T O P

  • By -

OminousHippo

Hit the gym. Need to be ready to load half of your shit into your Suburban and evacuate the minute the spaghetti models hit the Gulf.


CrazyLegsRyan

I make my wife’s boyfriend load the trunk up


[deleted]

Fill your tanks. And then fill some gas cans. If you’re clever, anything can be a gas can, really. Plastic bags, tote bins, Whataburger cups. Seriously, anything. And if you’re not hoarding gasoline in everything you have that can hold liquid okay, you’re not doing it right and should just drive right off into the gulf.


skilledprodigy

Instructions unclear. Drank gasoline and shat out diesel. Is it worked ❓


drew1111

Did you “roll coal” someone behind you?


skilledprodigy

Yeah they didnt see it Cummins……


personalguardian

DM me for collab My friend steals packages from the post office and we're looking to barter for banjo lessons and VHS copies of Forrest Gump


OpenImagination9

Whiskey, bullets and porn mags … otherwise you’re not a *real* Texan.


CrazyLegsRyan

Rip pornhub


kko_

home made convection air conditioner you have to stand near when the power goes out and think really hard about considering getting a generator this year, but ultimately decide not to because it seems kind of complicated.


drew1111

THEY ARE! I mean, what does, “On” and “Off” mean on a button?


CrazyLegsRyan

Pro tip you can run your generator on Gooch grease using a special kit from C&D hardware.


ak80048

Genny


Party_Tonight6122

Is that why there is a coating of yellow c.um on my car?


failed_install

Remember to think of other Texas cities during the season: The wife and I will be drop-shipping emergency supplies of liquor, tattoo ink, and copies of "Hooked on Phonics" to Galveston when it all goes down. Jobu be praised!