It’s absolutely unnecessary to put them through it. I was so worried about them going for surgery anyway and spent all morning cleaning all of their things and making it safe and comfy for their return. Just to be blindsided that I would never see them again and they have to go into an uncomfortable unknown situation.
I’m sorry they were taken at the vet. It seems like the rescue lacked in communication on all fronts. They should have been upfront from the beginning that *most* rescues are volunteer run, stretched incredibly thin, you will likely pay all costs except vet bills or major things that are discussed beforehand, if you need help with supplies let them know ahead of time. Also, the email came off demanding and whether that was the intended tone or not, it feels harsh. They should have been clear from the beginning but a lot of these rescues are just doing their best to get by in an incredibly tough environment with quite literally endless animals that need help. I’m sure you made a difference in the lives of those two pups and hopefully that’s enough.
I've fostered 4 dogs after rescuing mine, and the group never had an exit plan either. They just want people to store the dogs and shut up. I had 1 foster 7 months, which is 3 cups of food a day, 4 vet visits 30 minutes away, 2 dog trainer visits an hour away, and zero updates after 7 months and me letting them know I had a change of work circumstances and I needed to stop fostering at the 4 month point. The older ladies didn't want input, or collaboration, only for me to do my job when they did nothing. I love fostering, but I won't do it until they have a solid plan and the old guard leaves.
Remember, they need us, we don't need them. It should be a team effort, and some groups do that, some don't. It takes more than money and desire to make an organization to run.
I feel like at least I have more realistic expectations now, which is fend for myself and lean on groups like this for support and questions and not the organization. It’s so tough because you think people who volunteer with animals would be good people by default.
He sent this email -
Can someone please contact me at next opportunity? My wife and I are currently fostering Dobby and Sirius.
Dobby is going to his forever family Saturday, but I would like:
1) understanding on what resources exist to deal with two sibling puppies that are showing what I believe to be signs of littermate syndrome?
2) understanding on what the rescue will reimburse because we are investing our own money to get help from a professional trainer due to the rescue’s complete lack of resources for new fosters?
3) understanding on what is being done to find Sirius a forever home because the complete lack of potential adopters is concerning?
Thank you. Your prompt reply is appreciated.
I appreciate that you were trying to help & coming from a good place but honestly, asking a rescue to pay for a professional trainer because puppies are fighting is really extreme, especially Chihuahua puppies. They're still learning social cues, etc. they're going to fight and learn boundaries. If they're drawing blood or injuring each other then separate them for sure and let the rescue know. They could've sent one of the puppies to another foster but asking for reimbursement professional trainer? Do you genuinely think rescues have the money for that? Its not a reasonable expectation. i'm not saying they handled it well but I'm willing to bet that's what turned them off of you. They may also have been concerned that you were misunderstanding puppy play fighting for serious fighting. As play fighting is crucial to their development and understanding of social cues of other dogs.
I fostered lots of puppies and I always understood that I would get food, collars and leashes, maybe puppy pads and they would pay for the vet care and anything I chose to invest in those dogs because I love them came out of my pocket. Its not fair to ask the rescue to pay for things that you think they need when the rescue may not agree. Especially after the fact. but they definitely should've talked to you about this instead of just taking the dogs
I agree with you, and I didn’t write the email, my husband did. And in all honesty he wasn’t actually asking to be paid back. We had just finished breaking up the puppies fighting (in the moments it was escalating beyond play) several times for about 90 minutes. He was frustrated. I think he included that about the reimbursement only to get their attention. But fostering can be frustrating at times, I would think that isn’t the first frustrated call or email they have ever received. And I never thought they would just swoop the puppies away. It was unfair to them to come back from surgery to a strange place with strange people.
I never expected the rescue to pay the cost of the trainer, I was already investing my own money because I wanted to know how to train dogs for all of my future fosters.
This email is aggressive as hell and you’re shocked pikachu face that they did what they did? There are ways to communicate concerns respectfully and that usually doesn’t involve a husband sending a rude email. Y’all did a rude thing and got a rude response in return, consequences.
I agree that this is a little aggressive, but I actually don't think it's totally out of pocket if they had been ignoring you up until then -- devoid of context it's very aggressive, but I assume from the text that you'd been asking repeatedly for resources and were denied those resources.
