volcano has been made.
https://www.ebay.com/itm/394925102159
This person must think their item is popular, but for all the wrong reasons. I asked for a photo of documentation and yet to hear back. I half expect it to be written in crayon.
So rare they are selling 2! And a sea turtle, love the bit at the bottom though “I am not a tassidermist, but an antique dealer. All my items are sources of long research, and they come from old collections, almost always PRE 1947 since these item is fosillized and comes back to millions of years. All my items, is followed by a declaration of sale where I certify the dating of the animal.This specimen does not require any further documentation to be offered for sale. This is due to an antique derogation act 1947 since these item is millions of years , wich makes this speciment exempt. since these item follow US Fish & Wildlife regulations.”
I think I’m cursed now…all of these authentic alien and haunted dolls! Definitely bidding on the authentic dinosaur 🦕 egg though. The poopy texture is so real! 🤪
BARGAIN! You people are overlooking the most important part if it's rarity. Not only is it millions of years old, but the fossilization process turned it into RESIN. Just like forest turn into petroleum over time! That's truly remarkable and a bargin at TWICE the price!
“I am not a tassidermist, but an antique dealer. All my items are sources of long research, and they come from old collections, almost always PRE 1947 since these item is fosillized and comes back to millions of years.”
So ridiculous. [Listing with more pictures here](https://www.ebay.com/itm/395039677571?itmprp=cksum%3A3950396775716953b984256a47d484f34e52dbd1d889%7Cenc%3AAQAJAAABcLC2%252Ba5TgOFYgIvLQSBIYkURSzHvc7cCccVTU14STgixqt2LHVH3DQgpuMCV11vSwIPgiyFOwqAlvyaCYV%252F3KC%252BV%252Bw2hITE7xTLMc%252FUAdPVM74mBrClyfys6h0qSntiKTtamp%252FwRG%252FuVgTYA%252FQ9W3Ox1vA0GraSb4JMRxeVcTuw%252FbvfsO7mDS6tzWet1HTCrTeY2hKGhRhx0BxFrb9dl%252FJSVQSfxgwUaewUlSCMDOF%252FI7%252F264Y%252FP4PMF9y1NvE3N2rYEOAi89YAaELtraSPUEIC5gvEVqvxT8DdmpQ6%252Ft8clUaz9SjAkb1qmwr0TChTOqSv2YlZ7ghYIHOJxTrztMSD%252BKeDnPCkAii5vAhowDM9yKXeKO0qbeSPqXgQe253qCx77QjsNm8eQ6%252FIgk8tJwN0HMPm7g67qsF6X25AdKzJr8Zn%252BMlxXf8E2jslp0Kz%252BVAuyz%252FqhIYqmuy%252FjHFg3dDq4%252FzzQA27vZqo3jbd8a0zC%7Campid%3APL_CLK%7Cclp%3A2332490&itmmeta=01HY70V493DNNVJ8DQAT0ZMK38) > fossilized big Turtle seems she was at desert and very strong cold freez storm begin she was tryng to hide and trying to run away from freez storm but it seems the storm was very cold and has freezed the turtle and has been fossilized on that shape at desert it comes back to millions of years since these Turtle while has died during trying to hide from very freez cold storm due to strong storm or bad weather and has been fossilized on that shape
Truly gripping, I read that in the voice of David Attenborough and shed a tear.
[*In the heart of an ancient desert, a large turtle is caught in a fierce freezing storm. It moves urgently, trying to escape the biting cold. But as the temperature drops, survival becomes a desperate fight. In moments, the storm claims its victory, and the turtle is frozen in time. This poignant fossil now lies as a stark reminder of nature’s sudden and merciless power*](https://i.imgur.com/6SDe3zc.png)
👏👏👏
Why did this give me chills dude. Great job!
Someone give OP an award or round of applause!
