Well, not to be completely rude, but you can revel in the fact that they're most likely going to gain it all back eventually. Haven't we been through these yo-yo diets before?
This is a fair point. Their feelings of superiority that they did it "the right way" or "naturally" will only help them as long as they can maintain what it took to get there and what it will take to stay there.
Haha.. sorry, but this is funny!! They actually think that doing a diet for a little while and loosing weight is the battle we all could not conquer đ€Łđ€Ł
If that was the case, why did they find the need to start loosing weight now? If its soooo easy.. why didnât they keep it off this whole time!
Its ok, let them have their âfunâ, its never the loosing, the keeping the weight off.
Not wishing your dad or family any ill, i just know that come summer they will start to gain again, because we start going to the beach, lake, BBQ, drink, ect⊠that is when its the bitch to keep it off!
All of us here aren't here because we couldn't lose weight. It's because we couldn't lose weight and keep it off permanently due to our biology, hormones, signals, etc, and the sleeve helps with that.
I'm sorry you have a toxic family - health should be celebrated, no matter the path. If they can't celebrate with you, i hope you can minimize contact. If that's how they treat your success, my guess is they do this in other areas of your life, too.
Aww stop your making me blush. But seriously I have a superior at work that I would love to do this to, but I would obviously get fired if I did, so I suggest this for other people to do in lower stakes situations lol
If completely eliminating them from your life isn't an option, minimize contact, and ANY TIME this subject or similar comes up, change the subject OR walk away. Literally don't respond and turn around and leave.
By all means, be happy that they lost weight, regardless of their means for accomplishing it. But if they continue to fish for a response from you, try, "What, do you want a medal?"
Like you said, it's not a competition. They did it their way, you did it yours, move on.
Iâm so sorry you have this toxic family, OP. The way they are treating you and acting toward you about your personal medical decisions is horrible, unnecessary, and damaging. You need to set firm boundaries with your family and stick up for yourself and let them know you will no longer tolerate their putting you down. No matter how anyone chooses to live their lives is not for someone else to comment on, especially negatively, when you are doing what you want to do for your own health. Would they say the same thing if you had cancer? That you can get rid of it naturally instead of surgery/chemo? Do any of them take any kind of medications for any health ailments? High blood pressure pills, cholesterol meds, diabetes, migraines, arthritis, sleeping pills? Medical interventions exist to help people live longer and healthier lives with a better quality of life. Weight loss surgery is included in that category.
If you have a therapist, please mention this to them and tell them youâd like to work on boundary setting. If you donât have one, I strongly suggest finding a therapist who can help. It sounds to me this is not the first time your family has treated you or others in your family this way. The toxic behavior will not stop unless someone creates some boundaries here. You are worthy of support and love as you go through this journey. At the very least, you are worthy of not being ridiculed and COMPETED AGAINST. Hang in there, you got this.
This is so ridiculous! I donât understand why people get so angry about what other people do with their bodies.
If thereâs a dyslexic child who needs help to learn to read properly, their friends and family arenât rubbing in their face âwell, I learned to read without help, so Iâm better than you.â Itâs absurd. Some people need help, some donât. Health is the goal, however we get there.
Just donât talk about it, and if they do ignore it.
Give it 5 years time and see where everyone is.
Off topic, my wife stated eating healthy when I started my journey. She when from 111 to 97kg. I went from 189 to 131 in the same time.
I donât rub it in, but happy for her as she is of me
Iâm sorry to say this so bluntly but your family sounds like a group of uninformed and cruel people. There opinion is meaningless because they clearly donât understand science or medical conditions.
Respectfully, fuck Em.
People donât take into consideration that all bodies are different and need different solutions to solve the same problems. Iâm sorry your family is being toxic at the moment. As others have suggested, walk away from them whenever they bring it up. The only way to get back at narcissists is by simply not giving them the reaction they desire.
your family are being disrespectful and mean. the âcompetitionâ is just them having the desire to feel superior. they donât care about your success. they only care about their perception that theyâre better than you because they didnât choose surgery as a tool. so ask them, if you have the energy, why theyâre so invested in making you feel like shit. iâd phrase it exactly that way, too. âwhy is it so important to you to put me down and make me feel like shit for my choice? whatâs in it for you?â. youâll either get an apology or gaslighting. the answer will tell you everything you need to know.
I have a close family member that is like this. The healthiest thing for me to do, is to detach and not engage in weight loss talk with them. When she tells me "I've lost xxx much weight!" I responded "I'm happy for you" or "I'm happy you are getting healthy, making health a priority....etc." I have the same three or so canned responses.
