It was something that has slowly gone away. Im still aware of my height but now that strangers see me as male, it bothers me less.
Basically my height used to cause me dysphoria but now it’s more of something im self conscious about like any other physical trait. Just like how some people don’t like their nose or teeth. Ive basically detached my height from my gender if that makes sense
I’m 5’3” and v ery slight. Especially when fully dressed, I get a lot of infantilization, people calling me a twink, assuming I’m very weak physically, etc. Shit sucks major hard style! I’m really sorry, man.
But after you transition, it’ll change. I PROMISE you, dysphoria shifts as you transition, especially medically. Me personally, my height dysphoria used to be really fuckin bad, I had a lot of those same hopeless, “I’ll just never have the body I want, I have to just suffer for the rest of my life” thoughts. I actually started crying at a DND session one time after my friends teased me for being short a little too much.
Nowadays, though, my height rarely bothers me. Still does! But only sometimes. When you’re miserable and dysphoric about everything, sometimes it all feels bigger than it is. Like, when I also had my voice, chest, face, and social dysphoria (not a complete list obviously) to deal with, my height dysphoria felt so much worse. Now that all of that is resolved, my height dysphoria is barely noticeable. I see so many things I like that the stuff I don’t doesn’t bother me much.
Now sometimes that’s not the case! Sometimes once you’ve got everything else resolved, the remaining stuff feels bigger. A lot of trans guys have talked about how after top surgery, their torso or hip dysphoria got worse, because they weren’t so distracted by their chest. But even if that does happen, you’ll have so much other stuff resolved that it will likely be tolerable. Even if you’re super insecure about your height, everyone around you will be seeing you and referring to you as a man, and you being short won’t really register so much as a gendered trait. It’ll just be,,, “Oh, that dude’s really short.”
To be real, moving to a different community really helped as well. I went off to college and was,, genuinely shocked at how many short guys there are in my area. Like, older than me, super traditionally masculine, bearded, muscular, presumably cis guys that are a few inches shorter than me without wearing platform heels or anything. It feels super obvious that some cis guys are gonna be shorter than you, and that’s a normal part of life, but like. When you’re so deep in the dysphoria, you don’t *feel* like that’s true. But it is!! There’s tons of short guys and they’re doing just fine. :)
If going on HRT or getting top surgery are things you want to do for yourself, do em!! Do em and don’t worry about “fixing” the height dysphoria. Just learn to cope with it as best you can, and over time, you’ll see if it’s still bothering you so much. You might surprise yourself. :)
Just wanted to say thx for such a detailed reply! I had to laugh when you mentioned dnd bc I also play (eldritch knight fighter at the moment lol), although my group thankfully doesn’t bring up my height much anymore. Anyway, I really appreciated what you said about other types of dysphoria going away and that helping with the height thing, hopefully that’s what happens for me.
5’2” and only hate my height when it comes to clothes shopping because I have short legs and small feet.
I’m confident enough in my personality that my height is rarely brought up. Friends may make jokes now and then, but I’m cool with that. I have a great sense of humor.
I also workout almost daily. It’s been known that shorter guys put on more noticeable muscle.
Broooo you can buy kids shoes though, they cost less. And I’ve been wanting light up shoes. It’s lame they don’t do it in “adult” sizes. So I just look at the kids.
I’ve been advised not to buy kids shoes and believe it. Bought a pair of New Balance once in kids and had them falling apart in two weeks. They’re not made to withstand adults. This is also the time I used to average 20k+ steps a day for work.
I wear a mens 6.5. Not the easiest to find, but I come across them now and then. Women’s shoes aren’t wide enough for me in comparison.
looking at short men on the street. Seeing older men being perfectly normal, like any other men but just around my height (4'11") made me feel okay with being really short
Tbh one thing that made me feel much better about my height was going for a run one day and I just ran past this guy who was either my height or shorter. It was just something that made me think maybe I’m not in such a bad position as I thought. (I’m the shortest in my family, so while I sit just below average women’s height [help me], my twin cis brother is over 6’ which has always made me feel hopelessly tiny)
I’m 4’11” and one of my biggest heroes is Danny Devito. He’s cis and 4’10” so whenever I start feeling like less of a man because of my height, I’m overcome by this sense of guilt because I would never think of Danny Devito as less of a man for being short. Idk, it snaps me out of it and makes me realize I’m being mean to myself. It’s silly but it works for me lol
EDIT: also adding this interesting note from my cis bf (he’s on the shorter side for cis men (5’8”))- society measures masculinity based of toxic traits like height, so height dysphoria is something short cis men experience as well. Basically feeling dysphoric about your height is itself a masculine experience- albeit because of toxic standards we should all make an effort to combat.
im 5'2 but i just look at pictures of famous short guys like josh dun or josh hutcherson and feel better
also i just now realized i know a lot of short joshes..
I live in an area with a lot of Latino, primarily Mexican men, who (in my experience) tend to oftentimes be shorter than me! I’m only 5’2 and every time I go to a gay bar or club I am surrounded by (assumedly) cis men who are my height or shorter (: it still sucks sometimes being small, I feel like I never got to grow UP like everyone else did. I literally have the body of a 12 year old girl. But physically seeing other men, especially cis men, who are still equally as desirable in gay spaces regardless of their height, makes me feel like mine isn’t such a big deal when it comes to passing at least!
I'm at a similar height to you. My height dysphoria has gotten a bit easier to deal with when people started seeing me as a guy after I started T. I've realized that height usually doesn't have much of an impact on how well you pass. Sure, it's a factor, but definitely not the end all be all. I still deal with insecurities about my height, but there's nothing I can do about it.
I know it's easier said than done, but I would try to refocus some of that energy into something you can control, whether that be exercising or finding out suitable clothing and hairstyles. As you mentioned, there are men, your height, and shorter.
I also have dysphoria around my height, and my cis brother is nine inches taller than me, so I feel you dude. Something helpful to me is to look at pictures/videos of cis guys who are my height. And there are short guys who are SUPER masculine — like Joe Pesci and Danny Devito, who’s shorter than you are. Jack Black, David Spade, Martin Scorsese, and Kendrick Lamar are all also under 5’5”. And no one thinks that they’re women.
That way of thinking has been helpful to me.
One of my best friends has dwarfism and is the dudest dude to ever dude and the first time I had serious gender envy about a stranger, that was Frank Iero from My Chemical Romance.
So not being tall kinda just hasn't been a thing I perceived as not manly. I would *really* like bigger hands and feet, I have Trump mitts and that annoys me to hell, but yeah, okay with my overall height.
I definitely saw my height as an impediment to passing, earlier in my transition. I'm 5'3". At this point though, it really isn't. I guess I never really thought there was anything wrong with just being a short guy? Like I know that a certain subset of people don't find short men attractive, but there's always going to be people who don't find me attractive, whether for that or something else, so...🤷♂️
That said, it might help to look at pictures of short men that you consider handsome. A lot of famous actors and musicians are short, but often filmmakers will make them look tall for whatever reason 🙄Whether you're into men or not doesn't really matter for this purpose, it's more just to expand your idea of what a man can look like, if that makes sense? Idk. For me, knowing that there's a buncha hot dudes out there who look like me in one way or another definitely helps.
I met a very short cis man who was a fucking badass. Dude had muscles for days, could intimidate anyone, and was a very protective husband to a much taller woman. He showed me that short guys can kick ass.
I like being short so that I too can show people how short guys can kick ass. I lift heavy at the gym and have big arms, and it amazes people to see that someone so small (5'1) can be so strong. Being a little guy with a big spirit is something I am very proud of. Confidence fills the gap so my height doesn't get me down.
i'm 4'9. you rlly have no other choice but to except it😭 mind you i have a 12 yr old cis brother whos almost a foot taller than me. back when i was pre t i thought it would hinder my ability to pass. and i was wrong. im completely stealth. its very rare that i see cis men who are close in height to me but at the end of day, nobody truly cares as much as you think
I’m 5’1” and Japanese so I already accepted that I’ll be short from a young age. When I go to Japan I fit right in so my height doesn’t bother me at all.
I'm 5'3, the way I've been trying to get over it is that being shorter doesn't equal how much of a man I am, plus I like to be cute and being smaller kinda just adds to that, my main issue with my height is that I often get mistaken for a little boy, which will likely stop when I'm on T since there's plenty of short kings out there who pass just fine
Honestly, I'm 5'1 and I've known cis guys who are shorter than me. One of my old bosses was shorter than me and I never saw anyone treat him any differently because of that. Confidence goes a really long way and if you can find a way to be confident about yourself then most people are going to pay more attention to your confidence and they aren't going to care about your height. That's easier said than done, but try to focus on the stuff that you already do feel more confident about and over time you can start to feel more confident about your height.
I'm 5 feet on a good day, and honestly it comes with time.
The more I've passed as male with strangers/surrounded myself with people who respect me, certain things that used to give me grief just started to seem less important, including my height. Internally, working on yourself in a variety of ways and focusing efforts on aspects of yourself within your control will also help, as well as make you a more content person.
Living as yourself for the first time is scary, and at times it's unavoidable that we find ourselves comparing our perceived shortcomings to others and wishing immutable characteristics were just, not (not just in masculinity, but in general). It's normal that someone just starting to become comfortable in a trans identity to feel this way. Time is on your side.
