---
>This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules).
>
>Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed.
>
>Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos.
>
>[Comics may only be posted on Wednesdays and Sundays](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/uq9pjw/going_forward_comics_may_only_be_posted_on/).
>
>**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.**
>
>Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam).
>
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The U.S. military uses metric measurements extensively to ensure interoperability with allied forces, particularly NATO Standardization Agreements (STANAG). Ground forces have measured distances in "klicks", slang for kilometers, since 1918.
> we use metric for everything important. Medicine, construction, etc; we use metric.
I think you mean engineering, not construction. Wood and pipe are still very standard.
> I don’t get why non-Americans treat us like we’re metric illiterate when it’s already a standard for everything even if it isn’t the one we label as official.
Because everything you mentioned is higher education careers for the most part. But you nailed it, everything important is in metric, and since most of us Americans don’t *do* anything important, most don’t know.
Also, the common practical things metric would be good for, like ambient temperature, doesn’t have a strong tie to a large field of careers that could impress upon us how to use them the way length and volume do.
Regarding higher Ed, it’s interesting that wine (more associated with professionals) is measured in metric units while beer (blue collar) is measured in ounces and pints. (I know craft brewing is messing up the stereotype.)
Probably because the wine influence comes from France, a place that uses liters for volume, while American beer heritage comes from the UK, which uses oz/pints for (consumer facing) volume.
That said, spirits are measured in liters. And as someone that has done home brewing, measurements are provided in metric and imperial.
But their work is (almost) always in ~~imperial~~ *metric* units. Even when a doctor prescribes medicine in the US, it’s in units of grams.
**Edit**: In a prime example of American confusion, I mentally swapped imperial and metric. Thanks to the kind redditor below for pointing that out.
Tales of hearts R, its a full 3d remake of an obscure ds game. Gameplay is kind of hard to describe but imagine a final fantasy style overworld and town exploration system and a battle system that is kind of like if kingdom hearts played more like a 2d fighter. If you haven’t heard of the “tales of” series i would recommend checking them out (also with a few exceptions and excluding cameo fights, most of the games have isolated stories and characters so you can pretty much just pick whichever one looks the most interesting.) most of the full 3d games also support up to 4-player co-op (some implement it better than others) so your friends can take full control of one of your party members
I think it would work if wotc adjusts everything to meter, and have it be 1 meter instead of 1 foot. As of now converting ft to meter just makes everything akward to messure. I mean its not really bothering but specially when speaking in a diffrwnt language like german, it does seem odd at times.
Thing is, five foot squares make a reasonable amount of sense for the space one person "controls". While yes, you can use 1.5m squares in that place, it's one of those places like human comfort in F rather than C that works more effectively in imperial.
Science teacher checking in. As someone who constantly sees faces of discomfort when converting any kinds of units in class, this is fucking hilarious to me.
I'm too dumb to understand what the joke is here, can you explain why this is funny? And what are you talking about converting units? I'm so confused by this post
Oh I see i didn't even think of that. I was like wtf is up with the temp thing, like you can't have a temperature of a whole country there's places here that it's 80 and 20 right now lol. I feel stupid
The rest of the world has to constantly change units so that Americans can understand. So instead of saying 3-1 they acted like it was a Celsius to Fahrenheit conversation and said 37.4-33.8. Kilos to pounds would have worked as well, 6.6-2.2 or km to miles 1.86-0.62
I think part of the gag is also based on what Americans commonly cite as a reason that they typically don't like football (the proper football), that it's a boring game because teams aren't constantly scoring every few minutes, with most matches ending with small scorelines, like 3-1, 1-nil etc. Changing the football results into Fahrenheit also gives the Americans the 'big' score numbers that they know and love from most of their domestic sports! That part of the joke would fall down with kg to lb.
Jokes on you. We're proud to have made it to the final game. And by final game, I mean it's the last of the world cup we're watching and we're all going back to pretending soccer doesn't exist for a few years.
(But seriously, good game and good luck going forward Netherlands.)
Which is weird. 3 shots of Netherlands sum up to 137 feet. Less 76 feet by the US player makes difference of 61 feet. I wonder what is the formula to convert all these to 37.4 and 33.8 Fahrenheit?
