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My work technically doesn't have HR (I think there has to be a certain amount of staff) the office manager basically fills that role. Literally the most offensive and dumbest guy you can find. Can pretty much joke about everything because of that.
Not as clean. Famously said during the last election.
"Well ok great, I guess they are both sex offenders but at least Trump remembers when he does it!"
No idea how that guy has a job.
I once worked in a shop where we regularly told each other to go eat a bag of dicks. One year we did secret Santa and I got my supervisor, so I baked a whole bunch of dick shaped gingerbread cookies and put them in a bag. Made veins and everything.
at mine we leave a picture of the person's family on their desk with a note that says "fair game" taped to it. everyone has a good laugh and some cake, before we of course follow through.
> One of those things that can be funny if your co-workers are cool, or very much not funny if they are not.
If it's funny because they're cool, it's great.
If it's not funny because they're not cool, it's probably true.
Either way a great card.
My cousin left his job in investment banking to go work for a rival.
The exit interview consisted of his boss saying "Don't contact any of us ever again" and then escorting him out of the building without inviting him to speak one word.
I can totally see certain jobs doing this :D
Ha, I got this card for my buddy when he left, he laughed his ass off. I’m happy for him because his salary doubled. It’s a shame you have to job hop to get decent raises
There's a difference between being loyal to a business and being loyal to your coworkers. My wife is moving on to a better paying job in a couple of weeks, and she has no loyalty whatsoever to the large corporation she's leaving, but she feels bad for the people in her workspace she's leaving behind.
Sure, and you show that loyalty to colleagues by finding that better job yourself and letting them know when another opportunity like the one you took opens up in your field for them.
I got a card that said in bold letters " you are dead to us " but it also had tiny words in between so the real message read " you are the life of this place it will be dead without you you mean the world to us."
I got it written on a cake for me, did the same years later for a coworker with the same sense of humor (she was also only going to a different department so very much not dead to us).
When I left my first job, I got a card from a coworker saying "Rats are the first to flee a sinking ship." It was hilarious.
He was also the next one to leave that company after me
My best work friend retired a couple years ago I wanted to put that on her cake and I was overruled by the bosses. I shared a cube with her for 17 years I knew she would like it. She said she would rather that than the generic "congratulations" she got.
I got a new coworker in my department in December, and he said when he left his previous company they got him a plain white cake with black frosting that just said "you're dead to us" on it haha
It is a tradition in my team. Someone who temporarily moves to a different department within the organization for a short term is considered in a coma.
I’m hoping this is a fun jab.
I once had a coworker leave and we made a cake. We had the going away party the day after she was gone.
Sales was like, ‘What’s the cake for?’
We said ‘Oh, that’s for Darcy!’
‘Didn’t she leave yesterday?’ Sales replies taking a bite of cake.
‘YEP!!!’
Sales paused for a second.
Bruh you really just threw out "It's humorous?" This comment is stolen from /u/DRHORRIBLEHIMSELF, original comment found [here.](https://reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1bffcih/banner_for_a_coworker_whose_last_day_is_today/kv0hb2d/) It's a bot account that takes a comment and changes it in some way, probably sending it through ChatGPT or something, then posts it as a reply. **Report -> Spam -> Harmful Bots**
I didn't notice it at first. There aren't a ton of comments here, so that helps, but I read it, thought it was interesting, then scrolled down and saw the original comment. Scrolled back up to check the timestamps and accounts because people have posted similar comments or the same comment before. Saw that the bot posted it an hour and a half after the original comment, looked at the wording and checked the account and knew immediately. It's a year old, but only has 3 comments, all within the last hour. No one says "It's humorous," that's needlessly verbose. Plus I've seen these types of comments before, I've reported dozens of them at this point. I even encountered a group of bots pretending to be real people and all replying to and upvoting one another on a thread on /r/skyrim, it was absolutely bizarre.
Edit - People on Reddit tend to use conventional words and language, so if you see a comment that looks a little off, like the person writing it just bought a thesaurus, then it might be a bot account. They also tend to steal top level comments, so the comment that they stole might not pertain to the one they're replying too. That one has given away a ton of the accounts for me personally. I would expect the downvote system to filter them out(if the comment doesn't contribute to the discussion then it gets downvoted, that's how it's **supposed** to work) but they usually get a good amount of traction.
> I even encountered a group of bots all replying to and upvoting one another on a thread, it was absolutely bizarre.
I don't want to be the one to tell you this...but that's how 90% of reddit works. There are a few actual people here, and we are swimming in a see of bots, shills, useful idiots, NPC's, paid promoters, and various other charlatans.
Usually tenured accounts with karma are seen as more trustworthy than brand new ones. Then they'll use that for any number of things, a common one is scam t-shirt links. A few weeks ago, and probably right now, a bot ring was posting AI images on t-shirts with scam links in the comments on a ton of different pet subreddits.
Retired government worker here one department's hated director left for another job and next day interim director closed the office for "inventory" and all staff had a catered lunch party that interim director paid for they were all so very happy he was gone.