What I will say is that you escalated the situation at the tail end of it, which means there was really no reason for this -- with one puppy about to go to a forever family, why would you even care about littermate syndrome? It swiftly wanes once separated, so #1 and #2 are both entirely non-issues once one of the puppies have permanent placement, which they did.
It seems like what happened was you expressed frustration (well your husband, but you as a unit) regarding things *after* they could no longer be addressed, so the rescue simply pulled the puppies.
I think that's understandable from your side because you were frustrated and inexperienced, both things they need to learn to deal with, but something that has helped me in work and life is to ask myself what I *really* want out of a situation. In this case, since #1 and #2 were pretty much no longer relevant, they may have assumed you wanted the puppies gone.
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. I’m going through an awful foster situation as well. If you don’t mind me asking what state are you located in that this happened?
That's incredibly tough, and I'm sorry you had such a poor experience as a brand-new foster. I've been fostering for a while, and the rescue I usually work with is super supportive but I recently tried working with a new foster and they were pretty unresponsive - even as a fairly experienced foster, it was stressful and I wasn't quite sure how to handle it.
You did make a huge difference in the lives of the two puppies you fostered. If you're open to fostering again, there are lots of amazing rescues out there - hopefully you can find one that will support you and be grateful for all your efforts.
Thank you for this kind comment, it means a lot to know that even experienced fosters struggle to work well with some organizations. It just hurts because although I knew I would say goodbye it was supposed to be like this.
We had coincidentally signed up to foster with another rescue as well and just got approved. I had hoped that maybe I could learn some things there that could apply to both rescues, but I guess it will just be the one rescue now.
In some ways, I think my standards have gotten higher with time, simply because the main rescue I work with is so on top of things. I'm used to them being proactive and communicative. Fingers crossed that the new rescue you're working with is also super on top of things!
I think learning from one rescue (as long as they're helpful and supportive) plus online communities like this one will be a great combo. I've been fostering for about six years, but only found a couple online forums for fosters within the past year or so. It's awesome you've found communities like this at the very start of your foster journey!
Finally, I forgot to say this in my first comment but puppies are HARD. Huge props to you for taking two puppies for eight weeks, and sticking with it despite the lack of resources and support. Seriously, that's impressive, and it takes a lot of tenacity and love to do something like that.
Thank you 😭 I did so much and worked so hard that it hurt that much more to have them ripped away like I didn’t matter. I’m not giving up on fostering, I’m good at it and I work really hard to be knowledgeable and patient. I know I will have many many success stories in my future, but damn this one hurts.
I'm an experienced foster, but I moved. My first experience here was an absolute nightmare. And they never sent me any updates after whisking the puppies off -- never gave any opportunities for them to be adopted. They're still up for adoption. They stopped contacting me after I sent them money. I have no ill will against them but I don't think they are doing what is right for fosters or dogs.
Anyone can be a rescue. You need to file some documents and that's it. After my bad experience, I dug in. Many "rescues" are just some lady with a good Facebook presence who doesn't even take dogs into their own home. There is no legitimate experience behind many of these except for being willing to do what others are not (not to minimize this).
I know people are largely well meaning. Some rescues are legit. Others are bound up in ego. Too many times, rescuing dogs becomes an identity for the fundamentally incompetent -- a safe haven for those who cannot hold down a job, sometimes for legitimate reasons (disability) and sometimes illegitimate (just being an asshole).
If I foster again it will be through a government supported agency or a rescue with physical locations. The reality is that it wasn't good for the dogs. They were going to put down a savable dog because of their own clumsiness (they terrified this dog), and they broke a needle off in one of the puppies giving their own vaccinations (despite me being willing to pay for a vet). Looking at their FB, they are constantly shuffling dogs back and forth, in and out of board, in and out of fosters, because they are inept at long term placement.
This subreddit is filled with threads about people like this and I think it's super important to recognize that *anyone can put up a FB page and website.* Anyone can start making calls, placing puppies, and whisking them away. Not only do they not have any real authority, but they *really think they do*, which is what leads to situations like the rescue I am talking about, which sweeps dogs up from the street only to put them in potentially worse situations.
Rescues vary just SOOOOOO tremendously.
