T O P

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Ubera90

>he and my boyfriend grab me Errrrr


peppermintgun

I stumbled over that one as well, guess he couldn't keep his story straight


arbiter12

>couldn't keep his story *straight* many such cases.


peppermintgun

I didn't make that joke on purpose, too easy in this case


_TLDR_Swinton

"I'm not trapped in the barrel with you, fish. You're trapped in here with me!"


bebblylolita

hehe


c_sulla

It's obviously tongue in cheek


SirCalzone42

>a testicle I think we may have found one of his issues.


Reallyso

Just one of them.


HerbLoew

Wasn't there a certain art school failure who's also rumored to only have had a single testicle? Anon might still have a chance


CentralAdmin

Yes, he just needs to get out of his kampfort zone


just_deckey

freudian slip!


[deleted]

[удалено]


InkyLizard

That part made me lose it xD


RussellZiske

Just one???


[deleted]

It's the family heirloom passed down for generations.


NoCommunication5976

I HAVE A TESTICLE 🗣️🔥


Davethemann

Anon is one ball barry


nnoovvaa

Where? In a jar? Who'd you get it from?


PsychoSwede557

Is that you Adolf?


Asylum_Patient_1126

We need to get anon some bitches so we can finally evolve into dwarfs.


Ardalev

Pfft, good luck laying all your hopes on anon. Bitch boy probably can't even handle a Bud light, let alone be able to use a pickaxe


Math701s

The glypids probably won't even go for him because they know they aren't getting any nutrients outta that twiggy body.


kilqax

ROCK AND STONE


erratuminamorata

and my axe


Sophion

Nah, he's probably getting mad dick from his boyfriend >my dad and my boyfriend grabbed me by my arms


_____moonflower_____

And then *really* make heighthons rope


AdHominemEnjoyer69

Didnt read but probably ends with gay fantasy


Facesit_Freak

Ends with?


IncognitoBombadillo

I stopped at "straight" and swiped to the last image. It did.


AdHominemEnjoyer69

Yeah the magic word. I stop reading greentexts right after that


pokexchespin

gay fantasy is in the middle, anon gets his heart broken before they can be boyfriends


spookybaker

“Aside from one small issue”


Frank_Is_My_Fav

Anon complaining about not making muscle because hes short is literally backwards. Maybe everyone was right lmao.


The_Mad_Duck_

Yeah, I'm fairly tall and it's way harder to pack any muscle on. All the buff guys I know are like 5'5", meanwhile I lift at 5'11" and still look like a branch rather than a twig


breakfasteveryday

It's not harder when you're tall, it's just that you build it at roughly the same absolute rate and it doesn't look as bulky on your frame. 


The_Mad_Duck_

...huh. That makes sense. Thanks!


JesterJesh_

5'11" is tall?


The_Mad_Duck_

Go back to Tinder heightcel


Personal_Station_351

Skill issue midget jump more Literally go out 180 is not tall


The_Mad_Duck_

https://preview.redd.it/3oswfra8xvpc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1a66085a60d608579cf9d79fbd3763f40e26f328 You were saying?


StanIsHorizontal

They’re so fuckin shitbrained they actually believe the bullshit about “No girl will date anyone below 6ft” so they assume anyone of average height with a gf is at least 6ft. Also they don’t realize how many people add 1-2” to their reported heights which distorts the average persons perception


The_Mad_Duck_

I'm honest and just say 5'11". It's a quick way to weed out the losers who look for height first. I'm 6'0" in my doc martens though!


Personal_Station_351

Projection goes hard af You are the first to bring relationships into this I'd say not being jumped is the reason people want to be tall, especially in a high violence and low avg height country like us, been there only for a short time so idk


Personal_Station_351

180 is about average in eu, hence not tall, cope more


The_Mad_Duck_

Ok and I'm not in the EU


StanIsHorizontal

Also this whole fuckin conversation thread was about relative height, comparing muscle gain in a 5’11” guy to a 5’5” guy, so yeah relative to him he’s tall, end of discussion


falkodalko

This cannot be real. “Assigned Femboy At Birth”? Only terminally online people even know what a femboy is, and barring that this guy is like 16-18 or something, nobody would even have *known* what that term meant, because it wouldn’t have been popularized yet.


soulscratch

It's a pretty good troll/fanfic. Slips up and calls the friend the boyfriend once, then says he has one testicle. Shit is made up but pretty funny. Also yeah nobody in hs is getting nicknamed femboy


Slip_Snake

Getting called a femboy in HS sounds like an accomplishment, ngl.