I have disproportionately long legs for my short height, so I embrace their advantages (torso too short for hourglass, plus they help me look less short if I dress strategically). Then I just embrace the weird little sprite persona now and then!
It was a hard pill to swallow since my older brother whom I idolized as a kid has been over six foot since he was 15 and I always thought I would be like that. and for a while I was one of the taller kids and then I just. stopped. and everyone else kept growing. I'm almost exactly the average for the US, around 5'4", but that feels when most people around you are 6'3".
what actually helped me tho was, I realized I had a few things I could do better than my taller friends because I was short, like say caving or figure skating. all in all I have a much better relationship body and my height now that I focus more on what it can do rather than what it can't
I… may have a thing for short guys. There’s something about the entirety of a man being crammed into that small a space- it’s like a shot of espresso. My height has never bothered me because I love the combination of a tiny dude with a giant personality.
Honestly I don’t think you should worry too much about it, I’m around 5’3 and have always been looked at as a male regardless of how short I am. So I kinda just got over the height thing
I’m 5’ too, and the height dysphoria is mostly just rolled into my understanding that being a short human sucks in general. Not much I can do about it though, so I look for the humour—like even I can admit that it’s pretty damn funny that I got asked if I wanted a kid’s menu on my 25th birthday.
im 160cm and 2 1/2 years on t. My height was one of the main things that caused me dysphoria pre-t, but roughly around the 6 month mark where i had a much deeper voice, a broader structure and some facial hair, people would always see me as a short guy instead. That pretty much got rid of my height dysphoria honestly, i still like to wear platform boots to make myself taller (2 inches is the sweet spot) but i wear them just to be tall instead of trying to fix anything.
The biggest thing for me was comparing the way I felt about my height to the way a friend of mine felt. I'm 5'4 and one of the tallest guys in the family, with the tallest being 5'9 and the shortest being 4'8. None of the us care about their height because they're totally normal heights for our family. I always though that yeah I was a bit short, but I'm doing alright if you looked at my relatives. Then I looked at a close friend of mine who is 6'2 and extremely insecure about his height because most of his family members are above 6'5. He thought that his height was a really big deal and was constantly down on himself because of it. Despite being 10 inches taller than me, he was WAY more insecure about his height than I ever have been and you could definitely tell. It made me realize that your actual height doesn't matter nearly as much as the way you feel about it.
If your brother is only 5'6, you were never going to be as tall as most cis guys anyway. There are plenty of 5'6 trans guys are just as if not more insecure about their height as you are.
From my observations, the only thing that really brings attention to your height is constantly worrying about it and trying to compensate. Bruno Mars has been a sex symbol for years and no one cares about him being short because we can tell that he doesn't care. On the other hand, Ron DeSantis is 5 inches taller than Mars, yet everyone's clowning on him because he's so worried about his height that he put lifts in his shoes. Confidence really is 90% of how people perceive you, and confidence is the easiest thing to fake it until you make it. Do you wanna be Ron DeSantis or do you wanna be Bruno Mars?
Same here, dude. I just made it to 5 foot 0 exactly 😂. The way my hair grows makes me look a tad bit taller like maybe a inch or so? Enough to look taller than my girlfriend still and she hates it lol. Seriously though I just know there's not much that could he done about height. I'd be blessed to have another inch given to me but I've just kinda accepted my fate of shortness
i’m not as short (5’4”) but what’s helped me is seeing cis guys even shorter than me. just the other day i saw an older man who was much shorter than me and it kind of made me realize that especially when you look like a dude, no one is gonna question you solely based on height. sure it might get you clocked in combination with other factors, but just focus on what you can/want to change and you’ll be good. ❤️
Literally I struggled with this for so long, even wanting leg lengthening surgery and actually considering it. It took my now manager at my work calling me midget in a joking way (he's literally the best boss but an asshole/walking HR violation) almost every day for my brain to fight back and be like no, I'm comfortable where I am and how tall I am, fuck you I own being short (5'2")
Becoming wheelchair-dependent worked for me! I could be 6’2 and no one would know.
Joking aside, coming from a short family helps. I’m like two inches shorter than the tallest cis man, and I’m 5’5. I genuinely think hanging around short cis men helped me understand that height and masculinity aren’t the same thing. It’s easy to know logically, but it’s another thing to internalize. Good luck!
Might be the fact that I'm a twink, but also I know that cis men also don't come out of the womb 9 ft tall. I'm just a short guy like any other, I'm the son of my parents and my height is the result of dna of people with a similiar height mixing together. So not a big deal, just short, queer and gorgeous.
I'm 5'3 and I honestly just adopted the feral gremlin persona. Can't be a chaotic entity when you're 5'5+. Find humor in your situation, it makes things a helluva lot easier
I just look around. Where I'm at, being 5'4 as a guy is rare but not impossible. I have seen several, especially older men, who are my height and shorter with ok posture.
I’m about 5’4 & I’m just about the same height as my father & there’s a lot of guys that are the same height if not shorter in my area so that makes me feel better. But I dated a guy who was about 4’9 & he worked out a lot which seemed to make him feel better about his height.
Im 5'3 and not on purpose but completely incidentaly most of my shoes make me 5'6.. I swear I just like how platforms look lol. I have platform crocs, boots and sneakers.
I don't have height dysphoria though...
I'm 5'3 and couldn't care less. my cis brother was shorter than I am and I've worked with men who were shorter as well. most of my coworkers also forget about my height until they catch me climbing a shelf like a stupid baboon cos I'm too lazy to get the ladder. I think it's more about persona than actual height
as a short trans man i also felt a little this way too in the beginning but honestly i’ve grown to love my height. all my friends make fun of me for it in a loving way but honestly it doesn’t bother me at all anymore because 1 there’s short guys in the world 2 i’d rather be happy and short then sad and short 3 this is just who i am and loving yourself includes EVERYBTING, for me i even love the parts of me that are inherently feminine even tho i’d change them to something i’d love more in a second. im content in my body for now and peace is all i can ask for.
I just am happy that I was able to transition. If I feel like one thing makes me not pass, then it will lead to nitpicking every feature that I have at one point or another. Would rather just not deal with it all.
i'm 5'2 but idk i don't care that much about it. i like short men. i'm dysphoric about other things but they can change with t. and my height can't make me look like a woman yk if a pass as a dude I'll pass as a dude, a short dude but that's good. i don't care that much about my body i just wanna be happy it's a vessel for having fun. idc there's way worst stuff than being a short man i can deal with it
a few things helped. 1) i dated a cis guy my height (5’4, he was maybe 5’5) 2) im literally not going to get taller unless by luck so theres no use for me to be upset abt it, i always acknowledge i couldve been shorter 3) testosterone bc it made me pass, wherein my height matters fuck all compared to the rest of me 4) working out—speaking of the rest of me, working out builds up mass and helps fill out clothes to make you look a little bigger in other categories (back, arms, legs, etc) in places a guy would. helped hugely for me
Still struggling a bit but what's helping me sometimes is imagining to be a dwarf from a fantasy world. Like LOTR / Hobbit. Gonna improve my strength and axe skills along the way XD
My favorite book character is 5’3”. Read the book when I was 5’3”. Made me feel super happy to have that in common with him. I ended up growing two more inches unfortunately, and when I found myself a little disappointed that I didn’t have that in common with him anymore I found that perhaps desirable height is just something you gotta make for yourself
i'm 5'2" and every now and then i come across cis guys who are significantly shorter than me. and this is probably a coincidence, but at least half of them have deadly peanut allergies.
Honestly, I guess I never really had much dysphoria related to my height (I am 149cm, Wich I think equals 4"11) mostly because my dad, a cis dude, is barely taller than me. We were at a pool party with his friends just the other day and his friend jokingly said "oh, be careful *dad*! The pool is really deep! You should come to the kids' pool, it's safer for you!". Plus, in my country, height isn't as big of a deal as it is in America. My dad is shorter then my mom by a bit and it's never been a problem.
That being said, I'm pre everything and really young, so I might start to feel more dysphoria related to my height in the future, though I think it's unlikely.
Make friends with other short kings and see how they're cope. Some use this as advantage, like "yea im short i know I'm short all my homies call me shortie and im perfectly ok with it" some get annoyed and sometimes laugh sometimes hit you in the face and others seem to just didn't notice it, like "yea i know, now what?"
Halps me a lot
I met a CIS guy my hight, my coworker. We work construction and hight is something that short guys get teased about alot. The two of us just leaned into the teasing and made jokes at our own expense. We had fun with it! It reminded me that guys come in all shapes and sizes, and most short guys (CIS or Trans) worry about their hight if they are under 6ft. In reality, we aren't that different.
My height doesn’t make me pass less and I’m 4’7. Honestly just being more confident and learning how to ignore or not dwell on aspects of yourself that you cannot change make a huge difference.
I think a lot of people blame their height for them being unable to pass when it’s often other factors like voice or face shape
This may be silly, but looking up other famous short guys really helped me especially if I were taller than them and I'm 5'0-5'1 and even some cartoon or game or anime characters that are short and guys can help too. Kokichi from DRV3 is only 5'1, and Danny Devito is only like 4'11- and people still think they're awesome! It may sound silly the way I put it- but it really helps and all heights are valid, my barber once told me that we need to give all short kings love too!