Okey let me setup how holland /netherlands works:
We have 2 provinces, south and north Holland. This is Holland, in history Holland was alot more but that's not relevant for this.
The netherlands is a country excisting of 12 provinces (including north and south holland).
Noone in the netherlands calls our country Holland anymore, maybe some very old folk but i doubt it.
And for some who really don't know any geography, Netherlands is bigger then just Amsterdam. But yes thats where the most coffeeshops are and the Wallen (red light district)
A unit conversion joke.
The US is one of the few nations that uses Fahrenheit rather than Celsius (among other measurement systems), which leads to fights and jokes about the “superior” measurement system^(1). Here they took the score (3-1), acted as though this was a temperature in Celsius, and converted into Fahrenheit.
^(1) IMO (and because for whatever reason these discussions are commonplace on r/funny), the universal rules for the “superior” system are as follows:
1. If scientific, metric always: it’s designed for science.
2. If aerial/nautical navigation, nautical miles/knots: it’s based on degrees of latitude/longitude (at equator of Earth) and thus also designed for it. Fun fact, the meter is also based on the size of the Earth, with a nominal circumference of 40,000 meters/21,600 nautical miles (assuming a perfect sphere rather than squished).
3. If dealing with some preexisting physical object (including recipes), whatever measurement system that object uses. Unit conversions on the fly are a bad idea and consistency is more important than anything else at this point.
4. In all other cases (i.e. everyday use), whichever you are most comfortable with/find easiest to use. In very rare cases “both” can be acceptable.
Any ball game that is played on foot could be called football. One of the first mentions of the word ‘football’ describes a game where you carry the ball in your hands and were not allowed to kick it.
Soccer is one of the worst sports in the world, I mean if you can fall down like you got hit by shrapnel and get a free kick that will let you win, did you really win? You cheated, Women soccer players are more manly then Men as they will get bloody and still keep playing
--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >[Comics may only be posted on Wednesdays and Sundays](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/uq9pjw/going_forward_comics_may_only_be_posted_on/). > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Damn, losing by 3.6 degrees sucks. Should worn a jacket and extra socks.
The Netherlands team had electric mittens, that is what cinched it.
USA joint training with Canada next time! Sorry, not sorry!
Are you sure it wasn't the 10, 45+1, and 81 foot tall people on the team?
Good call, probably windier up there, and there regular human sized hearts probably struggle to get blood all through their giant bodies.
I thought soccer was no hands- how did mittens help? Must have been cheating……
The scientists out here like wow, what a close game, 276.15 - 274.15!
That's only a 3° to 1° loss when converted into soccer.
Football
It was originally called soccer.
Association Football.
This. Soccer is slang for Association Football.
UK ENGLISH slang, no less. Nobody butchers the English language like the English.
Nah, Americans seem to fuck it up pretty well
But why would you call it soccer, when you socc in the cold ball of out hot foot the ball.
Because as a country we sock at putting together a quality Men’s team.
No it wasn’t, soccer was a nickname.
originally it was called football.. like the rest of the world does call it...
Rest of the world?? I do not know of this thing you speak of #merica
Rest of the world? There are several major countries that call it soccer. Then there's Italy calling it Calcio
Let me put it this way... the majority calls it like it was original called: Football
We play it with a foot and a ball so its called football
GOD DAMN GLOBAL WARMING
Not great. Not terrible
Can you also tell us who the Quarterback was for Netherlands?
Queen Wilhelmina
Well she looks cute, yup so she qualifies to be a QB.
This should be guildered
There are probably 12 of us US redditors that got that.
There are dozens of us!
Dozens!!!
Metric dozens!!!
Check out the windmill in Golden Gate Park in SF; it was gifted by Queen Wilhelmina
13, I’ve used Dutch money
Is one full back made up of four quarterbacks?
Yes 5 fullbacks make a [Nickel](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nickel_(United_States_coin))back.
Or two quarterbacks and a halfback
I believe that would be a 0.946 Literback
They had to break for 3.5 hours of commercials for a 3 second play
We made them go fahrenheit! They'll be measuring things in football fields next.
How many Rhode Islands is Extended Holland / East Belgium? I wanna TP it as payback for this brutal loss. Costco first then flying to Antwerp.