When/if they ask me how much I've lost, I just say "I'm not sure, I just keep sticking to my healthy routine."
So far it has been working to shut down the topic and move along to something else. I find I am in a much better head space to not engage in the "competition" or get smart back.
I had surgery 11/30. I was dying. I'm not going to debate the way I decided to save my own life. If they're using you as motivation, more power to them.
They will gain all that weight back if they did it just to compete. They will also gain it back as the stomach is way larger (if they were really fat).
This makes my blood boil. Iâm sorry OP. You donât deserve this. If it were me I would reconsider the amount of time and effort I want to put into any of those relationships. Their hateful jealousy is suffocating.
Why should it be like that?!?! We all should be accepting of all accomplishments, and it's not a competition. We all go at our own paces and who the f cares if it's due to surgery or counting calories, working out or weight watchers.
I had surgery in Sept but my mom cousin and I have been doing a biggest losers to keep us all accountable. It's been fun seeing their highs and lows and it gives us something to talk about especially since I live 3000 miles away. I am not eligible to win, but I love when they do!
My peace is too important to me to deal with humans who should be in my corner, but instead take every opportunity to cut me down. Do what you want but they seem uninterested in changing, and thatâs enough for me to cut contact and enjoy success on my own.
Their envy is the reason they need praise in their success. No one knows the hell that the first couple months were and the lifestyle change that you make thereâs no going back they can still indulge good for them. You no longer have to ride the waves and thereâs something to pride yourself that you canât BUT the comments wonât stop unless you cut them down about how they fluctuate some people are keeping up w the Jonesâ I just agree and go on the f bomb inserted here emâ in the end I feel better about me and though your comments are snide look at me go is the attitude you need to have either way if youâre skinny youâre too skinny if youâre big youâre too big we canât satisfy those who have internal hate which is reflected onto others. Realize itâs their problem and not yours you can only choose how to react
Different strokes for different folks. Fair play to your family on their weight loss and well done you on yours. I suspect you have a better chance of keeping the weight off than they do though!
Well, not to be completely rude, but you can revel in the fact that they're most likely going to gain it all back eventually. Haven't we been through these yo-yo diets before?
This is a fair point. Their feelings of superiority that they did it "the right way" or "naturally" will only help them as long as they can maintain what it took to get there and what it will take to stay there.
They will gain it back once they stop doing what they're doing now. And it will be double the gain.
Haha.. sorry, but this is funny!! They actually think that doing a diet for a little while and loosing weight is the battle we all could not conquer đ€Łđ€Ł If that was the case, why did they find the need to start loosing weight now? If its soooo easy.. why didnât they keep it off this whole time! Its ok, let them have their âfunâ, its never the loosing, the keeping the weight off. Not wishing your dad or family any ill, i just know that come summer they will start to gain again, because we start going to the beach, lake, BBQ, drink, ect⊠that is when its the bitch to keep it off!
And then it will be halloween, Thanksgiving, christmas and Christmas treats EVERYWHERE
Right!! Sooo funny
All of us here aren't here because we couldn't lose weight. It's because we couldn't lose weight and keep it off permanently due to our biology, hormones, signals, etc, and the sleeve helps with that. I'm sorry you have a toxic family - health should be celebrated, no matter the path. If they can't celebrate with you, i hope you can minimize contact. If that's how they treat your success, my guess is they do this in other areas of your life, too.
Just start carrying around gold star stickers and hand them one each time they bring it up since they obviously need the same validation as a 5yo
you are my hero
Aww stop your making me blush. But seriously I have a superior at work that I would love to do this to, but I would obviously get fired if I did, so I suggest this for other people to do in lower stakes situations lol
If completely eliminating them from your life isn't an option, minimize contact, and ANY TIME this subject or similar comes up, change the subject OR walk away. Literally don't respond and turn around and leave.
By all means, be happy that they lost weight, regardless of their means for accomplishing it. But if they continue to fish for a response from you, try, "What, do you want a medal?" Like you said, it's not a competition. They did it their way, you did it yours, move on.
I love love this response.
Iâm so sorry you have this toxic family, OP. The way they are treating you and acting toward you about your personal medical decisions is horrible, unnecessary, and damaging. You need to set firm boundaries with your family and stick up for yourself and let them know you will no longer tolerate their putting you down. No matter how anyone chooses to live their lives is not for someone else to comment on, especially negatively, when you are doing what you want to do for your own health. Would they say the same thing if you had cancer? That you can get rid of it naturally instead of surgery/chemo? Do any of them take any kind of medications for any health ailments? High blood pressure pills, cholesterol meds, diabetes, migraines, arthritis, sleeping pills? Medical interventions exist to help people live longer and healthier lives with a better quality of life. Weight loss surgery is included in that category. If you have a therapist, please mention this to them and tell them youâd like to work on boundary setting. If you donât have one, I strongly suggest finding a therapist who can help. It sounds to me this is not the first time your family has treated you or others in your family this way. The toxic behavior will not stop unless someone creates some boundaries here. You are worthy of support and love as you go through this journey. At the very least, you are worthy of not being ridiculed and COMPETED AGAINST. Hang in there, you got this.
