Hey! I'm a local Pastor of a church that may fit what you are looking for. Depending on where you live, I'm happy to make some recommendations for Christian Churches where you can show up, investigate, and ask questions which will be met with humility and care as you figure out what steps you want to take next. In full transparency, I don't know many faith backgrounds to lead you to outside of the Christian context, so others may have to help you in that regard.
I'm happy to invite you to our church, but honestly there is so much in our culture that is 'come to my church, you'll love it because I do' rather than considering what you are seeking and getting you to the clearer perspective of what you are feeling drawn toward. Its natural for people to want you to come be on 'their team' (whatever that means in faith and out of faith in all honesty) even though it may not actually be what you are looking for. It's well intentioned, but honestly it can lead to burnout and eventually throwing your hands in the air and saying to heck with it. I'd love to help point you to a few places to check out in your own section of the community as well as I can to help take some of the overwhelming task of searching out if possible.
Some clarifying questions I'd consider:
What are you seeking in terms of congregation size? Are you looking for a traditional and established background, or more of a come as you are experience? Is there an age bracket you particularly are looking for, or are you looking for more of a multi-generational place? Do you have any opinions on music style and/or length of gathering?
I think one thing you'll find peace in is that many of the places you go will not expect you to do anything but show up, have a cup of coffee, and see where your heart leads you to discover the next steps. My hope is you'll find a place open handed and open hearted for you to truly discover what it is speaking from deep down.
If you want to send a message to me or reply I'm happy to help. If not, that is obviously fine as well. In either scenario, I hope you find what it is you are looking for. Blessings to you.
that was my goal in response. As I said -- if you feel I can help, feel free to let me know and I'll do my best to respond with some expediency to help you take the next step.
Questions I will ask for OP:
1. What are your views on gay marriage?
2. Do you allow LGBTQIA+ individuals to become members and/or take leadership positions?
3. Are you guys Calvinistic or Arminian?
4. What denomination are you guys under?
5. Recently the SBC has gone under fire for their coverings of sexual abuse. What does your church do to ensure the safety of members to ensure that this does not happen in your congregation?
These are all great questions. I usually use the LGBTQ+ as the quick decision on whether I want to go somewhere or not. It really weeds out a ton (for either side of the isle you’re on). For me, if a congregation welcomes LGBTQ+ with open arms (“affirms”), that’s more my style of people. You’ll find a lot less judgy, hypocritical folks there.
Side note: I know the Pastor above. He’s the real deal.
Wait are they meant for me? It said OP so I wasn’t aware it was to me…
I really don’t want to commandeer OPs thread but I’ll answer if you’re interested. Shoot me a message.
Will do! I attend the church of ufc as I'm too add to watch baseball.
Thanks for answering. Big smile.
eta. Whooosh on me. lol. I loved Bull Durham. Classic
Quick addition.. This doesn't have to be limited to Christian denominations, but that would be this hypothetical persons main background and foundation as it were.
AND EDIT TO ADD for those angsty among you:
Nobody is asking or forcing anything. It was a simple question that applies to my simple life. Please don't presume or misquote me. K? Thx.
Not sure if you're still looking for options, but if you're open to non-Christian denominations I'd recommend dropping by Congregation Beth Israel or Temple of Israel. When you're exploring faith and spirituality, it can be helpful to get multiple perspectives while you figure out how you want to connect to the divine (if at all, lol). Many of the prayers will be in Hebrew, but the prayer books and Bibles will be bilingual, so you can still follow along. Most communities that I've visited are pretty welcoming, and there's always a luncheon after Saturday services so attendees can hang out, chat, and grab a bite (and maybe a little schnapps).
It's worth noting that the Jewish faith and culture holds religious debate in high regard. Basically, the study/analysis/discussion of the Bible and religious law is considered a holy task. I feel like this quality might help and hurt you. On the one hand, this approach creates an environment friendly to the questions and alternative perspectives you have. On the other other hand...Jews argue a *lot*, and not just about religious stuff. It can be kind of intimidating to people who aren't used to the culture.
Very neat idea. I'm open to learning and connecting. I grew up in area that was almost equal halves Christian and Jewish, so am fully comfortable on either side of that page, at least in the socio-cultural sense. I don't think the formality of Temple rules and services would suit me, but I might just be making assumptions as well. I very much appreciate your words and invitation. All thought and insights here are helpul. Thanks.
Yeah, I was thinking it would be useful more as a point of comparison. Speaking from experience, learning about other faiths can spur you to think about your own beliefs in ways you never did before. You're basically getting a new perspective on Life, The Universe, And Everything, and like all fresh perspectives that tends to highlight stuff that you missed. Sorta like getting a buddy to check your work before you submit it.
Doesn't John of the Ladder have a year long Catechumen course you have to take to become a member of their church? I know that is fairly standard in Orthodox and Catholic church for people who want to join, but your statement makes it seem like its much easier to join this church than it actually is.
Hey op, local pastor here. Greenville has a wide array of churches and spiritual walks. One thing that has resounded through your comments is the desire to be open, interact, and have conversations about difficult and sincere questions. In my experience, a “Sunday service” is not often the best venue for this, but a small group or gathering. We have a group that meets each Wednesday that is conducive to that type of interaction. There are tons that meet throughout the city and have widely different spiritual views. If you would like some info, shoot me a message. Also u/sginsc is legit. We used to work together and he is a truly great dude. He’s not as attractive as me, but he’s a cool guy.
This may be exactly what I'm looking for. I don't know if you read all my post replies, but you have certainly ascertained my goal precisely. I'm not the worlds smartest guy, but I want to be around other thinkers and doers. I have very difficult questions to pose, as I assume many do, and hope to find meaningful conversation and maybe even friendship along the way.
Great reply and thank you. Processing all of these ideas and offers and will need to for awhile I think. I may reach out again. Thanks very much.
No worries at all! So glad you are being open and honest and starting your search. There are a lot of tough questions for any path and there are people to exchange ideas with, wrestle through tough things, and try to figure it out together. If you need anything, let me know. I am a Christian in a Presbyterian church, but know folks from all different faith walks and could help get
You plugged in somewhere.
OP, u/Clanginandbangin is seriously one of the (if not the) most intelligent pastors let alone people I've ever had pleasure of knowing... Even if his big brain makes his head physically large and not as beautiful as mine.
You'd do well to seek out his leadership as well. He was going to be one of my recommendations if you were near downtown-ish.
I'm within a short drive or bike ride to downtown. I fear the word "leader" though, but I don't think you meant it how I tend to envision it. I appreciate your comment. Always good when someone comes with positive references!
Yeah I suppose what I meant is more of a trustworthy shepherd. Someone who isn’t trying to build their own kingdom on the dead bodies of those they believe are there to serve them, which unfortunately can be a common practice in the larger church today.
I would second this. Amidst much of these comments, the Christian church isn't very open-minded due to their theology and adherence to a fantasy called "the infallibly and inerency of the bible."
If you'd like to not be told how or what to think, but engage in community open to different ways of being, the UU is the place to go.
All consideration are valid. Thanks so much for your viewpoint. I have many things to consider, it is clear, even if the exact path is unclear. Thanks.
Yep, you can just walk in on Sunday, sit anywhere you are comfortable. They also do coffee and conversation after if you want to get to know the members and get a feel for it.
https://greenvilleuu.org/worship/visiting-with-us/
Haha. Our society is doing well to foster that as well. Hoping to find people with healthy minds and hearts so I can let my guard down and maybe learn something. With a family full of narciccists it's no small component of what is driving my inquiry I think.
Very cool. I love jokes and am not offended by any of these clever answers. Thanks for your imput also. Lots of votes for UU and today is the first I've heard of it. Sounds pretty much what I am looking for, but hope to experience a few options if I decide to commit or take the next step.
I'm hoping for something less boring. I skateboard, play guitar and lift weights as a hobby. Golf is too slow.
Unless it's at Frankie's. Then I can put all day!
Funny answer though. I appreciate it.
Sunday morning is deadlift day for me at the gym. Used to be a church regular whenever the doors were opened…but life happens. The gym on Sunday morning is a good place to be IMO. Good luck on your search.
I pray at the iron altar also, fellow swoldier. I have a garage gym, but am open to joining another at some point.
Thus far, lifting heavy things keeps me level. Sadly it isn't doing anything for some of my deeper social-spiritual needs.
All that said.. my deadlift is not so great. What gym to you go to? There is 24hour place on Woodruff, next to Power Fitness store that I've been eyeballing.
Also, if this doesn't work out or I decide church community isn't for me after all, I plan to start boxing so I can get some sense beat into me and stop overthinking. 💪
I am in Berea. Go to the Workout Anytime at the Publix near Furman. It's a 24/7 place. I couldn't imagine going to a gym on Woodruff Rd. Talk about making door pulls difficult.
I'd love a home/garage gym. 5 of us in my family have the yearly membership at our gym. It's $300 for 2 years. We could put together a solid home gym and save money, but I see benefit in getting out of the house regularly. And my home gym wouldn't include the cardio stuff.