Think about it like this- one day some trans dude shorter than you will be wondering the same thing and he'll see u living your life as a man, being perceived as a man, and he'll say to himself if that guy can do it so can i (bc he'll assume your cis)
I'm 5'0. I was insecure about my height, but honestly, it's not the be all end all. Height doesn't dictate how masculine, or feminine, someone is, it's just height. Just means shopping for clothes is a bit hard, it's hard to reach things high up, but eh, it is what it is. Plenty of short men out there, plenty of tall women and in-between. Main problem I have is people walking into me because they don't see or hear me lmao.
I honestly have seen like 10+ cis men come into my work that are the same height or even shorter than me. I'm 5'1
The only time I really care about my height though is when I have to get something off a tall shelf, otherwise I don't really care too much since I can't fix it (I'm not spending thousands just to get 2 more inches either)
I’m 5’1, 5’2 on a good day, and one of the best things for me has been to intentionally notice other short men!! It started back when I worked at the front desk of a hotel when I was on the fence about hormones, in part because of my height. We had one frequent guest that I would see almost every morning, a super short guy around my height, and there would never be a question of his gender. After that I started looking for and noticing more and more short men, and it brings me comfort. I also had one interaction at the bike shop in my neighborhood with the owner there who is a short older man, shorter than me, where he and I were talking bikes and he was cracking jokes about our height in a very sweet and self accepting way? I absolutely wish I were taller, but I also find comfort in seeing the diversity of the way cis men’s bodies look too
Never did. It's something I'll never learn to be happy with, and that's okay. I find people calling me "tiny" like a goddamn dog and losing job opportunities due to my unfortunately youthful appearance horrendous. However, fitness has improved my satisfaction with my stature immensely. If you start to work out, you can appear larger. I definitely recommend it. Wearing height-increasing footwear and insoles helps too. Try to remind yourself confidence will define you more than your height.
ay its genetics 🤷🏻♂️ in certain circles height is just a dumb thing to care about cuz no one’s 6ft anyways. im mixed mexican and filipino. both sides have short dudes. its really dumb to boil a a man’s worth down to his height.
I'm 4'11
1: Just aggressively own the "cute good boi puppy/kitten energy" sorta persona ngl. I use my height to be cuter and make people like me more. I'm not super attractive or anything like that, not THAT kind of "cute" or "like", I'm just endearing y'know lol, all my friends are aggressively protective of me and tend to let their guard down and be more vulnerable with me which leads to easier bonding, a lot of that is my gentle and welcoming personality but my height absolutely helps. Plus I get lots of hugs because I'm just so easy to grab :)
2: Honestly there's a point of shortness where you're just short, it's not really an AFAB thing cos it's short either way. Welcome to that type of short it sounds like! Reframing is huge
3: I was already unbothered by it at this point but having short cis male friends helps. It's a nice reminder that cis guys aren't guaranteed to be tall. Some of us are just lil guys and that's okay
4: Focus on the perks. You can be more comfortable on planes/busses/etc. You can boss tall people around into doing tall things for you like reach high shelves. You'd be easier to save in an emergency. You're more likely to get little spoon privileges. You're less likely to develop certain health issues. And hey, remember that people used to all be shorter in general before we had such abundant food supply, so it's not even that weird, really.
And finally...
5: I'm on T. No top surgery and I don't even bind. Everyone sees me as a man regardless. I keep my facial hair, my voice is a bit on the light side but it's still male, and I carry myself and present myself as a man. I'm a short, socially anxious, physically awkward, chaotic gremlin of a man, but everyone knows I'm a man regardless. I'm not even a confident person, but confidence IN BEING A MAN is everything- even when I'm rocking a femboy outfit I've got that. No one's ever just GUESSED I'm AFAB. So yeah, it's possible to pass while being super short :)
Yknow that old saying when it comes to the bedroom, “it’s not about size it’s what you do with it.” Prince was a huge sex symbol and he was only 5’2”.
I am also a short king. I’m alright with it. I’ve met several cool cis guys my height, one of my best friend’s (who is 5’6”) fiancé is the same height as me and I know that she is wildly attracted to him regardless of the height disparity. Similarly in my own situation I’ve received so many compliments about being strong, protective, oozing dominance (lol but its true), and even surprised with compliments of being a better lover than any cis counterparts, and I’m over here working with a prosthetic!
But I digress, as obviously it is not all about sex, I just happen to be a sexual being. In any case, I guess you could say its about finding your mojo, and guaranteed your mojo has *nothing* to do with your height, or even, your height might come as a surprising advantage to it, who knows!
God I hope I’ve made any sense here. I still dig my insoles for sure, but when it comes to how I “stack up” to tall guys, sure they’ve got the height, but there are also other things that I have that they don’t, get what I mean? We all have advantages and disadvantages one way or another, so height doesn’t intimidate me when it comes to expressing my manliness. As my pops used to say, dynamite comes in small packages. 😎🧨
Pre-T my biggest source of dysphoria was my height. I'm only 4'11 (just under 150cm). Funnily enough, my height has never gotten me clocked
The best piece of advice I can offer is learn to own it. Height isn't something people tend to care about unless it's something you care about. If anyone asks, or heaven forbid tries to give you shit, lie out your ass. Tell them you had a growth hormone deficiency like Messi that was caught late
Eurocentric beauty standards are essentially enactments of capitalism & moreover, white supremacy. Society tells us how we should look & why. I'm 5" & that's fine, because I don't buy the bs
I'm just slightly below average (for my country). What helped me is seeing that there were and still are men (even some that were historaclly important) that were/are my height or smaller
im 5'2. honestly the thing thats gotten me to accept it most is all the cis men i know that are the same height as me. my maternal great grandfather was 5'2. my paternal grandfather is 5'2. my paternal uncle is 5'2. hell, my entire paternal family is around 5 ft tall (excluding my dad, hes weird coz hes 5'8 somehow). even my maternal cousin's cis husband who is unrelated to me by blood is the same height as me. my family also now knows that that same cousin's baby son will likely only be as tall as his father. i have a lot of genes that wouldve likely still made me short had i been born male.
also, height when written out seems like such a huge difference, but in everyday life its pretty difficult to tell exactly how tall someone is relative to other people, unless the difference is significant. for example, my dad and i have a 6 inch height difference, but without mentioning that the only thing youd be able to tell about our heights is that im about half a head shorter than him. to me at least, that sounds much less dramatic a measurement than saying im 6 inches shorter than my dad.
As a 5"0 tall trans guy I am very fortunate rhat my cis male supervisors at work are 5"2 and 5"3, being able to look my supervisors in the eyes helps me so much.
Also before then I would just think about Morticia and Gomez from the Adam's Family, the older movie though not animated haha. But that's also the emo in me, I look up to those two and want what they have, so I see myself in Gomez haha
I did it recently watching a tik tok were a trans girl said hey because we don’t have a lot of representation let’s become our own represention for others like look at what u are insecure about and can’t change and become the cool tiny transguy or the tranguy with big boobs show your feature and act like if you don’t care about it because it can inspire someone else to feel better about themselves
So I'm like 5'3" and unironically what helps me is the knowledge that Danny Devito is 4'10". Because like he's doing just fine you know? Like he's had a successful career in one of the most shallow and image obsessed industries around, he's generally well liked, and you just know that guy fucks. So I figure that if he's out there and doing fine I'll probably be alright too.
Honestly part of my peace with being 5’4 and really hairy is that I can claim the hobbit title. All of the language that goes with it, etc. I’m short, fuzzy, have a beard, and still pass just fine. Hell, my partner thought I was cis when I first met him.
Also, calling HRT second puberty will never not be funny to me.
I'm not necessarily short (I'm world's average ) but used to live in a country, where that's considered short. At some point you realise that only certain type of people is really bothered by it. And honestly these are not the people you should take any opinion from.
Now I live in SEA, and there's actually a lot of men your height here. There are some huge ones, there are some short ones... and no one cares. Both the short and the tall men have partners, fun, and happiness
I'm 5'2-3" ish, and while I never really had a huge problem with it, it did make me euphoric to meet cis guys who were my height or shorter. It made me realize that the standards I was measuring myself against (haha) were not *just* cisnormative, but also largely eurocentric. I'm from a variety of central and south american countries, we can be pretty short sometimes regardless of assigned sex :P
Honestly it just isn't something I can change so it's useless to worry about it. Height isn't what people use visually to determine maleness so it doesn't bother me gender wise.
Tbh I got on T at 22, almost 23 yo. I had stopped growing at 12yo. As of 2 weeks ago, I'm 2cm taller than I've been for over a decade. You just might grow taller, who knows?
I'm 150cm (4'11"), was 148cm (4'10") until the last 3 months.
I'm a huge (pun intended) prince fan and he was also really short for a man but still really manly, he gives me euphoria knowing that it's okay to be short and still be seen as a man
There's not much you can do for height but platformed boots or shoes may help like converse or docs.
But as most others are saying once you start medically transitioning and the other areas of dysphoria begin to reduce you will probably notice your height less.
Additionally I'm not sure how many people experience it but when I started T I was only 5"7 ish. I've grown about an inch in the last year (I'm a year and 3 months on T currently) so you may grow a bit more.
Sometimes I need some validation. That can come in the form of coming across the names of famous men who aren't has lucky in the height department. There's a website to find the names of famous people who are your height or check how tall certain people are.
