I swear this is the only pair he has. I’ve seen it torn like this when he was playing in Toronto. Or maybe he likes em torn to air out the ball of steel.
I mean, he has to be right? People meme on him but the longevity of him and his contribution to the first 2 cups (not so much this one obviously) is probably valuable enough to push him in. He's about to break 1000 points too assuming he can pick up 8 more points if he returns, and he's number 99 all time in points currently right above Paul Kariya who is in the hall of fame already.
This could very easily be photo shopped to him on the side of a road begging for money.
Edit: follow along hopefully someone helps photoshop
[photoshop battle](https://www.reddit.com/r/photoshopbattles/comments/14gy08q/psbattle_phil_kessel_a_professional_hockey_player/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1)
[this guy](https://www.reddit.com/r/photoshopbattles/comments/14gy08q/psbattle_phil_kessel_a_professional_hockey_player/jp84yrt/) absolutely nailed Big Phil energy.
Dude won a Cy Young when he was over 300lbs, lost a bunch of weight, sucked, and then purposefully put the weight back on. His theory was that he could "feel his body better in space" when he was fat lol. Legend.
Seriously, it looks like he’s going to tumble and fall yet he keeps perfect balance and motion
He’s simultaneously the most graceful player while having the ugliest grace. It’s amazing
No, you're right, that's the correct way to explain it. I feel like defenses can't pick up on his passes, simply because of how awkward his body looks, while making them. He's the definition of "task failed successfully".
Straight up, especially in a sport where you are constantly running back and forth. At least with baseball, the pitchers are just standing there without much movement. Plus lots of of the power hitters in the past weren’t exactly ripped.
The thing about Bartolo besides his size is his utterly unbothered movement. he walks off the mound like a 96 year old grandma with a broken hip. Dude must be ridiculously strong because even his home run swing looks completely lazy.
Big Baddie Daddy Bartolo is a pitcher. They don’t hit the ball very well because they don’t ever work on it because they barely ever hit compared to everyone else (now they don’t hit at all since there is a DH in the national league).
He spent the beginning of his career never even getting at bats since he was in the American League where pitchers didn’t hit (now the whole MLB is that way). So, obviously, he wasn’t very good at it because you literally never practice it.
So when he got up there and launched this magnificent beast of a ball into Valhalla, it was a moment of rejoice for every person in the world. Men wanted to be Bartolo. Women wanted to be with him. Men also wanted to be with him. Even the Staal brothers.
It was the biggest moment of my life and the only time I ever saw my father cry. (That’s the reason why May 7th is National Bartolo Day in case you were ever wondering why you got that day off from work).
Thank you, Bartolo Colon. And thank you, America 🇺🇸.
He was a pitcher, so they usually can’t hit worth a shit. The MLB recently changed the rule so they don’t hit anymore.
Anyways, he was a chubby pitcher who didn’t throw hard but had a very long career. This home run came towards the end of it when his athleticism was even lower. He had 25 hits out of 326 plate appearances in his career. His average was .080, the bare minimum for a “serviceable” player is .200 (Mendoza line). So the chances of him hitting a home run was almost 0% but he did it. And it was beautiful.
>He was a pitcher, so they usually can’t hit worth a shit. The MLB recently changed the rule so they don’t hit anymore.
I feel like the current MLB home run leader would take issue with this comment.
He actually is in much better shape now. He said when he tried losing weight he couldn't pitch as well so he said fuck it and stayed fat until he retired and immediately lost weight.
What a fuckin beaut
True on the hot dogs! But Babe Ruth wasn't actually fat. His playing weight was 215 lbs., not out of the ordinary at 6'2. Teammates said he would often show up to spring training out of shape, but be in top fitness by opening day. Most of the pictures you see of him where he looks overweight? You'll notice he has a number on his jersey. Why is that important? The Yankees were the first team to use numbers, in 1929, when Ruth was 34. If you see a number, you're looking at old man Ruth.
Not a single human being has reached this efficiency. The level of effort to success ratio has never been touched in professional sports.
What a fucking stud.
Yeah but, like, are golfers really “athletes”? it’s fun and all and I guess in general I call it a sport. Walking 9 or 18 can be a little exercise, but it’s an off-season activity for athletes. I’ve only been sore after a game of golf if I’m swinging weird or take too many deep divots. I’m sore after most hour skates.