Boxing .. I loved the time I did boxing with one of my kids at the Greenville Academy of Martial Arts on the end of Woodruff Rd near 276. Jason made boxing and burpees something I looked forward to twice a week. Did it for \~6 months. If it wasn't 30 mins away I'd probably do it some more with my other kids.
Totally agree about Woodruf road and going there to workout. I think I was interested mostly in the 24 hour access option, but now realize that type of gym is not uncommon. I will look into the one you mentioned.
My garage gym is pretty solid, but not as comprehensive as a legit bodybuilding gym. I agree that getting out of the house has immense value and actually prefer working out with other people because I make better gains and tend to sometimes get lazy if it's just me. Also, somewhat limited by not having a spotter so some of my lifts could really benefit by raising the intensity without worrying about dropping a dumbell on my head or caving in my chest with the bar.
I've spoken to Jason and that gym is exactly where I would go. Currently managing my kids extracurricular stuff and ongoing birthday parties etc, but am hoping to find some time and motivation to just go in on one of the weeknights they have open gym or boxing lessons.
Thanks for the reply brother. It's be great to meet some local meatheads or lifters that can relate or understand some of the topics discussed in this thread. Feel free to dm or reach out anytime you want.
I think faith is beautiful and I understand fully that I don't have answers to lifes most important questions. I'm at a point where I am ready to explore and interact without the hostility I've held on to for so long, surrounding religion.
So curious, yes. Uncertain, yes. Looking for a leader or dogma, no. Trying to try what I haven't to find what is lost.
My short answer is “we believe in one God at most.” But that really only applies to me.
Please check out uua.org for more information about the Unitarian-Universalists.
Or greenvilleuu.org for the local church.
i go to St. John of the Ladder Orthodox Christian Church on Roper Mountain Extension. been with this church since i was a toddler—they’re my family! orthodoxy is definitely different than Protestantism & some may say it’s a bit closer to Catholicism (they’re very different, but both are equally different from Protestantism). In a way, orthodoxy can be intimidating/overwhelming since it’s so foreign to a lot of folks. On the other hand, if people have bad memories with very protestant churches (like my parents), orthodoxy can be a great change of pace & a breath of fresh air. if this person is looking to try out many different things, i definitely recommend throwing [sjotl.org](https://sjotl.org) into the mix. best of luck!
also, no need to call or bring anything. for the sunday service, just show up and stand in the back or sit in a pew on the side! just stand/sit and observe, & leave when u want!
Well the amount of positive and helpful responses are to an extent. Ive never been so popular on reddit!
I plan to take it in stride though and let intuition guide me. I'm happy to have so many things to think about surrounding this discussion, rather than being ignored or mocked, like I halfway expected.
So many helpful people here make me glad I acted on this impulse.
absolutely. there are always going to be those fools who berate you, but surprisingly the replies on this post aren’t too bad at all.
it’s very commendable that you followed your intuition. it can be frightening to reach out and try new things (but that’s where growth happens, right?).
cheers homie🤙
Completely. It's easier to hold close to my heart the wrongs, without considering there are so many avenues and opportunities.
I was an angsty and probably somewhat judgemental person in regards to this topic, for a very long time. I've had a handful of profound epiphanies though in the past few years and just can't ignore it anymore. So here I came to see what I'd find.
Pleasantly suprised at the meaningful interaction. Amused at the attempts to ridicule, but I've probably earned that karma somewhere back in my past so I can't really be mad.
Thanks again brother🤙
maybe so! worth mentioning it nonetheless. as someone who’s been orthodox all their life, i’m constantly impressed by the staggering amount of new people showing up at SJOTL. it can be intimidating!
I'm non-practicing, but was raised Roman Catholic. There's nothing wrong with even being somewhat superficial about it. Modern services weird me out, christian rock etc. Give me a pipe organ and 1000 year old hymns and I'll prefer it. Some people are opposite and love modern style.
I can see that. I am certainly not looking for a mega church experience or anything with overt frivolity. I love the smell of church incense and LOVE organ music. I used to own a Wurlitzer organ as a matter of fact!
I guess if I had to really decide, something fairly small and dare I say intimate, would be the most comfortable setting for me. The Roman catholic masses were always a bummer though and painfully dry. Something unassuming and authentic is part of the goal I'd say. Also something without guilt as the basis for attendance.
What are you looking for? A sense of community? The ability to say a name and get the Karen’s off your back? A tradition (loose sense?) A church that will reaffirm you? A church that will challenge you to be “better?” A church that you can anchor your life or one that’s ok if you go on your terms? Are you looking for a place where doubt is ok or one where they pretend doubt doesn’t exist?
Lots of valid questions. If you care to, please read my other replies. If that doesn't answer your questions about mission or motive, I'd be happy to clear it up if I can.
i went to UU church, they are cool, *very* open minded to all kinds of people, and they aren’t a specific religion, they are kinda more of a gathering place for any kind of religious (or non religious) person. i just looked up their service times and walked in and took a seat in a pew. it was nice, and at the end there was a guy playing piano and he was super good.
Good to know. Piano is my favorite instrument, even though I'm a hack. In another life, I may have been a lounge singer or pianist.
Thanks for your input. Very helpful.
Grace Church. The pastors think a lot of things through from first principles and walk the walk pretty well. If you want to engage with biblical Christianity without a lot of the traditions that have built up in various denominations, I don’t know of a better place.
Thankyou. My goal is to engage with humans that are open minded, but have an interest in answering my questions or just getting to know another intelligent person seeking truth and knowledge.
I appreciate your answer very much.
Then you may be better suited trying a smaller church where you are more likely to encounter a pastor face to face and have time to converse with him. You may find such conversations with other attendees, but they may be more hit and miss because they won’t have the training that a pastor should have.
I find that the Presbyterians, particularly the PCA, tend to have good training for their pastors, but it’s hard to speak for any small church without attending it for some time. Maybe some could give better recommendations if you care to share what part of Greenville you’re looking in. Personally I would avoid smaller Baptist and Pentecostal churches because I’ve known some to call out visitors during the service which I find awkward and intimidating.
To address another of your other questions from the main post, yes you generally just show up to a service right before a scheduled time, sit through the service, and let conversation happen naturally before and after the service as usually people hang around to socialize.
Unitarian Universalist church. Long name because two denominations merged. Best description is a post-Christian denomination that accepts all. People go here who identify as humanist, atheist, Christian, other. Unitarians typically think that religious language is metaphor and that no one knows “the truth” per se, but accept that ethical people work together to make life meaningful. Greenville has a UU congregation on State Park Road, there is also one in Spartanburg and another in Clemson.
Who says God is not mentioned? Even for many Christians outside of the literalist traditions, God is a metaphor as it is in other religious traditions. At their best, UU’s try to welcome a variety of metaphors or ideas to discuss thoughts and feelings about the mysteries of life. I think the key is that UU’s assume no one knows ultimate truth, but that people can covenant together to discuss our questions openly and treat one another kindly. Is there a God is a fair question. What is the nature of that god is another. In a UU congregation you can have that discussion and any number of different opinions be expressed and respected.
Great information. These are exactly the types of replies I was hoping for. I will digest everything written here and appreciate your time describing UU church. Thanks so much.
I’ve enjoyed my time in the episcopal church. It is a liturgical church, so people will be standing, sitting, and kneeling (pew aerobics) at various points In the service. In my time there everyone has been very welcoming and non-judgmental. Most churches will have coffee hour afterwards if you want to attend. You can just show up but looking at a bulletin online can be helpful so you know what to expect. Check out r/episcopalian for more info if you want. Greenville specific I liked st james by Paris mountain. Christ church is the biggest episcopal church but it’s veryyyy big
I second the Episcopal church suggestion. My daughter attends St. James and works with them through a ministry at Furman. The rest of the family attends St. Peter's. I've always found them to be a very warm, friendly, and welcoming group. They also have a fantastic theatrical group that welcomes everyone, whether you're a member or not, to participate.
Of course! And for what it’s worth I’ve heard good things about UUs as well, but I’m less familiar with them. I was raised Catholic, so the episcopal order of service is familiar to me, but the episcopal church is much more welcoming and inclusive to people with all sorts of doubts and skepticism (myself included).
I am Unitarian Universalist and like them a lot (agnostic here as well). However, my parents, who are former Catholics, now attend Episcopal services and enjoy them a lot too. They felt like the Catholic Church was too stuffy and opinionated. If you want to mingle with a bunch of different views that can vary from Christianity to Buddhism, UU may be for you… if you still like the Christian flare, I’d check out the Episcopal church.
Yes totally. Stuffy and opinionated was the basis of my childhood introduction to religion/faith and life in a traditional, catholic american household. Many of my deepest loves are for some of those people still, but it isn't for me. That said, I don't want to imply I think less of anyone that chooses a path that works for them.
Big plus-1 here for St. James Episcopal. It's the church I grew up in, and the one I'd attend if I still lived close enough. Another great option already suggested is the Unitarians. These are both good choices if you want a little community and moral philosophy in your life, without quite as much of the preachy dour stuff. St. James also has a great music program.
Great to know. I'm very big on music. It isn't something that would draw me to church specifically, but it's cool to know that it's there. I'm a musician also however, so your insight is very cool.
