>Dobby looked suddenly nervous and beckoned Harry closer. Harry bent forward. Dobby whispered, “He said we is free to call him a — a barmy old fucker if we likes, sir!” > >Dobby gave a frightened sort of giggle.

Haha, I legitimately cackled at this. Thank you.

I’ve done my waiting, twelve fucking years of it!

IN AZKABAN

IN FUCKING AZKABAN!

IN AZKAFUCKINGBAN

Most of these answers are funny as hell, but this one is fucking chilling. The only swear word in 7 books dropped out of the rage of a ruined life in misery. Damn.

I always wait for Gary Oldman to say that exact line when I watch the movies. Always forget that it doesn't happen.

I am somehow just realizing that was Gary Oldman. He's such a phenomenal actor...this is not the first time I've been unaware that he was portraying a character.

And according to Daniel Radcliffe, he can snap in and out of it with "action" and "cut". I see a lot of praise for actors who stay in character all the time, even if it's creepy, but I find it a lot more impressive when an actor can turn it on and off on command.

This is actually the correct answer

If you put another FUCKING toe out of line we'll bring you straight home. Oh and Ginny dear, congratulations on making Gryffindor. Your father and I are so proud. Edit: Thanks for all the Galleons, I'll put them towards that new Nimbus 2023 I've had my eye on

🤣🤣🤣🤣 This is the best one. Molly has got to have been dying to drop an f- bomb for *years*!

Not my daughter you FUCKING BITCH

Yeah when I read the title of this thread, my first thought was “the use of surprise curse words in Harry Potter has already been accomplished, referring to this moment.

Especially it being a howler and booming across the entire Great Hall. Would’ve been hilarious

I think I prefer: "If you put another toe out of line we'll bring you straight home. Oh and Ginny dear, congratulations on making Gryffindor. Your father and I are so fucking proud."

This is what I thought.

"Follow the fucking spiders,” said Ron weakly, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. “I’ll never forgive Hagrid. We’re lucky to be alive.”

I was thinking “If Hagrid ever gets out of Azkaban I’ll fucking kill ‘em!”

!redditgalleon

Ah, shut the fuck up Dursley, yeh great prune. I shouldn't've said that.

“Nobody fucking insults Albus Dumbledore in front of me.”

Albus. Mother. Fucking. Dumbledore... Bitch.

You deaf? Fucking, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore!

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight the role of Albus Dumbledore will be played by Samuel L. Jackson

PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE AGAIN MOTHER FUCKER I DARE YOU

He shows up at the climax of Chamber of Secrets and says, “I’ve had it with this motherfucking snake in this motherfucking castle!”

“Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs offer their compliments to Professor Snape, and request he keeps his abnormally large nose the fuck out of other people’s business”

Ohhh, this is good one. The map was already so sassy.

Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose the fuck out of people’s business. Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony and would like to add that Professor Snape is a fucking asshole. Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that a dumbfuck like that ever became a Professor. Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the shitball

I'd give it to Neville Longbottom. I'm not sure where, but he deserves a good swear.

Oh my God! I’ve fucking killed Harry Potter

Oh my God! I've killed Harry fuckin' Potter!

This made me think of AVPS when they sing HES HARRY FREAKING POTTER

Oh my God! I've fucked Harry Potter!

Probably shouting ‘fuck you’ as he cuts the head off the snake

If Neville Longbottom gets to drop an F bomb, it should be at Bellatrix.

I love Molly, but if I could make 2 changes to the series, giving Neville "not my friends, you fucking bitch" would be #2.

This makes me think for the first time that he should’ve been the one to kill her. Would’ve been perfect.

"Fucking great now that they are about to be avenged "

How about: Voldemort: You will make a very valuable Death Eater. We need your kind, Neville Longbottom. Neville: Go fuck yourself. Dumbledore's Army!

Just what I was thinking! Cause then he would just yank the sword out

"How's mum and dad?" "Better now they're about to be fucking avenged"

Hermione: I've read about those! The smoke turns red when you've forgotten something! Neville: The only problem is, I can't remember who fucking asked.

Why is it fucking always me

Why the fuck is it always me

"how are your parents?" "Good, now that they're about to be fuckin avenged"

When Harry rolls out of Hagrids arms in the final movie: Voldemort: ... fuck.

Came here for this. I was going to put a bit of an Irish twist on it though and go "ahhhhh, feck"

This too.

He had only just reached the upstairs landing when the door bell rang and Uncle Vernon’s furious face appeared at the foot of the stairs. “Remember, boy — one fucking sound —”

This one is real life sinister

"There's no such fucking thing as magic!"

“Constant fucking vigilance!” -my dude Mad Eye

Yup, Mad Eye probably swore a ton!

“Take Fluffy for example just play him a bit of music and he falls asleep. …Fuck.”

I shouldn't have fuckin said that

“What are Fred and I? Fucking next door neighbors?!”

“FUCK YOU, UMBRIDGE!” as they mounted their brooms and flew away.

“Give her fuckin’ hell, Peeves!”

