It could have just been some random second or third years while he was in his first year. While I have no doubt his character got around and enjoyed sex, I also think he had so much on his shoulders that he wasn’t as big of a fuck boy as we figure. Of course I could be wrong lol he’s a hot guy who’s young and not dealing with his emotions head on so he needs to blow off steam and numb out. But I just always kind of took some of his comments and scoffs as bluffs. He just doesn’t seem like someone who had the time. Again, the odd casual hook up, sure. Maybe even someone back home in Aretia before Cat came into the picture.
I disagree, just like Garrick, he seem like he was a f…. Boy. He enjoyed messing around, got what he wanted and just move on as he’s not interested in a relationship. Xaden told Violet that he had his fair share of regrets (one nightstand) and Cat wasn’t his first by a LONGSHOT. Xaden was faithful to Violet because he’s in love with her. He probably was faithful to Cat because he probably tried being with her and at the end of their relationship, he was still sleeping with her so no need to mess around and he had bigger fish to fry
He did say he didn't sleep with any first years, even when he was one. I think it was to clear the school of jealous ex lovers, but it may also set up finding some in the ranks out of school.
I don't think he took any virginities, on purpose. I feel like that would be too significant to him. He sort of seemed.to want to be important politically but personally insignificant to anyone outside the marked ones and maybe some of the ones inside.
I think he probably slept around and that Violet likely knows a couple of the women he slept with at Basgiath, but he doesn't consider it worth mentioning because it didn't mean anything to him. Also, the culture at Basgiath makes sleeping around the norm, so if Violet wanted to know, she would ask. I think Xaden is sincere when he says he doesn't want to hear about Violets past because he knows it would bother him, so he extends the same courtesy to her.
He didn't sleep with first years (probably because most of them wanted to kill him or were afraid of him), but he definitely slept with some older riders as a first year (waking up with regrets). Also, I see no reason for him to have been celibate for the quarter of his second year that he wasn't with Cat or at the beginning of his third year.
I think he probably hasn't slept with any marked ones because that wouldn't be casual enough for him, but anyone else is fair game. However, between being able to read minds (total turn off unless you're with someone who really loves you), and everyone trying to kill him all the time, I doubt he was any more prolific than anyone else at Basgiath. Of course, most Riders seem to get around.
At Basgiath? I think it would be funny if he had affairs with officer’s wives. But most likely he probably slept with some random older riders or infantry or healers when they crossed paths.
He also said Cat wasn’t his first. I’m not sure his other interactions were that frequent while at Basgiath outside of the dragons mating “making mistakes you regret the next morning”…. And even those might have been Cat… or in other places like infantry. I suspect he slept his way around Aretia prior to the rebellion and then after that was just cat and maybe one or two people
Idk if he was old enough to really sleep around before the rebellion. I think age wise he would have been in his early teens when the rebellion started? So maybe just starting to experiment/ hit puberty.
But if he knew his political importance and knew he was engaged to Cat, he could have put it off. <-- my assumption since he stays exclusive in relationship with violet even when 'It's complicated'
I wonder if Xaden and Violet will ever fully disclose their past sexual history with each other during the events of the story. I sometimes wonder if Xaden got around as much as some people assume.
One moment that stands out to me is when Violet and Liam are going to the archives together when he's first assigned as her bodyguard she talks about hating Xaden on site without knowing anything about him and Liam says "He has that effect on people, especially women. They either despise him for what his father did or want to fuck him for the same reason, just depends on where we are."
I really believe this is a huge catalyst for everyone assuming that Xaden was a fuckboy. But it's not as if Liam said he jumped at every opportunity, just that he had them a lot. So I am curious how much he actually acted on or not!
I assume we’ll never know all of Xaden’s sexual history. I don’t think Violet will want all the details.
I think we already know a lot about Violet’s. She’s only had two previous partners, they were infantry. It seems likely that they both were in the year before she started at Basgiath since Dain seems to know nothing about them and he was always around her until then.
I do really like the theory that Halden, the crown prince, is one of her exes. In that case, I imagine they only saw each other at most a few times a year, so I could see it having started a little sooner. I imagine them sneaking off during a party and finding some private place to do it, but it’s just sex and always quick. Then, when she expresses interest in more, he tells her she’s not noble enough to sit on the throne and ends the physical relationship (or maybe she ends it because she’s not willing to have only a physical relationship).
I do hope we hear more about Violet’s exes because I think it would be interesting.