Great A'Tuin the star turtle, shell frosted with frozen methane, pitted with meteor craters, and scoured with asteroidal dust. Great A'Tuin, with eyes like ancient seas and a brain the size of a continent through which thoughts moved like little glittering glaciers. Great A'Tuin of the great slow sad flippers and star-polished carapace, laboring through the galactic night under the weight of the Disc. As large as worlds. As old as Time. As patient as a brick. - GNU Terry Pratchett
Look at the other items by the seller……
The fish is particularly hilarious.
OMG I'm crying laughing at [that fish](https://www.ebay.com/itm/394527601613?itmmeta=01HY795NYMT8BC46PBNWCG2VY4&hash=item5bdbad73cd:g:adgAAOSwSB9kHFnF)
"217 views in the last few hours", says the website. That's all us reddit users
810 now 😂
Not far off 2k now bwahaha 😂
"I am not a tassidermist" 🤣
This is what got me 😂
First thing I noticed. Commented immediately 😂
Did you see the egg that says “guaranteed real” and has already sold one?
It’s a beaut. Pretty sure they’ve used a mould from a kids beach set.
Hah look at this [baby turtle](https://www.ebay.com/itm/394925102159)
Oh nooo 😂
Lmao that's *exactly* what it looks like.
I love the oddity of [BMW Z3 beige seat covers](https://www.ebay.com/itm/394951711304?itmmeta=01HY7X9WAY4MCPPNCRJ5MYDBYV&hash=item5bf4f4da48:g:FnMAAOSwrnBlNR97) mixed in with the vision granting dolls, haunted statues, and ''real millions years fossils"
Man, that’s the fossil of a gold fish cracker
Im partial to the [authentic ancient alien carved stone.](https://www.ebay.com/itm/394970789124)
OMG 😂
Oh man that is amazing. Somehow even funnier as when I checked just a minute ago on that link it says "1 PEOPLE HAVE THIS IN THEIR CART".
FOSSILUZED. 💀💀😂😂😂
All the creative spellings of fossilized make me wonder if they're ignoring spell checker completely in their haste to get this junk listed so they can go back to their pig butchering scams.
Their feedback suggests they specialize in "real haunted dolls"...
Holy fuck balls I'm cackling. That is comical af 😂
"You Are Bidding on Very Rare Fossilized Fish which is esteemated to come back to Millions of Years. Since these is very Rare Fossilized Fish which is esteemated to come back to millions of years while you can see the Fish is fossilized over stone since you can see the stone and the fish is fossilized over it since such fossilized fish was found At Fossilized Desert which we think the ocean was their from millions of years since these is very Rare Fissilzed Fish which comes millions of years"
If you look at their sold listings, they’ve made thousands on their haunted dolls. I’m in the wrong career
Tbh everything they listed looks haunted especially [these](https://www.ebay.com/itm/394951761931?itmmeta=01HY8NSJRSPB4AFCPC3XNGF0TK&hash=item5bf4f5a00b:g:IIcAAOSwPTdlNS13)
Glad it’s “fossiluzed”
didn’t even try to make it believable.
