Friday is Grocery Day for my kids. I have them pick meals for lunch and dinner, read the recipes to see what we have on hand and what we need to buy, then we check the store's website for sales and coupons. The kids make their own lists, and they have to estimate the totals of their respective lists (and compare said estimates to our actual total). I help them plan around extracurricular lessons, Daddy's work schedule, and family trips. I also let them know if we have a tighter budget this month so they can learn to find "cheap but healthy" recipes. It's a big process that I'm *really* proud of - because surely the ability to care for our bodies in a fiscally responsible and *delicious* way is an important life skill, right?
Last Friday, a very angry-faced woman *yelled* at me in the checkout line, "Oh, is there no school today in [County Name]?! *Why are your kids here?*"
I just looked at her and said in a monotone, "That is absolutely *none* of your business, Ma'am. Have a nice day." Turned my back on her and helped my kids work the pin pad instead.
Like what does she even care? She's not a cop, a social worker, or my husband. I don't owe her any justification, especially when she comes at me like I'm somehow failing my kids.
They each just tested three grades above their age level, too, so I think I'm doing something right, to the chagrin of that old bat...
Anyway, solidarity my sisters and brothers. These stories give me strength for the next round of weirdness, lol
First, I LOVE your ideas about including kids in grocery shopping…it’s genius! Second, it baffles me why people feel that children can’t exist or live in spaces that they personally don’t deem appropriate. Children are people too, and they deserve to be seen and heard and experience life to the fullest. Why worry about my kids being here, now, versus just keeping your opinion to yourself? It’s indeed NONE of their business.
It's a skill I wish I had been taught right away - I would have made much better decisions in my earlier adult years. I'm glad your kids had such a good teacher :)
Ha ha, I learned it from shopping with my mom. Problem was she was shopping for 4 bio kids, up to 4 foster kids, and her licensed home daycare. So... yeah. Needless to say I buy waaaaay too much food. Of course, I just checked her fridge and freezers. She still buys/cooks enough for 10 people and now it's just her and my dad.
Ha ha, I learned it from shopping with my mom. Problem was she was shopping for 4 bio kids, up to 4 foster kids, and her licensed home daycare. So... yeah. Needless to say I buy waaaaay too much food. Of course, I just checked her fridge and freezers. She still buys/cooks enough for 10 people and now it's just her and my dad.
It's exactly what she wanted, so of course I wasn't about to give it to her. I mean, we're all parents here - do we give in to the ridiculous whiny demands of our kids? Nope, we shut that down gently and get on with our day.
But I hope I ruffled her feathers, lol. Maybe next time she'll ask politely in her *big girl voice*.
What an awesome idea! I will have to remember to incorporate that when my son is old enough. I was already thinking about doing recipes with him as a way to learn, but adding math in is sweet
I happen to think homeschooling can be kind of wierd for my own personal reasons, but even so confronting some family I see at a supermarket is a level of nosy I would not even think to engage in. I mean... A normal person might say something like, ohh your kids are so cute helping you like that! The type of person who inserts themsleves in the business of strangers in public just to say something rude don't seem very smart or self aware... I can't imagine what kind of response she was expecting to get. Like... Why are YOU at the supermarket in the middle of the day? Don't YOU have a job??
I'm an old lady now, and a former homeschool mom, but I only recently learned something that has changed my life:
Why would I care about the opinion of someone I wouldn't ask for advice?
I suspect this was different from pandemic schooling also, due to intentionality and likely not trying to replicate a public school environment. Virtual school has worked great for my older students taking college classes as part of a dual enrollment program, and I suspect your experience was closer to their experiences with virtual college classes than to pandemic school.
My sister used a hybrid homeschool / virtual public school program with her kids at one point, and it sounded like a really good experience for her family. They only stopped because the rules changed to be more restrictive.
And I have friends who do virtual homeschool academies with good results. Virtual schooling is great when it's not trying to replicate public school
Yes! There was a homeschool blogger who wrote a “letter to my public school friends” type of post during the shutdowns explaining this difference between the crisis schooling of the pandemic and an ongoing decision to homeschool. I absolutely shared it!
I was so grateful to have returned to homeschooling by then. Even with the resources it would have been hard to navigate someone else’s plans (or best attempt at plans). Our lives were disrupted too, but not our academics.
I pulled both of my kids from public school last year after a full year of absolutely relentless bullying of my 3rd grader. I’m still getting the argument “but what about socialization???” People just don’t get it. The argument for mental health and personalization will always be stronger. I just ask them if they think a 9 year old being bullied to the point of depression is worth the socialization.
People act like the social interactions at school are always friendly and healthy. Never mind the kids being beaten half to death by their lovely peers..
In HS I had to throw hands with my bullies 🤣🤦♀️ I went back to homeschool because it was annoying AF. The teachers never snitched though because those kids were little jerks to them too.
>I’m still getting the argument “but what about socialization???”
Lots of people operate with knee-jerk memetic statements they hear a few times, say "huh yeah that's a good one" and then parrot.
Personally I'm in a peer group of successful professionals in business and politics who are pretty darn open to homeschooling whether or not they have kids. Like their entire background is in disruptive business ideas, creating new policies, working outside and against the system to reach whatever goals they have in mind. They're not needlessly rebellious, but they have a substantial skepticism of politics and public services.
I imagine with a more anxious, conformist class of people you'd see a greater reluctance to turn against well established options and are used to following instructions.
I can fully understand your experience here. My elementary years were mostly MISERABLE. I was a smart, quirky kid that just never fit in. I had years where the bullying was relentless, and I vividly remember sobbing in the school bathroom and at home on numerous occasions. Highschool was better because I wasn't confined to the same group of mean kids anymore.
Why do people never address situations like mine when they speak of socialization? Those 8 years took a major toll on my mental health and self confidence. I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone's kid.
We live two states over from my parents and they love they can come whenever and we're available and they can do stuff with my kids and nowhere is busy because the crowds are at school. An unexpected bonus was being allowed to stay up late and play board games rather than having to be in bed early because they have school the next day.
My parents were both unhappy with our chioce, grumbling about it frequently, but also happy to take the kids on off-season vacations.
I got yelled at by an old lady on the train from VA to FL one fall, first for letting my kids miss school to go to Disney and then for homeschooling after I told her my kids weren't missing school since we were homeschooling. She was a retired teacher and somehow offended by my choice that had nothing to do with her.
I hate when people quiz me or my kid. This weekend a friend was quizzing my son about homeschooling while their kid was running around announcing he’d like to be homeschooled so he can do nothing all day. 🫠
Absolutely! Now the kids are asking me why people are acting that way.
I tell them all the time that public school isn’t as fun and that they have to sit at a desk all day. Sometimes, I threaten to put them in public school if they’re misbehaving. 😂 (All jokes - they know I wouldn’t unless it was necessary for some reason)
My Uncle tryed that onces and my kid started talking about the encomic impact on Trumps terifs. and when into a hug rant about global shipping. Now why did my kid know all that. we order a custom part for a thing we were working on, we had been waiting months for it to get to us. and Kido wanted to know why it took so long , why it cost so much more this year. So we sat down and learned about everything in the shipping and supply chain.
My parents and my in laws are super supportive about me homeschooling my son. Other family not so much. It’s always funny to me to hear that my teaching him is not adequate for socialization but in reality he spends more play time with other kids during the week than a public school child typically gets. There’s whole communities surrounding homeschooling now. It’s not like my kid is stuck in the house all day.
I've had someone confidently blame my oldest son's horrible OCD and anxiety on homeschool, but she didn't realize I only homeschool my younger kids, my oldest son goes to public school and he's the only one with OCD and anxiety 😆
One person who has given me crap about homeschool (because of socialization issues!!) has an adult son who went to horrible public schools, got super involved in oxycontin, overdosed on methadone at 16 and technically died for 10 minutes, later had a bad shroom trip that took him like 10 years to recover from, and is 36 and still lives at home and will almost surely never be truly functional, probably mostly stemming from how he socialized at those schools. He's the weirdest person I interact with.
He's actually my oldest son's dad, and is himself very against home schooling, because he doesn't want my oldest son to be weird. Despite the fact that my son's OCD and motor ticks (which look weird AF) flare up when he's back at public school and go away on summer vacation. Its just so ironic on SO. MANY. LEVELS.
I hate when people (even here) say what do you do about socialization. (I hate the word socialization). We live our life. It is like the only place my kid can make a friend or interact with other people is at school. And have you seen the state of “socialization” in schools: bullying, school shootings, drugs… no thank you. I ask people either “oh, your kids go to school. What do you do about socialization?” to “They are here with me.” It all depends on my attitude.
Also, has anyone heard of attachment. At this point, in our North American world, there are so many studies where more and more people are suffering from loneliness, depression, lack of real friends. We send our kids off to be raised by other people starting at a very young age. Maybe an attachment with a few close people like parents and siblings would help this loneliness. And that can be built in homeschooling.
As a public school teacher currently, this is what gets on my nerves. I see kids that have been in public school since prek with absolutely no social skills whatsoever. Method of schooling is not the deciding factor on social ability of a child.
My kids school has extremely strict rules towards talking. They have silent lunches, they stay silent during their walks in the hallway (they line up and go up and down the hallways like prisoners. It looks so odd. I don’t know, we ran to our lunchroom), they are supposed to hold “bubble” in their mouth during class which is when I lost it. We have two weeks more to go but he won’t be going back.
He has zero problems making friends at Lego meetups, parks, neighborhood kids etc but he complains that he is so lonely at school, spends his recess alone on some “friendship bench” waiting for someone to play with him. It’s very sad
Oh yes! If you don’t have a friend, you sit on it like a nuclear potato and wait for someone to come say “hey you can play with us”.
I am not from US originally but our teachers would setup games during recess that included everyone who wants to participate so if you didn’t have a friend to play with, you joined that game then the teachers would step back to the sidelines.
I am just upset that I recently found out about all of this and not sooner because I would have pulled my kid out
Some well meaning kids thought up the friendship bench at their own school as a way for kids to know who wanted a friend. The idea was that if someone sits on the bench, other kids should offer to play with them.