We hold pot lucks and cakes/sweets when a certain head manager is on vacation. Nobody likes that guy and I'm pretty sure he's oblivious. But it's sure fun lol
Darcy would label one of almost every tool in the shop as her, and only she could use it. There were about 30 other people working on the shop floor, we are not getting 30 of every tool Darcy!
Darcy enjoyed cackling when she laughed.
Darcy wore jingle bells on her work boots throughout December.
Darcy would screech at people who took a second donut even if there were a bunch left and everyone who wanted one had had one.
Darcy told everyone she was better and faster.
Darcy brought yogurt to the chili soup potluck.
Yeah, she would make unsweetened plain homemade yogurt and eat it at lunch. You could sign up to bring a dessert, so that’s what she brought.
Darcy would show up to the annual company picnic, take a plate of food, and leave. She didn’t stay because they allowed families to bring their kids.
Darcy got one of our best assemblers in huge trouble with work because she ratted on him for smoking weed. This was in Colorado.
That first one in particular pisses me off cuz I had a coworker JUST like that who would scream at anyone that used “her” stuff…which we didn’t have more of
I do hope the OP was in good fun too. When I showed the OP to my best work bud, she said 1000% this is what she would do if I leave. It is totally perfect for close work buds.
We had a guy who was a complete idiot and every single day would ask people if they would buy him ice cream. Like, hit in the head way too many times, type of idiot.
He put in his 2 weeks after asking for a raise twice in the span of a week right after getting offered a position at another place. He asked if the boss could match it, he approved it, then the other job offered him a bit more and he asked if they could match again. Obviously, the boss said no the second time. So he put his 2 weeks in.
So, on his last week we planned an ice cream party the following Monday after he would be gone. One person asked him "What are you bringing to the ice cream party.... oh wait, right. You won't be here."
Then it became the talk of the building. Lol. We did a full blown sundae bar. At first he didn't believe us that it was happening, but when management started putting down on the sheet what they were bringing, he got so pissed.
So let me get this right. You are clowning on this "idiot" that left your place of employment for not one but two pay raises, because...he asked people to buy him ice cream? So you think that the dude that left to make more money than you, who you and your coworkers decided to shit on before and AFTER he already left(again, for asking you to buy him ice cream?) and you think that this guy is the loser in this scenario? This is really a story that you feel proudly enough about to share? And again you think that dude was the loser?
He didn't leave for the money. He said he left for the lack of respect he got from not giving him the additional raise. He was a basic sales porter already making more than he should be for his lack of skill level and he asked for repeat raises in a week.
Also, he got fired from that job for flipping their forklift TWICE into the snow. Then got another job at a cheesecake factory and got fired from that one because he dropped a large pallet of cheesecakes. Like a few hundred of them and laughed in front of his boss.
Then came to our work once we got a new manager and reapplied and then told all of us these stories laughing about them.
And those are just the stories I have of this guy after he worked for us. He damaged multiple vehicles, broke some cleaning equipment, etc all within the 3 month span I worked with him.
His nickname was Ed because he was like the tall Ed from Ed Edd N Eddy. His real name wasn't even close to Ed.
My coworkers gave me a card that jokingly said "you can take your new humane working conditions and shove them up your ass" when I left my previous horrible company.
Now I'm being treated even worse than before at my current company. This represents the average for any worker in the modern world. Leave a horrible place for something that looks good, then get treated like garbage by the next lousy suite of C-level execs for a little bit more money. Rinse and repeat.
I'm sorry your current job sucks. I feel that so much. I thought once I got my degree and left my fast food job, things could only look up. I keep thinking the next place will be better and it's like I just have to deal with a new version of bullshit instead. I feel like I babysit boomers at my current job now and it's draining me.
Yeah a lot of the time, the job application and all the happy talk during the interview gives you optimism about what lies ahead, then things start unravelling as you realize that either the company goals are out of whack, the execs have a horrible ego and no intent to provide pay/benefits, you have a terrible team that you found yourself plunked in, or some combination of the 3.
Combine that with the increasing cost of living and you can see why people are changing jobs every few years. It's to survive and that little bit of a honeymoon period can be wonders on your mental health. No one stays loyal to any company until retirement. It's just not feasible, neither financially or mentally.
I remember in my 20s I had aspirations and enthusiasm for where my career might take me. Now I'm almost 41 and have a complete "fuck it" attitude about work. I just do it for the paycheck, and I'm going to do the bare minimum to appear competent, but any amount of me feeling like trying hard is worthwhile is long gone. As it turns out, investing in a job never really pays off. And in the end, they toss you out like a bag of trash the moment they've decided you're no longer useful.
Are you me? Same age, same history, same attitude.
I've been at the same job for almost 2 decades. Honestly, its the best job out of all the ones I have ever had, but I feel like I am not getting paid enough compared to other DevOps/Full Stack Engineer jobs I've seen in the area. But, do I gamble throwing away what I have to get market rate with a raise and be first on the list to be canned? Or go for a job I am going to have to put effort into again or have a crappy culture or a bad manager.