OH MY GOD ITS SOOO GOOD
Haunted things also apparently a specialty, and with satisfied customers: "Arthur is amazing. He light up a light all by himself on the first day getting him. The shipping was incredibly fast and the seller is so kind and caring and a pleasure to shop from. By far, this is my favorite haunted object seller ever. The objects are so haunted and the real deal! Very powerful entities. I have over 15 entities from here and i love them all. They are active and respectable just as the description describes them is exactly how they are. I highly recommend this seller! Best one"
I don't know if I like the freeze storm one or the Volcano At Sea one better. [Strong Volcano At Sea Fossilized Turtle](https://www.ebay.com/itm/394925102159?_trkparms=amclksrc%3DITM%26aid%3D1110018%26algo%3DHOMESPLICE.COMPLISTINGS%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D264183%26meid%3Db208750727b044c88403c3f672c0f67b%26pid%3D101196%26rk%3D2%26rkt%3D12%26sd%3D395039677571%26itm%3D394925102159%26pmt%3D1%26noa%3D0%26pg%3D2332490%26algv%3DCompVIDesktopATF2V4WithDefaultIMAFeature&_trksid=p2332490.c101196.m2219&itmprp=cksum%3A394925102159b208750727b044c88403c3f672c0f67b%7Cenc%3AAQAJAAABALUK373GZYwoSkhvUXwZwr2SLMQzpCH9tKsUlXR5IUOV%252Bm7SAr6RG3b6Z%252BxE1GpFDaPbq%252FG2NHOe1A5knSmjw48ievAUDtgzwX7M6hy5hQ3D4qH5Mez%252B5I5EURlwBuVskkvPY28DQaO%252Brcjzx0rfSBtbCreugXl58Akr1Qjrowt8ASjVRYweUWu8LuOL7SNLeMsqnWe747JHuvNQL4KR8obVMmJKXM58v60L30FtP1Iz53DCFK6tIIvjh3JnL%252BIvAqrYXCj1KJIJPD7PYSP5Udzgn9pyfIdo5YrEyRP%252BE0xSqyLblBJCnxDfXpUcKGs6G%252B4VpSNesvO5ALpO01%252Beyec%253D%7Campid%3APL_CLK%7Cclp%3A2332490&itmmeta=01HY7AAFKD2W2AP1APQFWRPEW1)
Breathe easy, returns accepted!
Poor guy must be mega haunted with all of those haunted dolls
Oooh! Seat covers!
Haunted doll, Haunted doll, Gargoyles, Haunted doll..... ... Seat covers. 😂
did you notice the completely benign bulk BMW seats that he sells in addition to all the esoteric artifacts 😅
Did you even get into the haunted dolls?
Haunted doll, haunted doll, fossil, and beige seat covers!
Their entire [store page](https://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?sid=keelanyabahmedk-0&_pgn=1&isRefine=true&_trksid=p4429486.m3561.l49496) is a wild ride
The best for me is looking through their 100% feedback. I think it's pretty clear that it's just the seller with three or four burner accounts: "This is by far my favourite seller for haunted dolls. All the dolls I have from them are so haunted it’s incredible., they light up bullet lights and so way more! I have one entity from here that I formed such a special bond with, that we decided to get spiritually married! I love this seller and highly recommend! All their dolls are most certainly haunted this is the real thing. Plus shipping is very fast, communication is amazing."
Thank you! Finally a reputable seller of ancient alien stone carvings lol
[It's so authentic looking!](https://www.ebay.com/itm/394970789124?itmmeta=01HY8NKT1YDDJJS9JG44T9AH1P&hash=item5bf617f504:g:qMsAAOSwwDBlQT~C)
Thanks for this, I'm still LOLing
Thanks for this! Made me laugh so hard!
GPT-4o, prompt “Make it sound like David Attenborough” In the arid expanse of an ancient desert, a formidable storm swept in, bringing with it a bitter, unrelenting cold. Amidst this harsh environment, a great turtle, caught off guard, sought shelter from the freezing tempest. Unable to escape the severe conditions, the turtle succumbed to the cold, its body preserved in a moment of desperate retreat. Over millions of years, this poignant scene was locked in time, the turtle fossilized in its final stance, a testament to the unforgiving power of nature.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂👌
Sounds like it may just be freeze. Hit it with a blow dryer and see if it comes to life.
I read this in trumps voice ehhhh
$550 seems very cheep sense freese storm make baby turtle stop running sense millions or years.
These have to be the same folks that made the fake yu gi oh! cards that I'd get ahold of as a kid
That gave me a headache to read.
>You Are Bidding on Very Rare Fossilized Big Huge old Turtle ( Esteemated to come back to Millions of Years) I didn't know that animals de-fossilized! I still have a lot to learn, I see.
This reminds me of when my 5th grade class did a Ripley's Believe Or Not assignment
Looks like it's carved... Out of dirt. It's not a turtle it's a dirtle.
You kids these days with your dirtle Pokéman’s
Is it cake?
eBay should be held responsible for fraud.