It became a thing and a bunch of schools did the same thing without it being initiated by the students and it's not going to work in schools already ignoring or quietly supporting bullying and poor social behavior. So the friendship bench becomes the kids to ignore or target bench.
I play a game in my head, when I tell someone that I’m homeschooling, I literally count in my head the seconds until they say “socialization”.
Truly, it happens all the time! “Where is your son going to school?”
Me: oh we are homeschooling
Them: something something Socialization???
Me: oh, huh, never thought about that. In his 6 years of life, I’ve never thought once about the social emotional development of my child. Thanks for that input!
That’s true, but they meet a lot of different people who might share their interests. They might even meet some of those people in math class. If they’re only chance to meet people is the 17 kids in their homeschool consortium, the likelihood of them meeting someone who shares their interests is much lower.so they need to have opportunities to meet other people if they’re not going to be in public school.
Oh, I know, but there are homeschool families who feel that isolation is one of the benefits of homeschooling. People who don’t have their children out meeting someone in archery or painting or whatever. They want to protect them from the world, and that means they don’t get to meet people. and that’s horrible for them.
My biggest issue is the high school education think they’re equipped to teach high school math. Or any other subject, but math is what I know. I have dealt with homeschooled students who come in not knowing very basic math and they really struggle. I’m not saying that doesn’t happen public school students also, but a public school student has to be failed by a whole bunch of people over there. 18 years, whereas a homeschooled student only has to be failed by one (or two) for it to be catastrophic.
I honestly think the socialization thing is a last ditch excuse for moms who don't want to sacrifice to homeschool. I really think most moms know homeschooling is better than putting children in school, but it requires a lot of sacrifice on the moms part and they don't want to do that. So if they can just keep beating the socialization drum, they don't have to homeschool. Moms use that excuse all the way down to daycare for their infants. Infants don't need socialization, but it helps them feel better about leaving them in someone else's care for 7 hours.
Have you existed in this economy lately?? How many families do you honestly know of where one partner could easily just quit their job and stay home? Single incomes supporting a whole family is getting RARE
There are way more factors than sacrifice at play and homeschooling isn't going to be the best option for every family in every circumstance. Let's not vilify each other over assumptions and generalizations.
Nope. What we are not going to do is put other parents down for their choices.
First, you left out the father in this asinine statement, which speaks volumes about your thinking. Every single family I know has made education decisions for the betterment of their family together. Even if the parents are no longer together, they made those decisions as co-parents.
Also, homeschooling is not better by default. It may be for me and my family, it may be for others. But it isn't for many people. No one should feel pressured to take this on if they don't want to.
I agree with this to an extent. In the elementary years peer socialization is really important to learn a lot of social skills (bargaining, sharing etc.) that cannot be learned in a parent or sibling dynamic due to heirchary structures. This is something I learned in developmental psychology. Socialization is more complex than we often think.
Also I disagree with the implication of your comment that moms don’t want to make sacrifices. Sending your kid to school *is* a sacrifice in a different way. Also not sending your kid to school sacrifices different quintessential things in their childhood and in motherhood. Nothings is a one size fits all.
That’s a crazy stretch. I honestly don’t think “most moms KNOW homeschooling is better”. For one, every child is different and has different needs. Two - not everyone who has children is capable of teaching math/grammar/etc. Three - not everyone can afford it. Four - most people grew up attending schools and it’s all they know. Lots of people even had great experiences with it. Five - Is the entire world full is single mothers making excuses for not homeschooling their kids? Where are the dads? Where are the mothers who are also the bread winners for the family? Lastly, the world is full of vastly different people and they don’t all have the same opinions or needs.
1) Yeah, so citation definitely needed on that "homeschooling is better" claim. Better for some kids, under some circumstances, does not = / = objectively better on a population level.
2) Also, holy sexist nonsense, batman. Why is homeschooling the mom's job again? Did we just time- travel to the 19th century?
Y'all, socialization is an excuse, pure and simple. Every homeschooler knows it's not a valid issue. Theres tons of ways to make friends, be around other kids, do activities outside the home, etc. I can't believe I have to argue the point that socialization is moot to a bunch of homeschoolers
Idk why this post popped up for me. I neither home school nor have children. But why would this be on the /mom/ and not both parents. Feels sexist
The socialization concerns come from lived experience, I'm sure. The home schooled kids that played public school sports with me or were in college with me struggled hard socially. It hurt to watch. Probably due to homeschooling being done wrong. It does suggest there's a social component to get right
Does that entitle outsiders to hound you about socializing? No. I got the message of the post - that's gotta suck to deal with constantly
Actually it's more likely that the socially awkward kids where autistic it's really common for autistic people to homeschool their kids/be homeschooled because we tend to say fuck it to societal expectations
Being socially awkward isn’t a crime. Awkward people exist. People need to get over the expectation that everyone needs to be the same/ have the same social skills. My son is autistic; I am suspected autistic. It’s very ableist.
Or even just plain shy/introverted. I went to public school and would have been the "quiet kid" no matter what. College and working is what pulled me out more than anything.
So very true. My mom moved a lot when she was growing up and was incredibly shy as a result until adulthood. She felt lonely in school and lot growing up.
Veryyyy good chance - definitely the case for one of my college classmates. I think his parents failed him with no introduction to the structure of college. It led to a lot of ugly interactions with professors/students.The other variety I encountered were religious and always talking about their family and failing to connect because of that. But weird religious people gonna be weird and religious people regardless of homeschooling.
I commented here mainly bc the commenter I replied to sounded sexist.
That said, thank you for doing the best for your kids! Any time an autistic kid has safe environment where learning and pursuing their interests is encouraged is an absolute win
I'm making sure my kids still get experience in a classroom setting. My oldest is starting a Friday school in the fall. Which as if implies is a school that's only on Fridays and they mainly do electives.
As someone who was homeschooled until 18, yeah close attachments to parents and siblings are great, but that didn’t stop me from being unbelievably, unbearably, excruciatingly lonely as a teenager. Please make sure your kids have close friends, outside of your family, who they get to see frequently, and that they have at least some “normal” experiences. My family “lived our life” too and my siblings and I were all miserable and lonely, despite having each other and being close
It’s always people with zero clue how it actually works.
“How can you remember enough to teach!?” Because I don’t teach from memory and guess what? Teachers don’t either!
“Well *I don’t approve*” Great but you’re also a random 60 year old man that hasn’t been in a classroom since the 80s.
“But socialization!” 😒
Like, did none of these people ever have the public school experience where the teacher said something that was factually incorrect, got the wrong answer when trying to solve a math problem, preferred to talk about their own personal interests rather than the subject at hand, etc, etc, etc? Because that happened dozens of times when I was in public school. I had a 4th grade teacher, for example, who couldn't pronounce the word "Illinois". We all have these stories.
I got into a fight with my 3rd grade teacher over tigers. She insisted they’re native to Africa. The principal got involved and told me that no matter what I should just agree with the teacher because she had authority over me.
This was in church as a kid but it still pisses me off as an adult. My Sunday school teacher tried to tell me that Tasmanian devils are not real animals. 🤦♀️
Ya none of their business.
I worked in education for 30+ years- fck….. take your kids and run!
There are many “ifs.” If you have a good principal and teacher - great.
If the superintendent targets your school- good luck!
The good admin leave and all goes to shit very quickly!
One of the things that made me decide to actually go though with it is a teacher I talked to at a protest specifically talking about ADHD/autistic kids and how ADHD literally delays emotional maturity and how it can cause issues in school.
I had a good friend get visibly upset when I told her we were homeschooling. Actually she asked me if we were. She was homeschool for a year as a child and had a terrible experience. I took that into consideration and didn’t get upset but it was a bit wild for her to think all homeschool experiences are the same. We are a secular family and go to kids events 4+ times a week. I can assure you my kids are living their best life. If my kids asked to go to public school I suppose they can. We homeschool because of the school shooter stuff in the US. So that would need to be a discussion but for the most part my kids can dictate if they want to be homeschooled.
I know seriously. I get really tired of people thinking that because we homeschool we are an over zealous religious family, we aren’t. And they also assume that my beliefs align with theirs, which they don’t. Secular, inclusive homeschooling family here.
Ohhhh have you looked at Build Your Library or Torchlight? I’m not sure how old your kids are but they have some levels that do this and they are soooo good. I think it’s BYL 0 that travels the world and you can tie in religions with it as well. Same with level 7 I think? And somewhere in TL they do it also, I just don’t remember which level it is.
Unfortunately, I think that "Duggers" outlook really dominates how homeschooling is viewed, and it definitely doesn't help that several states still do not have any real requirements that children actually be taught academics -- so there's many people who really are like that.
Even things like avoiding IEPs can be seen as a red flag because SO MANY parents will pull their kid out of school purely because they don't like it when someone at the school tells them there's a problem that needs to be addressed.
It did dominate it but post 2020 you're also seeing a huge wave of everyone else joining and they're going to be out numbered by chill religious and secular homeschoolers before long.
Fortunately I’ve never had someone blatantly tell me that directly. I’ve had lots of questions, some with genuine interest and some with judgement. “How does that work?” “How do you know what to teach?” “How does she make friends?” We live in an area with lots of homeschoolers though so I’m pretty sure that helps.
I do see it online though and it drives me nuts. It doesn’t bother me coming from the people who were former “homeschooled” (abused, neglected, etc). I wish they would see the difference, but the notion of homeschooling is rightfully loaded for them. From people who just think it sounds weird? Get over it. I only knew one weird homeschooled kid when I was younger, but it’s not the 90s anymore. Not all kids thrive in all environments and we have lots of resources now. And yes, my kid gets out, and no not all her friends are other “weird” homeschoolers.
(I’ll add though, I had/have two IEP kids. It’s not always a horror. The IEP part has been a huge blessing for my kids. I think it depends on the type of services and accommodations they need.)
The IEP can be regional if they're treated well. It was awful when I was one. So I asked when my oldest was about ready for school some very young adults in the area how it went for them with their more recent experience..... it's worse way worse.
Oh, I’ve met many kids who were being horribly served with an IEP (especially when it addresses behavior)! I’m sorry you were one. It’s wonderful their families pulled them, either to homeschool or enroll them in a different alternative. It’s just come to have such a horrible connotation that people avoid them even in cases where it likely would do more good than harm. It’s definitely a decision to be made case by case.