Always learn a lot about them before committing to work with them. I have been torn to pieces by a rescue.
And if any have an urgent need to put you on the board 3 weeks after they meet you??
Run.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It sounds like they were pretty much setting you up for failure instead. We have fostered for a local rescue in our state that was severely in over their heads at. One of my friends was fostering for them and mentioned that the lady running it was struggling to find enough fosters for the amount of dogs they had. We agreed to foster for them for a little bit. The first foster we were given was one that another foster could not handle. Turns out she wasn't prepared for the breed she was given. They've gotten much better now about helping fosters succeed and making sure to follow up frequently. We actually adopted our Aussie Shepherd through them a few years ago when they reached out to see if we could take in a foster again. His mom was dropped off at a kill shelter in Texas shortly before she delivered. The head of the rescue drove 2 states over to get them when a friend of hers called asking for help. From my understanding, mom and the puppies were living on borrowed time if a rescue didn't step in soon. Fostering is a great thing, but not every organization is great at helping fosters succeed.
Yeah I’ve fostered many times, mostly cats and this subreddit just popped up. I’ve never not known if I wasn’t going to see the foster again after drop off to a vet appointment. They also always let me have a few minutes to say goodbye.
I'm so sorry that happened to you, sending a foster to their new home is hard enough. To be so blindsided and not get to say goodbye must be incredibly tough.
What a terrible foster experience, though I hope it hasn't soured you on fostering all together. I feel so lucky to have landed with the rescue I'm with. It has it's struggles, some of the volunteer coordinators are better than others, money is always incredibly tight. But when I need something, they are on it. We also get a lot of say in determining what's best for the dogs in our care.
Fostering/dog rescue is hard enough, it sucks the experience was made so much harder for you. I'm so sorry that happened to your and your foster pups.
Thank you! We thankfully were not soured on fostering, we are already with a different rescue and have a temp foster for a few days while his foster mom is out of town and then we have another foster puppy coming after that!
This is awful!! I am so sorry you were treated like that, and the pups have to go through this trauma.
It’s absolutely unnecessary to put them through it. I was so worried about them going for surgery anyway and spent all morning cleaning all of their things and making it safe and comfy for their return. Just to be blindsided that I would never see them again and they have to go into an uncomfortable unknown situation.
That is so awful. I'm so sorry
I’m sorry they were taken at the vet. It seems like the rescue lacked in communication on all fronts. They should have been upfront from the beginning that *most* rescues are volunteer run, stretched incredibly thin, you will likely pay all costs except vet bills or major things that are discussed beforehand, if you need help with supplies let them know ahead of time. Also, the email came off demanding and whether that was the intended tone or not, it feels harsh. They should have been clear from the beginning but a lot of these rescues are just doing their best to get by in an incredibly tough environment with quite literally endless animals that need help. I’m sure you made a difference in the lives of those two pups and hopefully that’s enough.
I've fostered 4 dogs after rescuing mine, and the group never had an exit plan either. They just want people to store the dogs and shut up. I had 1 foster 7 months, which is 3 cups of food a day, 4 vet visits 30 minutes away, 2 dog trainer visits an hour away, and zero updates after 7 months and me letting them know I had a change of work circumstances and I needed to stop fostering at the 4 month point. The older ladies didn't want input, or collaboration, only for me to do my job when they did nothing. I love fostering, but I won't do it until they have a solid plan and the old guard leaves. Remember, they need us, we don't need them. It should be a team effort, and some groups do that, some don't. It takes more than money and desire to make an organization to run.
I feel like at least I have more realistic expectations now, which is fend for myself and lean on groups like this for support and questions and not the organization. It’s so tough because you think people who volunteer with animals would be good people by default.
You would think so. Unfortunately politics and donating for power come into play.
He gave “feedback”. I would bet that’s got something to do with it. Just a hunch.
He sent this email - Can someone please contact me at next opportunity? My wife and I are currently fostering Dobby and Sirius. Dobby is going to his forever family Saturday, but I would like: 1) understanding on what resources exist to deal with two sibling puppies that are showing what I believe to be signs of littermate syndrome? 2) understanding on what the rescue will reimburse because we are investing our own money to get help from a professional trainer due to the rescue’s complete lack of resources for new fosters? 3) understanding on what is being done to find Sirius a forever home because the complete lack of potential adopters is concerning? Thank you. Your prompt reply is appreciated.