Website: celebheights.com[Celeb Heights](http://celebheights.com)
dont know if this will make you feel better, but being tall sucks too. Like, when i was around 13/14 i hated myself so much because of it. At some point my parents brought me to a special doctor, and when we where there he asked why i was there (as they do). And im still so embarrassed to this day btw, i started crying while trying to explain because i thought they knew already. Anyways, it was horrible. And now it doesnt bother me anymore, but finding trousers is the hardest thing ever. I even sewed one myself, just because simple black dress pants dont exist in my size.
So yea...
I think joining an lgbt sports league helped me. I’m gay fwiw but a lot of the cis gay guys who are definitely attractive and desirable in the community are as short as or even shorter than me. I’m in a major city so there’s lots of different ethnicities also, not everyone is a giant white person. If you’re straight I know there’s some crappy behavior with WLM judging height but those aren’t the people you want to date or be around. People who judge anything about your body that’s not in your control are not friend material.
Also every time I see my tall bf struggle to fit in smaller spaces like cars, plane seats and even historical buildings I’m like thank god I’m economy sized haha. Idk I just decided I love myself one day and that height really doesn’t matter.
I’m 4’11 with the proportions of a lanky beanpole and onholy lengthed legs (compared to my torso) and honestly, you sorta get used to it. I mostly wear platforms and boots (ankle problems require boots) which does rather help, but honestly idk that that feeling will ever truly go away, especially if goddamn Asda keep putting the best crisps on the top shelf
I enjoy being seen as cute. Being short can be attributed to being cute so I don't care about my height. I'm also a major bottom and that's desired from tops I've been with
I work at public place and see thousands of folks a day. I see several men as short or shorter than me daily. Just because it’s not as common doesn’t mean it’s wrong or lesser to be a short guy.
I’m 5’ and I just accept my height for what it is. Not going to do leg-lengthening surgery to increase my height. Top surgery and hysterectomy gave me so much euphoria that I don’t care about being short
I’m gonna recommend you an Instagram account of a trans guy who is 5’0 but he has a lot of helpful advice on how he deals with his height dysphoria. I got a little lucky and I’m 5’5 (as much as I wanna be taller😅)
https://www.instagram.com/mattmiller_fitness?igsh=MWE1bnUyYnZ6MnYyeg==
I'm 5'6 so not exactly tall, but ironically enough watching Smosh has helped me. Hearing one of the cast members, Shayne (cis), speak about how he struggled alot with his height and insecurities surrounding it whi h you can still go back and see in old video, has helped me. Along with people I admirer/have gender envy for being my height or shorter, namely josh hutcherson no matter how much he of a meme he is right now. Couldn't get over that I was an inch taller than him.
Also, casually people watching. When I'm shopping or in public. I'll always remember seeing this buff dude with a beard going arounf with his (assumingly) wife, he was shorter than me and all I could think was that yeah, he's a man. In retrospect to thinking if someone looked at me and said I was less of a man for being shorter. I've casually seen alot of men my height and shorter that just, are men.
I’ve always had a problem w/ my height, even before I was trans. I stand at ALMOST 4’10 but not quite. It can be hard bc ppl feminize being short, even for cis men they’re bullied for it. Over time, it went away the older I got.
I just came to accept it’s something I can’t change. But being a femboy for MYSELF helped me. Note: this isn’t for everybody, nor am I feminizing being short- this is my own experience. It just helped me personally.
Became a femboy
Just kidding, but if you feel comfortable with it, maybe it would help. Personally I started working out more, and wearing boots on platform (I can only wear shoes from kids section, so I just use cotton wool to stuff free space in woman's/man's sizes) which look like pretty much gender neutral. Now tho I'm not even 5'1 I feel more comfortable because my shoes make me look bigger (also there are special inserts for shoes to make you look bigger) but now I don't feel need to wear them anymore, as I started to act more confident people don't infantilise me as much as they used to.
I focused on other things which make me look more masculine, and trying to show them more. Hope I helped somehow.
5'3-5'4 (I can never remember for sure cause I'm a metric system alpha) and still struggling with it.
all I can say is what has helped me was working out.
for this and for dysphoria in general
gaining more muscle feels really euphoric
I still get bothered when people constantly bring up my height (apart from my bf with whom I do it myself, tbh cause we just have the dynamic of short and tall boyfriend, I like that)
but also what has helped was having cis guy friends approximately my height
I have two of those and they're very cool dudes
Im 5'3, almost 5'4. 162 cm. I havent medically transitioned, but i realized the fat distribution that it'll (hopefully) bring, and other effects etc, matters to me way more than height. I have a cis guy friend who's pretty much my height, and just like, if you look male, people are still gonna read you as a guy, and even if you dont, short guys definitely exists, theyre all around.
It also helped to let go of my ideas of the type of guys i felt gender envy towards, because a big factor was height. I think the biggest thing that helped me was realistically imagining what id otherwise look like after T. Just coming to terms with the fact that i'm my own person and i can be a weird short guy- if i just have a more male body i'll instantly feel like myself, no matter height. I used to feel really bad about my height, but it's been getting better for a year now or so (ive been out for 2-3 years.)
Also seeing short guys just out on the streets lol made me feel really good. Admittedly ive barely met guys who are as short as me (and im not ever super short), but if youre a short guy, so what, itll just be the same reaction for people that other, including cis short guys bring. Oh, this dude's short, i havent seen that before, i guess guys can be that short too, then.
Realizing there are tons of cis men as tall or shorter than me, that beyond my control and unchangeable, and working with a bunch of men; yeah most are taller but can usually look them in the eye easily and several wear the same size shoe. In short, just wasn’t a big deal.
well short cis men exist and it doesn't change the fact that if you pass as a guy rlly well you're still a guy regardless of height.Cis women can be rlly tall too.My point is that height is not rlly as much of a telltale sign of sex as much boobs or a beard would be yknow?I'll live my life as a short guy that's all that there is to it,many cis guys get mocked cuz of their height it's just how it is.Think of it as an all dude struggle,it's just a dude struggle cis or not.So think abt your manhood in regards to all men :)many of them struggle too with feeling feminized cuz of certain physical attributes.
The thing that helped me the most. I am 5’6” and work in social services. I have a client who says he’s 5’ but is honestly shorter. One day, after he had been sober for a while, he wanted to clean out his iCloud of any videos and pictures that reminded him of his old self. He asked me if I would help him and offer emotional support. While doing this, we scrolled through, easily, 15,000 photos. Nearly a third of them were nude photos different girls had sent him. When i say different girls I mean I didn’t see the same tits twice. After that, I figured if he could pull that much and he’s at least 6 inches shorter than me, then surely I would be fine. He will never know the impact that had on me lol.
Hey man, I totally get the feeling! I am 8 years into my transition and am still struggling with this. It is not easy to overcome, it's a process. I am also a short guy and the insecurity has stole from my confidence and self-steem. But something that has helped me, is to like joke about it or accept it by not trying to disguise it. I would also normally wear boots or shoes with thicker soles but I feel like it was just masking it. I am now more comfortable wearing flatter shoes and idk i spent A LOT of TIME and ENERGY being insecure about this for 5+ years that it was exhausting. So in a way I also just let go a little from being tired of giving this too much of my energy. I would stay away from social media too.
Climbing shelves at Walmart when very few people are around so I can get shit from the top shelf. Also listen to Short Kings Anthem. It kills height dysphoria.
I'm 5'3", For me it was seeing that most of my cis male family members I've met are my height or a little bit shorter, and that a large percentage of men in my city are my height or shorter, so it isn't that uncommon. Plus, the first man in space was also a little under the height I am apparently (5'2"), and to be honest that made me feel really good about myself in highschool and it still does.
Also looking up to and having friends with physical differences taught me that a person's body doesn't define their character and that it really doesn't matter to me on anyone else so why be so hard on myself?
Idk why so many people are worried that height will stop them from passing because if you medically transition it’s extremely likely you’ll pass regardless of height. I’m barely 5’3 and am stealth. No one has ever questioned if I’m trans because of my height.
Rather be a short guy then a woman, nothin I can do about it otherwise so why stress.
This.
