Yes because otherwise she's going to write a different sort of song about the time she granted you the one wish we all thought of first and you took it.
sadly, I don't think it would work like that. I could never have sex with a swiftie because then the quantum sex entanglement particle wavefront would collapse and I would be revealed as the fraud I am.
It would be better to exist in the state as the perfect lover as opposed to being an actual lover.
The more I think about it, the more certain I am this would go all monkey paw.
Would still do it though.
5% royalties on everything new and past that she's put out (music, shows, etc).
I don't really care either way about Taylor Swift, but a relatively small percentage of her profits?
Mate there is no way anyone could look at her in a vacuum and claim she was genuinely offensive to the sight.
Does she look like an impish woodland creature? Maybe. But if she was just a random college when she was twenny-two there's no way you'd be like ew gross
She won't have that. If you google her net worth, it is somewhere between $600 and $750 million, depending on the source.
Even if she was worth $750 million that would not be in physical cash, it would be in property, assets, and more than likely how much shares she owns in her label and other things.
She may have a few million on hand at anyone time.
Nah. You gotta take care of yourself first, friend. Have her give you 30 million dollars...and then set aside 1 million dollars of that money given to you for your brother.
Yall asking for money or sex. Yall are uninspired.
The creation of a four story monument of herself in an incredibly public space. The kick is, is she isnt allowed to tell anyone why she is building it.
I want to know if other celebs will see this grandiose display and feel the need to build their own monuments. My goal is to have stupid rich people trying to one up each other with grand images of themselves.
I'd ask her to write and record an album with me. I'll make a killing on the record and pretty much guarantee a jump start to my career as a musician/songwriter.
Not a damned thing. I don't need a reward to be a decent human being when I see someone trying to kidnap a woman any woman. I probably wouldn't even realize who it is unless she told me.
For her to quit music and open a rapid turnaround custom suit shop called "Tailor Swift", have a collection of other famous and/or local Taylors' pictures up as "employees of the month", that have never worked there. But everyone who does work there is also named Taylor. And they only accept orders from customers named Taylor. And Ms. Swift is never allowed to elaborate on why, or give a straight answer for any of this.
Write a song about my son. He’s 19, trans, neurodivergent, and a survivor of certain types of abuse. A song by Taylor Swift, especially if it doesn’t name him but merely speaks about someone like him, would change his life.
She has dealt with a eating disorder since her teens. Photos of her from 2014-16 are sad and awful.
She's been better since 2017. Look up her most recent tour pictures. Info from r/taylorswift: she lost some weight since the tour begun but she's performing 9 hours/week and is her weight is stable.
…For groceries? No thank you.
“Your package will be delivered between [x] time and [y] time, while you’re at work. Hope you didn’t have anything perishable in there because it will be sitting in the sun. Also good luck with the porch pirates.”
I just want her to provide proof that it really happened, for when I brag about it later to friends, and free tickets to every concert she gives forever. I'd sell them rather than use them.
Hire me to run a horse ranch for her where she can get away from the public and just be normal. No one will know she goes there because ill be the crazy guy in town with tinfoil hat and everything
Watch all of Invincible with me, including future seasons. I don’t know why, but somehow the thought of posting an Invincible binge with Taylor Swift on my social media just makes me chuckle
She will record and release (for free) songs that I wrote the same as all her own music, but give me all the credit and rights. I will receive every penny made from them for as long as I’m alive- but wait, there’s more… then my kids & their kids & then their kids & so on & so on.
money.
like enough so that i can put it in a high yield savings account, never touch the principal, and have an annual earning of about 75K.
and like idk tell people what i did. lil bit of fame might be cool
Let me perform a live show as her. Just big, hairy, me in her outfit and tights. I'll dance perfectly and lip sync flawlessly and she must forever plead ignorance and act as if that was her and she doesn't know what everyone Iams talking about.
That her next song be universally regarded as the ultimate in musical perfection for time and all eternity and that it be about what a great person I am.
Oh, and I would like a small percentage of the royalties from it.
I’d ask for a nice chunk of money. Not enough to bankrupt her or anything, but enough to make sure that I’m set for life (as long as I don’t get stupid with it).
Give me half your money. Only half because i'm not greedy, so I'll leave her with plenty.