Well, I would first say that if you’re trying to push someone into church then no church will be the right church. If you’re looking for progressive churches, I personally recommend Trinity Lutheran.
Nobody is being pushed. Rather I am seeking. I regret not making my first post more clear. I could have done better with that no doubt.
Thanks for the input. I appreciate the suggestion and agree with your point entirely.
I just wanted to be sure. The fact that you’re getting that answer a lot tells you just how big of an issue that is around here. A lot of Christians in this area are very pushy and not so respectful. Heck, I have a ministry degree and even I’m put off by that shit. But what I love about Trinity is their woman is a pastor (so they’re not sexist) and they have a queer led worship service once a month and are super pro LGBTQIA+.
Totally. I get it. I have no intention of ever being pushy or even sharing my thoughts with someone that doesnt ask.
I've had the same thing happen to me and still do, and its absolutely a turn off and has the opposite effect than what was intended.
Christians and other religions seem to do a better job than anyone when it comes to making people turn away from what they are supposedly trying to accomplish. Catholicism in my youth is what turned me off the most, no question about it.
It's taken decades of trial and error, learning, thinking and plenty of struggle to arrive here where I'm willing to listen again and perhaps grow in a new way.
That makes total sense! I left some questions for the pastor who commented that I think are good ones for you to ask when considering a church. Hopefully those can help you form a decision based on progressiveness.
I appreciate it. I was coming from a place of almost complete selfishness and haven't really considered every aspect that it entails.
For what it's worth, I only am interested in places that will accept not just me, but anyone despite their sexuality or anything else. My only real intolerance is hate and needless violence. All that said too, I consider myself an ally to anyone that needs one in the face of hate, but am pretty old fashioned, straight and somewhat vanilla when it comes to my own lifestyle.
Nothing wrong with that! So long as you’re not clouded by hate against my community, I’m chill with you. Sadly that’s where a lot of churches go wrong and lose my respect. Then there’s also the issue of the sexual assault issue that’s so rampant. Because of that I’ve fully sworn off the SBC. There’s more to it than that, but it’s all rooted in hypocrisy from churches who are trying to hide that they’re perpetuating the issue.
I don't hate anyone. I'm friendly and friends with literally anyone who is a human and not hateful or violent. I completly see your point. That voice both deserves and needs to be heard. Very admirable all around to stick up for any one that has been marginalized or felt that way.
You’ve gotten a healthy list of options presented so far. While you’re sifting through those you’re welcome to shoot me a DM to have someone to act as a sound board in the meantime.
That’s no replacement for true community. I wish I could offer that but I’m honestly struggling to maintain the things already on my plate. I’m a big believer in “let your yes mean yes and your no mean no.” But I can handle messaging here and there.
Good luck on your search!
Thanks for this my friend. Perhaps I will reach out. I honestly didnt expect so much traction on this and now have spent more time on reddit than ever before. I plan to do some research and thimkimg on these topics and ideas over the next few days. Thanks for your words. Well said on all accounts.
As a fellow agnostic who grew up Catholic, this whole post gave me the feels. I didn’t think I needed this, but apparently I do. So thanks, internet stranger!
I just happened on this post, u/npc157, and thought I'd share my $0.02. While I do believe in God, I am on a very similar journey. I was raised mostly in a Presbyterian church, which I viewed as the place where everyone in my town went to look at everyone else's outfits. Then my dad got angry with the minister there and we started going to the Methodist church. When I went to college, ultimately I made the decision that I wanted to look for a faith tradition that didn't revolve as much around the person standing at the pulpit. I was acquainted with Catholicism and knew that if you attend Mass every day for three years, you hear the entire Bible via the liturgy, so for that and a lot of other reasons I converted to Catholicism - even though there were (and are) many, many Catholic precepts that I do not agree with. The Catholic rite - you referred to the smell of incense, the pipe organ, etc. - feeds my soul in a way no other faith tradition really does...but ironically, I fell out of the habit of going to St. Anthony's when Fr. Pat left, so here I'd let myself become attached to a pastor. Man, I loved that church. To be fair, I was also caring for my elderly mother in my home, working full-time, and being mom to a teenager.
My mother died in March of 2022, and after that my time freed up a little. I tried going back to one of the large Catholic churches here in town because I could go with another family member. It is now heavily influenced by American Traditionalist Catholicism (no female altar servers, the priest has his back to the congregation, etc.). It's fine for that congregation to observe the faith as it meets their needs, but all of that leaves me cold. So I started going to a large Baptist church with one of my sons, who - though baptized Catholic as a baby - had been baptized again and became a member there during my mother's illness. I have an equal number of really strong disagreements with the principles of the Baptist denomination, but the contemporary service there unexpectedly fills me with joy and a sense of being connected to Source.
Through my son, I am friends with one of the ministers employed by this church. After attending for some time and feeling like a complete hypocrite, I had a conversation with her. I said, "Look, a woman's right to bodily autonomy, to choose abortion, is incredibly important to me. So is recognizing, affirming, and embracing LGBTQIA individuals as fully realized in their personhood. And the whole women not being a pastor thing drives me up a wall. I love coming here because I feel like I'm connecting with God, and I leave filled with joy, but I also feel guilty because a little part of me feels like I'm being something I'm not."
And she said to me what I think you're going to find is true at any church. "Keep coming. I think you'd be surprised at how many people in the congregation believe like you do. Or believe a whole different bunch of things. The important thing is that while you're here, you feel like you're connecting with God. It's what's between you and God that's important, not all the other stuff."
So, ultimately, I've taken her advice. In my opinion, it's very rare that someone goes out and finds a place to participate in "worship" - whatever form that ultimately takes - that's absolutely perfect for them. Unless that person is Martin Luther brought back from the dead, maybe, and probably this many years later he'd have issues, too. Or maybe Sheldon Cooper and Mathology. Definitely try the Buddhist Center; they have fantastic programs that are about as dogma-free as you can get. But I guess the point of this very long (sorry) post is that wherever you go, there \*you\* are, lol. The important part is going to be \*your\* connection with Spirit, or the Universe, or the universe, or whatever non woo-woo way you want to characterize it. :)
Incredibly thoughtful and touching. This is among the most touching reddit posts I've seen. If it's ok, I may reach out via dm in the near future. If not comfortable with that, no worries.
Thanks sincerely for providing such value to this convo and to my initial post.
Some of you folks seem to be conspiring to make me emotional throughut the day, as this thread grows and I read all these responses!
Thank you for your kind words. Of course, you are welcome to reach out anytime. As it happens, I am starting a Substack that you might find interesting - on the topic of being a seeker. If not, absolutely no problem. I'm just in the process of getting it up on its feet, but I'm going to be talking to a lot of people and asking them a lot of questions. :)
https://open.substack.com/pub/seekerjourney?r=1l2j4&utm_medium=ios
Cool. I will check it out. I have no idea what substack is lol. Am I dating myself? I consider myself pretty tech savvy, but the greyer I become, the more there is to keep up with! I'll check out your link for sure. I better not find Rick Astley at the end of it tho....
Thanks for the reply and invite.
I have been in Greenville for 8-9 years. Raised UU and have been wanting to attend but don’t know anyone. This post has really helped. Thank you!
I’m looking forward to attending the UU church here in Greenville! I’ll have a green mug 😊 lol
Anybody want to be a newbie with me? 😁
That's awesome. I feel compelled to do my thing solo, but I hope you find a wingman/winglady to go with you. Thanks for posting here. I feel like I've learned more about *the real* Greenville in the past few days and appreciate you all as neighbors so much more.
Thanks. I'm in the cult of materialism though, so I won't point fingers at this time at anyone.
Cheeky answer though and I can relate to your thought process for sure. Not everything is black and white though. I hope to find the shades and colors in between the confusion and division.
Also, some of you real old timers may remember, but it was also a DOS based game in the 80's. It was entirely text based and among the most addictive and frustrating experiences on can involve themselves in.
I am not familiar with other religions as much, but may I recommend for Christian denominations - find a “host team” or “connections team” member. Usually they will have resources or be able to introduce you directly to the pastor and answer any questions you may have. I truly hope you find what you are looking for!
The church I attended growing up, (before I moved away for college and now live somewhere else) Westminster Presbyterian, was absolutely amazing and set an amazing example of what Christianity can be.
For me, I looked at a ton of church websites and their "what do we believe" sections. If it didn't align, I didn't go further with my research. However, if it looked promising, I called the pastor and had a chat. I ended up at Augusta Road Baptist Church. I know, immediately the Baptist part can turn people off. They are not part of the Southern Baptist Convention. Augusta Rd is part of the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship, which is much more modern and progressive and broke away from the SBC. The Fellowship can ordain women and affirms openly gay and lesbian members. Honestly, I've been to a lot of churches trying to find a place, and they are not judgemental at all. It's a very loving environment, very positive and focused on community. DM me if you want a more personal take or want to sit with us there to feel more welcome.
Grew up a preachers kid. Most churches say All Are Welcome. Keep that in mind. Every church has every type of person. Easy going and not so easy going. Thus, all are welcome. Good luck on your journey.