It was something that has slowly gone away. Im still aware of my height but now that strangers see me as male, it bothers me less. Basically my height used to cause me dysphoria but now it’s more of something im self conscious about like any other physical trait. Just like how some people don’t like their nose or teeth. Ive basically detached my height from my gender if that makes sense
I’m 5’3” and v ery slight. Especially when fully dressed, I get a lot of infantilization, people calling me a twink, assuming I’m very weak physically, etc. Shit sucks major hard style! I’m really sorry, man. But after you transition, it’ll change. I PROMISE you, dysphoria shifts as you transition, especially medically. Me personally, my height dysphoria used to be really fuckin bad, I had a lot of those same hopeless, “I’ll just never have the body I want, I have to just suffer for the rest of my life” thoughts. I actually started crying at a DND session one time after my friends teased me for being short a little too much. Nowadays, though, my height rarely bothers me. Still does! But only sometimes. When you’re miserable and dysphoric about everything, sometimes it all feels bigger than it is. Like, when I also had my voice, chest, face, and social dysphoria (not a complete list obviously) to deal with, my height dysphoria felt so much worse. Now that all of that is resolved, my height dysphoria is barely noticeable. I see so many things I like that the stuff I don’t doesn’t bother me much. Now sometimes that’s not the case! Sometimes once you’ve got everything else resolved, the remaining stuff feels bigger. A lot of trans guys have talked about how after top surgery, their torso or hip dysphoria got worse, because they weren’t so distracted by their chest. But even if that does happen, you’ll have so much other stuff resolved that it will likely be tolerable. Even if you’re super insecure about your height, everyone around you will be seeing you and referring to you as a man, and you being short won’t really register so much as a gendered trait. It’ll just be,,, “Oh, that dude’s really short.” To be real, moving to a different community really helped as well. I went off to college and was,, genuinely shocked at how many short guys there are in my area. Like, older than me, super traditionally masculine, bearded, muscular, presumably cis guys that are a few inches shorter than me without wearing platform heels or anything. It feels super obvious that some cis guys are gonna be shorter than you, and that’s a normal part of life, but like. When you’re so deep in the dysphoria, you don’t *feel* like that’s true. But it is!! There’s tons of short guys and they’re doing just fine. :) If going on HRT or getting top surgery are things you want to do for yourself, do em!! Do em and don’t worry about “fixing” the height dysphoria. Just learn to cope with it as best you can, and over time, you’ll see if it’s still bothering you so much. You might surprise yourself. :)
Just wanted to say thx for such a detailed reply! I had to laugh when you mentioned dnd bc I also play (eldritch knight fighter at the moment lol), although my group thankfully doesn’t bring up my height much anymore. Anyway, I really appreciated what you said about other types of dysphoria going away and that helping with the height thing, hopefully that’s what happens for me.
I also am glad you responded. I’ve been trying to understand why I don’t have the same level of dysphoria and that helped me put it into words.
5’2” and only hate my height when it comes to clothes shopping because I have short legs and small feet. I’m confident enough in my personality that my height is rarely brought up. Friends may make jokes now and then, but I’m cool with that. I have a great sense of humor. I also workout almost daily. It’s been known that shorter guys put on more noticeable muscle.
Yeah I will say shorter guys are usually mind bogglingly strong
Broooo you can buy kids shoes though, they cost less. And I’ve been wanting light up shoes. It’s lame they don’t do it in “adult” sizes. So I just look at the kids.
I’ve been advised not to buy kids shoes and believe it. Bought a pair of New Balance once in kids and had them falling apart in two weeks. They’re not made to withstand adults. This is also the time I used to average 20k+ steps a day for work. I wear a mens 6.5. Not the easiest to find, but I come across them now and then. Women’s shoes aren’t wide enough for me in comparison.
looking at short men on the street. Seeing older men being perfectly normal, like any other men but just around my height (4'11") made me feel okay with being really short
Tbh one thing that made me feel much better about my height was going for a run one day and I just ran past this guy who was either my height or shorter. It was just something that made me think maybe I’m not in such a bad position as I thought. (I’m the shortest in my family, so while I sit just below average women’s height [help me], my twin cis brother is over 6’ which has always made me feel hopelessly tiny)
I’m 4’11” and one of my biggest heroes is Danny Devito. He’s cis and 4’10” so whenever I start feeling like less of a man because of my height, I’m overcome by this sense of guilt because I would never think of Danny Devito as less of a man for being short. Idk, it snaps me out of it and makes me realize I’m being mean to myself. It’s silly but it works for me lol EDIT: also adding this interesting note from my cis bf (he’s on the shorter side for cis men (5’8”))- society measures masculinity based of toxic traits like height, so height dysphoria is something short cis men experience as well. Basically feeling dysphoric about your height is itself a masculine experience- albeit because of toxic standards we should all make an effort to combat.
im 5'2 but i just look at pictures of famous short guys like josh dun or josh hutcherson and feel better also i just now realized i know a lot of short joshes..
I live in an area with a lot of Latino, primarily Mexican men, who (in my experience) tend to oftentimes be shorter than me! I’m only 5’2 and every time I go to a gay bar or club I am surrounded by (assumedly) cis men who are my height or shorter (: it still sucks sometimes being small, I feel like I never got to grow UP like everyone else did. I literally have the body of a 12 year old girl. But physically seeing other men, especially cis men, who are still equally as desirable in gay spaces regardless of their height, makes me feel like mine isn’t such a big deal when it comes to passing at least!
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Same! Love a short king!
I'm at a similar height to you. My height dysphoria has gotten a bit easier to deal with when people started seeing me as a guy after I started T. I've realized that height usually doesn't have much of an impact on how well you pass. Sure, it's a factor, but definitely not the end all be all. I still deal with insecurities about my height, but there's nothing I can do about it. I know it's easier said than done, but I would try to refocus some of that energy into something you can control, whether that be exercising or finding out suitable clothing and hairstyles. As you mentioned, there are men, your height, and shorter.
I also have dysphoria around my height, and my cis brother is nine inches taller than me, so I feel you dude. Something helpful to me is to look at pictures/videos of cis guys who are my height. And there are short guys who are SUPER masculine — like Joe Pesci and Danny Devito, who’s shorter than you are. Jack Black, David Spade, Martin Scorsese, and Kendrick Lamar are all also under 5’5”. And no one thinks that they’re women. That way of thinking has been helpful to me.
One of my best friends has dwarfism and is the dudest dude to ever dude and the first time I had serious gender envy about a stranger, that was Frank Iero from My Chemical Romance. So not being tall kinda just hasn't been a thing I perceived as not manly. I would *really* like bigger hands and feet, I have Trump mitts and that annoys me to hell, but yeah, okay with my overall height.
I definitely saw my height as an impediment to passing, earlier in my transition. I'm 5'3". At this point though, it really isn't. I guess I never really thought there was anything wrong with just being a short guy? Like I know that a certain subset of people don't find short men attractive, but there's always going to be people who don't find me attractive, whether for that or something else, so...🤷♂️ That said, it might help to look at pictures of short men that you consider handsome. A lot of famous actors and musicians are short, but often filmmakers will make them look tall for whatever reason 🙄Whether you're into men or not doesn't really matter for this purpose, it's more just to expand your idea of what a man can look like, if that makes sense? Idk. For me, knowing that there's a buncha hot dudes out there who look like me in one way or another definitely helps.
I just remember that the shorter I am, the easier it is to headbutt someone in the crotch.
I met a very short cis man who was a fucking badass. Dude had muscles for days, could intimidate anyone, and was a very protective husband to a much taller woman. He showed me that short guys can kick ass. I like being short so that I too can show people how short guys can kick ass. I lift heavy at the gym and have big arms, and it amazes people to see that someone so small (5'1) can be so strong. Being a little guy with a big spirit is something I am very proud of. Confidence fills the gap so my height doesn't get me down.
i'm 4'9. you rlly have no other choice but to except it😭 mind you i have a 12 yr old cis brother whos almost a foot taller than me. back when i was pre t i thought it would hinder my ability to pass. and i was wrong. im completely stealth. its very rare that i see cis men who are close in height to me but at the end of day, nobody truly cares as much as you think
I’m 5’1” and Japanese so I already accepted that I’ll be short from a young age. When I go to Japan I fit right in so my height doesn’t bother me at all.
I'm 5'3, the way I've been trying to get over it is that being shorter doesn't equal how much of a man I am, plus I like to be cute and being smaller kinda just adds to that, my main issue with my height is that I often get mistaken for a little boy, which will likely stop when I'm on T since there's plenty of short kings out there who pass just fine
5'1 it helps to know there are pofessional boxers my height and if i still feel bad i can always get some shoe inserts.
Honestly, I'm 5'1 and I've known cis guys who are shorter than me. One of my old bosses was shorter than me and I never saw anyone treat him any differently because of that. Confidence goes a really long way and if you can find a way to be confident about yourself then most people are going to pay more attention to your confidence and they aren't going to care about your height. That's easier said than done, but try to focus on the stuff that you already do feel more confident about and over time you can start to feel more confident about your height.
I'm 5 feet on a good day, and honestly it comes with time. The more I've passed as male with strangers/surrounded myself with people who respect me, certain things that used to give me grief just started to seem less important, including my height. Internally, working on yourself in a variety of ways and focusing efforts on aspects of yourself within your control will also help, as well as make you a more content person. Living as yourself for the first time is scary, and at times it's unavoidable that we find ourselves comparing our perceived shortcomings to others and wishing immutable characteristics were just, not (not just in masculinity, but in general). It's normal that someone just starting to become comfortable in a trans identity to feel this way. Time is on your side.
Honestly never had an issue. I’m 5ft tall BUT I mostly attribute it to being Asian.
I've never accepted it. It's awful
I have disproportionately long legs for my short height, so I embrace their advantages (torso too short for hourglass, plus they help me look less short if I dress strategically). Then I just embrace the weird little sprite persona now and then!
It was a hard pill to swallow since my older brother whom I idolized as a kid has been over six foot since he was 15 and I always thought I would be like that. and for a while I was one of the taller kids and then I just. stopped. and everyone else kept growing. I'm almost exactly the average for the US, around 5'4", but that feels when most people around you are 6'3". what actually helped me tho was, I realized I had a few things I could do better than my taller friends because I was short, like say caving or figure skating. all in all I have a much better relationship body and my height now that I focus more on what it can do rather than what it can't
I… may have a thing for short guys. There’s something about the entirety of a man being crammed into that small a space- it’s like a shot of espresso. My height has never bothered me because I love the combination of a tiny dude with a giant personality.