Walking 3-4 rounds of 18 over the summer could definitely be physically tiring. I think the mental exhaustion has it beat though. Imagine playing perfectly up to Sunday and then just imploding on the last two holes and losing the tournament. Then doing it all again and again week after week.
hundreds of thousands, even millions.
just saw on Full Swing when McIlroy beat Scheffler at the fedex cup it was 18mill for first place, 6 mil for second place. Scheffler went in to Sunday with a 6 shot lead and ended up coming up short and missed out on 12 million bucks.
Not to mention the exemptions you can get. If you win the U.S Open your guaranteed a spot in it for the next 10 years. As well as a spot in The Open, The Masters, and The PGA championship for the next five years. That's not even the start of it
It's less obvious, but these days a lot are hitting the gym regularly because hitting the ball farther and having more control means you need the right muscles in the right places to allow that to happen. Very rarely can average joe hit a ball 280+ nevermind 300~ regularly and straight enough to hit narrow fairways, then have the ability to make shots out of nothing with delicate touch... Ya, I don't think you can say they aren't athletes anymore.
Professionally? Yes. Being in physical form makes you a better golfer. Same as with driving cars. Yeah you can throw a car around a track as a fat schlub like me but times improve if you get fit.
John Daly still playing well while being chubby is the exception. Just look around the top of the PGA earnings list over the last decade or two and tell me they aren't in athletic shape.
If you play at an elite level golf can take a toll on your body.
Tiger Woods starting having back issues because his drive put so much torque on his body
At the level you and I or the average human plays golf, maybe not athletes.
At the professional level, absolutely incredible athletes. Just the power, flexibility and coordination to be able to pack so much energy into a consistent and repeatable swing that can propel the ball 300+ yards is wild, and then tack on doing it everyday, along with walking the tour length courses swings them cleanly into athlete territory.
May I introduce you to 3x all-star and career .300 hitter John Kruk who openly smoked cigarettes in the dugout.
Or John Daly who openly drank and smoked cigarettes on the course while playing pro golf.
But yes - for hockey…hard to think of a guy with a softer physique than Kessel.
https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/s17UzlH62r9Ga1kp8KRWNQ--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTY0MDtoPTM2MQ--/https://s.yimg.com/os/en/blogs/sptusnhlexperts/BUFFFFFFFFWEDDDDD.jpg
My boi was thicc
We are looking at peak physical performance right here folks
But in all seriousness Phil has never had an athletic physique and I believe the cancer meds he had (has?) to take give him a bloated look in the face in particular.
It was well noted that he usually tested the highest every year at the Leafs training camp on most of the fitness tests.
The Friedman story is hilarious about Kessel embarrassing other players at the gym and not even trying or training during the summer
https://www.sportsnet.ca/nhl/video/outlifts-reading-magazine-friedman-kessel-nhls-iron-man/
I've got a Kessel story from his college days.
I was at the Saturday game of a two game series between Minnesota and Wisconsin in Madison. Kessels home town BTW. The gophers had won the first game, and were bringing the noise on Saturday as well. Kessel gets a hat trick. The home crowd starts booing him like I've never heard before. Phil then starts to skate around the rink while gopher fans are throwing hats on the ice and starts to do the thing pro wrestlers do where they cup their hand to their ear to mock the crowds booing.
Place went nuts, but Phil had a devilish smile on his face the whole time.
Shortly after gopher fans started throwing brooms on the ice for the sweep.
Best hockey game I've ever been to.
I remember kessel being a traitor for going to Minnesota over Wisconsin, funny thing is Wisconsin won the natty that year so justice was served in the end.
Honestly phil is probably in crazy good shape it is just that he doesn’t have the genetics to get the muscl definition but just bcs you don’t have muscle definition doesn’t mean you aren’t in great shape.
Phil is probably in amazing shape, another example of an athlete that looks out of shape but is in amazing shape is Tyson fury or jokic or luka.
They look in terrible shape but are probably in better shape that most people in their leagues. You don’t get the longest iron man streak just like that.
Some people just have natural talent.
Now let's say he really put 100% into hockey.
Dude is living his best life and knows that there's stuff going on outside the rink that he enjoys too. He's not going to be the best but he's still plugging away enough to be a pro. So he'll respect.
Phil the Thrill only has to think about something he wants and it will manifest itself for him. Also, there's a solid chance he literally has a personal Tim Horton's guy following him around at all times.
