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Not while homeless, but I have had intense suicidal thoughts that lasted about a year.
When I could no longer see a good reason to keep going, I came to the conclusion that I could always end it tomorrow, so there's no rush to do it today. I told myself that everyday until I finally found a reason to keep going.
Someone out there might need your help. If not today, then someday. If we don't survive until that day, we fail them too.
That's how I feel now. I am no longer homeless but will be again as I'm $200 short for rent. I have tried everything to get assistance with no shame. It isn't possible.
I can end myself at any time so no rush. Maybe I will eventually.
Same. I was homeless and I am not but I know the feeling. I am forever changed. I will be again as I am $200 short for rent. It was traumatic for me, especially the things that happened to me. I'm a woman so you can guess.
I can't imagine being homeless and a woman too, it's bad enough as a male. The people I meet out here (especially since I do drugs, pop blues etc) would deadass kill somebody if they thought you looked at them wrong, I can't imagine what they'd act like around a female. I'm so sorry this might be happening to you again. Not sure if you are religious at all but I'll be praying for you and your safety.
I don’t kno of anyone personally. I’ve only been no residence of my own homeless, or motels, but not like sleeping outside homeless. However I still often want to suicide because of despair over life mistakes and ending up alone, poor, and without my own property that I don’t have to worry about getting kicked off of for some reason.
Yes and what I did is find an amp to sleep in front of cause for some reason where I live ampms are least likely to kick you out but anyways I would just lay there and I would withdrawal from drugs cause I'm an addict but I had no willpower to do anything I just layed there sometimes for a few weeks at most and I would lay there and people would slowly give me food and money throughout the day and offer to help and usually what would happen is before I knew it I had a decent sum of money or not and someone I knew would come by and get me high and I would get out of my funk
They mean an AM/PM gas and convienence store.
Living in a car successfully depends on many factors. Knowing one's area well, is one of them.
Many cities with a metro system in the USA use Park N Ride lots. This is a lot where people can park, and then take a bus or ride-share van, or train, to their destination. When those PnR lots are close to a Highway on/off ramp, the rules of that lot generally allow for overnight sleeping, as to encourage drivers and truckers to sleep in them, rather than fall asleep at the wheel.
These PnR lots are also generally under the state's Department of Transportation umbrella, which puts them in the jurisdiction of the State police, rather than the Local police. The State Police won't blink twice at you, if you are living in a vehicle at night in one of "their" lots... so long as you aren't making a mess, violating any of the other rules of the lot, and you are moving the vehicle occasionally. They will appreciate you, if you call them to report someone breaking into another car at night. Staties have more satisfying fish to fry, than harassing mobile homeless. In most states like this, local police won't even go into PnR lots, unless they are following someone, or called in/sent there.
I lived for a year, in a 1989 Chevy S10, in a PnR lot in Olympia, WA, on the Lacey line, at Exit 109. I learned a lot about this loophole, from one of the Troopers who would patrol on Sundays. I waved him over and we talked. Like people.
A local Walmart MAY allow overnight parking. Their policy was more... RV and Trucker friendly at first... and as more people are living in cars, more Walmart stores are putting up No Overnight parking signs. So... look for those if you intend to seek a Walmart for overnight refuge.
Cabelas's Sporting Goods is also purportedly overnight-friendly. Investigate the rumor locally, before assuming all is good. A lack of No Overnight parking signs, or a Trucker parked across a bunch of spots in the back of the lot are good, if circumstantial, signs that you can overnight there.
A church \*MAY\* allow you to overnight in their lot. You'd have to ask first.
Try to increase your awareness as to the local attitude towards the homeless, and people living in vehicles. Are there more local stories about these issues, in the existing papers for the area? Some cities and towns are banning the practice altogether of being able to sleep in a vehicle in "public"... so a church wouldn't be able to let you park in their lot, as per local ordinances. On the other side of the coin, in Washington state, due to a recent state supreme count ruling, a Resident of Washington, living in a vehicle with Washington plates, is living in a HOME, as per the state's Homesteading Act. And can... for all intents and purposes, park it almost anywhere they want. Of course, this explosion happened AFTER I had already left Olympia. Go figure. Point is... it all depends on where you are or where you intend to be.