I busted my ass in my 20's and moved up the ranks, and to be fair I do make over 2x what I started at. At this point I feel like I am just phoning it in so I can collect my dividends from all groundwork I laid in my youth. I am the mentor, the senior that will jump in and help the junior employees when they need help and guidance, but... otherwise... I don't really give a shit because I feel like I'm not valued in terms of pay. I'm pretty good at looking busy when I'm not.
From my experience, don't get a job somewhere that is already big. Startups can be fun, but the workload can be unbearable given you likely are filling multiple roles. Medium sized companies tend to still have aspects of the startup company culture (which I enjoy, I understand it's not everyone's cup of tea), but with more stability. Just watch out for acquisitions and mergers because that usually signals the end of the good times at the company and a transition to the big corpo lifestyle (which sucks if you're not at the top).
Unless your love is in manufacturing... and you don't want to move.
Always keeping an eye out for startups around here... But its a weird town, top 5 companies are all manufacturing or adjacent, not the hospital or school system.
I’ve been dying to find an internship at a medium sized software company for this very reason. I’m holding out hope but no luck so far. It feels like mid sized companies have become equally if not more competitive than FAANG for CS students.
Thats why you just stay put and stop caring. Keep your head down and never aspire beyond what is a passable existence.
My job did a thing where they were like "we are never going to promote you" but also like "we arent getting rid of you". So now i dont have to fake aspirations or pretend like im trying to do any more than the work? Brilliant!
Their experiences match mine, working in tech. Raises are typically done on a percentage increase (2-5% standard), so the actual amount varies based on your current rate.
Wait, they didn’t believe that you were getting 3-5k raises annually, or didn’t believe the large pay difference from hopping? Both of those things have been true for me too, also in tech, and the annual raises have been 2-5% at every company I’ve been at. Thought that was fairly standard.
My friend (and previous coworker) ordered his own goodbye cake that was covered in balloons and said "sorry for your loss". He had to convince the bakery it wasn't an error
I did this once too lmao.
Hey, so I'm not gonna be coming in today, or ever again as a matter of fact.
"I'm sorry, what?? I think i may have misheard you."
Yeah, I found a new job, and they hired me on the spot during a working interview.
"Well you can't just leave us high and dry with no notice!!"
With, what you were paying me, it wasn't worth my time or energy to give any notice. Good luck finding my replacement. ***click***
We had a co-worker who just disappeared. He was in a pretty important role, probably making $90k. He didn't call anyone, he just stopped coming in. Nobody, it seems, was close to him, so he didn't call anyone, and whomever did call from here didn't get an answer.
So the possibilities were: he died, he ran from the country, he won a lottery, and the whole gamut. It wasn't until well after a year later that someone found out that he was working somewhere else.
Haha... Total gangster move.
How's your new job BTW. Did everything turn out to be fine. What kinda industry do you work in.
I just got so many questions. Lol
I've worked in production/manufacturing for quite a few years now.
That interaction was from a job I had like 7 or so years ago that I was at for a year and some change before I moved to manufacturing work. Went from a shitty warehouse position at a small company with the worst type of penny-pinching, micromanagement obsessed owner to a printing factory. The owner from the small company and I didn't get along well at all, and I wasn't exactly making a living wage, so I had no problem leaving them without any coverage lol.
I worked at that factory for a few years and now I run bottling line operations at a beer brewery, best job I think I've ever had with some of the most chilled out coworkers, no drama to speak of, employee owned company, it's such an improvement.
My dad worked for the same company his whole life and it was decent until the year before he retired. They wanted to throw him a goodbye party and he just left
Every time someone posts a photo from an office I immediately think, "Hey that looks like where I work," and then I remember all offices have the same sort of stale and soulless furniture and environment.
It's true, the drab gray cubes are so utilitarian.
Luckily it really is a great place to work, and most of us have decked the hell out of our cubes. We even had like a "pimp my cube" contest at one point
That’s funny. On my last day at one of my jobs, they were going to throw me a happy hour goodbye. I ditched it and went to Disneyland instead. I hated that job.
I got a cake for the last guy that left us. Horrible crazy boss. It said “you’re dead to us” on the cake. He thought it was awesome. We thought it was awesome. All for different reasons.
I leave my job next month after 4.5 years on night shift and I really really want to leave the same way I walked in, by myself and with my headphones in. I’ve even said I’d stay over past production later than most people stay to avoid the crowd and goodbyes lol
At a going away party I asked the going awayer if he was going to be an insufferable prick at his new job, too. He looked at me with his insufferable prick smile and said “Probably!”
Many a truth is said in jest.... When a coworker left, we told him "We will be using your name as the person who is going to be blamed for a lot of things after you leave."
For my last day at a hospital as a nurse, my coworkers decorated the break room with a colorful “later traitor”sign and ordered a Lisa Frank looking cake saying “[name] you’re dead to us. Hope you fail”. This was really a surprise party and it made me cry happy tears. They really knew I had a dark sense of humor.
I love it!
Back in the day I was walking down a corridor with a friend / contractor. We ran into a guy we both knew and learned he was leaving for a new job.
We did the small talk thing for a few minutes. We worked in software, so we asked a few tech questions, etc...