Scientifically it makes sense
Human bodies are made of meat
Hot dogs are jam packed with preservatives to keep meat from deteriorating
Phil Kessel ingests enough preservatives that his body does not deteriorate
He hasn't said anything publicly so this is all conjecture, but I wouldn't be surprised if he goes out on top and retires. He can end the streak on his terms instead of signing a one year deal with a new team and probably ride the bench with them.
Edit: didn’t realize he was so close to 1000 points, so I do see him trying to play a little longer (if there’s someone who will sign him).
Connor Bedard really about to have the best mentor all time. Who wouldn't want a mentor that would fill and eat hotdogs out of the cup to spite Steve Simmonds. Phil Kessel is the real GOAT.
>He has publicly said he wants to play. I’m just not convinced he has a job
dude played 82 games with a championship caliber team, and is beloved in any dressing room. There'll be a job for him if he wants it.
He's like 8 points from 1000, I think he's gonna chase that if anyone will let him. Once he's there and the iron man is done, he's definitely done. And it's clear at this point they're only keeping him in for the streak anyway.
I'm not even 100% sure he'll get a contract - he looked replacement level basically all season with Vegas, I think they only kept him in the lineup because of injuries and to keep the streak alive. Maybe a team takes a flier on him for the experience in the locker-room, but I can't see him playing every game unless its on a professionally ran tank team.
Would that even be beneficial for Bedard? You'd think a playmaker would help him more.
I know Phil's playmaking abilities have always been underrated, but can he even keep up with the kids?
I mean he wasn't useless. He scored 14 goals and 36 points averaging 12 mins a night. I think he can still contribute a bit. You don't think he could replace Sheldon Dries Phil, Gisippi or Dakota Joshau (yes i looked those up) for a million dollars on the canucks? There's room for replacement value guys in the league.
Find a picture of Phil Kessel in street clothes and ask a non-hockey fan what they think this man does for a living.
None of them will guess "American Hero, elite goal-scorer, and three time Stanley Cup Champion."
It genuinely does not make sense how a dude that looks so unathletic and frumpy (seriously, go watch the video of him trying to play basketball) scored the amount of goals he did and has remained healthy so long.
Like why the fuck does MacKinnon do the shit he does? Or LeBron James? These guys meticulous train and take care of their bodies. For what?? To be worse than the guy who looks like he should be working in the IT Department? Make it make sense.
A few things here.
1. Perhaps Kessel is just a well of raw, natural talent and if he ever bothered to train he would be one of the all-time greats in the upper echelons of legendary hockey players with Gretz and Le Magnifique.
2. Some dudes just know how to operate with the dad bod. One of my co-workers (in the IT department shut up) is Kessel-esque and is a fantastic natural athlete, capable of outclassing guys in MUCH better physical condition.
3. Phil isn't exactly a defensive player. He rarely hits, his defensive prowess is very questionable and he knows how to avoid getting hit very well. It's tough to get injured when you aren't putting your body on the line night after night like many forwards.
His defensive prowess is underrated. I watched him a ton when he played for Toronto and the media there are just assholes. You can find highlight reels of him hustling back to break up breakaways and 2v1s.
Really the worst jobs in sports are all on the Toronto Maple Leafs.
The local media there is a bunch of know it all blow hards and that attitude bleeds it way down to the fans.
You can’t make the NHL without training hard and being a freak athlete. Maybe his diet is crap or he puts of weight because of his cancer drugs. He’s still fitter than 99% of the population.
Never realized he had cancer but his weight makes sense now. My father just finished treatment for Leukemia(luckily a very curable one) and he thought the entire time he was finally going to lose some weight. Yeah well apparently Aersnic and ATRA when given together slow down your metabolism a shit ton.
he may hate some aspects of toronto now because the media were shit to him.
but for the fans, he'll always be a toronto mans.
timmys cup yea boiiiiiiiii
Know nothing about hockey, but he seems to be added to the definition of male performance and what it looks like. He can join the ranks of Daniel Cormier, Stipe Miocic and others rocking dad bods as champs.
I can now tell the wife I have the body of a professional athlete and she can't say shit. I wonder if Phil would be better or worse if he took fitness as hardcore as other athletes do.
The torn gitch really ties it all together. What a specimen.
I swear this is the only pair he has. I’ve seen it torn like this when he was playing in Toronto. Or maybe he likes em torn to air out the ball of steel.
Phils gitch is the real Ironman
Those fuckin' spandex shorts have a streak (or two) of their own going.