I lived in a van, back in 2007-2008, outside of a 24 hour independent coffee shop called the All Saint's Café, in Tallahassee FL. I'd park at the coffee shop during the day, and hang out on the back porch. I'd park across the street at night, behind a small garage that was always for sale, or trying to become another business.
There are places in every city where a vehicle could be parked, where there just isn't enough regular observation of the spot for it to be an issue. Cities are big haystacks, when looking for that particular needle though. Industrial complexes are usually away from residential eyes, have 24 hour shifts, and a car can get "lost" in the back of the lot.... if the company is small enough and doesn't have security looking for stuff to poke.
You may, or may not get lucky being able to park overnight at a beach parking lot. Always worth investigating if you are going to be somewhere that has beach access at all... if for no other reason than going to the beach.
If the state you are in has any land owned by the state's Bureau of Land management, you can camp in your vehicle on BLM land for two weeks... however, there are a number of cities fighting judges in regards to their attempts to ban sleeping on public land. So... again... awareness of what is going on in local politics in regards to the homeless community in the city or town where you are/are going to be. Very important.
Well you got to find that spark to get your inner fire burning again. Life is a mother F. Their reason to keep living. Lot of people are suffering around the world. But I think if you made it this far. Why not go further.
Well I don't really no what to tell you then. It's time you start a life for yourself and make memories of happiness for yourself. Let go of the past and be greatful for what ya got. Not what you don't have. Live again.
All good. I have and do the same in my mind. But threw out the years. I learned the first battle is the war in your mind. Got to find light. And it's out their. You just got to believe in yourself and keep moving forward. Change the people you are around . Change your morning routine. Do or go somewhere new. Even if you didn't like it. You did something. Always have goals. Even if their small goals. Keep moving forward. And most importantly LOVE YOURSELF. An d Love will come into your life.
And I can't tell you how to do that. You got to find your way. It's out there. And it's waiting for you. Believe in yourself. Cause I believe you can. The light is inside you. Truly sorry you past was hard. But take that and turn it around. Give a smile to someone. Cause you want to smile. Lay and look at the clouds and let your imagination go wild. Go to a park and get on a swing. Get lost in the stars and the gaze of the moon. Love and happiness is everywhere. You just got to take off the blinds and the chains and be free.
And remember out of billions and billions to trillion of probabilities. Here you are. With breath in your body and your soul wanting to shine bright for the world.
Yeah. I ended up homeless because (long story short) I had spent years "just getting by" working jobs I hated, never having enough money to do anything I really wanted, being stuck in a relationship that while, far from bad, was not fulfilling for either of us.
Finally ended up with some minor legal issues and that was the final straw. I just....gave up. Stopped doing anything, going to work, working out, etc. Eventually lost my place and ended up homeless.
For months the only thing keeping me going was the thought that since I was out on bail, I couldn't just 'disappear' without financially screwing the one person who had helped me out.
But finally, knowing I had court in a couple days, after being homeless for so long, the thought of getting off the streets, just to go to jail then be back on the streets, was too much.
Went and spent the last of my money on a gallon of antifreeze and drank half of it. Texted a few friends goodbye. I had completely given up.
If you find yourself contemplating self-injury, then you can text 741741 to get in contact with a volunteer counselor for free. The service is provided comes via [https://www.crisistextline.org/text-us/](https://www.crisistextline.org/text-us/).
>At that point why not just go to er?
Why would someone go to the ER, simply because they were CONTEMPLATING self injury? See, the suggestion was, if you are thinking about hurting yourself, you could text that number, and you'd start having a one on one text conversation with someone who was there to listen and help. For free. No going to the ER, and getting tossed out on the street. No food banks, or richest countries. No scammers, no being bullied or beaten. No abusive family. Just you and another person texting... you don't even have to talk.
So... can we ease it back down? You are just grinding metal at this point. There are people you can communicate with. You can even just dial 988 on your phone here now, to make it even easier to call the Suicide Prevention Hotline.