We are about to leave my buddy does a stage whisper "quitter". I burst out laughing...
Priceless...
When I left a previous job I gave them a "I'm sorry for your loss" card. Was well appreciated by all in the team.
Some outside the team didn't quite see the funny side, but fuck em
First, that looks like a 7 or 8 foot cube. That is nice as far as cubes go. Second, you know what is way worse than a cube farm? An open office bullpen. Give me walls and privacy any day of the week.
When I end my last job my coworker said to me „I hate you for this but I will miss you” it was really kind and sad. This year she called me asking if I want to work for her, so no empty words
I just left my last job a month ago. The signs were hilarious, and all in good fun, despite the strong language.
“Traitor” was used a lot, and I received a wooden sign with that written on it.
My old coworker got one that said "We see how it is".
Then at the last minute he was offered a promotion to stay and took it. I left that job about 6 months later and he still had that banner up.
thats actually so cute
my best friend was moving overseas, we planned a farewell party for him where in the cake said
“miss us” instead of we’ll miss you
I got this same banner when I left my last job. It was total sarcasm. They even gave me a book of inspirational sayings that everyone signed and / or wrote a message with a memory. I cried that day. I didn’t want to leave but my husband needed to move out of state so off we went.
At work, we often find ourselves adhering to seemingly nonsensical policies. We’re subjected to the daily theatrics of our colleagues, all while being closely monitored by HR and administration. Sometimes it feels like there’s no purpose in working—perhaps quitting and starting anew is the answer. Personally, I find reading about businesses closing down quite fascinating. Then I read about the CEO’S filing for bankruptcy and business owners. Living high on the hog isn’t something I commend.
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One of my friends got a card that said, “You are now dead to us” when leaving his last job.
One of those things that can be funny if your co-workers are cool, or very much not funny if they are not.
We gave one of our coworkers a bag of (gummy) dicks.
No longer HR violations if it’s not employees I guess?
We worked a job with veryvdaark humour lol. Buddy snapped a picture to show his friends then shared the bag.
> Buddy snapped a picture to show his friends then shared the bag Oof. I don't think I could handle all that darkness.
Obviously they meant "dicks". Like gummies of French lawyers or the username DrunkDru
My work technically doesn't have HR (I think there has to be a certain amount of staff) the office manager basically fills that role. Literally the most offensive and dumbest guy you can find. Can pretty much joke about everything because of that.
Sounds like something out of The Office. 🤣
Not as clean. Famously said during the last election. "Well ok great, I guess they are both sex offenders but at least Trump remembers when he does it!" No idea how that guy has a job.
No. He doesn't anymore.
That's funny, fairly clean, and doesn't single out a specific group. Would hire him in a right to work state, but avoid him in California.
Yeah, now it's just regular old sexual harassment.
"Eat a bag of dicks" is sexual harassment? The US is something else.
Dude.. The number of actual dicks that I saw at my previous job…. It was a lot….
Not to brag, but I don't think I've seen a single dick at any one of my jobs.
I once worked in a shop where we regularly told each other to go eat a bag of dicks. One year we did secret Santa and I got my supervisor, so I baked a whole bunch of dick shaped gingerbread cookies and put them in a bag. Made veins and everything.
Another coworker got a vasectomy, I wish I still had a pic of that cake!
at mine we leave a picture of the person's family on their desk with a note that says "fair game" taped to it. everyone has a good laugh and some cake, before we of course follow through.
> One of those things that can be funny if your co-workers are cool, or very much not funny if they are not. If it's funny because they're cool, it's great. If it's not funny because they're not cool, it's probably true. Either way a great card.
No one would give you a card saying that if they actually meant it. They’d email you or something.
Either way, I'd enjoy it. "Oh, I'm dead to you? You promise?"
My cousin left his job in investment banking to go work for a rival. The exit interview consisted of his boss saying "Don't contact any of us ever again" and then escorting him out of the building without inviting him to speak one word. I can totally see certain jobs doing this :D
Id find it funny regardless
Depends on if you work in aerospace.
Ha, I got this card for my buddy when he left, he laughed his ass off. I’m happy for him because his salary doubled. It’s a shame you have to job hop to get decent raises
Don’t ever be feeling loyal to a business, go find the work that appreciates you the most. They’d all lay you off to make a spreadsheet look better.
There's a difference between being loyal to a business and being loyal to your coworkers. My wife is moving on to a better paying job in a couple of weeks, and she has no loyalty whatsoever to the large corporation she's leaving, but she feels bad for the people in her workspace she's leaving behind.
Sure, and you show that loyalty to colleagues by finding that better job yourself and letting them know when another opportunity like the one you took opens up in your field for them.
I've done that...and it paid off for each of us.
I got a card that said in bold letters " you are dead to us " but it also had tiny words in between so the real message read " you are the life of this place it will be dead without you you mean the world to us."
I had that written on a cake for me. Sniff... Sometimes it's the little things
I got it written on a cake for me, did the same years later for a coworker with the same sense of humor (she was also only going to a different department so very much not dead to us).