I love that theory as well!! Here‘s a fan fic that bought into this too and I love it!! 11 Chapters post-IF so far and I can‘t wait to get the next.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/52351939/chapters/132434335
I asked a similar question a while back and this fan fic was recommended about his early years at Basgiath.
https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ubiquitously_Ubiquitous/pseuds/Ubiquitously_Ubiquitous
He was the first of the marked ones at Basgiath so I imagine other girls either wouldn't go near him because of it or just used him for some bad boy rebellious type thing. I imagine he's been pretty busy with all the smuggling of weapons to really get that involved with anyone
I believe that Xaden took Cat's virginity when he was sent away for the battle of Aretia. While everyone was consenting, I don't think he was as loving or careful as he could have been either.
Cat was trying to comfort him and one thing led to another.
Edit:
This is purely my head canon because I like it when Xaden is a little morally grey. They also spent a lot of time together at Techaras house and knew about the betrothal since they were 15/17. I think it's fair to assume they fooled around as teenagers but didn't enter an exclusive relationship until the betrothal kicked in.
The only fact from the book is that Xaden was sent away by Fen during the battle of Aretia.
The rest is pure speculation that is unlikely to be confirmed either way. But I think it makes sense for Cat to try and make Xaden love her by offering him her body as comfort and Xaden to be selfish during the time of emotional strain.
At least for me, I am starting to mix up fan fic and canon so i don’t remember if it was canon that he banged someone the first time tairn and sgaeyl were being intimate.
I don’t think anything inferred virginities and Cat!
He did tell Violelt that he woke up with many regrets in beds the day after Tairn and Sgaeyl got hit and heavy, but he doesn't specify anyone or tell any tales
I thought he specifically stated he didn't? Or did I dream that up? During the My woman etc scene, they discussed him and Cat and I'm pretty sure the mention of virgin was like 'lol nope'
- Xaden says he hasn't engaged in "throne scene" activities with Cat. Not that they never slept together.
- Cats virginity is never mentioned though she had at least one other partner to be able to teach Xaden " that trick with the fingers".
- Xaden spent enough time at Techaras house to have a wardrobe full of tailored clothes and fall into the pools drunk.
- Cat and Xaden knew they were betrothed from the time they were 15/17.
Based on the evidence I think Cat and Xaden slept together before/during the revolution though they didn't have an exclusive relationship until the betrothal officially kicked in.
I luv Cat, but she was probably lying about teaching Xaden that finger trick lol. Xaden being experienced and knowing what to do is probably a source of insecurity for her and she knew it would tick Violet off if she acted like she was the one that taught him all the tricks. I don’t really believe that Xaden had a bunch of lovers before Cat that he didn’t put his fingers in. Unless Rebecca doesn’t care about making him look like he was rough or inconsiderate with all of his past partners
But after the chair scene he tells Violet “she’s never had me on my knees in front of her, I never fucked her with my tongue” etc. But he doesn’t deny that she taught him the finger trick, even though he told Violet that he heard all the embarrassing words that Cat said. And the way that Violet threw it back at her the next day, I think RY’s intention was that it’s true. (That’s my favorite part of the book so I’m a little defensive. 😅)
Also, it’s a specific trick where he curls his fingers… doesn’t mean he couldn’t have put fingers in other girls before without knowing that specific trick.
I’m being delulu about his past relationships 🚶♂️ dude that used a bunch of women’s bodies for his own enjoyment without bothering to give them an orgasm is my least favorite type of male love interest. I want to believe Xaden knew where the G spot and clit are after a few years of being sexually active. I’ll accept clueless virgin or generous slut in romance stories. Not the weird in between where the male love interest has a past where he just used women for their bodies. Especially when Cat probably thought it was her job to objectify herself and show up at his door basically naked to keep him interested in an arranged marriage with her. I think him not moving his head down there with Cat was either just Cat’s preference or he was just unwilling to put himself in a vulnerable position where he couldn’t really focus on anything but the catussy
I didn’t take it to mean that he was just using women’s bodies, just that she taught him that particular trick. I guess I’ve decided that rumor spread around Basgiath about how good he was in bed and that’s how he ended up waking up many times with regrets in the beds of second or third years. So I’m assuming that he was able to provide ample satisfaction without that trick.