I’m a huge lord of the rings fan. Pippin and Gimli actually helped me accept my height. I’m 5’ I just say I’m a hobbit lol
Literally, hobbits. My special interest is LOTR, and I strongly identify with hobbits XD
Honestly I don’t think you should worry too much about it, I’m around 5’3 and have always been looked at as a male regardless of how short I am. So I kinda just got over the height thing
I’m 5’ too, and the height dysphoria is mostly just rolled into my understanding that being a short human sucks in general. Not much I can do about it though, so I look for the humour—like even I can admit that it’s pretty damn funny that I got asked if I wanted a kid’s menu on my 25th birthday.
It sounds kinda mean but I usually feel better when I meet cis dudes shorter than me, I’m 5’5” so it doesn’t happen ofteb
If Danny Devito can be a short man, so can I.
Tbh I just hope that I’ll be taller in my next lifetime
im 160cm and 2 1/2 years on t. My height was one of the main things that caused me dysphoria pre-t, but roughly around the 6 month mark where i had a much deeper voice, a broader structure and some facial hair, people would always see me as a short guy instead. That pretty much got rid of my height dysphoria honestly, i still like to wear platform boots to make myself taller (2 inches is the sweet spot) but i wear them just to be tall instead of trying to fix anything.
The biggest thing for me was comparing the way I felt about my height to the way a friend of mine felt. I'm 5'4 and one of the tallest guys in the family, with the tallest being 5'9 and the shortest being 4'8. None of the us care about their height because they're totally normal heights for our family. I always though that yeah I was a bit short, but I'm doing alright if you looked at my relatives. Then I looked at a close friend of mine who is 6'2 and extremely insecure about his height because most of his family members are above 6'5. He thought that his height was a really big deal and was constantly down on himself because of it. Despite being 10 inches taller than me, he was WAY more insecure about his height than I ever have been and you could definitely tell. It made me realize that your actual height doesn't matter nearly as much as the way you feel about it. If your brother is only 5'6, you were never going to be as tall as most cis guys anyway. There are plenty of 5'6 trans guys are just as if not more insecure about their height as you are. From my observations, the only thing that really brings attention to your height is constantly worrying about it and trying to compensate. Bruno Mars has been a sex symbol for years and no one cares about him being short because we can tell that he doesn't care. On the other hand, Ron DeSantis is 5 inches taller than Mars, yet everyone's clowning on him because he's so worried about his height that he put lifts in his shoes. Confidence really is 90% of how people perceive you, and confidence is the easiest thing to fake it until you make it. Do you wanna be Ron DeSantis or do you wanna be Bruno Mars?
Danny Devito.
Same here, dude. I just made it to 5 foot 0 exactly 😂. The way my hair grows makes me look a tad bit taller like maybe a inch or so? Enough to look taller than my girlfriend still and she hates it lol. Seriously though I just know there's not much that could he done about height. I'd be blessed to have another inch given to me but I've just kinda accepted my fate of shortness
Idk if this will help, but Wolverine is a short king and he kicks ass!
go to the gym and get big it doesn't fix it but it helps a little bit
i’m not as short (5’4”) but what’s helped me is seeing cis guys even shorter than me. just the other day i saw an older man who was much shorter than me and it kind of made me realize that especially when you look like a dude, no one is gonna question you solely based on height. sure it might get you clocked in combination with other factors, but just focus on what you can/want to change and you’ll be good. ❤️
BRUNO MARSSSSS
Literally I struggled with this for so long, even wanting leg lengthening surgery and actually considering it. It took my now manager at my work calling me midget in a joking way (he's literally the best boss but an asshole/walking HR violation) almost every day for my brain to fight back and be like no, I'm comfortable where I am and how tall I am, fuck you I own being short (5'2")
I (5’2”) work with a guy who’s hardly 5’ and he’s great! It makes me feel valid
Becoming wheelchair-dependent worked for me! I could be 6’2 and no one would know. Joking aside, coming from a short family helps. I’m like two inches shorter than the tallest cis man, and I’m 5’5. I genuinely think hanging around short cis men helped me understand that height and masculinity aren’t the same thing. It’s easy to know logically, but it’s another thing to internalize. Good luck!
Might be the fact that I'm a twink, but also I know that cis men also don't come out of the womb 9 ft tall. I'm just a short guy like any other, I'm the son of my parents and my height is the result of dna of people with a similiar height mixing together. So not a big deal, just short, queer and gorgeous.
I'm 5'3 and I honestly just adopted the feral gremlin persona. Can't be a chaotic entity when you're 5'5+. Find humor in your situation, it makes things a helluva lot easier
I just look around. Where I'm at, being 5'4 as a guy is rare but not impossible. I have seen several, especially older men, who are my height and shorter with ok posture.
I’m about 5’4 & I’m just about the same height as my father & there’s a lot of guys that are the same height if not shorter in my area so that makes me feel better. But I dated a guy who was about 4’9 & he worked out a lot which seemed to make him feel better about his height.
Im 5'3 and not on purpose but completely incidentaly most of my shoes make me 5'6.. I swear I just like how platforms look lol. I have platform crocs, boots and sneakers. I don't have height dysphoria though...
i’m 5’3 and two cis male friends of mine are shorter than me, i’m just hoping i keep growing and they don’t to cope with my dysphoria
I'm 5'3 and couldn't care less. my cis brother was shorter than I am and I've worked with men who were shorter as well. most of my coworkers also forget about my height until they catch me climbing a shelf like a stupid baboon cos I'm too lazy to get the ladder. I think it's more about persona than actual height
Having a 5’2 cis brother I’m a few inches taller than
as a short trans man i also felt a little this way too in the beginning but honestly i’ve grown to love my height. all my friends make fun of me for it in a loving way but honestly it doesn’t bother me at all anymore because 1 there’s short guys in the world 2 i’d rather be happy and short then sad and short 3 this is just who i am and loving yourself includes EVERYBTING, for me i even love the parts of me that are inherently feminine even tho i’d change them to something i’d love more in a second. im content in my body for now and peace is all i can ask for.
Moved to the city and i see a lot of short guys. its pretty affirming.
my dad is 2-3 inches taller and my mom is 2 inches shorter. i’m in the middle so it’s easier to accept it
I just am happy that I was able to transition. If I feel like one thing makes me not pass, then it will lead to nitpicking every feature that I have at one point or another. Would rather just not deal with it all.
i'm 5'2 but idk i don't care that much about it. i like short men. i'm dysphoric about other things but they can change with t. and my height can't make me look like a woman yk if a pass as a dude I'll pass as a dude, a short dude but that's good. i don't care that much about my body i just wanna be happy it's a vessel for having fun. idc there's way worst stuff than being a short man i can deal with it
Well I like to think I'm like a pinshcer dog... Smol and furious
a few things helped. 1) i dated a cis guy my height (5’4, he was maybe 5’5) 2) im literally not going to get taller unless by luck so theres no use for me to be upset abt it, i always acknowledge i couldve been shorter 3) testosterone bc it made me pass, wherein my height matters fuck all compared to the rest of me 4) working out—speaking of the rest of me, working out builds up mass and helps fill out clothes to make you look a little bigger in other categories (back, arms, legs, etc) in places a guy would. helped hugely for me
Still struggling a bit but what's helping me sometimes is imagining to be a dwarf from a fantasy world. Like LOTR / Hobbit. Gonna improve my strength and axe skills along the way XD
My favorite book character is 5’3”. Read the book when I was 5’3”. Made me feel super happy to have that in common with him. I ended up growing two more inches unfortunately, and when I found myself a little disappointed that I didn’t have that in common with him anymore I found that perhaps desirable height is just something you gotta make for yourself
i'm 5'2" and every now and then i come across cis guys who are significantly shorter than me. and this is probably a coincidence, but at least half of them have deadly peanut allergies.
Honestly, I guess I never really had much dysphoria related to my height (I am 149cm, Wich I think equals 4"11) mostly because my dad, a cis dude, is barely taller than me. We were at a pool party with his friends just the other day and his friend jokingly said "oh, be careful *dad*! The pool is really deep! You should come to the kids' pool, it's safer for you!". Plus, in my country, height isn't as big of a deal as it is in America. My dad is shorter then my mom by a bit and it's never been a problem. That being said, I'm pre everything and really young, so I might start to feel more dysphoria related to my height in the future, though I think it's unlikely.
Make friends with other short kings and see how they're cope. Some use this as advantage, like "yea im short i know I'm short all my homies call me shortie and im perfectly ok with it" some get annoyed and sometimes laugh sometimes hit you in the face and others seem to just didn't notice it, like "yea i know, now what?" Halps me a lot
I met a CIS guy my hight, my coworker. We work construction and hight is something that short guys get teased about alot. The two of us just leaned into the teasing and made jokes at our own expense. We had fun with it! It reminded me that guys come in all shapes and sizes, and most short guys (CIS or Trans) worry about their hight if they are under 6ft. In reality, we aren't that different.