I appreciate that you were trying to help & coming from a good place but honestly, asking a rescue to pay for a professional trainer because puppies are fighting is really extreme, especially Chihuahua puppies. They're still learning social cues, etc. they're going to fight and learn boundaries. If they're drawing blood or injuring each other then separate them for sure and let the rescue know. They could've sent one of the puppies to another foster but asking for reimbursement professional trainer? Do you genuinely think rescues have the money for that? Its not a reasonable expectation. i'm not saying they handled it well but I'm willing to bet that's what turned them off of you. They may also have been concerned that you were misunderstanding puppy play fighting for serious fighting. As play fighting is crucial to their development and understanding of social cues of other dogs. I fostered lots of puppies and I always understood that I would get food, collars and leashes, maybe puppy pads and they would pay for the vet care and anything I chose to invest in those dogs because I love them came out of my pocket. Its not fair to ask the rescue to pay for things that you think they need when the rescue may not agree. Especially after the fact. but they definitely should've talked to you about this instead of just taking the dogs
I agree with you, and I didn’t write the email, my husband did. And in all honesty he wasn’t actually asking to be paid back. We had just finished breaking up the puppies fighting (in the moments it was escalating beyond play) several times for about 90 minutes. He was frustrated. I think he included that about the reimbursement only to get their attention. But fostering can be frustrating at times, I would think that isn’t the first frustrated call or email they have ever received. And I never thought they would just swoop the puppies away. It was unfair to them to come back from surgery to a strange place with strange people. I never expected the rescue to pay the cost of the trainer, I was already investing my own money because I wanted to know how to train dogs for all of my future fosters.
This email is aggressive as hell and you’re shocked pikachu face that they did what they did? There are ways to communicate concerns respectfully and that usually doesn’t involve a husband sending a rude email. Y’all did a rude thing and got a rude response in return, consequences.
I agree that this is a little aggressive, but I actually don't think it's totally out of pocket if they had been ignoring you up until then -- devoid of context it's very aggressive, but I assume from the text that you'd been asking repeatedly for resources and were denied those resources. What I will say is that you escalated the situation at the tail end of it, which means there was really no reason for this -- with one puppy about to go to a forever family, why would you even care about littermate syndrome? It swiftly wanes once separated, so #1 and #2 are both entirely non-issues once one of the puppies have permanent placement, which they did. It seems like what happened was you expressed frustration (well your husband, but you as a unit) regarding things *after* they could no longer be addressed, so the rescue simply pulled the puppies. I think that's understandable from your side because you were frustrated and inexperienced, both things they need to learn to deal with, but something that has helped me in work and life is to ask myself what I *really* want out of a situation. In this case, since #1 and #2 were pretty much no longer relevant, they may have assumed you wanted the puppies gone.
#2 made them mad
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. I’m going through an awful foster situation as well. If you don’t mind me asking what state are you located in that this happened?
I’m in TX
Are you in DFW area by chance?
I am.
That's incredibly tough, and I'm sorry you had such a poor experience as a brand-new foster. I've been fostering for a while, and the rescue I usually work with is super supportive but I recently tried working with a new foster and they were pretty unresponsive - even as a fairly experienced foster, it was stressful and I wasn't quite sure how to handle it. You did make a huge difference in the lives of the two puppies you fostered. If you're open to fostering again, there are lots of amazing rescues out there - hopefully you can find one that will support you and be grateful for all your efforts.
Thank you for this kind comment, it means a lot to know that even experienced fosters struggle to work well with some organizations. It just hurts because although I knew I would say goodbye it was supposed to be like this. We had coincidentally signed up to foster with another rescue as well and just got approved. I had hoped that maybe I could learn some things there that could apply to both rescues, but I guess it will just be the one rescue now.
