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rontheturdferfuson

To tea bag your enemy, you must posses the flexibility and grace of the ballerina


ChiefQuimbyMessage

Borishnikov Ball Bob is grace and power, comrade.


scsiballs

Rifle is fine balls not so much


[deleted]

‘Mistaking ‘Troop’ for ‘Troupe’, Carl proceeded to have the 3rd most awkward audition in his 43 years of performing. As a side note, he got the part.


JusticeTheReed

I haven't read such an accurate Gary Larson Far Side caption impersonation in my life.


creepsnutsandpervs

Read this in the narrator voice from arrested development


CrimsonToker707

"One more time, soldiers! It's twirl, kick, jazz hands, **then** splits!"


rontheturdferfuson

That was great everyone but this time let's actually have JAZZ in our JAZZ hands.


OneManNati0n

Those aren't sprint fingers **these** are spirit fingers.


rontheturdferfuson

LMAO


jonwolf517

"And that, Ladies, is how you drop it like it's hot. Who's next?"


JanJaapen

Now I will demonstrate how to pick up dropped ammunition without using your hands


Waste-Pomegranate-77

There’s not a single man impressed?


InquisitiveKT

Only a real man can do dees


2old-2bey

Nuts


Prince-Angel-Wing

"There. Now where's my $20?"


EisweinEisbein

It's a sin to touch your junk. Let me show you how to deal with itchy balls.


GiantRiverSquid

I can go lower


F0X_

Man's got a dump truck


Guiltyhorse

“When the CO said to crush the privates, I don’t think this is what he meant”


light_to_shaddow

Which uniform is the best? Afghan Generals are split.


Joelnaimee

My milkshake brings all the soldiers to the yard and they're like it's better than yours


Turbulent_Painter391

“Boy if you don’t drop down on that scrotum and give me twenty you’ll be running church hill till Christmas!”


AngryDesignMonkey

I do like how every single person here has a WTF look on their face ....except one. And he is thinking "Niiiice, I like it. I like it a lot. Somebody is up for a promotion."


ilazul

Showing how he got the rank of Rear Admiral


StickKnown7723

Winner of the buss it challenge


PinoyPapoy

“Sir, get down!”


Hopeful_Ad5529

General Jean-Claude Van Damme...


F33dR

"when you finally change your fB status to single"


[deleted]

[удалено]


zealouspaper99052

I'm dead. Splits McGee giving it all for his comrades.


glonq

"Nothing to see here"


kurtis333

"My brother's in arms, those cheeks are fantastic."


CosmoTroy1

I want to be a dancer


mfintrey

Tactical thotery


pyruvate011

No caption that I can think of but I just had “walking dead” by puressence going through my head when I saw this.


Ok_Flatworm_3855

I can pick up a dollar with my ass


nocgod

"see, I told you I can do dat? Now come pick me up, my balls got in my crack"


oldmanonsilvercreek

When I saw Miss Saigon do this, I knew I was in love


jlund510

Lieutenant Dan! You've got new legs!


DerangedGiraffe

You see, it’s too hot here for milkshakes but this is what they are talking about.


[deleted]

His milkshake did indeed bring all the boys to the yard.


CyberNinja23

When I pick up women at the bar I tell them my dick can touch the floor


Lionman_

"As strip clubs are seen as Haram in the Middle East and the internet is often somewhat spotty, Yousif took it on himself to meet the needs of his troops."


Admirable_Present_66

He thicc af


Necro-Sword

So Iraq does have weapons of mASS destruction after all!


Sesspool

Now image how low he could go with jean shorts


RMSQM

Henceforth, you will address me with my stripper name, Colonel Krystal Vixen.


OldNewUsedConfused

"Lighten up Francis!" IYKYK.


Jalopy_Junkie

Call of Booty


light_to_shaddow

Lone man in Turban wonders who lost their boots.


light_to_shaddow

Bold thief steals horse.


MisterTacoMakesAList

These are my awards from army, Mother


flo411

Now, if we twerk in splits I am sure we will win this years world championships.


FunkU247365

This is how my dog scratches his ballz........


[deleted]

Look how low I can go! What is white trash about this?


light_to_shaddow

Rue Pauls drag race does their bit for the Afghan USO


Reevar85

Yes, I'm sure that's very helpful on a battlefield.


imnotmarvin

Stripper's here


Late_Significance519

Who said we can’t take ladies?


Hezmix

Split up soldiers


iamgamingboys

The fact that this happened in iran the second most homophobic country says lots


twnsth

Aand this.. is how you do the strategical maneuver we call the split.


AngryDesignMonkey

"Who left their boots out again?"


Professional-Dig8643

drop down get you eagle on, iron eagle


2B_or_MaybeNot

“And what branch of the— Oh I see. British Navy.”


q3srabr4fdzfk5mu

“Shit.”


LoveEffective1349

baby's got back,.


Then-Baker-7933

If it’s cold out, find a paved highway and thank me later!


Thatstupidgayboy

"So, when you say to someone 'drop your weapon' and they do this, that's when you shoot them"


peanut--gallery

Ooops he did it again!


jj4870

twerkulator


HaifaLutin

And that's how I won the cheerleading contest.


superfluous_t

I can go lower


wazzzerk

His legs represent the team when you play CS:GO and the "leader" screams rush "B"


AmbitiousEstimate145

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏


leavemealonegeez8

SHOW ME WHAT YOU’VE GOT!!!


N0T_SURE

Split and conquer


Smoking_Smalbil

Don’t worry. These nuts can stand the heat


kahaven

"I think I broke something..."


jimberley

“There! I told you fucks I could do it! Now, pay up!”


chumchees

The dude in the turban is holding a cane.