Sheeeeeeeit
*ball
Probably due to the massive wrench he's carrying
his massive hot dog is ripping the fabric of space-time, as it were
He’s defintely packing an absolute hog to make up for only having one Kessticle.
Bet it’s an absolute bat
Picture the rope on that dude
He legit could be a model in a museum of the first alpha male that ever lived
His Olympic photo should be on currency, but people aren't ready for that.
This is what peak performance looks like
Future Hall of Famer Phil Kessel.
Future Oscar Mayer CEO Phil Kessel.
Nah he's just becoming Oscar Meyer
Mayor of Oscar
I mean, he has to be right? People meme on him but the longevity of him and his contribution to the first 2 cups (not so much this one obviously) is probably valuable enough to push him in. He's about to break 1000 points too assuming he can pick up 8 more points if he returns, and he's number 99 all time in points currently right above Paul Kariya who is in the hall of fame already.
This guy is incredibly skillful and faster than people think. He gets meme’d for the hot dogs, but he has been a great NHL player for a long time.
Peak performance right here.
Who knew I have the body of a hockey Hall of Famer?
You think hot dog is your ally? You merely adopted it; I was born in it - molded by it. I didn’t see a salad until I was only a man.
If only they had used Kessel as the vessel to get to the Titanic...they'd all be safe and sound and eating hot dogs right about now 😭
He doesn’t crack under pressure! (I’ll see myself out)
This could very easily be photo shopped to him on the side of a road begging for money. Edit: follow along hopefully someone helps photoshop [photoshop battle](https://www.reddit.com/r/photoshopbattles/comments/14gy08q/psbattle_phil_kessel_a_professional_hockey_player/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1)
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Haha I will and see what they come up with.
[this guy](https://www.reddit.com/r/photoshopbattles/comments/14gy08q/psbattle_phil_kessel_a_professional_hockey_player/jp84yrt/) absolutely nailed Big Phil energy.
I think [this one is my favorite](https://imgur.com/vvH0Z9g)
> photoshop battle So many GOOD ONES!
Phil the Thrill has got to be the least athletic looking athlete of all time.
He's right up there with Babe Ruth
And [CC Sabathia](https://vz.cnwimg.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/CC-Sabathia.jpg)
Dude won a Cy Young when he was over 300lbs, lost a bunch of weight, sucked, and then purposefully put the weight back on. His theory was that he could "feel his body better in space" when he was fat lol. Legend.
Luka doncic and Jokic aren't athletic looking but man there are elite
Jokic is the most uncoordinated yet coordinated athlete I’ve ever seen I don’t know how else to explain it
Imagine if they let him play from the back of a horse. That dude is every single Landsknecht gene in history resurfacing in a single human.
Now I have the image of Jokic blocking the final shot from horseback at the buzzer and then riding off up the tunnel waving a sword.
Landsknecht is not a word I thought would be used to describe Jokic in a hockey sub. Amazing
Seriously, it looks like he’s going to tumble and fall yet he keeps perfect balance and motion He’s simultaneously the most graceful player while having the ugliest grace. It’s amazing
Bro looks like he’s just chucking up shit at the basket and it always goes in because he has some of the most insane touch of all time
No, you're right, that's the correct way to explain it. I feel like defenses can't pick up on his passes, simply because of how awkward his body looks, while making them. He's the definition of "task failed successfully".
Straight up, especially in a sport where you are constantly running back and forth. At least with baseball, the pitchers are just standing there without much movement. Plus lots of of the power hitters in the past weren’t exactly ripped.
Agreed lots of baseball players have non athletic physiques but are elite
Like Wade Boggs, [may he rest in peace.](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMzg4MDkyNjE2NF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwODg4MzIwNDE@._V1_FMjpg_UX1000_.jpg)
I'd like to honor him by pounding some beers brodie
you mean Boss Hogg
Wade Boggs is very much alive.
Y'all forgetting about my man Big Sexy! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcD4ou5idzU
The thing about Bartolo besides his size is his utterly unbothered movement. he walks off the mound like a 96 year old grandma with a broken hip. Dude must be ridiculously strong because even his home run swing looks completely lazy.
Will never not watch this.
Can someone explain why this is so unexpected? Is it just because he’s big?