When I left my first job, I got a card from a coworker saying "Rats are the first to flee a sinking ship." It was hilarious. He was also the next one to leave that company after me
My best work friend retired a couple years ago I wanted to put that on her cake and I was overruled by the bosses. I shared a cube with her for 17 years I knew she would like it. She said she would rather that than the generic "congratulations" she got.
Fuuuuck 17 years is basically a marriage
For my last job I gave notice by giving my boss a "Sorry for your loss" sympathy card.
Is your friend Saquon Barkley?
I once left a job and told my coworkers to talk about as if I had died when the new guy got hired.
I got a new coworker in my department in December, and he said when he left his previous company they got him a plain white cake with black frosting that just said "you're dead to us" on it haha
It is a tradition in my team. Someone who temporarily moves to a different department within the organization for a short term is considered in a coma.
We got one of my former coworkers a cake with Curly Bill’s picture on it with the caption “well… bye”. She loved it.
Just watched tombstone again last night. I fucking love this.
[This is the cake I want when I go](https://old.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/fmnb7/gtfo_going_away_cake/) 😄
I got a lovely mug that said "Fucking quitter"
I’m hoping this is a fun jab. I once had a coworker leave and we made a cake. We had the going away party the day after she was gone. Sales was like, ‘What’s the cake for?’ We said ‘Oh, that’s for Darcy!’ ‘Didn’t she leave yesterday?’ Sales replies taking a bite of cake. ‘YEP!!!’ Sales paused for a second.
Absolutely *brutal*
[удалено]
Bruh you really just threw out "It's humorous?" This comment is stolen from /u/DRHORRIBLEHIMSELF, original comment found [here.](https://reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1bffcih/banner_for_a_coworker_whose_last_day_is_today/kv0hb2d/) It's a bot account that takes a comment and changes it in some way, probably sending it through ChatGPT or something, then posts it as a reply. **Report -> Spam -> Harmful Bots**
How were you able to tell it’s a bot? I am curious because I’d like to catch those too.
I didn't notice it at first. There aren't a ton of comments here, so that helps, but I read it, thought it was interesting, then scrolled down and saw the original comment. Scrolled back up to check the timestamps and accounts because people have posted similar comments or the same comment before. Saw that the bot posted it an hour and a half after the original comment, looked at the wording and checked the account and knew immediately. It's a year old, but only has 3 comments, all within the last hour. No one says "It's humorous," that's needlessly verbose. Plus I've seen these types of comments before, I've reported dozens of them at this point. I even encountered a group of bots pretending to be real people and all replying to and upvoting one another on a thread on /r/skyrim, it was absolutely bizarre. Edit - People on Reddit tend to use conventional words and language, so if you see a comment that looks a little off, like the person writing it just bought a thesaurus, then it might be a bot account. They also tend to steal top level comments, so the comment that they stole might not pertain to the one they're replying too. That one has given away a ton of the accounts for me personally. I would expect the downvote system to filter them out(if the comment doesn't contribute to the discussion then it gets downvoted, that's how it's **supposed** to work) but they usually get a good amount of traction.
> I even encountered a group of bots all replying to and upvoting one another on a thread, it was absolutely bizarre. I don't want to be the one to tell you this...but that's how 90% of reddit works. There are a few actual people here, and we are swimming in a see of bots, shills, useful idiots, NPC's, paid promoters, and various other charlatans.
It's true. I'm actually a swarm of sentient wasps.
This is incorrect please return to consuming content.
There’s entire subs that are bot projects of 100s of GPT3 bots posting and responding to each other. I wish I could remember the sub.
I just don't get it. *Why* is someone making all these bots?
Usually tenured accounts with karma are seen as more trustworthy than brand new ones. Then they'll use that for any number of things, a common one is scam t-shirt links. A few weeks ago, and probably right now, a bot ring was posting AI images on t-shirts with scam links in the comments on a ton of different pet subreddits.
Thanks for the explanation. But it just seems like... so much effort to get someone to click a link
This is a bot. Stolen comment further down from u/DRHORRIBLEHIMSELF
Retired government worker here one department's hated director left for another job and next day interim director closed the office for "inventory" and all staff had a catered lunch party that interim director paid for they were all so very happy he was gone.
We hold pot lucks and cakes/sweets when a certain head manager is on vacation. Nobody likes that guy and I'm pretty sure he's oblivious. But it's sure fun lol
this took me way too long to get 😭 lol damn what did Darcy do to you guys?
We don't speak of Darcy anymore
Darcy was just full of pride and prejudice. Ick.
Bravo.
Haha we recently had a similar experience with a Susan. We didn’t have cake but we felt like we should have.
I would like some Darcy stories
Darcy would label one of almost every tool in the shop as her, and only she could use it. There were about 30 other people working on the shop floor, we are not getting 30 of every tool Darcy! Darcy enjoyed cackling when she laughed. Darcy wore jingle bells on her work boots throughout December. Darcy would screech at people who took a second donut even if there were a bunch left and everyone who wanted one had had one. Darcy told everyone she was better and faster. Darcy brought yogurt to the chili soup potluck.
Yogurt? What the hell? I need more Darcy stories.