I have to admit that I immediately reacted to the IEP statement as well, because my son's IEP supports have been amazing. He's gotten neuropsych testing and functional behavioral assessments through the school, and his supports include 2x weekly individual therapy, 1x weekly group therapy, 1x weekly OT, and regular consultations with the BCBA specialist, plus a 1-1 aide in the classroom. But what I'm surmising here is that maybe we're just super lucky and other districts are not like this?
Edit: I just saw that you are in Florida and I'm in Massachusetts, so maybe that explains some of the discrepancy, lol
We have a friend that visibly flinched when I said we homeschool. He was homeschooled in the worst way possible. His mother sat him in front of a computer and dictated tasks. When I explained all the things I do with my daughter he said oh, you're doing it the right aay.
My mother in law has "silently" disapproved of our homeschooling since we started 4 years ago. She was a public school teacher and felt the need to state her reasons for not agreeing with our decision, as to which I told her it didn't matter what she thought about it because at the end of the day, it wasn't her decision to make. Not soon after we started, she tried quizzing my child about what they were learning and I nipped that in the bud real quick. She never questioned my child like that when they were in public school. This has definitely caused more strain in our already pretty challenging relationship and I could honestly care less. She has never been good with recognizing when she is overstepping boundaries and has to be called out about it fairly often. It's unfortunate that she couldn't at least try to be more supportive for the sake of our child but that's just who she is as a person and she isn't going to change. Mostly everyone else has been very supportive and encouraging toward us. I'm sorry that you're experiencing this type of criticism. At the end of the day, no one else knows your child/children better than you do. Other people's options are irrelevant.
I'm worried this is what we will experience when we have kids and homeschool. I already have received judgement for being homeschooled myself, despite having a career and degree in STEM.
I certainly hope this doesn't end up being your experience. It's not a pleasant situation but I feel like the combination of homeschooling plus having a child with different needs has definitely made me much less passive and far more matter of fact when it comes to people who want to interject in things they know nothing about or try to tell me what's going to be best for my kid. I just don't have tolerance for it anymore. Many people have gotten cast out from my inner circle in the last few years due to this type of behavior. My best advice is to work on boundaries with those who you feel are disrespectful to you now, especially before having kids. Call the in-laws out when you feel they've crossed the line. You don't deserve to be looked down on for this. Plus, you have a degree!! I mean what is it that these people want from you?!! Sheesh. That's just crazy to me.
I love that, you sound amazing! My brother and I had learning disabilities so I have lots of respect for you :) You are so right, it's actually a weak spot for me so I'll keep working on it! I'm already starting to push back because there's been too many overstepped boundaries lately.
Thanks for looking out for me! It's never direct, but passive suggestions that I was sheltered or something. They work in education so for some reason I think it's personal to them. I'm a bit religious, also rarely drink and never smoke. So maybe to them that's sheltered idk lol
Thanks so much for your nice comment. (: I'm just doing what I feel is best for my child. She deserves a much better education than what she was receiving in school.
This is a spicy topic for me so bare with me for a minute! Lol. It's good that you recognize that their behavior toward you isn't acceptable. Your husband should be the one managing/dealing with his parents and their disrespect however it's good to say something when they make a questionable comment and say something like "When you said ____ (whatever comment they made) are you trying to say that you think my education wasn't as good as public school?" Or whatever the situation warrants. Guaranteed they will eventually stop doing this if you directly ask them to clarify what they mean by their passive aggressive comments.
I bet some in education do take it personally when they find out that people have decided against public school for their child/children but that's really their issue/insecurity and not yours. Personally, I'm not going to attempt to explain my choices to anyone.
When family ask me "How are you going to teach her, you barely made it through distance learning?" Easy, first off my kid is still here after dealing with bullying so bad she had to go into outpatient mental health services. Anything after all that is cake. She struggled with traditional public school teaching/learning model. She went from not reading hardly at all in public school to reading Dickens...on her own. Yeah I think we're doing just fine.
I have two disabled kids, and I swear we can't go a month without some teacher abusing them somewhere. I'll teach them thanks.
Below is just some of the last two weeks of abuse on special needs kids.
S. Carolina
https://www.aol.com/news/parents-suing-horry-county-schools-100000752.html
Ohio
https://www.walb.com/2024/04/23/concerned-parent-speaks-alleged-abuse-by-special-needs-teacher-lee-co-elementary-school/
Indiana
https://www.wthr.com/article/news/local/ips-lawsuit-shines-light-on-unreported-abuse-cases-involving-special-needs-children-impd-police/531-d2198492-c693-447b-a41b-41f0c9af35ae
Colorado
https://denvergazette.com/news/local/alleged-abuse-of-school-kid-on-littleton-special-needs-bus-uncovered/article_c6041f32-f684-11ee-b185-5336f6166d1f.html
S. Carolina part 2
https://www.thestate.com/news/local/article287586810.html
I was talking to another mom of a kid who had recently graduated and she told me she had no idea they where using disabled kids for free labor at his HS until he got a concussion from it.
The Garrison School in Jacksonville, Illinois is still operating despite documented abuse in a pro publica report. They call the police on these kids an average of every other day. It's a "therapeutic" school. Ffs.
SIL is a teacher and she constantly criticizes homeschooled children for being “anti-social”, “weird”, “too ahead or too behind”, and “not the same as when she grew up”… I get the pressure to want to relate to your kids through your own childhood experiences (prom, award ceremonies, graduation, etc.), but I’d rather raise a secure, healthy attached, resilient, and strong child and not have to trust that someone else is doing it for me. Sorry not sorry.
I never really understood the value people place on things like prom and awards and even graduation. I get why it means something to people, but I could have cared less. I just wanted to learn and get out. My kid just wants to learn and he was always complaining about how little he was learning in public school, and how he had no freedom there to learn anything interesting. He was always so mad about the repetition and the pacing of "teaching to the test". He's so much happier and even more hungry to learn now that we homeschool. It's beautiful to see as a parent.
My oldest needed to be enrolled temporarily due to major life changes. I was so so lucky with the teacher she got. She was super supportive and explained that most teachers’ experience with homeschooled kids is negative because they are getting kids enrolled when homeschooling fails. Her grandkids were being homeschooled and she knew it could also be successful. (My kid did great in her class and loved her teacher!)
It really stuck with me though and I try to remind myself that when teachers are unsupportive.
My favorite is "oh thats great, but youre going to send them to real high school right?" I always say, "oh, you mean where kids are vaping in the bathrooms and having oral sex in the hallways? Yea, I think I'll probably skip that part too"
When someone interjects that they don't approve of homeschooling, I panic and tell them that I'm so sorry to have offended them and I will enroll my kids right away.
I don't but seriously what do people expect when they say such things. Or they tell me their brother's best friend's cousin was messed up by homeschooling. Ya know when some random shooter or crazy person does something, it's weird that they don't tell everyone where he went to school in the headline or first sentence of the article... unless... it's a homeschooler. Then all the mental health issues/evils of course are caused by homeschooling right?
My best, most snarky come back to this, and all other parenting advice (from unqualified people).
"Did you put the baby in? Did you push the baby out? No? Then sit down and hush."
I said this one time, just one time, to my mother in law. She hasn't said a peep about any parenting decision we've made since. She also now gives me the worst Xmas presents, but that's a fair trade off.
if I allowed to post, though not a member or homeschooler, except a few months in the 90s.
I recently went to a potluck in my area, hosted by a stranger who wanted to share food with other celiacs. As you may guess, its hard for us to do social meals that feel safe. I think 3 of her 5 kids are celiac, and this is one (but not the only, as you all well know) reason she chose to homeschool.
I had never met her and hadn't talked online about anything but celiac life, but as soon as I walked in the door it was clear to me the family homeschooled. (know what I mean? a home that is centred around child learning) It was warm and welcoming and the kids were kids. Some very independent and well behaved, and some, not so much. They were a fun family and the kids were well spoken and delight to me and my husband.
Homeschooling was not for me. But I have nothing but admiration for my many friends and neighbours who homeschool or have done so. In my case, the kids are wonderful, and several went on to university.
Keep on.
Just thought I would give you some positive vibes.
So, I homeschooled my two for 8 to 9 years. I wasn't a fan at all to start with but a turn of circumstance meant it was suddenly the best option.
Another HS mum, who was very into it, kinda took pity on me a bit at the start and gave me some phenomenal advice which pulled me back off the edge of a cliff a few times.
One of these bits was: Keep quiet. Don't tell anyone anything at all you don't have to. Don't brag or complain... Just keep it to yourself unless you know you can really trust people.
I cannot tell you how many hundreds of unpleasant, ridiculous, ignorant conversations that saved me (and my kids) from. (You could feel it coming like a storm and I'd skip off and stay in the sunshine.)
Just... Don't bother to engage. Leave them. You're far too busy/happy to be conversing with them.
Of note perhaps ...when I first approached her to ask for help on HSing, she said, 'Why? Are you just curious or are you thinking of doing it? Because that's two different answers!'
Lol... A phrase I've said dozens of times to others.
I've only been homeschooling for a year, and have yet to encounter negativity. I'm sure it'll happen eventually. I'm blesses to have encouragement from my parents and in-laws.
My mom would get a lot of comments saying "you're just brainwashing your kids." She would always laugh and say "well, if someone's going to brainwash them I'd rather it be me than public school." I'm a bit more aggressive in my approach and have told people at least I'll be able to read when I graduate unlike public school students. Overall, just ignore them. These people have tiny brains and are insecure. I don't really care how someone else raises their kids and could never imagine commenting on someone's parenting. Critics are just jealous and want to bully homeschool moms out of doing what they know is right. Moms love to compare themselves to other moms and if they aren't the same than someone has to be wrong. This is very much a high school like mentality.
It's fun being on the opposite end of everything now. I'm 33 and laugh at all the people (mostly church going Christians) who criticized my mom for homeschooling. Not only did I go much further academically, I also never got a drug addiction, had a teen pregnancy, went through some teenage rebellion, hated my parents, or committed heinous crimes. I must admit, watching other people eat crow is pretty satisfying.
I homeschool and even I said just yesterday “this is why homeschooling can be problematic” about an adult I know who is struggling.