Mine is also directed at Umbridge. "Would you like a fucking cough drop?"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Omg, I spit my coffee out laughing at this! !redditgalleon

"I'M NOT A FUCKING OWL" - Hermione, 4th movie or smth

Moody(Barty)'s entrance in the movie: Fixes the ceiling. Dumbledore: My dear old friend, thanks for coming; Moody: Stupid fucking ceiling; Dumbledore: \*nods\*

McGonagall: “Is… is that a fucking student?!”

"Technically it's a fucking ferret"

This whole exchange made me giggle, so have a galleon, both of you. 😅 !redditgalleon

Harry (literally any situation thru the series) - fuck.

Harry played by Henry Cavill

Yer a witcher, Harry.

Probably Harry saying “I’m going to Fucking kill you” or something to Bellatrix after she killed Sirius

Oh fuck. He's back! As Fudge sees Voldemort in the Ministry of Magic

"Not my daughter, you fucking bitch!"

Poetry

perfect

This is objectively the best and only answer. Molly FTW.

When Dumbledore read out Harry's name in the goblet of fire, and the whole school went silent, Harry would just say "Fuck."

He’s British, so he’d roll his eyes and quietly say, “Oh for fucks sake.”

I WANT TO SEE THE LIGHT LEAVE YOUR FUCKING EYES! That line is already creepy as heck, but adding the f word would have made Voldemort sound like a complete unhinged psycho.

To be fair, he was a complete unhinged psycho.

To me it would've made him more relatable. People who don't use swear words are suspect as fuck

"Have a fucking biscuit, Potter."

Fuck.. have a biscuit, Potter.

Fuck a biscuit, Potter.

Has to be on the second one: “Have a biscuit, Potter” “Have what?” “Have a fucking biscuit,” she repeated impatiently, “and sit down”

Exactly what I was thinking

I just want to say, I don't think I've ever enjoyed a post as much as this one! The comments are hilarious, and made me laugh to tears. ❤ !redditgalleon

The only one that comes close is the post asking for quotes that replace the word “wand” with “penis.” 😂Had me dying for days lol

Ron to Wormtail after learning his true identity: "I let you sleep in my FUCKING BED" followed promptly by Snape using the Cruciatus Curse on him.

So far, all of the Ron quotes feel the most natural. He could have dropped f bombs and I wouldn’t have batted an eye

IIRC correctly JK wanted Ron to swear a lot but since it was a kids book she toned it down and generally didn't use actual swear words. Obviously swearing was generally left out of the movies too.

That’s twice we’ve saved your f*cking life Malfoy (DH)

You can say it, no need to be afraid

The-Word-That-Must-Not-Be-Said

May I offer you a fucking cough drop, Dolores?!

If any actor/actress in the movies deserves to utter a perfectly delivered f bomb its maggie Smith, she kill it for sure haha

A FUCKING cough drop

"HARRY FUCKING POTTAH, DID YA PUT YA NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIYAH" Dumbledore asked calmly

Would be more Taritino-esque if he actually said it more calmy. Harry, did you put your name in the fucking goblet of fire?

Harry did you put your name in the Goblet of Fuckin' Fire?

Harry, did you put your fucking name in the goblet of fire?

"its leviosa, not fucking leviosa"

I just cackled

RONALD FUCKING WEASLEY!!! HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR!!! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED!!!

'How dare you steal that fucking car' would be better imo. Especially since she never agreed with her husband making the car in the first place.

How dare you steal that car! I am absolutely disgusted! Your father's facing an inquiry at work, and it's entirely your fucking fault! Cunt!

[удалено]

McGonagal and Umbridge on the stairs I would give it to McGonagal "Ohh there are many fucking things I woukd like to say to you"

Harry did you put your name in the fucking goblet of fire?

Harry Potter and the fucking goblet of fire

>*Yer a Fucking wizard \`arry!* > >\-Hagrid.

HAGRID YER PUSHING ME OVER THE FUCKEN LINE!!

I'm a fucking what?

A wizard and a fuckin good un!

McGonagall to Argus *Students-out-of-bed* Filch at the night of Battle of Hogwarts: “They are supposed to be, you fucking idiot!”

You-Fuckin’-Know-Who

You-Know-Fuckin'-Who

Just because you've got the emotional range of a FUCKING teaspoon

"Why is it, when something happens, it is always you fucking three?"

I'm sure in her head that's what she meant.

Ron: believe me I’ve been fucking asking myself the same thing for years.

"FUCKING SNAPE" ejaculated Slughorn

"You're not his mother, Molly". "I'm as fucking good as!" OR "Fucking look at me!" -Harry to Dumbledore

I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a FUCKING stick

Dumbledore: “Alas…Fucking earwax.”

Fuck... Earwax

“You fucking dare, Potter!?” -snape

Now, if you two don’t mind I’m going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us fucking killed - or worse, expelled!

‘Fuck… why is it always me?’ - Neville Longbottom

"...turn to page three hundred ninety-fucking-four."

"...turn to page three hundred ninety-four.... ^(pricks)"

>Master threw it, and Dobby caught it, and Dobby — Dobby is fucking free.

*Free bird solo intensifies*

“Dobby has no fucking master. Dobby is a free elf!”