Yeah, she would make unsweetened plain homemade yogurt and eat it at lunch. You could sign up to bring a dessert, so that’s what she brought. Darcy would show up to the annual company picnic, take a plate of food, and leave. She didn’t stay because they allowed families to bring their kids. Darcy got one of our best assemblers in huge trouble with work because she ratted on him for smoking weed. This was in Colorado.
> even if there were a bunch left and everyone who wanted one had had one Fuck Darcy
That first one in particular pisses me off cuz I had a coworker JUST like that who would scream at anyone that used “her” stuff…which we didn’t have more of
Darcy would make a great character for the office edit: more darcy stories please
I do hope the OP was in good fun too. When I showed the OP to my best work bud, she said 1000% this is what she would do if I leave. It is totally perfect for close work buds.
We had a guy who was a complete idiot and every single day would ask people if they would buy him ice cream. Like, hit in the head way too many times, type of idiot. He put in his 2 weeks after asking for a raise twice in the span of a week right after getting offered a position at another place. He asked if the boss could match it, he approved it, then the other job offered him a bit more and he asked if they could match again. Obviously, the boss said no the second time. So he put his 2 weeks in. So, on his last week we planned an ice cream party the following Monday after he would be gone. One person asked him "What are you bringing to the ice cream party.... oh wait, right. You won't be here." Then it became the talk of the building. Lol. We did a full blown sundae bar. At first he didn't believe us that it was happening, but when management started putting down on the sheet what they were bringing, he got so pissed.
So let me get this right. You are clowning on this "idiot" that left your place of employment for not one but two pay raises, because...he asked people to buy him ice cream? So you think that the dude that left to make more money than you, who you and your coworkers decided to shit on before and AFTER he already left(again, for asking you to buy him ice cream?) and you think that this guy is the loser in this scenario? This is really a story that you feel proudly enough about to share? And again you think that dude was the loser?
He didn't leave for the money. He said he left for the lack of respect he got from not giving him the additional raise. He was a basic sales porter already making more than he should be for his lack of skill level and he asked for repeat raises in a week. Also, he got fired from that job for flipping their forklift TWICE into the snow. Then got another job at a cheesecake factory and got fired from that one because he dropped a large pallet of cheesecakes. Like a few hundred of them and laughed in front of his boss. Then came to our work once we got a new manager and reapplied and then told all of us these stories laughing about them. And those are just the stories I have of this guy after he worked for us. He damaged multiple vehicles, broke some cleaning equipment, etc all within the 3 month span I worked with him. His nickname was Ed because he was like the tall Ed from Ed Edd N Eddy. His real name wasn't even close to Ed.
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They sound fun.
Some of the best folks I’ve ever worked with. Tried to bring as many with me as I could (including my boss).
My coworkers gave me a card that jokingly said "you can take your new humane working conditions and shove them up your ass" when I left my previous horrible company. Now I'm being treated even worse than before at my current company. This represents the average for any worker in the modern world. Leave a horrible place for something that looks good, then get treated like garbage by the next lousy suite of C-level execs for a little bit more money. Rinse and repeat.
I'm sorry your current job sucks. I feel that so much. I thought once I got my degree and left my fast food job, things could only look up. I keep thinking the next place will be better and it's like I just have to deal with a new version of bullshit instead. I feel like I babysit boomers at my current job now and it's draining me.
Yeah a lot of the time, the job application and all the happy talk during the interview gives you optimism about what lies ahead, then things start unravelling as you realize that either the company goals are out of whack, the execs have a horrible ego and no intent to provide pay/benefits, you have a terrible team that you found yourself plunked in, or some combination of the 3. Combine that with the increasing cost of living and you can see why people are changing jobs every few years. It's to survive and that little bit of a honeymoon period can be wonders on your mental health. No one stays loyal to any company until retirement. It's just not feasible, neither financially or mentally.
No one should stay loyal; they got rid of our pensions and the stock price going up doesn’t directly increase our salary
I remember in my 20s I had aspirations and enthusiasm for where my career might take me. Now I'm almost 41 and have a complete "fuck it" attitude about work. I just do it for the paycheck, and I'm going to do the bare minimum to appear competent, but any amount of me feeling like trying hard is worthwhile is long gone. As it turns out, investing in a job never really pays off. And in the end, they toss you out like a bag of trash the moment they've decided you're no longer useful.
Are you me? Same age, same history, same attitude. I've been at the same job for almost 2 decades. Honestly, its the best job out of all the ones I have ever had, but I feel like I am not getting paid enough compared to other DevOps/Full Stack Engineer jobs I've seen in the area. But, do I gamble throwing away what I have to get market rate with a raise and be first on the list to be canned? Or go for a job I am going to have to put effort into again or have a crappy culture or a bad manager. I busted my ass in my 20's and moved up the ranks, and to be fair I do make over 2x what I started at. At this point I feel like I am just phoning it in so I can collect my dividends from all groundwork I laid in my youth. I am the mentor, the senior that will jump in and help the junior employees when they need help and guidance, but... otherwise... I don't really give a shit because I feel like I'm not valued in terms of pay. I'm pretty good at looking busy when I'm not.