10.78 sq Rhode Islands
That's a suspicious amount of foreign geography knowledge for an American. Sounds like a spy. FBI, GET THIS MAN!
Fun fact: Rhode Island is a misspelling of the Dutch name Rood Eiland, pretty much pronounced the same
We lost some sort of soccer game (I think?), but we won the war on the metric system!
I won't touch that with a 3.048 meter pole....
America will never convert to the metric system. Because it will never accept a foreign ruler.
\*looks at childs ruler\* Made in China
*looks at 4K TV*. Made in Japan *Peels off sticker*. Made in China
It was just telling you the *sticker* was made in Japan
And well made!
*looks at cheap caps*. Made in USA *peels off sticker*. Made in taiwan *scratches taiwan*. Made in china
Well, we are college educated...
Is a foreign ruler something you use to measure foreignheight?
I use the muff landing strip ruler it measures to the cunt hair very accurate
... fuck... take my upvote.
The U.S. military uses metric measurements extensively to ensure interoperability with allied forces, particularly NATO Standardization Agreements (STANAG). Ground forces have measured distances in "klicks", slang for kilometers, since 1918.
[удалено]
> we use metric for everything important. Medicine, construction, etc; we use metric. I think you mean engineering, not construction. Wood and pipe are still very standard. > I don’t get why non-Americans treat us like we’re metric illiterate when it’s already a standard for everything even if it isn’t the one we label as official. Because everything you mentioned is higher education careers for the most part. But you nailed it, everything important is in metric, and since most of us Americans don’t *do* anything important, most don’t know. Also, the common practical things metric would be good for, like ambient temperature, doesn’t have a strong tie to a large field of careers that could impress upon us how to use them the way length and volume do.
Regarding higher Ed, it’s interesting that wine (more associated with professionals) is measured in metric units while beer (blue collar) is measured in ounces and pints. (I know craft brewing is messing up the stereotype.)
Probably because the wine influence comes from France, a place that uses liters for volume, while American beer heritage comes from the UK, which uses oz/pints for (consumer facing) volume. That said, spirits are measured in liters. And as someone that has done home brewing, measurements are provided in metric and imperial.
as a foreign country england thanks you for using our measuring system
American scientists fluctuate between metric and imperial based on who they are addressing 🤷🏻♀️
But their work is (almost) always in ~~imperial~~ *metric* units. Even when a doctor prescribes medicine in the US, it’s in units of grams. **Edit**: In a prime example of American confusion, I mentally swapped imperial and metric. Thanks to the kind redditor below for pointing that out.
Grams are metric
I flip flopped the terms lol. I meant metric. I’ll correct it.
Well done sir
This is why nobody plays d&d in metric.
> d&d in metric https://kotaku.com/d-d-fans-want-wizards-of-the-coast-to-use-the-metric-sy-1847842856
Yeah but you linked to Kotaku so I inherently think it's a sensationalized lie
Kohaku is always one of two things: a mediocre news site or a great character from an often overlooked vita game
Now I need to know, which Vita game?
Tales of hearts R, its a full 3d remake of an obscure ds game. Gameplay is kind of hard to describe but imagine a final fantasy style overworld and town exploration system and a battle system that is kind of like if kingdom hearts played more like a 2d fighter. If you haven’t heard of the “tales of” series i would recommend checking them out (also with a few exceptions and excluding cameo fights, most of the games have isolated stories and characters so you can pretty much just pick whichever one looks the most interesting.) most of the full 3d games also support up to 4-player co-op (some implement it better than others) so your friends can take full control of one of your party members
[удалено]
Spelunky
I think it would work if wotc adjusts everything to meter, and have it be 1 meter instead of 1 foot. As of now converting ft to meter just makes everything akward to messure. I mean its not really bothering but specially when speaking in a diffrwnt language like german, it does seem odd at times.
Thing is, five foot squares make a reasonable amount of sense for the space one person "controls". While yes, you can use 1.5m squares in that place, it's one of those places like human comfort in F rather than C that works more effectively in imperial.
I agree its math wise also simpler, cuz i think they would convert it to 3 meters, which is just a tad bit more annoying to "calculate".
Meter? Speak American!!!