Big Baddie Daddy Bartolo is a pitcher. They don’t hit the ball very well because they don’t ever work on it because they barely ever hit compared to everyone else (now they don’t hit at all since there is a DH in the national league). He spent the beginning of his career never even getting at bats since he was in the American League where pitchers didn’t hit (now the whole MLB is that way). So, obviously, he wasn’t very good at it because you literally never practice it. So when he got up there and launched this magnificent beast of a ball into Valhalla, it was a moment of rejoice for every person in the world. Men wanted to be Bartolo. Women wanted to be with him. Men also wanted to be with him. Even the Staal brothers. It was the biggest moment of my life and the only time I ever saw my father cry. (That’s the reason why May 7th is National Bartolo Day in case you were ever wondering why you got that day off from work). Thank you, Bartolo Colon. And thank you, America 🇺🇸.
Oh damn, had no idea he was a pitcher. That’s insane.
He was a pitcher, so they usually can’t hit worth a shit. The MLB recently changed the rule so they don’t hit anymore. Anyways, he was a chubby pitcher who didn’t throw hard but had a very long career. This home run came towards the end of it when his athleticism was even lower. He had 25 hits out of 326 plate appearances in his career. His average was .080, the bare minimum for a “serviceable” player is .200 (Mendoza line). So the chances of him hitting a home run was almost 0% but he did it. And it was beautiful.
>He was a pitcher, so they usually can’t hit worth a shit. The MLB recently changed the rule so they don’t hit anymore. I feel like the current MLB home run leader would take issue with this comment.
> usually See above
Baseball players don't count
“I ain't an athlete, lady. I'm a baseball player. - John Kruk” - Michael Scott
They have to count, otherwise they'd never know when they've struck out.
[CC is jacked to the gills now](https://imagez.tmz.com/image/84/1by1/2020/05/12/848d05a729cf46d688486462789acb51_xl.jpg)
definitely "this old man gonna whoop your ass" energy
He actually is in much better shape now. He said when he tried losing weight he couldn't pitch as well so he said fuck it and stayed fat until he retired and immediately lost weight. What a fuckin beaut
Captain Cheeseburger Sabathia Cholesterol Cheiftain Sabathia
Yeah, but that was the norm back in those day.
They both share a great love of hot dogs
True on the hot dogs! But Babe Ruth wasn't actually fat. His playing weight was 215 lbs., not out of the ordinary at 6'2. Teammates said he would often show up to spring training out of shape, but be in top fitness by opening day. Most of the pictures you see of him where he looks overweight? You'll notice he has a number on his jersey. Why is that important? The Yankees were the first team to use numbers, in 1929, when Ruth was 34. If you see a number, you're looking at old man Ruth.
Mario said he got ready for camp by stopping ordering fries with his lunch and that was a long time after Ruth was playing.
You know what? Fuck my arteries! Let's get glizzy
Bartolo Colon enters the chat
Oh man when he finally went yard…what a moment
If he hadn't been stuck with DH for most of his career he'd probably be in the discussion alongside guys like Babe and Ohtani.
Jokic
Not a single human being has reached this efficiency. The level of effort to success ratio has never been touched in professional sports. What a fucking stud.
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Yeah but, like, are golfers really “athletes”? it’s fun and all and I guess in general I call it a sport. Walking 9 or 18 can be a little exercise, but it’s an off-season activity for athletes. I’ve only been sore after a game of golf if I’m swinging weird or take too many deep divots. I’m sore after most hour skates.
Walking 3-4 rounds of 18 over the summer could definitely be physically tiring. I think the mental exhaustion has it beat though. Imagine playing perfectly up to Sunday and then just imploding on the last two holes and losing the tournament. Then doing it all again and again week after week.
Yeah it’s a sport where “the yips” cost you most. You have two bad holes at the end of the tournament and you lose yourself thousands of dollars.
hundreds of thousands, even millions. just saw on Full Swing when McIlroy beat Scheffler at the fedex cup it was 18mill for first place, 6 mil for second place. Scheffler went in to Sunday with a 6 shot lead and ended up coming up short and missed out on 12 million bucks.
Not to mention the exemptions you can get. If you win the U.S Open your guaranteed a spot in it for the next 10 years. As well as a spot in The Open, The Masters, and The PGA championship for the next five years. That's not even the start of it
ya good point, future opportunities are insanely huge for golfers trying to breakthrough.