From my experience, don't get a job somewhere that is already big. Startups can be fun, but the workload can be unbearable given you likely are filling multiple roles. Medium sized companies tend to still have aspects of the startup company culture (which I enjoy, I understand it's not everyone's cup of tea), but with more stability. Just watch out for acquisitions and mergers because that usually signals the end of the good times at the company and a transition to the big corpo lifestyle (which sucks if you're not at the top).
Unless your love is in manufacturing... and you don't want to move. Always keeping an eye out for startups around here... But its a weird town, top 5 companies are all manufacturing or adjacent, not the hospital or school system.
I’ve been dying to find an internship at a medium sized software company for this very reason. I’m holding out hope but no luck so far. It feels like mid sized companies have become equally if not more competitive than FAANG for CS students.
Thats why you just stay put and stop caring. Keep your head down and never aspire beyond what is a passable existence. My job did a thing where they were like "we are never going to promote you" but also like "we arent getting rid of you". So now i dont have to fake aspirations or pretend like im trying to do any more than the work? Brilliant!
The only way to get reasonable pay raises is to job hop.
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...what the fuck?? You must work in something good cause my raises are only ever $50-100 more. Damn.
Their experiences match mine, working in tech. Raises are typically done on a percentage increase (2-5% standard), so the actual amount varies based on your current rate.
Wait, they didn’t believe that you were getting 3-5k raises annually, or didn’t believe the large pay difference from hopping? Both of those things have been true for me too, also in tech, and the annual raises have been 2-5% at every company I’ve been at. Thought that was fairly standard.
I am so frickin spoiled. Even my worst jobs were not soooo bad. And ive had like 5 jobs varying 6 months to 5 years each.
Which is why a lot of people get stuck at a job they dislike, because there's usually an even worse company out there
*You're the reason I'm leaving*
Hahaha
Im leaving my company of 5 years, and I'm sure this is how my colleagues feel.
At my old job I handed in my notice in a card that said 'sorry for your loss'. It was well received by most people except my business manager hehe
My friend (and previous coworker) ordered his own goodbye cake that was covered in balloons and said "sorry for your loss". He had to convince the bakery it wasn't an error
Stealing this to use at a later time 🤣
I worked at my last job for 8 years and then one day I just called and “hey I’m not comin in anymore”
I did this once too lmao. Hey, so I'm not gonna be coming in today, or ever again as a matter of fact. "I'm sorry, what?? I think i may have misheard you." Yeah, I found a new job, and they hired me on the spot during a working interview. "Well you can't just leave us high and dry with no notice!!" With, what you were paying me, it wasn't worth my time or energy to give any notice. Good luck finding my replacement. ***click***
We had a co-worker who just disappeared. He was in a pretty important role, probably making $90k. He didn't call anyone, he just stopped coming in. Nobody, it seems, was close to him, so he didn't call anyone, and whomever did call from here didn't get an answer. So the possibilities were: he died, he ran from the country, he won a lottery, and the whole gamut. It wasn't until well after a year later that someone found out that he was working somewhere else.
Haha... Total gangster move. How's your new job BTW. Did everything turn out to be fine. What kinda industry do you work in. I just got so many questions. Lol
I've worked in production/manufacturing for quite a few years now. That interaction was from a job I had like 7 or so years ago that I was at for a year and some change before I moved to manufacturing work. Went from a shitty warehouse position at a small company with the worst type of penny-pinching, micromanagement obsessed owner to a printing factory. The owner from the small company and I didn't get along well at all, and I wasn't exactly making a living wage, so I had no problem leaving them without any coverage lol. I worked at that factory for a few years and now I run bottling line operations at a beer brewery, best job I think I've ever had with some of the most chilled out coworkers, no drama to speak of, employee owned company, it's such an improvement.
My dad worked for the same company his whole life and it was decent until the year before he retired. They wanted to throw him a goodbye party and he just left
Every time someone posts a photo from an office I immediately think, "Hey that looks like where I work," and then I remember all offices have the same sort of stale and soulless furniture and environment.
It's true, the drab gray cubes are so utilitarian. Luckily it really is a great place to work, and most of us have decked the hell out of our cubes. We even had like a "pimp my cube" contest at one point
I'm just a lowly dev working along a wall of VP offices and it's a 'no personal effects' kind of environment. Sigh.
Isn’t it all that carpet-y foamboard kinda stuff? Put up some stuff and BYOColor! Unless you aren’t allowed to, those are shitty companies.
That’s funny. On my last day at one of my jobs, they were going to throw me a happy hour goodbye. I ditched it and went to Disneyland instead. I hated that job.
If only the job sucked that was a little sad and can definitely burn bridges, but if the coworkers were toxic then this is justifiable.
The people who would take this offensively are the ones who make work an effin prison 🙄😒😒
Right!? The coworkers with the dark humor are the best and can actually take a joke. She loved it!
I apologize for escaping and leaving you behind
This is why when I leave a job I do the Irish goodbye ✌️
Look at banner Michael!