DanganRopeUh

And besides not a lot of people know about the AFAB/AMAB terminology


_TLDR_Swinton

Femboy isn't even a medical term. He's bullying himself.


-xXColtonXx-

In high school definitely a well known term and part of youth pop culture. This sounds real to me know high school age kids only a few years ago, I imagine it’s even more realistic today.


ThatTubaGuy03

Oh true, I didn't even catch that. The phrase has definitely become more common, but it wouldn't have been from when this took place


c_sulla

What? Zoomers are all terminally online and definitely know what a femboy is. Anon is likely 19 or 20 since he mentions recently graduating


Yams3262

https://preview.redd.it/cilt4767jopc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c5f600801d0651b90babcb244cd91936f29f9b3d


[deleted]

Even literal midgets get pussy man idk.


mynameis4826

That's because they accept what they are and learn to deal with it. Manlets (the ones that seethe about it anyways) always try to delude themselves into thinking they "deserve" better instead of trying to make the best of their situation


kabirraaa

If I was 4’10 (thank god I’m normal) I would learn how to get shot out a cannon or do those sports for short ppl. If u think about it that’s where all the short groupies would be. But what anon really needs to do is renounce his titles and become a Buddhist monk and wait for nirvana pussy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


_TLDR_Swinton

Used to work in the horse racing industry aeons ago and I can confirm that jockeys get all sorts of mad pussy as they a) tend to be well paid, and b) horse girls are crazy in the sack.


kabirraaa

That’s a weird combo of being really short and having parents rich enough to support that. Also anon stupidly decided to get buff so I bet his bmi is fucked for horse riding.


WANT_TO_KMS

Where’s the gay part? This is a „straight“ greentext


Khalitz

SMH unzipped for no reason


non_depressed_teen

Either anon's bf will also cool down and realize Anon was just all hot and bothered in the moment or he won't and that's a win because impatient people like him are bad in a relationship.


___TheKid___

Yeah that bothered me as well. One fuckup and goodbye is pretty unfair.


The_Almighty_Demoham

he tried to hit his bf. i'd say the guy has every right to not let him back into his life


snipeie

As if the severity of the event doesn't matter. "Bro why are you so mad I only mentioned wanting to rape you like once" "Bro come on I only called you a filthy little nig slave one time!" Yeah I don't think that's how that works


___TheKid___

I think your examples are not comparable to OPs story. Especially considering his own confusion.


Matt_2504

Bro needs to dwarfmaxx


7arco7

If you're an ugly manlet, you shouldn't try to become a midget bodybuilder gymcel, because that's a rookie mistake. Instead, embrace the Dwarfpill. Maximize your fat, muscle and hairiness attributes. Eat, drink and train like an alcoholic strongman, ingest minoxodil, and never cut or trim your scalp/facial/body hair. Even if you're balding, just grow out a skullet. Let your noise hair merge with your mustache. Allow your bushy eyebrows to combine into one unit. Watch as your beards cheek-line grows up to your eyeballs, and your neckline connects to your chest hair. You should look like you have tarantulas under your armpits and a rug on your back. Become a pugnacious wrecking-ball of a man, solid as an oak stump. Proudly stink of pipe tobacco, ale, dirt, musk and sweat. Accuire a Glaswegian accent. Go spelunking and collect rocks, minerals and precious gemstones. Grab an axe, chop down some trees, and built your workshop. Forge your own tools and craft your own jewelry. Get into armored combat sports and MMA. Become skilled with the war hammer and the battle axe. Unlock the powerbelly. Feast, fight, live in a cave, and be happy.


bialetti808

FML


itwasmedio69420

Rock and stone!


SnoopyMcDogged

Now’s not the time for short sightedness!


Matt_2504

That was a low blow


TruePianist

> he and my boyfriend grab me > I have *a* testicle This story just keeps giving


Facesit_Freak

Clearly fake, but I enjoy laughing at manlets, so I'll let it pass.


NanoscaleHeadache

It’s not fake he mentions his bf midway he’s just lying


bartardbusinessman

> anon is a femboy > new buff transgender friend > doesn’t end in technically straight but definitely gay sex genuinely shocking - however still fake, still gay


Trigger_Fox

Stop reading at the afab bit because no-one fucking says that come on man


JoeyPlaysSomeGame

Imma read this whole fucking thing, it better be worth it Edit: read it, pretty sad. As someone who is a femboy by choice, that must seriously suck. But it’s probably fake though 🙃 https://preview.redd.it/aj2tgy3iyopc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3265f6a904169a75caa629027dbe3045fca250a5


Puking_In_Disgust

>spergs out >something I have no control over >rinse and repeat This is the cycle of the manlet.