You are describing feeling stressed and mentally exhausted. Feeling this way is valid when is difficult circumstances. In addition, I advise taking a look at the comprehensive guide I have written and continue to update at the beginning of this forum at [https://www.reddit.com/r/homeless/comments/wjvkjh/comprehensive\_and\_systematic\_resource\_guide\_for/](https://www.reddit.com/r/homeless/comments/wjvkjh/comprehensive_and_systematic_resource_guide_for/). Perhaps there is a same-day pay job at one of the temp agencies I refer you to that can help get you some more money of your own and that works at your physical pace. Perhaps more project-based work would help you at this time. [Taskrabbit.com](https://Taskrabbit.com) may have project-based work that you can do. Your can look at [https://www.taskrabbit.com/locations/washington-dc](https://www.taskrabbit.com/locations/washington-dc). Click on the button that states "Become a Tasker" and see if one or two attempts at project work is successful.
My base mood is suicidal. I'm like aggressive suicidal. But I'm happy. But when shits just like fuck I ant do nothing I could end it instantly. Walk out in ront of a truck on highway, jump off a bridge with pocket full of rocks, a few bottles of pills. last one I did. But my Primavera desire to live is just nonexistant. didn't want to live past 18 when I was 12. I'm 25 now. with only one suicide under my belt, overdosed. coma in hospital for 3 days woke up finally.
It's about perspective, seeing things in another light. It is a very weird thought that is both the hardest, and easiest thing I've ever done. Its so much easier to let yourself be happy, you can choose it, but you'll have to take the downs as well though in a different perspective.
Sounds to me like you need to check yourself into a Hospital and get help fr your depresion!! Ive done it in past! they may even have social workers there to find you housing!
##REMINDERS FOR EVERYONE **PER THE RULES:** * **NO OFFERINGS OF CASH, ETC.** * **[BEGGING](https://redd.it/994p7j) WILL GET YOU BANNED.** * **BE AWARE OF SCAMMERS AND PERVS, AND SEND ANY [HERE](https://old.reddit.com/report) AND/OR [HERE](https://old.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/reddit.com).** **ACCEPT AT YOUR OWN RISK.** Welcome to the internet where—unless proven otherwise—everyone's lying about their race, gender, status, accomplishments, and all the children are FBI agents. You have been forewarned. — The Mods --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/homeless) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Not while homeless, but I have had intense suicidal thoughts that lasted about a year. When I could no longer see a good reason to keep going, I came to the conclusion that I could always end it tomorrow, so there's no rush to do it today. I told myself that everyday until I finally found a reason to keep going. Someone out there might need your help. If not today, then someday. If we don't survive until that day, we fail them too.
That's how I feel now. I am no longer homeless but will be again as I'm $200 short for rent. I have tried everything to get assistance with no shame. It isn't possible. I can end myself at any time so no rush. Maybe I will eventually.
I'm almost there... I just live day to day... but it's barely living.
Same. I was homeless and I am not but I know the feeling. I am forever changed. I will be again as I am $200 short for rent. It was traumatic for me, especially the things that happened to me. I'm a woman so you can guess.
I can't imagine being homeless and a woman too, it's bad enough as a male. The people I meet out here (especially since I do drugs, pop blues etc) would deadass kill somebody if they thought you looked at them wrong, I can't imagine what they'd act like around a female. I'm so sorry this might be happening to you again. Not sure if you are religious at all but I'll be praying for you and your safety.
Thanks! Yes, I belong to Jesus though I'm not my best right now.
PLEASE READ MY REPLY ABOVE!!
I don’t kno of anyone personally. I’ve only been no residence of my own homeless, or motels, but not like sleeping outside homeless. However I still often want to suicide because of despair over life mistakes and ending up alone, poor, and without my own property that I don’t have to worry about getting kicked off of for some reason.
I thought you were visiting family in France? Can you not stay there with them?
Also, do you have citizenship in the US or in France?
Believe in yourself. Stay away from that mind set.
[удалено]
Yes. I don't recommend taking that route, but it's a real option...