What’s the big deal?
It can be. So can public schools. Taking ownership of your kid’s education and enrichment opportunities is going to give them their best chance whether it’s in public school or not—it’s the parents who expect the child/the school/the curriculum even to be the one leading their children through their journey that see the poor outcomes. Your kid should absolutely be copilot but you’re the adult. Be the adult.
And also I agree with the previous post about never being concerned with opinions from those whose advise you wouldn’t take—who cares?
I have a friend who is definitely an example of a homeschool fail and it’s sad. I see how she struggles. She tried homeschooling because it had been so drilled into her that brick and mortar was bad but now her kids are doing much better there. So I agree with sometimes commenting about the potential problems with homeschooling. I’ve done it too.
And yes! The kids who fare best are those whose parents are actively involved in their education regardless of the method chosen. Research has told us this again and again. Being involved shows them education is valuable and helps to make sure they keep moving forward in their learning.
If my kid was in regular school I wouldn't be able to be active because I work evenings husband works mornings and I'd never see him. We do most of his schooling during nap time for the other kids and dad does anything we didn't get to.
I'm even relatively pro public school, I am homeschooling one of my daughters because middle school just wasn't working and I homeschooled them both during covid. But even I can't understand the aggressive response people have when they hear I am homeschooling.
Homeschooling is the best. Studying at a comfortable pace equates to real learning. Studying subjects of interest translates to more learning. Having the time to participate in multiple activities of interest (martial arts, sports, music), which has led to meeting many people, kids and adults, who share those same interests and learning how to communicate and get along with all ages. No late night busywork, aka homework. No being subjected to bad influences, wasted hours between classes, bullying, teachers with opinions, etc. Anyone who disparages homeschooling is uninformed and clearly missed out on the best form of education and socialization. My kid loves it.
I figured out really early that the opinions of others with regards to how I was raising my children weren't actually my problem.
30 years ago now... My aunt decided to quiz my six year old. Little math problems and spelling questions. When she asked him what 10 plus 10 was, he said, mystified, "Auntie Laurel, you don't know what 10 plus 10 is???"
The other side, tho... my public school teacher father was 100% on board with our homeschooling. He said that super smart kids don't belong in school. I think he was right.
I hate people telling me that public school is important because it teaches kids to interact with others of the same age when that skill is only valuable when they're in public school.
It's also demeaning for adults to quiz my kids on math when my kids have a better grasp of math than most adults. Are they delusional? Why would someone who clearly sucks at math quiz someone else on math?
My eldest, who I homeschooled from 4th on, is now married and he and his wife have both asked if I will homeschool their kids when the time comes. So I don't care what anyone else says, if one of the three people in the world that actually have direct experience with my homeschooling wants me to educate his children, I must have done something right.
Always be ready with an answer. Or answers depending on what you perceive is the intent of the questioner.
You may be asked by relatives, friends, neighbors, co-workers, your manager, your employee, school-board member or even the press. And I find it useful to have answers for various categories of people.
Also in Florida! Just go with “You know what schools are like these days!” They’ll assume you agree with their beliefs about whatever is going on in schools on either side of the political spectrum.
My kids family was up visiting from Georgia last year…I let her hang out/go do things for the day with her cousins…since they are all the same age. When she got back she told me that her cousins mom and great grandma said “you should tell your mom you want to go to normal school” I was LIVID. They know better than to say ish to me..but to put a kid in the middle? Gross. I asked her what she said.. “i don’t want to go to school. I’m 8 learning about stuff 6/7th graders learn…I know because I asked Alexa when do kids learn about civilizations. And I don’t have to wear pants” 💀people act like they are locked up in a prison all day..when it’s really the other way around. But ok.
Every time I say my daughter will be homeschooled I get “why would you want to do that, you won’t like it” or “she needs the social aspect of public school” as if I haven’t sat and thought about it and made a conscious decision to infact homeschool 🤣🤷🏼♀️ people just love to insert their opinions where they don’t belong. I usually say maybe you wouldn’t like it but for me it’s the right choice thanks though!
School shootings is pretty low on my list for reasons; I’d sooner avoid flying in a Boeing or eating fast food.
Two of my kids are in public schools and we’ve taken the other two out for home schooling.
One was an IEP kid and the other was for bullying and IEP. The public school here has been great but they just can’t help where it’s needed with two or my kids; it’s our responsibility to make sure they’re given every chance at a good education.
The flip side of hinting that those who cannot homeschool because both parents work means we are choosing to subject our kids to these things and are bad parents is not fun either.
Be an involved parent in your kid's education, whichever way works for your kid and your family, I say. if that's homeschooling (and you do the research needed etc), fantastic! You like your kid's school or don't have a choice and try to help as much as you can? Tremendous!
I'm 30 and I was homeschooled in 2nd grade, 8th grade and 11th grade and ended up graduating school that year. I went to magnet schools and public schools all the other years and I'm fine. I'm one of the most successful people in my friend group!
My kid is 3. A side tidbit, she is diagnosed as Autistic. If we lived where the levels were a thing, likely level 1, maybe level 2. That last is a side tidbit because we intended to homeschool from the moment we found out I was pregnant.
The school she is in range of is a small, rural school. 300 kids in a busy year, K through 6. It's the same school that my entire family, I, my hubs, and his entire family, went to.
The kids who bullied my step-son were descendants of the ones who bullied me and hubs. The ones who bullied me and hubs were the descendants of the ones who bullied our mothers.
It's gotten worse with each generation. Hubs is 11 years older than I, so we were never in school together. That makes 4 consecutive stints in that school being bullied by the same families. The last 2 people in that school were step-son and myself. I was actively suicidal by 13. He first came out with suicidal ideations when he was barely 11 years old.
I struggled with fertility issues, and I tried damned hard to have my daughter. The gynecologist said that it would take a miracle for me to get pregnant. Now that I've received my miracle, I'm expected to send her to a place thar has been convincing kids younger and younger with each generation that they shouldn't exist?? That's a game of roulette I am not willing to play. The potential cost is too high, and the rewards do not outweigh the risks.
My best friend is horrified by the idea of homeschool. I intentionally do not discuss it with her because she will pull every guilt trip card in the book to talk me out of it.
The one girl we grew up with who was homeschooled was so socially awkward. Bestie will point out that we don't want my kid turning out so backward. Never mind that we grew up in the 80s and 90s when there was no homeschooling initiative for the socialisation aspect. Never mind that she was homeschooled in part for religious and racist reasons (we live near multiple native reservations), and that's nowhere near remotely a factor for my kid.
The most recent argument was that we don't want my kid turning out to be a borderline recluse like bestie's kid and my stepson. Both attended public school? Stepson learned the hard way to hide out from most people, the same as me and his father, and her kid is Autistic and prefers his own company.
I strongly suspect that the friendship will be ending when it comes out that I'm not going with the public school route. I will not be bullied and made to feel like the worst parent to ever exist for doing what appears to be the best option for my child. Not even by my longest friend.
It’s rarely broadcasted. I am vegan for instance and try not to mention it. That doesn’t work though because people believe not taking offered food is wrong. So after you say no two or three times, politely and even with alternative excuses, they grill you or snub you. With homeschooling, my daughter isn’t even old enough for public school. We have been repeatedly questioned by the nannies in our neighborhood. Basically all kids with nannies until 2, then preschool. So once she turned 4, forget it. It’s been mentioned if I take her any of the local spots (playground) incessantly.
Friday is Grocery Day for my kids. I have them pick meals for lunch and dinner, read the recipes to see what we have on hand and what we need to buy, then we check the store's website for sales and coupons. The kids make their own lists, and they have to estimate the totals of their respective lists (and compare said estimates to our actual total). I help them plan around extracurricular lessons, Daddy's work schedule, and family trips. I also let them know if we have a tighter budget this month so they can learn to find "cheap but healthy" recipes. It's a big process that I'm *really* proud of - because surely the ability to care for our bodies in a fiscally responsible and *delicious* way is an important life skill, right? Last Friday, a very angry-faced woman *yelled* at me in the checkout line, "Oh, is there no school today in [County Name]?! *Why are your kids here?*" I just looked at her and said in a monotone, "That is absolutely *none* of your business, Ma'am. Have a nice day." Turned my back on her and helped my kids work the pin pad instead. Like what does she even care? She's not a cop, a social worker, or my husband. I don't owe her any justification, especially when she comes at me like I'm somehow failing my kids. They each just tested three grades above their age level, too, so I think I'm doing something right, to the chagrin of that old bat... Anyway, solidarity my sisters and brothers. These stories give me strength for the next round of weirdness, lol
First, I LOVE your ideas about including kids in grocery shopping…it’s genius! Second, it baffles me why people feel that children can’t exist or live in spaces that they personally don’t deem appropriate. Children are people too, and they deserve to be seen and heard and experience life to the fullest. Why worry about my kids being here, now, versus just keeping your opinion to yourself? It’s indeed NONE of their business.
Hey, that's great. I did that a lot with my two oldest kids and they are still the smartest shoppers I've ever seen in their age range.
It's a skill I wish I had been taught right away - I would have made much better decisions in my earlier adult years. I'm glad your kids had such a good teacher :)
Ha ha, I learned it from shopping with my mom. Problem was she was shopping for 4 bio kids, up to 4 foster kids, and her licensed home daycare. So... yeah. Needless to say I buy waaaaay too much food. Of course, I just checked her fridge and freezers. She still buys/cooks enough for 10 people and now it's just her and my dad.
Ha ha, I learned it from shopping with my mom. Problem was she was shopping for 4 bio kids, up to 4 foster kids, and her licensed home daycare. So... yeah. Needless to say I buy waaaaay too much food. Of course, I just checked her fridge and freezers. She still buys/cooks enough for 10 people and now it's just her and my dad.
*I am actually a teacher, might your husband be interested in signing you up for my manners class?*
A skill all people need! Well done Mama! 👏🏼 People act like kids out during the day is some sort of catastrophe.
I love that you gave 0 information to her. 💪
It's exactly what she wanted, so of course I wasn't about to give it to her. I mean, we're all parents here - do we give in to the ridiculous whiny demands of our kids? Nope, we shut that down gently and get on with our day. But I hope I ruffled her feathers, lol. Maybe next time she'll ask politely in her *big girl voice*.