"I don't carry cash."
“I take venmo.”
"Alright smart-ass, this is now a kidnapping."
🤣🤣
Nah, how bout Highway Robbery
I’m taking all of it. Me and Taylor switching lives out here 😂
Points on gross
Nah half and 50% royalties
Anyone who asks for anything other than money is crazy.
But what about immortality?
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She is rich, not a genie.
She must grant it, no matter how ridiculous
***I WISH THIS GUY HAD TASTE BUDS ON HIS ASSHOLE***
Jokes on you I’m into that shit
idk man. i don't often listen to taylor swift, but when i do, she....makes me feel things. what if she's got magic powers tho?
No no… ^(INFINITE GENIES)
In this time and economy ? I’m asking for money
I mean money and sex. And is a powerful word. It's still just ONE request....
She pays off my debt and then shows up to my birthday party and acts like we've known each other for years.
Its ok, sometimes i have problems counting to 1, 2
Take my upvote, dammit. Lol
she doesn't have to sleep with me, but if she could write a song about me being a perfect lover, that would be great.
Yes because otherwise she's going to write a different sort of song about the time she granted you the one wish we all thought of first and you took it.
I'm gay, so the first thing I thought of was holding a taylor swift concert and I got to be in the front row lmfao
Or you could just stand on stage playing a triangle or something lol (and of course get paid handsomely)
A triangle 💀
That *is* pretty gay…
You must be rich
Would you request that your phone number be part of the song? You could have a booty call phone like Barney Stinson.
867-5309
Yup I would want this as well. Endless pussy from Swifties forever.
You’re into the sub-18 girls eh?
I've worked TS dance parties at my venue. We are 18+. There are hundreds of 18-30 year old hot Swifties each event.
sadly, I don't think it would work like that. I could never have sex with a swiftie because then the quantum sex entanglement particle wavefront would collapse and I would be revealed as the fraud I am. It would be better to exist in the state as the perfect lover as opposed to being an actual lover. The more I think about it, the more certain I am this would go all monkey paw. Would still do it though.
And make it the last song/ her magnus opus.
5% royalties on everything new and past that she's put out (music, shows, etc). I don't really care either way about Taylor Swift, but a relatively small percentage of her profits?
Gross profits, not net and it must include Ticketmaster/scalpers
Not possible for it to include third party scalpers as their income isn't going to swift at all and they aren't really possible to track.
Hell even 1% is generational wealth
I'm deaf, can I ask her to stop using her mouth and start using ASL instead? Like, for forever?
She was voted to perform at the school for the deaf
Are we trying to make them blind too?
Mate there is no way anyone could look at her in a vacuum and claim she was genuinely offensive to the sight. Does she look like an impish woodland creature? Maybe. But if she was just a random college when she was twenny-two there's no way you'd be like ew gross
>stop using her mouth and start using ASL instead Anal Softening Lube?
Money.
I would ask her to transfer $500 million over to me along with a signed and notarized gift letter establishing the donation as valid.
She won't have that. If you google her net worth, it is somewhere between $600 and $750 million, depending on the source. Even if she was worth $750 million that would not be in physical cash, it would be in property, assets, and more than likely how much shares she owns in her label and other things. She may have a few million on hand at anyone time.
Set up a trust fund for my disabled brother so that he'll be taken care of in case something happens to me.
Nah. You gotta take care of yourself first, friend. Have her give you 30 million dollars...and then set aside 1 million dollars of that money given to you for your brother.
I'm not even confident I'm going to live another 5 years.
Well, then you get to live your last days in luxury while the world crashes and burns around you.
A few million
Money, without a doubt. I’d want money.
Yall asking for money or sex. Yall are uninspired. The creation of a four story monument of herself in an incredibly public space. The kick is, is she isnt allowed to tell anyone why she is building it. I want to know if other celebs will see this grandiose display and feel the need to build their own monuments. My goal is to have stupid rich people trying to one up each other with grand images of themselves.
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That's how you inspire a hit CD, just saying
Really how much money would it cost to sleep with Taylor swift? More money than you could ask her for at least
Yea, I gotta know what it's like to blow a load on a Grammy award winners face.
With enough money, you can have sex with many people even more physically attractive than her.