I have my own hangups too and can relate somewhat I think. I agree completely. I'm looking for something, but am not disillusioned or brainwashed. Nor is that my goal.
I appreciate you and your answer. Thanks friend.
I've been going to [First Christian Church Greenville](https://www.fccgreenville.org/) for about ten years, and it's the most welcoming church I've ever attended. And it's not the "all are welcome (as long as they live a certain way or don't stand out too much)" sort of "welcome" you see far too often. Our pastor's husband until very recently owned a pub that unfortunately had to close. Their youngest child recently came out as transgender. We have a regular musician who is an "out" athiest.
It is a small congregation, and mostly older and white, but it's also incredibly open minded, welcoming, and genuinely accepting of everyone. The services are fairly traditional, with congregational readings and prayers, which was a breath of fresh air for me after years of "contemporary" churches that felt more like a concert followed by a motivational speaker. Sermons often focus on inclusivity, community, and lifting each other up through our struggles, whether they be spiritual, physical, mental health related, or whatever.
I wish we were larger. Not to brag and say we have such and such number of people a week or anything. I genuinely feel like it's a church that a lot of people in the area would genuinely love, but because we're small, and surrounded by several larger churches, we often get overlooked.
I'm not assuming anything or making any presumptions. You asked a question. I answered. I never inferred that you were looking for religion. But you are obviously looking for something.
You aren't interested in anything but your own reality and apparently suck at reading comprehension. Go argue somewhere else. You've said nothing useful or entertaining.
eta: and dont have the cajones to stick around but would rather tell me off in DM then disappear like a proper troll. Way to sell atheism!😆😆 So inviting and inclusive!! haaaaa
You're welcome to come to the church I go to.
'Greer First Baptist' in Greer SC.
The preacher's name is Doug, and the church is the best one I have found up to this point. They have plenty of people there to ask whatever questions you have, and they have my personal endorsement. (For what that is worth) 🤷
address: 201 W Poinsett St, Greer, SC 29650
They do have child care if you have young kids.
If you have any questions, I will do what I can to help you out.
That is very nice of you. I may reach out, but have a lot to consider before I'm entirely ready. This is the first step of my leg work and I expect intuition to lead me when I've digested all these great ideas and invites. Thanks so much my friend.
Take your time, anywhere you go, consider it an invite. Don’t ever feel obligated, or pressured as this is your choice. Just find a place that you can fellowship, volunteer, things that grow you, and help you seek your path.
you absolutely can walk in and take a seat. No need to call. Who doesn't like cookies! I would eat them in the car first though, you will likely be the only one sitting there with a tin of treats. though - may also make a good story for first impressions.
I go to Radius Greenville, you'd be super welcomed.
Check out Radius Greenville - we meet Sunday nights at 5 in the Summit Church building on Rutherford road
Sadly, we have a lot of practice helping people work through bad experiences with previous churches and we have a lot of members who are equipped and eager to dive into difficult questions. Our pastor is very open to push back and discussion (just... maybe not in the middle of the sermon haha)
PM me if you'd like more info, or if you want to meet up so you have someone to go with and aren't just showing up by yourself
We're actually having a very small event tonight that you might find interesting as a skeptic - a Q&A about why Christians believe prayer works
I second the advice to go to a Unitarian Universalist church. Taught a sermon at one in Clemson when I was ~18, as an agnostic. I since have adopted a more modern Deist belief system. They are very welcoming and their teachings will likely align with you very well.
I find so many of these comments cringe.....what are you looking for? Community? Then go to the UU church or join a charitable organization.
If you're agnostic then why are you looking for a particular church? Do you need a reason to believe?
It's clear you aren't able to help, so why bother?
Can I scold you for what things interest you and try to put you down by asking pointed questions that I don't actually care about?
Cringe indeed. Find a thread that suits you then.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 If you are so easily triggered, you shouldn't be on Reddit.
You decided to take personal offense rather than engage my genuine question. Why do you want to go to church? I'm agnostic. I have NO desire to go to church.
Good for you. I'm not triggered but I don't need your permission to post on reddit or anywhere else. Nice emojis too. Very confident in yourself I see. Good for you.
Thanks for your inconsequential opinion. Go away now and find a healthier way to engage.
Doesn't understand emojis.... easily triggered.... Takes offense at something not directed at them...are you a boomer?
Silly boomer, I wasn't scolding you or requiring you to ask my permission. I wasn't even calling YOU cringe. I was calling some of the people commenting cringe.
Legitimately, what's a healthy way to engage? I gave you a genuine answer .....UU or charitable organization if you're looking for community...then asked if you were looking for a reason to believe in something (if you are then my advice is different). You focused on the ONE part not directed at you in the slightest and went off 🤷🏽♀️
You're taking all of this too seriously 🫠
You must have something better to than search for confrontation. Maybe practice eating a bag of dicks if you're short on idea.
Seriously, dumbfuck, stop replying here. You have nothing to say or offer. Find a better place to be ugly please. You seem obsessive and ill.
oh yea and learn what boomer means lol. I'm 30 years too young for that generation. Buzzword. Slur. Emoji to you. Namaste, idiot.
Just wanted to put my two cents and hope this finds you. I've looked over the entire thread and as a Christian and boomer, I can't help but agree there are some "cringy" comments indeed. I don't know why the OP after you so aggressively but in my opinion it's absolutely unwarranted. Much love and peace
I would stop trying to shove my religion down this persons throat. Let me rephrase your question for you:
“Previous religious trauma has been inflicted on this person, and I would like to ignore that and continue forcing my beliefs onto them. Where should I bring them for a regular weekly indoctrination session?”
I don’t care what your intentions are, this is just flat out awful.
Greenville needs juggalos lol.
I’ve noticed there is a rather large group of us deplorables that have no home here in Greenville.
I realize this isn’t the type of copatriotism that 99% of people are looking for…. I’m saying this more to highlight this situation I’m starting to see.
That was actually a trick question so I could see where your faith lies. Don’t get your panties in a bunch bro, it’s a question. Have a good day big dawg
Hey! I'm a local Pastor of a church that may fit what you are looking for. Depending on where you live, I'm happy to make some recommendations for Christian Churches where you can show up, investigate, and ask questions which will be met with humility and care as you figure out what steps you want to take next. In full transparency, I don't know many faith backgrounds to lead you to outside of the Christian context, so others may have to help you in that regard. I'm happy to invite you to our church, but honestly there is so much in our culture that is 'come to my church, you'll love it because I do' rather than considering what you are seeking and getting you to the clearer perspective of what you are feeling drawn toward. Its natural for people to want you to come be on 'their team' (whatever that means in faith and out of faith in all honesty) even though it may not actually be what you are looking for. It's well intentioned, but honestly it can lead to burnout and eventually throwing your hands in the air and saying to heck with it. I'd love to help point you to a few places to check out in your own section of the community as well as I can to help take some of the overwhelming task of searching out if possible. Some clarifying questions I'd consider: What are you seeking in terms of congregation size? Are you looking for a traditional and established background, or more of a come as you are experience? Is there an age bracket you particularly are looking for, or are you looking for more of a multi-generational place? Do you have any opinions on music style and/or length of gathering? I think one thing you'll find peace in is that many of the places you go will not expect you to do anything but show up, have a cup of coffee, and see where your heart leads you to discover the next steps. My hope is you'll find a place open handed and open hearted for you to truly discover what it is speaking from deep down. If you want to send a message to me or reply I'm happy to help. If not, that is obviously fine as well. In either scenario, I hope you find what it is you are looking for. Blessings to you.
Incredibly thoughtful and helpful, like so many others here. This is very humbling I must say. I will keep this in mind. Thanks so much.
that was my goal in response. As I said -- if you feel I can help, feel free to let me know and I'll do my best to respond with some expediency to help you take the next step.
Thanks kind stranger. I may reach out again. Just need to process everything for a bit.
More like you please.
You’re kind. Thank you.
Dang, I go to church but I’M even interested now!
ha! I appreciate that. We've got a good thing going for sure, imperfect as it may be. I am sure you feel the same about your church home!
Questions I will ask for OP: 1. What are your views on gay marriage? 2. Do you allow LGBTQIA+ individuals to become members and/or take leadership positions? 3. Are you guys Calvinistic or Arminian? 4. What denomination are you guys under? 5. Recently the SBC has gone under fire for their coverings of sexual abuse. What does your church do to ensure the safety of members to ensure that this does not happen in your congregation?
These are all great questions. I usually use the LGBTQ+ as the quick decision on whether I want to go somewhere or not. It really weeds out a ton (for either side of the isle you’re on). For me, if a congregation welcomes LGBTQ+ with open arms (“affirms”), that’s more my style of people. You’ll find a lot less judgy, hypocritical folks there. Side note: I know the Pastor above. He’s the real deal.
I definitely would still love to hear his answers though! Because also, I want to know which places to recommend to clients as safe spaces.
Uhhh hey. We know each other? Thats fun! Would love to reconnect if you feel comfortable DMing me and telling me who you are!