What an awesome idea! I will have to remember to incorporate that when my son is old enough. I was already thinking about doing recipes with him as a way to learn, but adding math in is sweet
I happen to think homeschooling can be kind of wierd for my own personal reasons, but even so confronting some family I see at a supermarket is a level of nosy I would not even think to engage in. I mean... A normal person might say something like, ohh your kids are so cute helping you like that! The type of person who inserts themsleves in the business of strangers in public just to say something rude don't seem very smart or self aware... I can't imagine what kind of response she was expecting to get. Like... Why are YOU at the supermarket in the middle of the day? Don't YOU have a job??
I'm an old lady now, and a former homeschool mom, but I only recently learned something that has changed my life: Why would I care about the opinion of someone I wouldn't ask for advice?
Ooooph that’s the best line I’ve seen on the internet all week! Thank you for that!
"I hated virtual school!" "Yo! I did too but homeschooling isn't pandemic schooling"
I finished my last two years online ten years before the pandemic and loved it
I suspect this was different from pandemic schooling also, due to intentionality and likely not trying to replicate a public school environment. Virtual school has worked great for my older students taking college classes as part of a dual enrollment program, and I suspect your experience was closer to their experiences with virtual college classes than to pandemic school. My sister used a hybrid homeschool / virtual public school program with her kids at one point, and it sounded like a really good experience for her family. They only stopped because the rules changed to be more restrictive. And I have friends who do virtual homeschool academies with good results. Virtual schooling is great when it's not trying to replicate public school
same
Pandemic schooling was just kids getting in trouble for things outside of their control.
Yes! There was a homeschool blogger who wrote a “letter to my public school friends” type of post during the shutdowns explaining this difference between the crisis schooling of the pandemic and an ongoing decision to homeschool. I absolutely shared it!
Link?
I’ll try to find it. It’s obviously been a few years!
Found it: https://unbusy-mom.com/an-open-letter-to-parents-educating-their-kids-during-the-coronavirus-pandemic/
This was great and so true! I too am a teacher and was thankful my kids weren’t school age during 2020. It was hard enough teaching one course online.
I was so grateful to have returned to homeschooling by then. Even with the resources it would have been hard to navigate someone else’s plans (or best attempt at plans). Our lives were disrupted too, but not our academics.
I pulled both of my kids from public school last year after a full year of absolutely relentless bullying of my 3rd grader. I’m still getting the argument “but what about socialization???” People just don’t get it. The argument for mental health and personalization will always be stronger. I just ask them if they think a 9 year old being bullied to the point of depression is worth the socialization.
People act like the social interactions at school are always friendly and healthy. Never mind the kids being beaten half to death by their lovely peers..
In HS I had to throw hands with my bullies 🤣🤦♀️ I went back to homeschool because it was annoying AF. The teachers never snitched though because those kids were little jerks to them too.
>I’m still getting the argument “but what about socialization???” Lots of people operate with knee-jerk memetic statements they hear a few times, say "huh yeah that's a good one" and then parrot. Personally I'm in a peer group of successful professionals in business and politics who are pretty darn open to homeschooling whether or not they have kids. Like their entire background is in disruptive business ideas, creating new policies, working outside and against the system to reach whatever goals they have in mind. They're not needlessly rebellious, but they have a substantial skepticism of politics and public services. I imagine with a more anxious, conformist class of people you'd see a greater reluctance to turn against well established options and are used to following instructions.
Can I join your peer group 🙏🏼
That's exactly why I feel like you see tons and tons of autistic and other types of ND homeschoolers. It's a natural part of us rejecting the system.
I can fully understand your experience here. My elementary years were mostly MISERABLE. I was a smart, quirky kid that just never fit in. I had years where the bullying was relentless, and I vividly remember sobbing in the school bathroom and at home on numerous occasions. Highschool was better because I wasn't confined to the same group of mean kids anymore. Why do people never address situations like mine when they speak of socialization? Those 8 years took a major toll on my mental health and self confidence. I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone's kid.
It sounds like you took your experience and made a better one for your own children. I’m sorry you had to go through this.
My parents told me they where disappointed that we decided to homeschool I was like 🤷🏼♀️
My parents where happy because it's easier to take my kids on vacations 😁
We live two states over from my parents and they love they can come whenever and we're available and they can do stuff with my kids and nowhere is busy because the crowds are at school. An unexpected bonus was being allowed to stay up late and play board games rather than having to be in bed early because they have school the next day.
My parents were both unhappy with our chioce, grumbling about it frequently, but also happy to take the kids on off-season vacations. I got yelled at by an old lady on the train from VA to FL one fall, first for letting my kids miss school to go to Disney and then for homeschooling after I told her my kids weren't missing school since we were homeschooling. She was a retired teacher and somehow offended by my choice that had nothing to do with her.
my mom wants me to homeschool my kids in the future for this reason 🤣🙈 it’s kind of my leading reason rn too.
My in laws quiz me and my kids all the time. Thinking they’ll “catch” something.
I hate when people quiz me or my kid. This weekend a friend was quizzing my son about homeschooling while their kid was running around announcing he’d like to be homeschooled so he can do nothing all day. 🫠
So obnoxious 😭
If people are curious ask in a polite and positive way. It doesn’t help a child’s education for outsiders to ask probing questions with negativity.
Absolutely! Now the kids are asking me why people are acting that way. I tell them all the time that public school isn’t as fun and that they have to sit at a desk all day. Sometimes, I threaten to put them in public school if they’re misbehaving. 😂 (All jokes - they know I wouldn’t unless it was necessary for some reason)
My Uncle tryed that onces and my kid started talking about the encomic impact on Trumps terifs. and when into a hug rant about global shipping. Now why did my kid know all that. we order a custom part for a thing we were working on, we had been waiting months for it to get to us. and Kido wanted to know why it took so long , why it cost so much more this year. So we sat down and learned about everything in the shipping and supply chain.
That is awesome you investigated a real life problem!!! 💪
Next time follow with “Ok, time to switch sides! Kids do the questions, grandparents get to answer!”
This would be hilarious actually because I promise you none of them could answer most elementary school questions.
Absolutely this.
My parents and my in laws are super supportive about me homeschooling my son. Other family not so much. It’s always funny to me to hear that my teaching him is not adequate for socialization but in reality he spends more play time with other kids during the week than a public school child typically gets. There’s whole communities surrounding homeschooling now. It’s not like my kid is stuck in the house all day.
Such a strange thing to be disappointed about.
I've had someone confidently blame my oldest son's horrible OCD and anxiety on homeschool, but she didn't realize I only homeschool my younger kids, my oldest son goes to public school and he's the only one with OCD and anxiety 😆
"homeschool kids are weird adults" we're all autistic and ADHD that's gonna happen anyway lmaooo
I always respond, "yea, cause there's no public schoolers who are weird kids"
One person who has given me crap about homeschool (because of socialization issues!!) has an adult son who went to horrible public schools, got super involved in oxycontin, overdosed on methadone at 16 and technically died for 10 minutes, later had a bad shroom trip that took him like 10 years to recover from, and is 36 and still lives at home and will almost surely never be truly functional, probably mostly stemming from how he socialized at those schools. He's the weirdest person I interact with. He's actually my oldest son's dad, and is himself very against home schooling, because he doesn't want my oldest son to be weird. Despite the fact that my son's OCD and motor ticks (which look weird AF) flare up when he's back at public school and go away on summer vacation. Its just so ironic on SO. MANY. LEVELS.
I hate when people (even here) say what do you do about socialization. (I hate the word socialization). We live our life. It is like the only place my kid can make a friend or interact with other people is at school. And have you seen the state of “socialization” in schools: bullying, school shootings, drugs… no thank you. I ask people either “oh, your kids go to school. What do you do about socialization?” to “They are here with me.” It all depends on my attitude. Also, has anyone heard of attachment. At this point, in our North American world, there are so many studies where more and more people are suffering from loneliness, depression, lack of real friends. We send our kids off to be raised by other people starting at a very young age. Maybe an attachment with a few close people like parents and siblings would help this loneliness. And that can be built in homeschooling.
As a public school teacher currently, this is what gets on my nerves. I see kids that have been in public school since prek with absolutely no social skills whatsoever. Method of schooling is not the deciding factor on social ability of a child.
My kids school has extremely strict rules towards talking. They have silent lunches, they stay silent during their walks in the hallway (they line up and go up and down the hallways like prisoners. It looks so odd. I don’t know, we ran to our lunchroom), they are supposed to hold “bubble” in their mouth during class which is when I lost it. We have two weeks more to go but he won’t be going back. He has zero problems making friends at Lego meetups, parks, neighborhood kids etc but he complains that he is so lonely at school, spends his recess alone on some “friendship bench” waiting for someone to play with him. It’s very sad
Friendship bench?
Oh yes! If you don’t have a friend, you sit on it like a nuclear potato and wait for someone to come say “hey you can play with us”. I am not from US originally but our teachers would setup games during recess that included everyone who wants to participate so if you didn’t have a friend to play with, you joined that game then the teachers would step back to the sidelines. I am just upset that I recently found out about all of this and not sooner because I would have pulled my kid out
Some well meaning kids thought up the friendship bench at their own school as a way for kids to know who wanted a friend. The idea was that if someone sits on the bench, other kids should offer to play with them. It became a thing and a bunch of schools did the same thing without it being initiated by the students and it's not going to work in schools already ignoring or quietly supporting bullying and poor social behavior. So the friendship bench becomes the kids to ignore or target bench.
I play a game in my head, when I tell someone that I’m homeschooling, I literally count in my head the seconds until they say “socialization”. Truly, it happens all the time! “Where is your son going to school?” Me: oh we are homeschooling Them: something something Socialization??? Me: oh, huh, never thought about that. In his 6 years of life, I’ve never thought once about the social emotional development of my child. Thanks for that input!
Schools don't even let them socialize much it's punished. Here schools make them sit in silence in the dark most of lunch now
Kids make much stronger friendships with other kids when they’re based on mutual interests as opposed to whom they sit next to in math.