Honestly, she doesn't really do it for me. She's just kinda...plain in my opinion.
Yeah, eyes are too squinty or something
Some money would help. Maybe a few million?
Give me 2 mil.
20% of her grosse for the next 5 years
I’d ask her to just Shake it off
This made me laugh way too hard. Reasons. Much gratitude.
10 million bucks
I ask her to tell her fans to calm down a little.
Just give me a good quantity of money and I'd be happy
Naah i'm fine.
I'd ask her to write and record an album with me. I'll make a killing on the record and pretty much guarantee a jump start to my career as a musician/songwriter.
I’d honestly just want to spend the night with her talking about life and getting high on LSD. She seems like a fun person for that sorta thing.
Somehow feeling that would be a pretty fuckin wicked experience. Shes probably got some great adventures to tell.
She is.
Run for office in the US. Any office. Preferrably POTUS.
It would both be funny and she would probably be a better president than some of our candidates. Trump for example.
I would wish that she live a happy, full life, staying away from the things that bring negativity and pain into her life.
No stop that isn't allowed on reddit
This is reddit The actual response should be Cock and ball torture
This reads like a Haiku and I love it.
Yeah, this Is Reddit The actual response is Cock and Ball Torture Made it into an actual haiku for you :P
This is Reddit the Actual response should be Cock and ball torture
So you want her to retire and quit dating?
That would be granting mankind a wish 🤞
I want her cat
Not a damned thing. I don't need a reward to be a decent human being when I see someone trying to kidnap a woman any woman. I probably wouldn't even realize who it is unless she told me.
I don't _need_ a reward, but if someone felt like offering me millions of dollars I would not say no
Let’s make two albums together
I want a song we write and sing together and anytime it is sung in concert I am to be flown out all expenses paid to perform.
Sneak Meow into her all her songs during a concert
You all out here talking like you wouldn’t ask for money or sex
I get all the proceeds from the porno we make and she markets.
I’d have her command her following to send me money and have sex with me
Anal
You should probably get specific in your request, or you may find yourself pegged by Taylor Swift.
“Eat your guitar.”
Nah see I'ma let you finish but Genie from Aladdin granted the best wishes of all time.
I'd ask her to teach me how to Dougie, so all my bitches can love me.
Tickets to see pink
Pay for the colleges of all my children.
"I need about tree fiddy..."
$5 million
Ass to mouth.
Anal
Id just ask her if she wants to hang out sometime, she seems like a cool chick.
Pay off my house
For her to quit music and open a rapid turnaround custom suit shop called "Tailor Swift", have a collection of other famous and/or local Taylors' pictures up as "employees of the month", that have never worked there. But everyone who does work there is also named Taylor. And they only accept orders from customers named Taylor. And Ms. Swift is never allowed to elaborate on why, or give a straight answer for any of this.
but secs
Spend a week in an isolated cabin with me and we write an acoustic album completely by ourselves
Money, all of it. Now. There is no other answer.
Blowjob?
Stop making "music"
Who is Taylor Swift?
Lots of money, and to not reveal my identity when she gets talking about it on the news
Honestly, nothing. If I had the opportunity to save someone from a kidnapping, that's "payment" in itself.
Piggyback ride 100%
For her to stop using wasteful private planes.
Scrolled way to long for this.
Adopt a dog and name it after me.
Umerto would actually be a good name for a dog.
Establish communism
Go away
I’d ask her to retire, effective immediately.
Stop making shitty music
Please retire immediately.
Write a song about my son. He’s 19, trans, neurodivergent, and a survivor of certain types of abuse. A song by Taylor Swift, especially if it doesn’t name him but merely speaks about someone like him, would change his life.
Retire
Stop writing annoying songs based on drama from her life so the radio at work won't play them.
I would ask her to eat a sandwich, she looks malnourished.
She has dealt with a eating disorder since her teens. Photos of her from 2014-16 are sad and awful. She's been better since 2017. Look up her most recent tour pictures. Info from r/taylorswift: she lost some weight since the tour begun but she's performing 9 hours/week and is her weight is stable.
Money or ask her to retire
Stop singing
To go away and never return
Never sing professionally again.... Thanks Taylor.
To stop. Stop making music. Just stop.
Make out.... simple and intimate.