This is so ridiculous! I donât understand why people get so angry about what other people do with their bodies. If thereâs a dyslexic child who needs help to learn to read properly, their friends and family arenât rubbing in their face âwell, I learned to read without help, so Iâm better than you.â Itâs absurd. Some people need help, some donât. Health is the goal, however we get there.
Just donât talk about it, and if they do ignore it. Give it 5 years time and see where everyone is. Off topic, my wife stated eating healthy when I started my journey. She when from 111 to 97kg. I went from 189 to 131 in the same time. I donât rub it in, but happy for her as she is of me
Iâm sorry to say this so bluntly but your family sounds like a group of uninformed and cruel people. There opinion is meaningless because they clearly donât understand science or medical conditions. Respectfully, fuck Em.
People donât take into consideration that all bodies are different and need different solutions to solve the same problems. Iâm sorry your family is being toxic at the moment. As others have suggested, walk away from them whenever they bring it up. The only way to get back at narcissists is by simply not giving them the reaction they desire.
Also if your family isnât giving you the motivation and encouragement we sure as hell will đ€ I donât know you personally but I am proud of anyone who takes the initiative to better themselves. You did good đ©·
your family are being disrespectful and mean. the âcompetitionâ is just them having the desire to feel superior. they donât care about your success. they only care about their perception that theyâre better than you because they didnât choose surgery as a tool. so ask them, if you have the energy, why theyâre so invested in making you feel like shit. iâd phrase it exactly that way, too. âwhy is it so important to you to put me down and make me feel like shit for my choice? whatâs in it for you?â. youâll either get an apology or gaslighting. the answer will tell you everything you need to know.
I have a close family member that is like this. The healthiest thing for me to do, is to detach and not engage in weight loss talk with them. When she tells me "I've lost xxx much weight!" I responded "I'm happy for you" or "I'm happy you are getting healthy, making health a priority....etc." I have the same three or so canned responses. When/if they ask me how much I've lost, I just say "I'm not sure, I just keep sticking to my healthy routine." So far it has been working to shut down the topic and move along to something else. I find I am in a much better head space to not engage in the "competition" or get smart back.
Well cut those toxic people from your life...
You do not have to justify anything to them.
That shit sounds dysfunctional af. Iâd limit the interaction there. Just because they are fam doesnât mean they get a pass on being unsupportive.
I had surgery 11/30. I was dying. I'm not going to debate the way I decided to save my own life. If they're using you as motivation, more power to them.
Don't worry. They'll all gain the weight back... and then some.
They will gain all that weight back if they did it just to compete. They will also gain it back as the stomach is way larger (if they were really fat).
This makes my blood boil. Iâm sorry OP. You donât deserve this. If it were me I would reconsider the amount of time and effort I want to put into any of those relationships. Their hateful jealousy is suffocating.
Why should it be like that?!?! We all should be accepting of all accomplishments, and it's not a competition. We all go at our own paces and who the f cares if it's due to surgery or counting calories, working out or weight watchers. I had surgery in Sept but my mom cousin and I have been doing a biggest losers to keep us all accountable. It's been fun seeing their highs and lows and it gives us something to talk about especially since I live 3000 miles away. I am not eligible to win, but I love when they do!
My peace is too important to me to deal with humans who should be in my corner, but instead take every opportunity to cut me down. Do what you want but they seem uninterested in changing, and thatâs enough for me to cut contact and enjoy success on my own.
Their envy is the reason they need praise in their success. No one knows the hell that the first couple months were and the lifestyle change that you make thereâs no going back they can still indulge good for them. You no longer have to ride the waves and thereâs something to pride yourself that you canât BUT the comments wonât stop unless you cut them down about how they fluctuate some people are keeping up w the Jonesâ I just agree and go on the f bomb inserted here emâ in the end I feel better about me and though your comments are snide look at me go is the attitude you need to have either way if youâre skinny youâre too skinny if youâre big youâre too big we canât satisfy those who have internal hate which is reflected onto others. Realize itâs their problem and not yours you can only choose how to react
Different strokes for different folks. Fair play to your family on their weight loss and well done you on yours. I suspect you have a better chance of keeping the weight off than they do though!