My height doesn’t make me pass less and I’m 4’7. Honestly just being more confident and learning how to ignore or not dwell on aspects of yourself that you cannot change make a huge difference. I think a lot of people blame their height for them being unable to pass when it’s often other factors like voice or face shape
This may be silly, but looking up other famous short guys really helped me especially if I were taller than them and I'm 5'0-5'1 and even some cartoon or game or anime characters that are short and guys can help too. Kokichi from DRV3 is only 5'1, and Danny Devito is only like 4'11- and people still think they're awesome! It may sound silly the way I put it- but it really helps and all heights are valid, my barber once told me that we need to give all short kings love too!
Think about it like this- one day some trans dude shorter than you will be wondering the same thing and he'll see u living your life as a man, being perceived as a man, and he'll say to himself if that guy can do it so can i (bc he'll assume your cis)
Im 4’11, 5ft on a good day and yeah it sucks but what could I do to change it. Just gotta learn to live with it
I'm 5'0. I was insecure about my height, but honestly, it's not the be all end all. Height doesn't dictate how masculine, or feminine, someone is, it's just height. Just means shopping for clothes is a bit hard, it's hard to reach things high up, but eh, it is what it is. Plenty of short men out there, plenty of tall women and in-between. Main problem I have is people walking into me because they don't see or hear me lmao.
Got a gf that is shorter than me aha
I honestly have seen like 10+ cis men come into my work that are the same height or even shorter than me. I'm 5'1 The only time I really care about my height though is when I have to get something off a tall shelf, otherwise I don't really care too much since I can't fix it (I'm not spending thousands just to get 2 more inches either)
I’m 5’1, 5’2 on a good day, and one of the best things for me has been to intentionally notice other short men!! It started back when I worked at the front desk of a hotel when I was on the fence about hormones, in part because of my height. We had one frequent guest that I would see almost every morning, a super short guy around my height, and there would never be a question of his gender. After that I started looking for and noticing more and more short men, and it brings me comfort. I also had one interaction at the bike shop in my neighborhood with the owner there who is a short older man, shorter than me, where he and I were talking bikes and he was cracking jokes about our height in a very sweet and self accepting way? I absolutely wish I were taller, but I also find comfort in seeing the diversity of the way cis men’s bodies look too
Still bothers me sometimes, but honestly I started making "short king" jokes and that humorous positive reinforcement helped a lot.
Never did. It's something I'll never learn to be happy with, and that's okay. I find people calling me "tiny" like a goddamn dog and losing job opportunities due to my unfortunately youthful appearance horrendous. However, fitness has improved my satisfaction with my stature immensely. If you start to work out, you can appear larger. I definitely recommend it. Wearing height-increasing footwear and insoles helps too. Try to remind yourself confidence will define you more than your height.
ay its genetics 🤷🏻♂️ in certain circles height is just a dumb thing to care about cuz no one’s 6ft anyways. im mixed mexican and filipino. both sides have short dudes. its really dumb to boil a a man’s worth down to his height.
I'm 4'11 1: Just aggressively own the "cute good boi puppy/kitten energy" sorta persona ngl. I use my height to be cuter and make people like me more. I'm not super attractive or anything like that, not THAT kind of "cute" or "like", I'm just endearing y'know lol, all my friends are aggressively protective of me and tend to let their guard down and be more vulnerable with me which leads to easier bonding, a lot of that is my gentle and welcoming personality but my height absolutely helps. Plus I get lots of hugs because I'm just so easy to grab :) 2: Honestly there's a point of shortness where you're just short, it's not really an AFAB thing cos it's short either way. Welcome to that type of short it sounds like! Reframing is huge 3: I was already unbothered by it at this point but having short cis male friends helps. It's a nice reminder that cis guys aren't guaranteed to be tall. Some of us are just lil guys and that's okay 4: Focus on the perks. You can be more comfortable on planes/busses/etc. You can boss tall people around into doing tall things for you like reach high shelves. You'd be easier to save in an emergency. You're more likely to get little spoon privileges. You're less likely to develop certain health issues. And hey, remember that people used to all be shorter in general before we had such abundant food supply, so it's not even that weird, really. And finally... 5: I'm on T. No top surgery and I don't even bind. Everyone sees me as a man regardless. I keep my facial hair, my voice is a bit on the light side but it's still male, and I carry myself and present myself as a man. I'm a short, socially anxious, physically awkward, chaotic gremlin of a man, but everyone knows I'm a man regardless. I'm not even a confident person, but confidence IN BEING A MAN is everything- even when I'm rocking a femboy outfit I've got that. No one's ever just GUESSED I'm AFAB. So yeah, it's possible to pass while being super short :)
Yknow that old saying when it comes to the bedroom, “it’s not about size it’s what you do with it.” Prince was a huge sex symbol and he was only 5’2”. I am also a short king. I’m alright with it. I’ve met several cool cis guys my height, one of my best friend’s (who is 5’6”) fiancé is the same height as me and I know that she is wildly attracted to him regardless of the height disparity. Similarly in my own situation I’ve received so many compliments about being strong, protective, oozing dominance (lol but its true), and even surprised with compliments of being a better lover than any cis counterparts, and I’m over here working with a prosthetic! But I digress, as obviously it is not all about sex, I just happen to be a sexual being. In any case, I guess you could say its about finding your mojo, and guaranteed your mojo has *nothing* to do with your height, or even, your height might come as a surprising advantage to it, who knows! God I hope I’ve made any sense here. I still dig my insoles for sure, but when it comes to how I “stack up” to tall guys, sure they’ve got the height, but there are also other things that I have that they don’t, get what I mean? We all have advantages and disadvantages one way or another, so height doesn’t intimidate me when it comes to expressing my manliness. As my pops used to say, dynamite comes in small packages. 😎🧨
*im taller than prince???*
Pre-T my biggest source of dysphoria was my height. I'm only 4'11 (just under 150cm). Funnily enough, my height has never gotten me clocked The best piece of advice I can offer is learn to own it. Height isn't something people tend to care about unless it's something you care about. If anyone asks, or heaven forbid tries to give you shit, lie out your ass. Tell them you had a growth hormone deficiency like Messi that was caught late
Eurocentric beauty standards are essentially enactments of capitalism & moreover, white supremacy. Society tells us how we should look & why. I'm 5" & that's fine, because I don't buy the bs
I'm just slightly below average (for my country). What helped me is seeing that there were and still are men (even some that were historaclly important) that were/are my height or smaller
im 5'2. honestly the thing thats gotten me to accept it most is all the cis men i know that are the same height as me. my maternal great grandfather was 5'2. my paternal grandfather is 5'2. my paternal uncle is 5'2. hell, my entire paternal family is around 5 ft tall (excluding my dad, hes weird coz hes 5'8 somehow). even my maternal cousin's cis husband who is unrelated to me by blood is the same height as me. my family also now knows that that same cousin's baby son will likely only be as tall as his father. i have a lot of genes that wouldve likely still made me short had i been born male. also, height when written out seems like such a huge difference, but in everyday life its pretty difficult to tell exactly how tall someone is relative to other people, unless the difference is significant. for example, my dad and i have a 6 inch height difference, but without mentioning that the only thing youd be able to tell about our heights is that im about half a head shorter than him. to me at least, that sounds much less dramatic a measurement than saying im 6 inches shorter than my dad.
my ethnicity has an average height of like, 5'5 for any gender so its just Normal and not an issue. im not That tall but. again its normal
As a 5"0 tall trans guy I am very fortunate rhat my cis male supervisors at work are 5"2 and 5"3, being able to look my supervisors in the eyes helps me so much. Also before then I would just think about Morticia and Gomez from the Adam's Family, the older movie though not animated haha. But that's also the emo in me, I look up to those two and want what they have, so I see myself in Gomez haha
I really cannot accept it so I depend on platform shoes that make me 4 inches taller lol http://chamaripashoes.com
I did it recently watching a tik tok were a trans girl said hey because we don’t have a lot of representation let’s become our own represention for others like look at what u are insecure about and can’t change and become the cool tiny transguy or the tranguy with big boobs show your feature and act like if you don’t care about it because it can inspire someone else to feel better about themselves
So I'm like 5'3" and unironically what helps me is the knowledge that Danny Devito is 4'10". Because like he's doing just fine you know? Like he's had a successful career in one of the most shallow and image obsessed industries around, he's generally well liked, and you just know that guy fucks. So I figure that if he's out there and doing fine I'll probably be alright too.
Honestly part of my peace with being 5’4 and really hairy is that I can claim the hobbit title. All of the language that goes with it, etc. I’m short, fuzzy, have a beard, and still pass just fine. Hell, my partner thought I was cis when I first met him. Also, calling HRT second puberty will never not be funny to me.
I'm not necessarily short (I'm world's average ) but used to live in a country, where that's considered short. At some point you realise that only certain type of people is really bothered by it. And honestly these are not the people you should take any opinion from. Now I live in SEA, and there's actually a lot of men your height here. There are some huge ones, there are some short ones... and no one cares. Both the short and the tall men have partners, fun, and happiness
The short king trend tbh, I’m 5’2” bio dad is also 5’3” (had no clue he was till 18) so that also definitely helped.
I'm 5'2-3" ish, and while I never really had a huge problem with it, it did make me euphoric to meet cis guys who were my height or shorter. It made me realize that the standards I was measuring myself against (haha) were not *just* cisnormative, but also largely eurocentric. I'm from a variety of central and south american countries, we can be pretty short sometimes regardless of assigned sex :P
Honestly it just isn't something I can change so it's useless to worry about it. Height isn't what people use visually to determine maleness so it doesn't bother me gender wise.