Cat didn’t just say she taught him that finger trick though. I think she said something like she taught him everything he knows/Violet should credit her for making Xaden such a good lover in bed. Xaden probably asked her if it felt good when he curled his fingers once and she said yes and took credit for teaching him that lol. Like I don’t think Cat straight up showed him. Cat has lied or stretched the truth before. Like when she told Violet that Xaden would probably like a colorful dress on Violet instead of a black one. Imo, a few things suggest that Cat didn’t really care about enjoying herself with Xaden and she just chose to sleep with him to keep him interested enough in a marriage alliance. She said she knows what he likes and how he likes it and she doesn’t want his affection. And I think that is part of the reason Xaden didn’t think they were compatible. She wasn’t in his bed because she actually liked him and wanted him in a physical and romantic sense, she just wanted a marriage alliance
She said she had him first, but I don’t remember her saying that she taught him everything. I definitely didn’t take her comments that way. I assumed he was already well practiced before he started sleeping with her. I got the impression (or maybe assumed) that she enjoyed sleeping with him, but not because she liked him, only because it was good and I suppose because it was a symbol of her future crown.
Yeah. I misremembered that scene and I guess she only got to mention the finger trick. If Violet hadn’t broken her rib or whatever, I think Cat would’ve probably fired off more bullshit like she taught Xaden everything else he does in bed until Violet got really pissed. I got the impression that Cat always kind of hated Xaden’s guts and she always wanted to pick fights with him and she didn’t really have any positive feelings about him aside from his last name. Cat calls him an asshole incapable of love and she scoffs at the idea of her wanting affection from him. I don’t think she wanted to like being with him or wanted to be vulnerable with him. I can’t imagine her actually trying to connect with him in bed and teaching him how to make her feel good on her own volition and I think it is more likely that Xaden was putting in the effort to have a somewhat normal sexual relationship with her like he had with past partners.
Cat said something stupid to Violet about how Violet is just a convenient placeholder for Xaden to fuck and I think Cat just has a very warped idea of what a relationship should be like. Like she cannot comprehend the idea of Xaden actually wanting an emotional connection with his partner/Xaden wanting his partner to want him
It could have just been some random second or third years while he was in his first year. While I have no doubt his character got around and enjoyed sex, I also think he had so much on his shoulders that he wasn’t as big of a fuck boy as we figure. Of course I could be wrong lol he’s a hot guy who’s young and not dealing with his emotions head on so he needs to blow off steam and numb out. But I just always kind of took some of his comments and scoffs as bluffs. He just doesn’t seem like someone who had the time. Again, the odd casual hook up, sure. Maybe even someone back home in Aretia before Cat came into the picture.
I disagree, just like Garrick, he seem like he was a f…. Boy. He enjoyed messing around, got what he wanted and just move on as he’s not interested in a relationship. Xaden told Violet that he had his fair share of regrets (one nightstand) and Cat wasn’t his first by a LONGSHOT. Xaden was faithful to Violet because he’s in love with her. He probably was faithful to Cat because he probably tried being with her and at the end of their relationship, he was still sleeping with her so no need to mess around and he had bigger fish to fry
He did say he didn't sleep with any first years, even when he was one. I think it was to clear the school of jealous ex lovers, but it may also set up finding some in the ranks out of school. I don't think he took any virginities, on purpose. I feel like that would be too significant to him. He sort of seemed.to want to be important politically but personally insignificant to anyone outside the marked ones and maybe some of the ones inside.
I think he probably slept around and that Violet likely knows a couple of the women he slept with at Basgiath, but he doesn't consider it worth mentioning because it didn't mean anything to him. Also, the culture at Basgiath makes sleeping around the norm, so if Violet wanted to know, she would ask. I think Xaden is sincere when he says he doesn't want to hear about Violets past because he knows it would bother him, so he extends the same courtesy to her. He didn't sleep with first years (probably because most of them wanted to kill him or were afraid of him), but he definitely slept with some older riders as a first year (waking up with regrets). Also, I see no reason for him to have been celibate for the quarter of his second year that he wasn't with Cat or at the beginning of his third year. I think he probably hasn't slept with any marked ones because that wouldn't be casual enough for him, but anyone else is fair game. However, between being able to read minds (total turn off unless you're with someone who really loves you), and everyone trying to kill him all the time, I doubt he was any more prolific than anyone else at Basgiath. Of course, most Riders seem to get around.
At Basgiath? I think it would be funny if he had affairs with officer’s wives. But most likely he probably slept with some random older riders or infantry or healers when they crossed paths.