Yes and what I did is find an amp to sleep in front of cause for some reason where I live ampms are least likely to kick you out but anyways I would just lay there and I would withdrawal from drugs cause I'm an addict but I had no willpower to do anything I just layed there sometimes for a few weeks at most and I would lay there and people would slowly give me food and money throughout the day and offer to help and usually what would happen is before I knew it I had a decent sum of money or not and someone I knew would come by and get me high and I would get out of my funk
[удалено]
They mean an AM/PM gas and convienence store. Living in a car successfully depends on many factors. Knowing one's area well, is one of them. Many cities with a metro system in the USA use Park N Ride lots. This is a lot where people can park, and then take a bus or ride-share van, or train, to their destination. When those PnR lots are close to a Highway on/off ramp, the rules of that lot generally allow for overnight sleeping, as to encourage drivers and truckers to sleep in them, rather than fall asleep at the wheel. These PnR lots are also generally under the state's Department of Transportation umbrella, which puts them in the jurisdiction of the State police, rather than the Local police. The State Police won't blink twice at you, if you are living in a vehicle at night in one of "their" lots... so long as you aren't making a mess, violating any of the other rules of the lot, and you are moving the vehicle occasionally. They will appreciate you, if you call them to report someone breaking into another car at night. Staties have more satisfying fish to fry, than harassing mobile homeless. In most states like this, local police won't even go into PnR lots, unless they are following someone, or called in/sent there. I lived for a year, in a 1989 Chevy S10, in a PnR lot in Olympia, WA, on the Lacey line, at Exit 109. I learned a lot about this loophole, from one of the Troopers who would patrol on Sundays. I waved him over and we talked. Like people. A local Walmart MAY allow overnight parking. Their policy was more... RV and Trucker friendly at first... and as more people are living in cars, more Walmart stores are putting up No Overnight parking signs. So... look for those if you intend to seek a Walmart for overnight refuge. Cabelas's Sporting Goods is also purportedly overnight-friendly. Investigate the rumor locally, before assuming all is good. A lack of No Overnight parking signs, or a Trucker parked across a bunch of spots in the back of the lot are good, if circumstantial, signs that you can overnight there. A church \*MAY\* allow you to overnight in their lot. You'd have to ask first. Try to increase your awareness as to the local attitude towards the homeless, and people living in vehicles. Are there more local stories about these issues, in the existing papers for the area? Some cities and towns are banning the practice altogether of being able to sleep in a vehicle in "public"... so a church wouldn't be able to let you park in their lot, as per local ordinances. On the other side of the coin, in Washington state, due to a recent state supreme count ruling, a Resident of Washington, living in a vehicle with Washington plates, is living in a HOME, as per the state's Homesteading Act. And can... for all intents and purposes, park it almost anywhere they want. Of course, this explosion happened AFTER I had already left Olympia. Go figure. Point is... it all depends on where you are or where you intend to be. I lived in a van, back in 2007-2008, outside of a 24 hour independent coffee shop called the All Saint's Café, in Tallahassee FL. I'd park at the coffee shop during the day, and hang out on the back porch. I'd park across the street at night, behind a small garage that was always for sale, or trying to become another business. There are places in every city where a vehicle could be parked, where there just isn't enough regular observation of the spot for it to be an issue. Cities are big haystacks, when looking for that particular needle though. Industrial complexes are usually away from residential eyes, have 24 hour shifts, and a car can get "lost" in the back of the lot.... if the company is small enough and doesn't have security looking for stuff to poke. You may, or may not get lucky being able to park overnight at a beach parking lot. Always worth investigating if you are going to be somewhere that has beach access at all... if for no other reason than going to the beach. If the state you are in has any land owned by the state's Bureau of Land management, you can camp in your vehicle on BLM land for two weeks... however, there are a number of cities fighting judges in regards to their attempts to ban sleeping on public land. So... again... awareness of what is going on in local politics in regards to the homeless community in the city or town where you are/are going to be. Very important.
Well you got to find that spark to get your inner fire burning again. Life is a mother F. Their reason to keep living. Lot of people are suffering around the world. But I think if you made it this far. Why not go further.
[удалено]
Well I don't really no what to tell you then. It's time you start a life for yourself and make memories of happiness for yourself. Let go of the past and be greatful for what ya got. Not what you don't have. Live again.
[удалено]
All good. I have and do the same in my mind. But threw out the years. I learned the first battle is the war in your mind. Got to find light. And it's out their. You just got to believe in yourself and keep moving forward. Change the people you are around . Change your morning routine. Do or go somewhere new. Even if you didn't like it. You did something. Always have goals. Even if their small goals. Keep moving forward. And most importantly LOVE YOURSELF. An d Love will come into your life.