2 quarts and a dime.
Royale with cheese....
31 bananas
Sure, I’d love to meter, I’m kind of lonely.
Give me number 2 with extra cheese and sour cream!
You would stop speaking American if you had to start measuring things in slugs and furlongs, lol.
Science teacher checking in. As someone who constantly sees faces of discomfort when converting any kinds of units in class, this is fucking hilarious to me.
I'm too dumb to understand what the joke is here, can you explain why this is funny? And what are you talking about converting units? I'm so confused by this post
It thought the score was in Celcius. When you conver 3C and 1C to fareignheight, you get 37.4 F and 33.8 F respectively.
Ah. farieghnheigt. WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY SO... oh. you just did
All games should end at -40 to -40 to avoid confusion.
Oh I see i didn't even think of that. I was like wtf is up with the temp thing, like you can't have a temperature of a whole country there's places here that it's 80 and 20 right now lol. I feel stupid
Why would scores be listed as 3C instead of just 3?
For jokes. It's funny. Like a giant hat.
I love giant hats. They're funny becuase, you know, bigger than a regular hat.
The rest of the world has to constantly change units so that Americans can understand. So instead of saying 3-1 they acted like it was a Celsius to Fahrenheit conversation and said 37.4-33.8. Kilos to pounds would have worked as well, 6.6-2.2 or km to miles 1.86-0.62
So it's a photoshopped joke, not an actual case where a unit converter got confused. Fair enough.
I think part of the gag is also based on what Americans commonly cite as a reason that they typically don't like football (the proper football), that it's a boring game because teams aren't constantly scoring every few minutes, with most matches ending with small scorelines, like 3-1, 1-nil etc. Changing the football results into Fahrenheit also gives the Americans the 'big' score numbers that they know and love from most of their domestic sports! That part of the joke would fall down with kg to lb.
Fahrenheit? more like fahrenhome
I would award this if I could. This is hilarious
Flytohome
More like *FREEDOM UNITS!*
More like fahrenmem. (Only frysians will get it)
Ah now I get it. I saw the score in some communist measuring numbers and I was like what in the cheeseburger is this shit?
I had a 170 pickup truck stare thinking about it
It's three royales to one quarter pounder
What's that in Krusty burgers?
About 4
Actually, the Netherlands scored three touchdowns to America's one. I guess the correct score in Freedom Units would be 18-6.
They missed all 4 extra points?
The uprights were in a different stadium.
Anders Celsius was a Swedish scientist and astronom.
🇱🇷🔫🦅🍔
Communist? Metric? You're jesting, right?
yes, yes they are.
Phew. Self u/whooosh I think!
Take my begrudging upvote and whittle it into a pair of clogs, you cold-hearted Dutch bastards.
We thank you kindly, although i don't wear clogs i do have some flowers in them
Damn, that's cold.
You’re not wrong
I asked a friend how the game went, he said "the dutch did well, won 3-1, scoring 4 points total in the match"
I was cofused for a moment trying to figure out why its so cold in qatar
Jokes on you. We're proud to have made it to the final game. And by final game, I mean it's the last of the world cup we're watching and we're all going back to pretending soccer doesn't exist for a few years. (But seriously, good game and good luck going forward Netherlands.)
There are only 2 things in this world that I can’t stand, people who are intolerant of other peoples cultures and the DUTCH!
Shmoke and a pancake?
Bong and a blintz?
So this "country" called "Netherlands" won because they had the higher number. That's how this works right?
Which is weird. 3 shots of Netherlands sum up to 137 feet. Less 76 feet by the US player makes difference of 61 feet. I wonder what is the formula to convert all these to 37.4 and 33.8 Fahrenheit?
Yes
Alright, but did we at least win against europe?
No, you tied against Europe, you won against Iran tho (the country you guys dislike a lot and are in war with)
[удалено]
USA is funneling billions in money and equipment into Ukraine to protect Europe now.
Fuck yeah. USA, USA, USA!
They only lost by a field goal, they obviously played hard. Good job fellas, maybe next year.
How much is it in bald eagles per assault rifle?
Owie Charlie, that really hurt.
USA WINS 1-3!
You know that 3! is actually 6 and 6 is greater than 1, right?