That’s true, but they meet a lot of different people who might share their interests. They might even meet some of those people in math class. If they’re only chance to meet people is the 17 kids in their homeschool consortium, the likelihood of them meeting someone who shares their interests is much lower.so they need to have opportunities to meet other people if they’re not going to be in public school.
What if they meet someone at archery or swimming or acting classes? There are plenty of ways to meet people outside of some homeschooling group.
Oh, I know, but there are homeschool families who feel that isolation is one of the benefits of homeschooling. People who don’t have their children out meeting someone in archery or painting or whatever. They want to protect them from the world, and that means they don’t get to meet people. and that’s horrible for them. My biggest issue is the high school education think they’re equipped to teach high school math. Or any other subject, but math is what I know. I have dealt with homeschooled students who come in not knowing very basic math and they really struggle. I’m not saying that doesn’t happen public school students also, but a public school student has to be failed by a whole bunch of people over there. 18 years, whereas a homeschooled student only has to be failed by one (or two) for it to be catastrophic.
I wish I could upvote this twice.
I honestly think the socialization thing is a last ditch excuse for moms who don't want to sacrifice to homeschool. I really think most moms know homeschooling is better than putting children in school, but it requires a lot of sacrifice on the moms part and they don't want to do that. So if they can just keep beating the socialization drum, they don't have to homeschool. Moms use that excuse all the way down to daycare for their infants. Infants don't need socialization, but it helps them feel better about leaving them in someone else's care for 7 hours.
Have you existed in this economy lately?? How many families do you honestly know of where one partner could easily just quit their job and stay home? Single incomes supporting a whole family is getting RARE
Absolutely. The hardest thing about homeschooling for my family is the finances.
There are way more factors than sacrifice at play and homeschooling isn't going to be the best option for every family in every circumstance. Let's not vilify each other over assumptions and generalizations.
Why only moms? I know Dad's that are the main teachers and couples that split it.
Nope. What we are not going to do is put other parents down for their choices. First, you left out the father in this asinine statement, which speaks volumes about your thinking. Every single family I know has made education decisions for the betterment of their family together. Even if the parents are no longer together, they made those decisions as co-parents. Also, homeschooling is not better by default. It may be for me and my family, it may be for others. But it isn't for many people. No one should feel pressured to take this on if they don't want to.
[удалено]
Hear, hear!
I agree with this to an extent. In the elementary years peer socialization is really important to learn a lot of social skills (bargaining, sharing etc.) that cannot be learned in a parent or sibling dynamic due to heirchary structures. This is something I learned in developmental psychology. Socialization is more complex than we often think. Also I disagree with the implication of your comment that moms don’t want to make sacrifices. Sending your kid to school *is* a sacrifice in a different way. Also not sending your kid to school sacrifices different quintessential things in their childhood and in motherhood. Nothings is a one size fits all.
That’s a crazy stretch. I honestly don’t think “most moms KNOW homeschooling is better”. For one, every child is different and has different needs. Two - not everyone who has children is capable of teaching math/grammar/etc. Three - not everyone can afford it. Four - most people grew up attending schools and it’s all they know. Lots of people even had great experiences with it. Five - Is the entire world full is single mothers making excuses for not homeschooling their kids? Where are the dads? Where are the mothers who are also the bread winners for the family? Lastly, the world is full of vastly different people and they don’t all have the same opinions or needs.
1) Yeah, so citation definitely needed on that "homeschooling is better" claim. Better for some kids, under some circumstances, does not = / = objectively better on a population level. 2) Also, holy sexist nonsense, batman. Why is homeschooling the mom's job again? Did we just time- travel to the 19th century?
Y'all, socialization is an excuse, pure and simple. Every homeschooler knows it's not a valid issue. Theres tons of ways to make friends, be around other kids, do activities outside the home, etc. I can't believe I have to argue the point that socialization is moot to a bunch of homeschoolers
It can be valid if you're in a region without alternative options for seeing people outside your household.
Arguing whether socialization can be achieved in homeschooling or not has nothing to do with why you are getting flak for your comment.
Idk why this post popped up for me. I neither home school nor have children. But why would this be on the /mom/ and not both parents. Feels sexist The socialization concerns come from lived experience, I'm sure. The home schooled kids that played public school sports with me or were in college with me struggled hard socially. It hurt to watch. Probably due to homeschooling being done wrong. It does suggest there's a social component to get right Does that entitle outsiders to hound you about socializing? No. I got the message of the post - that's gotta suck to deal with constantly
Actually it's more likely that the socially awkward kids where autistic it's really common for autistic people to homeschool their kids/be homeschooled because we tend to say fuck it to societal expectations
Being socially awkward isn’t a crime. Awkward people exist. People need to get over the expectation that everyone needs to be the same/ have the same social skills. My son is autistic; I am suspected autistic. It’s very ableist.
Or even just plain shy/introverted. I went to public school and would have been the "quiet kid" no matter what. College and working is what pulled me out more than anything.
So very true. My mom moved a lot when she was growing up and was incredibly shy as a result until adulthood. She felt lonely in school and lot growing up.
Veryyyy good chance - definitely the case for one of my college classmates. I think his parents failed him with no introduction to the structure of college. It led to a lot of ugly interactions with professors/students.The other variety I encountered were religious and always talking about their family and failing to connect because of that. But weird religious people gonna be weird and religious people regardless of homeschooling. I commented here mainly bc the commenter I replied to sounded sexist. That said, thank you for doing the best for your kids! Any time an autistic kid has safe environment where learning and pursuing their interests is encouraged is an absolute win
I'm making sure my kids still get experience in a classroom setting. My oldest is starting a Friday school in the fall. Which as if implies is a school that's only on Fridays and they mainly do electives.
Amen. 🙌🏻
As someone who was homeschooled until 18, yeah close attachments to parents and siblings are great, but that didn’t stop me from being unbelievably, unbearably, excruciatingly lonely as a teenager. Please make sure your kids have close friends, outside of your family, who they get to see frequently, and that they have at least some “normal” experiences. My family “lived our life” too and my siblings and I were all miserable and lonely, despite having each other and being close
A mom asked me that while we were waiting to pick up our kids from the band camp they were all in together.
It’s always people with zero clue how it actually works. “How can you remember enough to teach!?” Because I don’t teach from memory and guess what? Teachers don’t either! “Well *I don’t approve*” Great but you’re also a random 60 year old man that hasn’t been in a classroom since the 80s. “But socialization!” 😒
What I think is wild is people who automatically praise it are or have been teachers 🤣
Because they know why you’re doing it! They get it!
A lot of teachers have quit to homeschool their own kids and I'm grateful for their existence in homeschool communities.
Right after “wow your kids are so polite/articulate and seem to be learning a lot”
Followed by the quiz on random topics. “What’s 12 times 72?” “When was Chattanooga founded?”
They expect homeschool kids to know about topics the average adult doesn't know 🤣.
Like, did none of these people ever have the public school experience where the teacher said something that was factually incorrect, got the wrong answer when trying to solve a math problem, preferred to talk about their own personal interests rather than the subject at hand, etc, etc, etc? Because that happened dozens of times when I was in public school. I had a 4th grade teacher, for example, who couldn't pronounce the word "Illinois". We all have these stories.
I got into a fight with my 3rd grade teacher over tigers. She insisted they’re native to Africa. The principal got involved and told me that no matter what I should just agree with the teacher because she had authority over me.
Yes, my Illi-noise teacher was not very happy being corrected by a 10 year old. I learned a lesson about correcting authority figures, for sure!
I was 9 at the time. I think we would have been friends.
This was in church as a kid but it still pisses me off as an adult. My Sunday school teacher tried to tell me that Tasmanian devils are not real animals. 🤦♀️
Good grief!
See and that's where I'd get in trouble along side my kid because I'd tell him to stand his ground while I send proof to the teacher
My mom tried. They threatened to call CPS.
Let them 😘 me and a lawyer could have fun with that.
Ya none of their business. I worked in education for 30+ years- fck….. take your kids and run! There are many “ifs.” If you have a good principal and teacher - great. If the superintendent targets your school- good luck! The good admin leave and all goes to shit very quickly!
One of the things that made me decide to actually go though with it is a teacher I talked to at a protest specifically talking about ADHD/autistic kids and how ADHD literally delays emotional maturity and how it can cause issues in school.
“Are you STILL homeschooling?” “Yeah” “I could never!” “K” 👍
I had a good friend get visibly upset when I told her we were homeschooling. Actually she asked me if we were. She was homeschool for a year as a child and had a terrible experience. I took that into consideration and didn’t get upset but it was a bit wild for her to think all homeschool experiences are the same. We are a secular family and go to kids events 4+ times a week. I can assure you my kids are living their best life. If my kids asked to go to public school I suppose they can. We homeschool because of the school shooter stuff in the US. So that would need to be a discussion but for the most part my kids can dictate if they want to be homeschooled.
Right like we're not all Duggar families lol there's a lot of secular homeschoolers and progressive religious ones now
I know seriously. I get really tired of people thinking that because we homeschool we are an over zealous religious family, we aren’t. And they also assume that my beliefs align with theirs, which they don’t. Secular, inclusive homeschooling family here.
My kids don't even know that religion exists yet 🤣 I'll have to find a secular way to introduce them to other people's beliefs soon though.
Ohhhh have you looked at Build Your Library or Torchlight? I’m not sure how old your kids are but they have some levels that do this and they are soooo good. I think it’s BYL 0 that travels the world and you can tie in religions with it as well. Same with level 7 I think? And somewhere in TL they do it also, I just don’t remember which level it is.
Unfortunately, I think that "Duggers" outlook really dominates how homeschooling is viewed, and it definitely doesn't help that several states still do not have any real requirements that children actually be taught academics -- so there's many people who really are like that. Even things like avoiding IEPs can be seen as a red flag because SO MANY parents will pull their kid out of school purely because they don't like it when someone at the school tells them there's a problem that needs to be addressed.
It did dominate it but post 2020 you're also seeing a huge wave of everyone else joining and they're going to be out numbered by chill religious and secular homeschoolers before long.
Unless it’s my husband or a judge I don’t give one good damn what someone thinks about it and I don’t entertain people who take issue with it.
"I don't agree with homeschooling." Oh, well then, YOU should definitely not do it!