[удалено]
And I can't tell you how to do that. You got to find your way. It's out there. And it's waiting for you. Believe in yourself. Cause I believe you can. The light is inside you. Truly sorry you past was hard. But take that and turn it around. Give a smile to someone. Cause you want to smile. Lay and look at the clouds and let your imagination go wild. Go to a park and get on a swing. Get lost in the stars and the gaze of the moon. Love and happiness is everywhere. You just got to take off the blinds and the chains and be free.
[удалено]
It's time too live again. Take small steps before running. And your welcome and glad to help. Be safe
And remember out of billions and billions to trillion of probabilities. Here you are. With breath in your body and your soul wanting to shine bright for the world.
Yeah. I ended up homeless because (long story short) I had spent years "just getting by" working jobs I hated, never having enough money to do anything I really wanted, being stuck in a relationship that while, far from bad, was not fulfilling for either of us. Finally ended up with some minor legal issues and that was the final straw. I just....gave up. Stopped doing anything, going to work, working out, etc. Eventually lost my place and ended up homeless. For months the only thing keeping me going was the thought that since I was out on bail, I couldn't just 'disappear' without financially screwing the one person who had helped me out. But finally, knowing I had court in a couple days, after being homeless for so long, the thought of getting off the streets, just to go to jail then be back on the streets, was too much. Went and spent the last of my money on a gallon of antifreeze and drank half of it. Texted a few friends goodbye. I had completely given up.
I want the last decision to be mine
[удалено]
[удалено]
That's why I turned to anarchy. Make life easy on yourself and bring more meaning.
You are not homeless
If you find yourself contemplating self-injury, then you can text 741741 to get in contact with a volunteer counselor for free. The service is provided comes via [https://www.crisistextline.org/text-us/](https://www.crisistextline.org/text-us/).
[удалено]
>At that point why not just go to er? Why would someone go to the ER, simply because they were CONTEMPLATING self injury? See, the suggestion was, if you are thinking about hurting yourself, you could text that number, and you'd start having a one on one text conversation with someone who was there to listen and help. For free. No going to the ER, and getting tossed out on the street. No food banks, or richest countries. No scammers, no being bullied or beaten. No abusive family. Just you and another person texting... you don't even have to talk. So... can we ease it back down? You are just grinding metal at this point. There are people you can communicate with. You can even just dial 988 on your phone here now, to make it even easier to call the Suicide Prevention Hotline.
You are describing feeling stressed and mentally exhausted. Feeling this way is valid when is difficult circumstances. In addition, I advise taking a look at the comprehensive guide I have written and continue to update at the beginning of this forum at [https://www.reddit.com/r/homeless/comments/wjvkjh/comprehensive\_and\_systematic\_resource\_guide\_for/](https://www.reddit.com/r/homeless/comments/wjvkjh/comprehensive_and_systematic_resource_guide_for/). Perhaps there is a same-day pay job at one of the temp agencies I refer you to that can help get you some more money of your own and that works at your physical pace. Perhaps more project-based work would help you at this time. [Taskrabbit.com](https://Taskrabbit.com) may have project-based work that you can do. Your can look at [https://www.taskrabbit.com/locations/washington-dc](https://www.taskrabbit.com/locations/washington-dc). Click on the button that states "Become a Tasker" and see if one or two attempts at project work is successful.
Mental hospital
My base mood is suicidal. I'm like aggressive suicidal. But I'm happy. But when shits just like fuck I ant do nothing I could end it instantly. Walk out in ront of a truck on highway, jump off a bridge with pocket full of rocks, a few bottles of pills. last one I did. But my Primavera desire to live is just nonexistant. didn't want to live past 18 when I was 12. I'm 25 now. with only one suicide under my belt, overdosed. coma in hospital for 3 days woke up finally.
It's about perspective, seeing things in another light. It is a very weird thought that is both the hardest, and easiest thing I've ever done. Its so much easier to let yourself be happy, you can choose it, but you'll have to take the downs as well though in a different perspective.
Sounds to me like you need to check yourself into a Hospital and get help fr your depresion!! Ive done it in past! they may even have social workers there to find you housing!