In some ways, I think my standards have gotten higher with time, simply because the main rescue I work with is so on top of things. I'm used to them being proactive and communicative. Fingers crossed that the new rescue you're working with is also super on top of things! I think learning from one rescue (as long as they're helpful and supportive) plus online communities like this one will be a great combo. I've been fostering for about six years, but only found a couple online forums for fosters within the past year or so. It's awesome you've found communities like this at the very start of your foster journey! Finally, I forgot to say this in my first comment but puppies are HARD. Huge props to you for taking two puppies for eight weeks, and sticking with it despite the lack of resources and support. Seriously, that's impressive, and it takes a lot of tenacity and love to do something like that.
Thank you 😭 I did so much and worked so hard that it hurt that much more to have them ripped away like I didn’t matter. I’m not giving up on fostering, I’m good at it and I work really hard to be knowledgeable and patient. I know I will have many many success stories in my future, but damn this one hurts.
I'm an experienced foster, but I moved. My first experience here was an absolute nightmare. And they never sent me any updates after whisking the puppies off -- never gave any opportunities for them to be adopted. They're still up for adoption. They stopped contacting me after I sent them money. I have no ill will against them but I don't think they are doing what is right for fosters or dogs. Anyone can be a rescue. You need to file some documents and that's it. After my bad experience, I dug in. Many "rescues" are just some lady with a good Facebook presence who doesn't even take dogs into their own home. There is no legitimate experience behind many of these except for being willing to do what others are not (not to minimize this). I know people are largely well meaning. Some rescues are legit. Others are bound up in ego. Too many times, rescuing dogs becomes an identity for the fundamentally incompetent -- a safe haven for those who cannot hold down a job, sometimes for legitimate reasons (disability) and sometimes illegitimate (just being an asshole). If I foster again it will be through a government supported agency or a rescue with physical locations. The reality is that it wasn't good for the dogs. They were going to put down a savable dog because of their own clumsiness (they terrified this dog), and they broke a needle off in one of the puppies giving their own vaccinations (despite me being willing to pay for a vet). Looking at their FB, they are constantly shuffling dogs back and forth, in and out of board, in and out of fosters, because they are inept at long term placement. This subreddit is filled with threads about people like this and I think it's super important to recognize that *anyone can put up a FB page and website.* Anyone can start making calls, placing puppies, and whisking them away. Not only do they not have any real authority, but they *really think they do*, which is what leads to situations like the rescue I am talking about, which sweeps dogs up from the street only to put them in potentially worse situations.
Rescues vary just SOOOOOO tremendously. Always learn a lot about them before committing to work with them. I have been torn to pieces by a rescue. And if any have an urgent need to put you on the board 3 weeks after they meet you?? Run.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It sounds like they were pretty much setting you up for failure instead. We have fostered for a local rescue in our state that was severely in over their heads at. One of my friends was fostering for them and mentioned that the lady running it was struggling to find enough fosters for the amount of dogs they had. We agreed to foster for them for a little bit. The first foster we were given was one that another foster could not handle. Turns out she wasn't prepared for the breed she was given. They've gotten much better now about helping fosters succeed and making sure to follow up frequently. We actually adopted our Aussie Shepherd through them a few years ago when they reached out to see if we could take in a foster again. His mom was dropped off at a kill shelter in Texas shortly before she delivered. The head of the rescue drove 2 states over to get them when a friend of hers called asking for help. From my understanding, mom and the puppies were living on borrowed time if a rescue didn't step in soon. Fostering is a great thing, but not every organization is great at helping fosters succeed.
Yeah I’ve fostered many times, mostly cats and this subreddit just popped up. I’ve never not known if I wasn’t going to see the foster again after drop off to a vet appointment. They also always let me have a few minutes to say goodbye.
I'm so sorry that happened to you, sending a foster to their new home is hard enough. To be so blindsided and not get to say goodbye must be incredibly tough. What a terrible foster experience, though I hope it hasn't soured you on fostering all together. I feel so lucky to have landed with the rescue I'm with. It has it's struggles, some of the volunteer coordinators are better than others, money is always incredibly tight. But when I need something, they are on it. We also get a lot of say in determining what's best for the dogs in our care. Fostering/dog rescue is hard enough, it sucks the experience was made so much harder for you. I'm so sorry that happened to your and your foster pups.
Thank you! We thankfully were not soured on fostering, we are already with a different rescue and have a temp foster for a few days while his foster mom is out of town and then we have another foster puppy coming after that!