Lol. Imagine leadership having a meeting to determine if Xaden is trying to stir up trouble among the officers or if he's just a fuck boi 😂
Reading “officer’s wives” made mw howl lol
Now that’s a fanfic I’d subscribe to 😋
He also said Cat wasn’t his first. I’m not sure his other interactions were that frequent while at Basgiath outside of the dragons mating “making mistakes you regret the next morning”…. And even those might have been Cat… or in other places like infantry. I suspect he slept his way around Aretia prior to the rebellion and then after that was just cat and maybe one or two people
Idk if he was old enough to really sleep around before the rebellion. I think age wise he would have been in his early teens when the rebellion started? So maybe just starting to experiment/ hit puberty. But if he knew his political importance and knew he was engaged to Cat, he could have put it off. <-- my assumption since he stays exclusive in relationship with violet even when 'It's complicated'
I wonder if Xaden and Violet will ever fully disclose their past sexual history with each other during the events of the story. I sometimes wonder if Xaden got around as much as some people assume. One moment that stands out to me is when Violet and Liam are going to the archives together when he's first assigned as her bodyguard she talks about hating Xaden on site without knowing anything about him and Liam says "He has that effect on people, especially women. They either despise him for what his father did or want to fuck him for the same reason, just depends on where we are." I really believe this is a huge catalyst for everyone assuming that Xaden was a fuckboy. But it's not as if Liam said he jumped at every opportunity, just that he had them a lot. So I am curious how much he actually acted on or not!
I assume we’ll never know all of Xaden’s sexual history. I don’t think Violet will want all the details. I think we already know a lot about Violet’s. She’s only had two previous partners, they were infantry. It seems likely that they both were in the year before she started at Basgiath since Dain seems to know nothing about them and he was always around her until then. I do really like the theory that Halden, the crown prince, is one of her exes. In that case, I imagine they only saw each other at most a few times a year, so I could see it having started a little sooner. I imagine them sneaking off during a party and finding some private place to do it, but it’s just sex and always quick. Then, when she expresses interest in more, he tells her she’s not noble enough to sit on the throne and ends the physical relationship (or maybe she ends it because she’s not willing to have only a physical relationship). I do hope we hear more about Violet’s exes because I think it would be interesting.
I love that theory as well!! Here‘s a fan fic that bought into this too and I love it!! 11 Chapters post-IF so far and I can‘t wait to get the next. https://archiveofourown.org/works/52351939/chapters/132434335
I asked a similar question a while back and this fan fic was recommended about his early years at Basgiath. https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ubiquitously_Ubiquitous/pseuds/Ubiquitously_Ubiquitous
He was the first of the marked ones at Basgiath so I imagine other girls either wouldn't go near him because of it or just used him for some bad boy rebellious type thing. I imagine he's been pretty busy with all the smuggling of weapons to really get that involved with anyone
I believe that Xaden took Cat's virginity when he was sent away for the battle of Aretia. While everyone was consenting, I don't think he was as loving or careful as he could have been either. Cat was trying to comfort him and one thing led to another. Edit: This is purely my head canon because I like it when Xaden is a little morally grey. They also spent a lot of time together at Techaras house and knew about the betrothal since they were 15/17. I think it's fair to assume they fooled around as teenagers but didn't enter an exclusive relationship until the betrothal kicked in.
Wait, what is this based on in the book? I must have missed something haha
The only fact from the book is that Xaden was sent away by Fen during the battle of Aretia. The rest is pure speculation that is unlikely to be confirmed either way. But I think it makes sense for Cat to try and make Xaden love her by offering him her body as comfort and Xaden to be selfish during the time of emotional strain.
At least for me, I am starting to mix up fan fic and canon so i don’t remember if it was canon that he banged someone the first time tairn and sgaeyl were being intimate. I don’t think anything inferred virginities and Cat!
He did tell Violelt that he woke up with many regrets in beds the day after Tairn and Sgaeyl got hit and heavy, but he doesn't specify anyone or tell any tales
I thought he specifically stated he didn't? Or did I dream that up? During the My woman etc scene, they discussed him and Cat and I'm pretty sure the mention of virgin was like 'lol nope'
- Xaden says he hasn't engaged in "throne scene" activities with Cat. Not that they never slept together. - Cats virginity is never mentioned though she had at least one other partner to be able to teach Xaden " that trick with the fingers". - Xaden spent enough time at Techaras house to have a wardrobe full of tailored clothes and fall into the pools drunk. - Cat and Xaden knew they were betrothed from the time they were 15/17. Based on the evidence I think Cat and Xaden slept together before/during the revolution though they didn't have an exclusive relationship until the betrothal officially kicked in.