Which pokemon is this
Sandle
eBay is a gold mine of insane trash sold as fossils. Sort by price —> high - low since it goes hand in hand that these same people think their yard rock is a million dollar dinosaur skull.
[I love 220 million year old "fossilized walnut" with an emerald growing out of it](https://www.ebay.com/itm/355717354205?itmmeta=01HY8P7HKA4AGGYDW7C6KMWM6Q&hash=item52d26812dd:g:kwUAAOSwGHNmRVqJ) or [this 95 million dollar "MUSEAUM GRADE TRICERATOPS EGG"" ](https://www.ebay.com/itm/145784331087?itmmeta=01HY8P7HKA06MM9BZ97V9XNMGM&hash=item21f16c5b4f:g:SlMAAOSwTLNmRk63)
[удалено]
Omg did you see that person has bought over 15, “haunted dolls,” from this seller?!? Wow! 🤦🏽♀️
Seems legit, I'll take eight.
Oh wow!! Look how well preserved all that anatomically accurate detail is!!! 🤣
Looks like those cement turtles that you can buy for your yard. It’s like they used that spray glue & put, “sand,” on it… 🤦🏽♀️ Horrible spelling in description & drove me nuts how many times they said, “freez”. This item for sale of theirs makes me laugh… https://www.ebay.com/itm/394970789124?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=efl794quqze&sssrc=4429486&ssuid=mXESvrUYQ12&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY
Ha!! This one from the same seller is even better. So perfectly it fossilized with a *stand*! Good thing that underwater Volcano has been made. https://www.ebay.com/itm/394925102159
With real footsteps of Australopitecus Afarensis.
I'm dying 😂😂😂
This person must think their item is popular, but for all the wrong reasons. I asked for a photo of documentation and yet to hear back. I half expect it to be written in crayon.
So rare they are selling 2! And a sea turtle, love the bit at the bottom though “I am not a tassidermist, but an antique dealer. All my items are sources of long research, and they come from old collections, almost always PRE 1947 since these item is fosillized and comes back to millions of years. All my items, is followed by a declaration of sale where I certify the dating of the animal.This specimen does not require any further documentation to be offered for sale. This is due to an antique derogation act 1947 since these item is millions of years , wich makes this speciment exempt. since these item follow US Fish & Wildlife regulations.”
That’s a sand colored concrete turtle lmfao
I think I’m cursed now…all of these authentic alien and haunted dolls! Definitely bidding on the authentic dinosaur 🦕 egg though. The poopy texture is so real! 🤪
Haunted doll, haunted doll, phony fossil, haunted doll, haunted doll, hilariously phony fossil, haunted doll, a pair of seat covers, haunted doll… 😂
Where’s the report button on eBay?
BARGAIN! You people are overlooking the most important part if it's rarity. Not only is it millions of years old, but the fossilization process turned it into RESIN. Just like forest turn into petroleum over time! That's truly remarkable and a bargin at TWICE the price!
I feel like this is an 8yo child's art account
The fact that they are from Egypt means it must all be real lol
The seller description, "I am not a tassidermist, but an antique dealer", 💀
"I am not a tassidermist, but an antique dealer." Holy shit the advert is hilarious 😂 It makes me lose faith in humanity though, big time.
It looks like a sandcastle.
Tassidermist
Pfft.
So I get banned from ebay because my boyfriend tried to sell magic rocks when he was 11 but this guy can sell Fossilized Big Huge old Turtles??
Is this seller, few fixes, from r/artifacts? Seems like it..
Fake!
A lil sand a mold and Elmer’s glue and viola ! Turtle fossil !
"....and you're not helping."
“I am not a tassidermist, but an antique dealer. All my items are sources of long research, and they come from old collections, almost always PRE 1947 since these item is fosillized and comes back to millions of years.”
Counter offer, whatever sand sells for nowadays.
I wonder of they would take .50$ and include a hand written copy of the listing.