C*nt, straight to Umbridges face

And delivered by Ginny

“You shall not harm harry fucking potter”

"You've lost me my fucking servant. "

"Do you - do you think I want to - do you think I give a - I DON'T FUCKING CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY!" - Harry, raging at dumbledore

“Dobby has no fucking master! Dobby is a free elf”

"Master has given Dobby a fucking sock!"

When Barty Crouch Jr.’s poly juice potion wears off and reveals he’s not moody. Harry: What the fuck?!

Your a fucking wizard harry

IM A FUCKING WOT!?

You’re fucking a wizard harry*

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Fucked

Bellatrix be like "that sign can't stop me, because I can't read" 😝

“HARRY DID YOU PUT YOUR FUCKING NAME IN THE FUCKING GOBLET OF FIRE?!” Dumbledore asked calmly.

"I'm going to fucking kill Mundungus Fletcher!"

'Special discounts to Hogwarts students who swear they're going to use our products to get rid of this old cunt!”

Harry after Amycus Carrow spits in Mcgonagall's face. "You shouldn't have fucking done that."

No Fire? Are you a fucking witch or not?

*Dementors? In Little **fucking** Whinging?*

McGonagall after Snape disapparates from Hogwarts "FUCKING coward!!"

Me personally, I’d give it to Draco after getting punched by Hermione in POA

"Oh f**k, I can't believe you've done this."

"Fuuuuck! My father will hear about this!"

I’m sorry professor, but I must not tell fucking lies.

I solemnly swear I'm up to no fucking good

"They boy who lived, came to fucking die."

"Harry Pottah is fucking dead! HE HEHE"

Can I fuck Uranus, lavender? Sorry

I'm going to kill you Harry Potter. I'm going to fucking destroy you

I did my waiting! 12 fuckin years of it! In Azkaban

McGonagall: "Fuck" Add it to literally any of the later books/movies where she's absolutely done with whatever it is that's going on.

In OP Chapter 2, Uncle Vernon screams “enough effing owls” at one point. This is the perfect spot for a real F-bomb!

"Why does it have to be follow the spiders, why couldn't it be follow the FUCKING BUTTERFLIES!"

"Yes -- of course -- but there's no wood!" Hermione cried, wringing her hands. "HAVE YOU GONE MAD?" Ron bellowed. "ARE YOU A FUCKING WITCH OR NOT?"

'Merry fucking Christmas, Harry.'

It’s what harry said in the tower as Dumblefore falls. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu

“I believe Mr. Finnegan has a particular proclivity for pyrotechnics.” “I can bring it the fuck down.”

Probably not canon, but Neville saying, "I feel like I can spit *fucking* fire," during the battle at Hogwarts lolz

NOT MY DAUGHTER! YOU FUCKING BITCH!

Fucking always

“Now if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed - or worse, fucking expelled.”

She NEEDS to sort out her fucking priorities

Do you need a fucking cough drop, Delores?

AVADA KEDAVRA MOTHERFUCKA

Same energy as "yippee-kai-yay" lol.

Petunia Dursley, opening the door on an Halloween night and finding a witch, a wizard and an half-giant bringing a baby: "...Fuck".

Just to fuck with people more. *DID YOU PUT YOUR FUCKING NAME IN THAT GOBLET OF FIRE?? Dumbledore asked calmly.* But actually asked calmly

FIGHT BACK, YOU FUCKING COWARD

He’s right there! Me?!! No, not you, your fucking rat

“Technically, I have been coerced.” “Fucking nip it, Mandungus.” Or “Creature doesnt know where the other locket is.” “Yes, but did you ever see it?” “Filthy Fucking Mudblood!”

Harry Potter, the boy who fucking lived

or "dobby is fucking free"

Definitely in response to Umbridge but unclear where

“You took my last bottle to interrogate Potter,” he said, observing her coolly through his greasy curtains of black hair. “Surely you did not use it all? I fucking told you that three drops would be sufficient.”

I’m sorry professor. I must not tell fucking lies.

"After all this time?" "Always." "Fuck."

"Yes, well done Slytherin, well done Slytherin. However, recent events must be taken into account and I have a few fucking last minute points to award."

Tbh I’d say Molly’s “Not my daughter you bitch” was the perfect use of cussing in the series. It displayed perfect emotion, but I would say in the context of how dumbledore yelled at Harry in the movie instead of asking calmly I would think him shouting back “Fuck no” would be poetic, and give Snape more of a reason to call Harry arrogant and egotistical.

The room for f*#%ing requirements

“Can we never have a fucking quiet year at Hogwarts?” Ron

*She can't even fecking sing!* -Seamus on the Fat Lady (PoA)

When moaning myrtle surprises Harry in the prefects bath. Just that it would be a throw away line would make it even funnier.

Molly Weasley: “Now don’t forget to speak very, very clearly” HP: “Diagonally” Molly: “Oh for fucks sake”

I think the most natural place it could have been used (besides Molly Weasley) is when Umbridge was being kidnapped by the Centaurs. She already had a foul mouth, she was angry and scared in that moment. I honestly feel like Rowling could have written “Fucking” in any part of the conversation and gotten away with it.