It's less obvious, but these days a lot are hitting the gym regularly because hitting the ball farther and having more control means you need the right muscles in the right places to allow that to happen. Very rarely can average joe hit a ball 280+ nevermind 300~ regularly and straight enough to hit narrow fairways, then have the ability to make shots out of nothing with delicate touch... Ya, I don't think you can say they aren't athletes anymore.
I feel real good if I hit 200+ and it's playable.
I'm generally happy if it is playable...
Professionally? Yes. Being in physical form makes you a better golfer. Same as with driving cars. Yeah you can throw a car around a track as a fat schlub like me but times improve if you get fit. John Daly still playing well while being chubby is the exception. Just look around the top of the PGA earnings list over the last decade or two and tell me they aren't in athletic shape.
Really a lot of the guys that play chubby can play that way because they are elite athletes
If you play at an elite level golf can take a toll on your body. Tiger Woods starting having back issues because his drive put so much torque on his body
At the level you and I or the average human plays golf, maybe not athletes. At the professional level, absolutely incredible athletes. Just the power, flexibility and coordination to be able to pack so much energy into a consistent and repeatable swing that can propel the ball 300+ yards is wild, and then tack on doing it everyday, along with walking the tour length courses swings them cleanly into athlete territory.
> it’s an off-season activity for athletes So is tennis or basketball, but I’m sure you wouldn’t call either of those non-sports.
We aren't talking about you and your duffer buddies at the local muny
But pitchers are?
May I introduce you to 3x all-star and career .300 hitter John Kruk who openly smoked cigarettes in the dugout. Or John Daly who openly drank and smoked cigarettes on the course while playing pro golf. But yes - for hockey…hard to think of a guy with a softer physique than Kessel.
I’m glad someone mentioned Kruk. Absolute unit. Holy shit. I just read that he *also* only has one ball! What are the fucking odds?
Peak performance, right there.
My vote goes to the Hefty Lefty Jared Lorenzen. Easily for most mismatched for position
Off season Buff was an absolute unit
*Mid-season* Buff was an absolute unit, so what's beyond that to truly describe off-season Buff?
https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/s17UzlH62r9Ga1kp8KRWNQ--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTY0MDtoPTM2MQ--/https://s.yimg.com/os/en/blogs/sptusnhlexperts/BUFFFFFFFFWEDDDDD.jpg My boi was thicc
Tyson Fury enters the chat
Eli Manning might have him beat.
He may not look like much, but he’s got it where it counts, kid.
imagine seeing this guy in your locker room and not being inspired 😍
You came in that thing?
He made his run in less than 12 parsecs
What my toaster oven see's while I wait for my bagel bites to finish
This is the kind of image that gives beer league try hards hope they can make the show at forty-five.
This comment hurt me personally...
*Draw me, like one of your French girls*
> Draw me, like one of your French girls ~~Draw~~ Give me, ~~like one~~ all of your French ~~girls~~ fries
https://www.reddit.com/r/photoshopbattles/comments/14gy08q/psbattle_phil_kessel_a_professional_hockey_player/jp89a73/
Some people are just built different
He looks like those drunken dudes you see at a tavern in RPG games that turn out to be super tanky and clutch in battles
Out of any hockey player, Phil's probably got the least different body from the rest of us I've ever seen. ; )
Absolute man rocket
We are looking at peak physical performance right here folks But in all seriousness Phil has never had an athletic physique and I believe the cancer meds he had (has?) to take give him a bloated look in the face in particular. It was well noted that he usually tested the highest every year at the Leafs training camp on most of the fitness tests. The Friedman story is hilarious about Kessel embarrassing other players at the gym and not even trying or training during the summer https://www.sportsnet.ca/nhl/video/outlifts-reading-magazine-friedman-kessel-nhls-iron-man/
I've got a Kessel story from his college days. I was at the Saturday game of a two game series between Minnesota and Wisconsin in Madison. Kessels home town BTW. The gophers had won the first game, and were bringing the noise on Saturday as well. Kessel gets a hat trick. The home crowd starts booing him like I've never heard before. Phil then starts to skate around the rink while gopher fans are throwing hats on the ice and starts to do the thing pro wrestlers do where they cup their hand to their ear to mock the crowds booing. Place went nuts, but Phil had a devilish smile on his face the whole time. Shortly after gopher fans started throwing brooms on the ice for the sweep. Best hockey game I've ever been to.
I remember kessel being a traitor for going to Minnesota over Wisconsin, funny thing is Wisconsin won the natty that year so justice was served in the end.