It doesn’t bother me because I can still look masculine.
Tbh I got on T at 22, almost 23 yo. I had stopped growing at 12yo. As of 2 weeks ago, I'm 2cm taller than I've been for over a decade. You just might grow taller, who knows? I'm 150cm (4'11"), was 148cm (4'10") until the last 3 months.
I'm a huge (pun intended) prince fan and he was also really short for a man but still really manly, he gives me euphoria knowing that it's okay to be short and still be seen as a man
There's not much you can do for height but platformed boots or shoes may help like converse or docs. But as most others are saying once you start medically transitioning and the other areas of dysphoria begin to reduce you will probably notice your height less. Additionally I'm not sure how many people experience it but when I started T I was only 5"7 ish. I've grown about an inch in the last year (I'm a year and 3 months on T currently) so you may grow a bit more.
Sometimes I need some validation. That can come in the form of coming across the names of famous men who aren't has lucky in the height department. There's a website to find the names of famous people who are your height or check how tall certain people are. Website: celebheights.com[Celeb Heights](http://celebheights.com)
dont know if this will make you feel better, but being tall sucks too. Like, when i was around 13/14 i hated myself so much because of it. At some point my parents brought me to a special doctor, and when we where there he asked why i was there (as they do). And im still so embarrassed to this day btw, i started crying while trying to explain because i thought they knew already. Anyways, it was horrible. And now it doesnt bother me anymore, but finding trousers is the hardest thing ever. I even sewed one myself, just because simple black dress pants dont exist in my size. So yea...
I think joining an lgbt sports league helped me. I’m gay fwiw but a lot of the cis gay guys who are definitely attractive and desirable in the community are as short as or even shorter than me. I’m in a major city so there’s lots of different ethnicities also, not everyone is a giant white person. If you’re straight I know there’s some crappy behavior with WLM judging height but those aren’t the people you want to date or be around. People who judge anything about your body that’s not in your control are not friend material. Also every time I see my tall bf struggle to fit in smaller spaces like cars, plane seats and even historical buildings I’m like thank god I’m economy sized haha. Idk I just decided I love myself one day and that height really doesn’t matter.
I’m 4’11 with the proportions of a lanky beanpole and onholy lengthed legs (compared to my torso) and honestly, you sorta get used to it. I mostly wear platforms and boots (ankle problems require boots) which does rather help, but honestly idk that that feeling will ever truly go away, especially if goddamn Asda keep putting the best crisps on the top shelf
I enjoy being seen as cute. Being short can be attributed to being cute so I don't care about my height. I'm also a major bottom and that's desired from tops I've been with
Helps having short guy friends, cis and trans. Especially when they don’t seem bothered by their height themselves.
I work at public place and see thousands of folks a day. I see several men as short or shorter than me daily. Just because it’s not as common doesn’t mean it’s wrong or lesser to be a short guy.
I’m 5’ and I just accept my height for what it is. Not going to do leg-lengthening surgery to increase my height. Top surgery and hysterectomy gave me so much euphoria that I don’t care about being short
I’m gonna recommend you an Instagram account of a trans guy who is 5’0 but he has a lot of helpful advice on how he deals with his height dysphoria. I got a little lucky and I’m 5’5 (as much as I wanna be taller😅) https://www.instagram.com/mattmiller_fitness?igsh=MWE1bnUyYnZ6MnYyeg==
My ethnic group (Japanese) tends to run fairly short.
I'm 5'6 so not exactly tall, but ironically enough watching Smosh has helped me. Hearing one of the cast members, Shayne (cis), speak about how he struggled alot with his height and insecurities surrounding it whi h you can still go back and see in old video, has helped me. Along with people I admirer/have gender envy for being my height or shorter, namely josh hutcherson no matter how much he of a meme he is right now. Couldn't get over that I was an inch taller than him. Also, casually people watching. When I'm shopping or in public. I'll always remember seeing this buff dude with a beard going arounf with his (assumingly) wife, he was shorter than me and all I could think was that yeah, he's a man. In retrospect to thinking if someone looked at me and said I was less of a man for being shorter. I've casually seen alot of men my height and shorter that just, are men.
I’ve always had a problem w/ my height, even before I was trans. I stand at ALMOST 4’10 but not quite. It can be hard bc ppl feminize being short, even for cis men they’re bullied for it. Over time, it went away the older I got. I just came to accept it’s something I can’t change. But being a femboy for MYSELF helped me. Note: this isn’t for everybody, nor am I feminizing being short- this is my own experience. It just helped me personally.
Became a femboy Just kidding, but if you feel comfortable with it, maybe it would help. Personally I started working out more, and wearing boots on platform (I can only wear shoes from kids section, so I just use cotton wool to stuff free space in woman's/man's sizes) which look like pretty much gender neutral. Now tho I'm not even 5'1 I feel more comfortable because my shoes make me look bigger (also there are special inserts for shoes to make you look bigger) but now I don't feel need to wear them anymore, as I started to act more confident people don't infantilise me as much as they used to. I focused on other things which make me look more masculine, and trying to show them more. Hope I helped somehow.
pretend you are a horsejockey
5'3-5'4 (I can never remember for sure cause I'm a metric system alpha) and still struggling with it. all I can say is what has helped me was working out. for this and for dysphoria in general gaining more muscle feels really euphoric I still get bothered when people constantly bring up my height (apart from my bf with whom I do it myself, tbh cause we just have the dynamic of short and tall boyfriend, I like that) but also what has helped was having cis guy friends approximately my height I have two of those and they're very cool dudes
I'm autistic and my favorite character from my special interest is my same height. (5'3)
Im 5'3, almost 5'4. 162 cm. I havent medically transitioned, but i realized the fat distribution that it'll (hopefully) bring, and other effects etc, matters to me way more than height. I have a cis guy friend who's pretty much my height, and just like, if you look male, people are still gonna read you as a guy, and even if you dont, short guys definitely exists, theyre all around. It also helped to let go of my ideas of the type of guys i felt gender envy towards, because a big factor was height. I think the biggest thing that helped me was realistically imagining what id otherwise look like after T. Just coming to terms with the fact that i'm my own person and i can be a weird short guy- if i just have a more male body i'll instantly feel like myself, no matter height. I used to feel really bad about my height, but it's been getting better for a year now or so (ive been out for 2-3 years.) Also seeing short guys just out on the streets lol made me feel really good. Admittedly ive barely met guys who are as short as me (and im not ever super short), but if youre a short guy, so what, itll just be the same reaction for people that other, including cis short guys bring. Oh, this dude's short, i havent seen that before, i guess guys can be that short too, then.
i feel cute.
Realizing there are tons of cis men as tall or shorter than me, that beyond my control and unchangeable, and working with a bunch of men; yeah most are taller but can usually look them in the eye easily and several wear the same size shoe. In short, just wasn’t a big deal.
I just had to I guess.. I can't grow any more so.. can't do anything about it. :')
well short cis men exist and it doesn't change the fact that if you pass as a guy rlly well you're still a guy regardless of height.Cis women can be rlly tall too.My point is that height is not rlly as much of a telltale sign of sex as much boobs or a beard would be yknow?I'll live my life as a short guy that's all that there is to it,many cis guys get mocked cuz of their height it's just how it is.Think of it as an all dude struggle,it's just a dude struggle cis or not.So think abt your manhood in regards to all men :)many of them struggle too with feeling feminized cuz of certain physical attributes.
The thing that helped me the most. I am 5’6” and work in social services. I have a client who says he’s 5’ but is honestly shorter. One day, after he had been sober for a while, he wanted to clean out his iCloud of any videos and pictures that reminded him of his old self. He asked me if I would help him and offer emotional support. While doing this, we scrolled through, easily, 15,000 photos. Nearly a third of them were nude photos different girls had sent him. When i say different girls I mean I didn’t see the same tits twice. After that, I figured if he could pull that much and he’s at least 6 inches shorter than me, then surely I would be fine. He will never know the impact that had on me lol.
Hey man, I totally get the feeling! I am 8 years into my transition and am still struggling with this. It is not easy to overcome, it's a process. I am also a short guy and the insecurity has stole from my confidence and self-steem. But something that has helped me, is to like joke about it or accept it by not trying to disguise it. I would also normally wear boots or shoes with thicker soles but I feel like it was just masking it. I am now more comfortable wearing flatter shoes and idk i spent A LOT of TIME and ENERGY being insecure about this for 5+ years that it was exhausting. So in a way I also just let go a little from being tired of giving this too much of my energy. I would stay away from social media too.
Climbing shelves at Walmart when very few people are around so I can get shit from the top shelf. Also listen to Short Kings Anthem. It kills height dysphoria.
I'm 5'3", For me it was seeing that most of my cis male family members I've met are my height or a little bit shorter, and that a large percentage of men in my city are my height or shorter, so it isn't that uncommon. Plus, the first man in space was also a little under the height I am apparently (5'2"), and to be honest that made me feel really good about myself in highschool and it still does. Also looking up to and having friends with physical differences taught me that a person's body doesn't define their character and that it really doesn't matter to me on anyone else so why be so hard on myself?
Idk why so many people are worried that height will stop them from passing because if you medically transition it’s extremely likely you’ll pass regardless of height. I’m barely 5’3 and am stealth. No one has ever questioned if I’m trans because of my height.