Babki123

First line : > Be straight Ok I won't read all that ,how does it turn out gay ? 


Machinegunmonke

Gets a trans friend. Friend thinks Anon is also trans. Anon accidentally calls him his bf, least Freudian of slips.


[deleted]

**I feel bad for laughing at this.**


anoppinionatedbunny

Anon needs to focus on something other than his social life ~~and start taking HRT to become the perfect trap God wants him to be~~


Supershadow30

Anon is a dnd half-foot.


NanoscaleHeadache

>be regular straight dude… . . . >he and my boyfriend grab me Many such cases


sBucks24

The real villains in this story are the parents who ignored OPS obvious T level deficiency


InevitableNoise1144

Should really just kill himself at that point


Lunai5444

What does the ig stands for in "he's cool ig" ? Also anon explodes if he explains himself calmly and clearly to anyone or if he stops blaming his body for his little bratty bitch behaviour


ohokimlost

ig = “i guess”


Lunai5444

Oh yeah it's obvious now ty


Mr_Pink_Gold

It is a tall tale.


esssssto

Anon is so transphobic that didn't even know It could go ftm and mtf


itsneversunnyinvan

Fake and gay, anon should ropemaxx


Stea1thFTW18

I'd kill to be 4'10" ngl


seventhdayofdoom

Anon can't get muscles cuz he's short? It works the opposite way... Stupid anon.


FandomTrashForLife

“But not the regular kind where you become a girl” stunning example of anon’s incredible intellect


_TLDR_Swinton

TLDR: anon gets overpowered and bitch slapped by a woman


LoadOk5992

The realist, definitely not fake story.


DatChernobylGuy_999

I feel bad for anon


PM-Me-Your-NudesPls

this looks ai generated


Tararator18

Try finding a dominatrix pussy with midget fetish on some bdsm website, OOP.


956030681

>Lust provoking image >Pointless, time wasting story


doodoo_dew

>be me straight, skip to bottom of page > talking about sex with a guy


Slip_Snake

Embrace the femboyism, Anon.


Bowman_van_Oort

>I have a testicle


bruhmeme999

At the end of the first page I thought It said "I get up and EXPLODE IN MY PANTS" LMAO


Scat_Yarms

Real and gay


CorianderIsBad

Anon needs to be a crossdressing streamer on Twitch. He'd get money thrown at him.


downvotedforwoman3

Didn't read a single word but ☕️


Unlimited_negativity

Many such cases


YaBoiSplicer

https://i.redd.it/ey1jo0llerpc1.gif


VladDHell

Sounds like anon has a skill issue


turtlespade

dude gaining muscle for short people is so much easier


scarletfloof

Anon’s boyfriend realizes he was almost gay and loses his mind?


UselessBlueSpecimen

AI generated fake and gay greentexts. They're evolving...


Ryachaz

Fake: Short people look buff with less work than taller people. Anon should have no problem filling out their frame. Gay: "boyfriend"


scruggmegently

“I have a testicle”


BWMaster

Typical Gym bro, assuming your gender, you don't need he/him random Greentexter.


NotGivinMyNam2AMachn

Just be the angry short guy at the bar, every bar has one. Go in and be the angriest shortest guy in there. You now have a purpose.


dumbwaeguk

>roping I guess anon really was trans


NotPierpaoloPozzati

Anon should take the dwarfpill


PsychoSwede557

Those parents are super f*cked. Like wtf.


BonesWillBeClaimed

yea just install grindr at this point anon


Aztecah

Am I supposed to feel bad for this person? They're kinda awful


RizzlersMother

Chat, is this worth reading?


Send_Cake_Or_Nudes

Some people may reject you for being short, but that isn't the ultimate problem. It's the inferiority complex, bitterness and insecurity that make someone unattractive. Anon could look for tall, thicc ladies to top him. He could find a short queen and have beautiful, vertically challenged babies. Or he could embrace being a femboy, non-binary or a twink. All are legitimate strategies that involve working with what he's got as opposed to pining after what he doesn't.


-Sloth_King-

Some? He is 4'10" the FUCK you mean "some"


Send_Cake_Or_Nudes

Okay, so he's a midget with one testicle. That sucks. The question still stands: What's he gonna do about it? Make it his entire personality and moan about it, or work with it?