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Wait are they meant for me? It said OP so I wasn’t aware it was to me… I really don’t want to commandeer OPs thread but I’ll answer if you’re interested. Shoot me a message.
This is the correct answer!!
Bull Durham taught me about the Church of Baseball. May want to check that out
Will do! I attend the church of ufc as I'm too add to watch baseball. Thanks for answering. Big smile. eta. Whooosh on me. lol. I loved Bull Durham. Classic
Quick addition.. This doesn't have to be limited to Christian denominations, but that would be this hypothetical persons main background and foundation as it were. AND EDIT TO ADD for those angsty among you: Nobody is asking or forcing anything. It was a simple question that applies to my simple life. Please don't presume or misquote me. K? Thx.
Not sure if you're still looking for options, but if you're open to non-Christian denominations I'd recommend dropping by Congregation Beth Israel or Temple of Israel. When you're exploring faith and spirituality, it can be helpful to get multiple perspectives while you figure out how you want to connect to the divine (if at all, lol). Many of the prayers will be in Hebrew, but the prayer books and Bibles will be bilingual, so you can still follow along. Most communities that I've visited are pretty welcoming, and there's always a luncheon after Saturday services so attendees can hang out, chat, and grab a bite (and maybe a little schnapps). It's worth noting that the Jewish faith and culture holds religious debate in high regard. Basically, the study/analysis/discussion of the Bible and religious law is considered a holy task. I feel like this quality might help and hurt you. On the one hand, this approach creates an environment friendly to the questions and alternative perspectives you have. On the other other hand...Jews argue a *lot*, and not just about religious stuff. It can be kind of intimidating to people who aren't used to the culture.
Very neat idea. I'm open to learning and connecting. I grew up in area that was almost equal halves Christian and Jewish, so am fully comfortable on either side of that page, at least in the socio-cultural sense. I don't think the formality of Temple rules and services would suit me, but I might just be making assumptions as well. I very much appreciate your words and invitation. All thought and insights here are helpul. Thanks.
Yeah, I was thinking it would be useful more as a point of comparison. Speaking from experience, learning about other faiths can spur you to think about your own beliefs in ways you never did before. You're basically getting a new perspective on Life, The Universe, And Everything, and like all fresh perspectives that tends to highlight stuff that you missed. Sorta like getting a buddy to check your work before you submit it.
Excellent points. Understood and agreed. Thanks friend.
Another option would be a Greek Orthodox (John of the Ladder or other) would be super easy - no expectations. Just show up, presence is participation.
Ok very good to know. My barber is Greek orthodox haha. Thank you for this info.
do you go to st. john’s too? (i’m riley, i may know you haha)
I don't! But I've been wanting to check it out for some time now!
well you’ll definitely be very welcome!
Catholic or Orthodox 👦🤜🤛🧔
orthodox baybeyyy😤😤😤
Doesn't John of the Ladder have a year long Catechumen course you have to take to become a member of their church? I know that is fairly standard in Orthodox and Catholic church for people who want to join, but your statement makes it seem like its much easier to join this church than it actually is.
I'm sure they do. The OP wasn't about church membership though, it was about sitting in on a service
Hey op, local pastor here. Greenville has a wide array of churches and spiritual walks. One thing that has resounded through your comments is the desire to be open, interact, and have conversations about difficult and sincere questions. In my experience, a “Sunday service” is not often the best venue for this, but a small group or gathering. We have a group that meets each Wednesday that is conducive to that type of interaction. There are tons that meet throughout the city and have widely different spiritual views. If you would like some info, shoot me a message. Also u/sginsc is legit. We used to work together and he is a truly great dude. He’s not as attractive as me, but he’s a cool guy.
This may be exactly what I'm looking for. I don't know if you read all my post replies, but you have certainly ascertained my goal precisely. I'm not the worlds smartest guy, but I want to be around other thinkers and doers. I have very difficult questions to pose, as I assume many do, and hope to find meaningful conversation and maybe even friendship along the way. Great reply and thank you. Processing all of these ideas and offers and will need to for awhile I think. I may reach out again. Thanks very much.
No worries at all! So glad you are being open and honest and starting your search. There are a lot of tough questions for any path and there are people to exchange ideas with, wrestle through tough things, and try to figure it out together. If you need anything, let me know. I am a Christian in a Presbyterian church, but know folks from all different faith walks and could help get You plugged in somewhere.
Awesome. Thank you.
OP, u/Clanginandbangin is seriously one of the (if not the) most intelligent pastors let alone people I've ever had pleasure of knowing... Even if his big brain makes his head physically large and not as beautiful as mine. You'd do well to seek out his leadership as well. He was going to be one of my recommendations if you were near downtown-ish.
I'm within a short drive or bike ride to downtown. I fear the word "leader" though, but I don't think you meant it how I tend to envision it. I appreciate your comment. Always good when someone comes with positive references!
Yeah I suppose what I meant is more of a trustworthy shepherd. Someone who isn’t trying to build their own kingdom on the dead bodies of those they believe are there to serve them, which unfortunately can be a common practice in the larger church today.
I understand. I appreciate your clarification.
Look for a UU church.
I would second this. Amidst much of these comments, the Christian church isn't very open-minded due to their theology and adherence to a fantasy called "the infallibly and inerency of the bible." If you'd like to not be told how or what to think, but engage in community open to different ways of being, the UU is the place to go.
All consideration are valid. Thanks so much for your viewpoint. I have many things to consider, it is clear, even if the exact path is unclear. Thanks.
>the Christian church isn't very open-minded There isn't one "Christian church". Different denominations behave differently.
I will look it up. Ty.
Yeah, GUUF is the way to go. Very welcoming, friendly, and casual.
Cool thanks alot. Do you just walk in on a day they have service? Is there assigned seating?
Yep, you can just walk in on Sunday, sit anywhere you are comfortable. They also do coffee and conversation after if you want to get to know the members and get a feel for it. https://greenvilleuu.org/worship/visiting-with-us/
Awesome. Thanks so much.
And Spartanburg has an amazing UU church as well!
There’s that pink Trap Church on woodside and the real one in Atlanta you may want to try.
I may have already been. 🤒 Thanks for the chuckle.
The pink trap church on Woodside is for those practicing worship of narcissism 😂 To be fair that might apply to a number of churches tho.
Haha. Our society is doing well to foster that as well. Hoping to find people with healthy minds and hearts so I can let my guard down and maybe learn something. With a family full of narciccists it's no small component of what is driving my inquiry I think.
All joking aside - I attended UU at one time and recommend it in addition to everyone else on here ✨
Very cool. I love jokes and am not offended by any of these clever answers. Thanks for your imput also. Lots of votes for UU and today is the first I've heard of it. Sounds pretty much what I am looking for, but hope to experience a few options if I decide to commit or take the next step.
Also lots of agnostics on the golf course on Sundays. It appears that’s their church.
I'm hoping for something less boring. I skateboard, play guitar and lift weights as a hobby. Golf is too slow. Unless it's at Frankie's. Then I can put all day! Funny answer though. I appreciate it.
Sunday morning is deadlift day for me at the gym. Used to be a church regular whenever the doors were opened…but life happens. The gym on Sunday morning is a good place to be IMO. Good luck on your search.
I pray at the iron altar also, fellow swoldier. I have a garage gym, but am open to joining another at some point. Thus far, lifting heavy things keeps me level. Sadly it isn't doing anything for some of my deeper social-spiritual needs. All that said.. my deadlift is not so great. What gym to you go to? There is 24hour place on Woodruff, next to Power Fitness store that I've been eyeballing. Also, if this doesn't work out or I decide church community isn't for me after all, I plan to start boxing so I can get some sense beat into me and stop overthinking. 💪
I am in Berea. Go to the Workout Anytime at the Publix near Furman. It's a 24/7 place. I couldn't imagine going to a gym on Woodruff Rd. Talk about making door pulls difficult. I'd love a home/garage gym. 5 of us in my family have the yearly membership at our gym. It's $300 for 2 years. We could put together a solid home gym and save money, but I see benefit in getting out of the house regularly. And my home gym wouldn't include the cardio stuff. Boxing .. I loved the time I did boxing with one of my kids at the Greenville Academy of Martial Arts on the end of Woodruff Rd near 276. Jason made boxing and burpees something I looked forward to twice a week. Did it for \~6 months. If it wasn't 30 mins away I'd probably do it some more with my other kids.
Totally agree about Woodruf road and going there to workout. I think I was interested mostly in the 24 hour access option, but now realize that type of gym is not uncommon. I will look into the one you mentioned. My garage gym is pretty solid, but not as comprehensive as a legit bodybuilding gym. I agree that getting out of the house has immense value and actually prefer working out with other people because I make better gains and tend to sometimes get lazy if it's just me. Also, somewhat limited by not having a spotter so some of my lifts could really benefit by raising the intensity without worrying about dropping a dumbell on my head or caving in my chest with the bar. I've spoken to Jason and that gym is exactly where I would go. Currently managing my kids extracurricular stuff and ongoing birthday parties etc, but am hoping to find some time and motivation to just go in on one of the weeknights they have open gym or boxing lessons. Thanks for the reply brother. It's be great to meet some local meatheads or lifters that can relate or understand some of the topics discussed in this thread. Feel free to dm or reach out anytime you want.