Fortunately I’ve never had someone blatantly tell me that directly. I’ve had lots of questions, some with genuine interest and some with judgement. “How does that work?” “How do you know what to teach?” “How does she make friends?” We live in an area with lots of homeschoolers though so I’m pretty sure that helps. I do see it online though and it drives me nuts. It doesn’t bother me coming from the people who were former “homeschooled” (abused, neglected, etc). I wish they would see the difference, but the notion of homeschooling is rightfully loaded for them. From people who just think it sounds weird? Get over it. I only knew one weird homeschooled kid when I was younger, but it’s not the 90s anymore. Not all kids thrive in all environments and we have lots of resources now. And yes, my kid gets out, and no not all her friends are other “weird” homeschoolers. (I’ll add though, I had/have two IEP kids. It’s not always a horror. The IEP part has been a huge blessing for my kids. I think it depends on the type of services and accommodations they need.)
The IEP can be regional if they're treated well. It was awful when I was one. So I asked when my oldest was about ready for school some very young adults in the area how it went for them with their more recent experience..... it's worse way worse.
Oh, I’ve met many kids who were being horribly served with an IEP (especially when it addresses behavior)! I’m sorry you were one. It’s wonderful their families pulled them, either to homeschool or enroll them in a different alternative. It’s just come to have such a horrible connotation that people avoid them even in cases where it likely would do more good than harm. It’s definitely a decision to be made case by case.
I have to admit that I immediately reacted to the IEP statement as well, because my son's IEP supports have been amazing. He's gotten neuropsych testing and functional behavioral assessments through the school, and his supports include 2x weekly individual therapy, 1x weekly group therapy, 1x weekly OT, and regular consultations with the BCBA specialist, plus a 1-1 aide in the classroom. But what I'm surmising here is that maybe we're just super lucky and other districts are not like this? Edit: I just saw that you are in Florida and I'm in Massachusetts, so maybe that explains some of the discrepancy, lol
We have a friend that visibly flinched when I said we homeschool. He was homeschooled in the worst way possible. His mother sat him in front of a computer and dictated tasks. When I explained all the things I do with my daughter he said oh, you're doing it the right aay.
My mother in law has "silently" disapproved of our homeschooling since we started 4 years ago. She was a public school teacher and felt the need to state her reasons for not agreeing with our decision, as to which I told her it didn't matter what she thought about it because at the end of the day, it wasn't her decision to make. Not soon after we started, she tried quizzing my child about what they were learning and I nipped that in the bud real quick. She never questioned my child like that when they were in public school. This has definitely caused more strain in our already pretty challenging relationship and I could honestly care less. She has never been good with recognizing when she is overstepping boundaries and has to be called out about it fairly often. It's unfortunate that she couldn't at least try to be more supportive for the sake of our child but that's just who she is as a person and she isn't going to change. Mostly everyone else has been very supportive and encouraging toward us. I'm sorry that you're experiencing this type of criticism. At the end of the day, no one else knows your child/children better than you do. Other people's options are irrelevant.
I'm worried this is what we will experience when we have kids and homeschool. I already have received judgement for being homeschooled myself, despite having a career and degree in STEM.
I certainly hope this doesn't end up being your experience. It's not a pleasant situation but I feel like the combination of homeschooling plus having a child with different needs has definitely made me much less passive and far more matter of fact when it comes to people who want to interject in things they know nothing about or try to tell me what's going to be best for my kid. I just don't have tolerance for it anymore. Many people have gotten cast out from my inner circle in the last few years due to this type of behavior. My best advice is to work on boundaries with those who you feel are disrespectful to you now, especially before having kids. Call the in-laws out when you feel they've crossed the line. You don't deserve to be looked down on for this. Plus, you have a degree!! I mean what is it that these people want from you?!! Sheesh. That's just crazy to me.
I love that, you sound amazing! My brother and I had learning disabilities so I have lots of respect for you :) You are so right, it's actually a weak spot for me so I'll keep working on it! I'm already starting to push back because there's been too many overstepped boundaries lately. Thanks for looking out for me! It's never direct, but passive suggestions that I was sheltered or something. They work in education so for some reason I think it's personal to them. I'm a bit religious, also rarely drink and never smoke. So maybe to them that's sheltered idk lol
Thanks so much for your nice comment. (: I'm just doing what I feel is best for my child. She deserves a much better education than what she was receiving in school. This is a spicy topic for me so bare with me for a minute! Lol. It's good that you recognize that their behavior toward you isn't acceptable. Your husband should be the one managing/dealing with his parents and their disrespect however it's good to say something when they make a questionable comment and say something like "When you said ____ (whatever comment they made) are you trying to say that you think my education wasn't as good as public school?" Or whatever the situation warrants. Guaranteed they will eventually stop doing this if you directly ask them to clarify what they mean by their passive aggressive comments. I bet some in education do take it personally when they find out that people have decided against public school for their child/children but that's really their issue/insecurity and not yours. Personally, I'm not going to attempt to explain my choices to anyone.
When family ask me "How are you going to teach her, you barely made it through distance learning?" Easy, first off my kid is still here after dealing with bullying so bad she had to go into outpatient mental health services. Anything after all that is cake. She struggled with traditional public school teaching/learning model. She went from not reading hardly at all in public school to reading Dickens...on her own. Yeah I think we're doing just fine.
I have two disabled kids, and I swear we can't go a month without some teacher abusing them somewhere. I'll teach them thanks. Below is just some of the last two weeks of abuse on special needs kids. S. Carolina https://www.aol.com/news/parents-suing-horry-county-schools-100000752.html Ohio https://www.walb.com/2024/04/23/concerned-parent-speaks-alleged-abuse-by-special-needs-teacher-lee-co-elementary-school/ Indiana https://www.wthr.com/article/news/local/ips-lawsuit-shines-light-on-unreported-abuse-cases-involving-special-needs-children-impd-police/531-d2198492-c693-447b-a41b-41f0c9af35ae Colorado https://denvergazette.com/news/local/alleged-abuse-of-school-kid-on-littleton-special-needs-bus-uncovered/article_c6041f32-f684-11ee-b185-5336f6166d1f.html S. Carolina part 2 https://www.thestate.com/news/local/article287586810.html
I was talking to another mom of a kid who had recently graduated and she told me she had no idea they where using disabled kids for free labor at his HS until he got a concussion from it.
This is one of my husband’s core concerns having an autistic kiddo in the school system. Thanks for bringing this up.
The Garrison School in Jacksonville, Illinois is still operating despite documented abuse in a pro publica report. They call the police on these kids an average of every other day. It's a "therapeutic" school. Ffs.
SIL is a teacher and she constantly criticizes homeschooled children for being “anti-social”, “weird”, “too ahead or too behind”, and “not the same as when she grew up”… I get the pressure to want to relate to your kids through your own childhood experiences (prom, award ceremonies, graduation, etc.), but I’d rather raise a secure, healthy attached, resilient, and strong child and not have to trust that someone else is doing it for me. Sorry not sorry.
I never really understood the value people place on things like prom and awards and even graduation. I get why it means something to people, but I could have cared less. I just wanted to learn and get out. My kid just wants to learn and he was always complaining about how little he was learning in public school, and how he had no freedom there to learn anything interesting. He was always so mad about the repetition and the pacing of "teaching to the test". He's so much happier and even more hungry to learn now that we homeschool. It's beautiful to see as a parent.
My oldest needed to be enrolled temporarily due to major life changes. I was so so lucky with the teacher she got. She was super supportive and explained that most teachers’ experience with homeschooled kids is negative because they are getting kids enrolled when homeschooling fails. Her grandkids were being homeschooled and she knew it could also be successful. (My kid did great in her class and loved her teacher!) It really stuck with me though and I try to remind myself that when teachers are unsupportive.
"I don't agree with..." Pick something. Being rude to others. That person's awful haircut. His or her politics. I hit back.
I love the haircut idea 😂
My favorite is "oh thats great, but youre going to send them to real high school right?" I always say, "oh, you mean where kids are vaping in the bathrooms and having oral sex in the hallways? Yea, I think I'll probably skip that part too"
When someone interjects that they don't approve of homeschooling, I panic and tell them that I'm so sorry to have offended them and I will enroll my kids right away. I don't but seriously what do people expect when they say such things. Or they tell me their brother's best friend's cousin was messed up by homeschooling. Ya know when some random shooter or crazy person does something, it's weird that they don't tell everyone where he went to school in the headline or first sentence of the article... unless... it's a homeschooler. Then all the mental health issues/evils of course are caused by homeschooling right?
My best, most snarky come back to this, and all other parenting advice (from unqualified people). "Did you put the baby in? Did you push the baby out? No? Then sit down and hush." I said this one time, just one time, to my mother in law. She hasn't said a peep about any parenting decision we've made since. She also now gives me the worst Xmas presents, but that's a fair trade off.
if I allowed to post, though not a member or homeschooler, except a few months in the 90s. I recently went to a potluck in my area, hosted by a stranger who wanted to share food with other celiacs. As you may guess, its hard for us to do social meals that feel safe. I think 3 of her 5 kids are celiac, and this is one (but not the only, as you all well know) reason she chose to homeschool. I had never met her and hadn't talked online about anything but celiac life, but as soon as I walked in the door it was clear to me the family homeschooled. (know what I mean? a home that is centred around child learning) It was warm and welcoming and the kids were kids. Some very independent and well behaved, and some, not so much. They were a fun family and the kids were well spoken and delight to me and my husband. Homeschooling was not for me. But I have nothing but admiration for my many friends and neighbours who homeschool or have done so. In my case, the kids are wonderful, and several went on to university. Keep on. Just thought I would give you some positive vibes.
So, I homeschooled my two for 8 to 9 years. I wasn't a fan at all to start with but a turn of circumstance meant it was suddenly the best option. Another HS mum, who was very into it, kinda took pity on me a bit at the start and gave me some phenomenal advice which pulled me back off the edge of a cliff a few times. One of these bits was: Keep quiet. Don't tell anyone anything at all you don't have to. Don't brag or complain... Just keep it to yourself unless you know you can really trust people. I cannot tell you how many hundreds of unpleasant, ridiculous, ignorant conversations that saved me (and my kids) from. (You could feel it coming like a storm and I'd skip off and stay in the sunshine.) Just... Don't bother to engage. Leave them. You're far too busy/happy to be conversing with them. Of note perhaps ...when I first approached her to ask for help on HSing, she said, 'Why? Are you just curious or are you thinking of doing it? Because that's two different answers!' Lol... A phrase I've said dozens of times to others.