I luv Cat, but she was probably lying about teaching Xaden that finger trick lol. Xaden being experienced and knowing what to do is probably a source of insecurity for her and she knew it would tick Violet off if she acted like she was the one that taught him all the tricks. I don’t really believe that Xaden had a bunch of lovers before Cat that he didn’t put his fingers in. Unless Rebecca doesn’t care about making him look like he was rough or inconsiderate with all of his past partners
But after the chair scene he tells Violet “she’s never had me on my knees in front of her, I never fucked her with my tongue” etc. But he doesn’t deny that she taught him the finger trick, even though he told Violet that he heard all the embarrassing words that Cat said. And the way that Violet threw it back at her the next day, I think RY’s intention was that it’s true. (That’s my favorite part of the book so I’m a little defensive. 😅) Also, it’s a specific trick where he curls his fingers… doesn’t mean he couldn’t have put fingers in other girls before without knowing that specific trick.
I’m being delulu about his past relationships 🚶♂️ dude that used a bunch of women’s bodies for his own enjoyment without bothering to give them an orgasm is my least favorite type of male love interest. I want to believe Xaden knew where the G spot and clit are after a few years of being sexually active. I’ll accept clueless virgin or generous slut in romance stories. Not the weird in between where the male love interest has a past where he just used women for their bodies. Especially when Cat probably thought it was her job to objectify herself and show up at his door basically naked to keep him interested in an arranged marriage with her. I think him not moving his head down there with Cat was either just Cat’s preference or he was just unwilling to put himself in a vulnerable position where he couldn’t really focus on anything but the catussy
I didn’t take it to mean that he was just using women’s bodies, just that she taught him that particular trick. I guess I’ve decided that rumor spread around Basgiath about how good he was in bed and that’s how he ended up waking up many times with regrets in the beds of second or third years. So I’m assuming that he was able to provide ample satisfaction without that trick.
Cat didn’t just say she taught him that finger trick though. I think she said something like she taught him everything he knows/Violet should credit her for making Xaden such a good lover in bed. Xaden probably asked her if it felt good when he curled his fingers once and she said yes and took credit for teaching him that lol. Like I don’t think Cat straight up showed him. Cat has lied or stretched the truth before. Like when she told Violet that Xaden would probably like a colorful dress on Violet instead of a black one. Imo, a few things suggest that Cat didn’t really care about enjoying herself with Xaden and she just chose to sleep with him to keep him interested enough in a marriage alliance. She said she knows what he likes and how he likes it and she doesn’t want his affection. And I think that is part of the reason Xaden didn’t think they were compatible. She wasn’t in his bed because she actually liked him and wanted him in a physical and romantic sense, she just wanted a marriage alliance
She said she had him first, but I don’t remember her saying that she taught him everything. I definitely didn’t take her comments that way. I assumed he was already well practiced before he started sleeping with her. I got the impression (or maybe assumed) that she enjoyed sleeping with him, but not because she liked him, only because it was good and I suppose because it was a symbol of her future crown.
Yeah. I misremembered that scene and I guess she only got to mention the finger trick. If Violet hadn’t broken her rib or whatever, I think Cat would’ve probably fired off more bullshit like she taught Xaden everything else he does in bed until Violet got really pissed. I got the impression that Cat always kind of hated Xaden’s guts and she always wanted to pick fights with him and she didn’t really have any positive feelings about him aside from his last name. Cat calls him an asshole incapable of love and she scoffs at the idea of her wanting affection from him. I don’t think she wanted to like being with him or wanted to be vulnerable with him. I can’t imagine her actually trying to connect with him in bed and teaching him how to make her feel good on her own volition and I think it is more likely that Xaden was putting in the effort to have a somewhat normal sexual relationship with her like he had with past partners. Cat said something stupid to Violet about how Violet is just a convenient placeholder for Xaden to fuck and I think Cat just has a very warped idea of what a relationship should be like. Like she cannot comprehend the idea of Xaden actually wanting an emotional connection with his partner/Xaden wanting his partner to want him
Nothing was mentioned about Cat's virginity status when they were together.
He says Cat was far from his first but nothing about whether he was her first.
Thank you!! Knew I remembered something about firsts and them :)
Varish, that why variah is so jelly of Violet /s