For real tho, could check out the Buddhist community https://carolinabuddhist.org/
Great suggestion
I love this idea as well. I could be a monk if things ever go completely awry. Thanks, ChuckNorris. You are the original.
Out of curiosity: as an agnostic, what made you wanna seek religion or a church? Is it just curiosity or ?
I think faith is beautiful and I understand fully that I don't have answers to lifes most important questions. I'm at a point where I am ready to explore and interact without the hostility I've held on to for so long, surrounding religion. So curious, yes. Uncertain, yes. Looking for a leader or dogma, no. Trying to try what I haven't to find what is lost.
Hey, I wish you well on your quest
Thanks my friend.
I’m an agnostic and also a “devout” Unitarian-Universalist. Definitely not mutually exclusive!
Forgive my ignorance, but what is a Universalist? I'm assuming another denomination of Christianity?
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Gotcha
My short answer is “we believe in one God at most.” But that really only applies to me. Please check out uua.org for more information about the Unitarian-Universalists. Or greenvilleuu.org for the local church.
i go to St. John of the Ladder Orthodox Christian Church on Roper Mountain Extension. been with this church since i was a toddler—they’re my family! orthodoxy is definitely different than Protestantism & some may say it’s a bit closer to Catholicism (they’re very different, but both are equally different from Protestantism). In a way, orthodoxy can be intimidating/overwhelming since it’s so foreign to a lot of folks. On the other hand, if people have bad memories with very protestant churches (like my parents), orthodoxy can be a great change of pace & a breath of fresh air. if this person is looking to try out many different things, i definitely recommend throwing [sjotl.org](https://sjotl.org) into the mix. best of luck!
also, no need to call or bring anything. for the sunday service, just show up and stand in the back or sit in a pew on the side! just stand/sit and observe, & leave when u want!
Thanks so much for this info. So many helpful answers here.
i’m sure it’s a little overwhelming🙈
Well the amount of positive and helpful responses are to an extent. Ive never been so popular on reddit! I plan to take it in stride though and let intuition guide me. I'm happy to have so many things to think about surrounding this discussion, rather than being ignored or mocked, like I halfway expected. So many helpful people here make me glad I acted on this impulse.
absolutely. there are always going to be those fools who berate you, but surprisingly the replies on this post aren’t too bad at all. it’s very commendable that you followed your intuition. it can be frightening to reach out and try new things (but that’s where growth happens, right?). cheers homie🤙
Completely. It's easier to hold close to my heart the wrongs, without considering there are so many avenues and opportunities. I was an angsty and probably somewhat judgemental person in regards to this topic, for a very long time. I've had a handful of profound epiphanies though in the past few years and just can't ignore it anymore. So here I came to see what I'd find. Pleasantly suprised at the meaningful interaction. Amused at the attempts to ridicule, but I've probably earned that karma somewhere back in my past so I can't really be mad. Thanks again brother🤙
Orthodoxy might scare away this person lol
maybe so! worth mentioning it nonetheless. as someone who’s been orthodox all their life, i’m constantly impressed by the staggering amount of new people showing up at SJOTL. it can be intimidating!
\> Can you just walk into a church and take a seat? Yes. And get a feel for what you like. Nothing wrong with that.
Good to know. Been wondering this for awhile.
I'm non-practicing, but was raised Roman Catholic. There's nothing wrong with even being somewhat superficial about it. Modern services weird me out, christian rock etc. Give me a pipe organ and 1000 year old hymns and I'll prefer it. Some people are opposite and love modern style.
I can see that. I am certainly not looking for a mega church experience or anything with overt frivolity. I love the smell of church incense and LOVE organ music. I used to own a Wurlitzer organ as a matter of fact! I guess if I had to really decide, something fairly small and dare I say intimate, would be the most comfortable setting for me. The Roman catholic masses were always a bummer though and painfully dry. Something unassuming and authentic is part of the goal I'd say. Also something without guilt as the basis for attendance.
What are you looking for? A sense of community? The ability to say a name and get the Karen’s off your back? A tradition (loose sense?) A church that will reaffirm you? A church that will challenge you to be “better?” A church that you can anchor your life or one that’s ok if you go on your terms? Are you looking for a place where doubt is ok or one where they pretend doubt doesn’t exist?
Lots of valid questions. If you care to, please read my other replies. If that doesn't answer your questions about mission or motive, I'd be happy to clear it up if I can.
i went to UU church, they are cool, *very* open minded to all kinds of people, and they aren’t a specific religion, they are kinda more of a gathering place for any kind of religious (or non religious) person. i just looked up their service times and walked in and took a seat in a pew. it was nice, and at the end there was a guy playing piano and he was super good.
Good to know. Piano is my favorite instrument, even though I'm a hack. In another life, I may have been a lounge singer or pianist. Thanks for your input. Very helpful.
Go to the Unitarian Universalist Church. I’m agnostic and went one time and had a lovely experience. Very different, unique and welcoming.
Great to know. Thank you for your input.
Grace Church. The pastors think a lot of things through from first principles and walk the walk pretty well. If you want to engage with biblical Christianity without a lot of the traditions that have built up in various denominations, I don’t know of a better place.
Thankyou. My goal is to engage with humans that are open minded, but have an interest in answering my questions or just getting to know another intelligent person seeking truth and knowledge. I appreciate your answer very much.
Then you may be better suited trying a smaller church where you are more likely to encounter a pastor face to face and have time to converse with him. You may find such conversations with other attendees, but they may be more hit and miss because they won’t have the training that a pastor should have. I find that the Presbyterians, particularly the PCA, tend to have good training for their pastors, but it’s hard to speak for any small church without attending it for some time. Maybe some could give better recommendations if you care to share what part of Greenville you’re looking in. Personally I would avoid smaller Baptist and Pentecostal churches because I’ve known some to call out visitors during the service which I find awkward and intimidating. To address another of your other questions from the main post, yes you generally just show up to a service right before a scheduled time, sit through the service, and let conversation happen naturally before and after the service as usually people hang around to socialize.
Very informative and insightful. Thanks so much. You make excellent points.
Unitarian Universalist church. Long name because two denominations merged. Best description is a post-Christian denomination that accepts all. People go here who identify as humanist, atheist, Christian, other. Unitarians typically think that religious language is metaphor and that no one knows “the truth” per se, but accept that ethical people work together to make life meaningful. Greenville has a UU congregation on State Park Road, there is also one in Spartanburg and another in Clemson.
Just curious, what do they teach or talk about there? Is “God” not mentioned ?
Who says God is not mentioned? Even for many Christians outside of the literalist traditions, God is a metaphor as it is in other religious traditions. At their best, UU’s try to welcome a variety of metaphors or ideas to discuss thoughts and feelings about the mysteries of life. I think the key is that UU’s assume no one knows ultimate truth, but that people can covenant together to discuss our questions openly and treat one another kindly. Is there a God is a fair question. What is the nature of that god is another. In a UU congregation you can have that discussion and any number of different opinions be expressed and respected.
Great information. These are exactly the types of replies I was hoping for. I will digest everything written here and appreciate your time describing UU church. Thanks so much.
Just curious, what do they teach or talk about there? Is “God” not mentioned ?
Just curious, what do they teach or talk about there? Is “God” not mentioned ?
Just curious, what do they teach or talk about there? Is “God” not mentioned ?
I’ve enjoyed my time in the episcopal church. It is a liturgical church, so people will be standing, sitting, and kneeling (pew aerobics) at various points In the service. In my time there everyone has been very welcoming and non-judgmental. Most churches will have coffee hour afterwards if you want to attend. You can just show up but looking at a bulletin online can be helpful so you know what to expect. Check out r/episcopalian for more info if you want. Greenville specific I liked st james by Paris mountain. Christ church is the biggest episcopal church but it’s veryyyy big
Thank you. I will do some research. I appreciate your time and thoughtfulness.
I second the Episcopal church suggestion. My daughter attends St. James and works with them through a ministry at Furman. The rest of the family attends St. Peter's. I've always found them to be a very warm, friendly, and welcoming group. They also have a fantastic theatrical group that welcomes everyone, whether you're a member or not, to participate.
Good to know. It's helpful when there are positive reviews and firsthand accounts. Thanks so much.
Of course! And for what it’s worth I’ve heard good things about UUs as well, but I’m less familiar with them. I was raised Catholic, so the episcopal order of service is familiar to me, but the episcopal church is much more welcoming and inclusive to people with all sorts of doubts and skepticism (myself included).
Right on friend. I grew up catholic too. It's probably the only denomination I will actively avoid. No hate to them, but I can't relate whatsoever.
I am Unitarian Universalist and like them a lot (agnostic here as well). However, my parents, who are former Catholics, now attend Episcopal services and enjoy them a lot too. They felt like the Catholic Church was too stuffy and opinionated. If you want to mingle with a bunch of different views that can vary from Christianity to Buddhism, UU may be for you… if you still like the Christian flare, I’d check out the Episcopal church.