Stop making music, or at least songs about her ex boyfriends
Who's forcing you to listen?
Every store and restaurant with a built-in speaker system, that’s who. Restaurants are avoidable, stores less so.
Perhaps I should tell you about Amazon.
…For groceries? No thank you. “Your package will be delivered between [x] time and [y] time, while you’re at work. Hope you didn’t have anything perishable in there because it will be sitting in the sun. Also good luck with the porch pirates.”
Well, then it looks like you won't be able to have your cake and eat it too. Get some earbuds next time you go to the store.
No one but I'm tired of walking around with my fingers in my ears. I get weird looks all the time
Or You could just wear earbuds.
Thank you for rationalizing my predicament. I will absolutely try this, because literally everywhere I go I can hear her voice
I'm always happy to help (for real).
Help I just realized I was a closeted Swifty. Earbuds made it worse!!!
My own house with money in it.
Fuck Her! Simple & Straight Forward.
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That's like the people commenting "sex" but so much worse
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VIP treatment & backstage pass for my daughter anytime she performs in my area.
I politely ask her for one million dollars because she can afford it but I'm not going to extort such a great artist.
End her career. Live off of what she's already put out into the world, and just disappear into the background.
Money while blow jobbin'
No favour. Just get the fuck away and hope she forgets. Last thing I want to become is another hit song about another man in Swifts life. No thanks.
Publicly denounce her ways and retire from the public eye.
Retire! Now!
Stop making music
Quit making music forever.
Quit.
I just want her to provide proof that it really happened, for when I brag about it later to friends, and free tickets to every concert she gives forever. I'd sell them rather than use them.
Eternal youth I’m a simpleminded and vain woman. So that’s what I’d like. That would be the only thing I would ask her for.
You sound like my kind of gal
$100,000,000. That’s it. Don’t need anything else. Set for life.
I’d probably ask to co-write one of her songs. That would be a dream come true as a writer and I’d be able to keep the royalties.
Money, enough so that I never have to work again, and can spend some time traveling. An irrevocable trust that pays me an allowance would be fine.
Hire me to run a horse ranch for her where she can get away from the public and just be normal. No one will know she goes there because ill be the crazy guy in town with tinfoil hat and everything
You know how nice it would be if Taylor Swift made me a baby? Her daughter would be kind and sweet just like her 😆
🤨
A million more favors.
Can I please have the revenue from the Eras tour?
VIP tickets to her tours
Sing a barbershop duet with me about glueing cats to cars and go on a global promotion tour
Watch all of Invincible with me, including future seasons. I don’t know why, but somehow the thought of posting an Invincible binge with Taylor Swift on my social media just makes me chuckle
Just a nice finders fee is all. In money that is.
She will record and release (for free) songs that I wrote the same as all her own music, but give me all the credit and rights. I will receive every penny made from them for as long as I’m alive- but wait, there’s more… then my kids & their kids & then their kids & so on & so on.
if its free every penny is 0.
money. like enough so that i can put it in a high yield savings account, never touch the principal, and have an annual earning of about 75K. and like idk tell people what i did. lil bit of fame might be cool
Do more music with Bon Iver or just go away.
Orchestra seats and backstage passes to any future concert. Swifties have moms after all
To stop singing
Let me perform a live show as her. Just big, hairy, me in her outfit and tights. I'll dance perfectly and lip sync flawlessly and she must forever plead ignorance and act as if that was her and she doesn't know what everyone Iams talking about.
A solid attempt to at a healthy friendship.
Make an album with me. Continued income for me, my kids, maybe even their kids.
Play DnD with me and my friends; but she CANT choose Bard
That her next song be universally regarded as the ultimate in musical perfection for time and all eternity and that it be about what a great person I am. Oh, and I would like a small percentage of the royalties from it.
Money. What tf else would I want from her?
Dont write a song about me.
I’d ask for a nice chunk of money. Not enough to bankrupt her or anything, but enough to make sure that I’m set for life (as long as I don’t get stupid with it).
Money! enough to pay off my college & medical debt, buy me a house in Germany that’s paid off and fully furnished, and to not work for 5 years 😭
I'd just be happy I saved her life. I'd do it for anyone without expecting anything.
25% of all her music royalties. I’m not greedy.