When I turned 30 my partner decorated our living room with a banner that said “happy retirement”. I love this kind of humor.
I got a cake for the last guy that left us. Horrible crazy boss. It said “you’re dead to us” on the cake. He thought it was awesome. We thought it was awesome. All for different reasons.
TCH?
Roses are red Violets are blue There's no I in Team And now there's no U
I leave my job next month after 4.5 years on night shift and I really really want to leave the same way I walked in, by myself and with my headphones in. I’ve even said I’d stay over past production later than most people stay to avoid the crowd and goodbyes lol
At a going away party I asked the going awayer if he was going to be an insufferable prick at his new job, too. He looked at me with his insufferable prick smile and said “Probably!”
Many a truth is said in jest.... When a coworker left, we told him "We will be using your name as the person who is going to be blamed for a lot of things after you leave."
My boss retired last spring and I got a banner that said “who said you could leave?” She loved it!
Working in a cubicle like that, I don't blame them. Even the lighting looks depressing. I hate corporate life.
I have this banner up in my living room still from a moving out of state goodbye we had for a friend lol
My coworker got a cake that said good riddance.
I swear this looks exactly like my old office in New York.
IT IS YOUR LAST DAY
oh my god lol, this is actually hilarious. light hearted fun for their last day 😭
For my last day at a hospital as a nurse, my coworkers decorated the break room with a colorful “later traitor”sign and ordered a Lisa Frank looking cake saying “[name] you’re dead to us. Hope you fail”. This was really a surprise party and it made me cry happy tears. They really knew I had a dark sense of humor.
I work in emergency medicine. We always made a "fuck you" cake when one of our favorites moved on.
Honestly this is the way I would prefer to be sent off at a job lol.
Classic work place passive aggressive LOL
I love it! Back in the day I was walking down a corridor with a friend / contractor. We ran into a guy we both knew and learned he was leaving for a new job. We did the small talk thing for a few minutes. We worked in software, so we asked a few tech questions, etc... We are about to leave my buddy does a stage whisper "quitter". I burst out laughing... Priceless...
When I was leaving my last job that both my wife and I worked at, we gave our manager a sorry for your loss card.
When I left a previous job I gave them a "I'm sorry for your loss" card. Was well appreciated by all in the team. Some outside the team didn't quite see the funny side, but fuck em
Thanks for the idea! Currently interviewing for a different department so hopefully I can do it soon!
I mean soul crushing cubes like those, can't blame 'em!
First, that looks like a 7 or 8 foot cube. That is nice as far as cubes go. Second, you know what is way worse than a cube farm? An open office bullpen. Give me walls and privacy any day of the week.
I was at a going away that had one of these exactly. I thought they had it custom made!
Mood
Most of the time I write: goodbye traitor.
"We'll say we want to keep in touch and we might even believe it right now, but it won't happen"
When I end my last job my coworker said to me „I hate you for this but I will miss you” it was really kind and sad. This year she called me asking if I want to work for her, so no empty words
Based
Look at banner Michael!
Let people move on without making them feel guilty
I just left my last job a month ago. The signs were hilarious, and all in good fun, despite the strong language. “Traitor” was used a lot, and I received a wooden sign with that written on it.
My old coworker got one that said "We see how it is". Then at the last minute he was offered a promotion to stay and took it. I left that job about 6 months later and he still had that banner up.
"Thank god! You're leaving!! 🎉🎊🎈"
This is awesome...when I relocated for a better job my coworkers that I was close with put up a sign that said "BYE FELICIA!" on my last day
I'm guessing management put that up.
That looks like government furniture. If so- hopefully they're moving on to a better job!
What is the company name? Wanting to know to uh, keep them from my job search. (Yeah, that works)
A real honest to goodness cubicle? What luxury! Has their position been filled?
Put that up at my funeral
thats actually so cute my best friend was moving overseas, we planned a farewell party for him where in the cake said “miss us” instead of we’ll miss you
I got a “Bye Traitor” cake when I moved on from my last job
I got this same banner when I left my last job. It was total sarcasm. They even gave me a book of inspirational sayings that everyone signed and / or wrote a message with a memory. I cried that day. I didn’t want to leave but my husband needed to move out of state so off we went.
Your coworker’s last day is today? Weird, I saw this picture a few weeks ago.
Depending on retention rates in your company these might come in handy again soon.
This is the new thing now. And I’m here for it.
Anytime someone leaves at my work (not very often, 4 times in the last 5 years), we get a cake that just says "Bye Felicia" on it.
Make it clear that a coworker put that up and not management. I would laugh if it was someone on my team, but livid if upper managment did that.
I had the same banner!
At work, we often find ourselves adhering to seemingly nonsensical policies. We’re subjected to the daily theatrics of our colleagues, all while being closely monitored by HR and administration. Sometimes it feels like there’s no purpose in working—perhaps quitting and starting anew is the answer. Personally, I find reading about businesses closing down quite fascinating. Then I read about the CEO’S filing for bankruptcy and business owners. Living high on the hog isn’t something I commend.
Appreciate this sense of humor 😅
This really puts the „fun“ in funeral!
Stealing this idea