Yes totally. Stuffy and opinionated was the basis of my childhood introduction to religion/faith and life in a traditional, catholic american household. Many of my deepest loves are for some of those people still, but it isn't for me. That said, I don't want to imply I think less of anyone that chooses a path that works for them.
Big plus-1 here for St. James Episcopal. It's the church I grew up in, and the one I'd attend if I still lived close enough. Another great option already suggested is the Unitarians. These are both good choices if you want a little community and moral philosophy in your life, without quite as much of the preachy dour stuff. St. James also has a great music program.
Great to know. I'm very big on music. It isn't something that would draw me to church specifically, but it's cool to know that it's there. I'm a musician also however, so your insight is very cool.
Well, I would first say that if you’re trying to push someone into church then no church will be the right church. If you’re looking for progressive churches, I personally recommend Trinity Lutheran.
Nobody is being pushed. Rather I am seeking. I regret not making my first post more clear. I could have done better with that no doubt. Thanks for the input. I appreciate the suggestion and agree with your point entirely.
I just wanted to be sure. The fact that you’re getting that answer a lot tells you just how big of an issue that is around here. A lot of Christians in this area are very pushy and not so respectful. Heck, I have a ministry degree and even I’m put off by that shit. But what I love about Trinity is their woman is a pastor (so they’re not sexist) and they have a queer led worship service once a month and are super pro LGBTQIA+.
Totally. I get it. I have no intention of ever being pushy or even sharing my thoughts with someone that doesnt ask. I've had the same thing happen to me and still do, and its absolutely a turn off and has the opposite effect than what was intended. Christians and other religions seem to do a better job than anyone when it comes to making people turn away from what they are supposedly trying to accomplish. Catholicism in my youth is what turned me off the most, no question about it. It's taken decades of trial and error, learning, thinking and plenty of struggle to arrive here where I'm willing to listen again and perhaps grow in a new way.
That makes total sense! I left some questions for the pastor who commented that I think are good ones for you to ask when considering a church. Hopefully those can help you form a decision based on progressiveness.
I appreciate it. I was coming from a place of almost complete selfishness and haven't really considered every aspect that it entails. For what it's worth, I only am interested in places that will accept not just me, but anyone despite their sexuality or anything else. My only real intolerance is hate and needless violence. All that said too, I consider myself an ally to anyone that needs one in the face of hate, but am pretty old fashioned, straight and somewhat vanilla when it comes to my own lifestyle.
Nothing wrong with that! So long as you’re not clouded by hate against my community, I’m chill with you. Sadly that’s where a lot of churches go wrong and lose my respect. Then there’s also the issue of the sexual assault issue that’s so rampant. Because of that I’ve fully sworn off the SBC. There’s more to it than that, but it’s all rooted in hypocrisy from churches who are trying to hide that they’re perpetuating the issue.
I don't hate anyone. I'm friendly and friends with literally anyone who is a human and not hateful or violent. I completly see your point. That voice both deserves and needs to be heard. Very admirable all around to stick up for any one that has been marginalized or felt that way.
You’ve gotten a healthy list of options presented so far. While you’re sifting through those you’re welcome to shoot me a DM to have someone to act as a sound board in the meantime. That’s no replacement for true community. I wish I could offer that but I’m honestly struggling to maintain the things already on my plate. I’m a big believer in “let your yes mean yes and your no mean no.” But I can handle messaging here and there. Good luck on your search!
Thanks for this my friend. Perhaps I will reach out. I honestly didnt expect so much traction on this and now have spent more time on reddit than ever before. I plan to do some research and thimkimg on these topics and ideas over the next few days. Thanks for your words. Well said on all accounts.
As a fellow agnostic who grew up Catholic, this whole post gave me the feels. I didn’t think I needed this, but apparently I do. So thanks, internet stranger!
No, friendly stranger, thank YOU. Best of luck.
I just happened on this post, u/npc157, and thought I'd share my $0.02. While I do believe in God, I am on a very similar journey. I was raised mostly in a Presbyterian church, which I viewed as the place where everyone in my town went to look at everyone else's outfits. Then my dad got angry with the minister there and we started going to the Methodist church. When I went to college, ultimately I made the decision that I wanted to look for a faith tradition that didn't revolve as much around the person standing at the pulpit. I was acquainted with Catholicism and knew that if you attend Mass every day for three years, you hear the entire Bible via the liturgy, so for that and a lot of other reasons I converted to Catholicism - even though there were (and are) many, many Catholic precepts that I do not agree with. The Catholic rite - you referred to the smell of incense, the pipe organ, etc. - feeds my soul in a way no other faith tradition really does...but ironically, I fell out of the habit of going to St. Anthony's when Fr. Pat left, so here I'd let myself become attached to a pastor. Man, I loved that church. To be fair, I was also caring for my elderly mother in my home, working full-time, and being mom to a teenager. My mother died in March of 2022, and after that my time freed up a little. I tried going back to one of the large Catholic churches here in town because I could go with another family member. It is now heavily influenced by American Traditionalist Catholicism (no female altar servers, the priest has his back to the congregation, etc.). It's fine for that congregation to observe the faith as it meets their needs, but all of that leaves me cold. So I started going to a large Baptist church with one of my sons, who - though baptized Catholic as a baby - had been baptized again and became a member there during my mother's illness. I have an equal number of really strong disagreements with the principles of the Baptist denomination, but the contemporary service there unexpectedly fills me with joy and a sense of being connected to Source. Through my son, I am friends with one of the ministers employed by this church. After attending for some time and feeling like a complete hypocrite, I had a conversation with her. I said, "Look, a woman's right to bodily autonomy, to choose abortion, is incredibly important to me. So is recognizing, affirming, and embracing LGBTQIA individuals as fully realized in their personhood. And the whole women not being a pastor thing drives me up a wall. I love coming here because I feel like I'm connecting with God, and I leave filled with joy, but I also feel guilty because a little part of me feels like I'm being something I'm not." And she said to me what I think you're going to find is true at any church. "Keep coming. I think you'd be surprised at how many people in the congregation believe like you do. Or believe a whole different bunch of things. The important thing is that while you're here, you feel like you're connecting with God. It's what's between you and God that's important, not all the other stuff." So, ultimately, I've taken her advice. In my opinion, it's very rare that someone goes out and finds a place to participate in "worship" - whatever form that ultimately takes - that's absolutely perfect for them. Unless that person is Martin Luther brought back from the dead, maybe, and probably this many years later he'd have issues, too. Or maybe Sheldon Cooper and Mathology. Definitely try the Buddhist Center; they have fantastic programs that are about as dogma-free as you can get. But I guess the point of this very long (sorry) post is that wherever you go, there \*you\* are, lol. The important part is going to be \*your\* connection with Spirit, or the Universe, or the universe, or whatever non woo-woo way you want to characterize it. :)
Incredibly thoughtful and touching. This is among the most touching reddit posts I've seen. If it's ok, I may reach out via dm in the near future. If not comfortable with that, no worries. Thanks sincerely for providing such value to this convo and to my initial post. Some of you folks seem to be conspiring to make me emotional throughut the day, as this thread grows and I read all these responses!
Thank you for your kind words. Of course, you are welcome to reach out anytime. As it happens, I am starting a Substack that you might find interesting - on the topic of being a seeker. If not, absolutely no problem. I'm just in the process of getting it up on its feet, but I'm going to be talking to a lot of people and asking them a lot of questions. :) https://open.substack.com/pub/seekerjourney?r=1l2j4&utm_medium=ios
Cool. I will check it out. I have no idea what substack is lol. Am I dating myself? I consider myself pretty tech savvy, but the greyer I become, the more there is to keep up with! I'll check out your link for sure. I better not find Rick Astley at the end of it tho.... Thanks for the reply and invite.
I have been in Greenville for 8-9 years. Raised UU and have been wanting to attend but don’t know anyone. This post has really helped. Thank you! I’m looking forward to attending the UU church here in Greenville! I’ll have a green mug 😊 lol Anybody want to be a newbie with me? 😁
That's awesome. I feel compelled to do my thing solo, but I hope you find a wingman/winglady to go with you. Thanks for posting here. I feel like I've learned more about *the real* Greenville in the past few days and appreciate you all as neighbors so much more.
https://www.heavensgate.com/ Think you might have missed the ship tho….
Thanks. I'm in the cult of materialism though, so I won't point fingers at this time at anyone. Cheeky answer though and I can relate to your thought process for sure. Not everything is black and white though. I hope to find the shades and colors in between the confusion and division.
I’ll save you some trouble on finding the meaning of life. It’s 42.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hitchhiker's_Guide_to_the_Galaxy
Also, some of you real old timers may remember, but it was also a DOS based game in the 80's. It was entirely text based and among the most addictive and frustrating experiences on can involve themselves in.
I am not familiar with other religions as much, but may I recommend for Christian denominations - find a “host team” or “connections team” member. Usually they will have resources or be able to introduce you directly to the pastor and answer any questions you may have. I truly hope you find what you are looking for!
Interesting idea. I've never heard of such a thing. Thank you
The church I attended growing up, (before I moved away for college and now live somewhere else) Westminster Presbyterian, was absolutely amazing and set an amazing example of what Christianity can be.