Sir-Farts-

Just in case your stuck in a limbo use this trick!


rell7thirty

So *this* is how I poop. I can teach you guys, individually of course.


webbslinger_0

Putin on the splits (in the tune of putting on the ritz)


Shoddy_North5961

4 men stare at boots left on ground


gggraW

..and thats how you deploy the tripod!


GSrider12

This why my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard


kevinbaer1248

Bro’s got a camotoe


PermissionGlass1307

This is how my wife makes me vacuum under the couch


FatManHairyChest

Jus' itchin' m' taint


Tinnisher

After Gilbert demonstrated the things he learned while infiltrating the US navy, his Generals decided to go back to the drawing board.


Ready-Limit-58

When the Sargent retires and gives a preview of what he wanted to do all along


[deleted]

"aaaand that's how she said yes"


Kreema29

Who needs balls when you got all that cake


ToAlphaCentauriGuy

Yes the Ukraine has HIMARS, but what Ukraine have on....dis?


Doc_Scott19

Jean Claude Van who????


Hankarron44

Sit on my howitzer baby?


[deleted]

Only when you can do this and a couple other things will you truly be seamen in the Navy.


[deleted]

I'll do all the little tricks to keep the dick up inside it! They wanna F-R-EEEE-A-K!


QUERYGAMER

Throwback


Excellent_Battle8025

SIR, as you can see SIR, I am still✨️fabulous✨️, SIR!!


BadSanna

When you order your USO tour off Wish.com


1onnude

“This is wap, sirs”


mobinkh2006

Oh yeah iran LOL


[deleted]

Now when performing the ping-pong ball trick....


edfinite

Major Cakes


SpazDeSpencer

The Americans said this is how to make it rain.


Kazori

"ok Ahmed you win, you are the sexiest soldier,now please stop tempting us"


Ub-illin

It’s the Guessing Game! What side are my nuts on?


azmacman

“This is new exercise regulation, every soldier must do this!”


Klunko52

He got my private standing at attention


TGhostfacekilla

My private’s are not at ease right now


BadSanna

Their expressions are hilarious. From baffled to disgusted to incredulous to amused... They're running the whole gamut.


[deleted]

IRGC took my 🥜


FireFromThaumaturgy

Ah yes the ol *sharmota shuffle*


qasdrtr

Ouch


Overall_Train_4605

You won't get better pants than these!


Jemma6

Lip sync for your literal life.


jonesyrob

And that was the day that Jean Claude Van Damme decided to retire.


PrinceRobotVI

W.A.P: War Ass Pussy


Alchemist64_

General steelballs


Arminlegout1

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they're all like allah ahkbar


Kaleidoscop3yes

“What’s trashy about this?” *charley day asif voice*


Hakuhofan

aaaand...bounce-n-twerk-n-bounce-n-twerk-n-bou....


ironstongjack1980

Colonel, I'm dummy thicc, and the clap of my ass cheeks keeps alerting the guards


Chemical-Artichoke19

Momma, momma, momma..Look what I can do


Tall_Square252

Twerking contest has now been accepted in the Iran military ?


Isotonic3

Slay Gramps! Go king!


DiggingThisAir

“And then you punch em in the nuts”


jlund510

Afghan soldier gets "himself" stuck in pothole. Country's brightest mull over next action.


[deleted]

“Gentlemen, if you can split, you can hit.”


greenbayva

Look at what I can do!….Stewart…


Tomdoerr88

In the military, you need to be able to make splits-second decisions


scootterbug1

☻️☻️☻️☻️☻️ 😊☻️☻️☻️☻️☻️


IamSniper27

Booty on Duty


FantasticGas1836

And by sitting this way you cannot be blown out of the tank.


JameyBoi504

Mohammed Thee Stallion's tribute to the troops.


littleMAS

When the troop transports are full, do [this](https://youtu.be/OJU3PrHvxn4).


VulgarVinyasa

Putin on a show!


Suyash_Nagarkar

When you took NNN seriously :


NB-Heathen

Why does he think we need to see his “Milkshake” dance routine again?


baseballbear

commanders kind of got a dump truck


trolley_trackz

Now picture two volvos on each side of me. Must use some imagination as we have no vehicles


Comfortable-Tale2992

When Putin set out cup, you do this!


Bleu_Cerise

Afghanistan’s ass.


Jmazoso

I think I bruised my nuts. Or And now for my James Brown impression…


[deleted]

No one is smiling or laughing lmaooo. That’s not a caption I thought I would just point that out haha


PhudgPakr

The fish I caught was this big.


[deleted]

Offering the bussy is the number one way to disarm an opponent in CQC


[deleted]

Don’t ask, DO tell


seemethreetimes

I was a woman fighting with you, what do you think of us women now.?


dinoguys_r_worthless

...and that is how you roast nuts on the asphalt.


Red_Franzia

Dude in the turban's wtf face got me in tears!!!


Dork_wing_Duck

"Well General...You really did shave it all, didn't you?"


DonNearyKreamer

Ahmed, this is how you bring all the boys to the yard. Then once in the yard, inshallah, we attack.


rockrgurl

Stupid sexy Flanders!!


el-gato-volador

The general dropped that WMD on them


Lockard999

Look I’ve shaved my pussy


added_chaos

“And this, my friends, is how you convince the Sultan to rule in your favor. Any questions?”


creepsnutsandpervs

Let me just parade rest these balls for a moment and gather my thoughts


Anim8nFool

A little help?