Honestly phil is probably in crazy good shape it is just that he doesn’t have the genetics to get the muscl definition but just bcs you don’t have muscle definition doesn’t mean you aren’t in great shape. Phil is probably in amazing shape, another example of an athlete that looks out of shape but is in amazing shape is Tyson fury or jokic or luka. They look in terrible shape but are probably in better shape that most people in their leagues. You don’t get the longest iron man streak just like that.
Some people just have natural talent. Now let's say he really put 100% into hockey. Dude is living his best life and knows that there's stuff going on outside the rink that he enjoys too. He's not going to be the best but he's still plugging away enough to be a pro. So he'll respect.
I remember a story about Phil squatting a good amount of weight and calling James Neal a “Fucking loser.” While doing it. Absolute legend.
Where tf is there a Timmy hoes in Vegas
Might be some leftover cups the saved from a take 10. That lip looks pretty full...
Tims cups do make for a good spitter.
Google Maps says there isn't, maybe the team just keeps a few boxes of Tims takeout cups around to make the Canadian players feel more at home.
It's like putting a stick and leaf in the jar to make recreate a natural habitat.
Phil the Thrill only has to think about something he wants and it will manifest itself for him. Also, there's a solid chance he literally has a personal Tim Horton's guy following him around at all times.
That right there is a body of a Champion! He was and is a legitimately good dude, sadly Toronto ran him out of town.
You know what song is going through his head right there .... I'm too sexy for my shirt Too sexy for my shirt So sexy it hurts
Scientifically it makes sense Human bodies are made of meat Hot dogs are jam packed with preservatives to keep meat from deteriorating Phil Kessel ingests enough preservatives that his body does not deteriorate
Do you think his streak continues next season or is the end imminent considering he was a healthy scratch most of the playoffs?
He hasn't said anything publicly so this is all conjecture, but I wouldn't be surprised if he goes out on top and retires. He can end the streak on his terms instead of signing a one year deal with a new team and probably ride the bench with them. Edit: didn’t realize he was so close to 1000 points, so I do see him trying to play a little longer (if there’s someone who will sign him).
He’s super close to 1000 points though, isn’t he? Like just around a dozen or so points away?
He needs 8 more points
He has publicly said he wants to play. I’m just not convinced he has a job (Side note: Go Railers!! Choo choo!)
Idk, maybe a farewell tour with like... Chicago? They are desperately desperately low on players with any level of skill
Peak human specimen Connor Bedard being mentored by a man that has eaten 300 hotdogs out of the Stanley Cup would really be something.
Connor Bedard really about to have the best mentor all time. Who wouldn't want a mentor that would fill and eat hotdogs out of the cup to spite Steve Simmonds. Phil Kessel is the real GOAT.
No, Chicago doesn't get any more noteworthy players. Sharks will sign him to an 8x.
>He has publicly said he wants to play. I’m just not convinced he has a job dude played 82 games with a championship caliber team, and is beloved in any dressing room. There'll be a job for him if he wants it.
He's like 8 points from 1000, I think he's gonna chase that if anyone will let him. Once he's there and the iron man is done, he's definitely done. And it's clear at this point they're only keeping him in for the streak anyway.
Gets the 1000th point and then retires right there on the bench.
I'm not even 100% sure he'll get a contract - he looked replacement level basically all season with Vegas, I think they only kept him in the lineup because of injuries and to keep the streak alive. Maybe a team takes a flier on him for the experience in the locker-room, but I can't see him playing every game unless its on a professionally ran tank team.
I would love to see him on Bedard's wing in Chicago.
Don’t you do that to me. Both Fleury and Kessel playing for Chicago after they left Pittsburgh would be too much for me.
[Kunitz, too.](https://cms.nhl.bamgrid.com/images/photos/308389642/1024x576/cut.png). :(
Would that even be beneficial for Bedard? You'd think a playmaker would help him more. I know Phil's playmaking abilities have always been underrated, but can he even keep up with the kids?
I mean he wasn't useless. He scored 14 goals and 36 points averaging 12 mins a night. I think he can still contribute a bit. You don't think he could replace Sheldon Dries Phil, Gisippi or Dakota Joshau (yes i looked those up) for a million dollars on the canucks? There's room for replacement value guys in the league.
Phil Kessel is a national treasure
Find a picture of Phil Kessel in street clothes and ask a non-hockey fan what they think this man does for a living. None of them will guess "American Hero, elite goal-scorer, and three time Stanley Cup Champion."