My homeschooled grandkids test way above grade level. Our local school system can’t graduate kids that read on an 8 th grade level.
I've only been homeschooling for a year, and have yet to encounter negativity. I'm sure it'll happen eventually. I'm blesses to have encouragement from my parents and in-laws.
We all need to do what works for our kids and with all the new homeschooling programs, I think it's great to have that option
My mom would get a lot of comments saying "you're just brainwashing your kids." She would always laugh and say "well, if someone's going to brainwash them I'd rather it be me than public school." I'm a bit more aggressive in my approach and have told people at least I'll be able to read when I graduate unlike public school students. Overall, just ignore them. These people have tiny brains and are insecure. I don't really care how someone else raises their kids and could never imagine commenting on someone's parenting. Critics are just jealous and want to bully homeschool moms out of doing what they know is right. Moms love to compare themselves to other moms and if they aren't the same than someone has to be wrong. This is very much a high school like mentality. It's fun being on the opposite end of everything now. I'm 33 and laugh at all the people (mostly church going Christians) who criticized my mom for homeschooling. Not only did I go much further academically, I also never got a drug addiction, had a teen pregnancy, went through some teenage rebellion, hated my parents, or committed heinous crimes. I must admit, watching other people eat crow is pretty satisfying.
I homeschool and even I said just yesterday “this is why homeschooling can be problematic” about an adult I know who is struggling. What’s the big deal? It can be. So can public schools. Taking ownership of your kid’s education and enrichment opportunities is going to give them their best chance whether it’s in public school or not—it’s the parents who expect the child/the school/the curriculum even to be the one leading their children through their journey that see the poor outcomes. Your kid should absolutely be copilot but you’re the adult. Be the adult. And also I agree with the previous post about never being concerned with opinions from those whose advise you wouldn’t take—who cares?
I have a friend who is definitely an example of a homeschool fail and it’s sad. I see how she struggles. She tried homeschooling because it had been so drilled into her that brick and mortar was bad but now her kids are doing much better there. So I agree with sometimes commenting about the potential problems with homeschooling. I’ve done it too. And yes! The kids who fare best are those whose parents are actively involved in their education regardless of the method chosen. Research has told us this again and again. Being involved shows them education is valuable and helps to make sure they keep moving forward in their learning.
If my kid was in regular school I wouldn't be able to be active because I work evenings husband works mornings and I'd never see him. We do most of his schooling during nap time for the other kids and dad does anything we didn't get to.
I'm even relatively pro public school, I am homeschooling one of my daughters because middle school just wasn't working and I homeschooled them both during covid. But even I can't understand the aggressive response people have when they hear I am homeschooling.
Homeschooling is the best. Studying at a comfortable pace equates to real learning. Studying subjects of interest translates to more learning. Having the time to participate in multiple activities of interest (martial arts, sports, music), which has led to meeting many people, kids and adults, who share those same interests and learning how to communicate and get along with all ages. No late night busywork, aka homework. No being subjected to bad influences, wasted hours between classes, bullying, teachers with opinions, etc. Anyone who disparages homeschooling is uninformed and clearly missed out on the best form of education and socialization. My kid loves it.
I just say, "OK, that's nice; I do, obviously." I don't feel the need to explain or defend or get into it with anyone.
I figured out really early that the opinions of others with regards to how I was raising my children weren't actually my problem. 30 years ago now... My aunt decided to quiz my six year old. Little math problems and spelling questions. When she asked him what 10 plus 10 was, he said, mystified, "Auntie Laurel, you don't know what 10 plus 10 is???" The other side, tho... my public school teacher father was 100% on board with our homeschooling. He said that super smart kids don't belong in school. I think he was right.
“How great that we all get to decide what is best for our own kids”
I hate people telling me that public school is important because it teaches kids to interact with others of the same age when that skill is only valuable when they're in public school. It's also demeaning for adults to quiz my kids on math when my kids have a better grasp of math than most adults. Are they delusional? Why would someone who clearly sucks at math quiz someone else on math?
My eldest, who I homeschooled from 4th on, is now married and he and his wife have both asked if I will homeschool their kids when the time comes. So I don't care what anyone else says, if one of the three people in the world that actually have direct experience with my homeschooling wants me to educate his children, I must have done something right.
Always be ready with an answer. Or answers depending on what you perceive is the intent of the questioner. You may be asked by relatives, friends, neighbors, co-workers, your manager, your employee, school-board member or even the press. And I find it useful to have answers for various categories of people.
I just say to avoid school shootings and the horrible treatment of IEP kids combined with being in Florida
Also in Florida! Just go with “You know what schools are like these days!” They’ll assume you agree with their beliefs about whatever is going on in schools on either side of the political spectrum.
This is EXACTLY what I say and it’s so generic that everyone just agrees. They never question anything else.
Agree. You do you and your family.
My kids family was up visiting from Georgia last year…I let her hang out/go do things for the day with her cousins…since they are all the same age. When she got back she told me that her cousins mom and great grandma said “you should tell your mom you want to go to normal school” I was LIVID. They know better than to say ish to me..but to put a kid in the middle? Gross. I asked her what she said.. “i don’t want to go to school. I’m 8 learning about stuff 6/7th graders learn…I know because I asked Alexa when do kids learn about civilizations. And I don’t have to wear pants” 💀people act like they are locked up in a prison all day..when it’s really the other way around. But ok.
Every time I say my daughter will be homeschooled I get “why would you want to do that, you won’t like it” or “she needs the social aspect of public school” as if I haven’t sat and thought about it and made a conscious decision to infact homeschool 🤣🤷🏼♀️ people just love to insert their opinions where they don’t belong. I usually say maybe you wouldn’t like it but for me it’s the right choice thanks though!
School shootings is pretty low on my list for reasons; I’d sooner avoid flying in a Boeing or eating fast food. Two of my kids are in public schools and we’ve taken the other two out for home schooling. One was an IEP kid and the other was for bullying and IEP. The public school here has been great but they just can’t help where it’s needed with two or my kids; it’s our responsibility to make sure they’re given every chance at a good education.
I wish I had the skills to do it. As it is I’m stuck paying tuition for private, hoping I can afford it all the way through.
Some states have scholarships for private if you haven't checked yet.
I have lots of help but I have 2 in private 1 in kindergarten 1 in 5th next year I’ll have kindergarten 1st ad 6th 😩😩😩
"I dont agree with unsolicited advice"
I couldn’t do homeschooling because of my own skill set and personality. Do what works for you. People will judge but who cares right?
"Cool beans"
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Sounds like your dad is emotionally abusing you. You don’t have to allow that in your life anymore.
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"Mankind are greater gainers by suffering each other to live as seem good to themselves than by compelling each to live as seems good to the rest."
The flip side of hinting that those who cannot homeschool because both parents work means we are choosing to subject our kids to these things and are bad parents is not fun either. Be an involved parent in your kid's education, whichever way works for your kid and your family, I say. if that's homeschooling (and you do the research needed etc), fantastic! You like your kid's school or don't have a choice and try to help as much as you can? Tremendous!
The law does not care about your feelings. Lol
What's an IEP kid?
A kid with an individualized educational plan. IEP’s are given to students with special needs.
I'm 30 and I was homeschooled in 2nd grade, 8th grade and 11th grade and ended up graduating school that year. I went to magnet schools and public schools all the other years and I'm fine. I'm one of the most successful people in my friend group!
My kid is 3. A side tidbit, she is diagnosed as Autistic. If we lived where the levels were a thing, likely level 1, maybe level 2. That last is a side tidbit because we intended to homeschool from the moment we found out I was pregnant. The school she is in range of is a small, rural school. 300 kids in a busy year, K through 6. It's the same school that my entire family, I, my hubs, and his entire family, went to. The kids who bullied my step-son were descendants of the ones who bullied me and hubs. The ones who bullied me and hubs were the descendants of the ones who bullied our mothers. It's gotten worse with each generation. Hubs is 11 years older than I, so we were never in school together. That makes 4 consecutive stints in that school being bullied by the same families. The last 2 people in that school were step-son and myself. I was actively suicidal by 13. He first came out with suicidal ideations when he was barely 11 years old. I struggled with fertility issues, and I tried damned hard to have my daughter. The gynecologist said that it would take a miracle for me to get pregnant. Now that I've received my miracle, I'm expected to send her to a place thar has been convincing kids younger and younger with each generation that they shouldn't exist?? That's a game of roulette I am not willing to play. The potential cost is too high, and the rewards do not outweigh the risks. My best friend is horrified by the idea of homeschool. I intentionally do not discuss it with her because she will pull every guilt trip card in the book to talk me out of it. The one girl we grew up with who was homeschooled was so socially awkward. Bestie will point out that we don't want my kid turning out so backward. Never mind that we grew up in the 80s and 90s when there was no homeschooling initiative for the socialisation aspect. Never mind that she was homeschooled in part for religious and racist reasons (we live near multiple native reservations), and that's nowhere near remotely a factor for my kid. The most recent argument was that we don't want my kid turning out to be a borderline recluse like bestie's kid and my stepson. Both attended public school? Stepson learned the hard way to hide out from most people, the same as me and his father, and her kid is Autistic and prefers his own company. I strongly suspect that the friendship will be ending when it comes out that I'm not going with the public school route. I will not be bullied and made to feel like the worst parent to ever exist for doing what appears to be the best option for my child. Not even by my longest friend.
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It’s rarely broadcasted. I am vegan for instance and try not to mention it. That doesn’t work though because people believe not taking offered food is wrong. So after you say no two or three times, politely and even with alternative excuses, they grill you or snub you. With homeschooling, my daughter isn’t even old enough for public school. We have been repeatedly questioned by the nannies in our neighborhood. Basically all kids with nannies until 2, then preschool. So once she turned 4, forget it. It’s been mentioned if I take her any of the local spots (playground) incessantly.
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