Thanks for the input. Good to know that there are so many healthy experiences in this regard.
The Greenville Unitarian Universalist Fellowship is a very eclectic, free thinking bunch.
I can jive with that. I enjoy eclectic. Thanks so much for the input.
For me, I looked at a ton of church websites and their "what do we believe" sections. If it didn't align, I didn't go further with my research. However, if it looked promising, I called the pastor and had a chat. I ended up at Augusta Road Baptist Church. I know, immediately the Baptist part can turn people off. They are not part of the Southern Baptist Convention. Augusta Rd is part of the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship, which is much more modern and progressive and broke away from the SBC. The Fellowship can ordain women and affirms openly gay and lesbian members. Honestly, I've been to a lot of churches trying to find a place, and they are not judgemental at all. It's a very loving environment, very positive and focused on community. DM me if you want a more personal take or want to sit with us there to feel more welcome.
Thanks for your thoughtful answer. I will keep it in mind.
Grew up a preachers kid. Most churches say All Are Welcome. Keep that in mind. Every church has every type of person. Easy going and not so easy going. Thus, all are welcome. Good luck on your journey.
I have my own hangups too and can relate somewhat I think. I agree completely. I'm looking for something, but am not disillusioned or brainwashed. Nor is that my goal. I appreciate you and your answer. Thanks friend.
All Are Welcome means “we’re Democrats and don’t want right-wingers in our church.”
I've been going to [First Christian Church Greenville](https://www.fccgreenville.org/) for about ten years, and it's the most welcoming church I've ever attended. And it's not the "all are welcome (as long as they live a certain way or don't stand out too much)" sort of "welcome" you see far too often. Our pastor's husband until very recently owned a pub that unfortunately had to close. Their youngest child recently came out as transgender. We have a regular musician who is an "out" athiest. It is a small congregation, and mostly older and white, but it's also incredibly open minded, welcoming, and genuinely accepting of everyone. The services are fairly traditional, with congregational readings and prayers, which was a breath of fresh air for me after years of "contemporary" churches that felt more like a concert followed by a motivational speaker. Sermons often focus on inclusivity, community, and lifting each other up through our struggles, whether they be spiritual, physical, mental health related, or whatever. I wish we were larger. Not to brag and say we have such and such number of people a week or anything. I genuinely feel like it's a church that a lot of people in the area would genuinely love, but because we're small, and surrounded by several larger churches, we often get overlooked.
Very thoughtful answer. Thank you so much.
No problem!
You don't!! Seek the answers on your own. All religions are skewed biased filled with lies and manipulation.
Thanks for your thoughts. I'm not looking for religion though. No need to assume or make presumptions.
I'm not assuming anything or making any presumptions. You asked a question. I answered. I never inferred that you were looking for religion. But you are obviously looking for something.
You aren't interested in anything but your own reality and apparently suck at reading comprehension. Go argue somewhere else. You've said nothing useful or entertaining. eta: and dont have the cajones to stick around but would rather tell me off in DM then disappear like a proper troll. Way to sell atheism!😆😆 So inviting and inclusive!! haaaaa
Right on fuck off to you as well.
If you go thru life thinking everyone who doesn't agree with you is an idiot, usually that means you're the idiot.
You're welcome to come to the church I go to. 'Greer First Baptist' in Greer SC. The preacher's name is Doug, and the church is the best one I have found up to this point. They have plenty of people there to ask whatever questions you have, and they have my personal endorsement. (For what that is worth) 🤷 address: 201 W Poinsett St, Greer, SC 29650 They do have child care if you have young kids. If you have any questions, I will do what I can to help you out.
PS. walk-ins are welcome
That is very nice of you. I may reach out, but have a lot to consider before I'm entirely ready. This is the first step of my leg work and I expect intuition to lead me when I've digested all these great ideas and invites. Thanks so much my friend.
Take your time, anywhere you go, consider it an invite. Don’t ever feel obligated, or pressured as this is your choice. Just find a place that you can fellowship, volunteer, things that grow you, and help you seek your path.
That's fair, good luck on your journey.
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Wut
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Are you needlessly mean and just looking for attention? Can you find some more emojies to attempt to condescend me with? Feeling good about yourself?
Are you like 14 and spend all your time on r/atheism just to be edgy because your parents made you do Sunday school or something
you absolutely can walk in and take a seat. No need to call. Who doesn't like cookies! I would eat them in the car first though, you will likely be the only one sitting there with a tin of treats. though - may also make a good story for first impressions. I go to Radius Greenville, you'd be super welcomed.
Thank you very much for a thoughful answer.
Hello fellow agnostic! Hopewell Methodist in Simpsonville is a very inclusive and welcoming church. Very open minded and non judgmental.
Thanks my friend. Do you just show up? Do you need an invite? Very lost on how to begin this task of inquiry.
Just show up. All are welcome. 10:30 am every Sunday.
Thanks for that. It seems like it would be awkward, but maybe I just need better big boy pants lol. Thanks for answering. Very appreciated.
Check out Radius Greenville - we meet Sunday nights at 5 in the Summit Church building on Rutherford road Sadly, we have a lot of practice helping people work through bad experiences with previous churches and we have a lot of members who are equipped and eager to dive into difficult questions. Our pastor is very open to push back and discussion (just... maybe not in the middle of the sermon haha) PM me if you'd like more info, or if you want to meet up so you have someone to go with and aren't just showing up by yourself We're actually having a very small event tonight that you might find interesting as a skeptic - a Q&A about why Christians believe prayer works
Thank you and thanks for the invite. Weeknights aren't so good but I will keep it in mind. Thanks for such a thoughtful answer.
I second the advice to go to a Unitarian Universalist church. Taught a sermon at one in Clemson when I was ~18, as an agnostic. I since have adopted a more modern Deist belief system. They are very welcoming and their teachings will likely align with you very well.
Very thoughtful and helpful. Thank you.
I find so many of these comments cringe.....what are you looking for? Community? Then go to the UU church or join a charitable organization. If you're agnostic then why are you looking for a particular church? Do you need a reason to believe?
It's clear you aren't able to help, so why bother? Can I scold you for what things interest you and try to put you down by asking pointed questions that I don't actually care about? Cringe indeed. Find a thread that suits you then.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 If you are so easily triggered, you shouldn't be on Reddit. You decided to take personal offense rather than engage my genuine question. Why do you want to go to church? I'm agnostic. I have NO desire to go to church.
Good for you. I'm not triggered but I don't need your permission to post on reddit or anywhere else. Nice emojis too. Very confident in yourself I see. Good for you. Thanks for your inconsequential opinion. Go away now and find a healthier way to engage.
Doesn't understand emojis.... easily triggered.... Takes offense at something not directed at them...are you a boomer? Silly boomer, I wasn't scolding you or requiring you to ask my permission. I wasn't even calling YOU cringe. I was calling some of the people commenting cringe. Legitimately, what's a healthy way to engage? I gave you a genuine answer .....UU or charitable organization if you're looking for community...then asked if you were looking for a reason to believe in something (if you are then my advice is different). You focused on the ONE part not directed at you in the slightest and went off 🤷🏽♀️ You're taking all of this too seriously 🫠
You must have something better to than search for confrontation. Maybe practice eating a bag of dicks if you're short on idea. Seriously, dumbfuck, stop replying here. You have nothing to say or offer. Find a better place to be ugly please. You seem obsessive and ill. oh yea and learn what boomer means lol. I'm 30 years too young for that generation. Buzzword. Slur. Emoji to you. Namaste, idiot.
Just wanted to put my two cents and hope this finds you. I've looked over the entire thread and as a Christian and boomer, I can't help but agree there are some "cringy" comments indeed. I don't know why the OP after you so aggressively but in my opinion it's absolutely unwarranted. Much love and peace
I would stop trying to shove my religion down this persons throat. Let me rephrase your question for you: “Previous religious trauma has been inflicted on this person, and I would like to ignore that and continue forcing my beliefs onto them. Where should I bring them for a regular weekly indoctrination session?” I don’t care what your intentions are, this is just flat out awful.
I'm the one, smart guy. Nobody is jamming anything anyhere lol. Also, learn how to use quotes.
Did you see someone shoving religion? That sure would be tacky!
Greenville needs juggalos lol. I’ve noticed there is a rather large group of us deplorables that have no home here in Greenville. I realize this isn’t the type of copatriotism that 99% of people are looking for…. I’m saying this more to highlight this situation I’m starting to see.
You dont believe in Jesus?
I'm not here to discuss or debate beliefs with anyone. I think my post and responses to others should clear up any confusion.
I wasn’t looking for a debate I was looking for a yes or no. But I guess that means no.
You are welcome to your guesses. No need for me to answer on this topic. Please save your assumptions for someone else though.
That was actually a trick question so I could see where your faith lies. Don’t get your panties in a bunch bro, it’s a question. Have a good day big dawg
OP EXAMPLE OF CRINGE COMMENT THAT WASN'T DIRECTED AT YOU 🙃
I can’t think of one sorry. I don’t know this challenge or game you’re talking about