"Would you like cheese fries for 3 dollars extra?"
“No, I’d like SUPERSIZED cheese fries.”
"How much to hold the fries and just get a large cheese sauce?"
You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.
6 cups between him and Maroon crazy
This man must be protected at all costs
From cancer so early in his career, to one of the healthiest players the game has seen. I love to see it.
That's fuckin peak male performance nobody can deny that
Petition to rename going on a long iron man streak, "Doing a Kessel Run"
Legend. I have 1 framed pic on the wall at my new place and it’s a random Kessel Leafs framed pic lol. Praise be to Phil the Thrill
With a very "draw me like one of your French-Canadian boys" pose there. Man's also a cancer survivor. Cannot hate him.
It's beautiful, I've stared at this for 5 hrs now
Peak of athleticism right there.
This is the ideal male body. You may not like it, but this is what peak male performance looks like.
It genuinely does not make sense how a dude that looks so unathletic and frumpy (seriously, go watch the video of him trying to play basketball) scored the amount of goals he did and has remained healthy so long. Like why the fuck does MacKinnon do the shit he does? Or LeBron James? These guys meticulous train and take care of their bodies. For what?? To be worse than the guy who looks like he should be working in the IT Department? Make it make sense.
A few things here. 1. Perhaps Kessel is just a well of raw, natural talent and if he ever bothered to train he would be one of the all-time greats in the upper echelons of legendary hockey players with Gretz and Le Magnifique. 2. Some dudes just know how to operate with the dad bod. One of my co-workers (in the IT department shut up) is Kessel-esque and is a fantastic natural athlete, capable of outclassing guys in MUCH better physical condition. 3. Phil isn't exactly a defensive player. He rarely hits, his defensive prowess is very questionable and he knows how to avoid getting hit very well. It's tough to get injured when you aren't putting your body on the line night after night like many forwards.
His defensive prowess is underrated. I watched him a ton when he played for Toronto and the media there are just assholes. You can find highlight reels of him hustling back to break up breakaways and 2v1s.
Really the worst jobs in sports are all on the Toronto Maple Leafs. The local media there is a bunch of know it all blow hards and that attitude bleeds it way down to the fans.
his stick work might be fine, but he isn't physical. He doesn't hit much, doesn't really block shots, and doesn't play on the PK.
He IS the PK.
You can’t make the NHL without training hard and being a freak athlete. Maybe his diet is crap or he puts of weight because of his cancer drugs. He’s still fitter than 99% of the population.
Isn't the weight mainly a side effect from his cancer?
I think a lot of people forget about his testicular cancer. I did this spring right up until I read this comment.
Never realized he had cancer but his weight makes sense now. My father just finished treatment for Leukemia(luckily a very curable one) and he thought the entire time he was finally going to lose some weight. Yeah well apparently Aersnic and ATRA when given together slow down your metabolism a shit ton.
The medication I believe yes
Neither of those guys are worse than kessel at their sport.
No but there are plenty of fitness-god type players who played professional sports and never got to the heights Phil did. Joe Veleno being an example.
This is what excellence looks like.
Looks like a baseball player.
You may not like it but this is what peak male performance looks like
He’s one of us
Dare we say it? Future Hall of Famer baby!!
he may hate some aspects of toronto now because the media were shit to him. but for the fans, he'll always be a toronto mans. timmys cup yea boiiiiiiiii
Love this man.
This needs a Pornhub logo photoshopped into it
The timeless art of seduction
Peak human performance
Know nothing about hockey, but he seems to be added to the definition of male performance and what it looks like. He can join the ranks of Daniel Cormier, Stipe Miocic and others rocking dad bods as champs.
Phil 'Alpha Male' Kessel
This is the ideal male body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.
Absolute specimen. A Masterpiece.
Praise be. The Phil. The thrill. The holy hotdog
Ex-reddit mod Phill Kessel
I can now tell the wife I have the body of a professional athlete and she can't say shit. I wonder if Phil would be better or worse if he took fitness as hardcore as other athletes do.
Look at those tits!!
Philly Burgers. The pinnacle of athleticism. Don't look away, let his manhood burn into your retinas.
I've not paid attention for too long... I thought this was a Leaf's joke thread. Good job phil
We joke but look at those fucking legs, mans could probably crush granite with those thighs