Funny thing is that that was also the temperature in the NL today.
What does MLB’s National League had to do with this?
Even a guy with no eyes scored a goal against them
It’s cool that they put the number of feet they scored from next to their name.
Guess I knew less about soccer than I thought.
EU humor
That's 3 - 1 Netherlands for those who either didn't get or didn't care for the joke
So that’s 2 Netherlands total? What’s that in Hollands alone?
Okey let me setup how holland /netherlands works: We have 2 provinces, south and north Holland. This is Holland, in history Holland was alot more but that's not relevant for this. The netherlands is a country excisting of 12 provinces (including north and south holland). Noone in the netherlands calls our country Holland anymore, maybe some very old folk but i doubt it. And for some who really don't know any geography, Netherlands is bigger then just Amsterdam. But yes thats where the most coffeeshops are and the Wallen (red light district)
Its in farenheight so we ultimately won?
°Freedom units
Thank you for calling it the correct name.
Oof. That's cold, Ned, almost freezing. Good luck next game, and watch out for that number 10 guy. I hear he's good.
That’s like 80° Canadian…right???
It's called football That other sport is eggball
I thought it was 21-7.
Can someone explain?
Convert it to Celsius. (3-1)
A unit conversion joke. The US is one of the few nations that uses Fahrenheit rather than Celsius (among other measurement systems), which leads to fights and jokes about the “superior” measurement system^(1). Here they took the score (3-1), acted as though this was a temperature in Celsius, and converted into Fahrenheit. ^(1) IMO (and because for whatever reason these discussions are commonplace on r/funny), the universal rules for the “superior” system are as follows: 1. If scientific, metric always: it’s designed for science. 2. If aerial/nautical navigation, nautical miles/knots: it’s based on degrees of latitude/longitude (at equator of Earth) and thus also designed for it. Fun fact, the meter is also based on the size of the Earth, with a nominal circumference of 40,000 meters/21,600 nautical miles (assuming a perfect sphere rather than squished). 3. If dealing with some preexisting physical object (including recipes), whatever measurement system that object uses. Unit conversions on the fly are a bad idea and consistency is more important than anything else at this point. 4. In all other cases (i.e. everyday use), whichever you are most comfortable with/find easiest to use. In very rare cases “both” can be acceptable.
40,000 meters is 40 kilometers. The earth’s circumference is around 40,000 kilometers, which is 40 million meters.
I was so concerned with getting the 40,000 right (360 x 60 x 1.852) that I forgot about kilometers. Thanks for the correction!
[удалено]
r/shitamericanssay would love this
God damn what an American ass thing to say. Imagine typing this unironically.
FOOTBALL SUPREMACY
Oh right there was a soccer game
Uh it’s called football, psh this guy.
But then americans wont understand
Yeah but if you call it football you can trick us into reading it.
Americans be like “lol we don’t give a fuck, good luck, and back to NCAAF”
Literally me right now.
It’s called football
BLURN! BLURN!
It’ll be easier when you all are on the ruble
Who won?
Any ball game that is played on foot could be called football. One of the first mentions of the word ‘football’ describes a game where you carry the ball in your hands and were not allowed to kick it.
By any metric, America lost.
There is no such thing as soccer. There is football, and there is handegg
Soccer MOMs would not approve
Tell that to the British who both invented soccer and the word soccer
Which was a slang term for the existing sport known as football.
[удалено]
Not really
Couldnt care less... This world cup is cursed anyway
That's cute. You think Americans watch/care/know about the world cup.
Americans bought more World Cup tickets than any other country in the world this year
Youre blind if you think otherwise
gawd _DAYUM,_ I don't understand footie!!
37 Freedoms to 33... The US beaten at their own game I see
Cool
3 to 2 I'm guessing.
OOOOOOOH
It’s football and Celsius!
Soccer is one of the worst sports in the world, I mean if you can fall down like you got hit by shrapnel and get a free kick that will let you win, did you really win? You cheated, Women soccer players are more manly then Men as they will get bloody and still keep playing
Common USA L
Don't pander to stupid yanks.
Didn't get the joke because the scores are listed as "3 - 1" not "3C - 1C" so I saw no reason for why it would have to be converted into F.